Legal Note From The Sarcasm Department
Do not read this story if:
You are not over 18 years old (or the legal age where you live).
Reading this story will land you in jail (unless you're into that type of thing).
You don't want to read about men touching other men in somewhat inappropriate places.
You are prone to masturbatory spraining.
This story is completely fictional. It is not meant to represent or reproduce any person or situation. If this seems to mirror your life in any way, you're a lucky bastard.
Enjoy!
Beethoven And Bach ==================
I woke to the sound of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, the gentle melody interrupted every few moments by a loud sneeze from my mother. I crawled out of bed, grabbing blindly for my robe as I struggled to clear the sleep from my eyes.
By the time I made it downstairs, my mother had begun to play one of my favorite piano melodies. I started humming the tune as I made my way downstairs, and once my feet hit the floor of the living room I started to sing along.
"Drawn by thee... our souls aspiring..."
My mom glanced at me, smiled and began to play in earnest.
"Word of God... our flesh that fashioned..."
How she could get me to sing when I was barely conscious, I'll never know.
"With the fire of life impassioned...striving still to truth unknown..."
I took a deep breath and belted out the last line with gusto.
"Soaring... dying round thy throne..."
She finished playing the concluding notes as I took a few calming breaths. Normally when "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring" is played on the piano, it's a rather sedate and relaxing song. Unfortunately for me, I'd recently seen Josh Groban in concert and could no longer sing it with anything less than my full vocal range. Once our little mother/son bonding moment had passed, I headed into the kitchen to rustle up some food.
I didn't even have a chance to make it to the fridge before she asked me the most irritating question that I could think of.
"How come you only sing for me? You're in a band... you should take advantage of it!"
"MOM! Are you ever just going to let that go? I play guitar and I write songs. I do NOT sing in public, nor am I likely to any time soon!"
Scowling, I headed out to the garage. I snatched my pack of smokes off of the workbench and headed for the tiny section of the patio in which I was allowed to smoke. My mother hated the idea of me smoking, like most mothers do, but at least she had stopped asking me every day when I was going to quit. She used to smoke two packs a day until she got pregnant with my little brother, at which time she appointed herself Queen of the Reformed Smokers.
I plopped down onto the little wooden bench that she had placed on the furthest end of the veranda and lit a cigarette.
"I figured you'd be out here!"
Peeking around the corner was the Queen herself. She was leaning her head around the corner as if shielding her body from the smoke would somehow keep her from inhaling it. By this time I was convinced that she was just bugging me so that she could get her nagging quota for the day out of the way early.
"What do you want NOW?"
"I don't know why you risk ruining such a beautiful voice with those things..."
"It's the slowest and most enjoyable form of suicide that I know of."
Years of practice banter had perfected the straight faced delivery of that line, intricately calculated to achieve maximum anger. I calmly blew smoke rings as she came fully around the corner.
"That's not even funny, young man! Why do you always have to be such a little shit about everything?"
"I learned from the best. Now would you mind leaving me alone so that I can get back to my smoky little death treat?"
Uh oh... I wasn't expecting the wagging-finger-in-the-face move.
"One of these days you're going to light your last one of those and then we'll see who's sorry! Those things cause impotence, you know."
She crossed her hands over her chest and gave a triumphant mom look.
"Well, if my penis ever stops working, you'll be the first one to know."
"Sometimes I wonder if they switched babies in the hospital... how you turned out so different than your brothers I'll never know."
With that, she stormed back around the corner and into the house. I sighed, stubbed out my cigarette and resolutely headed inside to make peace with her. I found my mom standing in front of the sink, muttering under her breath and angrily swiping dirty dishes with a dish towel.
"Are you going to come to the club tonight? Sarah's going to be there to hear our new song and I'm sure she'd love to say hi."
"I don't know... I might. Your dad is taking Denny to his baseball game, so it would just be me in the house alone. Wait... aren't you supposed to be watching Angie tonight?"
"No mom, that's tomorrow night. Angie is spending the night here so that Tess can go take care of her mom after the surgery."
She dropped the dish towel and gave me a concerned look.
"Are things OK with you guys?"
"Yeah, ma... things will be fine. Look, I have to go get ready for work. If you want to swing by the club tonight, you're more than welcome to."
I gave her a quick peck on the cheek and then headed to the bathroom. Luckily for me, she didn't follow with any more questions about the whole Tess situation and I didn't volunteer anything. After a quick shower, I grabbed a change of clothes and my guitar and headed out the door. There were only 11 hours left until the unveiling of Davey's Goliath's latest minor hit, which gave me approximately 10 hours and 59 minutes to think about Terryn.
Cigarettes And Chocolate Milk ======================
"GameTex Marketing, this is Terryn."
"I know it is, you nerd. Don't you ever look at your caller ID?"
I glanced down at the digital display on my phone. The words "Conference Room 1A" blinked slowly.
"Geez Sunny, you could have just come in to my office."
"No time. Listen, your 2 o'clock meeting is about to start and you've got to get ready for your presentation. The projectors and your notes are all ready to go, but if you're not in here in 5 minutes, there are going to be several VPs that won't be too happy with you."
"Oh shit... it's that time already? Alright, I'm on my way."
I hung up the phone, grabbed my jacket from behind the door and made my way down the hallway. Halfway to the conference room, I realized that I was still idly chewing on the pen that had captured my attention for the last 20 minutes. I shrugged on my jacket, tossed the pen into a garbage can and entered the conference room.
As always, Sunny had taken care of everything for me. Snacks and drinks were arranged in an unobtrusive location and everything looked spotless. Sunny was standing at the head of the conference table with her arms crossed over her chest and a frown on her face.
"You look like you just got out of bed!"
"Huh?"
"Come here!"
Sunny adjusted my collar and tie while I stood staring off into space. I've always hated the things, but when you deal with a bunch of 60 year old businessmen on a daily basis they become a necessary evil.
"Did you even eat lunch?"
"Huh?"
"OK, now you're scaring me. Here, eat this."
Sunny handed me a Nutrigrain bar, which I gnawed at absentmindedly.
"Hey... space cadet! Are you going to be alright for this meeting, or should I try to postpone it?"
"Nahh, I'll be fine. I didn't sleep well last night, so my brain's on autopilot right now. The upside is that I know this material like the back of my hand, and convincing these guys that this is the right marketing strategy for our next release should be a cakewalk."
Sunny gave me a blank look.
"I'll be fine! Thanks for setting this all up by the way. It completely slipped my mind."
"No problem. Just remember to stay focused, and try not to eat any more pens today!"
Sunny left the room and I sat down in the chair behind the podium for a final review of my notes. A few minutes later, the VPs started to file into the room and I launched into my presentation. Sunny's fears proved to be groundless as I went over the marketing campaign that we had designed for our newest game, and the meeting finally wrapped up after a rather lengthy Q and A session. Once that had been taken care of, I wandered back to my desk in time to see Sunny packing up for the day.
"Wow... were we really in there for that long?"
"Yep... it's almost 5:30, which means it's time to leave. How did the meeting go?"
"It actually went very well. I'm pretty sure that they're all on board with our ideas, and I didn't even nod off once."
I laughed and headed into my office. Sunny poked her head around the doorframe.
"Hey... got any plans for tonight?"
"Mmmm... not particularly. Why?"
"Well, I was thinking that you needed to get out some and clear your head so that you don't end up zombified yet again tomorrow. My girlfriend and I are going out for some drinks tonight, and I'm sure that she wouldn't mind if you tagged along."
"Ahh... 'tagged along', eh? Why does that make me feel like a particularly sad piece of baggage?"
"C'mon... you should meet Sarah. I think you two will get along great! You're both snarky little bitches."
Sunny laughed and flipped me off.
"I don't know Sunny... I'm not really in the mood to go out and be social tonight."
"I'll tell you what... you come out with us tonight and hang out for a little while. The bar we're going to is right near your house anyway, so if you don't feel like staying out too late you can always go home."
"Alright, alright... you win. You guys going to Edgy's or The Stone?"
"Edgy's closed about 3 weeks ago. Besides, The Stone has much better bartenders."
"OK, what time should I be there?"
"I have to pick Sarah up after work, so I'd say 8-ish?"
"Alright, I'll meet you guys there. I've got a little bit of work to take care of before I leave, but it shouldn't take me too long."
"OK, boss... see you then."
"I really wish you wouldn't call me tha-"
I hadn't even finished my sentence before she had ducked out of my office and into the hallway. I shook my head and sat down to get to work.
An hour later, I had accomplished absolutely nothing. It's very easy to waste time by idly clicking through emails and staring intently at spreadsheets, and it's even easier just to stare at the ceiling. Rather than spend any more time in my chair I decided to head down to the company gym before I went out for the night. On my way to the gym, I made a quick detour to the parking garage to grab my overnight bag out of the car. Normally I'm not a very big fan of pointless exercise, but the occasional stint on a treadmill gives me time to think. Since I had been a full time employee of GameTex for a few years, I had been assigned a personal locker in the gym's changing room. I changed into a pair of running shorts, grabbed my iPod and hit the floor of the gym. Luckily for me, there was no one else using the gym at the time. As I walked at a nice clip, I flipped through the songs on my iPod and settled on some vapid Top 40 pop. Once my blood had started to flow, I cranked up the volume on the iPod and picked up the pace. My feet settled in to a nice rhythm and I began to count along with my steps. I had a whole slate of tricks to keep my mind occupied in times like these, and the rhythmic counting was an easy way of avoiding less pleasant thoughts.
1...2...3...4...
After a while, I started to mentally sing along with the music as I stared out of the window. The Gametex gym took up most of the third floor of the building, and had a full slate of glass windows that overlooked the street outside. At nighttime, the windows offered an amazing view of the bay, the water speckled with tiny lights that flowed back and forth. If you could look past the unceasing rows of headlights flooding the freeways with light, the bay actually held a nicely pleasant charm.
Once my second programmed run had completed, I shut off the treadmill and headed back to the locker room. I still had a bit of time before I was supposed to meet Sunny and Sarah so I ditched the running shorts and my iPod, wrapped a towel around my waist and headed for the sauna. Apparently the sauna had been used recently as it was still quite warm and didn't take more than a few minutes to reach the heat that I was looking for.
The first blast of hot, stagnant air was a shock. Since the heating element was warm, a quick ladle of water added a nice burst of steam to the air. I scampered up to the top row of wooden benches and lay down. Realizing that I was still technically at work, and that it probably wouldn't do to have just anyone seeing me lounging around in the nude, I strategically placed my towel to avoid embarrassment and started breathing in the cleansing air.
As I lay on the bench, I could almost feel the steam seeping its way into my pores. I watched the air shimmer and sway above my head and then slid into a nice, pleasant middle ground between sleep and wakefulness. Before I knew it, the timer on the sauna dinged loudly, and I grudgingly gave up my very comfortable and relaxing spot. As I stood up, I enjoyed a leisurely stretch, feeling every little minor ache of my calf and thigh muscles. Being the good little boy that I was, I made sure to turn off the sauna as I made my way to the shower.
No matter how cleansed you feel after a sauna, a minute in the shower is all it takes to prove you wrong. As the water poured over me, I actually felt good for the first time all day. My workout had given me the perfect opportunity to temporarily escape from my own mental space, and the shower made me feel utterly clean and contented. With a spring in my step, I dried myself off and got dressed.
One nice, comfortable pair of jeans and a T-shirt later, I walked out to my car and headed to the bar. As I pulled into the parking lot, I could see Sunny standing in front of the door with what could only be the girlfriend that she never shut up about. Once I had parked my car, I checked my hair in the rear view mirror, did a quick pit sniff and went to meet evil incarnate.
Much to my surprise, Sarah seemed nothing like the Tasmanian devil that Sunny had described. She was polite, seemed interested in what I had to say, and showered me with baseless compliments.
I figured that she was up to no good, but I couldn't figure out just what was going on in that head of hers.
We made our way into the noisy bar and found an open table. The girls decided on an opening round of rum and cokes, so I made my way to the bar to get the drinks. As I stood at the bar, the house lights dimmed and the bartender stood up on a stool behind the bar.
"Ladies and gentlemen... once again gracing our stage...Davey's Goliath!"
Everyone in the room burst into applause as I waited for the bartender to take our drink orders. He finally made his way to where I was standing and asked me what I wanted.
"Hey... I'll have three rum and cokes, please."
He started pouring drinks just as the band started to play. The music sounded like a hundred other bands that were playing on the radio, and I tuned it out as I fished some money out of my wallet. As I handed the bartender the money for the drinks, I happened to glance in the mirrored wall behind his head. I saw Sunny and Sarah dancing in the middle of the floor, and I smiled. They looked so cute together, dancing and having a good time. Sunny appeared to have mastered a technique that involved throwing her hands up in the air with a complete disregard for the rhythm of the song, while Sarah was doing her best imitation of a weeping willow. I couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of the two acting like fools and having a wonderful time doing it.
In the middle or their sporadic flopping, they pulled apart briefly and between them appeared the band's guitarist. I slumped into the bar stool that I had been standing next to. I turned around to watch Erik play, drinks forgotten on the bar behind me. I sat transfixed as I watched Erik's fingers strum the guitar strings, the notes blending into the melodies of the drums and the female lead singer. I was vaguely aware of someone talking in my ear, but I paid no attention as the song continued.
As Erik played the guitar, he stared at the strings of his guitar intently. Just before the final bars, the tempo of the song picked up and his fingers started moving even faster. The sheer speed of his movements was breathtaking, and every note was distinct for the fraction of a second until the next one came. With a crash of cymbals, the band wrapped up the song. Once again, the crowd erupted in applause.
As the applause continued, I grabbed one of the drinks and downed it in one long swallow. The alcohol helped numb the shock of yet another unexpected run-in with Erik, and I felt the warmth spread throughout my chest. Sunny and Sarah clapped along with the crowd, completely oblivious to my discomfort as Erik stood and stepped up to the microphone.
================ Author's Note # ================
Apologies for the lengthy delay. Apparently my ISP thought that I was paying them money to NOT be online.
Another short chapter, but all I can say is "It begins...".
Thanks for sticking with me so far! :D
This story is dedicated to the perfect man in an imperfect situation... here's to hoping that the future brings better tidings.
Copyright 2004 by TehGenius. Comments and constructive criticism welcome at stories@tehgenius.com.