Legal Note From The Sarcasm Department
Do not read this story if:
You are not over 18 years old (or the legal age where you live).
Reading this story will land you in jail (unless you're into that type of thing).
You don't want to read about men touching other men in somewhat inappropriate places.
You are prone to masturbatory spraining.
This story is completely fictional. It is not meant to represent or reproduce any person or situation. If this seems to mirror your life in any way, you're a lucky bastard.
Enjoy!
Erik Makes A Decision =================
Even though the rain had started to fall again, I decided to take a walk in the vain hope that it would bring some sort of perspective to my thoughts. In the span of ten minutes I had gone from a reasonably well adjusted guy with a sad fascination with a dream lover to a moping, whiny, angry guy with a sad fascination with the embodiment of a dream.
Yet with all of that pent up energy and emotion I was still too scared to do anything to make my fantasy real.
I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. When I left the store I wasn't really headed in a particular direction, so I found myself wandering past the parking lot of the office building directly across the street from my store. I'd always been fascinated with the huge buildings that almost seemed out of place in the area. If you were to view the area from a plane, you'd see the cozy little shopping center that housed my coffee shop, a sea of houses, and three large office towers jutting up in the center. They were all tastefully designed buildings, and the highest one was only 8 stories so they weren't eyesores by any means. Just... out of place.
The best feature of the business campus was the public basketball courts near the street. Practically any time I wanted to see some nice sweaty man flesh I could head over to the courts and enjoy the buffet. I didn't figure that anyone would be on the courts due to the rain, but I wandered over anyway.
As I walked, I ran my eyes over the impressive collection of luxury cars in the parking lot. Mingled among the Mercedes, BMWs and Lexuses (Lexii?) were some impressive vintage Corvettes and even a nicely maintained Mustang.
A red Mustang. Just like he used to drive. No... fucking... way.
I wandered around the back of the Mustang, fully convinced that I would be disappointed. Once I saw the small bumper sticker, though, I knew that my suspicions had been right. I felt a lump in my throat as I looked at the faded teddy bear on the sticker. The years had bleached nearly all of the color from the sticker, but my mind's eye could see all of the detail of the bear as it had been when it was new.
Realizing that I probably looked suspicious wandering around someone else's car, I quickly headed toward the courts. Though there were only a couple determined players out, but I recognized a guy that I had played with a couple times. We chatted for a few minutes and I was just about to leave when I happened to glance over the guy's shoulder. Terryn was leaning against a door in a little alcove smoking a cigarette while staring off into space. I briefly entertained the notion of walking over and telling him about his license, but I froze. As I watched him, I kept seeing an image of the way he used to look superimposed over his actual form. I blinked my eyes rapidly to clear the image, and as I did he grabbed his briefcase and hurried toward the parking lot. As always, I had seen him, but he didn't notice me at all.
A voice brought me back to Earth.
"You up for some one on one?"
"Nahh... I was just out for a walk and thought I'd say hi."
"Alright, bro, take it easy then."
As he walked back to the court I turned and headed back to my car. Once I reached my car, I briefly pondered going in to get Terryn's I.D., but I couldn't bear to face the possibility that he had already come and retrieved it. Instead of finding out for sure, I decided to leave the car in the parking lot and walk home.
Normally, walking gives me a chance to think, sing like a maniac, and generally feel good about being me. Walking home with a busy mind, however, simply gave me time to mope, whine and obsess over Terryn.
Why couldn't I talk to him?
Why hadn't I told him about his license?
Why hadn't I dropped everything I had been doing and tell him how I felt about him?
Why did I spend so much time asking myself stupid questions that I already knew the answer to?
I pushed open the front door and made a beeline for my room. I knew that as soon as my mother heard the door open she'd be on me with a host of stupid questions and trite observations about the neighbors, none of which I was in the mood for. I managed to fend off her incessant badgering with a series of noncommittal nods, grunts, and one final slam of a door. When I moved back in she had promised to treat me less like a son and more like a roommate, a promise that had lasted all of three days. I loved my mom and I really didn't mind helping her out financially after the divorce was final, but sometimes it seemed like she went out of her way to get on my nerves.
I quickly sequestered myself in my room and locked the door. After the roller coaster ride that had been my day so far the last thing I wanted was to have someone come barging in and ruining what little peace and quiet I could get my hands on. As usual, I booted up my computer and checked my email. I flicked through the long list of emails from random people from the ever-so-successful online dating services that I had signed up with. Nearly all of them ended with "so we should hook up, 'cuz you're hot!". I grimaced as I deleted all of them. My profiles were studded with references to my romantic notions, desire for a long term relationship and unwavering desire NOT to hook up with someone for a one night stand. Needless to say, every email I got was either from a 50 year old man wanting an "activities partner" or someone who thought my picture looked hot. To this day, I'm not even sure why I signed up for the damned things. The only man I really wanted had walked out of my life and left me alone, and no other guy could compare to my image of love.
Judging by my reaction at the basketball court, neither could the real thing.
I sighed at that lovely thought and fired up my web browser. It had been a while, but I had a hankering to read a really good love story. I headed over to Nifty and started browsing.
Hmmm... this one looks interesting. Guy meets hot guy... both guys have inexplicable threesome with pizza guy?
sigh click
Guy meets guy... guys fall in love... guy gets in a car accident and spends time in a coma... guy is woken like Sleeping Beauty with a confession of undying love.
sigh click
Guy meets guy... guy sleeps with guy... guy sleeps with a different guy... guy sleeps with yet another guy.
sigh click
Guy meets guy... guy rebuffs guy... guy realizes that he's in love with other guy after being shot and put into a coma.
double sigh click
Guy lusts after guy... guy is too shy to say anything...
Hmmm... could it be? Finally, something of interest!
... guy finally has the nerve to say something after other guy is shot during a car accident involving a pizza guy and a comatose hamster.
growl Windows chimes
For the first time in ages, Nifty had utterly failed me. I don't suppose that it was actually the fault of a non-sentient story archive, but it was nice to be able to blame something. I rummaged through my DVD collection, flipping through the porn section with a fain sneer of distaste, and finally settled on one of my favorites, Big Eden. Nothing can take your mind off of an issue like watching a movie in which that very issue is reenacted (but this time with a happy ending). Plus, it REALLY didn't hurt that Eric Schweig as Pike made the cutest anguished faces I'd ever seen.
While I'm hesitant to say that watching that movie for the fifteenth time changed my life, I guess in an indirect way it did. Just as Pike started running through the airport, I couldn't help but put myself in his place. Only, in my case, I hadn't had the balls to go chasing after that special someone. I hugged myself tightly and gritted my teeth in frustration. I had been handed a chance to make fantasy reality and I hadn't acted on it. Somehow my melancholy mood sparked a sudden fear that the movie would somehow warp on the DVD and change, ruining the happy ending. I knew that it didn't make any rational sense, but I reached out to the TV and pleaded with whatever movie gods there were to make sure that they got together like they were supposed to.
"Please... let him make it!"
Of course, he made it. Now if only I could do the same.
Realizing that it was almost time to pick Sarah up from work, I hopped off of my bed and turned off the TV. A quick swipe of the eyes, a brief check in the mirror and I was out the door, on my way to what I could only hope was destiny.
Sarah's Mojo ==========
"Hi baby!"
"Hey Sarah, hon. How's the Beast treating you tonight?"
"He's been holed up in the back most of the night. If you ask me, everyone's better off that way."
"Mmm... are you almost off of work? I'm lonely."
Sarah could hear the pout in her girlfriend's voice plain as day.
"I'm off in about 20 minutes, and I'm making my slave boy pick me up. Want to meet me at my place in say... 45 minutes?"
It was Sarah's turn to pout as her girlfriend started laughing.
"Hmmm... I know you think my place is too small, but you've never laughed at that suggestion before."
"Oh, no hon it's not that, I swear! You mentioning a "slave boy" made me laugh at something that happened at work today. I actually got to send my boss home! He was sitting there moping around about a guy and not getting anything done so I told him to go home."
"Well, slave boy was raving about some stupid guy that came in to the store this morning and left his license behind. And, as usual, he chickened out when I thought of the perfect plan to hook them up. I'll have to bug him about it when he gets here."
"Ok, at least tell me that it wasn't another in his long line of losers. I'm tired of hearing that boy complain about everyone he dates."
"Well, I didn't actually meet the guy, but judging by his license photo he's pretty cute. He's got blond hair and green eyes, and unless he's lying on his license he's in pretty good shape."
Sarah popped out the license again and glanced at it.
"He's got a funny name though..."
Sarah was interrupted by Sunny chiming in.
"Honey, that license... the name on it is Terryn, isn't it?"
"Uhh... yeah... how... how did you know that?"
Sunny roared with laughter.
"You know how I sent TJ home? When I walked into his office, he had been doodling some initials all over his blotter. The fact that those initials were "E.K" couldn't have been a coincidence. I call him TJ to piss him off, but his full name is Terryn James Hunter. You do realize what this means, don't you?"
Sarah could feel the wheels grinding away in her head. A smug smile crossed her face.
"I know exactly what this means... it means I might get to be evil."
Erik Chickens Out =============
Though I left the house at a full-out balls-to-the-wall gonna-go-get-me-a- boyfriend run, I quickly settled into a methodical let's-try-to-keep-myself-alive walk. Smoking doesn't exactly promote a healthy lung capacity. As I walked down the street, my natural instinct for self deprecation walked along with me. No matter how hard I tried to be optimistic I kept wondering if this "brilliant" plan of Sarah's was such a great idea. While I couldn't completely dismiss the idea that running into Terryn after all this time was fortuitous, I also couldn't let the brief stab of courage that had overcome me while watching the movie rule without a fight.
What if he had already gotten his license?
What if he called the cops thinking I was a stalker?
Why hadn't I learned already that talking to myself solved nothing?
As I neared the coffee shop I reflexively searched the parking lot of the office buildings. Much like all of the other cars in the lot his was nowhere to be seen. I pushed the crosswalk button and leaned my head against the lamppost. My breathing was shallow and raspy even though I was nowhere near him. Finding myself with the knowledge that he wasn't there was enough to freak me out. The light changed and I trudged across the street.
I slipped inside the coffee shop just before it was time to close up for the night. I scowled at the "cleaning" job that the Beast was doing on the floor, knowing full well that I would be the one to do it right in the morning. He glared at me after I had the audacity to step right in a spot that he had theoretically already mopped. I flipped him off and wandered into the back of the store. Apparently my lack of respect for him was his cue to leave.
Sarah was just about to topple a huge stack of cups when I reached out a hand to steady them. I peeked my head around the cups and Sarah let out a sigh of relief.
"I thought you were the Beast!"
"Well, luckily for you I'm not. You almost done?"
"Yeah, I just have to stock these cups and clean the counters and then we can go."
"Sar-bear..."
"What?"
"Nothing."
Sarah glared at me as she stacked the cups in their respective spots.
"Your fantasy man came in earlier..."
I couldn't help the crestfallen look that passed over my face. All of my worrying and wondering had been in vain. I grabbed the cleaning towel and started furiously scrubbing the countertop. Suddenly, the only thing on my mind was getting the hell out of there and going to sleep.
"Fuck it! I'll do it in the morning... let's go."
I made it halfway to the door before I realize that all of the lights were still on. I flipped the master switch and waited impatiently for Sarah to leave.
"You should have seen how hot he looked in that uniform."
Uniform? What the fuck?
"You know, if you weren't so hung up on this Terryn guy you could definitely get with Dave no problem."
Dave was the UPS guy that did the deliveries for our store. We'd engaged in some casual flirting in the past, but never really made it past that stage. He was definitely cute, but he didn't quite do it for me. I slumped against the doorframe and locked the door. Sarah had an impish grin on her face, but I wasn't really in the mood for being silly. She poked me in the stomach and held Terryn's license in front of my face.
"So are you going to go, or what?"
I took the license and ran my thumb over Terryn's picture. I hadn't noticed the first time I looked, but in his picture he looked almost forlorn. I sighed and put his license in my sweatshirt pocket.
I was silent during the short walk to my car. I unlocked the car, let Sarah in and took the license out again. I leaned against the car and ran my fingers through my hair. I took a deep breath and hopped in, twirling the plastic between my fingertips.
"Are you happy? We're going."
Sarah let out a giddy little giggle and clapped her hands.
"I knew I'd win!"
"Shut up, bitch."
I pretended to stay mad at her, but deep down I knew she was trying to do good in her own little twisted way. I pulled up in front of Terryn's apartment complex and found a parking spot near his car. I sighed again and squirmed in my seat.
"What the hell am I going to say to him?"
"I don't know! How about 'hey, you dropped this at my store this morning'?"
"Bahh... you know me, I'm no good at the talking thing. ESPECIALLY not with guys that are that hot. Remember what happened with that guy at our rehearsal that one time?"
"Erik, you'll be FINE. Now just go before I go up there for you. And make it snappy, I've got a hot date tonight."
"Yes, your majesty!"
I got out of the car and gave Sarah a hugely theatrical bow. As usual, she had done something that temporarily took my mind off of my own issues and made me think of hers. What a controlling, manipulative, conniving and wonderful bitch she was!
Oddly enough, walking through the apartment complex gave me the motivation to keep walking. As weird as I felt showing up at Terryn's house unannounced, the urge to not look like a creepy stalker wandering around the complex made me walk even faster. I didn't hesitate until I was actually standing at Terryn's door.
"Well, here goes nothing."
I nervously knocked on the door. I started to feel silly standing there without any response, so I knocked once again. As I knocked, I felt something bump against my leg. I let out an involuntary yelp and turned to see what had caused it. I looked down and saw a cat staring at me intently. As soon as I looked down, the cat turned over and waved its paws in the air. I bent over and scratched the cat's stomach and was rewarded with a loud purr. While I was busy with the cat, I heard the door open behind me. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Terryn standing there with a wide-eyed look. It was the first time I had ever seen him with his hair unbound, and it took my breath away. There was just something so innocent in his face framed by his obviously just-washed hair. He was standing in the doorway wearing a battered terrycloth robe, and was clutching a book in his hands. I stood up and nervously wiped my palms on my jeans.
"What... what are you doing here?"
Even when nervous, Terryn's voice rumbled forth. For such a timid person his voice almost seemed out of character. He wasn't loud, he wasn't brash, but his baritone voice just seemed to flow from his lips with amazingly sensual undertones.
"Uhhh... hi. I stopped by to bring you this."
I reached into my pocket, pulled out his license and handed it to him.
"You dropped it this morning when your wallet went flying."
I smiled, trying to put him at ease. At my mention of his wallet I noticed a furious blush creep over his face. He dipped his head forward and the two sections of his hair above his eyes fell forward, partially covering his face.
"Th... thanks."
"No problem. I live nearby anyway, and I'd hate to see you get pulled over without your license."
I didn't think that it was possible, but Terryn blushed even harder at that comment.
"I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Erik, nice to meet you."
I stuck my hand out. Terryn shook my hand and held contact for just longer than necessary. I felt my heart begin to pound as I stared into eyes the color of summer grass.
"Hang on a sec. Let me give you a reward or something."
Before I could open my mouth to turn him down he had already yanked his hand from mine. He spun on his heel and started walking down the hallway. Once he had moved away, the strength in my knees gave out and I leaned against the doorjamb. I had to consciously work to slow my breathing as I watched him walk away. The few brief minutes of conversation comprised the longest amount of time I had ever spent this close to him and it was a little overwhelming. I studied the way he moved as if I would never see him again. At first glance he seemed to have a feline grace to his movements, but the more I watched him the more it appeared that he moved as if he was holding back more forceful movements. It was an incredibly odd paradox, to say the least.
He frowned as he opened his wallet.
"Aw crap... I don't have any cash on me."
I held up my palms and smiled.
"Look, you really don't have to do anything. I'm glad I could help you out."
"Well, I'd really like to do SOMETHING..."
He started chewing on his lip again. I knew that he was nervous about something, but I didn't want to push him.
"I'll tell you what. If you're not doing anything on Thursday, you could come check out my band at The Stone."
I paused.
"In all fairness, there's an ulterior motive behind inviting you..."
"Really?"
My mind wanted to confess the true reasoning for wanting to see him again, but apparently my mouth had other ideas.
"Yeah, the band gets to keep the cover charge for everyone that comes. At least this way, you'll get to hear us and repay me for bringing that back to you."
I wanted to kick myself, but settled for a wink that I desperately hoped would make me look like less of a jackass.
"Oh..."
Just then, Terryn's phone rang.
"Hang on one sec, ok?"
Terryn ran for the phone.
"Oh, hi babe!"
It felt like someone had dumped a bucket of cold water over my head. Keep it cool, it might just be a friend.
"I know we haven't been able to spend much time together lately! Awww... come on, Jeff... don't be like that. Look, let me grab a change of clothes and I'll stay over there tonight."
My heart sank. Here I was, standing at the front door of a guy I barely knew, too nervous to ask him out and too scared to tell him how I really felt. Yet even though I had never said anything to him, it still felt like he was somehow being dishonest in not telling me that he was dating someone. My disappointment gave way to anger. I was angry at myself for being such a chicken shit all these years and angry at him for having the gall not to wait for me to come to my senses.
What a prick!
The longer I stood in his doorway, the angrier I got. Finally, I turned on my heel and walked away from the door. When I got to the gate in front of his house I heard him call my name. I waved goodbye over my shoulder and stalked back to the car.
================ Author's Note #3 ================
Inane Bit 'O Trivia #1:
The first chapter of this story was submitted on... you guessed it! Another rainy Monday. Though I started writing in June, it took a post-Christmas drizzle to actually get me to post the story. The chapters after this are going to be posted on a slightly slower schedule, as my company's holiday shut-down is almost over which means it's time to head back to the grind soon.
This story is dedicated to the perfect man in an imperfect situation... here's to hoping that the future brings better tidings.
Copyright 2004 by TehGenius. Comments and constructive criticism welcome at stories@tehgenius.com.