Another Chance

Disclaimer: This story is fiction. Some of the things that happened or will happen with Jim are inspired by bits and pieces of my life. The character of Joe was inspired by a very, very dear friend who I love with all my heart. Parts of both characters are fictional as well. All other characters were made up and any similarities are just coincidental. This is gay romance between teenage boys, there may be sex, but for the most part, it's about their true love of each other so if that offends you, please discontinue reading. Also, if it is illegal for you to read such material, you have been warned. Continual reading could cause a knock at your door. And you can always contact me at zarek@roadrunner.com mailto:zarek@roadrunner.com with suggestions or concerns. Thoughts and suggestion are always welcomed and may or may not be implemented. Concerns will be considered and addressed as much as possible.

I hope you're enjoying it so far and that the story draws you in wanting more. Some people have noticed that this story was "inspired" by another story, a great story, here on Nifty, "Riding Lessons" by Andrew Todd. I hope I don't step on anyone's toes and you give this story a chance. While there may be some similarities, I believe there will be enough differences as well. Mr. Todd was given my rough draft before I made my first submission. He was flattered by the fact I like his story and wanted to refer to it. He's also flattered by those who wrote him to "warn" him about this one. All I can say is, I'm glad you are loyal to him and I hope any references I use do his story justice. If you feel that I let his story down in any way, shape or form, please call my attention to where I did.

Unless someone expresses a concern over the longer chapters, I'll try to continue with them at this length. Still need someone to ask Dusty where I can go invest some stock in tissues...

AND, if you enjoy the stories on Nifty.org, please give a donation to help cover their expenses. While the site is currently free, only donations from loyal fans can help keep it that way. Any amount will help.

Another Chance

Chapter 26

For Joe, time was starting to fly now that he had reached the ripe old age of sixteen. Though his leg was in a cast, the month of March seemed to disappear quickly. Buster occupied much of his time when Joe wasn't at the ranch. He and Buster had discussed going on a date many times, but he wanted to not have his leg in a cast when they did. Buster tried to convince him that it didn't matter. Joe said he wanted to be able to dress special for him. While Buster didn't care what Joe wore, he loved him enough to always give in.

Now it was the Monday before Easter. Joe didn't go to school nor Heather to work so she could take him to the doctor. The cast was cut off, x-rays were taken, and Joe was told to take it easy for a couple weeks, but he wouldn't be getting another cast. Joe wanted to jump for joy but wasn't sure if that would be considered "taking it easy."

Knowing that they were expecting this to be his last cast, Joe had brought a pair of jeans to change into. He was given his privacy for this. When Joe slipped on his left boot, he had his "riding" boot as he couldn't find the modified one. His leg hurt a little when he took his first step without the cast, but the doctor warned him that would happen. He was advised to continue using his crutches for a few days until his leg becomes accustomed to supporting him again.

Heather asked Joe what he wanted for supper to celebrate his new found freedom. Joe told her and she stopped at the grocers to get what was needed. They got home to see Jim and Zac at the table doing homework. "Have either of you seen my other boot?" Joe asked.

"Yea, it's in my room. I slept with it while you were in the hospital," Jim admitted, "and just never put it in your room once you got out."

Jim ran upstairs and grabbed the boot. He handed it to Joe and congratulated him on getting his cast off. Joe thanked him and sat on the couch to change boots. When he stood up, he expected the modified boot to throw him off a little. "I thought the doctor said that he stretched my leg a little?" Joe remarked.

"He did. After the surgery, I asked the doctor how much more length you would receive in that leg. I asked Mr. Cobblestone to make adjustments to the boot for you," Jim said smiling.

"Thanks, Jim. You're the best younger brother a guy could have." Joe chuckled.

"Hey! You're not even two months older than me. I might have to tickle you if you call me younger again," Jim teased.

"OK, you're the best brother that a guy can have," Joe said with a sly smile.

"I disagree, I think my brother is better," Jim smiled back at Joe.

"Hey! I'm trying to do homework. And if you keep getting so mushy, I might get jealous," Zac stated. Jim winked at Joe and nodded toward Zac.

"I'm sorry Zac, I'll show you just as much attention," Joe teased.

Zac stood up acting like he was annoyed. He turned towards Joe and put both arms around him. Then he dipped Joe and kissed him full on the lips slipping tongue into his mouth. After a minute, he pulled Joe back upright. "Now, either let me get my homework done or I may have to do that to both of you."

Heather was laughing at the shenanigans of the boys, especially when they continued pestering Zac after that kiss. She thought, Zac should have never said that. Jim was being at his worst. He began sucking on Zac's left ear while Joe following suit sucked on his right. Zac couldn't help but crack up. After he kissed Joe one more time, he turned towards Jim and gave him a really long kiss. Then all three boys settled down to knock out their homework. "How can anyone be so fortunate to have all three of these boys in her life?" Heather thought.

Heather moved to the kitchen to prepare supper. Since Jim doesn't share his Algebra class with Joe, he finished that homework first and had just completed it when Heather and Joe had gotten home. Their homework was almost finished when Jim started sniffing the air. "Is that tilapia?" Jim asked.

Heather brought out some soft tortilla shells and set them on the table. Jim gave the tortillas a funny look. Next, his mom brought out some lettuce and tomatoes. "Are we having tacos? I swear that smells like tilapia cooking," Jim stated.

"It's some kind of fish, that's for sure," Zac agreed.

"Clear the books off the table. If you're not done, you can finish after supper," Heather said as she placed sour cream and shredded cheese on the table. Once the books were cleared off, Heather brought out the fish. "I asked Joe what he wanted to celebrate getting his cast off and he said fish tacos, so here we are." Everyone grabbed a tortilla and started filling it. Joe took a bite and thought he was in heaven.

In school, everyone congratulated Joe for getting his cast off. Joe was feeling like the most popular kid in the class. Buster looked at him, "I thought about stopping by last night, but didn't know how you would feel."

"You're always welcome to stop by the house, you should know that," Joe said.

"OH, I do. I mean, I didn't know if you would've been tired from all the excitement from getting your cast off," Buster explained.

"You're so sweet to care, but you could have stopped. I was hoping you would," Joe stated.

"In that case, now that your cast is history, would you be willing to go on a date this Friday?" Buster asked.

"I don't know," Joe started. Buster looked down. "I'm trying to make plans with this really attractive guy who kissed me on my birthday."

"He's right here, baby," Buster said smiling, "and he's willing to take you any place you want to go."

"Well, that's easy, only place I want to go is wherever he is," Joe told him.

Buster grinned. "I'll pick you up at seven, and wear something nice, casual but nice."

"Planning to wear the shirt you gave me, will that work?" Joe asked.

"I would love to see you in it. Nice pair of black jeans would go great with it," Buster suggested.

"Exactly what I was thinking." Joe wanted to kiss Buster, but he knew that the school frowns on any public displays of affection while on school grounds. "Going to the ranch after school, but I'd love for you to join me. We can go riding out to the lake."

"I guess today will be our first official date then. I'd love to join you," Buster said. Joe could see in Buster's eyes that he wanted to kiss also.

Bell rang and Mr. Blair came into the homeroom. He looked at Joe and Buster and smiled. They quickly took their seats.

At lunch, Jim was talking to Dusty and Cheyenne, "Either of you know Colt Browning?"

"Yea, he's a year behind us. He was in our martial art class right before you joined. His mom yelled, I mean literally yelled at Sensei demanding that he provide transportation when we go to our meets. Sensei told them both to leave," Dusty informed Jim.

"I heard that. He was also on the swim team and his mom did the same thing. I heard that he's not allowed having friends at the house or anything. Last time he did have someone over, they said that his room was Spartan. He has a twin mattress on the floor, no frame, a dresser and a closet. That is it," Cheyenne said emphasizing the "is." "Why do you ask?"

Jim spoke quietly so that no one else could hear, "Just between us, Jackson and the rest of us think he's being abused. It's not physical abuse so it's not so easy to prove."

"Can I talk to my dad about this? He may have some insight or be able to help," Dusty suggested. Jim thought that might be a good idea.

Zac, Joe and Buster joined the group. "So Buster, I hear that you are going on a date with my brother this afternoon," Jim gave him a serious look.

"Yea, he asked me to go riding with him. I've never been on a horse before, so it might be fun."

"Well, Joe is a good rider, so you're in good hands. We'll be starting riding lessons on the weekend as of next week if you are interested. Jackson is planning on Jim, Joe and a couple more hands giving the lessons if you are interested. I can arrange for your teddy bear to be your instructor." Zac suggested.

"I'd have to ask my mom, but do I get to cuddle with the instructor after class?" Buster asked while smiling at Joe.

"We might be able to arrange that," Joe said giving him a wink. Rest of the group laughed.

As everyone finished eating and started to get up, Zac reminded them, "After Easter, Jackson is starting a week long anniversary celebration. Cost to go riding will be cut in half all week. Jim, Joe and I will be there every day, and I hope to see everyone stop by at least once." They all agreed that they would.

After school, Jim told Joe that he and Zac were heading to the ranch and would get two horses ready for him and Buster. Joe stayed to ride with his boyfriend. He saw Colt walking toward the bus, "Hey Colt, what's up?"

"No time to talk. If I miss the bus, I'll have to stay in my room except for school and meals for a month," Colt told him as he ran quickly to the bus. Joe thought Colt looked like he had been crying.

Buster came out and saw Joe standing waiting for him. "We have to wait for my mom to show up. I kind of expected you to head for the ranch with Jim and Zac, but I'm glad you waited."

The boys saw Mrs. Jones pulling up and walked to the car. "Mom, hope you don't mind, but Joe invited me to go riding with him," Buster said getting in the backseat with Joe.

"I don't recall you ever being on a horse before," his mom stated.

"This will be my first time. Zac said that if I wanted, I could take lessons and Joe would be my instructor."

"Yeah, riding lessons are not much more than the cost of the horse rental, but that's included," Joe added.

"Well, I suppose if you're going to date a cowboy, you should learn to ride. You have to pay for it yourself, though," Mrs. Jones told them.

Mrs. Jones pulled in front of Jackson's house and the boys got out. She told them that she would be back in three hours to pick them up. Zac and Jim were walking towards them leading two horses. As much as he loves Jim and Zac, he is grateful that they are giving him and Buster this time alone.

Jim handed the reins of his horse to Joe. "We stopped and got a few things that we thought you might like out at the lake. They're in your saddlebag. We also asked Vince to have security stay clear of the lake so you two can be left alone."

"Thanks, Jim, that means a lot to me," Joe said.

"Well, you mean a lot to me."

Zac helped Buster mount his horse and gave him a few suggestions. His best suggestion was to listen to Joe as they rode. The two boys rode out to the lake and dismounted. Joe checked his saddle bags. In the left pouch, Joe found a large blanket. He handed that to Buster to lay on the ground. Checking the right pouch, he found a bag of chips, four sandwiches, and two bottles of water. "Guess they thought we might get hungry while we're out here," Joe said.

"Can we sit on the blanket and talk? Bring the chips," Buster requested.

Joe grabbed the chips and sandwiches along with the water. He tossed them onto the blanket and sat beside Buster, "What's up?"

"I hope that you know that I really love you," Buster began. "We've been seeing each other for over two months and this is our first date."

"Are you br... br... breaking up with me?" Joe gasped. He almost couldn't get the words out and was scared enough to be on the verge of tears.

"Hell no, I love you too much for that." Buster pulled Joe closer to him. Joe sighed as he heard these words. "It's just that some guys have sex on their first date. I'm hoping that you're not one of them, because I'm not ready for it."

"Neither am I," Joe admitted. Buster sighed this time.

"I want to wait, not necessarily until we are married or whatever it's called for two guys, but I want to wait," Buster stated.

"Jim advised me that we should wait until we are both ready. He said that we would know when the time was right," Joe said.

"I think he's right. I do want you to be my first, but until we are ready, I want to remain a virgin."

"I feel the same way. I want it to be special for both of us when it does happen," Joe leaned over towards Buster and kissed him.

After they parted, Buster looked at Joe, "Now that we both know where we stand, open the chips. I have the munchies." Joe tugged to open the chips and the bag practically exploded open. Chips went flying everywhere. Fortunately, only a few didn't land on the blanket. Buster and Joe started cracking up.

The boys went skinny-dipping in the lake for about half an hour. When they got out, Joe realized that they didn't bring any towels so they sat on the blanket to air dry and eat their sandwiches. When they were ready to head back to the stables, they got dressed. Joe shook the blanket to knock off any crumbs. He rolled it up and tied it to the back of his saddle while Buster put the trash in the saddlebag.

Jim and Zac were about to get in the truck when the boys got back to the corral. Jim smiled at them. "Don't need details, but did you enjoy yourselves?" Jim hollered.

Joe smiled and gave a thumbs up. "What time is it?" he asked.

"Almost five, why?" Jim responded.

"Crap, we have over an hour to wait for my mom," Buster said.

"You can call her, or I can give you a ride after you finish stabling the horses," Zac offered.

"Neither one of us has our phone. I think I left mine on the dining room table, this morning." Joe confessed.

"Want to use mine, or would you rather we just give you a ride?" Jim inquired.

"If you don't mind, my house isn't much out of your way," Buster replied.

Joe gave a funny look, "We won't all fit in the truck."

"No, one or both of you will need to ride in back."

Both boys said in unison, "We both will."

Zac and Jim got back out to help the boys groom the horses and put them in their stalls. They loaded into the truck and Buster gave Zac his address. Zac pulled up as Mrs. Jones was coming out of the house. She was surprised to see Buster and Joe jump out of the back of the truck. Joe walked Buster to the porch and kissed him. "See you in school tomorrow."

Joe climbed into the cab beside Jim and Zac headed home. "Seriously Bro, did you enjoy yourself?" Jim asked.

Joe smiled, "Yea, he scared me at first because he wanted to talk. I thought he was going to break up with me."

"That's crazy, dude. He wouldn't have asked you out for Friday night if he wanted to break up with you," Zac said.

"That's true, but he was so serious when we started talking. It scared me," Joe admitted.

"Unless it's personal, what did he want to talk about?" Jim asked.

"He was worried that I would want to have sex. He said that he loves me but isn't ready. I felt so relieved and I told him about our talk." Jim smiled and patted Joe on the knee.

Zac parked beside Heather's car. The boys walked into the house as Heather was putting supper on the table. As they ate, Jim shared what he had found out about Colt. He also talked about Dusty's suggestion.

As fast as March went for Joe, this week seemed to drag. It should've been the other way around since his leg was in a cast the whole month of March, but now he was anxious for Friday to get here. Being it was Good Friday, they only half a day of school.

Buster came to the door twenty minutes before seven. Joe was ready and getting nervous. He was shocked when Buster drove to McDonald's. "Hope you don't mind, but you did say that you wanted to go wherever I was," Buster smiled.

"And I mean it. Can I have a quarter pounder with cheese?" Joe said smiling. He really did mean it, but he never thought their second date would be at McDonald's.

"Anything you want, Baby. Would you like fries, or should we share an order?" Buster didn't seem serious, but Joe just smiled.

Joe sat at the table while Buster placed the order. When Buster came back, he told Joe that there was a problem with the order and one of the employees would bring the order over when it was ready. They talked while they waited.

A man in a button up shirt walked over to their table after about five minutes of waiting. "I'm the manager and I'm sorry, but we seem to have run out of quarter pounders. I was wondering if you would like something else."

"Are you serious? How could McDonald's run out of quarter pounders?" Joe was noticeably getting upset. He looked at Buster who was just smiling. Something definitely didn't feel right.

"I don't know how to answer that question? Would you like these meals instead?" the manager asked as a couple employees set down two plates of grilled trout with fries. Joe blinked his eyes a few times and Buster started cracking up.

"You got me good," Joe said smiling at Buster. "I can't believe you went to all this trouble. I will definitely remember this date for as long as I live."

"For you, nothing is too good. Tell me who else would ever consider taking you to McDonald's for grilled trout," Buster said as he put a fry in his mouth.

"How did you ever get the manager to do this?" Joe asked taking a bite of his trout.

"Friend of the family. I dropped the dinners off before I picked you up."

Joe snatched one of Buster's fries and Buster laughed. They made small talk and discovered a few more things they had in common. Buster told Joe that the first day he walked into homeroom, he felt like an angel had come into his life. That was what finally gave him the courage to come forward when he did.

"I'm glad that you did. Cheyenne seems really special, and you are really special."

"I'm glad you think so. I love you very much, Joseph Charles Walker." Buster got up and stood beside Joe. "Joe, I love that song that you sang to me at your party. I want to borrow its chorus and say that I cross my heart and promise to give all that I've got to give to make all your dreams come true. In all the world, you'll never find a love as true as mine."

"I love you, also, Buster. Our dreams, I hope that we help each other fulfill them." Joe stood up next to Buster. He looked up as Buster looked down. They wrapped their arms around each other and Buster leaned down a little to kiss Joe. The few patrons sitting inside clapped their hands.

With spring break starting the day after Easter, Another Chance was celebrating its one year anniversary. The actual anniversary was some weeks ago, but Jackson thought he would have better results if he waited. The boys would be at the ranch from eleven to five throughout the week to take groups of riders on the various trails. Their weekend would keep a normal schedule. As much as the boys wish they could stay together, Jackson had them team up with an adult hand. The boys would lead the groups, though, as they would come across as less intimidating, especially to the younger riders.

Food and drink vendors were set up between the parking area and the barns. Once the fee to rent a horse for an hour was paid, the rider was given four tickets. The green ticket was to be turned in when you received your mount. The three red ones could be used for food or drinks. In the arena, various hands were putting on shows. Some were doing rope tricks while others displayed their advanced riding skills.

Buster convinced his mom to come out to the ranch. "I don't know about this," Mrs. Jones kept saying as she parked the car.

"You'll have fun, Ma, I promise," Buster assured. "If you don't, I'll do whatever you decide."

"Clean your room?" Mrs. Jones threatened.

Buster winced a little. His room wasn't really messy, but was definitely cluttered. "Yea, I'll even figure out where to put everything so my room looks neater," Buster agreed. Mrs. Jones smiled.

Jackson gave a last minute talk to those taking the groups out. He reminded them that some riders may be novices. He also had them take apples in their saddle bags as treats for the horses.

Joe saw Buster approaching with his mom. They had their green tickets ready and headed towards him. Jim nudged Joe, "Want me to take them?"

Smiling at Jim, Joe said, "No, I'm good. I see Dusty and Cheyenne heading this way, too. I'm sure they'll want to be in your group. And isn't that Dr. Bear?"

Buster approached Joe and put his arms around him. "You look really hot today. Does the green ticket mean I get you as a guide?"

Joe laughed. "I'll be your guide, but not because of the green ticket. That gets you your mount. Hang onto it for now. Jackson wants us to take groups out and not just individuals. Once we have a couple more for our group, we'll go get your horses."

Dusty, Cheyenne and Dr. Bear approached Jim. "How are you doing, Jim?" Dr. Bear asked.

"Really good, I'm doing really good. Still have bouts where I miss Shadow and get depressed, but I deal with them."

"Well, you loved her very much, so that's to be expected. Dusty told me about this boy you are worried about. I would love to have a chance to meet him."

"I don't know how easy that will be. His mother has him on a tight leash right now," Jim looked down as he said it.

"Jim, isn't that him hugging Jackson from behind?" Dusty asked pointing in Jackson's direction.

Jim looked and sure enough, Colt came up behind and surprised Jackson with a hug. Dr. Bear headed over in that direction but stopped when a car followed by two deputies pulled up. He watched as Mrs. Browning got out of her car. "I knew I'd find your lazy sorry ass out here when you took off. Get in the car right now or I'll pull your pants down and whip that sorry ass in front of everybody. You good for nothing little bastard are grounded until after summer," she yelled at Colt. Then she turned towards Jackson, "As for you, perverted freak, I told you to stay away from my son."

"He came up behind me. I had nothing to do with it," Jackson said holding his hands up.

Before Mrs. Browning could start in again, one of the deputies approached Jackson. "Jackson Sprayberry, I really don't want to do this, but this is a restraining order. You are to remain no less than fifty yards away from the Browning Family. This includes their son, Colton Browning," he said as he handed the packet of papers to Jackson.

"FIFTY?" Mrs. Browning yelled. "I requested a hundred and you only put it as fifty? I want your name and badge number."

"Ma'am, his arms are not fifty yards long..." the deputy began.

"I don't care how long his arms are. I want that perverted bastard to stay as far away from my son as possible. I want you to change that to a hundred right now or I will have you fired," Mrs. Browning ranted at the deputy. Everyone could see the anger and frustration on Jackson's face as his first day of celebration was just tarnished, but he did his best to lighten the mood once Mrs. Browning sped out of the parking lot.

Dr. Bear turned towards Jim, "I would definitely say that boy is abused. What I just saw is abuse in itself. How old is the boy?"

"I believe he's fifteen," Jim responded.

"He's a grade behind us, Dad," Dusty added.

"I'll be back, I want to talk to that deputy before he leaves," Dr. Bear stated as he walked toward where the action just was.

"Hey, Homo!" Zac heard behind him. He turned to see his friends Matt and Gina.

"What's up Straight Boy?" Zac responded. Then he looked at Gina, "When you gonna dump his sorry ass and get a real man?"

Matt laughed. "I keep thinking of asking Jim the same thing. In fact, I think we're going to be in his group today."

"If you're trying to make me jealous, I'm not worried." Zac said.

"That would give me a full group and we can start as soon as Dr. Bear gets back."

"Then we can fill Joe's group and I'll catch whoever else decides to come." Zac stated.

Dr. Bear returned and Jim took his group to get their mounts before heading for one of the trails. As they were heading out, Joe saw Marilyn's car pull into the lot. "Zac, you mom's here," he announced.

"So is yours. She's getting out on the passenger side." Zac smiled.

Vince walked over to Zac. "I think I see someone who needs a special escort on the trails. Unless you mind, I think I'll take her in a group of one."

"So, how long until I start calling you dad?" Zac teased.

Vince smiled, "I wouldn't be upset if you started doing it now. I really like your mom and I don't think I could ask for a better son. I've only known your mom for three months, but I would like your permission to ask her to marry me."

Zac smiled. He really liked Vince and felt close to him. "Asking me was the easy part. My mom has been independent since my dad left. I know she likes you, a lot, but I don't know if she's ready to marry. I'd be honored to have you as my dad, but only if she accepts."

Vince pulled a ring out of his pocket and showed it to Zac. Zac's eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw the size of the diamond. Zac threw his arms around the man wanting to marry his mom. "Should I be jealous?" Marilyn asked as she approached.

"Ma'am, if you have no problem with it, I would like to take you on the trails as a group of one. It'll be just you and me," Vince asked.

Marilyn looked at her son. "You have my blessing, Mom," Zac stated hoping she got his real meaning when the time was right.

Heather looked around, "I guess Jim already has a group out?"

"Yea, he just left as you and Mom were pulling in. I don't think he even knows you're here," Zac told her.

"Well, that makes my decision easier. I was debating between Jim and Joe. Until now, I was still unsure."

"Thanks, Mom. I thought sure you'd want to ride with Jim, but you go out of your way to make me feel just as loved," Joe hugged Heather.

Heather put her arms around Joe. "Just because Jim is my biological son and you are adopted doesn't mean I love you any less. When I took you in, I fell in love with you as though I had given birth to you as well."

"I know, but with everything that has happened in my life, it really makes me emotional to hear it and feel it," Joe smiled.

Vince had taken Marilyn to a remote part of the ranch. The mountains loomed high into the heavens with a lone bald eagle flying overhead. "This is beautiful," Marilyn announced.

"Then this is the perfect spot. Marilyn, we've only known each other for a few months. In that time, you have made me very happy," Vince stated.

"As you have me. I must warn you that if you're proposing, I have to talk with..." Marilyn stopped her sentence. "Is that why Zac said I had his blessing?"

"I did ask him for permission," Vince said with a smile.

"If he approved, then the answer is yes. I love you so much, but I have to put Zac first," Marilyn had tears coming out of her eyes.

"I wouldn't want it any other way. I checked with him before I even asked you out, I feel he is that important." Vince pulled the ring out and placed it on her finger. "Marilyn Schoen, would you do me the honor of being my wife?"

"I'm glad I said yes before I saw how big this thing is," Marilyn chuckled. "You spent way too much on it."

"Nothing is too much when it comes to you," Vince said as he leaned over and kissed his fiancé.

The rest of the week went by without incident. The celebration was a big success and several people talked about taking riding lessons. The groups that the boys took on the trail were very generous with their tips. Joe was amazed at how much he made. He asked Heather if he could use it to open a bank account. He wanted to start saving towards getting a car. He wants to own a green jeep someday.

I have created a mailing list. If you would like to be added to it to be informed of new submission, please contact me at zarek@roadrunner.com mailto:zarek@roadrunner.com . For those that tried zarek@woh.rr.com mailto:zarek@woh.rr.com , I apologize. I had used this email for over 12 years, but it was discontinued 2 years ago. I still catch myself writing it occasionally.