Anonymity Nowhere By: DeadCaffeineJunkie & Keishi Chapter One
Steve didn't spare the horn in picking people up. He didn't have a problem with yelling out his car window either. "COME ON IKI!"
Iki Torrance- actually Dominic, but not as far as anyone he knew was concerned- was sitting outside Mrs. Weatherman's house having a quick cigarette while waiting for the car to come. He hadn't told her he was going out, which kinda rubbed his new ethic to be a 'good boy' up the wrong way, but right then he didn't care. He'd just found out (an overheard phone conversation and reading papers that he shouldn't have read confirmed it) that she was going to be sending him back to the care centre soon, in exchange for a seven year old girl.
He laughed at himself for being surprised. Being sixteen years old was a disadvantage. Being 5'3" was an advantage... they were always more sympathetic, more likely to want to give you a home if you were small for some reason... as if short people couldn't be just as obnoxious as tall people, if not more.
His electric sparky green eyes, odd that they were so vibrant but dark at the same time, were also an advantage, but the shortish, tuftlike wild black hair, and its randomly dyed in clumps of green let him down, as did his piercings, all visible except for the tongue.
He seemed to be composed of two sides, the advantages and disadvantages and he sometimes wondered if he would one day split into two, good and bad, like it would be that simple. Of course, on those days he also wondered why the sky. Not why anything, just why.
But yes, he didn't feel like he owed that woman in her house much right then, and couldn't think of anything he'd rather be doing than attending this slightly non-legal outside party. He'd dressed for it as well; tight, black jeans, ankle boots, and a white school shirt that was artfully disheveled and sleeveless (a product of ten minutes pulling at the sleeves and some help from a kitchen knife). He finished his fag, trod it out, then hopped off the wall and sauntered over to the car to let himself in, giving Gavin in shotgun a friendly hi-five.
He noticed a new face as he settled in his usual seat and gave the guy his usual friendly smile. "Hi." He beamed.
Alerio was bored. He'd been bored for a good while, but now it was starting to grate on his nerves. "Oi, Steve," he said, flicking the back of his recently-acquired friend's head from his perch behind him, "how much longer 'til we're there already?"
Steve just grinned at him from the rear-view mirror and said nothing. Alerio grumbled under his breath and folded his arms across his chest. Gavin, in the passenger seat, snickered.
Rubbing at his unruly, spiky black hair, Alerio contemplated the jellies on his wrists. They were a new addition to his wardrobe, one he was already reconsidering. He did that-- second-guess his wardrobe from time to time. Hell, he'd begun thinking he was gay based on that fact alone. Alerio snorted. A gay man who wasn't even interested in men. Now he knew he was delusional.
Tugging at his cat collar, he watched with low-lidded brown eyes as they pulled up to a quaint looking house on the edge of town. Alerio's dark eyebrows nearly shot into his hairline as he watched a small boy hop down from a low wall and walk toward them. 'Wow,' was all his mind gave back to him as he gaped, and he could barely respond when the boy suddenly smiled brightly at him and said hello.
"Uh, yeah, hi," he mumbled, turning his face to look out his window. He saw Steve give him a dark look out of his peripheral, but couldn't begin to care. Swallowing a sudden lump in his throat, he said nothing to no one the rest of the trip.
Iki was slightly wounded that the new guy didn't seem to like him, but couldn't find the spirit to make the effort right then. As the car pulled out, he leant his chin on the back of the chair in front, between the car door and the passenger seat, over Gavin's shoulder and giggled. "Helloooooo."
Gavin waved a hand at him. "Piss off."
Iki leant back chuckling. "Aw, you know you love me really." He pouted.
"Only when I'm drunk and desperate Ik." Gavin shot back.
Iki stuck his tongue out at him, rolled his window down, and then leant his head just out the car window for the rest of the journey.
A few hours later and Iki couldn't believe this. Steve had graciously gotten stone drunk and had to be driven back home. Conveniently, they'd left Iki to his own devices and now, well, here he was. On top of a hill on his own, at 3 AM, too drunk for his liking (he hated himself for that, every fucking time, why wasn't he more careful) and stranded.
He sat down where he was and hid his face in his cold hands.
Alerio hesitated, looking up at the strange boy with his head buried, away from him. Looking around he could find no one else he even vaguely knew, and thanks to Steve's loud mouth earlier, he at least knew the small boy's name. Shrugging off his usual indifference, he sat down next to the boy, Iki he remembered, and nudged his side. "Want a smoke?" He held out a pack of cigarettes.
Iki jumped. "What!" He eased a little bit when he saw his unknown friend from the car. "Cheers." He said, taking a proffered ciggy and reaching in his pocket for his lighter. "You g't strn'ded too huh?" He asked, in the lock-jawed way of everyone trying to hold a conversation and light a ciggy in their mouth at the same time.
Alerio shrugged, well versed in the speech of someone talking around a cigarette. He ran a hand through his hair, then scowled again at the jellies that kept snagging on it. With animosity borne from continual aggravation, he began ripping the offending bracelets off of his wrist. The soft, pliable plastic hadn't a chance against his ministrations. "Fucking hate these things," he muttered. His unlit cig hung from his mouth as he flung them away, flying through the night to land somewhere they could no longer see. Happy with his lack of adornment, he turned to Iki and stuck out his hand. "Alerio," he introduced himself curtly.
Iki took Alerio's hand with a massive grin. "Hey, nice to meet you. I'm Iki. But you prolly know that from the car ride right? How do you know Steve?" He asked, sounding perfectly sober. He loved that about his drunk self.
Alerio raised an eyebrow. He could have sworn he'd seen this kid knock more than a few back during the course of the night. His grip was firm, however, and his words comprehensible. Shrugging, he muttered, "Almost bowled into him on my board one day before cshool-- er, school." He grinned wryly, then tipped his head to light his cig.
Iki nodded, subtly watching the long curve of Alerio's throat. "Oh, so you skate, then?" He asked with interest, taking a drag quickly. He felt like he was sobering up, but knew he was only getting into his second wind before the booze really hit him. He'd better think about getting back home sometime soon...
Again, Alerio shrugged, then mentally cursed himself for acting like a broken, repeating robot. "Yeah... beats walking everywhere, ya know? I don't know a lot of tricks or anything..." Blowing out a stream of smoke, he turned to look at Iki-- and caught his gaze on his throat. Coloring instantly, Alerio stammered a little and looked away.
Iki cocked his head, curious, but not asking. "Oh right, I getcha" he said, pulling his knees up for an armrest while he took another toke. He leant his head on his crossed arms, looking at Alerio sideways, suddenly in a very melancholy mood. "So, why haven't I seen you before?" He asked his tone slightly more somber and quieter than before. It was a combination of the booze and their lonely intensely lonely surroundings he guessed.
Alerio waved the hand that held his cig out vaguely. "I dunno," he said. 'Oh good, real articulate, dumbass,' he mentally berated himself. "It's not like I've been lurking in any shadows," he said, then thought and added, "lately, anyway. I moved here not too long ago, though. Been about a month or so."
Iki nodded. "Yea, that would explain why." he agreed, before falling uncharacteristically silent; not that Alerio would know what was characteristic for him. He felt the drink now, a slightly swimmy head, as if his body was someone else's; he was just along for the ride. He was thinking that he'd also only been in his current house a month or so and how soon he would be expected to move out, and his drink numbed face didn't feel the warm tears dripping off the end of his nose, so he didn't realize he was crying. He just felt... sad. And lonely again. But didn't know that Alerio could see any of this...
Alerio gave Iki a strange look. "Your face is raining," he pointed out, swiping a streaming tear from Iki's cheek and holding it up so he could see the moisture.
"Hmm?" Iki looked up at Alerio's tear damp hand and wiped his own over his face. "Aww... feck." He grumbled, scrubbing at his face, but as fast as he tried to wipe them off they kept coming, until he just gave up and hid his head in his crossed arms, embarrassed and miserable all at once. "'m sorry," he mumbled. "Jest drunk, s'all," he said unconvincingly.
Alerio couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, I often cry when I'm drunk, too," he said sarcastically. Flicking the butt of his cig away, he lit another, inhaling deeply. The smoke streamed from his nostrils as he looked out over the debris-strewn hillside. "So which is it-- parents, school, significant other?"
Iki sobbed despite himself. Fuck, why the hell was he such a soggy drunk?? "Life dude, you know..." He hiccuped. But somehow that wasn't enough, and he needed to explain himself to Alerio... his only friend in the world... maybe they were soul mates! ... Damn his drunken mind was weird. "My foster lady's sending me back sometime soon, cause she's getting a little girl instead, and you know, sometimes I just want to be somewhere where they want me, or something..." He said this half articulately, still talking into his knees.
Alerio cocked his head to the side, leaning back on his hands, bringing himself closer to Iki's hunched form. All he had been able to catch was Iki mumbling about life, and something about being a foster kid. "You know, I only got half of that. You talk to your knees often?" He nudged Iki's side with his arm, his skin tingling where it brushed Iki's form. Unconsciously, he leaned over further.
Iki tried to shut up enough to listen to Alerio, feeling that he'd moved nearer, but when Alerio nudged him, he uncurled a little and re-curled back into Alerio's shoulder, now crying there instead. "I'm such an idiot though; I thought this one would actually keep me around."
Alerio stiffened immediately, but remained impassive. He hated being touched, unless he initiated it, and his mind was bit too far gone for him to remember if he'd initiated this contact or not. Pushing past the general anxiety of having another person in direct contact with him, he decided that Iki felt nice against him, warm.
He tried in vain to concentrate on Iki's words, but they fell past him quite soundly. Curling one arm around the boy, he let his hand fall to his waist in a silent gesture of comfort. His cigarette was snubbed out in the grass.
Iki was going to pull back, feeling Alerio tense against him, but when Alerio's arm came round him he couldn't find the will to move away. He just sat there for a bit, while his stomach began to cramp from being curled up for so long as he just cried for the fact that he was being moved again, unwanted again, and for old wounds that had never healed. He never cried about it when sober, and often did when he was drunk and feeling low. But even alcohol couldn't make him cry forever, and he eventually slowed down to the odd hiccup, then leant his head against Alerio's comfortingly real shoulder and sniffled. "'m so drunk." He complained in a tear-shredded voice.
Alerio barked out a laugh at Iki's words. His shirt was damp and warm from Iki's hot tears, his fingers running soothingly up and down the boy's sides. Iki reminded him starkly of his little sister whenever she fell down and hurt herself, and Alerio had automatically gone into big-brother-comfort mode. Unthinkingly, he let himself fall backwards, the hand he was using to support both their weight coming up and running absently over Iki's head, fingers combing through his hair. When he realized what he was doing, he froze.
Iki grinned waterily when he heard Alerio laugh, and had a disquieting feeling of the world twisting itself inside out when they fell backwards, which soon righted itself as fingers started petting his hair. When the movement stopped he made a little noise in protest, and shifted a bit. "Don' stop, feels nice..." he pouted.
Alerio sat up suddenly, not even caring that he was dumping Iki down on the ground. He ran his hands through his own hair, his mind crazily noting that it wasn't nearly as soft as Iki's, as he tried to calm himself. Bad memories began replaying across his vision, and he squinched his eyes shut tightly. "No," he ground out to himself, over and over. "No, no, no..."
Iki sat up from his dumped position, concern biting through his drunken fog. "What's the matter?" he asked, all concern. "Alerio, tell me what's wrong?" He said, feeling a bit panicky.
Iki's words didn't even register through Alerio's panic. His arms wrapped around himself, and he began rubbing his forearms, trying desperately to calm down. Flashes of his childhood were running through his head; times when he'd held his sister just like he'd held Iki moments before, flashes of her being ripped from his hands, his mother's open-handed slap across his face as she accused him of trying to turn his sister Maria against her, and how he was always doing things to spite her. He didn't realize it, but tears were squeezing out of the corners of his eyes, hot on his face. He gulped back a sob, his whispered "no's" dimming until they were barely audible.
Iki tentatively did what he'd do to anyone in this situation and hugged Alerio gently, whispering random nothing sounds to him to try and calm him down. He worried what exactly was wrong with his new friend, and hoped he hadn't done something to him by accident.
Alerio screamed, his voice ragged and edged with panic. He immediately began struggling in Iki's embrace, his fingers like claws as they tried desperately to free him from whatever it was that was trying to contain him.
"Shit!" Iki jumped back like a scalded cat, letting go of Alerio and giving him space, the fast movements making his head spin. "Alerio!" He called, trying to get his friend back with him.
Alerio snapped his head up at the sound of his name, reality coming back into sharp focus. He blinked up at Iki, his mind processing what had just occurred. Instantly, his cheeks colored darkly, his eyes large and apologetic. "Fuck, I'm sorry, Iki." He blew out a breath, his entire body shaking from the force of the memories. "I just... I don't like to be touched," he finished lamely.
"No, I'm sorry..." Iki apologized, coming a little nearer, but still not near enough to be close. "I shouldn't have just leant on you, I'm sorry. I can be a bit touchy feely sometimes... are you okay? That didn't seem like just not liking to be touched, that was a panic attack or something..." He chewed on his lip ring and played with his thumb ring at the same time.
Alerio's face darkened, and he turned away. "It's nothing alright?" The words came out sharper then he'd intended, and he bit his lip, contrite. "Let's just drop it okay?' he said a bit softer.
Iki had to sit down. Vertical + alcohol = not good feelings, so he just fell down where he was standing. Yep, the ground was definitely his non-spinning friend. "Sure mate." He said, not wanting Alerio to feel uncomfortable. He'd forgotten almost totally about his own crying jag. He lay back and looked up at the sky. "How the fuck are we gonna get home?" He wondered.
Alerio, subdued, sat next to Iki's sprawled body on the ground. "I don't know about you, but I wasn't planning on going home." Leaning back on one elbow, he positioned himself over Iki's head and pointed out across town. "See that neon sign over there? The red one with the three X's?"
Iki liked having Alerio this near to him, but didn't move to touch him again. He looked over. "Oh yea..."
"It's open 24 hours a day, and the guy who runs it is pretty cool. He closes one of the theatres and lets me crash whenever... uh, whenever I don't wanna go home." Alerio shifted his eyes, looked down at Iki, hiking an eyebrow. "Unless you got somewhere you need to be?"
Iki sighed heavily. "I should probably go back to Mrs. Weatherman's." He said glumly. "If she decides to call the care centre and tell them I've run off without telling her where and haven't come home there'll be all kinds of trouble." Worse because I've already got a record' he thought, the memory hanging over his head as it often did. But then he rethought with bold drunken misery and despair. "You know what? Fuck it. Fuck it and her and them. Whatever man, whatever. Let's go stay there then."
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The shop was tiny and cramped as Alerio lead Iki inside. The neon cast strange glows in the dirty one-way windows, racks upon racks of XXX-rated movies waiting patiently to be viewed. A few weird-looking guys leered at the pair as they passed, making their way to the counter in the back, but Alerio just ignored them and told Iki to do the same. Standing at the glassed-in counter was a weary-looking an, effeminate but with straggly-looking hair. He blinked once, twice at Alerio, then is face broke out into a white-toothed grin. "Well, just look what the cat dragged in! Been a while, little man."
Alerio grinned back, genuinely glad to see the other man. "Hey, Krueger. This is Iki."
Iki smiled at 'Krueger' and waved a little. "Hey." He said. He was feeling slightly ill and more than a little drunk from all the booze, but oddly felt better in here than he had outside.
"You okay, man?" Alerio looked at Iki, concerned.
Iki reached out and held himself up with one hand on the counter in front of him. He rubbed at his eyes. "Yea, just... a little too drunk..." He grinned weakly. "I'd a kept going but I ran out of booze when people started going home."
Alerio laughed, his voice soft. Krueger smirked at them both, looking pointedly at Alerio and raising an eyebrow. He reached over and handed him a key without anyone asking. "You know the rules. You make the mess, you clean it up." His eyes shifted mischievously to Iki and back. "Better not be any permanent stains I have to get out."
Alerio colored, but shook his head. "Nothing like that, man," he murmured, taking the key. He grabbed Iki's shoulder and steered him toward a small hallway.
Iki resisted leaning back into Alerio and let himself be moved. "Sry..." He said. "I didn't mean to get this bad..." He'd heard Krueger but hadn't applied any of it to him, and had totally missed the looks.
Opening a small door at the back of the hallway, Alerio shifted and let Iki in before him. The room was wide, and dark; a hetero porn played on the large screen at the front, and a series of seats were positioned in front of it, all empty. There was no one in the room, and the lock clicked loudly, echoing throughout.
Alerio led Iki toward the back, where a sofa was positioned against the back wall. He clicked a switch as he passed, and the lights came on, softly, the movie stopping automatically.
Iki winced as the sudden bright lights seared his eyes and into his head. He leant back against the wall and slid down it until he was crouching there, avoiding looking up into the light and just waiting to see what Alerio was going to do next. He'd be kicking himself in the morning.
Alerio watched Iki, amusement plain on his features. "No, no, not there," he admonished, picking Iki up by his armpits. "There's plenty of room for both of us on the couch." He began dragging Iki over.
Iki let Alerio drag him to the couch, where he promptly curled up in the corner near the arm, burying into the cushion back. "Light, bad..." He groaned.
Alerio laughed, collapsing next to him on the couch. "Okay, man," he gasped, leaning on Iki for a moment longer than necessary, his hand brushing Iki's shoulder softly.
Getting up, he dimmed the lighting until it was just a faint glow above their heads, movie lighting. Walking back toward the couch, he kicked off his shoes and curled on the other end, head resting on the arm.
"You're a lifesaver." Iki sighed in relief, uncurling slightly as the dimmed lights did away with the need for protection from the glare. After lying there for a while letting his head stop swirling he spoke to Alerio, poking and prodding at the sofa arm. "So, how'd you know that guy out front?"
"Hn? Oh," Alerio paused. "I don't like to spend a lot of time at home, but for a while when I was new here, I didn't have anywhere to go, so I roamed the streets. He was taking the garbage out one night, and asked me for a cigarette... kinda went from there." He shrugged, scratching at his temple with chipped-nail-polish fingers. "That's about it, really. Not like I blew him or anything," he laughed.
Iki shrugged. "Well, you know... not that I was suggesting you did." He said hurriedly. He noticed the marking on Alerio's hand. "Whassat?" He asked, pointing at it questioningly.
Alerio looked down at his hand, then rubbed the back of it against his pants as he looked away. "That? It's nothing..." He wouldn't look Iki in the eyes.
Iki wanted to know- he wasn't exactly known for his LACK of curiosity- but he didn't want to pry and have Alerio blow up at him and kick him out (not another person kicking me out, not tonight) so he held his tongue. He also wanted to ask why Alerio didn't want to go home, but again didn't want to pry. He fidgeted on the couch and then was caught off guard by a huge yawn.
Alerio grumbled under his breath as he continued rubbing his hand against his pants. He looked at it again, contemplating. Out of nowhere, he blurted out, "It's an M. It stands for Maria, my sister. That--that's her name." He sighed, glancing at Iki curled on the couch, and smiled softly. "I don't know why I'm telling you this. I don't even know you."
Iki jumped when Alerio suddenly spoke, but smiled genuinely at him when he told him about his sister, and the tattoo. You only noticed how fake his other smiles were when you saw the real one. "Probably 'cause I'm too drunk to remember in the morning." Iki said lightly, knowing that he wasn't THAT drunk. "That's cool though. That you gotta sister... It's nice that you gotta tat of her initial as well."
Alerio's smile slowly diminished as Iki's words filtered slowly into his brain. "No," he said softly, almost inaudibly. "It's not cool. I'm never around for her anymore." He squeezed his eyes shut, taking a deep breath to steady his nerves. "I--I used to be able to protect her. I can't anymore. I'm a fucking weakling who can't even keep his own fucking mother from abusing his sister."
Iki winced hearing that and sat a little nearer to Alerio. His instinct was to hug the other boy, but that hadn't gone down so well the first time, so he gingerly, apologetically, took the tattooed hand instead. "Hey... come on...at least you care about her. It's not like you didn't try." He said, feeling useless. What else could he say to that?
Alerio's face was hot, and he was unaware of the tears that had begun streaming down his cheeks. He was too unbalanced yet, the wounds still too raw. He heard Iki's voice, if not the words, comforting in its warm baritone. The touch of Iki's hand against his rough palm was soothing, calming, grounding, and Alerio unconsciously scooted closer, suddenly wanting the touch. He'd never been comforted as a child, and now reverted back to that state with Iki's body so near.
It hurt Iki to see Alerio crying and he cautiously moved one hand to rub Alerio's back soothingly, using the palm of his other hand to deftly wipe the tears away. "Hey... it's okay, come on..." He said, random nothings in a soft tone of voice.
Alerio watched Iki solemnly as he wiped his tears away, the palm of his hand faintly black with the last of Alerio's eyeliner. On a sudden impulse, he grabbed Iki's wrist, bringing his hand up to his mouth. With his eyes locked with Iki's, he quickly flicked out his tongue, licking the black off.
TBC.