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Sophomore spring 4
I'm on the plane sat with Peter, we're the only 2 on this early flight. We haven't spoken since he came outside last night. I walked away and avoided him the rest of the night.
He reaches over and takes my hand.
"Can we room together this week?" Peter asks.
"We might need to be more than 2 to a room." I say.
"But we get first pick." Peter says laughing.
"It's nice to see you smile, you've been so solemn." I say.
"Sorry. I've been a disaster around you recently. Coming on too strong or not talking at all." Peter says.
"I've missed being able to just talk to you." I say.
"Me too. Alexander if I wasn't with Aaron would there be hope for us?" Peter asks.
"If it would make you break up with Aaron I would take you back right now. However wrong I think I am for you, he is so much worse. I hate seeing you miserable." I say.
Peter squeezes my hand hard and kisses my cheek. He grabs my arms and wraps both of his around it and lies his head on my shoulder. I use my free arm to stroke his face. We stay wrapped together for the rest of the flight.
We get a cab to the house and meet with the agent to sort out the keys and be shown round. It's a really nice place with a kitsch kidney shaped pool. The inside is less impressive but it will suit us for the week.
"Let's take this room." Peter says. It's one of the smallest and has bunk beds in.
"Why?" I ask.
"It has a great view, no one else will want it because of the bunks and we can just move the mattresses on to the floor if we need to." Peter says.
"Sneaky." I say laughing.
"Did you really mean it before? That you'll take me back?" Peter asks.
"If it means you'll leave Aaron then yes." I say. I'm not sure what I'm doing. I know this is not the best thing for either of us but I hate seeing him how he is right now. If I can give him hope then I will.
Peter pulls me off my feet in a big hug. I kiss him as he lets me down.
"I guess you're not free yet." I say standing back.
"No, but soon, I promise. Let's go lie by the pool and wait for the others. I need to talk to some of you all together." Peter says.
We change into swim shorts and smother each other in sunscreen.
The others arrive in two groups and soon start grabbing rooms and meet us by the pool. Barley and Patrick have a car and offer to go and get supplies, we all toss them some money. Marc and Grey and their boyfriends decide to go for a walk to see what is nearby.
"Okay I really need to talk to you guys. Brian and Jamie this doesn't involve you but it's okay if you stay. Brian you need to promise not to feed back to Aaron." Peter says.
"Peter I was never going to say anything. I know what we agreed but I figured neither of us meant it. You and I are friends." Brian says.
"Thanks. I just needed to check. Let me just get Eric on facetime too." Peter says.
"Hey guys. Wow looks like its super sunny there. What's going on?" Eric says.
"Aaron has a recording of that first party we had. He threatened to upload it unless I agree to his demands but as usual they're getting way, way, out of hand. I don't care if it goes up but I know it would cause issues for Alexander. I hadn't thought about the rest of you but I realize now that it could be a problem for any of you, whether with family or future jobs." Peter says.
"First of all there are revenge porn laws now and second have you actually seen it? Because I don't believe it exists. I mean I was hyper vigilant about that sort of thing then, I mean I was in total hiding. If it does the recording will be shit, one view probably mostly obscured." I say.
"There's no way it happened. One of us would have noticed." Felix says.
"He never filmed us together. I don't think that was ever his thing." Eric says quietly.
"You all think he's just conned me?" Peter asks.
We all nod at him, except Brian.
"I don't think he has anything from then, not of all of you. If he did he'd have used it earlier. But he does have videos of Peter recently, I've seen them and they're pretty bad. You really wouldn't want your parents to see them." Brian says quietly.
"But surely Aaron is in them too." Jay says.
"No he isn't. He wears the camera. He could say it's anyone. He could say the other person is Alexander." Brian says.
"Why didn't you tell us?" I ask.
"I didn't know Peter didn't know." Brian says.
"Let's tell his Dad. Let's ask Blondie to delete anything on any devices he has with him and Peter and I can check anything still at their place, we can go home a day or 2 early if we have to. I know that doesn't help if he's stored it online somewhere." I say.
"I don't know if Blondie will help." Brian says.
"Let me talk to Mart and John. I'm sure they can come up with something." Jay says.
"You are all amazing." Peter says looking surprised.
"You could have fucking come to us. Any of us. Just because you and Alexander were on the outs doesn't mean the rest of us wouldn't have helped." Jamie says, angry.
"He's right, you might all right me off as a gossipy bitch but if anyone here has a problem I would be there. You shouldn't have waited so long." Felix says looking upset.
"He couldn't talk to any of you and I stupidly didn't realize what was going on. You guys all know how Aaron gets into guys heads and makes them paranoid. You all know what a mess Eric was when he finally chucked him. Aaron told Peter he couldn't spend time with any of you." Brian says quietly.
Peter is looking down at his feet. I want to fix him so badly.
"I am so sorry Peter. It took me too long to realize what was going on." Brian says.
"It's okay. You helped keep me sane by telling me what everyone was up to. I didn't tell you anything was wrong." Peter says.
Jay comes back from his call.
"Don't worry. They'll work it out. They are looking at legal options or buying the recordings. With Aaron in Paris there's nothing more we can do right now. Let's forget about it and have a fun week." Jay says as he bends to give Peter a hug.
Everyone else follows and Peter is soon buried under a pile of guys.
Barley and Patrick arrive back and we all help them unpack and start drinking. Everyone seems content to just hang by the pool for a while. The pool area is pretty great with loungers and umbrellas and some bigger daybeds.
Peter is in the pool so I get in too.
"I'm sorry for not pushing you harder. I knew something was up as soon as I saw you in class. I let my ego think it was because of me and Jay. I should have known better." I say.
"I still love you. I'm not Jay I wasn't waiting for you to rescue me, I was just trying to protect you and I knew you'd be mad at me for it and try and stop me. I thought I could handle it." Peter says.
"I'm not mad at you. I would never be mad at you for this. Are you going to move back in to the house next week?" I ask.
"Yes, I think going back a day or 2 early so we can get my stuff would be good." Peter says.
"Okay and then we get some alone time too." I say.
Peter grins at me and then jumps on to my back. We splash about with him clinging on and me trying to shake him off.
The couples all decide to go out for dinner and to find some entertainment, leaving myself, Peter, Jay and Brian behind. None of us feel like going out tonight.
"What's up Brian?" I ask as we lie by the pool.
"I think it's over with Blondie." He says.
"Because he chose Paris?" I ask.
"Yes but also this stuff with Aaron. I don't like that they are friends. And the Ray thing." Brian says.
"I thought you liked Ray." Jay says.
"I do, I like how things are, we see him every few weeks. But he'll be transferring closer next semester. He's got into the school Grey goes to. Blondie wants him to move in with us fulltime but I don't want that." Brain says.
"Sharing fulltime sucks." I say.
Peter and Jay laugh. "It's not just that. It's the money too. Blondie told Ray he could move in without paying rent and I'm not happy about that. I don't think my parents should subsidise two guys. Blondies scholarship covers room and board but he uses that to help pay for Ray's visits and I cover rent and food and just about everything else. When we're not paying for Ray to visit I don't see why costs wouldn't be split 3 ways but Blondie see's my parents money as I don't know, free money and not my contribution." Brian says.
"I can't really say anything as Alexander covers my rent. But I'd not move a boyfriend in without them paying something." Jay says.
"You worked for it last semester and John and Mart are covering your share now." I say.
"They are?" Jay asks.
"Yeah. They I saw them for dinner when they got back from their trip. I guess you guys were already cooking up the California move by then and they figured why wait. They already give you an allowance right?" I ask.
"Yeah, as long as I call every week." Jay laughs.
"What California move?" Peter asks.
"I'm transferring next semester. I think it's better for my career, now I'm not planning on law or anything" Jay says.
"Wow. I'll miss you. Does your Mom mind the guys being so involved?" Peter asks.
"No, we're not speaking I only hear about her through my grandparents. My Dad is talking to me again though, he is happy if I'm happy. My Grandparents are pleased I'm in college at all and are super proud of me. They want to meet the guys some time but I think they're relieved I've found a way to cover all my costs." Jay says.
"It was different with you and Alexander, it was Alexander's money and his choice. I just feel I'm being railroaded." Brian says.
"You'll have to say something. Either you all contribute equally or they fuck off." Peter says.
"You are welcome to stay at the house any time. We've missed having you around. The place is so empty without you and Peter and Jamie." I say.
"I feel a bit weird just coming in now. I've missed you guys." Brian says.
"Just come over for dinner or to watch movies. We really do miss you and I've only a few weeks left anyway." Jay says.
"Do you want to stay with Blondie or are you using Ray and the money as a get out?" I ask.
"Why do you ask that?" Brian says.
"You're here. You could have cancelled and stayed home and studied and enjoyed the quiet to recharge. I know you like to have time to yourself. But you're here to party. And your eyes don't light up any more when you talk about him." I say.
"I'm here because I wanted to do one typical college spring break. My class load isn't too bad this semester, I was looking forward to it and because we're here and not in a party hotel I can hide away for a few days quiet if I need to. And like I said I've missed you guys I thought it would be a good chance to catch up. I'm just sad Harry, Eric and Bobbie couldn't be here." Brian says.
"Good job avoiding." I say.
Brian grins.
"Yeah maybe I want to see what's out there. Just window shopping." Brian says.
"We can shop together." Says Jay.
Peter moves round a little and starts kissing my neck.
"So you two are back on." Jay says.
"No." I say.
"Yes." Says Peter at the same time.
"I agreed to try again if he dumps Aaron." I say.
Brian and Jay just grin at us.
Jay's phone rings, he speaks for a minute then passes it to Peter.
"What is it?" I ask Jay.
"It's Mart just checking Peter wants to engage the firm." Jay says.
I motion to Peter to pass me the phone when he's done, a few minutes later he does.
"Hey Mart, thanks for helping. Bill me for everything." I say.
"This one is on us. Sal has a bit of a plan, can you call her. She is going to leak the story that you are being blackmailed with videos from before you turned 18, to put everyone off from buying them if he tries to sell anything." Mart says.
I laugh and laugh.
"Thing is if he does post them people will think it's me." I say.
"Talk to Sal. It's good to hear from you Alexander." Mart says.
"And you. Thanks so much for helping Peter and what you're doing for Jay." I say.
"We love Jay and you both love Peter which makes him family to us too." Mart says.
I say my goodbyes and hand the phone to Jay and to my room to call Sal.
We talk through some options. I'm not too keen but agree to go along with whatever.
I lie down on the bunk for a minute. It's been a long day and the heat has taken it out of me a bit. I feel pathetic alone in my room on the first night. I decide to take a shower.
Feeling better I head back out to the pool grabbing a drink on the way. The couples soon return.
"We tried one gay bar after dinner but it was full of straight girls and we felt like zoo exhibits." Patrick says.
"But the barman told us where to go tomorrow. There's a big night on, should be great." Barley says.
"Sounds good." Jay says.
We sit talking and drinking in to the night. Gradually the couples all head off to bed leaving the four of us again.
"Everyone's getting some but us." Says Brian.
"You shouldn't even be looking." I say.
"I'm a free man this week." Brian says.
"Really?" Jay asks.
"Yeah my boyfriend is in Paris with Aaron, they will be fucking all week." Brian says.
"And that's another reason you're done with Blondie." I say.
"Yeah I'm done. Hope tomorrow is good, I'm horny as fuck." Brian says.
"Me too." I say.
"At least you can have Peter whenever." Brian says.
"Not until he's officially single." I say.
"I bet that lasts about another hour." Says Jay.
I get up and squeeze on to Brian's lounger.
"Maybe I'll take advantage of Brian's horniness." I say jokingly, kissing Brian's face all over.
"I guess it's you and me." Peter says to Jay and kisses him.
All my jealousy surfaces and I just have to get out of there. I know it's stupid and they're just joking around but it still hurts. I stand up and head to my room. I strip off and get into the top bunk, figuring Peter won't get in with me.
Somehow I push everything out of my head and sleep quickly.
Peter isn't in the room when I wake. I pull on some clothes and go for a run. It's early and the beach is deserted. I make an attempt to run along the sand but it kills my legs quickly. I've not been able to run or work out as much as I'd like since I've needed the time for study. I pull off my t-shirt and shoes and head into the water.
I swim for a good while. Clearing my head and enjoying the water. I shake myself off and jog back to the house. It is a beautiful day. I shower and dress and make coffee. No one is up yet and so I grab my school books and study by the pool.
Peter sneaks up on me, lies on my back and kisses my neck.
"Miss me?" He asks.
"Every day." I say turning my head to kiss him.
"I had to stay away last night, I'm sorry. But you are too tempting, I don't want to mess anything up. Jay told me how when you two tried again you were going different speeds. I don't want that for us." Peter says.
"Thanks. I don't know what we should do. It's not like we can just date, we never just dated. Do you want to live together again? Will we be exclusive? Open? Shall we take this week to go nuts apart then get back together when we go home?" I ask trying to voice everything running through my head.
"Wow you've been thinking a lot baby." Peter says kissing me more. I love how he feels lying on me.
"I'm scared. I don't think getting back with you is a good idea at all, of course I'm thinking a lot." I say.
"How can you be so affectionate one minute and say you don't want me the next?" Peter asks.
"I do want you, I always fucking want you, I want to spend every second with you. That has never been the issue. But I'm scared of being hurt again and so I'm going to be cautious. I know you're going through a lot right now and you don't need to be dealing with my shit on top. I don't know what the rush is, you're not even single yet." I say.
"I'm not going to hurt you again. Take your time baby, I won't push. Just like the first time round I'll be ready when you are." Peter says and hugs me close.
Thanks for reading. Hit me with comments at the email above or via mansambam.tumblr.com