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Alexander in the open 14. Please send any feedback to the email above or via mansambam.tumblr.com thanks for reading and the continued support.
Spending the night with Peter wasn't the best idea. But I sleep so well in his arms. We didn't do anything more than cuddling but it was so great. We're both kind of sore from sleeping on the floor in the morning. We shower together, kissing and touching. I run my hands everywhere wanting to remember everything, knowing this is a goodbye.
It is freezing and raining so we drive in together and take Brian and Eric too.
"When are you getting your car Brian?" Peter asks.
"Not until Thanksgiving, my parents are coming here and we'll buy it then." Brian says.
"Not long then, just feels like forever in this weather." I say.
"Yeah." Brian says.
At lunch I meet with Casey a little nervous, given I'm totally sober now but it goes pretty well. We find loads to talk about and arrange to go to a movie on Wednesday.
After school I move back into the house at home and help Peter move out.
"You'll be okay. You're strong." I say.
"I kind of don't feel it right now. 2 breakups in a month is exhausting." Peter sighs.
"Are you sure you want to be over here? Will you be okay alone?" I ask.
"Yeah I just don't want to be running into Jay all the time at the moment as he's so angry and being around when I'm not with you is hard too." Peter says.
"I understand. I'll try and give you some space other than class. But tomorrow we need to have a quick house meeting. Talk about this place and if we want Blondie and Felix moving in." I say.
"Okay. I'm good with whatever you decide. I like those guys now." Peter says.
"Call if you need me." I say.
I give him a long hug and leave him to settle in.
The next morning I'm in the kitchen getting coffee with Jamie and Felix walks in, in his underwear and kisses Jamie good morning, grabbing his ass.
"Uh you two have news?" I ask, totally shocked.
Jamie blushes a deep red and grabs Felix hand.
"Really, when, how, what about Grey? Felix is who you had your eye on?" I stutter.
"When Felix kissed me on Friday it was different. I felt something. I thought I was just drunk. Then after the party on Saturday Felix came up here to get some water and I was doing the same." Begins Jamie.
"And we kissed again and it was amazing. I've always been a bit in love with Jamie but thought it was hopeless. He's straight you know and never been curious, I mean I offered enough. You offered too." Felix says laughing.
"I am straight. I just happen to love Felix. It's not like I'm suddenly attracted to guys and not girls. I just love Felix." Jamie says quietly, smiling at his new love.
"I finished with Grey Sunday morning. Jamie and I have been together ever since. It's crazy but feels amazing." Felix says.
"For real? You kissed and there were fireworks and flowers and now you're in love? It's so fast." I say not sure if I should be happy for them or concerned.
"Kissing Jamie feels like nothing before and making love is out of this world. For both of us." Felix says.
"We just feel what we feel. I'm really happy, don't worry about us." Jamie says. I hug them both close.
"I'm delighted for you. Both of you. Though obviously jealous that Felix managed what I couldn't." I say.
"Silly you know I love you like a brother. I thought that was what I felt for Felix too but it was more. So much more. I love this man so much." Jamie says dropping from our hug to kiss Felix.
I head to school happy for them, a little concerned but mostly happy.
That evening we all gather to talk about rooms and the apartment.
"I'll be honest Jamie now you and Felix are together I'm more concerned about him moving in. Its way soon to move in together even if you lived together before. Also it's not fair on Jay having another ex living here. I don't know how everyone else feels." I say.
"I didn't want to say, but I'm not comfortable. I'm really sorry. I think you're so cute together but Felix can turn so fast." Jay says.
"Yeah, we were kind of expecting it. We just want to live closer to each other. I'm looking to go back to the dorms next semester. I'll miss you guys but I miss him now." Jamie says.
I feel pretty shit that Jamie might leave but I don't think any of us can live with Felix in a bad mood.
"So Brian I'm okay with you taking the apartment. But the furnishings are a week or so away and Peter is living there for now. He can stay as long as he needs to. When he's ready to come back it's yours. Unless anyone minds Blondie living next door?" I ask.
No one does.
"So everyone has their own room. Peter and Jay are you okay being next to each other?" I ask.
"Yeah we'll be okay soon." Jay says his anger seems to have gone.
The guys all head off to do their own thing leaving me and Jay alone.
"Time for a chat?" I ask.
"Yeah, I was waiting to talk to you." Jay says.
"Are you doing okay? 2 breakups in a short amount of time can't be easy." I say.
"I'm okay, I knew this one was coming and I was prepared. I'm more unhappy that we're not friends Alexander it's eating me up. I know I've been shitty. Is there anything we can do?" Jay asks.
"You know me, I always forgive you eventually. Now you're not with Peter all my anger is gone. I really miss being friends and hope we can be again." I say.
"We have something really special. We need to remember that it can bring out the worst in us when it goes wrong." Jay says.
"I know. One day, one day we'll get it right. Maybe when we're 45." I say.
"Oh yeah, I should realise you're going to be my third husband not first." Jay says.
"Sounds great to me. I'm sorry it didn't work out this time, I'm sorry my jealousy went off the charts." I say.
"I'm sorry for playing games and for being so mean. I love you and not being with you when we were together was torture for me too. I was just so stupid. When we were talking before I joined you I thought you and Peter were near to the end, you told me you'd been thinking of us. We were sharing a lot of moments. Then when I joined you I saw how strong you and Peter were and I was shocked. Even though you'd been together ages I guess I still thought I was the one closest to you and I just couldn't handle that I wasn't." Jay admits.
"And you had money worries and were recovering from Mike and the fallout from Blair. You were not in the right place to be in a relationship and Peter and I were wrong to try and use you as a quick fix." I say.
"Yeah we messed up big time. But we're going to be okay now." Jay says.
"We are and that includes me helping you out. I'm sorry for being a dick I was just so mad at you." I say.
"You don't have to." Jay says.
"It's an advance if you'll be my assistant over winter break, out on set over break, then from here for the final few weeks. I'll pay for your groceries and give you some cash each week so it doesn't touch your account. Then pay you what Eric was on minus those deductions during the movie. Obviously you can have Christmas with your Mom. I'll cover flights and I'm sure Mart and John will be happy to have you." I say.
"Are you sure you trust me enough?" Jay asks.
"Yeah I am. You did an amazing job with Blair and helped me so much; that is why I fell for you all over again. Do we have a deal?" I ask. "I need to check with Mart and John first. If they say yes then absolutely yes. I'd love to." Jay says "Want to go make up properly? Unless you feel that's what I'm paying you for." I say grinning. "What about your new guy?" Jay asks.
"It's not serious." I say. I know Casey doesn't want casual but it's not anything more yet.
My feelings for Jay are difficult to control, almost always at the extremes. I did fall back in love with him this summer and he with me. We tried to hide it, to avoid it but we both knew it was there. Then we started our ill-fated trio and I hated him. He knew it and tried to hurt me at every opportunity. Now with no Peter to make me feel guilty I really want to see what's there.
"This is a onetime thing right? No promises, no regrets." Jay says.
"Sounds right, if that is okay with you?" I say.
"Oh yeah. Please." Jay says and kisses me.
"Your place or mine?" I say dragging him upstairs.
It's almost like the first time. We're both so hot for each other. We know it's one last time.
I lie him down on my bed and kiss him like crazy, I just can't stop. I always loved kissing Jay and as he rolls on top of me and pulls at my lip with his teeth I groan in happiness. He's straddling me and grinding against me. We're still fully clothed but it's so hot.
"You are so hot." I say reaching to pull off his t-shirt.
I keep moving forward so he's on his back under me and I lick and nibble at his nipples and chest. I kiss down his belly and unbutton his fly. He's tugging at my top so I sit up a moment and pull it off before diving back down to his crotch.
I suck on him bobbing up and down and enjoying all of him.
"You too." Jay says. We stop a moment pull off the rest of our clothes and lie down to sixty-nine.
We roll so Jay is on top again and I move him so his ass is in my face and being to lick at his pretty hole.
"Oh that's good, that's good." Jay mumbles.
I lift him and throw him back on his back for more kissing he's so skinny and easy to move. I love having him on my big bed.
My arms are wrapped around his head, I want our lips together for always.
"Fuck me, please, fuck me now." Jay groans and he pulls his lips back from mine.
"You want me?" I tease.
"Always." Jay murmurs.
Pushing him onto his back I enter him slowly and enjoy a long slow fuck, kissing him the whole time. It is so good. So good. He's so loud, clinging to me and moaning for more, harder, deeper, he wants all of me. He feels amazing.
"You like that?" I ask.
"Oh yeah, love it, oh, oh, oh so great." Jay pants.
Fuck he feels amazing. I watch as his load covers his body before pulling out and adding mine, he pushes my hand from my cock and pumps me good, making himself a total mess.
We lie together, I don't know how I feel. I wish we'd done this weeks ago. Too late now. My feelings are all over the place, for Jay, Peter, Casey. Why can't I just let things go and move on cleanly? Why do Jay and Peter always linger?
"You okay?" I ask Jay.
"Yeah. No. I'm really mad at myself for missing out. We totally wasted the opportunity to be together." Jay says.
"We suck." I say.
"Yeah, very, very well." Jay says and kisses me.
"Want to sleep over?" I ask.
"I wasn't planning on leaving." Jay says and we snuggle up together.
He's gone in the morning and that's okay. I have a date tonight. I'm ready to put Jay and Peter firmly in the past.
That evening I meet up with Casey and we head to the movie theater. He's really sweet and funny.
We have a good time together. I drive him home and we make out in the car. It's silly and fun.
"Are you coming in?" Casey asks.
"Not tonight. If that's okay? Leave you wanting more." I grin.
"Okay. I've got a lot of study to do anyway. Can we go out Friday?" Casey asks.
"Yeah, how about we go to Eric's club with the guys? You could stay the weekend so we get alone time?" I suggest.
"I'm not really a club kind of guy but I'll try. If we can leave if I hate it?" Casey asks.
"Of course. But I love to dance and you've got a hot body so I'll need to see some moves." I say grinning.
"We'll see." Casey says kissing me goodnight.
I drive home happy.
Peters light is on so I head up to his apartment.
"Sorry I suck at giving you space." I say.
"Come in. It's lonely here. I don't need any more space from you. I need my best friend back." Peter says.
"That's how I feel too. I feel so weird on days I don't see you." I say.
"How was your date?" Peter asks.
"Good. How did you know I had a date?" I ask.
"Felix said at dinner." Peter says.
"Ahh. What do you think of him and Jamie?" I ask.
"I'm totally mind blown at Jamie. Never, ever, expected that. But they are happy so far." Peter says.
"I made up with Jay. I hope that's okay with you." I say.
"Yeah I hate that I broke up your friendship." Peter says.
"Oh it wasn't your fault, it was all us. I can't communicate with Jay when in a relationship the way I can with you." I say.
"I didn't help." Peter says.
"Please stop blaming yourself for everything. We were all at fault for things not working. I've forgiven both of you. Forgive yourself." I say.
"I'm trying. I really am." Peter says.
"Come to the club Friday yeah. I'm asking everyone. Cheer you up looking at hot sweaty guys." I say.
"Okay." Peter says without much enthusiasm.
I give him a big hug and let him hold me longer than I should before heading back to my room.
Friday everyone meets at our house to get ready and drink. We've got a table sorted in the club so head straight in.
Casey isn't happy. I can tell straight away he's not keen on the crowds or the music.
"Really not your thing?" I ask.
"No, I'm sorry. I hate it." Casey says.
"Can we stay like half an hour? Come dance with me?" I ask.
"Do you mind if I watch? I'll stay a little while, I want to see Eric do his thing." Casey says.
"Okay. Do you mind if I dance with Peter?" I ask.
"No, no jealousy here. You'll look hot." Casey says. I grab Peter by the hand and we head off to dance. I love dancing with Peter, we soon lose our shirts and as usual he looks incredible. After a while I reluctantly return to Casey.
"You really looked hot out there." Casey says kissing me.
"Thanks. I had fun. Did you see Eric?" I ask.
"Yeah he just finished a set." Casey says.
"You still want to leave?" I ask.
"Please." Casey says.
We head back to mine
"So we have the place to ourselves." I say.
Casey stands on tip toes to kiss me and I still have to reach down a long way. Much easier lying down so we head up to my bed.
He's so quiet in bed compared to Jay, not silent, he talks and moans just quietly. I kind of like it, he's really sexy. He's so small but muscular, I love licking every muscle and watching all the new reactions. It is so good to be with someone new. Someone who is in to me.
We spend the weekend together mostly in my room, sleeping, studying, fucking.
It's great we fit well together and I feel so happy and comfortable.
On Sunday before Casey leaves for work I decide to bring it up.
"How do you think we're doing?" I ask.
"Good. I really like you. I'd like us to be exclusive." Casey says.
"Already?" I ask.
"Yes. Are you seeing anyone else?" Casey asks.
"No, I'm not" I say, I mean I'm not going to be with Peter or Jay again now, even if I have recently.
"At all?" Casey asks.
"No, I mean I've had things with my exes since we met but there won't be anything more. It is all over." I say.
"Good. So boyfriends?" Casey asks.
"Wow. I guess so." I say not feeling sure at all.
"Too fast?" Casey asks.
"No, boyfriends sounds really good." I say.