Angsty Alexander

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Alexander in the open part 4 – Frustrated Alexander This is a continuation of the Angsty Alexander story.

I wake up feeling way better than I deserve to. Peter had a restless night and is now sleeping so I inch out of bed trying not to disturb him. I go to the bathroom then slip on a pair of loose shorts not bothering with underwear, sometimes it's nice to feel everything swinging about.

The middle floor is quiet and so I creep down to the ground floor hoping not to wake anyone.

In the kitchen I put on a pot of coffee, open the windows and quickly tidy up, they didn't leave much mess. I sit at the counter contemplating the day and Jay comes in looking rough.

"Morning." Jay says kissing my cheek, he's pretty stubbly and I love it.

"Hey, you sound brighter than you look." I say.

"I'm okay, I need to shower but didn't want to wake anyone up." Jay says pouring coffee for us both.

"You can shower down here." I say.

"I'll wait, can't go in my room for clothes there are like 6 asleep in there." Jay says

I laugh.

"Shall we make a big breakfast? Pancakes, bacon?" I say.

Jay nods and starts emptying the fridge as I heat up the griddle. We work well together making a big meal for everyone. We set the table together and I feel a million times better than last night.

Jay hugs me from behind and kisses my neck just how he knows I love it.

"What's all the affection for?" I ask.

"You missed out last night." Jay says.

We put the food in the oven to keep warm and head outside to pick up any mess I might have made.

"Did you have a fun night? Sorry I wasn't up for it." I say.

"I did. It was nice to see everyone and I had a little fun. I was worried about you though." Jay says.

"I was being a grumpy bitch feeling sorry for myself. Only I can have a hot boyfriend, pick up two guys and still go to bed alone without getting any." I say trying to make light of my bitterness.

''Hey, I wanted you, you turned me down." Jay says.

"Of course the only guy that was off limits was the only one to make a move." I say.

"I'm glad you didn't do anything. I'd have been hurt if it wasn't me." Jay says looking at me seriously.

"Are you happy with Mike?" I ask.

"I think so. It's early yet. Are you and Peter okay?" Jay asks.

"I don't know. We're not back to normal yet. I need to concentrate on him properly with everything going on my head wasn't where it needed to be when we were on vacation and since we got back I've not made time for him the way we need after so long apart." I say honestly.

"Him being off with someone else can't help." Jay says

I shrug.

"I know I'll never be enough for him. I want him to be happy so I have to let him do what he needs. Maybe we're already on borrowed time, I don't know." I say sadly.

"You two were doing so well. I'm sure you'll find your way soon." Jay says.

We go inside, people are beginning to emerge so I make some eggs while Jay serves up the rest of the food we've prepared.

We have a pretty rowdy breakfast considering how hungover people are. Everyone is retelling stories of the night before and swapping summer stories. I tune out after a while. Peter hasn't made it down so I fix him a plate and take it upstairs.

"Hey honey, I brought you some food." I say.

"Thanks Baby." Peter says groggily.

"How are you feeling?" I ask.

"Sore, tired, hungry. Bring me that fooooood." Peter growls at me as he tries to manoeuvre himself into a sitting position.

His back is nothing like as red as it was but the skin is broken in places. He sites on the edge of the bed grimacing. I sit next to him and kiss him.

"I thought you'd be the living dead all day, you seem pretty perky." Peter says between bites.

"I've been up a while. I guess I drank a lot of shower water last night by accident as I don't feel too bad and my super breakfast helped." I say grinning.

"It is good, did you do it all yourself?" Peter asks.

"Jay helped." I say.

"Of course." Peter says coldly.

"You need to get used to us being domestic together, just like you Brian and Jamie this summer." I say.

"Yeah but were you being domestic or playing newlyweds?" Peter sneers.

I can't take another fight right now. I feel tears forming.

"Stop being jealous. We are just friends. I turned him down last night. I don't deserve this shit." I say.

"I'm sorry. I'm feeling guilty about last night. I had such a great time and you didn't. I'm trying to make you feel bad for being a good host this morning. I'm sorry. I'm afraid I won't be much fun today though. I'll probably go lie out in the garden and read or something." Peter says. "Okay. I need to tackle my email and get all my film business tied up before school on Wednesday. I need to do back to school shopping. Shall we go Monday?" I ask.

"I am working Monday and Tuesday. What about tomorrow?" Peter suggests.

"I wanted to go when it would be quieter, just in case." I say.

"I understand. Take Brian or someone on Monday then." Peter says.

"Okay, give me a list of what you need." I say.

I make the bed when Peter is in the bathroom, help him dress then we head downstairs together.

Peter heads outside while I clean up from breakfast, everyone seems to have disappeared.

I grab my laptop and head outside. Peter is lead on his belly in the sunshine, his head on a pillow. I lie next to him and steal some kisses before getting on with my work.

"This is a weird one." I say.

"What?" Peter asks.

"It's forwarded from Blair's office, an email from a woman claiming to be Jane st Jane's sister. She says she's sorry for not being in touch before, she hadn't known about my Dad. She thanks me for talking about that day, it gave her some closure as she never really knew what happened. She wants to meet up to talk about Jane and my Mom, says she was good friends with Mom." I say quite overwhelmed.

"Do you think she's real or a crazy?" Peter asks.

"I don't know. I was going to say I'll call Mart but we're not talking and I don't want to make John a go between." I say.

"Get Jay to be the go between. If you want to see her. If you don't it doesn't matter anyway." Peter says.

"If she's real I'd really like to talk to her. She might have photos of Mom and stories." I say.

"That would be good for you." Peter says.

I head Indoors to find Jay, he agrees to talk to Mart.

I head back outside feeling a bit excited.

"Do you think you'll feel up to going out for dinner later? I think we need a date somewhere nice, proper alone time." I say.

"That sounds good." Peter replies.

I smile and go back to work. My publicist has sent through loads of cuttings, interview requests and copies of all statements released on my behalf. None of it is of must interest to me. I don't have anything to add to what has already been said the whole point of the TV interview was to only do the one.

I send them a mail saying thanks for all their work.

I feel free. I'm ready to head back to class and be a student again. I'm ready to work things through with Peter, I want to. I really want what we had back.

I close up my laptop, Peter shuffles closer and rests his head on my legs, I run my hands through his hair and we just lie out enjoying being together with nothing to do.

Dan and Robbie come out from the apartment and sit with us, enjoying the sun. They're both working on plays and sit back to back to back typing away, they are so comfortable together, they just fit. Its really nice to just be around a great couple.

Slowly the others come through some leave, some sit with us. No one is talking much. Jay comes to the door and asks me to go inside.

"I spoke to Mart, he confirms she exists. She was jointly on some of the lawsuits with your Dad. Mart thinks it's weird she didn't use him to get in touch so is reaching out to her to confirm for you. He said to tell you he wouldn't be charging you for it and he wishes you would call." Jay says.

"Thanks Jay. That's really helpful. I know I need to talk to Mart but I'm still a bit sore from it all." I say.

"You made up with me." Jay says.

"You made up with me more like, I hurt you this time." I say.

"We'll always forgive each other." Jay says putting his arms around me.

I pull back and shake my head

"Where's Mike?" I ask.

"He went back to sleep." Jay says.

"Come outside with us. We're just resting in the sunshine." I say.

"Nah I'm going to wake up Mike, we're meant to be going shopping, though it's getting late." Jay says.

"I need back to school stuff, I'm going Monday if you want to come.' I offer.

''Thanks, that would be nice." Jay says.

Peter is greets me with a big smile.

"All okay?" he asks.

"Yeah. Mart knew her once and is getting in touch to make sure its really her." I say.

"Let's go upstairs and talk properly." Peter says slowly getting up.

In our room we share a big hug.

"You and Mart friends again?" Peter asks.

"Not yet. I know it's silly but I'm still hurt about everything. I need to let go but I'm not quite ready." I say.

"You've had a major few weeks. You're being so strong, I'm so proud of you. If you need to hold a grudge for a bit that is okay. I'm sorry for how I reacted over the Blair thing, not being fully supportive. I know I already apologized but I've been thinking a lot about the timing of it all and how much pressure they all put on you. I'm really mad at them on your behalf. " Peter says surprising me.

"Thanks baby. That really means so much to me. I know I handled it badly and you took the brunt of it I hope you are okay with me now, properly okay. I'm going to put all my energy into us now. No more distractions you deserve my full focus. I want us to work more than anything. If it means I can't be friends with Jay or I can't do the movie then I won't. I need you to know how much I love you and how much I appreciate you staying faithful to me this summer. We're going to be okay aren't we?" I say blinking back a tear.

Peter envelopes me and holds me as tight as he can.

"Yeah we are It's just going to be an adjustment being back together all the time again. " Peter says

We kiss for a good while.

"I guess I should book somewhere for tonight, as its Saturday and lots of freshmen will be being taken out by their parents " I say.

"Yes. Talking of parents I know its short notice but mine want us to go to them for labor day. As I've not been home all summer." Peter says.

"That sounds good. I like your parents and would love to see where you grew up. I best book flights now, hope there are some left." I say.

"Yeah, sorry I should have done it weeks ago. September felt like months away." Peter says.

I search quickly and see whats left.

"Is it okay to do early Saturday morning, like 6am early then the same back Tuesday, might have to go straight to class." I say.

"Yeah is there nothing Friday?" Peter asks.

"There is but it $400 more each." I say.

"Saturday it is. I'll call Mom now." Peter says.

While Peter calls home I look for somewhere for dinner and make a reservation in Peters name.

"You sure about being out on a Saturday night?" Peter asks.

"Yeah. We need to live normally, I've no secrets now. I should be out having dinner with my boyfriend. I booked a fancy place so I hope we don't get hassle. I'm sure people won't care anyway." I say.

"Thank goodness for that. I've been so worried you were turning into a hermit like on vacation." Peter says.

"We neeeeeeeeeeed to talk properly again. You should be able to tell me these thing." I say.

"I did on vacation but you couldn't take it in. I'm not going to be holding back with you anymore." Peter grins.

We pull each other on to the bed and he lies on top of me as we make out. It's all going to be okay.

Eventually we tear ourselves away from each other and get changed for dinner.

We get to the restaurant and have to wait a few minutes for our table to be ready. I'm not sure if I'm being paranoid or if people are staring and pointing at me. It's pretty busy and loud so I can't make out anything people are saying.

Our table is in the middle of the restaurant and I feel pretty exposed but I don't want to make a scene by asking to move.

"You look really handsome tonight." I say, its true he's wearing a suit with an open shirt and looks really hot.

"You do too. I like showing you off like this." Peter grins.

"I feel like everyone is looking." I say.

"Because I look so hot." Says Peter.

We both laugh and try to relax.

The food is amazing we both have seafood to start followed by ribs, so good.

"I need to work out tomorrow after this." I say.

"You're looking really good. All the sun and sea agreed with you." Peter says.

"I feel out of shape. We can work out together again." I say.

"Sure, Brian and I did pretty well at home over the summer. I think we need a couple more things. It was so useful when the student gym was closed." Peter says.

"You did a great job with Brian, his shape is changing already." I say.

"Yes. He really worked hard. He's a great guy, Eric was an idiot dumping him." Peter says.

"Maybe, looks like Brian and Blondie will get back together now, though I think Blondie will keep Ray n the side." I say.

"Plus the two guys he lives with. Brian is happy to share though. I really thought he was going to start looking for someone new then he and Blondie got back in touch and suddenly he was a new guy. No more moping over Eric, he's really happy." Peter says.

"I'm glad. I had hoped Eric would come to his senses and they'd get back together but he only has eyes for Bobbie and that is never going to happen." I say.

"I'm glad I don't have to worry about that stuff anymore. I like that we're settled." Peter says.

Everything he's said to me today has put my mind at rest.

"I like it too. I spent too much time worrying this summer. I just want to concentrate on you." I say

"I'm sorry about last night." Peter says.

"It's fine. Bad timing but you need what you need. It actually made me realize how much I need you in my life so I'm glad it happened. I'm just mad its put you out of action for a few days." I say.

The waitress comes to ask if we want dessert. We decline and ask for the bill.

As we wait a guy jumps up from his table and takes our picture with their phone before we can stop it. Then it seems like half the restaurant is taking pictures. I throw money on the table and we run out the door. Not exactly the most gracious way to handle things, should I have stayed? Have I made it worse?

We get to the car and look at each other and just burst out laughing.

"That was so weird." Peter says.

"Should I have stayed and posed?" I ask.

"I don't know. No." Peter says laughing more.

We drive home. Its quiet everyone seems to be out so we curl up on the couch together and watch TV. We watch some daft film then head up to bed.

We're kissing in bed and I start kissing his chest and moving down.

"Not now honey. I'm too tired and sore." Peter says. I know he probably is but I still feel rejected.

The next morning I'm still horny but Peter wants to sleep in.

I head to the basement to work out.

Jay walks in.

"You decided to find out what working out is?" I ask.

"Ha ha ha no. You need to keep a skinny friend to make you look bigger." Jay laughs and I join in.

"I was out last night so I didn't see it, Mart messaged us. He spoke to Abigail, Jane's sister it was really her, she lives about an hour from here she'd really love to see you." Jay says.

"Oh that is great. Thanks so much Jay. I owe you." I say.

I continue my workout, shower and head upstairs to call her. I arrange to drive over for the afternoon. I'm really excited.

As usual Peter drives, he's excited for me and we chatter away on the drive hardly noticing the traffic.

We find the house easily enough and suddenly I feel nervous. Peter kisses me before we get out the car and snaps me out of it.

Abigail opens the door before we get to it and welcomes us inside. We make small talk about school and the weather while she makes us a drink. We sit down at her table. She has a pile of photo albums ready for us.

"I met your Mom when you were a baby. I used to meet her and Jane for lunch sometimes on set and often on their days off. I moved out to California a year or 2 before Jane and then you guys came out full time. I moved to Chicago a few years later but I'd visit once or twice a year. Jane and I were very close until she got married. Your Mom worked very hard to stay in Jane's life after she married Grant, he was so controlling and tried to alienate her from everyone. I was always grateful your Mom stuck it out when it would have been easier to lose her friend." Abigail says.

The whole time she is talking she's showing us pictures, of me as a baby, my parents at a party, Abigail and Jane, Jane and Grant's wedding. I don't remember seeing any of them before and it's quite emotional.

"He was a nightmare. I was so scared of him, he'd come on set and accuse everyone of sleeping with Jane. Even at 9 or 10 I couldn't understand why she stayed with him. I remember my Dad telling her she could stay with us any time." I say.

"Your Dad was a very good man. We all adored him." Abigail says.

We get to a later album and I recognize the event.

"This is my 10th birthday at Disneyland. Oh my gosh I remember you now. You were there, you are the one who bought me the Dumbo teapot." I say.

"That's right." Abigail says.

"Mom made me keep it at Jane's house. I'd forgotten all about it. I did love it, one of the best gifts I ever received." I say.

Abigail walks out and comes back in with a box.

"Seriously?" I ask.

She nods.

I open it up and grin.

"I have the others for you too if you want them. I know she would have wanted you to have them. Your Dad declined them at the time. It was only when I saw you on TV that I realized why." Abigail says.

"Did you and Dad stay in touch after? I mean I can see you were friends with him as well as Mom. Mart said you were jointly on some of the cases." I say.

"We did. He sent updates about you and I moved back to California six months after the murders and we started a relationship. He didn't want you to know, neither of us wanted you to think I was trying to replace your Mom. However I did push to be a family when he told me you were moving to Seattle, but he wanted a clean break and that included from me. I understood. I don't think we were ever in love it was just a way of handling our grief." Abigail says.

"l can't say how I'd have handled it if you had moved with us. I'd like to think I wanted my Dad to be happy but that summer we moved was the happiest I remember. We had the best time fishing and hiking and spending real time getting to know each other. I wouldn't have wanted to share that." I say.

Peter reaches for my hand and squeezes.

I am glad you had that time together. Did he go back to writing like he planned?" Abigail asks.

"Yes. He wrote 2 books but never sent them to his agent. I think he liked how peaceful our life was and didn't want to do a book tour or anything. But he couldn't not write." I try to explain.

"I was so shocked when you said he had passed on TV. Who did you live with? I know you don't have any family." Abigail asks.

"I lived alone for senior year and then came to college, last year I was in the dorms and now I have a house filled with my friends." I say smiling.

"I'm sorry you didn't know to call me. I should have at least kept up Christmas and birthday cards. I'm sorry. My only excuse is I thought your Dad knew best. I can't believe no one told me h e was sick, that he didn't tell me himself." Abigail says.

"I'm sorry you found out on TV. I had no idea who to call about Dad at the time, no idea how to make the calls. He didn't leave any instructions other than for his funeral. He wanted me to keep the privacy we had after leaving the business so we didn't submit obituaries or tell his college alumni association or anyone." I say.

"I understand. I really, really hate that you were alone that year. I'm very surprised your Dad didn't call and ask me to take you." Jane says.

"I think he thought John and Mart were taking me. It's all in the past now. I'd really like to spend more time with you. I am so grateful you reached out and I've loved seeing all the pictures." I say.

"I have too. It's been great seeing Alexander as a real kid, as himself. I can't believe how tiny you were." Peter says.

"I know"I cannot believe how much he's grown. You were what 12 or 13 last time I saw you and you were barely 5 foot tall. Now you tower over me, you're taller than your Dad. You take after your Mom's Dad." Abigail says.

"Did you know him?" I ask.

"We had one thanksgiving together when you were a baby. Let me see, here look." Abigail says finding the picture of us all having dinner, me sat on my grandfather's lap.

"Wow." I say shocked "I've only seen one or two pictures of him, Mom's graduation and my parents wedding picture."

"These are all for you." Abigail indicates the albums.

"No, I couldn't." I say.

"I've had copies made of all of them. I did it as soon as I saw you on TV." Abigail says

"Are you married?" Asks Peter.

"No, my sister's marriage rather put me off the idea and I never wanted children of my own so there was never a rush. I'm still young, I could find him." Abigail explains.

"Thank you so much for today. I promise I'll keep in touch and we will visit again soon." I say standing and giving her a hug.

"I'm sorry we lost so much time. Do you want the other teapots now? They're all boxed up. " Abigail says.

"I would, very much. Are you sure?" I ask.

"Absolutely. I told you she wanted you to have them. She loved you very much and always enjoyed working with you." Abigail says.

"I loved working with her too. Here this is for you." I say holding out a usb stick.

"What is it?" She asks.

"My Dads last two books. I think he'd like you to read them. I bought it just in case you knew him too. It's been really hard for me since he died, not being able to talk about my parents to anyone who knew them as a couple, as friends not clients you know?" I say.

"I understand." Abigail says.

We hug again and Peter helps me load up the car with the boxes

"You okay baby? That was pretty intense." Peter says as we drive away.

"I am. She was so nice. I'm starting to remember other days out with her, she looks so much like Jane I think my memories of the two of them blurred into one." I say.

"She is almost family for you. Better than Mart and John, she never worked for you." Peter says.

"Yes. I'm really glad she got in touch. She didn't ask for anything from me, she didn't push me for more details about that day or Dad really. I'm kind of sad they didn't work out, I had no idea he was even seeing anyone." I say.

"I'm glad you asked me to come today. I know you don't like talking about the past, but you did a little today and I really felt like you were letting me in." Peter says.

"I love you." I say.

That evening I'm pretty exhausted mentally but I want, need Peter. I lie on our bed and watch him undress, my body displays its appreciation.

"I'm sorry I'm still sore." Peter says as he lies beside me and gives me a brief kiss.

"Please, I need you." I plead.

"It's late and I've work tomorrow, today was exhausting." Peter says calmly.

"You're 19 not 90.I won't take long, it's been ages." I beg, kissing his shoulders.

"Sort yourself out. I'm going to sleep." Peter says and moves away.

Sometimes having a massive bed is not so good.

I move away and curl up. I can't be upset with him, not after my issues earlier in the year and before now he's always had the higher sex drive and never pestered me like I am doing to him. I just feel like since we've been back we're either connecting physically or mentally but not both together and it is making me feel insecure.

I wake early and am disappointed that we haven't moved closer in the night. I watch Peter sleeping until his alarm goes. He doesn't even look at me as he slides out of bed to the bathroom.

"Did you need me to get you anything when I'm shopping?" I ask when he comes back from the shower.

"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you. I don't need anything." Peter says.

"I was already awake." I say.

"Oh. See you about 3.1 don't need to stay late today I'm just helping with admin stuff before classes start." Peter says.

"Okay I'll make sure I'm back by then. Shall I drive you in?" I ask.

"Its okay I'll cycle." Peter says.

He kisses me goodbye and rushes off.

I shower and have breakfast waiting for Jay to get ready. We head out and shop for ages. I offer to treat him to some clothes that look really good on him that he's dithering over.

"I can pay for things now you know. Given you won't let me pay rent and John and Mart are picking up the rest of my tuition and I saved almost everything this summer." Jay says.

"I'm sorry, I like treating you. You look really good, I thought you were worried about cost." I say.

"Just because I have some money doesn't mean I should spend it on expensive clothes. I'm just deciding what I do and don't need." Jay says.

"Okay. I'm sorry." I say "You do look really, really good in them though."

Jay looks at me, stares at me hard.

"You're hot for me." Jay says moving closer.

I step back, the clothes I've selected are held in front of my crotch hiding the bulge.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a creep. Everything is setting me off at the moment." I explain

"Is Peter not taking care of you?" Jay laughs.

I walk to the cash register before I say or do anything stupid.

Do you want those or not?" I ask a little sharply.

"I do, thank-you." Jay says.

He rubs my back as I pay and I appreciate it.

"Lets go for a coffee." Jay suggests.

I follow him out the store and we find a place quickly, Jay buys the drinks while I sit with the shopping.

"At least you let me buy this much." Jay grins.

"Least you can do." I laugh.

"Are you okay? I though, you and Peter were getting back to normal" Jay says.

"Yeah, we are. I'm um I'm used to being the one with the lower sex drive is all and I'm not used to the rejection " I say.

"You used to be great with me when you weren't in the mood, never made me fee. unwanted that way. You made me fee, like I was pleasing you whether you were joining in or not." Jay says.

"I'm more self-conscious about it than you Jay, you were always so upfront about your needs. I'm very aware of my shortcomings right now." I say.

"Uh you are the last of us who should feel inadequate. He shouldn't be making you feel like this, deliberately or not. You don't have to stay with him if it isn't working." Jay says.

"It will work. I'm being stupid and selfish. How are things with Mike? Is he in class today?" I ask trying to change the subject.

"Things with Mike are new, I don't know if it'll work out or not yet. I'm worried about you. I'm not saying this because I want you for myself but because I love you as a friend. Peter is hurting you right now and you are disappearing. This is not about you not getting any for a few days. This is about him not making you feel desired and you trying to change your personality to fit what you think he wants." Jay says.

"It's not that serious. Honestly. We will be fine. He got pretty beaten up Friday and I can't expect him to put aside his discomfort for mine." I say.

"I hope it works out for you. I do. I am always here for you, always, even if we're fighting." Jay says.

"Thanks. It will all be okay. Once we're back in classes and into our routine it will be fine, I'll be turning him down and he'll be complaining to you." I say grinning.

"Okay. Let's shop more clothes then kitchen stuff" Jay says.

The rest of the day goes well, my mood lightens and we enjoy a nice lunch and buy loads of stuff.

It's gone 4 by the time we get home, I let Peter know I'd be late but he doesn't reply.

We unpack things for the kitchen together then separate to put our clothes away. Jay is going out with Mike tonight.

Peter comes in just as I'm finishing putting away my clothes.

"Hey I missed you." He says kissing me, all sweaty from a workout.

I playfully push him away before pulling him close for a kiss.

"Sorry I was late." I say.

"It's okay I needed to work out and Brian wanted to too." Peter says

"Did you have a good day?" I ask.

"No it was boring as hell. Let's go to a movie tonight, I want to get out the house and no one will hassle us in the dark." Peter says.

"Okay. I didn't get any hassle today, it was really quiet." I say.

"Good. Book tickets while I shower, something loud with guns." Peter says.

"More kisses first" I say pressing hard against him and breathing in his sweaty scent.

We kiss and kiss and then he pulls away and slips into the shower, I contemplate following him but book the tickets instead.

The movie is okay, I don't really pay much attention. Peter is being a bit more affectionate, holding my hand and leaning into me. We head to the diner afterwards and we chat about his day and mine, he is not happy that I went with Jay.

"You said if it took not being friends with Jay to keep us together that is what you'd do. Then you spend the day with him and buy him loads of things. Is he your boyfriend or am I?" Peter asks.

"You didn't say you actually wanted me to drop Jay. I don't know why you're so jealous, I wanted to shop with you and I offered to buy things for you." I say.

"Well I'm saying it now. I don't want you spending time alone with him. Its fine in a group, I'm not saying you can't be friends but no more of this couple-y stuff with him." Peter says.

"Okay. I'm sorry." I say sadly feeling my fun day ruined.

We talk about the movie and classes. We're taking two classes together this semester which I'm very happy about.

"Are you wanting to avoid the house now everyone is back?" I ask.

"I don't know. A little. I feel our problems are magnified when we are at home and I just want to skip ahead to us being okay you know." Peter says.

"Then lets be okay." I say grinning.

"Okay." Peter says kissing my nose.

It's late when we go to bed, I don't make last night's mistake,however horny I am I'll wait for him to make a move. I get into bed kiss Peter quickly and try and sleep.

'Are you sure you were just shopping with Jay?" Peter asks rudely a few minutes later.

"Fuck you. An hour ago you agree we're going to be okay now you're picking a fight and not trusting me." I say. I'm boiling angry.

"The last two nights you've been begging for it and tonight nothing. What am I supposed to think?" Peter says.

"It's late, you've got work tomorrow. I cannot face any more rejection from you. It's your turn to make a move." I say ice cold.