Angsty Alexander

Angsty Alexander part 12

None of the characters in this story are real or based on anyone real.

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Peter

I call Alexander before dropping the guys back at their dorm, he agrees to get our stuff together so we can go to the house for the rest of the weekend. He comes down quickly with a bag for each of us.

I kiss him in the car.

"You look fucking sexy, all bedraggled." Alexander says with a grin.

"Thanks, you're always fucking hot." I reply.

At the house the contractors are still there, I head upstairs with our stuff while Alexander talks to them.

I drop our bags and collapse onto the inflatable bed, I'm soon sleeping.

Alexander wakes me gently kissing my forehead.

"Lets order some food and get on with our paper. If you're not too sleepy." Alexander says.

"Great idea. Did you eat breakfast?" I ask.

"No, I was super full from last night. Honest." Alexander replies.

"Did the food make you sick? Mamma Cat was worried it would be too rich after not eating properly." I say.

"I was fine. I spent some time with Jay sorting the interview then I went to sleep." Alexander said.

"Okay." I say.

We eat and study at the big kitchen table, the only furniture in the place.

"This table is beautiful." I say.

"Its the only thing I kept from my family home. My Mom hated it so we only used it in Seattle." Alexander explains.

Alexander eats without issue and I relax, we get our paper done, we'd both done the research already and it was a breeze to put together. I love working with Alexander, everyone at school is smart but he's one of the few that remembers that, so many others think they're the smartest in the room and are closed off to anyone's ideas.

"I can't wait to live here full time and cook normal food and just be." Alexander says.

"Can you cook?" I ask.

"Kind of, I got by last year. I can't keep this body on take-out and crap." Alexander says.

"What body? Its all gone." I say, biting my tongue in regret as soon as its out.

"I'm sorry." he says quietly.

"No, don't be sorry, we'll get you well and strong again. Muscled or skinny you're still super sexy to me. Confident or vulnerable I love you both ways." I say, not realizing I've admitted it out loud for a moment.

"Thank-you. I'm sorry I'm not boyfriend material right now, if I was I would be with you, you know that right. But please don't wait for me like I did with Jay." Alexander says earnestly.

I ruffle his hair and kiss him.

"I'm hardly waiting around, you should have seen me last night, I was into everyone." I say with a laugh.

"I so want to hear about everything." says Alexander.

"Everyone hates Jay's Ben, I'm not just saying that to make you feel better. They think he's a dick." I say.

"Jay asked me to have a threeway with him and Ben last night." Alexander says, absolutely shocking me.

"Shit, seriously?" I say.

"I told him to go to hell. But I think maybe things are not okay in Jays bedroom." Alexander speculates.

"What do you want to do next?" I ask.

"Make out." Alexander says with a grin.

I laugh.

"Actually I need to go furniture shopping tomorrow, now this place is about done. Lets look online for ideas and so I can budget." Alexander says surprising me.

"Sounds a bit old married." I say with a grin.

Alexander punches my arm.

"You'll be living here too, you should at least choose things for your room." Alexander says.

"I would love to. Do we need to ask Eric too?" I ask.

"Just us would be nice." says Alexander making my heart soar.

We go upstairs and look at ideas and Alexander shows me his bed design.

We put the laptop and tablet away and snuggle a little.

"Why don't you tell me all about last night and I make you feel good. Advance reward for helping me shop." says Alexander.

"I hate not reciprocating, but you are asking nicely, and you smell so good you're getting me excited." I say honestly.

We kiss and snuggle and Alexander explores me, and I don't stop him. I tell him about all the guys and I enjoy what he's offering, just once.

Alexander

Peter turns out to be a really good shopping companion. We order up a storm, visiting store after store, ordering appliances and gym equipment along with furnishing, bedding and cooking equipment. I feel like my credit card is melting.

"Holy shit we spent loads." Peter says as we sit having a well deserved steak dinner.

"Yes, well I knew it was coming. I'll call Mart later so he doesn't have a fit over all the charges." I say.

"I'll get to meet him over break?" Peter asks "Feel pretty nervous."

"Ahh they'll love you. Don't worry about it." I say.

"Of course everyone loves me." says Peter laughing.

"Until they get to know you. Ahh I don't mean it. Thank-you so much for this weekend, it felt normal. School is doing my head in. It was nice to just be with you, no distractions." I say, meaning it.

Peter has been amazing. I hope I'm not leading him on too much, I really enjoy kissing him and I can't exactly get that elsewhere right now. He's a strong guy, I'm sure he'll say no when he wants to.

"How long til the house is complete?" Asks Peter.

"The main house will be finished this week, its just a couple of odd jobs to go, cables in, utilities are all on. The Apartment will be finished by spring break. I still need to find someone to live there." I say.

"Yeah, I don't know, just put an ad up at school. What about the main house. Me and Jamie for the summer then Me,; you and Eric for sophomore year. What about Jay? I assume Blondie is out the picture." Peter says.

"I don't know about Jay. I've not seen Blondie at all so he's a no. We can always keep the downstairs room for guests like if your parents visit or something. But I would like someone else in the upstairs room. We can talk to Jay. I don't know how I'd cope seeing him with other guys, I think I'm past it but I don't know." I say.

"What about Brian?" Peter asks.

"Brian wants to stay in the dorms in a single, he wants to have access to cafeterias and be close to the libraries at all times." I laugh.

We go to the house, gather up our stuff and head back to our room. Until the fridge arrives and real beds I think we'll be staying at school.

Its the week of Eric's show and he's got tickets for all of us. I'm so grateful that Eric and Peter colluded to get me back out being social. I've been to a movie with Emma and Jamie, Peter and I had dinner with Thijs and Felix. I also met some of the playwrights I'll be working with. I feel almost normal again.

The musical is good, Eric was adorable and I hated saying it but Ben, Jay's boyfriend was excellent. Eric invites us all to a after party in the dorm common room. Its all going well until I go to the bathroom, needing a breather from all the people I take a stall and overhear Ben on the phone.

"Yes he usually goes out with total psychos, he's been utterly hopeless with men. Just before he met me he'd finally got rid of his deranged ex who had been pestering him for months. He was quite traumatized by it all. I don't know how he'll cope over break seeing him again. He doesn't want to go but can't afford to unless this guy pays his plane fare. Totally using him but why shouldn't he use the guys obsession to his advantage. Luckily Eric is going so he'll have help fending him off. He's ever so worried all his friends think the guy is nuts."

I feel the tears on my cheeks, I didn't know I'd started crying. I wait until I'm sure he's gone, wash my face and run back to my room. I grab some clothes, my schoolwork, leave a note for Peter and head to the house.

I shut off my phone, make sure I'm not logged into any messaging apps and sleep and work the weekend away. Its mid terms next week so I need the study time.

On Sunday afternoon there is a knock at the door. I look out and see Peter and Eric. I don't answer and eventually they go away. I can not face anyone. I've no idea who has been talking about me and I just let the numbness back in.

Peter

I'm scared shitless when Alexander runs off. I've no idea what has set him off this time. Its frustrating as he'd had a really good week.

Eric and I go to the house on sunday but he won't come down. He must be embarrassed about something again. We asked Jay but he claims he didn't even see Alexander so we've no idea what happened.

I have to put him to the back of my mind as its midterms this week, on Wednesday Alexander had a study session planned in the physics library, I go hoping he'll show. He does. He looks like shit, he's grey, looks thinner again even though its been just a few days. I'm terrified.

He sounds his old studious self and the group of us cover the material planned. I'm still stunned every time I study with him, he's so efficient and focused, making us all better. Not like other groups where there are more breaks than studying.

The rest of the group are delighted he's not going for the internships, I think they underestimate me too. I've made it to the interview stage though after break.

At the end of the session I wait for him, he looks a bit strange before getting up. I follow him as he heads towards the bathroom, I catch him as he faints before getting there.

I help him inside and splash his face. I grab our bags and take his arm.

"When did you last eat?" I ask

"I forget." Alexander answers.

"We're going now for some soup. You are moving back to the room or letting me in at the house. I suppose you're running in too, on no food." I say angrily.

Alexander nods weakly.

I sit him at a table in the cafeteria and get 2 bowls of noodle soup and some hot chocolate.

"Eat." I say, still angry.

He makes slow progress. I finish my bowl and go back and find some pudding, and more hot chocolate for Alexander.

"You're looking a bit better. You scared me to death, what the fuck are you doing to yourself? You were so much better last week." I say, still not letting my anger go.

"I'm sorry, you shouldn't have to babysit me. I'll do better. Its just 2 more days. I just needed some quiet to study." Alexander says.

"Bullshit. You don't run out of a party without a word to me just to get some quiet." I say.

"Let's not do this now, we need to focus on exams." Alexander says quietly.

"Okay. But I mean it, you're coming back to the room. I won't be able to focus if I don't know where you are." I say.

"Okay. I'm sorry Peter, I'm sorry." Alexander cries, his tears breaking my heart.

We get through the next 2 days, I hand him bananas and powerbars whilst he's studying and he eats them without noticing. We both actually breeze our exams. I worry he might not have been able to concentrate earlier in the week but he says he enjoyed all of his, the nerd.

Saturday morning we grab out bags and meet Eric and Jay and get a cab to the airport.

We have breakfast then hang out in the lounge which is cool. Alexander is on edge and I don't know if its because of Jay or something else. I don't want to upset him at the start of the trip so keep quiet.

I sit next to Alexander, I try and talk to him a little but he just stares out the window. About an hour in he turns to me.

"Thank-you for coming. I've no idea if I can trust Jay or Eric right now but I'm pretty certain you are not the one who has been talking about me behind my back." Alexander says calmly.

"Actually I have talked about you, with Eric and with Jamie and Emma. We've all been worried about you, they helped me come up with the plan to come with you this week." I say.

"Just that you worried about me? Did you talk about me stalking Jay?" Alexander asks.

"Stalking Jay, don't be daft, you've avoided him every time something has gone wrong. You kept out his way when he was with Felix and with me. Now he's with Ben you've seen him what twice, both because of Eric." I say.

"I've been there every time he's had a break-up though, just in case it was our time." Alexander says.

"Not obsessively, always as a friend first. You never jumped in when he was vulnerable, not like me." I admit.

"Do you know if the others, Eric, Felix maybe talk about me like that. Is Jay scared of me?" Alexander asks.

"What the fuck happened? What did you hear? What did Jay do?" I ask.

Alexander just shakes his head and turns away.

I ask Eric to swap seats for a bit.

"Jay, have you been telling people Alexander is a deranged stalker and that you're scared of him?" I ask bluntly, unable to hide my anger.

"No!" Jay shouts back looking shocked.

"Wait, oh, maybe, just messing about with Ben, I told him Alexander always came back, that he was a bit obsessive." Jay says, looking embarrassed.

"Could Alexander have overheard and misinterpreted, at the party?" I ask.

"No, it was ages ago, at Bens. I'd never say anything like that now, given what Alexander is doing for me." Said jay, pretty defensive.

"Is Ben prone to exaggeration?" I ask.

"Maybe." Jay says in a small voice.

"Any chance he is a bit jealous of this trip, that maybe he had a go at Alexander?" I push.

"I don't think so, yes he loves drama and gossip but he wouldn't have said anything directly. He couldn't, they've never even met." Jay says, still red faced.

I swap back, I can't be near Jay right now.

"Was it Ben you heard talking?" I ask Alexander.

He nods.

"He was exaggerating, don't pay any attention. Jay is not scared of you. He doesn't badmouth you. Stop pushing us all away." I say, squeezing his hand.

"He said a lot of stuff, things about me, it sounded like it was common knowledge, I was a fruitloop who stalked Jay and who Jay had only ever used to get things." Alexander says so quietly.

"Jay loved you. I know you need to move on but don't second guess those feelings. For whatever reason he chose not to be with you, I don't ever think it was because he didn't love you." I say.

We get to LA around noon and a car service is waiting for us to take us out to Santa Monica. The hotel is pretty nice, we have 2 rooms on the same floor, with a great view of the beach. We have lunch at a near by seafood place. Jay actually apologizes to Alexander unprompted about Ben, surprising all of us.

Alexander

Away from college I feel I can breathe again. Even though the hotel is noisy and the traffic on the way to the hotel was crazy it feels great to be away from school.

At lunch Jay apologizes about Ben. I kind of believe him but not completely, he never was the type to slate his exes without good reason. The only one he talks shit about is Peter and he had good reason to. Maybe I was obsessed and scary.

"Shall we spend the afternoon on the beach?" I ask.

"Only if we can hire an umbrella."Laughs Eric.

We head back to the hotel change, slather on more sunscreen and head back out, collecting an umbrella for Eric on the way.

Its a relaxing afternoon soaking up the sun and splashing about too. "What are the plans for tomorrow?" Jay asks.

"Hang out at the pool here?" I suggest.

"Sounds good, when are your meetings. My interview is Monday afternoon." Jays says.

"I have doctors monday, studio meetings Thursday and Monday evening John and Mart have invited us all to dinner." I say.

"Screen test wednesday afternoon, Sal suggested you come with me Jay. I think I'm coming to the meetings thursday too." Eric says.

"I want to go to a club Thursday night, there's a night that suits me on." Peter says.

"Going to get some pain?" Asks Eric.

Peter nods but doesn't elaborate.

"So lots of free time, that's good. We fly home friday morning." I say.

"I don't know about you guys but I'm really feeling the effects of the last few months, lots of pool and beach time is great with me." said Peter.

"Sounds good." said Jay.

Eric and I nod.

"We should do some sight seeing too." I say.

"I don't think we're the map of the stars type." laughs Peter.

"No but we could do a cheesy bus tour or something. I just want to hang out with you guys and have fun." Eric says.

"Are things going to be awkward? Eric you're the only one who is friends with all of us, I don't see Jay forgiving Peter any time soon and I'm still very wary of Jay." I say honestly.

"I don't want things to be awkward, I'll mostly keep out of Jay's way." says Peter.

"Don't put everything on me, I can't help it if I'm the one you guys screwed over." says Jay.

"Get the fuck over yourself. Alexander is the one who has taken the most shit from you and Peter, yet he and Peter have been able to work through it. You need to work on your friendship with Alexander, you owe him big time." Said Eric.

Jay started sulking. I kissed Eric to thank him for trying. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be friends with Jay, other than to make the trip easier.

On sunday we spend most the day at the hotel pool, sleeping, reading, playing cards. Its incredibly relaxing. We go out for ice-cream mid afternoon and look round the pier. We're all getting along, at least superficially.

We decide to ride the pacific wheel, I get quite affectionate with Peter, I love how relaxed he's become in just 2 days, I love how happy he is. I don't love the looks Jay is giving us.

We decide to watch a movie all in one room, I lie in Peters arms comfortable. Eric and Jay are on the other bed not touching. I kiss Peter gently on the neck and he hugs me closer.

"You make me sick." says Jay breaking the mood.

"Whats your problem?" Peter says.

"You two, you say you're not together yet you act like you're in the romance of the century, Peter acting all protective. Alexander has a complete personality transplant to make you like him. After what you did, its fucking weird." Jay says.

"He's not had a personality transplant, he's fucking depressed. How would you be if a guy promised you a future and then turned around and said ha fooled you." Eric shouts "Why shouldn't he kiss a guy who actually loves him, loves him when he's at rock bottom. Fuck me, should any of us be so lucky."

"I'm very grateful that Alexander forgave me for everything, I was a fucking idiot last year and I am so ashamed for all the pain I caused all of you. I love Alexander, I am very much in love with him. Right now he isn't in the right place to be in a relationship and I respect that and I would never push him for more than he can cope with. Sure maybe it would be healthier for both of us to cut out the affection but we both know where we stand. We actually communicate. Alexander has told me not to wait for him. He isn't promising anything and I've taken him at his word. I go out with other guys. Maybe I'm just having hookups and not looking for anything more as I have hope that things will work with Alexander but that is my choice. He accepts that I'm with other guys, he doesn't judge me for it or throw jealous hissyfits. I know he loves me as a friend right now and he wants to make me feel good, just as I want to make him feel secure and loved. I don't get where you get off judging us" Peter says slowly, making me and Eric tear up.

"You're right, you are both scum and deserve each other. None of this is my fault, you two fucked up first." says Jay.

Eric sighs and is about to go off on one.

"No Jay it is not your fault. If I had been brave enough to tell you I loved you sooner, if I hadn't cheated on you we would likely be together and happy. But those things happened and however hard I worked to right them it was never enough. You dangled our future then snatched it away and I couldn't cope. Not just what you did but it coming on top of all that had come before, losing my Dad, adjusting to school, losing all of you guys when I cheated on you, losing Blondie as my closest friend, I didn't deal with any of it along the way, it all built up and its imploding." I say, feeling exhausted.

"But the thing is, you are here as my guest and you are being impossibly rude. Take some responsibility for your role in all of this. When we spoke before winter break I really thought you'd taken on how your choices affected me just as much as mine affected you but you are just as selfish as ever. I'm glad you didn't take me back. You don't deserve me. Your boyfriend was probably speaking the truth, you are scared of me, scared I'll expose you for the shit you are. The user you are. I hate you so much and I've no idea why I'm helping you. Other than if you are in California for the summer you'll be a long way away from Eric, Peter and I." I finish and leave the room.

I get ready for bed, sad I've ruined yet another break but somewhat at peace.

Peter walks in.

"I'm so proud of you." Peter says.

"Thanks, I'm sorry for ruining things." I say.

"You didn't ruin anything. Eric has been biting his tongue with Jay for weeks, he's delighted you let him have it. He and Jay are clearing the air right now. Now lets get some sleep, big day tomorrow." Peter says.

Peter

That night there's no question of us sleeping separately, we cling to each other, neither of us sleeps well, we wake and try burying ourselves in the other. When eventually give up on sleep, shower and have breakfast together.

A car service arrives to take us to the doctors office. I hold Alexander's hand tightly. I speak to the receptionist and the doctor is ready for Alexander straight away.

"I'm coming in, just for a second." I say.

I introduce myself to the doctor as Alexander's friend.

"Don't worry I'm not staying, no need to worry about confidentiality. Alexander has been depressed, he's sleeping a lot more than usual, he's not eating, to the point he has dizzy spells and has fainted at least once and his dick doesn't work." I say in a rush.

I walk straight out again, sit down in reception and burst into tears. I'm still crying 20 minutes later when the receptionist tells me to go back in.

"Peter, I've been Alexander primary doctor for many years, it may ease your guilt if I tell you we've been here before, this is serious but I'm sure we'll have things under control shortly. Thank you for being so candid and for looking after him these last months, you've been a great friend." The doctor says gently.

"Thank-you."

I Smile and Alexander squeezes my hand.

"Here is my card. If you think Alexander is slipping into bad habits call." The doctor says.

"I will." I say.

"I'm going to be fine." says Alexander.

We leave together.

"I have to see a therapist this afternoon, and get my prescription filled." Alexander says "Sorry to ruin your day."

"There is nothing that could make my day better. Getting you well is my primary reason for being out here." I say honestly.

"Let's go to the pharmacy then go to a coffee shop or something, my appointment is at 4. We need to be at Mart and John's for 6, can you meet the others and get them there if I give you the address? I'll meet you there." Alexander says.

"Sure, I'll ride with you to the therapists then go get the guys while you are in there." I say.

We get the pills then find a coffee place and order. We sit and relax and chat and start to feel normal again. "That's the worst over with." Says Alexander.

"What?" I ask.

"Telling Doctor Roberts that I've not been eating and I stopped taking my meds a year ago." Alexander says looking a little ashamed.

"Well now you can go and tell your therapist why. I know we can't just tie everything in a bow but it sounds like you're going to be okay." I say.

"I will."Alexander says smiling.

"I'm missed you." I say truthfully, "I like a bit of ice-man."

Dinner with Mart and John is hilarious, the four of us put aside the issues from the night before and are on our best behavior. Its clear the 2 men adore Alexander.

"So how long have you been together?" I ask.

"We met one summer after college, we were both backpacking in South America, we were in the same dorm, in Cusco in Peru, with 8 other guys and our eyes met and boom! That was it, we traveled together the rest of the trip, no more big dorms. We were lucky that we were both headed back to California, Mart to law school at UCLA and me to do my MBA at Pepperdine." John explained.

"It was a tough 2 years, we were both studying like hell and making time to see each other was hard, no skype or facetime back then. We'd study with the phone to our ears just to hear the other breathing." Mart reminisced.

"Then John moved to LA for my final year in law school and started working at a small investment firm. A few guys we'd been in school with were starting to get their breaks and trusted John. John was leaning on me for legal advice too. It was clear the clients wanted a one stop shop away from their agencies and in time that is what we set up." said Mart.

"We met absolutely by chance and we're the luckiest guys in the world." John says leaning in to kiss Mart.

"And I'm lucky my Mom chose you guys to look after my money and legalities. Mart was a pitbull suing everyone after Mom, I swear Dad and I had more money from that than from Movies." Alexander says, a rare insight into his early life.

"Your Mom was the pitbull. I'm glad you've made your peace with how she treated you, she was one hell of a woman and too damn right I sued everyone after she was gone, she deserved fighting for." Mart says.

We eat and learn more about the business. As much as I hate Jay right now I can see he'd easily fit into their world.

Tuesday we're all free other than Alexander's therapy. He has an early appointment so once he's back we buy sightseeing bus tickets and spend the day going round loads of attractions and enjoying everything. I buy the 3 day pass so I have something to do when the others are busy. Now that Alexander is getting treatment I'm feeling so much better.

Jay gets the call on wednesday that he has the job. He's to accompany Eric to his screen test, and Blair asks him and Eric to go and see him that morning leaving Alexander and myself free to spend the day together.

We walk hand in hand on the beach, playing silly games, kissing, just enjoying being with each other. We have lunch at a seafood place and lie around the pool until its time for Alexander to go to therapy.

I go up to the room and pleasure myself before checking out the details of what I'm doing thursday night, excited and scared.

We celebrate Eric's screen test and Jay's job that night at the hotel restaurant and then with champagne from Sal in Eric's room.

I look at Jay and Eric, feeling a little tipsy.. "You two have roomed together a while now, what have you done together?" I ask.

"We've hardly ever been single, so nothing much." says Eric.

"I've jerked off to Eric fucking Brian." Jay admits "But they didn't want me to join in."

"We're usually pretty private." Says Eric.

I burst out laughing.

"That was not what it looked like on your birthday." I say.

"That was a one off. Though we're looking to do more group stuff." Eric admits.

"What about you two." Jay asks.

"Everything." grins Alexander.

"Really?" asks Jay.

"Sure, we've enjoyed each others bodies to the fullest. We're fucking hot, why wouldn't we." Alexander says shocking me with his openness.

"Have you fucked Alexander?" Jay asks me.

"Sure, back before you and I got together." I say, thinking that was well known.

"Ah yes then he freaked out." says Jay, I don't know what angle he's pushing.

"Yes I did, not because Peter topped me but because I found it hard having just sex with a friend. It was easy when it was a random for me but that day was weird. I'm past it now and we easily fell into a casual thing at the start of the year. It was fucking awesome." Says Alexander.

I grin.

"So its just Eric you havn't had." says Jay.

"No, Eric and I have been together, you know that." I say confused. "are you trying to show what a slut I am or something?"

"No. I don't know. I just want to remind Alexander what kind of guy you are." Jay says.

"Jay, you have no say who I am with. I don't know why you need to keep punishing me. I think you want me to be single and pining for you forever." Alexander bursts out.

"For fucks sake stop the fighting. Jay, Peter has changed, get over it. Stop being such a bitch, I thought we had this out already." says Eric.

"Jay, can you please just leave me alone. I brought you on this trip to help you, I wasn't trying to buy your friendship. I'm sorry if something in your life is making you lash out at us but we do not deserve these attacks. If you can't be nice go home, I'll happily get your ticket changed." Alexander says.

"I'm sorry. I really worry for you. You seem to have forgotten just how evil Peter can be." Jay says

Alexander walks out and I follow him we go to bed not really speaking. I don't know if I need to defend myself or not.

He runs his hand over my face "I love you Peter." Kisses me and falls asleep.

I sleep late, the others have all gone to their meetings, I guess Blair has Jay tagging along too.

I go on the bus tour again, hopping off to take pictures and behaving like a total tourist. Alexander messages me to say they'll be late as they're having dinner at the office.

That's good for me. I get dressed, and get a cab to the area near the club. I'm scared. I go in the restaurant across the street and get a window seat. I order and take my time. Not sure if I'll go in or not.

A hot guy comes in dressed in a suit, looks like he's had a long day. Wow he is hot, I can't stop starring. He joins me, sitting across the table and orders a drink.

"Too scared to go in?" He motions across the road.

I shrug.

We talk casually for a bit, he tells me he's a lawyer, I ask if he's heard of Mart's firm, he has. I say I'm a student.

He stares at me hard.

"What are you really after?" He asks.

"Right now I need someone to put me in my place, tan my hide and fuck me into next week." I say quite honestly, shocked at myself for telling a stranger my desires.

He stands up and moves to sit next to me and whispers in my ear in a voice of steel.

"What makes you think you deserve such a treat?"

My cock is pulsing.

"Stand up, let me see that butt." He says in the same steel voice.

I obey.

He runs his hands over my ass, and gropes at my cock through my pants.

"Okay lets go."

I blindly follow him out.

The next morning he drops me off on his way to work.

I creep into the room, sore and bruised and utterly satisfied.

Alexander wakes as I come in, he looks at me, stands and undresses me, takes me into the shower and washes me gently, not saying a word. I've no idea how mad he is. I know I did a risky thing.

Back in the room he dries me off then starts putting arnica cream on my bruises, I direct him to areas that are tender.

"What kind of stupid idiot are you, not calling, not letting me know where you were."Alexander says coldly.

"I just didn't think. I didn't go in to the club, I went to this guys place." I start to explain.

"You went to a strangers place without letting anyone know where you were going. You idiot fuck." Alexander continues. The whole time he is berating me he's tenderly caring for my sore body, its the most erotic thing ever. He's making me feel so ashamed and so loved. My cock is fully erect, he ignores it and continues what he's doing.

"You know how fucking dangerous what you've done is. You're a disgrace." Alexander continues and I let out a whimper.

"Don't ever go off like that again." He finally says putting the cream away.

I'm stood there, humiliated staring at the floor.

In my ear he says, cold as ice.

"Finish yourself off, get dressed we're going to breakfast, you can sleep on the plane."

In two strokes I'm finished. I clean up and get dressed. As I'm dressing Alexander is packing the rest of my stuff.

Alexander

Back at school we're soon back into the swing of things. Peter and I haven't yet spoken of his night out. I want to tell him I understand, that I've put myself in risky situations too but I'm not strong enough yet to face just how worried I was that night.

I continue therapy via video conference twice a week and push for it to be reduced as I'm busy at school. My weight is doing okay and I'm allowed to work out again.

I begin rehearsals for the one act plays. I'm enjoying the work and suggested Eric for one of the pieces so we'll get to see each other at least once a week.

About 2 weeks after spring break I wake up really early with a huge boner. I pull on some shorts and go to the bathroom. I'm a rock again by the time I'm back in the room.

I look at Peter, he's sleeping facing the wall. I slip into his bed and nuzzle against him, my hard on against his crack, I lightly kiss his neck and squeeze him close.

"Someone's up early." Peter mumbles.

I push harder against him.

"Someones up." Peter says again rolling over to face me. I give him a big grin and we kiss for a minute. He climbs over me to go to the bathroom and I lie in his bed enjoying his scent all around me, enjoying the feel of my body working again, I may have dozed for a moment with a big grin.

He climbs back in and lies on top of me, kissing me so passionately.

"The things I want to do to you." Peter says suggestively.

I just grin, I've no words.

I roll on top kissing him madly, he fingers my ass as we continue to make out, I'm close to the edge, very close but I know I've got so much in the tank that I can go all day and then some. I buck against his stomach and he continues stretching me ready and kissing me, he rolls me onto my back and I shoot.

"Fuck I've missed seeing that baby." Peter says leaning me off. I'm still beaming, with no words. My dick stays hard, it's going no where now its working again.

"I want you so bad." Peter whispers and I moan in response.

He rolls me onto my belly and spreads lube on me, continuing the work with his fingers.

"Mmmmm" Is still all I can say.

He enters me slowly and he feels so good, there's no pain, just him, filling me up, making me feel right.

He lies on top of me kissing the nape of my neck, I turn my head to kiss him. I love the feel of his body against mine, I'm rubbing against the bed and reveling of the feel of him big and deep inside me.

"Oh baby you feel so good, so good." Peter says continuing a slow rhythm.

"Only for you, baby, only for you." I say.

He begins a gradual pace increase and I cry out with pleasure, and he joins me calling out my name, pushing deep into me, my breath quickens and he maneuvers me onto my back, I raise my legs high so he can fill me deep.

"Need you baby." I say.

I begin to stroke myself, looking up at my man, so fucking sexy, his arm muscles look amazing, I realize I'm moaning loudly, and he is grunting louder with each push.

I let go and shoot again, breathless and he finishes deep inside me. He pulls out removes the condom and rubs his dick against mine as the last of our cum eeks out.

I look at him and smile, I can't smile any wider.

He is still kneeling above me, looking down, I feel a little vulnerable.

"Now, I'm not doing that again until you are my boyfriend." He says.

"But I don't think I can go again right now. Give me a minute." I say, cheekily.

"Boyfriends?" Peter asks.

"Boyfriends." I say.

We kiss, not caring how messy we are. We doze for a bit wrapped up together.

I wake again, still 30minutes before my alarm. I'm still horny, I really need to make up for lost time. I kiss Peter gently, running my hands all over him, hungry for him.

"My boyfriend is horny." Peter says kissing me back.

"Your boyfriend is, very horny." I reply.

Peter lies on his back, hands behind his head giving me the invitation to worship his body and I do. I kiss every inch of his torso, lick his beautiful dick and balls, holding them up so I can feast on his crack.

"I've missed you down there." Peter grins.

I look up for a moment then drive my tongue into his hole. He holds his legs apart for me.

"My boyfriend is so good." Peter says.

I continue, making him feel great then worrying about time I get ready. Pushing in slowly I scream out in joy.

"Fuck I love this, I love you." I cry out.

I quickly build up the pace, leaning in to kiss him, he grabs my back and wont let go, we rock together, I'm pushing in so deep and he's rising up to meet me. I move back to watch him. He looks amazing, his cock is so beautiful against his body. I push in slower and slower, aiming for his place. He looks at me in joy as I graze it.

"There, there, THERE." he cries.

I keep going, turning him to the side to ease the aim. He's gripping the sheets, his cock is twitching and leaking and he looks so fucking hot. I can't go on much longer then he begins to moan louder than ever, grabbing the sheets tighter he bucks against me and comes hard. It's fucking beautiful. I pull out and add my cum to his all over his belly and cock.

"That was the best ever. The absolute best ever." Peter says hugging me close.

"My first time with my boyfriend." I say, grinning like mad.

"Seriously Alexander, that was the best ever. Ever, ever." Peter says "My boyfriend is the best."

Thanks for reading. Things are finally looking up for Alexander, he's in a good place. No more sadness for a while, thanks for sticking with him through the bad times.

Any feedback to the email above or hit me on mansambam.tumblr.com