Angst

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not write about frank sexual situaions, nor do I have any desire to.

This is a story about teen love and discovery. Still though, it is a gay work of fiction.

If such work offends you or you are not old enough to read in your area, then do not continue reading.

Please do not copy and paste onto another website without emailing me first. In most cases I'd be glad to let you post on another site, as long as you ask first!

Angst Episode 43 "The Life You Never Have"

Gino wasn't really sure what his plan was at this point.

He thought that using Sam would be the most perfect idea yet. But that hadn't worked and had only made things worse, considering the fact that everyone believed he was happily in love with Sam.

The thought alone repulsed him, but he just had to make due with it.

He still had Chris and Adam to contend with, but he figured they'd be out of the picture soon enough.

They weren't.

Needless to say, today, he was pretty despondent about life and he made sure it showed as he walked down the halls of the school.

Only, it kind of seemed like he was getting more attention than usual.

It seemed like everyone was taking note of him in some way, which generally didn't happen, even though he was a fairly popular person.

If that wasn't any indication that things were weird, the kiss that Brandon planted on his lips as soon as he got close enough to him, sealed the deal.

Gino was so shocked, he nearly fell over backwards.

Brandon got off of him, giggling a little.

"Okay, what...does my breath stink or something?" he asked.

Gino flashed him a confused stare.

"What?" Brandon asked.

Gino wanted to know 'what' himself.

"Why did you just kiss me?" he asked.

Brandon turned around to face his open locker.

"If you're gonna be a little bitch about me kissing you like that, then-"

"Huh?" Gino spoke, getting on the side of Brandon as he went through his locker.

Brandon sighed and turned to face Gino.

"Okay let me explain it to you in simple terms," he started. "Me? I'm your boyfriend....and you...you're my boyfriend. Hence, the kiss."

Gino knew his jaw had fallen open as he stared with wild amazement at Brandon.

Had he heard him right? Had he just said that he was....his boyfriend?

"What?"

"Ugh, Gino...I thought you only did the cute, innocent thing during sex," Brandon spoke. "Now it's just kinda weird."

Gino just stood at Brandon's locker, confused as Brandon started down the hallway.

"Gino...come on!" Brandon called.

Gino looked around before catching up to Brandon.

"Brandon.....I don't understand what's going on..." he said.

Brandon looked over at him.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well...I don't know....aren't you dating...Adam?" Gino asked.

Brandon stopped and looked over at Gino.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Answer the question Brandon," Gino replied. "Because I'm not in the mood for games."

And quite frankly, he couldn't see how Brandon was either.

Just last week they'd both watched two people die. One of which shot himself.

That was a troublesome thing for anyone to have to deal with.

But, apparently, Brandon must didn't care as much as he did.

And not only that, he was so grateful that Gino had saved him, that now he was willing or least willing to pretend to be his boyfriend, the very thing he'd been wanting since he'd met Brandon.

"Gino...I don't know what your talking about..." Brandon replied. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Gino tried to study the expression on Brandon's face to see if maybe there was something going on.

But he actually looked confused by his behavior.

"Uh...where's everyone?" Gino asked.

"Well," Brandon started, resuming his walking, Gino following. "Ryan and Michelle are probably in some closet masking out somewhere-"

"They got back together?" Gino asked.

Although, he didn't find it strange that if they had, that they were in a closet making out.

"Um...sure...but you know them," Brandon reply. "They break up like once a month."

"No that's not what I meant-"

"And then Chris and John-"

"What?"

Brandon stopped so abruptly that Gino bumped into his back, nearly falling to the ground.

"Gino, what's wrong with you today?" Brandon asked.

"Me?" Gino spoke. "What's wrong with you? I mean, two days ago you watched somebody blow their brains out and today-"

"Who blew their brains out?"

Gino froze once he saw who'd asked the question.

Standing before him was a very sane looking, very alive, John.

He was with Chris, and the two were holding hands like they were a couple.

"What's going on here?" Gino asked.

"Gino's high or something," Brandon spoke. "He's not making any sense."

Gino thought that statement was funny because it was everyone else who wasn't making sense to him.

John was dead. And even if he wasn't, he would not be here at his school holding hands with Chris talking with Brandon as if the two didn't have a history together.

"I think I need to lie down," Gino mumbled, running his hands through his hair.

"That's what you get for stocking up on all those kamikazes last night," Chris spoke. "We told you to slow it down."

Gino found this all strange.

Last night he'd been with his mother and father at another counseling session, where they went into great detail about his exploits and adventures of late.

And Chris? There was no way he'd have gone anywhere with him.

"Look...if you're feeling a little hung-over, I can take you home..if you want me to.." Brandon started.

"You have a car?" Gino asked.

Chris chuckled out loud.

"He has a garage full of them, remember?" he spoke. "You're like dating the richest guy in school."

"Are you sure he's your best friend?" Brandon asked.

That was the last straw.

Gino couldn't take anymore. Something was going on and he didn't like it.

And everyone was about to know he didn't like it.

"Alright...you can stop now, everybody can stop now!" he shouted.

The people nearby slowed down and looked in his direction.

"You can cut the humoring Gino act out. I get it," Gino continued.

Brandon, Chris and John all stared at Gino as he had his panic attack.

"I mean, I understand it...you pretending to be my boyfriend when you're dating Adam Ventura-"

"Whoa...what?" Brandon asked.

"And you, Chris pretending to be my best friend when you know we hate each other-"

"I know we argue sometimes, but I wouldn't go that far-"

"And John...well, I guess you didn't die after all-"

"Die?" John asked.

"But I don't know what you're doing here....I want you to go away and stay away from Brandon!"

Gino was breathing heavily and looked a little like he was having a panic attack, which he could tell due to having looked up at one of the mirrors hanging from the corners.

He could also see the highly dazed looks on everyone's faces.

"Why are guys looking at me like that?" Gino asked.

"You're right, Brandon," Chris spoke. "He has lost it."

Gino couldn't see how everyone thought he was the one going crazy when they were the ones acting strange.

"Come on....just stop...this isn't funny..." Gino pleaded. "Please...."

He could see everyone staring at him with concern.

"Gino....we don't understand what you're talking about," Chris started, putting his hand on Gino's shoulder.

"No..don't touch me!" Gino shouted, throwing Chris's hand off of him.

"Gino-"

"Stay back!" Gino shouted.

He didn't like Chris one little bit so he wasn't about to stand for him touching him and trying to calm him down like he was some kind of loon.

"Come on, Gino I'm trying to help you-"

"Stay back.....stay back.....stay back......"

That was the last thing he remembered saying before things grew dark and he fell to the ground. ******************************************************************************* ********************************

"I guess I was feeling.....afraid," I said.

I looked over at Dr. Carrington as he scribbled something onto his notepad.

I hadn't really gotten a chance to look around the room even though I'd been coming here the past three days.

Nothing like mandated grief counseling sessions.

"So John comes back, but like you said you were expecting him to-"

"Not exactly," I replied. "I mean, I thought that someone had been following me but I didn't think...."

Dr. Carrington just stared at me.

"I guess I just didn't wanna think it was him," I replied.

"Because you were afraid," Dr. Carrington spoke.

"Yeah."

Of course, I'd already said that.

John was a scary person.

He'd proven time and time again that he was entirely capable of getting to me if that was what he wanted to do.

And apparently, that was all he had wanted to do.

Get to me.

But he was gone and never coming back.

Just like Luis was gone and never coming back. And Justin.

"So how do you feel now that John is...gone?" Dr. Carrington asked.

"Relieved....I mean, I kept telling myself that he needed help, but everytime he was around...he kept coming after me," I replied. "I guess...I'm happy he can't do that anymore, thanks to Gino."

"Ah yes, Gino Liongson...you're friend, son of the millionaire software mogul, correct?" Dr. Carrington asked.

"Yeah...Gino really cares about me and I see that now," I replied. "He used to be in love with me."

"Really?"

"Yeah, but he's not anymore. He has a boyfriend now."

"How can you be sure he's not in love with you anymore?" Dr. Carrington asked.

I flashed him a confused look and sat up a little.

"I don't know....I mean....he has Sam...I thought-"

"You said so yourself, he saved you from John, multiple times," Dr. Carrington replied. "And each time he was putting himself in harms way to save your life."

"Yeah but....he can't still be in love with me....I mean...if you love someone you don't tell them you aren't in love with them while you're dating someone else."

Dr. Carrington just nodded and scribbled more things down on that notepad of his.

That made me nervous.

I didn't have to hide things from him because he'd said he was keeping everything confidential. But.....

He just looked up at me and flashed me a coy little smile that I returned partially.

"And what about Gino? Is he still-"

"Sick? Yeah," I replied. "I guess he must have spent too much time in the rain." ******************************************************************************* *********************************************

Gino opened his eyes slowly, sitting up quickly when he saw where he was.

The nurses office at school?

In all his time spent at the high school, he'd never seen the inside of the nurses office. The only reason why he knew that he was in the nurses office was because of all the medical equipment he saw nearby. Equipment he hoped hadn't been used on him....

"Oh, good...you're up," Brandon spoke, rushing over to Gino, throwing his arms around him.

"Finally," John spoke. "I was getting bored waiting around here."

"Hey speak for yourself," Chris said. "Getting out of three classes is okay with me anyday."

Gino watched as Chris and John walked over and stood on the side of his bed, joining Brandon, who released him from the hug.

"Are you okay now? I mean, you were acting really...creepy, before," Brandon spoke.

Gino still didn't see how he'd been the one acting strange, but for the sake of trying to get to the bottom of what was going on he decided that he'd just play along with whatever game he was sure was going on.

'Uh, yeah, I'm fine," he spoke, getting off of the bed. "I think you were right....Chris. Maybe I did have too many drinks last night."

"See, best friends always right," Chris spoke.

Gino had to work hard to keep himself from cringing when Chris said those words.

"Well, if you're sure you're okay...I guess we can go," Brandon spoke. "The nurse just told us to let you rest for a little bit..."

"Nurse Hotbody," Chris joked.

"Chris, you're gay," Brandon spoke.

"What? If she has a hot body, she has a hot body."

"Nevermind the fact that that's just completely random and corny," John spoke.

Gino had allowed himself to be led down the hallway by Brandon, Chris and a very much alive John, taking in the sights and sound along the way.

Everything about the school was the same.

From the sheer amount of students, to the large amount of room between each hallway.

The school still looked like it had been built last week and everyone in the school at least looked vaguely familiar to him.

"So that thing you said earlier, about Brandon dating Adam Ventura....how in the world did you come up something crazy like that?" Chris asked.

Gino looked over at Chris, trying to remember that in this crazy psycho whacked out world that he'd traveled to, he and Chris were both best friends instead of enemies.

"I don't know....maybe because it's true...or at least I thought it was true," Gino replied.

"Probably the vodka talking earlier," John spoke. "Because trust me, your boyfriend would never be caught dead with someone like Adam Ventura."

No sooner had the words left John's mouth did Gino notice Adam standing at his locker with Jade and Alex.

"Oh hey look, there's Jade and Alex," he spoke.

"Oh yeah...just two of the three most vicious people in the school," Chris spoke. "Everyone hates them because they're all gorgeous, rich, and run the school."

"Oh and I'm none of those things?" Brandon asked playfully.

"Two out of three, isn't bad," Chris replied

Gino found the fact that there was such a weird split between groups even more strange than everything else.

"Alex Rodriguez, captain of the football team, dating the captain of the cheerleading team, Jade Cooper, and best friends with Adam Ventura, the most conniving sonofabitch you'll ever meet."

"Wait a second....Jade and Alex?" Gino spoke.

"For as long as we can remember," Chris retorted. "And they just wouldn't be the same bitchy assholes without the constant backing of the king of bitchy assholes, Mr. Ventura himself."

Gino watched as Jade and Alex kissed, before Adam shoved Alex away from them.

"Of course, you know all that right?" Chris asked.

"Oh yeah...of course," Gino replied.

"I think Gino wants to go say hi," John replied. "I mean, sure they're both yummy, delicious and nutritious, but a lot of things that are bad for you tend to be that way."

Gino was just trying to grasp the situation as he continued to watch Adam, Jade, and Alex.

"So what about Vanessa and Krystal?" Gino asked.

"Oh...well I don't know who they are," Chris replied. "But if you get to be a weird loser, then so do I."

Gino stopped when everyone else did, at one of the fours lockers.

"So I'm stopping by the photographers after school to pick up prom photos," Chris started. "I swear though, if they kept the one where my eyes we're closed..."

"You're gonna what, Chris? Run circles around them like the little track dud you are?" John spoke.

Gino couldn't really believe what was going on, but if this was how it was going to be from now on, then he was going to have to make it work, however weird it was.

"So...what's everyone's schedules looking like?" Gino asked.

Chris and John exchanged glances and got quiet while Brandon looked over at him.

"Um....we had plans remember?" Brandon said. "Romantic type plans..."

"Wait a second....like-"

"I got some surprises in store for you," Brandon spoke, wrapping his arms around Gino.

Gino didn't mind this part of this strange world at all.

All along the only thing he wanted was to just be with Brandon.

That's all he wanted. With all the schemes and planning....that's all it was for.

"Well to that I say, bring on tonight," Gino grinned. ******************************************************************************* ************************

"God, and what's with the guys shifty perverted eyes?" Michelle spoke, opening her bottle of expensive water and taking a sip. "He's old enough to be my dad's dad!"

"Dr. Carrington is a pretty nice guy, if you ask me," I found myself saying.

At least he seemed to be a pretty good listener. There wasn't much time for small talk really.

"I still don't see why WE have to talk to him," Michelle spoke. "We weren't around for the majority of all these shootings like you guys were."

She was right. She wasn't around when Adam got shot. Or when Justin got shot. Or when Luis and John were shot.

"It says wonders that it's a sentence you even have to speak, doesn't it?" Jade asked.

"I just think with the school year ending in a few weeks, we should be focusing on college and what were gonna do once we graduate," Michelle replied.

"What are we gonna do when we graduate?" Alex asked. "I mean, we haven't really talked about it."

That question had everyone growing quiet.

Last year, we were all such different people.

I hadn't even known the majority of people I did now. But I wouldn't want to live life without being able to see them like I could today. Even Michelle.

"I....don't know..." Jade started. "We're all such different people. When it comes to scholastic aptitude.....I'm sure we all have different colleges in mind..."

I guess now was as good a time as any to talk about college. We hadn't really had time before. We were stuck in soap opera land most of the time.

"Obviously," Michelle started. "I mean...you and Krystal will be going off to Yale or Harvard, Adam and Alex have scholarships to anywhere they want to go, Gino can buy himself into any school, and the rest of us get what we can get pretty much."

No one said anything probably because we all knew Michelle was completely right about all of it.

"Well I mean....nothing's set in stone yet..." Jade strayed.

"Yeah but we have to decide soon.....we don't have a lot of time left..." Michelle spoke.

Once again no one said anything, but this time, even I could sense that something was up.

"What?" Michelle asked.

"It's just...you don't wait until the last minute when it comes to Yale and Harvard, Michelle," Jade spoke.

Michelle looked between both Krystal and Jade, who weren't exactly returning her stares.

"So what are you saying then?" Michelle asked, sounding slightly worried.

"Well...we had to make a decision..."

"Are you trying to tell me you picked a college without telling anyone?" Michelle asked.

Jade and Krystal exchanged glances.

This was shocking to me as well, considering Jade was one of my best friends. I told her almost any and everything. I thought she'd at least do the same with me.

"Great so while you're up in Connecticut or Massachusetts somewhere sipping on mocha lattes discussing quantum physics, the rest of us will be here slowly becoming the

country hicks everyone makes Texans out to be."

"Michelle-"

"No I get it," Michelle spoke, gathering her stuff. "If I was smart, then I could have applied with you, right? But since I'm not, it's all, screw the dumb blonde let's hope she doesn't notice."

"Michelle," Jade spoke standing up, but I stood up and stopped her from trying to stop Michelle from leaving, who went ahead and left. "Brandon...what're you doing?"

"Don't act like you can't understand where she's coming from," I spoke, trying to keep the bitterness out of my voice. "We're all going through....changes right now."

"I just want her to understand-"

"She's not going to...none of us will," I replied. "Our lives are changing. Somebody's gonna be upset no matter what...."

And I suddenly didn't feel like facing Jade anymore and decided to take off as well.

"Gay dudes...." Alex mumbled. ******************************************************************************* *********************************

Gino was pretty sure he had everything pieced together.

In this world, Gino had what he wanted. Which was Brandon.

He was best friends with Chris, who was dating John, who not only went to this school but wasn't dead.

That in itself was highly strange but he was dealing with it.

Then there was everyone else.

Apparently, Krystal and Vanessa just didn't exist. Either that or they'd fallen of the face of the Earth somewhere. Same difference.

Adam, Jade, and Alex were all rich, which wasn't true at all in real life, or the other life...or whatever....and they were apparently also jackasses, or so said Brandon, Chris and John.

Still, that hadn't stopped him from wanting to at least try talking with Jade or Alex to see for himself whether or not they were as bad as everyone thought. Adam....not so much.

"So I heard from Northland," Chris spoke. "They're currently reviewing my application and will give me a response soon."

"You sound like you're reading a letter," Brandon spoke.

"More or less what was in it, anyway," Chris replied.

"Christian..babe...didn't you send that out like....in January?" John asked.

"Yeah...so," Chris replied, shaking a ketchup bottle.

"Well it's almost May...I think you should have gotten an answer by now," John replied.

"You know how colleges are...they gotta be thorough," Chris replied.

Gino didn't know why, but for some reason he just couldn't take his eyes off of Alex, Jade, and Adam.

Since he'd known Brandon, he'd also known them as well. They were all best friends. Or at least....they were supposed to be.

"Hey, so tell me more about the horrible threesome over there," Gino spoke, changing the subject.

He could tell that none of them wanted to really talk about the three of them, but Gino couldn't help his curiosity.

"Gino..you're still kinda acting like you came from the Twilight Zone or something," Chris spoke. "You sure you're alright?"

Gino looked over everyone's concerned faces before responding.

To him, this was the Twilight Zone, but he realized he was gonna have to start acting like he knew what was going on before someone had him committed.

"Humor me," he replied.

"You're one silly little man you know that," Chris spoke.

"Er, there's nothing little about him..trust me," Brandon spoke, with a grin on his face.

Gino really liked the fact that he had what he wanted, for the most part. But he was still curious.

"Okay...you wanna know why they're all so bad? Here goes," Chris started.

Gino sat back as he prepared to hear Chris out.

"When we were all in the fifth grade, you, Alex, and I were all best friends until Adam Ventura moved to Meadowbrook and shook things up completely."

Gino noticed that Chris hadn't said anything about John or Brandon yet.

"Alex wanted to do football..we of course, being the gay guys that we are, didn't..yada..yada...needless to say, Alex became captain of the school football team, and Adam became permanently attached to his side...his right hand man, so to speak."

Gino found this to be kind of like Adam and Ryan, with details being slightly different in some areas.

"Anyway, Alex basically figured he was too popular to hang with a bunch of loser fags and just stopped talking to us...at first," Chris continued.

Gino looked over at Alex who was whispering something in a giggling Jade's ear.

"It wasn't until we got to high school when the shit hit the fan," Chris began again. "See, apparently, Adam didn't see how Alex could have ever been friends with someone like us and he let Alex know it, every day for weeks before finally, Alex relented and started picking on us."

Gino found it strange to think that Alex had picked on him. He'd never been picked on in his entire life, and while if ever in a fight with Alex, Alex would most likely win, he still could take most anyone on that tried to pick on him.

"Remember the swirlies man?" Chris asked.

Gino hadn't been aware Chris was talking to him.

"Oh..us, yeah, sure," he replied, taking his eyes away from Alex, Adam, and Jade. "Remember them well."

"Well, continuing on for the hell of it..." Chris sighed. "That wasn't the worst of it. Remember that time I got those braces back in ninth grade and had to wear those rubber bands in my mouth?"

"Er...sure," Gino replied.

"I never told you this, but Alex and Adam used to take them out of my mouth and snap them back at me. Really hurt..."

"Aww...babe," John spoke, kissing the top of Chris's hand.

Gino shuddered and rolled his eyes.

"But...is that all? I mean....I like to think I'm not a punk-"

"So do I," Brandon spoke.

"Yeah....I mean....they just picked on you? That's it?"

"Well...there was a time when Brandon over here thought he was hopeselessly in love with Adam," Chris spoke.

"What?" Gino asked.

"But you know about that," Brandon replied. "I mean, we've been through it and it's over with."

"Are you sure?" Gino asked.

Brandon took Gino's hand into his and looked him in the eyes.

"Gino...you don't have anything to worry about," he said. "I promise."

That little detail was probably the only thing that hadn't surprised Gino about this world. Brandon being in love with Adam.

The only difference was, Brandon actually had Adam in the real world. Here.....Gino had Brandon, and he liked that.

"If only there was a way you could show me....." Gino spoke seductively.

"Um, during lunch? Eww," Chris spoke, shoving his tray of food away.

Speaking of, Gino hadn't even bothered to get any and he still had almost half an hour of the lunch hour left.

"Okay fellow homosexual Americans," he spoke standing up. "I'm gonna go get a little grub."

"Oh, I'll come with you," Brandon spoke, starting to get up.

"No it's okay....I'll be right back," Gino replied.

He wanted to relish this situation and wanted to take a look around while he went.

As he walked over to the Taco Bell line, he realized that everything was different when it came to the groups of people in the school with Alex, Jade, and Adam being the most popular of them all.

In the real world, there really weren't any splits between groups at school. Everyone just kind of blended together and got along.

Here, Gino could clearly distinguish each group. The jocks, Goths, nerds...every cliché group was present.

He just made a mental note of it as he got a place in line.

"Loser says what?"

"What..." Gino spoke turning around to see who'd talked to him.

Standing behind him was Alex.

As of late, Gino had been getting along really well with Alex and would consider him his best friend next to Brandon.

But he could definitely feel the hostility coming from this worlds Alex, letting him know things were really different here.

"Can't believe you still fall for that one, Zachie-boy," Alex spoke, cutting Gino in line and turning to face him, arms crossed.

Gino took a step back. Gino hated his middle name and hadn't even been aware Alex knew it. Apparently that thing about them being good friends a long time ago was really true here.

"It's Gino," Gino replied carefully. "And I think you were actually behind me."

"No, that position belongs to your pussyfoot assfucking bitch over there," Alex replied.

Gino really didn't like this Alex. He was kinda like his worlds Chris.

"You know, they told me about you," Gino started. "Guess I had to see things with my own two eyes before I could believe it though."

Alex chuckled to himself.

"You know, that day you became a bitch instead of the man you used to be, I made a bet with Adam that you'd end up a burned out loser with no friends-"

"I have friends."

And a boyfriend, he thought.

"No, you have a fag following," Alex replied. "Or in other words, your own version of Will and Grace."

Gino was really starting to get annoyed.

This may have been a different reality, but he certainly wasn't a different person. A punk.

"What's your problem?" Gino asked. "What did I ever do to you?"

"Gee, I don't know...what did you ever do to me Gino?" Alex asked.

"I heard Adam is the real brains of the operation," Gino replied. "I mean...he is the one that turned you against us."

"I was never with you fags, you understand-"

"Hey baby, what's taking so long?" Jade spoke, snuggling up to Alex.

Gino eyed Alex, who put his arm around Jade and eyed him viciously.

"Just ran into a bit of a pest problem, hun," Alex replied. "Nothing to worry about."

Jade looked over at Gino with an amused look.

"Your that gay kid, right?" she asked.

"Jade..."

"What? Just asking...."

"Hun, why don't you go have a seat and wait for me, okay?" Alex spoke.

Jade looked between Alex and Gino before sighing and walking off.

Gino could clearly see that Jade was nowhere near as smart as she was in real life, and that bothered him a little.

"Can I help you with something, shitwipe?" Alex asked.

Gino eyed him intensely before looking back over towards where he'd been sitting previously to notice Adam talking with Brandon.

"Wha..." Gino mumbled.

Alex looked over to where Adam was and then back at Gino, who had since left Alex in favor of going back to his table.

"What the hell is going on here?" Gino asked, as soon as he got back to the table.

Adam, who was leaned over the table near Brandon, stood up and looked over at Gino with a grin.

"Whoa, Captain Blowhard," he spoke. "What's the deal?"

"No, what's your deal?" Gino demanded.

"Gino, calm down!" Brandon spoke, still sitting down.

"Adam...what're you doing associating with the Gay Crusader Club?" Alex asked, harshly.

"Actually, that never panned out," Chris spoke, raising his hand.

"Shut up, you fucking geek!" Alex snapped.

"Okay," Chris replied, lowering his hand.

"Hey, don't talk to him like that!" Gino shouted. "And what the hell were you talking to my boyfriend about, Adam?"

"Yeah...I'd like to know the answer to that too?" Alex asked, crossing his arms.

By now, a lot of the people in the cafeteria had stopped doing whatever they were doing in favor of paying attention to what was going on between Gino and Alex.

"You know my annual end of the year party is tonight, right?" Adam started.

"Yeah...and?" Alex asked.

"Well," Adam started, putting his arms around Brandon's shoulders.

Gino frowned at the interaction.

"I was just inviting the goof troop here, to come."

"What?!" Alex exclaimed. "Are you out of your mind?"

"My house, my party, my guests," Adam replied. "Besides, were all seniors right? We gotta grow up sometime."

Alex ran his hands over his face and let out an annoyed sigh before grabbing Adam and pulling him aside.

"What are you doing-"

"Alex relax.....I don't do shit just for the hell of it," Adam replied.

"Well then spill-"

"In due time man, in due time," Adam grinned before looking back over at Gino, who shot him a furtive glance. ******************************************************************************* ****************************************

"So......let's talk about the shooting," Dr. Carrington started.

Michelle continued filling her nails, not looking up at him.

"What about it? I mean, I already told you I wasn't even there," she replied.

"Yes but your friends were," Dr. Carrington replied. "You spend quite a bit of time with them and I was wondering how you felt they were doing?"

Michelle blew her nails and looked up at Dr. Carrington.

"Look, it's not like they were gun virgins," she spoke. "Or virgins to watching people die. If you knew half the stuff we've been through..."

"Yes..I think I know all about how you sought out to destroy Brandon-"

Michelle looked dead at Dr. Carrington.

"What does that have to do with-"

"Nothing. I'm sorry, I should move along-"

"Yes, you really should," Michelle spoke, bitterly.

"Let's talk about you for a moment, if we could."

Michelle watched as Dr. Carrington flipped to another sheet in his tablet and moved a little in his chair.

"Now...on Monday, you told me that you had a great relationship with your parents, yet I've tried to contact them with the number you gave me and their voicemail tells me they're both somewhere south of Mexico-"

"Oh they're in Russia now," Michelle corrected.

"Right......how often do you see them? Your parents I mean?"

Michelle cleared her throat and played with her fingers.

"Is that really important right now...I mean, I thought I was here to talk about how the shooting affected me-"

"And we are..this is just part of my process-"

"You aren't convincing me here, doc," Michelle replied.

Dr. Carrington eyed Michelle for a moment before responding.

"It must be difficult, not seeing your parents enough-"

"Hey I see them plenty! And actually I think we need to start calling them what they are, my mother and her rich sugar daddy. My dad's.....well...not around...."

"So..if you see them enough...what kind of college do you think they want you to attend?" Dr. Carrington asked.

Michelle started to speak but stopped and looked down.

"I don't think it would matter.....and it doesn't now..I mean, my friends are....well those bitches can burn in hell for all I care."

"Michelle-"

"I think we've gotten far enough off topic and wasted enough time for today, wouldn't you agree?" Michelle asked standing up.

"Yes...I-"

"Are we done here, then?"

Dr. Carrington eyed Michelle before nodding slightly.

"We're finished," he replied. ******************************************************************************* ******************************************

Gino reached behind Brandon to pull off his shirt as the two continued to make out on top of Brandon's bed.

"Ugh, god you sure are feisty tonight," Brandon gasped, as he took off his shirt.

Gino jumped back on top of Brandon and started kissing him again.

They switched positions, Brandon now on top of Gino.

Brandon started kissing on Gino's neck, going lower and lower.

Gino couldn't believe this was happening. For so long, this was what he'd been wanting.

And it was amazing...it really was...only.....Gino couldn't seem to take his mind off of what had happened earlier.

"So....that was interesting, what happened at school," Gino spoke, as Brandon started to undo the button on his pants.

"Yeah," Brandon replied, reaching into Gino's pants.

Gino opened his eyes and put his hands behind his head.

"I mean....Adam just talking to you out of the blue...it's kinda weird."

"Yeah, weird," Brandon replied, pulling down Gino's pants.

"And what he asked you, I mean can you believe that?" Gino spoke. "As if you'd ever go to his party."

Gino noticed Brandon stop for a moment before starting again.

"Yeah....right," he replied.

Gino frowned and sat up, forcing Brandon to have to sit up as well.

"Gino....come on!"

"That was a half assed, yeah, Brandon," Gino spoke.

Brandon sighed.

"What do you want me to say, Gino?" Brandon asked. "He asked, you showed up before I had a chance to...to tell him no, and then that was the end of it."

"So if I asked you to promise me not go to that party.....you'd promise me right?" Gino asked.

Brandon eyed Gino before replying.

"Brandon! Promise me you won't go to Adam's party tonight!"

"Alright, I promise," Brandon replied.

"Good..." Gino replied.

Although, hearing Brandon say it hadn't made him feel the least bit better. ******************************************************************************* ************************

"So....I spoke with Michelle earlier," Dr. Carrington started. "It seems like she's...having a few difficulties with you and Krystal today."

Jade sighed and rubbed her arm.

"She's overacting," Jade replied. "I mean....nothing's been decided."

"What is this nothing that has yet to be decided?"

"Where we all want to go to college," Jade replied. "None of us have really picked out any one college yet."

"And why do you think that is?" Dr. Carrington asked.

Jade didn't say anything, instead just looked around the room.

Dr. Carrington just waited until Jade finally did speak up.

"I guess none of us want to face the fact that we might all never see each other again," she finally spoke.

Dr. Carrington just wrote a few things on to his notepad and looked back up at Jade who cleared her throat.

"Um, I'm sorry...I thought we were supposed to be talking about the shooting."

"Oh yes, the shooting," Dr. Carrington spoke. "I understand you and your friends have all been through your fair share of misadventures."

"Well yeah...but we got through everything okay.....well...except for......" Jade looked down.

"Let's talk about your friend Gino," Dr. Carrington started.

"What about him?" Jade asked.

"Well, he is the one who saved your friends lives," Dr. Carrington spoke. "What's he like?"

"I don't know....he's fine I guess. I mean, he was in love with Brandon but that's over now," Jade replied.

"You sure about that?" Dr. Carrington asked.

Jade looked up at Dr. Carrington with a bemused look on her face.

"I'm not exactly sure I get your methods here...Dr. Carrington," she spoke.

"Just....piecing some things together," Dr. Carrington replied.

"Hm...well Gino isn't perfect," Jade replied. "He's just like the rest of us. And whenever he comes back to school...you can find out everything you wanna know about him, from him." ******************************************************************************* ***************************************************

"Mail call, mail call!" Chris announced as he and John entered Gino's tiny apartment, something that he was still trying to get used to.

"We brought sustenance," John spoke as he held up a few boxes of pizza.

"Where's Brandon?" Gino asked.

"Oh, he said he'd be here later," Chris replied. "Something about helping his dad pick out a new Jaguar."

"The boys got more money than he knows what to do with," John replied, taking a seat on the sofa in the living room.

"I can think of ways to spend it for him," Chris grinned.

"God, you're such a pervert you know that," John spoke.

"Yes, but I'm a cute one, you know that," Chris replied.

Gino was still worried about Brandon.

Sure they said he was out picking out a car with his father but.....

"So, I picked up Mean Girls and Raise Your Voice for all our Lindsay and Hilary needs," Chris started. "I figure we can take bathroom breaks or something whenever either of them open their mouths and start singing."

"God you should've rented.....what's that movie Brad Pitt is naked in?" John asked.

"Alexander?"

"No that's the one Colin Farrell is naked in-"

"Saving Ryan's Privates?"

"No that's a porno..and why didn't you bring that too? The main guy in that is really hot!"

Gino just chuckled as he grabbed himself a slice of pizza and took a seat on the couch.

He didn't know how real this world he was living in was or what was going on exactly, but if he was here to stay, he could learn to love it.

Chris was actually a refreshing person in this world and so was John.

If he had to go back to his world, Chris would be an asshole and John would be a dead asshole who tried to kill Brandon three times.

Then there was him and Brandon, the thing that he loved most about this world. He finally had him and he really didn't want to go back to the world where Adam had him.

Of course, in this world Adam was an asshole, but that wasn't anything new. And Alex was an asshole, which was new, but not all that shocking.

And he wasn't rich like he was accustomed to, but at least his parents were still together and his dad wasn't gay.

If he had to stay here he was going to enjoy it.

But he didn't know how long it was gonna last. It could be over at any minute and then he'd be back where he was supposed to be.

And if it was going to happen soon, he at least wanted to spend as much time with Brandon as he could.

He wished he was here right now. ******************************************************************************* **************************************************************

"So....I'm here," Michelle spoke bitterly, looking a seat next to Jade and moving it next to me and taking a seat. "Which one of you people called this little impromptu meeting?"

"It was me," Jade started.

"Well, in that case," Michelle started, standing up.

"Michelle just wait a second, okay," Krystal spoke up.

Michelle closed her eyes and let out a deep breath.

"Going around in circles like in an AA meeting discussing my feelings isn't exactly my idea of confrontation," she spoke. "Leave alone the fact that I'm going through my own personal afterlife."

"Michelle, this is serious," Jade said.

"Were supposed to be grieving!" Michelle exclaimed. "Okay! Or something......I mean, Brandon and Vanessa both watched someone shoot himself in the fucking head..and Gino...he's been sick for like three days now-"

"And we all feel bad about that....it's probably the main reason why...." Jade started. "Why.....none of us have picked a college yet."

Michelle looked over at Jade.

"We all know how this is affecting us..." Jade continued." "I mean...al these kidnappings, and shootings and....all of it....it's just too much!"

Michelle sat down slowly and looked around at everyone.

"So...let's........let's talk about it then," she spoke.

I looked around at the faces of my friends.

It was about time we finally talked about the problems we'd been having the past two years.

I mean.....things would happen...Adam would get shot....I'd get amnesia...and sure, we'd talk about it, but we wouldn't REALLY talk about it.

I guess because weird things just kept happening, we all kind of just decided that not talking about our problems would be the best thing for us to do.

But now I was seeing that not talking about our problems just set us up for more disaster, because we were never really sure how to deal with the new problems.

"So...where should we start?" Michelle asked.

No one said anything.

"How about from the beginning," I suggested.

Michelle looked over at me.

"Okay then..." she spoke sucking in some air. "Let's start at the beginning." ******************************************************************************* ***************************************

"Well, well, well......"

Brandon stood at Adam's open door under his gaze.

"You actually showed up then," Adam spoke.

"Yeah well, I figured I'd go outside of my horizons....experience new things," Brandon replied.

"You couldn't have picked a better day," Adam grinned, allowing Brandon inside.

Once inside, he was amazed at how much bigger Adam's mansion was than his. He may have been rich, but apparently, Adam's parents made Bill Gates money.

"So, this my place," Adam shouted over the loud rap music blaring in the background. "It's alright."

"That's not exactly the word I'd use," Brandon spoke, looking around.

Adam put his arm around Brandon's shoulder and started leading him through the house.

"So, lemme show you the major players," he started.

Brandon watched as a guy with multiple piercings jumped from one floor of the mansion down to another where a large pool was below.

"Over there we have Paul Riddler-"

"The captain of wrestling team, I know," Brandon finished.

"I guess you do keep up with people besides your loser friends," Adam spoke.

"They're not...losers okay...I just-"

"You're right, my bad," Adam replied.

"So I guess since you know everyone there is to know-"

"Adam, great party!" Michelle spoke, Ryan basically attached to her side. "But I need the key to the master bedroom on the first floor."

"God, your friends are such sex fiends, Brandon" Adam spoke, handing Michelle one of the keys.

"Thanks dude," Ryan spoke. "You're the best."

Brandon chuckled and looked over to his left where a large group of guys were egging on two girls he couldn't quite see to make out with each other.

"Oh, shall we?" Adam spoke, walking Brandon closer to the crowd.

Upon closer inspection, Brandon could clearly see Alex's girlfriend Jade, and a girl who he seemed to remember being named Krystal standing in the center of the circle.

"Go ahead then, make out," Adam spoke.

"Fine, but then you gotta make out with....that guy next to you," Jade spoke.

"What?" Adam spoke, sounding surprised.

"Er, it's the twenty first century, Adam," Jade spoke. "Get with the program."

"Can we just make out now?" Krystal asked, sounding annoyed. "I'm horny."

Adam looked over at Brandon and crossed his arms before nodding at Jade and Krystal, who both started going at it, while all the guys cheered them on.

"Okay, let's get out of here before they want us to make good on that deal," Adam spoke, pulling Brandon away.

Brandon didn't want to admit it to Gino, but he'd always had a crush on Adam.

Well, not a crush exactly.

Adam was the very first guy Brandon was attracted to when he moved to Meadowbrook.

He didn't really have enough time to get his feet wet and try his hand at being popular or going for Adam, as Gino and his friends had taken him under their wings almost immediately.

And he'd been with them ever since.

But, that didn't stop him from crushing on Adam or wondering what his life would have been like if he and Adam had been the ones to get together.

"So, where's your boyfriend?" Adam asked.

"At home...I guess," Brandon replied.

"Aren't you worried he might be upset with you coming here?"

"What he doesn't know, won't hurt him," Brandon replied.

Adam grinned at Brandon before feeling himself being pulled back by someone.

"Say what the fuck-"

"What's going on Adam?" Alex growled, looking over at Brandon.

"You know how much this shirt cost? Armani man, shit," Adam spoke, straightening his shirt.

"Why are you walking around this damn place like a troll like Brandon Jameson is your best friend?" Alex asked.

"You know, I just figured I'd make him feel like he was wanted for once," Adam replied. "And then of course, totally ignore him tomorrow."

"What the fuck kind of plan is that?" Alex asked. "I say we pants him!"

"No wait...lemme....lemme handle him," Adam spoke.

"You got this?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, sure," Adam replied, walking back over to Brandon.

"Did your superior order you to have me quarantined?" Brandon asked.

"Actually, he thinks I should show you the rest of the house," Adam replied.

Brandon was surprised by that and smiled at Adam who smiled back at him but reached into his pocket when he felt his phone vibrating.

"Shit," he mumbled, when he saw the number.

"What?" Adam asked.

"It's Gino," Brandon replied.

"Well, the bf checking up on you, huh?" Adam asked, taking the phone from Brandon.

"Hey, what are you-"

Brandon stopped when Adam held up a finger to him and answered the phone.

Brandon thought Adam was gonna say something but he didn't. Instead he just held the phone to his ear for awhile before hanging it up.

"Okay, that's that," Adam spoke, handing the phone back to Brandon.

"What..."

"Well, just so he can know what he's missing," Adam replied, before pulling Brandon off. ******************************************************************************* **************************************

"What?" John asked.

Gino just stared at the phone he had yet to hang up.

"Was he jacking off?" Chris asked. "With that dollar store lube again? I told him to switch-"

"He's at Adam's party," Gino replied.

"What?" John asked.

"Yeah..." Gino replied. "I have to go."

All kinds of things were going through his mind right now.

How could Brandon have gone to the party when....when he promised him he wouldn't? He thought their relationship was perfect, but apparently not...

He had to get over to that party before...he didn't know what 'before'.....he just had to get there.

"Can you guys take me to Adams?" Gino asked.

"Yeah, sure," John spoke.

"Aww...I wanted to drool over the guy that plays Lindsay Lohan's boyfriend in Mean Girls," Chris sighed.

"Now, Chris," Gino growled.

"Alright, alright," Chris sighed. ******************************************************************************* ****************************************

Brandon had allowed himself to be led upstairs to the one floor that wasn't being torn up by party goers and led him slowly down the hall.

"So, I guess that's everything right?" Brandon asked. "I mean..that one door we accidentally opened where we saw Michelle and Ryan getting-"

"Yeah, I have to go and burn my eyes out now," Adam laughed.

Brandon laughed as well.

"But, actually...you haven't seen my room yet," Adam replied.

Brandon looked Adam's face over to try and determine if he was up to something, but ultimately decided he didn't care and followed Adam into his room, shutting the door behind him.

"Wow...nice," he spoke.

"Yeah...this was the first room my parents thought they wanted to stay in....but they just combined three of the rooms down the hall into one and I took this one."

"My dad is always remodeling stuff...since he's an architect," Brandon replied.

Adam walked over to his bed and jumped on top of it.

"Satin sheets...Egyptian cotton pillows....best mattress money can buy.." he spoke.

"I see that," Brandon spoke, walking over to the bed as well.

"Yeah, but how do you know really?" Adam asked, grinning.

"Wha.."

Adam just moved closer and closer to Brandon before placing his lips onto his.

Even though he liked it and wanted it, Brandon jumped back.

"Um, what?" Adam asked.

"You're not.....and..you hate me and my friends....and Alex-"

"First of all, I've wanted you from the day I saw you," Adam replied. "Why do you think Alex and I never picked on you?"

Brandon had noticed that, but he thought it was just because they didn't care either way.

"Yeah but-"

"Alex...he just doesn't understand, you know?" Adam continued. "And it's not like you tell a guy like Alex Rodriguez that you're gay.....look what he does to your friends..."

"Yeah but Adam...."

"Shhhhh....can't we just...enjoy this for what it is right now?" Adam asked, putting his arms around Brandon.

Brandon thought about it.

"But Gino-"

"Isn't here.....and it's like you said yourself....what he doesn't know, won't hurt him," Adam replied.

He wanted Adam too much.

"You're right," he replied, jumping back on top of Adam. ******************************************************************************* *******************************************************

"Well, if it isn't the tea bagging club," Alex spoke upon opening the front door.

"Did you know that the term tea bagging actually comes from a Latin-"

"Didn't I tell you to shut up, geek?" Alex growled.

"Alright then," Chris spoke meekly.

"Looks like you're missing a member, though," Alex spoke. "Gee, I wonder where he could be."

Gino wasn't in the mood for Alex and just shoved him out of the way forcing himself inside.

John followed him while Chris, still afraid of Alex, stood at the door.

Alex glared at him.

"Come on Chris!" John called.

"Uh...um.." Chris started, slowly edging inside the house.

"Boo!" Alex shouted, causing Chris to jump and hurry to catch up to John.

Gino looked around. The first thing he saw was Jade licking body shots off of Krystal's chest, with a bunch of guys cheering them on.

There were a lot of people at the party, a lot of familiar faces. He even saw Sam chatting with a group of people, but he didn't have time to say hi.

It wasn't like he and Sam were together here anyway.

"You know, you trolls can crash the party looking for your missing wang loving friend all you want, but it doesn't mean you're gonna find him," Alex spoke.

Gino rushed over to Alex and pushed him into a semi empty hallway.

"He's here...I know he's here!"

"Look around, bitch! You see him here?" Alex asked.

Gino just pushed past Alex and headed up the stairs of the house, looking around.

"Hey...stay here, alright,"John spoke.

"John, no-"

Chris stopped when John left him and headed up the stairs.

"What are you looking at queer?" Alex asked.

"So do you like know every gay term there is or...."

Alex glared at Chris.

"Shutting up now."

Gino just threw open door after door until he reached one at the end of the hall.

"Gino.."

"What John?"

"Why're you doing this-"

"My boyfriend is at this party-"

"Gino-"

Gino just ignored John and kicked open the door to the room to find Brandon jumping off of Adam, both of them shirtless and sweaty.

"Gino!" Brandon exclaimed.

"God, who let you in?" Adam spoke, sitting up.

Gino was shocked this was happening to him. After all this time of wanting Brandon...and......

"Gino...I-"

Gino didn't stick around to hear anything, instead just ran towards the front door and outside, John keeping up behind him.

"Gino-"

"Not here...why'd it have to be here? Everything was perfect here-"

"Gino...I've been trying to tell you all along-"

"Tell me what John?" Gino shouted. "God, you have no idea how hard it is for me to even look at you right now, or accept the fact that Chris is my so called best friend.....but me and Brandon.....that was supposed to be perfect!"

"Not if his heart wasn't in it..." John replied.

Gino sighed and looked over at John.

"No matter what you tell yourself....no matter how much planning or how much scheming you do....you can't get the person you love to love you back," John replied. "They have to love you too."

Gino gasped.

"What did you say?" he asked.

"What? I...just-"

"Why did you say that? How did you know?"

John looked confused.

"Gino-"

"Why did you say that-"

Gino stopped when he noticed Adam coming outside of the mansion, Brandon behind him.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" Adam asked.

Gino wasn't really liking what was happening before his eyes.

"You lied to me Brandon!" Gino shouted.

"Gino-"

"No it's okay Brandon," Adam spoke. "I need to talk to Gino-"

"The fuck you do-"

"Can I ask you a question?" Adam asked.

Gino snorted at Adam and crossed his arms.

"Why do you want Brandon?"

"Excuse me?" Gino asked.

"I mean...why do you want him so badly?"

Gino looked down.

"Well I......"

And for the first time since he'd first decided he'd wanted Brandon...he actually thought about why he wanted him. And the answer was...

"I......don't know..."

"Because when I see him...I feel it inside of myself...my heart beats faster and I get nervous around him and I just never could get close enough to him..until today."

Adam looked up at Brandon on the steps before looking over at Adam and then turning around.

Why was this happening to him? Why was he here?

He didn't know the answer to those questions but what he did know was that.....he didn't really want Brandon.

He was just attracted to the idea of having him.....

But really having him?

And then all the scheming and planning...and for what?

Suddenly his head started to hurt badly.

"You okay?" Adam asked.

"Yeah I'm..."

When Gino looked over to where John was, he was gone.

"Where'd John go..."

But Adam was gone as well.

And Brandon.

And things were suddenly getting a lot darker and darker and...... ******************************************************************************* ***************************************

Gino opened his eyes and looked around.

He realized that he must have been sleep a long time. He'd been sleeping a lot lately, as he'd gotten real bad pneumonia from all the rain.

Yesterday, he'd gone to bed early and when he looked over at his clock he saw that it was nearly nine at night.

A dream.

All of it...was a dream.

John being alive.

Alex being his enemy.

Brandon being his boyfriend.

"Hey," I spoke, once I finally realized that Gino was up. "You're finally awake."

"Brandon?"

"Yeah.." I replied.

Gino sat up and looked around.

"Are we..."

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing...." Gino replied.

I didn't know what he wanted to ask me, but I was glad he was up.

Gino looked over at Brandon.

That weird dream had compelled him.

It finally made him realize some things...but beyond that......he realized what he had to do now.

"There's something......something that I need to tell you," Gino started.

"Okay...what is it?" I asked.

Gino took a deep breath.

He knew that he might have been hated by everyone when he was done. He knew there was a chance he could lose all his friends...and a lot more.

But he had to do it.

He had to.

"I guess I should start at the beginning...."

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