Angst

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not write about frank sexual situations, nor do I have any desire to.

This is a story about teen love and discovery. Still though, it is a gay work of fiction.

If such work offends you or you are not old enough to read in your area, then do not continue reading.

Please do not copy and paste onto another website without emailing me first. In most cases I'd be glad to let you post on another site, as long as you ask first!

Angst Episode 39 "The Main Attraction"

I never thought that it was possible to hate living more than dying, but I did. I hated my life with a passion.

If I was starting to realize that maybe I was a curse before last week, then after what had happened, I was almost positive that all the bad things that happened to my friends were because of me.

Adam was only trying to protect me. Yet in doing so, he'd killed someone. It may have been an accident, but it still happened, just days after being shot himself!

That whole situation with Justin was a mess. After the cops had arrived, it took nearly two hours on Gino, Alex, me and even Chris's parts to convince them that what had happened was a complete accident. And even after that, all of us spent the next four hours at the police station, undergoing even more questioning.

Eventually, the police got the message that Adam was acting in self defense and let us all go. It was weird how the whole thing happened, and it was easy to see that the four of us were pretty shaken up.

My sister had diverted her classes in favor of coming home for a few days in an attempt to try and get me to talk after my parents called her.

And I guess knowing that my family was there for me and a hurting Adam was also living with me, I learned to deal with what had happened, eventually.

It wasn't that I felt all that sad that Justin was gone. The guy was a jackass. I was sad though. Sad that he had to die. I would never have wished his death no matter how much I hated him. And now he was gone.

The whole thing was all over the news. Alex, Adam, Chris and I had all been told not to speak to any reporters about what had happened by the school, the police, and our parents.

The school had even been closed the next day and the rumor mill had gotten a chance to go off in full force. According to the news, Adam was a hero. No one at all really suspected Adam purposely shot Justin. Mostly because of his reputation. And also because of what he'd already had to go through.

It was hard the first few days. But by the weekend, I was feeling almost back to my old self. So was Alex apparently. I had no idea about Chris as I hadn't really payed much attention to him. I didn't have time to think about him anyway because my thoughts had all been fixed on Adam.

Because Adam still wasn't back to his old self.

He wouldn't talk to anyone. Not Vanessa and not me. He didn't want to go anywhere with anyone and he didn't want to do anything with anyone. He woke up and took care of himself and went to school. And then came home and shut himself in his room. I really only got a chance to see him if he came out of his room to eat of use the bathroom.

I guess I just had to expect Adam's behavior. After all, he was the one that had shot Justin, not Alex, Chris or I. He was the one who killed someone.

It didn't seem like any amount of trying to convince him that it wasn't his fault and that he only acted in self defense was working.

I wasn't sure what Adam was thinking because he wasn't telling anyone.

Of course, he had been required to talk to a therapist, but obviously that was working either, because it only seemed to be making things worse.

The thing that got to me was, I could tell that Adam hated feeling the way I'm sure he felt. But only because of me.

Whenever Adam did do or say anything, it was because of me alone. I guess he figured he was going to try for my sake.

At least, he'd decided to try today.

Because today he was completely different.

Adam not only said good morning to me and talked with me all through breakfast, but walked with me throughout the halls of the school and even talked with me, something he hadn't done at all in quite a while.

I had to admit, it was nice having Adam talking again and smiling, but I was worried that it might have been a facade. Adam was great at masking his feelings and being connected to him the way I was, I knew we weren't out of the woods when it came to him yet.

"So anyways, they added this new guy and-"

Adam had been telling me about one of his favorite television shows and to show that I was happy for him talking to me, I listened. But I couldn't help but notice out of the corner of my eye the rest of my friends approaching us.

"Hey guys," Jade spoke, with a big smile as usual.

"God, can you believe I had to take the bus wearing this outfit?" Michelle spoke, just as shallow as ever. " It was like I was a piece of meat on Wynona Judd's dinner plate. Never again is all I have to say."

I was no longer worried about Alex, as he had been fine just as I had a few days after the fact. Jade and the girls weren't there, so sure they were shaken up at first, but they were fine as well.

That hadn't stopped them from worrying about Adam, however, and seeing him with a smile on his handsome face, admittedly, threw them all off guard.

"Adam...you seem...happy today," Jade spoke, choosing her words carefully.

"You must have got laid huh?" Alex joked.

Adam just smiled.

"No...I guess I just realized there were plenty of other things I could do besides feel sorry for myself," Adam replied.

I noticed Vanessa and Krystal walking up behind Adam.

Krystal joined Jade at her side as Michelle snorted at her and rolled her eyes.

On top of Justin having been killed, there was still the fact that everyone in school pretty much knew all of our secrets, as all of us, along with about 40 other popular students had had our deepest secrets exposed.

And they were obviously still upset with each other.

"Hey...Adam," Vanessa said, reaching over to touch Adam's face.

But Adam moved away from Vanessa's hand.

"Don't." he spoke.

I did notice that it seemed like Adam didn't really want to be touched as of late. I'd unknowingly found myself putting my arm around his shoulder to comfort him or touching him lightly on the back, only to find him shrug away from me.

I thought it was just me. Apparently it wasn't.

Everyone looked tense and nervous as Vanessa continued to stare at Adam.

"Adam, I just wanted to-"

"I know...and I'm sorry," Adam replied. "I just.....can't....deal with..."

Vanessa smiled a little.

"I understand," she said. "I'd rather have you talking to me."

Adam smiled as well.

As much as I wanted Adam for my own self, I knew just as much that Vanessa wanted him as well. And until Adam was ready to admit to me that he was wiling to leave Vanessa for me, I just had to be happy that he at least had someone.

"Gotta say man, it's nice having back the old Adam," Alex spoke. "I was starting to wonder if we were gonna have to start shopping around for a replacement."

Adam just shoved Alex playfully.

"Well I'm off," Michelle spoke, flipping her hair back. "Wouldn't want you guys to be around in case my fake nose falls off."

"Yeah that's definitely something we wouldn't wanna see, whore!" Krystal shouted as Michelle walked off.

"We're seriously gonna have to do something about the two of you," Jade spoke. "It's been a week since-"

"That stupid bitch told everyone lies about me!" Krystal pouted.

"In her defense, she didn't tell everyone. That was Justin's fault," Jade replied. "And you're not exactly innocent in all this either."

What was said on those tapes wasn't exactly something I wanted to discuss. I basically re-admitted my feelings for Adam. Now the whole school knew how I felt about him, including Vanessa, who I guess got over it quick enough to decide she wanted back into Adam's pants.

A lot of damage had been done in the course of the week. If it wasn't one thing here in the lovely old Angst, it was another. I was almost afraid to ask what was coming next!

It had been nearly a week since the whole incident, and Chris and I still weren't talking. Admittedly, that was mostly due to me.

I just wasn't sure I was exactly willing to forgive him. Before Justin came along, I had my own problems with Chris. I had gone so long without speaking to Chris that I was beginning to think that maybe I'd been a little harsh. But then the whole thing at dinner that night happened and I just knew I had been right to abandon him.

I still wasn't really all that sure what his part in the whole thing with Justin was. He certainly seemed guilty enough. Enough for me to consider what he'd been through, as well as the rest of us. While he only knew Justin a couple of days, he was a lot closer to him than any of us were. And now he was gone.

I had to wonder how Chris felt.

"Alright....so like I said before, I pushed the projects back after what happened last week," Mr. Martin spoke. "I assume all of you have had enough time to grieve."

I knew we all knew better than that. No one had time to think about Justin. The school was shaken to it's core with the tapes going public. Now there was nothing left but suspicion and hatred. If it weren't for my own friends, I'd hate coming to school right about now.

"But life had to go on," Mr. Martin continued. "And you should have all had your projects complete by now anyway, so why don't uh......Brandon and Chris....why don't the two of you come up here and present your work."

It was a little unexpected. Chris looked like he'd rather be anywhere else but he got his stuff out and headed up to the front.

I got my own stuff out and did the same.

"What did you boys work on again?" Mr. Martin asked.

"Uh...political scandal and enterprise," I replied after Chris didn't.

Chris seriously looked the strangest I'd ever seen him and I had a feeling it had nothing to do with me. Before he'd always looked so down but I always just assumed it was because of me. And now...it was almost like he wasn't even aware I was even in the room.

When he didn't start first I took the initiative and started myself.

"Uh well we started out researching the United States presidents and how everything works while they're in office," I started.

I couldn't help but to look over at Chris.

"Um...."

He really was no help here.

"Well I mean I'm a little lost on it all....Justin was handling-"

"I cant do this," Chris said.

Next thing I knew, he was storming out the classroom and for some strange reason I went after him. I could hear very vaguely Mr. Martin saying something about failing and getting detention but I didn't really pay attention.

I was still trying to figure out for the life of my why the hell I was going after Chris.

As usual, Chris ran into the restroom. He did that whenever he was upset. I followed him inside and also like usual, there was no one inside once I did look around.

Chris didn't look up at me. He was hunched over one of the sinks and looking down. It was like he didn't even know I'd followed him.

It'd been so long since I'd actually talked with him. Really talked with him. So I was a little hesitant about approaching him. I wasn't even sure how but I felt my legs carrying me over to him and before long, I was behind him.

"Chris..." I put my hand on his shoulder and he jumped, finally aware of my presence.

He looked at my reflection in the mirror, looking a little shocked. But then he shook my hand free from his back and walked away from me, over towards the window that was closer to the ceiling than he could see out of.

"What did you follow me in here for?" Chris asked.

"I...don't know," I replied.

And I didn't know. I didn't know why I'd followed him and I didn't know what I was supposed to say.

Chris stared at me before sighing and looking down.

"Do you hate me?" he suddenly asked.

I'll admit, that was a good question. Did I hate Chris? After all, he did do quite a bit to cause me grief. But I couldn't hate him. Not after he'd also done things to make me happy.

"No," I replied, honestly. "I'm worried about you."

Chris chuckled and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Yeah well, I'm worried about myself."

"Chris, what's going on? Why're you acting so......"

I didn't know what to call how he'd been acting. At this point, seeing him so down was beyond strange as I'd become used to it. It was only my senses telling me that this was something more.

"I saw myself in you when I first met you....the way I used to be.." Chris started.

It was weird what he was telling me but I listened anyway.

"I told myself that I liked you because I could relate to you but....that wasn't it," he continued. "I liked you because I actually cared about you. It was the first time I cared about anyone since....."

He stopped. I wanted to ask him to continue, but I didn't want to push him.

"But when I thought about my past, I got blindsided and started fucking up things with you without even realizing that I was."

"Chris..."

"I did. And I'm sorry. I know I have...issues. I don't even know what the hell I was thinking hooking up with that loser Justin. Of course, I shouldn't be calling a dead guy a loser..."

If he was a loser he was a loser. Although, it probably was wrong to call him that now.

I watched as Chris just stared absently at nothing in particular until he finally looked back up at me.

"I got stuff I gotta work out," he replied. "And when I do that, I think maybe you and I should try again. If I screw up after that.....well, I guess I don't deserve to be your friend after all."

It amazed me the amount of maturity Chris was showing. I'd already known he could be a pretty mature person when he wanted to be, but that didn't stop him from being a jackass either. And now, he wanted to change. He actually wanted to try and make up for his past so that it would stop affecting his relationship with me.

And if he was willing to try and work things out, then so was I. This was his own way of apologizing, and I accepted it.

"I guess we should go try and keep ourselves from failing, huh?" Chris asked, finally smiling.

"Yeah," I replied. "I don't think I've ever seen an F on any of my papers before."

"Trust me," Chris started as we exited the restroom. "You don't want to."

This was good, us on speaking terms again. My only hope now was that with all the drama out of the way, I could start to live life how it should be lived for a normal teenager.

"Main Event?" I asked.

Lunchtime had come for my friends and I and we had all began talking about the next big Angst event, the Main Event.

I found it odd that we were still planning things just one mere week after a student was shot and killed right near campus. Not only that but the fact that everyone knew each others secrets. Although, I guess pretending like none if it ever happened was the best idea.

Too bad the same couldn't be said for Michelle and Krystal.

"It's the football game played by the two best football teams in the state every year," Alex explained. "Only, unlike normal games, only the senior are allowed to play."

"Why seniors only?" I asked.

"For the college scouts," Ryan replied. "So that in case they missed a really good player the first time, they get one more chance to recruit people for scholarships."

It sounded like a really big deal for Alex and Adam. Only, Alex was the only one who seemed the least bit excited about it all.

"I mean, it's not just football," Alex spoke. "There's a student after party held every year...once again for only seniors."

"And who's hosting this party?" I asked.

"I would say Michelle, but she might be worried about someone knocking off that fake nose of hers!" Krystal hissed.

"Why stop at someone when we can name a culprit now...Krystal and all her body fat!" Michelle hissed back.

"Oh god, will you two please just kiss and make up already?" Jade pleaded.

"Not a bad idea," Alex spoke. "Make sure there's tongue action involved."

"Shut up Alex!" Michelle and Krystal spoke in unison.

Krystal and Michelle looked over at each other before bursting out laughing together.

"Thank god," Jade mumbled.

"So this Main Event thing," Gino started. "Man, you guys are gonna be busy for a little while right? I mean, training, extra practices...event coordination."

"Yeah," Alex replied, putting his arm around Adam and shaking him playfully. "Me and this guy will be pretty much non existent before, during, and after school the next few days."

Adam said nothing. I thought he was back to normal.....

"Uh huh....." Gino spoke.

"You know, I hear they're talking about you and Adam being the hands down favorites to get scholarships," Ryan spoke.

"Really? Where'd you hear this?" Alex asked, sounding really interested.

Even Adam looked interested.

"I still have a few football buddies....." Ryan replied.

Even I could sense the undertones in that statement and knew that Alex knew well enough not to push it.

"Yeah well I need to make sure I'm in top shape for this game," Alex replied. "If we win, I heard the school's gonna pay for any band we want to perform at prom."

"Really?" Michelle asked. "Good, because I still have my list from last year-"

"Would you give it a rest already, shit!" Krystal said.

"You okay?" Vanessa asked Adam, placing her hand on his shoulder.

Adam looked down at it before moving himself away from it and standing up.

"Uh....I'm gonna go stretch my legs," he spoke.

Everyone looked over at Adam.

"Oh, well I'll come-"

"No...I'll be right back," Adam replied.

Vanessa looked a little down, but to reassure her, Adam bent down and kissed her on the forehead.

I wanted to get up myself and go with Adam, but I realized that it would make me look really petty to go after him after he refused his own girlfriend.

I guess my friends were expecting me to go after him because Jade, Alex, Ryan and Vanessa were looking at me. I just looked away.

"So about Main Event...anyone hear about..." Michelle started on with her usual gossip.

I couldn't help but to worry about Adam. I knew him better than anyone it seemed and right now, I knew that he was still upset about what had happened. There really wasn't anything I could do about it as long as Adam proclaimed that he was fine about it all.

"You okay Brandon?" Gino asked.

"Just...thinking about Adam," I replied.

"Really......" Gino mumbled.

I said it without thinking about it and realized it after the fact.

"Sorry."

"That's okay..." Gino replied.

He'd said it was okay, but I couldn't shake the feeling that it was far from okay.

When I got home, I noticed Adam sitting directly by the window near the door. His back was facing it and the curtains were pulled back. He looked a little bored but also like he was hiding something.

"Uh..."

"Hurry up and get inside," Adam whispered.

I knew once he said that exactly what was going on. The press had been bugging Adam since last week. A school shooting is one thing, but when the guy who kills the psycho with a gun was also shot by his own father just a couple of weeks previously, that makes for a few good weeks worth of special reports.

We all did our best to hide Adam from the media, and I would have came home with him myself, but Adam was gone before I could find him when the bell had rung.

"I guess they're not letting this thing go, huh?" I spoke, sitting myself next to Adam.

Adam flashed me a faint smile but he didn't really look my way too long. It actually looked like for once, he wasn't sad because of me or Vanessa. He was sad about something else. Or at least, thinking about something else.

"Adam...."

"This game....Main Event thing.....how am I supposed to be able to face everyone and keep a cool head?" Adam started.

He had just started talking, and I figured he needed someone to talk to and right now I was the only person he was trusting with that duty.

"I don't know," I replied.

"I mean.....I killed someone-"

"Adam-"

"I know....I know why it happened....but still. It's all I've been thinking about since it happened and I can't go into this game with that on my mind. I won't do well and then I won't get a scholarship," Adam sighed.

So this had to be the reason Adam went back to being depressed. I guess it did make sense for him to be stressing over it all. And the way Adam put it, he was right. I'm sure if I'd killed someone to protect him, I'd be thinking about just as much, no matter who the person was.

I was at a loss. I really wasn't sure what to do.

"I'm just not gonna play," Adam sighed, standing up.

"What? No Adam, you can't not play. You said it yourself, this game could be your full ride to college," I said, standing up as well.

Adam had started into the kitchen and I was right behind him.

"That doesn't change what happened. I can't just forget about it!"

"Adam-"

"No...you don't understand....I can't do it. That's it," Adam replied.

I could tell he didn't want to talk about it anymore and there really wasn't anything I could do for him without contradicting myself. We both knew he was right. And it was an unfortunate situation, but that was how it was.

"So...why exactly do we have to do this again?" Alex asked.

Unfortunately for him, he'd allowed himself to be dragged along to the mall with Michelle.

"Well," Michelle started, pushing Alex along. "I have a serious thing for hot sweaty football guys. And you need to make sure that you can play long and hard during the Main Event game."

"You have to be the horniest girl in school," Alex replied.

"At least I'm not a sex loving whore like Alicia Reynolds," Michelle spoke. "God, that bitch puts out for any dick."

"Hey, Alicia is not a whore, okay. She just likes being a good pal to all us guys," Alex grinned.

"Okay...eww," Michelle spoke, letting go of Alex.

The two of them walked until they stood in front of the nutrition store.

"You stay here...I know exactly what kind of stuff you're gonna need," Michelle spoke. "Of course, after hearing about you and Alicia, it's gonna take a boatload of stuff."

Alex just sighed impatiently as he turned around and headed for a bench outside the store.

It was bad enough he was here with Michelle, but now he was letting her shop for god only knows what for him. He had to wonder what else was coming.

Only, he got the unfortunate answer to his question once he saw Chris walking alone down the other side of the mall.

The first thought that popped into his head was that Chris had followed he and Michelle to the mall. But realizing how paranoid a thought it was, he decided he'd just ignore Chris and hope that he didn't see him.

"Okay.....that man in there is totally rude," Michelle spoke, walking up to Alex. "Do you know that he actually called me a superficial Paris Hilton wannabe?"

"Really?" Alex spoke, feigning interest and standing up.

"I mean I'm so much better looking than that bleached blonde...oh my gosh is that Christian?"

Alex instantly tensed up and grabbed a hold of Michelle, pulling her in the opposite direction.

"Didn't you say you needed to pick up something at Victoria's Secret?" Alex asked.

"Well yeah, but you definitely aren't coming in there with me," Michelle spoke.

"Fine, I'll wait outside," Alex replied. "It's still upstairs right?"

"You know, you're being really weird," Michelle said. "You aren't high are you?"

Alex looked behind him to notice that Chris was nowhere to be found, and seeing that as a good thing, slowed his walk upstairs with Michelle.

By the time they'd actually gotten upstairs, Alex had relaxed a bit. Once again, he waited outside while Michelle shopped inside the store.

Alex had already made up his mind that Chris was gone and decided to look around in a store right next door. In truth, it had been a while since he'd actually been in the store. Not in a few years.

So the last person he expected to see inside was Chris.

Alex would have just left but Chris had spotted him just as he'd spotted Chris. There was a moment where the two of them just stared at each other without saying anything at all.

Alex didn't move when Chris started towards him, even though everything in him was telling him to do so.

"Hey..." Chris spoke.

Alex acted as though he were looking over one of the cd's on the shelf.

"What do you want?" Alex asked, not making any attempts to hide the contempt in his voice.

Chris chuckled to himself before leaning against the shelf opposite where they were standing.

"I thought you stopped coming here," he spoke.

"And the day I decide to again, I run into you," Alex replied, turning to look at Chris. "Guess there wasn't any point huh?"

"Look I know you hate me," Chris started.

"Not so dumb after all." Alex said.

"I'm not trying to cause trouble."

"Did you follow me here?" Alex asked, starting down the row of goods.

Chris followed alongside Alex at a slow pace.

"You know me better than that don't you, Lex?"

Alex flashed Chris a threatening look.

"Don't call me that."

Chris's sly smile faded.

"I saw you with Michelle earlier," Chris started. "You know, when you were trying to get away from me."

Alex side glanced Chris before the both of them turned down another store aisle.

"I didn't follow you here," Chris replied. "I was shopping. For a birthday present for Brandon's birthday next month."

Chris stopped and turned towards Chris.

"Why? He hates you!"

"Not anymore. He's willing to start over with me. We talked and-"

"Sonofabitch!" Alex muttered aloud.

A few people nearby stopped and took notice of the two but kept going a few seconds afterward.

Chris could tell that wasn't what Alex wanted to hear. But he had other things on his mind.

"It doesn't have to be this way you know," Chris started, sounding more desperate than before. "Brandon forgave me. And if you-"

"Stop it!" Alex barked.

Chris stopped.

Alex looked around before heading for the exit, Chris following behind him.

"How many times do I have to say I'm sorry before you forgive me?"

"Forgive you? Okay, if you wanna go down this road, we will," Alex started.

Alex waited until the both of them were outside of the store before he walked into a nearby lobby, Chris behind him.

"First of all, you never know when to say sorry, Chris. A problem you have with my best friend," Alex started.

"We got all that outta the way, Alex-"

"And second...where's this coming from? You try and ruin my life six years ago and show up all of sudden after moving away...still just as stupid as ever-"

"Alex, you of all people know that I'm not...I was never such a cruel person."

"I'm supposed to know that after what? After seeing you take everything away from me because what.....you couldn't have me?"

Chris sighed while Alex continued to stare at Alex.

"I'm not gay Chris. I wasn't then and I'm not now," Alex spoke, a lot calmer than before. "And you.....look at you...you're a confused mess. Gay one minute. Straight the next......I don't even know what the hell you are!"

"I'm just a guy...who knows what he wants," Chris replied. "And what I want is for you and Brandon to be in my life."

Alex stared at Chris for the longest time before responding.

"Well I'm sorry to tell you but you're not getting either," he replied, heading for the door. "Brandon might think he wants you back in his life right now, but I'm his best friend and he trusts me a hell of a lot more than he does you. I'll get him to side with me."

With that having been said, Alex left Chris with his own destructive thoughts.

"Tell me again why inviting Gino over is a good idea?" Adam asked.

"Because, our folks are all working late again and I figure since you and Gino are at odds, it would take you mind off of....well..."

It was a cheap tactic and I knew it but truth be told, being around Adam while he was like this was a little weird. He was like some kind of zombie and I hated zombies.

And Gino would be along any minute now.

"You could've at least ordered in," Adam spoke, plopping himself on the couch. "Our cooking skills aren't worth shit."

He was right on that one. Hopefully Gino was bringing something.

"Oh...that's the doorbell," I spoke, heading for the door.

"Oh joy," Adam mumbled, flipping through the channels on t.v.

When I opened the door, I nearly panicked.

"Hey!" Gino greeted. "I brought sushi!"

I stepped aside allowing Gino inside, while altogether avoiding eye contact with the person he'd brought with him.

"Hey Adam," Gino spoke, heading into the living room. "You guys remember Sam right?"

Oh I definitely remembered Sam. As in the same Sam that shoved his tongue down my throat last week.

Question was, what the hell was he doing here with Gino?

"So...I figured you guys could use a little nourishment," Gino started, taking the food out of the bag. "I guess you need it more Adam, what with you having this big game coming up."

"I'm not playing," Adam spoke, sitting up to get some of the food.

"What?" Gino asked, sounding shocked.

"What do you mean what? Did I stutter?" Adam asked.

"Brandon..tell me he's not serious," Gino spoke, turning to me.

I hadn't heard the question. The only reason I knew anything had been asked at all was because Sam, Adam and Gino were all starting at me.

"I'm sorry, huh?"

"Gino, what the hell are you and this fool doing here anyway?" Adam asked.

I wanted to know why Sam was here as well.

"Sam is my boyfriend...I mean, you know that right?" Gino asked.

Adam looked over at me and I looked away. I didn't wanna look at him. I felt ashamed. Like I cheated on him without actually cheating on him. Especially since I hadn't told him about the kiss. What the hell was Sam doing here?!

"So you brought him here?" Adam asked. "Why didn't you just bring Michelle and everything that comes with her. That would have been a hell of a lot better than-"

"I think I know what this about," Sam cut in.

Adam and Gino looked over at him.

"This oughtta be interesting....tell me, what is it that you think-"

Adam stopped short all of sudden when the sounds of gunshots coming from the television started.

I watched as a glazed look washed over Adam's face. I got up and walked over to him and made the mistake of touching him.

He instantly shot up and headed for the stairs.

"I'm kinda tired....I think I'm gonna hit the sack," Adam spoke.

He sounded completely different. He sounded distant. And a little afraid at that.

I started after him but felt Gino grab my leg.

"Don't," he said. "You can't baby him over what happened."

"And I can't just not do anything," I replied.

"You are doing something," Gino said. "You're here for Adam when he needs you."

I thought about what Gino was saying. Him bringing Sam here would have been a sign telling me that maybe Gino wasn't as wise as he was sounding now. But his advice now was an indication that he and Sam had to be serious now. He wasn't thinking about me. And he really did want me to help Adam.

"You're...you're right," I replied. "I just have to give him a little time."

Gino smiled as he picked at his sushi.

"Although, I think not playing in that Main Event game wouldn't be in Adam's best interest," he said.

"How so?"

'Well obviously playing in the game is giving Adam something to do. Something to think about other than what happened."

I thought about it. Apparently, Adam wasn't seeing things that way, when it was obvious he should have been. This thing with Justin was obviously affecting his better judgment.

"You gotta convince him to play in this game," Gino replied. "Trust me, he needs this."

Yeah, the way Gino put it, Adam did need to take his mind off of what happened. Start to really become the Adam I knew and loved.

"Sushi time!" Gino exclaimed, holding up a pair of chopsticks.

"Hey sexy."

Chris looked over at the guy that had said it before passing him and heading straight for the bar.

He'd been in a good mood. Allowed himself to get happy. Happier than he'd been in the longest amount of time.

He'd actually believed that he could be friends with both Alex and Brandon.

At first, that wasn't what he had wanted. When he'd seen Alex all those months ago, he felt nothing but hate for him. But losing Brandon, the only other person other than Alex that he'd been close to, had forced him to wake up and see his life for what it was.

In doing so, he realized that Brandon had been right. And furthermore, Alex had been right about him along. And he didn't want Alex to have been right about him. So he decided to change.

Which was why, at the time, he'd thought trying to apologize to Alex was in his best interest. But apparently, Alex wasn't in such a forgiving mood. Not only had he told him off, but he'd called him out on his own thoughts and emotions.

Chris had realized that he really was a confused mess. He didn't know what he was. There was a time when he thought that he was in love with Alex. But when that went south, he moved on. Moved on with any and plenty of girls. So many that he couldn't remember the exact number. He never thought of himself as being gay. But maybe. Just maybe.....

He was......

"Give me a Seventy Seven, dry," Chris told the bartender.

"Aren't you a little young cutie?" the bartender asked.

"I got in here didn't I?" Chris replied.

Only because the bouncer at the front thought Chris was hot. That and he may or may not have let the poor guy think that he was interested in giving him a blowjob later on.

But he didn't come here for that. If he wanted to give a guy a blowjob, he would have went to a normal club. But this wasn't just any club. It was a gay club. Club Infinity.

Chris turned around while the bartender fetched his drink.

There was no doubt about it, Chris was definitely in a different part of town. There were some seriously hot guys and girls for that matter in the club. And of course there were the usual trannies up on stage performing.

But he didn't want to think. He didn't want to think about what coming here meant and he didn't want to think about what kind of atmosphere he was in. All he wanted to do was to get wasted and to fuck around with some guy.

Hell, he was proving Alex wrong. He wasn't confused at all. Tonight, he was all the way gay.

"Here you go," the bartender spoke, handing Chris his drink.

Chris shouted the word 'thanks' while looking around. It was a little hard to see through all the bubbles and smoke and it was certainly hard to hear much of anything with the blaring dance music coming from the speakers all around.

"You come here a lot, man?"

Chris turned to his left to see an incredibly gorgeous Latino standing next to him. Looking the guy over, there was something about him that reminded him of Alex.

"No..but I'm guessing you do..."

"Luis," the guy replied, smiling.

Chris smiled back.

"Yeah. I don't really know what goes on here," he said. "Maybe you can show me around?"

Luis grinned at Chris seductively before taking him by the hand and leading him towards the back where Chris knew for a fact there was a 'Black Room' where you could do anything and everything, for a fee of course.

Which was why Chris made sure to bring plenty of cash. He planned on being here a while.

After talking some more with Gino, I'd made up my mind that today, I was going to have to convince Adam to play in the Main Event. After all, the game was in three days and this was his future we were talking about here.

To his credit, Adam did act as normally as he could. He still wouldn't let me touch him and he changed the subject every time I even tried to bring up the game, but I was determined to convince him. Adam had to do this for his own sake.

"Alex, what's wrong? You look a little worried." I spoke.

I'd become just as adept as I was before my accident at noticing when my best friend had a problem, and today was no different.

"It's this game, that's all. I need this scholarship," Alex replied.

"I know. All you have to do is play well and you and Adam'll both get one," I said.

"So Adam's playing in the game then?" Alex asked.

"Well not exactly," I replied, shutting my locker. "But I'm gonna try and convince him to play. To help him take his mind off his other problems."

"This game is a lot of pressure for sure, but do you really think that's gonna work?" I asked.

"It has to," I replied.

It had to. It just had to work.

"Oh...well good luck with that," Alex replied.

I looked up at him.

"That's not all that's bothering you is it?" I asked.

"What?" Alex spoke. "Of course that's it."

"Alex..."

Alex sighed and placed his hands in his pockets.

"I ran into Chris yesterday night. He said that you wanna be friends with him again."

I had to know this would come up soon. After all, Alex had been the main person warning me away from Chris.

"Look, Alex..I know what you're thinking, and trust me, I had the same thoughts....but Chris...he's changing...or at least, he wants to," I replied.

"Yeah, I'm not so sure about that," Alex said.

"Alex, what the hell is up with you leaving me at the mall yesterday!" Alex and I both heard Michelle saying from somewhere down the hall.

"You went with Michelle?" I spoke, amused.

"Michelle, look, I'm really sorry okay...I actually forgot-"

"Forgot? About me? That never happens," Michelle said, crossing her arms. "Do you know that I actually had to call Krystal and tell her to come get me!"

"I'll make it up to you," Alex spoke.

"Damn right. For starters, I want you to carry my books," Michelle replied.

"What?"

"I think it'll be a good way for you to work those arms before the game. Uh and...."

As Michelle continued, I noticed Adam in the corner of my eye reading one of the Main Event signs posted on the walls. He was studying it with such intensity that he didn't even notice me when I walked up beside him.

"You're really thinking about this game huh?" I asked.

"No...of course not," Adam replied. "I mean, how can I? I already made up my mind."

"Adam, I know you wanna play. And I know you understand just how important it is," I replied.

Adam looked down as I continued.

"You're captain of the football team. You can't just not play. The team...the school...a lot of people are counting on you" I continued. "You have to do this for them. But mostly, you have to do it for yourself."

"And what if I don't wanna do it for me?" Adam asked, turning around. "Then what?"

"What about me...would you do it for me?" I asked.

I hated to sound so....well cheap bringing something like that up. I told myself I didn't want to be that person. The person that guilts the people they love into doing things for them.

"For you.....?" Adam strayed.

He turned back around and stared at the poster again before turning back to me.

"Okay...for you, I'll do it," Adam replied, smiling.

I hadn't expected him to agree, but he had and I was happy. Happy for Adam and what this meant.

"Guys....help!" Alex shrieked, as Michelle piled yet another book atop his arms.

Adam and I laughed as we rushed over to help Alex from dropping them all.

"Oh come on, take off the skirt, grandma!" Michelle snorted.

Well, after my part was done, all that was left was for Adam to do his. Win the game and play well enough to get a scholarship.

Krystal and Jade helped me spot the scouts in the stands during the game. I only hoped that they spotted Alex and Adam as two people worthy of scholarships.

Of course, I wasn't expecting the game to tie. And because it went over time, the tiebreaker game was going to be played tomorrow. The game that decided which school got their pick of bands for prom as well as the honor of winning period.

Understandably, both Adam and Alex were nervous. They both had done well throughout the game, but it was almost like something was keeping them from playing their best.

I figured I knew what Adam's problem was, but Alex was still a mystery to me. I was going to have to talk to him about it later.

Being Friday night however, my parents had decided to go out for the evening, and I'd convinced my dad to keep my mom out late. They'd been working hard all week and they deserved a break.

Adam's mom was out of town again, which just left Adam and I.

I was in my room catching up on all the Real World episodes I'd missed while Adam had been in the tub, taking an hour long bath filled with Epsom salt to relax his muscles. After the game he played, I wouldn't be surprised if he'd used the whole box.

When I first saw Adam enter my room, I couldn't help but to notice how cute he looked with his hair all wet the way it was.

He was wearing nothing but a tank top and some black boxer briefs and had a towel wrapped around his neck.

I was actually surprised that Adam had even come into my room. It had been a while since Adam had come to talk to me. I was always the one starting conversations with him and coming to him.

But when he did come into the room, wanting to give him my full attention, I turned off the t.v. and sat up.

Adam walked over and sat in my computer chair, which was opposite my bed, after he'd shut the door.

"Did that stuff work?" I asked.

"Perfectly," Adam replied. "I feel like I'm ready to play ten more games."

I smiled.

"Well that's good."

There was a silence after that and looking over at Adam, it almost looked as though there was something he wanted to tell me.

"Adam.."

"I held back," Adam replied.

I didn't know what that was supposed to mean, but I figured he'd tell me.

Adam looked awfully uncomfortable. Like he wanted to tell me but at the same time didn't.

"I"m still...afraid...of...."

He stopped.

I got up and walked over to him, sitting on the very edge of the bed, close enough to him.

"I killed a guy."

"Adam..."

"I mean....that's bad....but...it's like, I'm thinking in the back of my mind that....as long as I did it to protect you, it's okay," Adam replied. "And I don't know if I'm supposed to be thinking like that. I mean, shooting anyone is bad right?"

I didn't know what to say. Obviously, shooting a person is bad. But it was an accident what had happened. And even still, if it wasn't, Adam was protecting me.

"That's what those shrinks want me to accept. That's it's not my fault.....but my hand was on the trigger....and..."

I reached over to Adam and put my hand on his shoulder, and was surprised when he didn't move away.

Instead Adam just looked into my eyes and I stared right back into his green ones.

"Adam....I understand, okay. We all do. No one blames you, least of all me."

It was weird, but somewhere in me felt that that was what Adam had been needing to hear. Not that this wasn't his fault, but that I didn't blame him for what he did. That I understood it.

I knew how much Adam hated looking weak in front of me. How much he hated me seeing him upset. And I'm sure he felt that me seeing him kill Justin must have made me angry or something.

But now Adam knew, and I could tell he felt better. He even looked better.

"I never stopped loving you," Adam spoke.

He was staring at me with such intensity, I felt like melting before him.

"I love you."

I didn't even know what was happening, but next thing I know, Adam was leaning forward and a second later, our lips touched.

At first the kiss was gentle and sweet, but a moment later it turned something fierce and we were both kissing each other as if we were making up for lost time.

Adam didn't put up much of a fight where his tongue was concerned and allowed my own tongue to overtake his and enter his mouth, where I felt his and his teeth and everything in it.

We must have kissed for a good five minutes before we both broke off the kiss.

"I told myself that I wanted my first time to be special," I spoke. "I mean, I know we've...before....but not since the accident."

Adam said nothing, but instead walked over to the light switch and dimmed it then walked back over to me and led me over to the bed where he gently placed me at the top of it and gently got on top of me.

He dived back in to kiss me, but this time the kissing was less fierce. It was a slow kiss. A kiss we both meant and wanted each other to feel.

I could feel Adam's hands moving under me while my own hands caressed his back.

I wanted to take things slow, but at the same time, I wanted Adam so bad, I was doing everything I could to keep from ripping his clothes off.

I felt Adam lifting himself off of me. He didn't get off of me completely. Instead he pulled his tank off of his chest and leaned back over me, this time over my neck, where he started to gently kiss and lick around.

I rubbed Adam's naked back as he continued to pleasure my sensitive neck. I'd always thought I was ticklish when it came to that area, but with Adam, all I felt was pure pleasure.

Once again, Adam lifted off of me, this time to unbutton the buttons on my shirt. The whole time, Adam stared into my eyes while doing it, which he did very slowly.

Once he had it unbuttoned he didn't take it off, but instead started kissing at my neck again. He didn't stay at my neck long as he slowly started down my lower neck and upper chest.

He worked his way over to my right nipple and started to suck on it lightly before doing the same to the left one.

I really wasn't sure what I was supposed to be doing exactly. I knew nothing about sex and the only sex I'd seen was when we all got together and watched all the porn Michelle had gotten for Adam.

And even that hadn't been enough to inform me of what my part was. I felt like Adam was doing all the work while I couldn't do anything to return to favor.

Adam was doing a great job, however, and all thoughts of me doing anything at all were lost once Adam leaned back and sat me up with him.

He stretched out his legs and pulled me between them, keeping me up facing him.

He immediately started kissing me again and this time it was more passionate, which I returned. While I rubbed Adam's smooth and clean back, Adam rubbed my own back through my unbuttoned shirt before finally pushing the shirt off my back with his hands and letting it fall to the bed.

Adam went back to kissing my neck but with me now facing him upright, I also started kissing his neck. We did this for a few minutes before Adam set me back down gently and instead of meeting me back up at my neck or chest, he remained down by my pants.

I watched as he slid his hand inside my loose sweats and played with my raging hard on. I'm sure my dick was as hard as it was gonna get and with Adam squeezing it gently, it was making it worse.

A moment later, I felt Adam lifting me slightly as he worked the sweats off of my legs and then removed my own black boxer briefs.

My cock popped straight into the air.

Adam looked up at me and grinned before lowering his head and placing his warm mouth over the head of my dick, not the whole thing.

The sensation from having his mouth covering my pulsating dick was incredible and I let out a small moan.

Adam took that as his cue to go down further and put more of my dick into his mouth. He took a little more than half of it into his mouth before he started to suck at it slowly.

I closed my eyes and just let out another moan as Adam continued to suck me off. As he started going faster, I grabbed his wet hair and held on to his head as he sucked me off.

It felt so good and I was almost ready to cum.

I guess Adam sensed it, because he slowly let my dick out of his mouth and started licking my body all the way until he got back up to my lips and kissed me again for a few moments before sitting up.

"Your turn, sexy," Adam grinned before, switching places with me.

Adam pulled off his own boxers and threw them aside as I got into position.

I had to admit, I was excited this night had finally come. I'd dreamed about doing this with Adam again, and now, I was actually doing it!

I wasted no more time and went straight to work on Adam's hard cock.

Adam certainly lived up to his Latin roots as he was mumbling all kinds of things in Spanish as I sucked him off.

Unlike Adam, I couldn't tell if he was about to cum or not but I didn't have to as Adam suddenly pulled me off of his dick and sat up, holding my hands in his.

"I wanna go further with you," he said, soothingly. "But if you're not ready..."

"No...I want you to," I replied.

Adam smiled before kissing me slowly and deeply and plopping himself off the bed.

"In that case, stay here," he replied. "I got a couple of things I gotta get."

I watched as Adam, still naked, ran across the hall to his room, leaving me alone.

I shot up and lit a couple of candles and put on some music before Adam came back and shut the door.

In Adam's hands I saw the two things I knew he was going to bring back. Condoms, and lube.

Adam led me back on to the bed and kissed me again, before sitting up and opening the condom package.

"I'll go slow," he said, as he placed the condom on his dick.

While he did that, I instinctively, after having watched all those porn videos, put some of the lube in the crack of my ass.

I thought I'd put on enough but when Adam laughed at me and told me to put just a little bit more and to make sure I rubbed it in deep, I did.

"Okay," Adam spoke.

I turned around and sat up, leaning a bit off the bed as Adam got over my body and got into position.

"Here goes," he said.

I wasn't sure what it was going to feel like but all I knew was that I wanted it. Although, as soon as I felt Adam's cock entering my ass, I was starting to rethink my decision just a little.

It hurt like fucking hell! Fortunately, Adam only shoved in a little at a time before he'd wait a while and shove in some more.

And after only about ten minutes or so, I got used to having something in my ass and it didn't hurt nearly as much.

By the time Adam had all of himself in me, I was holding on to the bed as he started to go in and out faster and faster until he was working up sweat. He wasn't pounding me like some maniac but he certainly did know how to fuck a person!

Adam was moaning and grunting while I was moaning as well.

"Shit" Adam exclaimed.

I felt him pull out of my ass after a while and take off the condom as he started jacking off. He'd gotten the condom off just in time as a fountain of cum started to spurt from his hard dick. After about five or so spurts, Adam was spent and collapsed on top of me, panting like he'd just been playing a game of football for hours.

"Okay...your turn," Adam managed to say.

I was surprised when Adam got into position, ready for me to do to him what he'd just done to me.

I was nervous and excited at the same time.

I grabbed some of the lube and lubed Adam's ass up before sticking my dick into Adam just as slow as he'd done me. Adam didn't wince or wiggle in pain like I'd done, and I knew it was because he was used to sex.

I went the same speed as Adam but didn't last half as long before I too had to cum. I let myself cum all over my sheets, just as Adam had done, before the two of us fell next to each other on the bed, panting like a couple of dogs on a hot day.

We stayed there for a few minutes before Adam smiled and kissed me.

"Sorry about the sheets," he said.

"Yeah, well it was time to change em anyway," I replied.

Adam laughed.

"Oh....you got some...uh..cum in your hair," I spoke.

Saying that suddenly made me remember something. A time when Adam and I had sex before. Not the first time, but another time when he'd gotten some in his hair.

"How'd I do?" Adam asked.

"I rate this first time an A plus for effort," I laughed.

"Damn, I took that bath for nothing then," Adam spoke, sitting up. "Wanna go get cleaned up?"

I smiled at him.

"Sure, but no funny stuff mister. You still got a game to win tomorrow."

I guess the both of us had a lot of things to talk about now. Obviously we were back together, I hoped we were back together.

It was what I wanted and what I knew Adam wanted.

But there was still Vanessa........

"I'll start the water...you change those sheets of yours," Adam spoke.

"If you didn't cum so much!" I called after him.

This was nice. Adam and I were back together again!

So it's finally complete. The entire Angst saga has come to an end. Have no idea what I mean? That's because you haven't been to my YahooGroup lately (shameless plug, check!). While I am doing my best to get the episodes up on Nifty as fast as possible, it's easier to do things directly on my own group. If you cant wait for me to update here, check out the group at:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JoJoPresents-GayFiction/.

Or you can email me with any questions (why do you all love spoilers so much?) at: crossingboi2004@yahoo.com.

Copyright 2005