Angst

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not write about frank sexual situations, nor do I have any desire to.

This is a story about teen love and discovery. Still though, it is a gay work of fiction.

If such work offends you or you are not old enough to read in your area, then do not continue reading.

Please do not copy and paste onto another website without emailing me first. In most cases I'd be glad to let you post on another site, as long as you ask first!

Angst Episode 29 "The Boy That Was John"

JOHN!

I sat up abruptly in bed. I was sweaty and shaking uncontrollably.

John.......but....that was...the guy who........

Why.....

Looking over at my alarm clock, I could barely make out the time of 6:15 a.m. I never woke up early. At least, not that I could remember. And school didn't start until 8:30.

Why was a I dreaming about John? I wish I could remember exactly what I was dreaming about but the whole thing left my brain just as quickly as it had entered. All I knew was that I had been dreaming of John. Again.

When I had first come out of my coma, I'd dreamed about him for a few weeks, but never remembered what any of the dreams were about. I didn't even know what the guy looked like as my friends had all refused to show me. So I guess I had been making up my own mental image of the guy.

But once school started, I stopped. No dreams about him. At all. Up until last week when all of a sudden, they started again.

And I hated it. I'd only been in school for nearly three months now and I hated to be having these dreams...or nightmares rather.

Nightmares because I'd always wake up sweaty and confused. And shaking. One time I even woke up outside near our pool. I guess it all made sense, considering what happened to me was a pretty traumatic thing for anyone to experience.

But I for one did not like waking up all sticky and sweaty or outside for that matter one bit. It was getting to the point where I was starting to get pissed off. But I couldn't tell anyone about my...problem. After all, what were they supposed to do about it? I didn't even know what to do about it and it was happening to me.

So until something significant happened, it looked as though I would be continuing to have these nightmares or whatever they were, indefinitely.

"I need a job," Jade sighed, while slouched against a locker next to mine.

"But I thought your parents wouldn't let you get one," I said, retrieving my anatomy notebook from my locker.

Jade frowned and turned slightly.

"That was before I found out that Harvard looks for well rounded people."

Jade's constant worrying about getting into Harvard was amusing to me. Here she was a straight A student with a 4.0 GPA, well over 50 hours of community service which was 50 more than the rest of us all had, and had also been a member of several clubs and activities since kindergarten. Yet now, in her senior year, which to most seniors is a time to actually relax when it came to the workload, she wanted something so simple as a job. Something the rest of us had had while she was banned from working because of her parents. According to them, working would distract her from her more important priorities which were to make sure she got into Harvard first. Then she could get a real job. Like a lawyer or doctor.

"You know you should ask everyone else," I said. "I have no idea who's hiring."

Before my accident, I never had a job because I guess I didn't want one. Now I didn't have one because.....well because I didn't want one.

"What about hiring?"

I turned to see who'd asked the question only to find Stephen standing behind me.

"Stephen, hey what's up man?" I asked.

"Nothing much. Looking for a job man?" he asked.

"I'm not," I replied. "But she is."

I lightly nudged Jade towards Stephen.

"Jade, Stephen. Stephen, Jade," I introduced them.

The two of them seem to be studying each other before Stephen decided to speak up.

"Uh, so the restaurant where I work is looking for new servers," he said. "Maybe you could come by after school and see if...."

"Ah yeah, thanks," Jade replied.

I looked at Jade and then I looked at Stephen.

"Okay.....so.." I started

"Right, uh, sorry," Jade stuttered while Stephen slowly backed away.

"Having a moment there were we?"

"Shut up," Jade mumbled, pushing my right arm.

"Okay, so can anyone tell me what some of the pre modern film types were?"

She was always making us do something boring, Ms. Andrews was. I thought Theater was supposed to be fun. Or at least that's why I signed up for the class.

Wrong.

"Hey, you okay?" Ryan asked.

All I did was yawn. How did he think something was wrong with me out of that happening?

"I'm fine," I replied. "Why?"

"Nothing," Ryan shrugged. "It's just.....you look a little tired."

Well okay, I was tired. Frequent nightmares will do that to you. But still...

"This isn't about Adam is it?" Ryan asked.

I looked up towards the front where Adam was sitting with Michelle, Gino, and Alex.

I guess I had been thinking about Adam too. I just didn't want to admit it. Things had been...weird between us the past few weeks. I mean, I knew that Adam was...ugh..dating, Vanessa. And he seemed happy enough. So I wasn't going to even try and come between him and his happiness. If that's even what it was.

I still couldn't remember much about our past relationship but I was actually starting to feel some of the love we had for each other, however small the feeling was.

And I think it had a lot to do with John himself. After all, John was the one guy who managed to come between my friends and I. Even my boyfriend.

And now Adam and I were both in different parts of our lives. He was straight again and I...wasn't sure what I was.

I was pretty sure Chris wasn't completely gay. Bi at the most. But mainly, he was just too complicated for me to want a relationship with anymore.

So while Adam had someone, a girl even, I had no one. And I understood that it was largely my fault.

I still didn't know if I wanted Adam like I did before, but I was starting to see that as a possibility.

But it wasn't Adam that I was worried about at the moment.

It was still John.

"I think I might be going insane," I replied.

"What?" Ryan asked, a stern look on his face.

"I've been having nightmares again and they seem to be getting worse," I replied.

Ryan turned sideways to face me better.

"Well, did you ever go talk to someone after the accident?" he asked.

Come to think of it, no, I hadn't. My doctor advised against it in the beginning because he wanted me to be surrounded by people I was familiar with.

Afterward, however, I guess my parents and I just forgot about it because it was never brought up again.

And thank God too. I was more than 'memory competent' enough to know that all a shrink could do was make me think I was okay, rather then actually curing me, if curing was what I needed to be.

That and the fact that in order to get to the root of my 'problems', I would have to tell the shrink EVERYTHING starting with me being gay and I definitely wasn't ready for the rents to know that little detail about me.

"Look maybe it's time you go talk to someone," Ryan replied. "I mean, I think it's-"

"Aren't you forgetting that if I went to a shrink, I'd have to tell them about your part in the whole incident that led up to my memory loss?"

Ryan looked as though I sucker punched him in the face.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean-"

"And Brandon is gonna tell us all about it." Ms Andrews spoke.

It occurred to me that Ryan and I had been doing what we normally did everyday in class, which consisted of talking whenever the teacher was.

And now everyone was quiet and looking back at me.

"Um...."

"Since you seem to know all about it already," Ms. Andrew replied.

It? What the hell was it anyway?

Shit.

"Um...yeah...so...-"

"Up here Mr. Jameson. To the stage," Ms. Andrews called as she stepped off the stage and went back to her desk.

Ryan gave me a supportive glance before I got up and headed to the front, ignoring the glances of everyone else in the class as I did.

"Okay," I started once I was up there. "So....classic theater is......it's....."

Damn. I hated being put on the spot.

I vaguely noticed Alex mouthing something I couldn't understand while everyone else stared at me expectantly.

Well what the hell. Might as well make up something.

"Okay, classic theater...it's-"

I stopped shortly when I realized something.

Somebody was...clapping.

It was soft but it was growing louder as it sounded like whoever was clapping was moving from the back to the front.

I couldn't see them however, as the only light in the room was on the stage. The audience was all dark except for the first couple of rows.

It seemed like everyone was now confused.

"Mr. Jameson, if you don't know....."

Closer and closer the person got to me until I could finally make out a face.

A face I'd never seen before.

But oddly enough...I knew who it was.

"Classic theater....it's-"

"If you don't know then don't even bother," John said.

"What?"

"You never were any good at figuring out the stuff right in front of you, were you?"

I looked around at everyone, including my friends. Did they not notice that the guy who tried to kill me had just walked into the class and started talking to me like he was even supposed to be here?

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I think you know the answer to that one, don't you?"

No actually I didn't. Shouldn't he have been in jail or something?

"Brandon?"

I was brought back to Earth with the sudden shaking of my shoulder by Alex.

I hadn't even noticed him getting on stage.

"You don't see him?" I asked.

Alex looked at me, concern all over his face.

"See who, B?"

I looked back out to where John was sitting.

He was gone.

"I...."

"Well, it's obvious where your head has been Mr. Jameson," Ms. Andrews said, approaching Alex and I. "Just have a seat."

This was strange.

Had John even been here? Or did I have to add hallucinating to the list of problems I now had?

"Come on," Alex said, ushering me off the stage.

Maybe it was time to talk about someone about my problems. Before they got any worse.

"Are you absolutely sure you don't want me to stick around?" Krystal asked as she and Jade entered the restaurant Stephen had told her about earlier.

She was serious about getting a job and showing up was her way of proving it to herself and everyone else.

"Don't worry Krystal," Jade started. "I'm just gonna fill out an application and head down to Starbucks to do some last minute cramming. You can come pick me up later on tonight."

Krystal didn't seem too convinced but Jade just smiled.

"I can always sell my body on the street," she joked.

Krystal shoved her a bit as the two of them made their way up to the front desk.

"So what can I do you in for today?" an older woman asked.

Jade looked over at Krystal before responding.

"Actually I was told this place was hiring," she replied. "Is that true?"

"It depends," the woman replied. "Who told you that?"

Krystal and Jade exchanged glances.

"Uh, Stephen..." Jade replied.

The older woman studied Jade for a bit before she finally relented.

"I could actually really use some help right now," she replied. "If you have some time I'd love to put you to work."

"Just like that? No questions or papers to fill out?" Jade asked.

"Hey if Stephen told you we were hiring, then you must be someone he agrees with which means you're also someone I agree with."

Jade wasn't quite sure what that was supposed to mean but she was ready to start working.

"Um, yeah," she replied. "I can start right now."

"Good," the older woman replied. "I'm Nancy, your boss. We have some extra slacks and a shirt about your size in the back. Get those on and talk to Stephen. He's the one who's gonna be training you."

Jade and Krystal watched as Nancy disappeared to somewhere in the back.

"Are you sure you're gonna be able to handle this?" Krystal asked. "This is like the busiest restaurant in town."

"I'll be fine," Jade replied.

"If you say so," Krystal replied. "Now who's this Stephen guy? Is he cute?"

"Goodbye Krystal," Jade said pushing her towards the door.

"Okay but you're totally dishing when I come back," Krystal replied.

Jade watched as Krystal left the restaurant and turned just in time to see Stephen coming towards her.

"You actually showed up," he said, crossing his arms.

"I actually showed up," Jade repeated.

Stephen smirked at Jade.

"What?" she asked.

"Well when I suggested you stop by it was only because Brandon was there," he replied. "I never actually thought you'd come."

Now it was Jade's turn to cross her arms.

"Why?" she asked, hostility on the edge of her tongue. "What, you think I think I'm too good for this place?"

"Honestly, it's the other way around," Stephen replied.

Jade glared at Stephen who glared right back.

"Maybe I shouldn't take this job after all," she replied.

"You'd be proving my point nicely if you didn't," Stephen replied. "Of course, people like you always do."

Jade, who had already turned to leave, turned back around.

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Stephen chuckled lightly.

"Relax," he replied. "Just...that you preps and the like don't really know what real work is."

"Preps?"

"Stay. See if I care," Stephen replied, turning back around. "Hell, maybe you'll even prove me wrong. But I doubt it."

Jade groaned inwardly before heading to the back as well. She was going to prove Stephen wrong. Just to shut his cocky ass up.

Despite my weird experience at school, everyone still denied having seen John. I hope I wasn't going crazy. That would just mean even more hospitals and more doctors and more things that I so didn't need to deal with. This was my senior year of high school after all. A time to relax somewhat. Not a time to worry about getting locked up in a mental asylum.

Still though, despite my protest that I was fine, Gino and Alex made it their business to make sure I was escorted home by the both of them.

I think they were humoring me somewhat by acting like there was a possibility that I had seen John earlier, when it more than likely seemed like I was crazy.

"Okay, look I appreciate the sympathy," I started as I set foot in my house. "But really, I'm fine."

What exactly was it going to take for them to understand that until around....oh 4 or 5 a.m. tomorrow morning when I had my next nightmare, that I'd be fine?

"Okay, so we can't hang out after school with you then?" Gino asked shutting the front door.

Truthfully I wasn't in any kind of mood for the either of them. I wanted to be alone so I tried to tune the both of them out as I sifted through the days mail.

One envelope in particular had my interest peaked.

It was one of those large manila envelopes people used when they had either a lot of papers to send or top secret documents.

This envelope, however, was addressed to me and was quite thick.

I quickly put it to the back of the rest of the mail I held in my hand so as not to draw any attention to it. Alex and Gino seemed to be watching my every move and the last thing I needed was them asking questions.

"Hey how about a game of Madden?" Alex suggested plopping himself down on one of the sofas in the living room.

"I swear, all you think about are games," Gino said, turning on the t.v.

Good. They were occupied. Now all I had to do was come up with a way to get them to forget about me for a little while......

I took out my cellphone as I stood to the side of the kitchen where I wouldn't be seen and dialed home.

"I'll get it," I called out rushing to the phone.

Alex and Gino acknowledged that the phone had rang but continued to argue over which show to watch on t.v.

"Oh hi Chris," I said overly loud as I made my way upstairs to my room.

Of course, Chris wasn't really on the phone but they didn't know that and all I needed was some time to myself.

And some time to open that highly suspicious envelope.

Once upstairs in my room I shut my door and locked it just in case and then helped myself up on my bed.

I wasn't sure why, but for some reason I found myself nervous to open it. It was weird. I mean, what exactly was I expecting to find inside? Anthrax?

Still though, I got over my initial feeling and quickly tore open the envelope, pulling out the papers inside.

And they were......what the hell........

Summon to appear in court to testify.....against.........

John?

But....

I wasn't even sure I even wanted to face him. I mean, I know that I said that I wanted closure and to be able to finally come to terms with what happened to me but it's one thing to say what you want when you don't ever think you'll have to do it and another thing to have to actually do it.

And this thing that I had to do was going above and beyond the proverbial call.

And it also didn't make sense. Why on Earth would having me testify be so important if I had no idea if the stuff I was testifying about would even be true? I did after all lose my memory. So what good was I?

"You're not really gonna go to that thing are ya?"

I turned to see who was speaking.

Sure enough, it was him again.

"Why do you keep showing up?" I asked. "You're making me look crazy!"

"Hey you're making yourself look crazy," John replied, shoving me aside to lay next to me on my bed. "Besides I think we both know what's really going on here."

What was really going on here? How cheesy was it that I was talking to myself or...whatever this was that I was doing? I mean, it just wasn't making sense and I was starting to get sick of it all!

I quickly hoped off my bed and walked over to the mirror connected to my dresser and stood in front of it.

"I want you to leave me alone and go away," I said.

I might as well humor myself.

John chuckled to himself.

"Go away? I'm sorry but just so were clear, do you actually think I'm really here?"

I looked into the mirror at where he was on the bed.

I was positive he wasn't here. But yet, I saw him. Another hallucination. A real one. A....

"You're not a ghost," I replied. "I mean, if I'm supposed to appear in court to testify against you then that must mean that you're still alive somewhere."

"Not just somewhere, a corrective facility you asshole!" John exclaimed sitting up. "It's all your fault you know. If you had just let me have Gino like I wanted-"

"You're wasting your breath," I replied turning to face him. "I don't remember what happened anyway."

John seemed to flinch a little when I had said this but a sly grin grew on his face.

"Or so you keep saying."

He got off the bed and walked over to my window looking out of the blinds.

"Excuse me?" I asked, shocked.

Of course I didn't remember what happened to me. The nonsense that this guy was coming up with....

"Well I just meant that if you really don't remember anything then I guess that means that I win right? That I managed to destroy you somehow."

"Now wait a second..."

"Unless of course you don't WANT to remember," John said turning around.

He and I stared at each other for a few moments before I spoke up.

"What are you talking about?"

"There's a difference. Some people really do lose their memory and that sucks for them but what do they have really? Not what you seem to have...all these friends to help you and your past staring you right in the face the whole time."

"Well yeah but-"

"Maybe you just don't want to remember because you don't wanna go back to being the paranoid train wreck you were before it happened."

All of this coming from a figment of my imagination. Of course, if I didn't remember anything then how was I even imaging this conversation with John?

John looked over at the papers I had taken out of the envelope.

"Well I guess we'll find out one way or another won't we," he said.

Apparently so. But while he was here I just had to ask him all the things about him and what had happened that my friends refused to tell me. Like why I thought John was crazy. Or better yet why I'd gotten myself into a position to allow him access to kidnap me.

But I found myself suddenly being shaken.

Shaken awake.

"Huh...what....."

"Brandon....you okay man?"

It was Alex. And Gino.

"What?"

"The phone rang...we thought you were on it but then we heard you talking to someone.....just thought we'd come to see what was going on," Gino replied.

Another nightmare? But then why....

"You're sweating," Alex replied, sitting himself on the bed next to me.

I looked around for John already knowing that he wasn't here. He never was.

"Bad dream," I replied.

What was happening to me and my life all of a sudden? I needed answers and soon. Before John took over my life. Again. **********************************************************************

"Miss, excuse me."

Jade turned around and headed over to the customer that had called her.

"Yes?"

"I asked for a coffee twenty minutes ago....and what about my food? You said it would be right out."

Jade sighed inwardly and calmed herself down.

"I'm sorry sir but we're really busy tonight," she replied. "I'm doing the best that I-"

"Miss....Miss...waitress!"

Jade looked at the man she was already with and put on a fake smile.

"I'll be right back," she said before heading off to attend to yet another customer.

"What can I do for-"

"There is chili in my soup. I specifically stated that I can't eat chili for numerous reasons the most important and lawsuit worthy of the bunch being that I'm ALLERGIC AND CAN DIE!"

"Miss if you'd please-"

"Calm down? Okay, I'll go ahead and do that. Right before I keel over and die due to your incompetence!"

"Dude, she's a mess," Stephen's friend Dan laughed.

Stephen and Dan were watching Jade from the kitchen and so far, Dan was right, Jade was a mess.

Already she'd managed to screw up eight customers orders, given another eight of them the wrong meal, and a few others had left from waiting too long for their food.

"Yeah well she's here to prove a point," Stephen replied.

"And what would that be? That she can be the worst waitress ever?" Dan asked. "Because if that's it, I think she's pretty much proved it don't you?"

Stephen just continued to watch as Jade tried to clam down several customers at once.

"Well, somebody should get out there," Dan replied.

Stephen sighed and went out to help Jade.

"Excuse me, is there a problem?" he asked one of the customers.

"Are you the manager?"

Stephen found that a funny question. He was 16 years old. Did he look like a manager?

"If you'd all just calm down, I can get whatever problem-"

"Problems! Plural. We're all having more than one."

"Right," Stephen sighed.

He noticed that Jade looked exhausted after having only being here just over three hours.

"If you'd just wait for a little while while I get you some other servers-"

"Thank god!" one customer blurted out.

Stephen walked back to the kitchen leaving Jade to follow.

"I thought you were gonna prove me wrong?" he asked.

"Yeah well that was before I saw how hard this job actually was," Jade replied.

Stephen and Jade continued walking past the various chefs and others in the kitchen.

"You know it's not too late to quit. I can tell Nancy that you wanna quit."

Truthfully, Jade did feel like quiting. But that was before the asshole in front of her had spoken those words. And suddenly her dislike for him was making her want to stay.

"You know what? I'm gonna stay," she replied.

"And do what? Cause more chaos?"

"So this is the first thing I'm not good at right away," Jade replied. "I'll get it."

"And when will that be? When people stop coming because they're afraid to get you as a waitress?"

"You know what Stephen-"

"Somebody get back out there and get some food to those customers please," Nancy said as she passed Stephen and Jade.

Both teens glared at each other before Jade turned around and headed back out of the kitchen.

Stephen chuckled to himself. Watching Jade fall flat on her ass was going to be nice entertainment for him.

Thank God for parents. And while my own were still both at work, Alex's mom had needed Alex to come home to take one of his brothers to the hospital behind a broken thumb. And Gino's mom wanted to have a last minute dinner with him before she left for Nevada to handle a criminal trial.

Which left me alone. Again.

I was slightly afraid that I'd fall asleep again. And then I'd see John or the lack thereof and things would get worse. So I drank a little bit of Mountain Dew and some coffee. Okay so a lot of Mountain Dew and coffee, but what the hell, you only live once.

Besides, I had a lot on my mind. Too much to just fall asleep on.

What exactly was I supposed to tell my parents when they came home? About the envelope I'd gotten, anyway?

I mean, were they even going to let me testify? Granted it was straight up answering a lawyer's questions. But it would also mean that I'd have to see John again. And it had only been a few months since the whole incident. Maybe they weren't ready for me to see John yet.

I wasn't even sure I even wanted to see John.

But....I wanted answers. Needed answers.

I looked down at the paper that I had been holding in my hands for an hour now.

The paper that contained John's profile. Age. Description. Everything but a real picture of the guy.

I had spent a long amount of time debating over what I now decided to go ahead and do.

Calling John.

Highly irrational, yes. But seeing as though there were a lot of irrational things going on in my life at the moment, I figured I might as well.

I picked up the phone next to my bed and dialed the number that was given on the sheet.

It rang on the other end a few times before someone picked up.

"Hello?"

It was a female. And I got the weirdest feeling that I'd heard her voice before.

"Ah..yeah..I'm actually calling for John...is he around?" I asked.

"Um..I'm sorry, can I ask who's calling?"

I couldn't be sure, but it sounded as though the woman on the other end had been crying.

"This is..uh, Bill...one of John's best friends," I replied. "I'm actually worried about him."

Maybe I was slightly worried about John, however weird that sounded.

But I had a feeling something else was going on here.

"Um...is John alright?" I asked.

"I wish I knew," the woman replied. "John's been missing since yesterday."

"What?"

"I'm afraid you've called at a bad time-"

"Oh...right. I'm sorry," I replied, hanging up.

Missing? What the....

So...could I have actually been seeing John earlier?

No. Impossible. No one else had seen him at school earlier when I had.

And what would explain what had been happening to me lately?

This was all too weird. My life was being screwed over and there was nothing I could do about it.

"Two eighty-six....looks like that's it for me," Dan said.

The restaurant was closed and Dan had been counting the day's tip money that he'd made.

"Well, I guess it's safe to assume that you made...oh about..two hundred eighty-six less than that, huh," Stephen mocked as he cleared a table nearby.

"No...I uh, made something," Jade replied.

She'd received a two dollar tip from a little old lady who didn't care about the service just as long as she ate. Other than that, no one bothered to leave any tips for her.

And justifiably so, as she had been a horrible waitress.

Still, it was her first day. There was still time to get the hang of things. If she lasted that long.

"Okay so I'm gonna get out of here," Dan said standing up. "Got a shitload of homework to copy."

Stephen laughed as Dan exited through the back, leaving himself and Jade alone.

Jade put her head down on the bar counter that she had just cleaned.

"I'm a horrible waitress," she mumbled.

"Well I could have told you that," Stephen replied, wiping another nearby counter down.

"Don't get even more cocky," Jade replied. "That doesn't mean I'm quiting."

"Well I'd be surprised if you did," Stephen said.

Jade sat up.

"What?"

"Well after a day of seeing you work, it was like seeing the mighty fall, you know?"

Jade frowned at Stephen.

"Given the type of person you are-"

"Wait a second....the type of person I am?"

Jade was starting to regain her hostility towards Stephen again.

Stephen stopped wiping the counter and took a seat next to Jade.

"Well I just meant that you're a busybody," he replied. "It's like you like work or something."

Jade gasped.

"And who are you supposed to be, my mighty savior giving me a chance at your place of work?"

"After today, you oughtta be glad Nancy didn't fire your ass."

"Oh what and I suppose you want me to thank you for still having a job right?"

Stephen shrugged.

"I don't have to stay here for this," Jade replied, getting up. "I'm gonna go call Krystal."

"You do that now," Stephen replied, chuckling to himself.

I went to sleep before my parents got home. And they didn't try to wake me up thank God.

It sure was hard too. After all, that coffee and Mountain Dew had me wired. But regardless though, I'm sure that if they had tried to get me up, I'd have been a complete mess.

But now that it was a completely new day, it was easier for me to see things more clearly.

And boy did I have a lot of 'things' to see.

John was missing. And had been since the day before yesterday. Presumably he took off once he got wind of the whole upcoming trial thing.

But for some reason, a crazy lunatic who once tried to kill being out there somewhere...anywhere...didn't worry me much as having another weird and creepy hallucination with the crazy lunatic that tried to kill me.

If I saw John face to face in the flesh, then I knew that I was just like everyone else. Down to and connected to Earth.

But if I had another hallucination, then it would be another sign that I was going crazy. And I did not want to have to think that I was actually going crazy.

That was the last thing that I needed.

But despite all that was bothering me, I decided that I was going to act as I normally did and at least try to push John out of my mind.

For the time being, anyway.

It didn't matter, however, that I was trying to act normal by all standards. Because after being at school for only an hour, I'd already gotten the unwanted sympathy from my friends.

"Are you okay?" Gino asked me.

We were at his locker and were the only two out of my circle of friends there.

"Yeah," I lied. "Why?"

Gino gave me a serious stare.

"Don't you think that after a year and a half, I'd know my own friend?" he asked.

Well to me it was about five months, but whatever.

"Look, there's nothing wrong okay. I just had a little too much coffee last night," I replied.

Gino shut his locker and locked down at his watch.

"Last minute cramming huh?" he asked.

"Yeah," I replied, starting to walk with him.

I didn't want to burden Gino with my problems. Not right now anyway.

"Listen, about yesterday when...when you thought you saw John..." he started.

Apparently though, he saw it differently.

"Look I told you-"

"Yeah, I know. That you must have just been really tired or something," Gino replied.

Obviously that had to be it. It was weird, sure. But there was no getting around that it was out of left field and there was no other explanation for it.

"But still, it's a pretty big deal. I mean, John is-"

"Yeah, Gino. I know," I said, shortly.

I didn't need or want to be reminded about any of that stuff. Period.

"I'm just concerned-"

"Okay, so be concerned," I replied. "But I can tell you that you'd be wasting your time."

I didn't give Gino a chance to reply as I walked off, leaving him alone in the empty halls.

I was annoyed by him. That and I had to take a serious piss.

I walked into the restroom and unzipped. After I was finished I walked over to the sinks and started washing my hands.

But once I looked into the mirror, that was when I got my biggest shock.

"You."

"Me."

John. Here. In the bathroom.

He was standing behind me, just outside one of the stalls.

"I gotta say, I never expected us to ever wind up in a bathroom together," he said, moving towards me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"You don't know?"

I turned off the water and turned around to face him.

"I just had to see you again."

"Why?"

"Well I had to know what you remember? After all, I was told you lost your memory in that accident of yours."

"Because of you!"

"It's like I told you before, if you had just left well enough alone."

Well if he was going to do this to me then I was going to do a little something to him.

"Well I remember everything."

John seemed to shrivel a little.

"Really?"

"Every little detail. And when I tell them what you did to me in court, you're gonna spend a lot of time in jail."

John glared at me for a little while before he said anything.

"You're bluffing."

"Really? Gosh, John. I would have liked to think that after all this time you'd know me just a little bit better than that."

John didn't say anything.

"Guess not," I replied, moving towards the towels to dry my hands.

I couldn't see John as I had my back to him, but I could tell that he was shaking. He probably believed me.

"So what are you gonna do, John?" I asked.

I figured I could humor myself. Be bold. After all, the guy wasn't even really here.

I turned around just in time to see Gino entering the restroom.

"Brandon I-"

He froze all of a sudden and looked in the direction that I had just been talking to the imaginary John.

"John..."

What....you mean....

"Wait a second-"

"Gino," John replied.

"You can see him?" I asked.

Gino glanced at me briefly before he looked back at John.

This was strange. Here I had been thinking that I was hallucinating again when I was actually talking to the real John!

But apparently the mental image I had imagined John to look like was exactly what he actually looked like. Which confused me beyond belief.

Had John really been there the other times? I hated to have to keep going through this, but at this point, things couldn't get any worse.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Gino asked.

I could tell he was containing his anger for my sake. But he was like a lit fuse right now. One wrong word..........

"I wanted to...I needed to see you," he replied.

Funny how once he was around Gino he sounded and acted like some scared little kid and not an overconfident psycho.

"Well I don't wanna see you," Gino replied. "And aren't you supposed to be in like jail or something?"

"I...kinda escaped.....because of what's coming up. I didn't wanna face it," John replied.

"Didn't wanna face what?" Gino asked.

Oh great. He knew about the trial. So he escaped. And...what, hid in one of the bathrooms at my school? This guy was seriously fucked up.

"Gino, look, I think maybe we should just go," I said.

"I guess this was a mistake," John said. "I'll go."

"Yeah, you do that," Gino replied, through gritted teeth.

And as John walked right out of the restroom, Gino turned to look at me.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked.

Okay? My life was a wreck. And I had just come face to face with the guy who'd tried to kill me. For the third time in two days, no less. And this time, he had really been here.

"I'll be okay," I replied.

I had no idea if that was true or not, but I certainly hoped that it was.

"You got a job and didn't tell me?" Michelle spoke, surprising Jade.

"Yeah, it was kinda last minute," Jade replied.

"And now she's thinking about quiting," Krystal replied.

"Why?" Michelle asked.

Michelle, Krystal, and Jade locked arms and started walking down the hallway slowly.

"Well not counting the fact that I completely and totally sucked at it, there's this guy-"

"Oh a guy. Is he hot?" Michelle asked.

"What? I..."

"He's gorgeous. Although I think he's a junior," Krystal replied.

"That's not too bad. Still an upperclassman," Michelle said. "So tell me more about your so called disastrous first day on the job."

'Well-"

"I think I can do better job of that."

All three girls stopped to see Stephen standing next to a row of lockers.

"Ugh, just ignore him," Jade groaned.

Stephen smirked as Jade pulled Krystal and Michelle along.

"Cute," Michelle said, as they started walking away.

"Very," Krystal added.

"No try stupid," Jade replied. "I swear, the guy drives me nuts. I can't stand him."

"I saw the way he looked at you," Michelle quipped.

"He's so into you," Krystal said.

"What? No-"

"And you know you're into him."

"Okay you two have to be high. Are you nuts?"

"Okay," Michelle replied. "Deny it all you want."

Jade didn't see anything to deny. She hated Stephen. End of story.

"You have to admit, he is hot though," Michelle said.

That was something that Jade definitely could agree with.

Another school day was over and I still had no idea how I was supposed to tell my parents that I was going to have to appear in court to testify against John. That and the fact that I had run into the guy at school today.

And I was still trying to wrap my head around that one.

He had claimed to be there to see Gino. Yet he was waiting in the bathroom to see me. A clear sign that he wasn't all the way put together in the head.

Was I gonna go? Was I not gonna go? It was all so trivial. And strange. And-

The doorbell interrupted my thoughts and I quickly rushed to get it.

"Gino....Adam....guys?"

Everyone was here. Jade, Alex, Gino, Adam, and Krystal.

"What are you guys all doing here?" I asked.

"Honey who's at the door?" my mom called out.

While I moved to allow everyone access inside, I couldn't help but notice the serious looks on all their faces.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"You mean...you don't know?" Gino asked.

"Know?" I asked. "Know what?"

"Oh, hi everyone. What brings you all by?" my mom asked once we were all in the living room.

Everyone looked like they just found out that someone they knew had just died.

"Sorry...we just thought you all knew..." Gino replied.

Knew what?

My mom, who started flipping channels stumbled upon something that startled me.

She turned up the volume while I took a closer look at the television.

"The young teen who was arrested last summer had recently escaped from holding in the Clarent County mental facility where he was awaiting an impending trial."

John...they were talking about John on the news? But why?

"Sources say that he had been spotted at a high school in Meadowbrook earlier today which is where his car was found overturned near the Joe Pool lake. As of now police have not been able to recover a body..."

What the hell.....John's car...no body....he was dead....or not dead....

"Honey..."

"I'm fine." I replied before I was even asked.

I had to be fine. I wanted to be fine.

"I'm sorry," Gino said.

"Sorry? About what?" I asked. "The guy deserves whatever happens to him."

Maybe he was dead. Maybe he wasn't. But for some reason, I understood everything a lot better. In a way he'd helped me some. Helped me to understand myself a little better.

Still though, there was a possibility that he was out there somewhere. Waiting for me.

But at least this time, I had an idea what to expect from him. And I wouldn't let him do to me again what he'd done before.

He couldn't. Not with the support system I had this time around.

I had to just let whatever he was go.

A/N

Well as you can probably tell from the way I ended this one that I'm not quite done with John. He pretty much changed everyone's lives with what he did so I want to make sure that when I am done with him, at least something more significant happens.

But there you go. Some people were wondering what happened to John. I guess that's somewhat of an answer. Or not, depending on how you want to look at it, lol.

Also, if you don't know by now, I have a YahooGroup now with extra episodes of Angst not on Nifty as well as two other stories, one of which I just started posting on Nifty. The link is at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JoJoPresents-GayFiction/.

And if you don't feel like taking the time to join or cant, then you can always leave me feedback at: crossingboi2004@yahoo.com. I honestly love hearing any type of feedback good or bad and always reply!

Copyright 2005