Angst

Okay so looking at my life now as opposed to then.....things were certainly A LOT different now than the were a year ago.

A year ago I had just started my friendships with Adam and Gino. A year ago I'd informed my best friend that I was gay. A year ago I'd sacrificed everything to protect my friends.

But then, there were other things.

Like a year ago, Adam had gone from dating Michelle, who also a year ago had been caught cheating on Adam with her boyfriends then best friend, who was now actually one of my friends, when he used to be me enemy......mouthful there.........to dating me.

But today. Today things were different.

Today, Adam was no longer dating me. And was he dating another boy like everyone would assume a gay guy would do? No, he was shacking up with Vanessa.

Okay so not shacking up, but still, the two had gotten awfully close over the next two weeks of school, something that I'd unfortunately had to witness.

Not that I was upset. No that wasn't it. I had my own things to worry about.

Like getting Chris to be my boyfriend somehow.

I'd been thinking about that one a lot over the past two weeks and it seemed....do-able, somewhat.

Over those same two weeks, Chris and I had managed to get a lot closer than we had been.

I'd learned a lot about him. Like that he had two younger sisters and an older brother who was in college.

Or like how when he was younger he used to sleepwalk every night.

Or, most importantly, how he really didn't have a girlfriend, like he'd told me.

I took that at for what it was. Ample opportunity for me to try and win his heart. I hated feeling like I was scheming to get in his pants. Because that wasn't what it was.

From the very first day that I had seen Chris, I had felt a connection to him. A bond almost.

That in itself sounded so weird. Chris and I were friends. Chris was straight. I was gay.

But I was also different from last year. Because this year I went after what I wanted, which was definitely going to start this week.

"Romeo....Romeo...where for art thy Romeo,"

God. Shakespeare. That's what I was having to sit through at the moment as a girl named Melody, who I had a feeling didn't like me for some reason, and this boy who's name I'd forgotten were on stage in theater acting out a scene from Romeo and Juliet.

Bored to tears was what I was. And I had something on my mind.

"Hey let me ask you a question," I started.

Ryan and had chosen to sit at the back of the class instead of the front like normally. Alex, Adam, Gino and Michelle all still refused to talk to Ryan, so they had remained in the second row behind the first at the front as usual.

"Now?" Ryan whispered.

I looked up at the still boring scene being acted.

"Yeah," I replied.

I could tell that Ryan didn't want to get in trouble. But we were at the back of the room so I figured there wouldn't be a problem if I wanted to chat with him right now.

"I've been thinking about what I wanna do with my life," I continued. "And I was wondering if you could give me your opinion on something."

"Go ahead," Ryan replied.

"Well, I really like writing," I replied.

Something that I must have picked up after the accident as my friends had informed me that I was never one to write much before. But now....now I found myself writing about any and everything, and I found it to be sort of an escape for me. I loved writing and figured that I could do something with it for the rest of my life.

Of course, it wasn't the only reason I brought the subject up.

"I was wondering what you think of me writing for the school paper."

Ryan shrugged.

"Well, no one really reads it....I mean......why would you wanna write for it?" he asked.

"No one reads it?" I asked.

"Shhhh!" came the shrilly voice of our teacher Ms. Andrews.

Ryan sunk down a little in his seat while I glanced back up at the stage.

"And Romeo is thy love, thy one and only....."

"But you'd read it if I wrote for it right?" I asked, picking back up the conversation.

Ryan glanced back at Ms. Andrews before replying.

"Well yeah, but what about the other three thousand something students?" he asked.

Well it's understandable that no one would read something that wasn't interesting. I'd have to give the school a scandal. A shocker of some sort. And then they'd all read for sure.

"Thanks Ryan," I replied. "You've been a really big help."

I knew what I was going to do. About Chris and about myself.

"And end scene....." *********************************************************************

It was now Tuesday morning and Gino found himself more than a little frustrated. For several reasons.

For one, he'd let another two weeks go by without making a move on Brandon. And that was mostly due to the fact that he wasn't sure how he wanted to do it. With everyone but Brandon himself knowing that he was gay, it made it a little harder for him to be more than friendly towards him. One would think that with Adam being out of the picture things would actually be easier than before, especially now that it seemed Brandon was completely available as his crush on Alex had since dissipated.

He just wanted to take things slow, but even that was frustrating him because before he met Brandon, he'd never been one to 'take things slow' with anyone or anything. He'd always been a go getter and usually got whatever he wanted when he wanted it. Brandon was the one exception to that rule. Only, when he and Brandon had a falling out, Gino went right back to how he used to be, moving fast. Which was probably why he'd missed all the signs about John that Brandon had seen. And he knew better than anyone how that scenario turned out.

But he was also frustrated for another reason. Chris. Besides the fact that Gino didn't like Chris for being a cocky son of a bitch who knew he was a cocky son of a bitch, he also despised him for being the latest person to grab Brandon's attention.

But that wasn't it. No there was something else about Chris. Putting aside the strange exchange of words the two had shared at Adam's birthday party, Gino had this....feeling about Chris. One that was telling him to keep an eye on him whenever he was around Brandon.

Which is exactly what he had been doing the past two weeks. Keeping an eye on Chris.

Unfortunately, he wasn't expecting to find himself alone with Chris anytime soon, let alone now.

"Oh great, and I figured today was gonna be a good day," Chris sighed. "After seeing your face....now I'm not so sure."

"What the hell do you want asshat?" Gino asked, testily.

He wasn't in any mood for any of Chris's games, and was definitely trying to let him know it.

"Now Gino, why so hostile? Your bitch not give you any last night?"

Gino wanted to reach over and strangle the life out of Chris. But he realized how it would make him look in Brandon's eyes if he found out that he'd hurt Chris at all and forced himself to calm down a little.

"You get way too excited to see me, you know that man?" Chris said, turning towards a urinal to take the piss he'd come into the restroom for.

"I know what you're all about," Gino started.

He wasn't sure what he was doing but he wanted to do something.

"Really?" Chris asked. "I thought no one would ever figure out....my secret. So did the bitch tell you I got her pregnant too?"

For a moment Gino almost thought Chris was being serious. But the moment he saw that trademark cocky grin spread on his face, he knew better.

His thoughts were only confirmed when he heard Chris snicker, while zipping up.

"You sound like one of those overbearing sociopaths with those tendencies to overreact," he said, heading for the sinks "In other words, you sound like a fag."

Gino clenched his fists together, but made no moves.

"You know I don't think Brandon would appreciate you saying that kind of stuff about gay people," he said.

"A joke moron," Chris said, heading for the paper towels. "It was a joke."

"Like you?"

Chris tuned to face Gino and stared him in the eyes.

"You have a problem with me?"

"Obviously," Gino spat out, harshly.

Gino found Chris's behavior amusing and puzzling at the same time. It was after all Chris who'd initiated the strange conversation between them two weeks ago.

"I know all about you and your little....obsession with Brandon," Chris replied.

"How-"

"Not hard to figure out really," Chris cut Gino off. "Plus, I kind of know some things."

Gino didn't like the direction the conversation was headed and had to change it fast.

"Yeah well I'm not the one Alex and everyone else wants to stay away from Brandon, now am I?" he asked, a bit smugly.

Chris looked up from the mirror in which he was standing in front of.

Gino realized that he'd obviously hit a nerve.

"So why does Alex hate you so much?" he asked.

Chris rolled his tongue on the inside of his cheek while moving over to dry his hands, never taking his eyes off Gino.

"You'd have to ask Alex about that one," he replied. "I don't exactly keep up with everyone's feelings."

"Alex is a pretty good judge of character," Gino replied. "There's gotta be SOMETHING wrong with you for him to-"

"You know what?" Chris started, cutting Gino off. "I don't really give a shit what Alex thinks about me. He's not Brandon now is he?"

Chris didn't leave Gino any room to argue as he exited the bathroom leaving Gino to fume to himself.

So this was the Journalism room.

I decided to go ahead with my plan to write for the school paper and had skipped lunch in favor of checking out the room.

And I was impressed to say the least.

It was large and organized. Pretty professional looking and it looked as though each desk had its own computer for writing.

"Yo, dude....what's up man?" some guy asked me.

He was looking at me funny as if he was expecting me to tell him that I was lost. I noticed several of the other students in the room looked up at me as well.

I guess it did look a little funny for me to have just waltzed right in here.

"Actually...."I started, looking around. "I was wondering what I'd have to do in order to write for the paper."

Everyone looked amongst themselves while the guy who'd questioned me crossed his arms.

Looking him over, I could tell that he had to be younger than me. At the very least the guy was a junior.

He was also fairly cute. He was a few inches shorter than me with light short cropped brown hair that didn't seem to be styled any particular way. He had brown eyes and rosy cheeks that made him look as if he was blushing or something. And although I couldn't tell for sure, he looked to have a bit of muscle as well.

"You wanna write for the Grapevine?" the boy asked.

I looked around at everyone before looking back at him.

"Uh, yeah," I replied. "Is there something wrong with that?"

The boy smirked before he uncrossed his arms and walked over to a nearby computer, leaning over behind someone who was sitting at it.

Okay. Weird.

"The Grapevine's all about commitment," the boy said. "Can't have people who're gonna quit on us after a week."

"Oh, well I don't think-"

"And you have to know how to write, too," the boy continued. "Not just like those silly little one page papers the kids up here write in English. I'm talking read-worthy stories. Stuff that you can look back on years from now and still be proud of."

Uh, last I checked this was just a high school newspaper, not The New York Times. A high school paper that apparently not many people read, as well.

"Look, all I'm asking for is a chance," I said.

"And I'm willing to give you one," the boy replied.

By now it registered with me that the kid was probably in charge of the whole paper given the way he was acting, which was a bit ludicrous to say the least.

"But I'm kinda hungry, so if you could just wait until I go get something to eat," the boy said, moving past me to the door.

"No, actually-"

He left anyway.

What the hell exactly was I supposed to do? It appeared as though everyone found me rather interesting the way they were staring at me.

And I knew why too.

"YES I'm THAT guy," I said, giving them what they wanted to hear, which was obviously that I was in fact the guy who'd almost died last year and lost my memory.

Word travels fast even when you have nothing to do with any of it.

"Don't worry, Stephen's actually pretty cool," some guy said to me.

I turned to face him.

"Stephen?" I asked.

So the guys name was Stephen, huh?

"Might as well make yourself at home," the boy spoke. "There's still another twenty-five minutes until lunch is over."

Michelle stared at Vanessa and Adam laughing with each other.

Sure she was glad to see Adam happy again, but she never liked seeing him with Brandon and she sure as hell didn't enjoy seeing him acting how he used to act with her just last year with another girl.

She liked it better when he was gay. At least that way it was Adam with the one with the problem, not her. But now, suddenly, he was back to being straight and the whole thing was bothering here.

She didn't let on that anything was bothering however, and decided to keep on acting as though it wasn't.

"So anyway I was thinking that we could have some kind of senior class activity soon," Krystal said. "What do you think Michelle?"

"I don't know," Michelle droned, still looking over at the table where Adam and Vanessa were sitting so close, too damn close in her opinion, to each other. "What causes a guy to go from straight to gay back to straight?"

"What" Krystal asked.

"I like to think that I sufficiently satisfied Adam when were going out," Michelle started.

"Does all that satisfying include your time spent seducing Ryan in dark dusty janitor closets?" Krystal asked.

"Hey those closets were never dusty," Michelle objected. "But that doesn't answer my question."

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe Adam just wants to be happy for once?" Krystal asked. "I mean after what he's been through between you and Brandon, I'd say he deserves it."

"And your cousin is supposed to give that to him?" Michelle asked.

"Vanessa isn't like you Michelle," Krystal spoke. "She doesn't have any boyfriends on the side."

Michelle rolled her eyes at Krystal and stared back in the direction of Vanessa and Adam, who still looked happy.

"So when are you gonna take me out on a date?" Vanessa asked, sipping a little of her water.

"We went on a date last week remember?" Adam asked. "Yeah when we went to that concert-"

"With my cousin and and her boyfriend, remember?" Vanessa finished. "I mean a real date, just the two of us."

Adam sighed and looked down at his table.

For some reason, hearing Vanessa talk about going out on a date was having him remember back to the summer when he and Brandon were supposed to have been going on a date. Only, because he and Alex got thrown in jail, it never happened.

Brandon just forgot all about it. And Adam didn't want to be pushy and remind him, either. It was hard enough just trying to get on speaking terms with him. So he let the whole thing drop.

And now that Brandon was with...Chris, he knew that there was no way that he was ever going to be able to get him back.

And if he couldn't have Brandon, the only guy he was interested in, then he could have Vanessa, the only girl he was interested in.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I guess you think I've been treating you pretty bad, huh?" Adam said, after a brief silence between the two.

"No it's okay," Vanessa replied. "I mean I've never dated a guy who just broke up with a guy before, but I understand that it's gonna take some time to get over Brandon."

Adam really wanted to get over him. So he was going to make the effort and do so.

"Okay, so then how about tonight?" Adam asked. "We can catch a movie and then go get a bite to eat at some kind of a sit down restaurant."

"Sounds appealing," Vanessa replied.

"Well......what do you think?" Jordan asked me.

"Well.....okay......well here's what I noticed," I started. "The way you write, it makes it sometimes hard to understand which person is saying what."

Jordan nodded in understanding.

"And another thing, I noticed you write the word accept a lot when it really should be except," I continued.

While Stephen had decided to all but ignore me, I had gotten to know a few of the people in the journalism room, most specifically, Jordan, the guy who had been the main person to talk to me.

He had me going over a few of the articles he was planning on submitting to Stephen for this months paper, and he was fortunate to have me go over them first, because they were peppered with all kinds of mistakes.

"Hey maybe you oughtta try for assistant editor," Jordan said. "Stephen always complains about needing help editing stuff but never gets anyone to help him."

"Oh, well I don't think-"

"Editor huh?" Stephen asked suddenly, shocking the hell out of me and Jordan.

Stephen was standing at the door and made his way over to us, arms crossed.

"He's really good at it Stephen," Jordan replied.

"Yes, well, I'm sure he is," Stephen replied, bypassing me in favor of picking up on of Jordan's articles to go over.

"I'm not trying to take over or anything," I started. "I just want a chance."

"Doing what? Editing or-"

"Writing," I replied. "Editing is fine and all, but I made up my mind before I came in here that I wanted to write and I'm not leaving until you give me a chance."

Stephen looked up at me with this serious look. Like he was studying me or something.

It was almost uncomfortable, but I tried not to let it show, for fear of looking weak in his eyes.

"Well, there is something you can do," he started.

"Great," I replied.

This was it. I was finally going to be a writer.

Still thinking about his encounter with Chris earlier that day, Gino had been feeling more than a little off centered all day. And it probably showed. He did after all skip lunch in favor of spending time in the student lounge to think.

But now lunch was over, as the release bell had just sounded, letting him know he had ten minutes to get to his next class.

But at the moment, he really didn't feel like getting up. He didn't feel like doing much of anything at all. And he had Chris to blame for that.

Chris made him feel very uneasy. He was starting to understand the way Brandon must have felt whenever he was around John. And of course he turned out to be right about him.

But Gino didn't get the feeling that Chris was crazy. No the exact opposite was true. He knew Chris was smart, and knew exactly what he was doing in the 'game' the two of them seemed to be playing when it came to a relationship with Brandon.

It was still hard for him to tell whether or not Chris was actually gay or straight. He certainly gave off the impression that he very well could be gay. But there was no definite indication.

Regardless though, Gino was going to take the signs he'd seen for what they were worth and assume that Chris was into Brandon.

At least, that was what he had been thinking of the most. So intently, that he failed to notice bumping into Ryan just as he had ordered his latte from the lounge.

Luckily though, he hadn't spilled it.

"Shit," Gino mumbled, as he snapped back into reality.

He and Ryan exchanged wary glances before Ryan spoke up.

"Sorry," he said. "It was probably my fault."

Gino straightened himself out.

"Yeah," he replied. "It probably was."

There was a moment between the two that was very awkward for reasons they both clearly understood. Just last year, Ryan had been the only one among his circle of friends to deduce that Gino was gay. And then he used that information to basically blackmail him into helping him with his insane plan to win Michelle back.

Now it seemed as though Ryan had changed. But Gino didn't buy it for one second. He knew firsthand how calculating and manipulative Ryan could be. The way he saw it, Ryan just wanted to gain everyone's trust before he tried to ruin all their lives at once.

"Look, I just wanna say that I really have changed," Ryan made a point to say to Gino. "I'm not the same guy I was last year."

"Right," Gino said, bemused. "Which is exactly why you keep repeating it over and over. We get it."

Gino tried to bypass Ryan and leave the lounge but Ryan jumped into his pathway.

The two boys stared at each other in front of the door.

"Uh, you two wanna move, please?" Stephen asked.

Gino and Ryan stepped to the side and allowed Stephen to enter.

"It's just that I was pretty...uh...mean to you last year," Ryan said, looking at his hands.

"Yeah well I don't live in the past Ryan," Gino spoke. "Brandon shouldn't have to either."

Ryan looked up at Gino.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he asked.

"You were mean to everyone last year, remember?" Gino started. "Including Brandon. And now because he doesn't remember any of it he actually wants you as a friend."

Ryan crossed his arms.

"Yeah, so?"

"So? You're using the fact that he doesn't remember to your advantage!"

"I told him about last year."

"Sometimes people have to see things for themselves, not hear about them later on. Brandon doesn't need you, or Chris!"

"Hey, I'm as good a friend as the rest of you are now."

"Excuse me? You and Chris are idiots. Idiots with motives and the fact of the matter is that there's no way that I can keep an eye on the both of you at all times."

Gino was more concerned with Chris though. He was after all the guy who Gino felt might actually be into Brandon.

"Uh, you guys are Brandon's friends?" Stephen asked, joining Gino and Ryan.

Ryan and Gino's little showdown was halted when the two teens noticed Stephen.

"I am," Gino replied. "Why?"

"Nothing, just.....well he just joined the journalism team," Stephen replied.

"Really? Wow, so he really did it," Ryan spoke.

Gino was a bit jealous that Ryan knew about Brandon wanting to join the journalism team and not him.

"Yeah, actually I already gave him his first assignment," Stephen replied.

"What are you like his editor or something?" Ryan asked.

"Actually, yeah, I am," Stephen replied, edge just on the tip of his tongue.

"So...."

"Stephen."

"So Stephen, what kind of assignment exactly did you give my friend?" Gino asked.

"Oh actually I sent him to interview the captain of the track team," Stephen replied. "There's a lot riding on their upcoming meet. That and everyone loves Christian Murphy."

"What?!" Ryan and Gino asked simultaneously.

Stephen looked the two boys over.

"Is there something wrong with that?" he asked.

Neither Gino nor Ryan said anything. The both shared a mutual dislike of Christian Murphy, and they both shared a common friendship with Brandon.

"Uh, do you know where they might be?" Gino asked, trying to sound casual.

Stephen examined Gino for a moment before responding.

"Well it depends," he started. "Why would you be interested?"

Gino continued to try to play calm.

"No reason, they're just two good friends of mine," he spoke.

"Bullshit," Ryan spoke. "You wanna get Chris away from Brandon just as much as I do."

"So you two hate the golden boy jock too, huh?" Stephen spoke.

Gino and Ryan didn't respond but Stephen got his answer from the look on their faces.

"Well Brandon seems like a pretty cool guy," Stephen said. "I wouldn't mind helping the two of you out."

Realizing that this was one time they could put their differences aside to actually help Brandon, Gino and Ryan didn't argue.

"Okay than," Stephen said. "Shall we go look for them?"

I was kinda excited. I'd only been on the staff less than an hour and I already had my first major assignment.

I was supposed to interview Chris for a big article covering him and the upcoming track meet. Apparently, it was the second most anticipated sports event of the year next to the homecoming football game and everyone was particularly interested in Chris because scouts were supposedly coming to see him run.

I was also excited. I had never been to a track game and I considered Chris a good friend, so I wanted him to do his best.

I located Chris at his locker. This was the period he had for practice, but I still had to set up a time to interview him.

The hallways were empty other than the two of us, so Chris heard me coming a few seconds before he even saw me coming.

"Shouldn't you be in class young man?" Chris asked, smiling. "I take tardies very seriously."

"Really?" I asked playfully. "How seriously?"

Chris took his outstretched hands from out of his locker and turned to face me.

"So were you looking for me?" he asked.

"Actually yeah," I replied. "I sorta need to interview you. For the paper......"

For some reason, I found myself a little nervous to ask Chris for an interview. It was ridiculous though, but I still kept up with the small talk.

"Huh," Chris said. "And everyone else is...."

"Yeah, I pretty much haven't seen much of anyone today," I spoke. "Jade, Krystal, and Michelle are on with their usual girl stuff and Adam's busy with Vanessa."

"Right. The straight to gay to straight again football star right?" Chris spoke.

I smiled even though just thinking about how Adam went back to liking girls was a bit unsettling.

"And who knows what Gino's up to these days," I said casually.

Chris tensed a bit at the mention of Gino's name.

"Yeah, he's something else isn't he?" Chris said.

"Well lately he's been kind of annoying," I replied. "It's like he took Adam's place or something."

"Well you know, maybe that means he likes you," Chris replied.

"What?" I asked.

And I was genuinely shocked. No one had suggested to me that Gino was gay. I wasn't really paying attention to that anyway. It was possible, sure, but....

"No, I don't think so," I replied.

"Really?" Chris asked, sounding a bit shocked. "Because I mean it's like I almost have to fight the guy off with a stick when it comes to you."

I wasn't sure what to make of that sentence but I just smiled anyway.

"Yeah well if he IS gay, he can forget it cuz I'm already interested in someone else."

Chris smiled at me and looked up.

And there he was. A good ways away down the hall was Gino. Chris could see Gino but it was obvious that Gino couldn't see them.

That was when he got his idea.

"You know, how about I give you that interview right now," he said.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah, come on," Chris said, taking me by the hand.

Since I had went to Chris at his track locker in the athletic hallway, we were right by all the various changing rooms and showers

Chris led me into the track room which was no less than ten feet away from his athletic locker and shut the door. The first door let you inside the hallway before the changing rooms, where the only thing there was a couple of soda machines.

The second door took you directly inside the changing rooms, which was basically a straight hallway, lockers on the right side, one long wall on the right.

He kept a hold of my hand as he led me at a brisk pace all the way to the end of the hall, where the showers were located.

I thought he was going to sit us down on the benches just a little ways away from the showers, but instead he led us directly into the shower room and turned on the water.

"Uh, Chris, what are you doing?" I asked, a bit nervous.

"Well, I'll show you how my day goes," he started, checking the water temperature.

I had to admit, I was feeling a bit turned on by the situation.

"First, I get the shower water ready," he started as he moved his hands from under the hot water.

I just watched him.

"And then," he started as he took a hold of me, pulling me into the shower with him. "I get nice and clean."

He got seductively close to my face. The steam from the shower mixed with the breath that I could feel on my jeans was causing quite a stir in my pants.

To my surprise however, I felt Chris's right hand reach down and fondle the outside of my now soaked pants, rubbing my crotch.

"Chris what are you-"

"Having a little fun," he replied staring me in the eyes.

That was when it happened. His lips pressed down hard against mine. It wasn't a sweet or soft kiss at all. Rather, it was a kiss filled with the lust I knew we both felt. I could feel Chris's tongue pressing against my lips so I parted my lips to allow him access to the inside of my mouth.

And now it was on.

I reached behind Chris and started rubbing all up and down his back in a frenzy matching his own rubbing of my crotch.

The passionate kisses we were sharing were getting sloppier and sloppier by the second. Chris was now basically sucking my own tongue into his mouth.

He pushed me hard against the shower wall and pinned me there as he continued to suck at my tongue. I could feel him unbuttoning my pants, so I reached to the bottom of his shirt to lift it off of him.

Once Chris got my pants unbuttoned, he lifted his arms and allowed me to lift his shirt over his head.

He wasted no time in starting back on me, but this time he started licking and sucking at my neck. It felt so good I couldn't help but to moan.

I was careful not to be too loud but Chris was making me feel so horny it was hard to control the urge to scream his name in ecstasy.

I continued to rub all over his smooth Italian body while he continued to suck all over my body, now moving lower to suck on my already hard nipples.

The hot water flowing from the shower head felt great as it rolled down my body. I ran my fingers through Chris's long soaked black hair and threw my head up and Chris worked like a madman on my left nipple.

Never in my wildest dreams could I ever imagine something like this happening to me. Sure I wanted Chris badly and had been telling myself that I was going to eventually seduce him, the fact of the matter was that I was realistic enough to know that it probably wasn't going to happen.

Yet here we were. The two of us having mad hot boy-sex in the shower room at school.

My dick felt like it was on fire. It was already as hard as it was going to get and felt like it wanted to burst out of my pants the way it was throbbing. It needed attention. Soon.

"Oh god," I mumbled.

Chris was still sucking on my chest.

I was starting to get impatient. If this was what I thought it was then I was ready for him to suck me off already.

But suddenly, Chris stood up and stared at me with this gleam in his eye that told me that he was horny as fuck. And so was I.

If he wasn't gonna suck me off, then I was gonna jack off while I did him.

I quickly lunged at Chris, turning him around and pinning him against the shower walls.

He ran his fingers through his hair and placed his hand on my back as I started licking his neck.

"Oh shit." Chris said, a bit louder than I thought he should have.

The last thing I wanted was to get caught when I was already this far gone.

I wasted no time in starting to unbutton Chris's pants, grinning at him as I did so.

Chris watched as I did and put his hand on my shoulder, gently pushing me down so that I would bend down to start sucking his meat.

I did so, but slowly for some reason.

When I got down to his crotch, I was surprised.

He was pretty much well shaved with only the slightest bit of hair around his balls. His dick length was a good 7 or so inches long while it looked to be pretty thick.

And at that moment, I hesitated. I wasn't sure why. I mean just a second ago I was all for it. But now.......now I felt like I was cheating.

Which was ridiculous. I didn't have a boyfriend.

But Adam....I was thinking about Adam. And it scared me.

"Brandon..." Chris said looking down at me.

I looked up at him.

"Chris, I...."

"What's wrong? Don't you wanna suck me off?" he asked.

Truthfully....not anymore. But.....

Sensing my hesitation, Chris reached down and put his dick back into his soaked boxers and zipped up his pants. I stood up and did the same.

"I'm sorry," I said, feeling somewhat ashamed.

To my surprise, Chris didn't look upset at all.

"It's okay," he spoke. "I get it."

And then he looked back, I noticed.

Almost like he was expecting someone to-

"Brandon?"

I turned around.

"Gino?" I asked, shocked.

I hadn't even heard him come in.

Chris didn't looked as shocked as I did, I noticed.

He and Gino seemed to be glaring at each other.

"Uh, I have some extra clothes in my changing locker," Chris said, still looking at Gino. "You can change into those."

I wasted no time in bypassing Gino and heading towards his locker. I really didn't feel like explaining this to him. I was embarrassed enough as it was.

"Looks like I got there first," Chris spoke, patting Gino on the shoulder with his wet hand before he too bypassed him to head for his locker.

Gino was really upset now. Chris still saw Brandon as some kind of game. Something that he had to win. Even.....even if he wasn't gay.

"Adam?"

"Hm? Sorry, what?" Adam asked, snapping back into reality.

"What's wrong?" Vanessa asked.

It suddenly occurred to Adam where he was. With Vanessa on the date that the two had planned earlier.

It was a semi-expensive restaurant. Technically it was just your average eat in restaurant. But for a first date, it was seriously much more high class.

Yet, Vanessa noticed something too. Adam wasn't focusing on her. Instead he seemed to be off in his own little word thinking about something she had no clue about.

"Nothing," Adam smiled, looking into Vanessa's clear eyes. "Why?"

Vanessa wanted to remain positive and not overreact. After all, Adam seemed to be a lot nicer of a guy than some of the ones she dated back in Miami.

"Maybe it's just me then," she replied, more to say it than she actually meant it.

Adam smiled and looked down at his plate.

He couldn't stop thinking about......unfortunately, Brandon. He was mad at himself for that too. He'd told himself that he was going to get over him and try to make things work with Vanessa. And things had been going great, they really had.

But.....well Vanessa just wasn't Brandon.

Vanessa noticed that Adam seemed to be lost at thought again.

"Adam maybe we should go," she said.

She could understand if Adam was thinking about Brandon. After all, it probably wasn't going to be easy to get over his ex let alone be it a guy.

So she was trying to give Adam his space. And his time. But she was like any other straight girl on the planet.

She had needs. And there was only so much she could take.

"What? No, no, we should stay and enjoy the rest of our night," Adam replied, trying to reassure Vanessa.

Vanessa smiled meekly before looking down at her plate.

"I'm sorry, okay," Adam spoke, sincerely. "It's just...taking me a little longer than I thought it would."

Vanessa could see that. She was hoping that Brandon wasn't going to turn into a problem for her. The dreaded ex. She almost felt like she was in some kind of struggle with Brandon for Adam's attention. She didn't want to be a third wheel to Adam's emotional baggage. Not at all.

"Okay," Vanessa replied, smiling at Adam. "We should finish."

Adam put on his best smile, but still, he couldn't help who he was thinking about.

And it seemed as though he was always going to be on his mind.

"For you."

I sighed and looked up.

"It's him isn't it?" I asked.

"Just answer the damn boy," my dad spoke, handing me the phone. "This has gotta be the tenth time."

Yeah, why so many times? Couldn't Gino take a damn hint.

I didn't want to talk about what Gino had more or less walked in on earlier today. Nothing really happened. So there was really nothing to talk about.

I sighed and took the phone from my dad, who left my room, shutting the door.

"What do you want Gino?" I asked, making it a point to sound as annoyed as possible.

"Finally?" I called like-"

"Ten times already," I interrupted him "Yeah, I know."

"Well why didn't you pick up?" Gino asked.

I....I.....

"What's this about, Gino?" I asked.

I heard Gino sigh into the phone before he replied.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay, after earlier I mean."

"I'm fine, Gino."

"Really? Because it looked like-"

"Nothing happened, okay?"

There were a few moments of silence between us before Gino spoke up.

"So, you're into Chris huh?" he asked.

Well, I thought I was. Up until today. But not being able to go all the way with him....what the hell was that about?

What if I never had sex with a guy ever again because I would always be stuck on Adam.

Which was weird. I never wanted him before he turned straight.

Maybe that was it. I only wanted him while I couldn't have him. When the odds seemed stacked against me. But....if I couldn't have him, then what was I supposed to do?

"Not sure," I replied. "He's hot, and a great guy...but..."

"But what?"

Silence.

"Adam...right?"

More silence.

"Brandon, Adam's with Vanessa now. You have to get over him," Gino said.

Which I totally knew. It was the getting over him part that was hard to do.

"And Chris.....I don't really think-"

"Oh god, here we go again,"

"Brandon, he's not right for you. Alex is right," Gino argued.

So what. Maybe I liked that edge Chris possessed. Maybe I knew he wasn't right for me and just didn't care.

It didn't matter anyway because it wasn't Gino's decision to make.

"Gino look, stop warning me about Chris okay?" I spoke.

I didn't want to start another fight so I lowered my tone.

"Just be glad I'm not into you," I joked. "Then you'd be really preoccupied."

"Yeah," Gino laughed, meekly.

"Look, it's late and I'm kinda beat. I'll talk to you tomorrow?" I said.

"Yeah. Tomorrow," Gino replied.

I hung up feeling even more confused. No Chris. No Adam. No happiness.

And while I fell asleep with my thoughts, Gino tossed and turned all night.

Not like Brandon was ever gonna be into him.............

A/N

Some of you had been asking about new characters. Yes, Chris was the first. Vanessa was the second and Stephen is the final one. Yep, I wont throw any more new people at you. And don't worry I didn't just add the three for the hell of it. They'll all serve their purpose.

And if you have some time and feel like reading even more Angst, why not check out my Yahoo Group http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JoJoPresents-GayFiction/. There you'll find more episodes of Angst as well as other stories by me not available on Nifty yet.

Thanks

Copyright 2005