Angst

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not write about frank sexual situations, nor do I have any desire to.

This is a story about teen love and discovery. Still though, it is a gay work of fiction.

If such work offends you or you are not old enough to read in your area, then do not continue reading.

Please do not copy and paste onto another website without emailing me first. In most cases I'd be glad to let you post on another site, as long as you ask first!

Angst Episode 27 "The Hot Crush"

Last week completely sucked. I had actually started to believe that those people were my friends. By now I was starting to see what my mistake was.

I had forgiven them all too easily.

It said wonders to me that they had all been so willing not to believe me when I told them John was a psycho. Of course, I didn't remember any of that, but that should have been my first clue as to what kind of people my friends were.

They'd taken the side of a total stranger without at least considering the possibility that I may have been right about him. Right about him being psycho. But even when I provided proof, they still turned their backs to me, citing a behavior change as being responsible.

But I knew better now. I knew it was because that was the kind of people they were. They loved conflict. Couldn't deal with life unless something was happening to them at all times. It was amazing that they all weren't any more screwed up than they already were.

Of course, that month and a half over the summer had all been a facade. Them being unbearably nice and protective to me had been a complete scam.

What they really wanted was for me to go back to what I was. Best friend to Alex. Enemy to Ryan. And boyfriend to Adam.

They wanted what was, living in the past, instead of now. Which is why they kept telling me to stay away from Ryan. Which also was why Alex had told me to stay away from Chris on Friday.

But thinking about it my way made me see things rationally. How much worse was Ryan than Michelle, who they'd all willingly forgiven for her part in last years scandals? If they were willing to forgive her, why not Ryan? At least, I'd asked myself that question. But they were too busy being one sided teenagers to even stop and think about things clearly and consider the situation. It seemed to be a fault they possessed that didn't get better with time.

So, I shut them out. At least, over the weekend. Enough time at least to think to myself about how I wanted to handle them all.

My parents had worried more about me than they usually did, seeing as though the weekend had been the first two days I hadn't seen or talked to my friends since I'd come from out of my coma.

Jaime made no attempts to patronize me over the weekend like she normally did, either. Although, I don't think she would have had the time anyway, as she was busy packing. She'd been accepted to the University of North Texas somehow and would be moving into a dorm early next month.

Alex didn't come to my house in the morning and that was the way I preferred it. He also avoided sitting with me on the bus ride to school, although I could tell that he really wanted to.

And on some level, I really wanted him to sit next to me too.

Adam wasn't on the bus again. I assumed it was because he finally got the car his parents had discussed getting him for his 18th birthday, which would be sometime next week.

Needless to say, I was hoping this week of school to be better than my first.

For some reason, even though it was a week later, it was also a week hotter, as today had to be the hottest day of the summer at a good 99 degrees fahrenheit.

Unbearable weather. Which meant that not too many kids were actually outside the school this Monday morning like they usually were.

The halls were the most crowded I'd ever seen them, which still wasn't as crowded as the airport or Disneyland for that matter.

I'm sure if the school ever needed to, they could fit a small third world country in its corridors.

"So what's going on?"

I closed my locker slightly to see who had just questioned me, although I already knew who it was.

"Jade."

"What's going on with you and the guys?" Jade asked.

Ah yes. The guys. The ones more interested in being these macho freaks rather than letting me live me own life. What about them?

"Nothing's going on, Jade," I replied, turning back to my locker.

"Please," Jade started, crossing her arms. "We go to the movies on Saturday and between the four of you, none of you barely spoke three words to each other."

"I guess we just didn't have much to say then," I replied.

"Then? Try all night because when we went out to eat after the movie, you guys still barely spoke."

I was aware of that. I just had no idea that it had been so obvious. I also had no idea why Jade would ask me out of all of us what was wrong.

"Jade-"

"I think I know what it is," Jade started, interrupting me before I started talking."You still think that they're trying to run your life don't you?"

Okay, so apparently there WAS a reason why Jade and I were friends. It seemed like she knew what I was thinking exactly, which scared me a little but relieved me at the same time, if that was even possible.

"It's just, I wanna be able to choose who I hang out with," I replied.

"And I agree that it's your decision to make, not their's," Jade replied.

"So tell them that," I said.

Jade sighed and leaned back against the lockers.

"Did you ever stop to look at from their point of view?"

Actually no, because what difference did that make? I just knew what I knew. I didn't want to have to do some extra thinking.

"They're your friends. They care about you and when they think there's somebody you shouldn't exactly be so open to get to know, they wouldn't tell you that to hurt you," Jade replied.

And ordinarily I'd have to argue, especially since Adam seemed to have problems with lots of people. But Alex, a guy who I had come to respect since I had awoken from the hospital, had also stepped in and forbade me from seeing Chris. So his word was a lot better than Adam's.

But still.....

"Jade, it doesn't matter what happened before," I replied. "I should be allowed to make my own mistakes."

Jade had been very patient with me up until this point, but from the change I could noticeably see from the look on her face, I knew that she was starting to lose that patience.

"Right. You go ahead and make those 'mistakes' you made the first time," Jade started, hostility evident in her tone. "Just completely forget about the people who actually care about you."

"Jade-"

"No!" Jade cut me off, getting off the locker she was leaning on. "They stayed with you every day for five weeks Brandon! Five! And then after that, they made sure they were with you as much as possible while you recovered."

"And I know all that-"

"Shut-up and let me finish!" Jade exclaimed.

I shut up as commanded but wasn't too happy about it.

"While you're acting like some selfish brat, your friends, people who love you and care about you, have only been trying to look out for you," Jade continued. "But you couldn't see that could you? From the moment you woke up in that hospital you've been horrible to Adam when he's been nothing but patient with you."

Ha! That was a riot.

"And then when Alex, the guy who was your best friend before all this' tells you off for once, the first thing you do is stop talking to him like so immature 4th grader?" Jade spoke, almost like she was starting to wonder about me herself.

"Jade....."

"Yeah, I can totally see why they don't wanna talk to you," Jade replied, leaving my side.

I guess she thought she was doing me some kind of favor by talking to me the way she did and bringing up the things she did, but if she was, I didn't see it.

Sure I might have been acting like a brat, but so what. Let's not forget it was basically all their faults I was in the predicament I was in in the first place.

And as far as Adam went, so what that he called himself trying to be 'patient' with me. He was only doing that so he could get me to start sucking his dick again like I'm sure I probably used to. But none of that was happening any time soon. Not forgiveness and not social acceptance.

And what was with Jade's last statement? She could see why no one was talking to me?

So what, they were trying to pull a repeat performance of last year and socially abandon me like they did? Yeah, and they call me immature. Way to start off the new school year guys! Not.

"That was harsh."

I turned to see who had spoken the words.

I watched as Chris opened his locker and turned to me, smiling.

"Oh, yeah......how much of that did you hear?" I asked.

"Just enough to hear that chick telling you off," Chris replied. "Tell me, have you been as naughty of a boy as she says?"

I knew he was joking but I had to wonder, had I really been in the wrong?

I mean, up until now, I saw no missteps in the actions I had taken before or after my memory was wiped away. So how was this time any different?

My friends weren't talking to me again. Actually it was sort of a mutual 'cold' shoulder but still.......

"You look like you could use one of those so-called comfort hugs," Chris replied.

I thought he was joking but next thing I know, he was actually hugging me.

I took the opportunity to not only hug him back but smell him as well. It couldn't be helped as he smelled like he wore an expensive cologne, just enough to drive any girl (or guy in my case) crazy, but not enough to take away their sense of smell.

The hug didn't last long but as soon as I caught sight of Chris's smiling face, I knew that the hug had indeed yet another joke.

"Don't go turning all gay on me now," he smiled. "It was just a hug."

"Right. Wouldn't me on that dick of yours," I replied. "I'm sure one of these little females in here has that job already."

Chris's smile faded and his head turned my way, his face studying me for what seemed like an eternity but was probably only ten seconds or so before he started inching closer to my face.

"People do get fired, you know," he said, almost seductively.

Chris was so close to my face that if anyone had been paying attention to us, it would have looked as though we were about to kiss, or had just stopped kissing.

Unknown to me, however, someone was looking.

Adam.

Many thoughts swirled through his head when he spied the little display between the boy he loved and the guy from the theme park that Alex had identified as being Chris Murphy, captain of this years track team.

But one thing was for sure. If anything, his relationship with Brandon was as good as over.

Wanting to forget all about what he'd seen in the hallway earlier, Adam decided to push it out his mind and focus on his studies in class, which just so happened to be Creative Writing.

But it was hard to be very creative at the moment.

And he was trying but couldn't stop thinking about Brandon. Was it really over between the two of them?

He must have looked upset because a pretty Hispanic girl next to him had mentioned it when she started a conversation with him.

"I'd say you were having a bad day," she said.

Adam turned slightly to study here better. She had gorgeous eyes, a mixture of grayish blue and green and so clear, the most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen on a girl. Her hair was a mixture of brown blonde and a little red, but not so much that it was overly noticeable, and all the colors were blended nicely. At the moment, her hair was also curled and slicked, a trademark Latina thing to do to your hair, having it look just-washed.

Her face was a soft Hispanic complexion, which was almost white but tanned in a way. Not a trace of acne or any other blemishes could be seen on her face either.

She wasn't as skinny as Jade, Michelle, or even Krystal, but she was by no means overweight at all. She had what guys what call "a little meat on her." But not so much other girls would call her fat behind her back. She was wearing a nice Armani shirt with long tan pants with high heeled black boots. Evidence that she liked to come dressed to kill.

It was funny, but Adam actually found himself somewhat, dare he think it, attracted to her. It was weird because he hadn't even thought of another girl sexually since he started dating Brandon. And even after Brandon had stopped treating him in a 'boyfriend' type way, he still hadn't felt anything for any of the girls he'd seen.

So seeing this girl now was having a weird effect on him.

Another thing though. Who was she? Adam knew a lot of people and definitely wouldn't have missed seeing a girl like her in the hallways. Unless she was new.

He had to know more.

"I'm sorry?" Adam asked, sitting up.

The girl smiled and flipped her hair a little.

"It's just, you look a little down," she replied.

Adam seemed to be at a lost for words. He didn't know what to say, really.

"Hi," the girl said, putting out her hand for Adam to shake. "I'm Vanessa."

"Hi," Adam, replied, taking her hand to shake. "Adam."

Vanessa smiled as Adam held on to her her hand and when he didn't let go after a few seconds, she politely shook it free.

"Oh, sorry....." Adam said, looking down at his desk, blushing.

"It's okay," Vanessa replied.

Adam didn't understand what was going on. He wasn't a shy person at all. So why did he suddenly feel at a loss for words and sensibility around this girl?

"So...are you new?" Adam asked, after a long silence between the two.

"No, actually I'm staying with my cousin for a little while," Vanessa replied.

"Oh," Adam said.

That would explain why he'd never seen her before.

"So....are you having some kind of problem?" Vanessa asked, after another silence.

Adam thought back to what he'd seen in the hallway earlier and what he was feeling then.

Feelings of shock. Jealousy. Betrayal. But of course, he shouldn't have been having those feelings seeing as how he and Brandon weren't a couple anymore.

"I guess you could say that I'm having a bit of a....problem, with somebody I know," Adam replied.

He wanted to say 'having a problem with one of his friends' but at the moment, he wasn't quite sure 'friends' was what he and Brandon were.

"Relationship problems?" Vanessa asked. "Or...."

"Yeah," Adam replied, shortly.

Vanessa looked down at her desk for a moment before looking back up at Adam.

"Well you know, I'm gonna be here for a little while," she replied. "Maybe I could help you out."

"Thanks," Adam replied. "But I really don't think that's possible."

"Lot's of things a possible," Vanessa replied. "I'll just have to show you."

Looking at Vanessa, Adam felt almost as though she could in fact help him somehow. But that wasn't all he felt. It was weird, but he almost felt.......like he did when he first started dating Michelle. Of course, things had changed considerably since then but it still put him a bit on edge to be feeling the way he was.

"Yeah," Adam replied after another silence between them. "Maybe you can."

I decided that if all my friends were gonna act like little bitches, then I wasn't gonna act like one too. Not like last year where they stopped talking to me and I apparently kept trying to prove myself to them until....well, yeah.

No I decided that I was going to make new friends. Starting with the first person everyone objected to me seeing.

"Hey," I greeted Ryan who was alone at his locker.

At first he looked surprised to see me and I noticed him looking around for Adam and the others. But then he relaxed when he was sure they weren't around.

"Isn't this like...against your friends' rules?" Ryan asked. "You talking to me, I mean?"

"Yeah," I replied. "Which is why I decided to make new ones. I can deal without them. I mean, I know them about as well as I know you."

Which was a complete lie. I had come to know and identify with all of them. But that still didn't mean that I was so attached that I had to consider what I was giving up, which didn't bother me in the least.

"Okay, but are you sure that's what you want?" Ryan asked. "I mean since last year...I haven't exactly been as popular as I used to be."

So I'd heard. He wasn't on the football team anymore, which automatically meant the loss of his jock status which always provided popularity. Add that to the fact that he wasn't associating with Adam or any of the others, and you have just a plain average face in the large student body crowd.

"Yeah well we're seniors now," I replied, putting my arm around his shoulders."It's time to put the whole 'popularity' thing in the bucket and move on with our lives."

And I had big plans for my life too. First step was getting new friends. And second step was to get me a new boyfriend, preferably Christian.

No, not preferably. Definitely.

"So do you think you got through to him?" Krystal asked.

Jade shrugged.

"Hard to say," she replied. "I meant every word I said but....."

"What?" Alex asked.

"I don't know. I just kinda seemed like he's already made up his mind about how he wants his life to go now. Like he doesn't want us around."

"Maybe it's like a side effect from being gay AND an amnesiac," Michelle said. "Stranger things are out there."

"Unfortunately you seem to be one of those 'things' don't you Michelle?" Krystal taunted.

Everybody had to admit that despite their equally harsh words between themselves and Brandon, they were still as worried about him as they ever were. Jade had never seen Brandon being so callous and cold to her before and quite frankly, it scared her a little.

"What about Alex?" Krystal asked.

"What about me?" Alex asked.

"Well didn't you guys say that Brandon has a crush on you?"

Alex crossed his arms and frowned.

"Well yeah but....he's....moved on," he replied.

"Moved on?" Krystal asked.

Alex knew that Brandon had suddenly become completely fascinated with Christian Murphy, the little bastard that he'd hated a long time ago and absolutely hated now. And he knew his best friend. If he was interested in Christian, it meant that he was attracted to him.

"Hey guys," Adam spoke.

He was with Vanessa and the two of them had been talking ever since last period and now were meeting up with their friends.

"Hey Vanessa," Krystal replied.

"Wait...you two know each other?" Adam asked.

"Uh, yeah," Krystal replied. "She's my cousin."

Vanessa turned to Adam and smiled.

It was lunch time and I had already decided that I wouldn't be sitting at my normal table with my so called friends. Today I was with Ryan, and had been for the past 15 minutes.

"So let me get this straight," Ryan started, as he pushed his now empty lunch tray away from him. "You don't wanna be friends with them any more?"

"It's not that hard to understand really," I replied. "I mean, who are they to try and tell me who not to be friends with?"

"But I don't get it," Ryan replied. "Didn't they basically nurse you back to health after-"

"Yes.......I don't wanna talk about that, okay?" I cut Ryan off.

If I thought about that, I might actually see him as being right, and I did not want to be wrong. Not today.

"And so.....you're....you wanna be friends with me?" Ryan asked.

I looked at him for a moment. Seriously looked at him. He seemed to actually want companionship. Like he wanted me to be his friend and if I said no, he'd actually be crushed somehow.

"Sure," I replied.

I felt weird all of a sudden. I didn't want a clingy person getting his hopes up just in case I got bored with him.

"So...I guess you dumped Spill Boy and co for Nikels?"

It was Chris. He was by himself and had seemingly come out of nowhere in the crowded cafeteria, ending up at our table.

"Chris....."

Chris looked from me to Ryan before taking a seat across from us.

"Christian Murphy," Ryan replied, none too happy to see him. "I remember you."

"Really?" Chris asked slyly.

"Yeah," Ryan replied. "No wonder they don't want Brandon hanging with you."

"Like the way they don't want him hanging around you?" Chris shot back.

Great. I thought I left that. There was no confirmation of such a thing, but Gino and Adam used to fight over me. Still did. Of course, it was like this little game they played where they each wanted me but didn't want to seem so obvious about it. But I wasn't stupid. I knew what they were doing. Even with a ll the bickering.

And now Chris and Ryan were fighting. Over me.

"Okay, let's not do this," I interrupted their banter over me.

Chris and Ryan glared at each other.

"So why did you trek all the way from your little table of popular drones over here anyway?" Ryan asked.

"Oh...you mean the table you used to control-"

Ryan made a move to get up but I grabbed his arm, forcing him back down.

"Relax Nikels," Chris replied, with a sly grin on his face. "I didn't come over here to see you."

"Me?" I asked, when Chris glanced at me.

I had to admit, Chris was a very interesting person. The way he'd look at me, with this slightly seductive grin that told me that he knew that I wanted him made me feel weird inside.

"I actually came to talk to you about those friends of yours," he started.

"My friends?" I asked.

"Yeah," Christian replied.

I thought he didn't like Alex or Adam and now he actually WANTED to talk to me about them?

"What about them?" I asked, cautiously.

"You're treating them like shit."

What the...

"Excuse me?" I asked, dumbfounded.

Even Ryan looked just as surprised as I was. Chris's behavior was straight out of left field today.

"When we were in California, you told me all about how they'd been nursing you back to health by staying at your house nonstop to help you remember things," Chris started.

"Yeah, so-"

"Let me finish." Chris said, cutting me off.

I sat up a little and shut my mouth.

"The way you described them made it seem like they really care for you. And it seemed like you at least were starting to remember that you cared for them," Chris replied.

And he was right. But that was before I saw how petty they really could be.

"So for you to be acting like some....asshole to them just because they are concerned with who you hang out with.....it's just stupid."

Well, if he was gonna put it that way.....

"Chris, you do understand that you're one of the people they don't want me hanging around with, right?" I asked.

Chris's gaze on me diverted temporarily over to the table where I used to sit. With THEM there.

"Yeah.....well, I guess you just gotta prove to them that people change," he replied. "And that they aren't always as bad as they seem."

Ryan looked somewhat apathetic. Like he was agreeing with Chris.

I looked over in my friends' directions. They seemed to be having a good time talking amongst themselves. And I realized something from looking over there.

I missed them.

"So you two are really cousins?" Adam asked, still a bit shocked that Vanessa was Krystal's cousin.

"Adam, how many times are you gonna ask me that?" Vanessa replied, sounding slightly annoyed.

"Sorry..." Adam wavered. "So...why are you staying here?"

Vanessa and Krystal exchanged knowing looks while Vanessa's soft facial features seems to darken making her look upset about something.

The table grew quiet as Adam along with everyone realized that something major had to be going on in Vanessa's life that she wasn't quite ready to share with them yet.

"You know, Adam's turning eighteen next week," Krystal said in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"Really?" Vanessa asked, her natural softness returning.

"Yes and I have taken it upon myself to throw the biggest shindig of the year for his big day," Michelle replied.

"Michelle-"

"Don't worry Adam," Michelle interrupted. "Everything'll go off without a hitch."

Adam didn't really feel up to having any parties. He really didn't even care that his birthday was next week. What he cared about....who he cared about, no longer cared about him, so what did it matter that he was turning 18? All that said to him was that he was just around another day without Brandon.

"You don't look too happy," Vanessa said, noticing Adam's moody look.

"Huh? Oh....yeah....nothing. I'm fine. Really," Adam replied.

Vanessa wasn't so sure. She'd only known Adam for a couple of hours, but she was pretty good at reading people's feelings and she could tell that Adam was having a major problem of some sort. And she wanted to help him fix it.

"Journalism." I blurted out.

The day was now almost over. I still had eighth period left and Ryan and I were at his locker. He was getting things out while I was leaning against the locker next to his.

"What?" he asked.

"I don't know.....just reading the sign," I replied.

It said something about 'Sign up for the Angston High Journalism Club today!'

I knew what journalism was. Like writing for the paper and stuff. Sounded interesting. Writing I mean. And everyone else was a part of something. Sure Ryan wasn't a part of anything right now but he had been a football player for seven years. According to all my friends, I hadn't done jack shit with my school life and that bothered me. Jade said she never pressured me to sign up for anything because she was more concerned with making sure that I got good grades, which according to her, I always got. Not straight A's like her, but nothing below a B- either.

Alex on the other hand had always wanted me to sign up for this and that with him. He'd been in baseball, soccer, and even track at some point. Football was his latest undertaking, which he told me that he'd enjoyed the most. Michelle was always a cheerleader. Still was to the best of my knowledge. Krystal was on the debate team and school vice president. Adam had football as well. And Gino.......well I'm not really sure what the hell Gino ever did. He might have told he me he was in something, but the guy talked SO MUCH that it's kinda hard to retain most of what he says.

Anyway, I decided that I was gonna give this journalism thing a shot. I mean, it couldn't hurt.

"So are you gonna try to make up with Adam and Alex?" Ryan asked.

At the request of Chris, I was supposed to be trying to get back on good terms with my friends, something that had me feeling really nervous. Chris...even Ryan and Jade had wasted no time in informing me of how much of an asshole I'd been to everyone. More so to Adam. And now I felt ashamed. Not because of what I'd done. But because of how I seemed to show no qualms in doing it. Like it felt good to be some kind of cruel heartless bastard.

And that scared me. I didn't have to be told that I was never like this before. I could feel it. And I wanted to at least be some of what I was before, no matter how much I argued that I didn't.

And so I was going to do this...thing, where I apologized for my behavior.

"But I'm not gonna stop being friends with you just because they want me to," I replied.

I might have been about to apologize for my behavior but I certainly was not going to oblige to their 'demands' that I stay away from Ryan and Chris.

That wasn't gonna happen. Period.

"And that's okay," Ryan replied. "You do have the right to be friends with whoever you want."

See. Now why cant they understand that notion?

Ryan closed his locker and the two of us made our way to our last class of the day.

I was ready. To.....apologize, and knew I had to do it as soon as I saw them.

Adam and Alex glanced in my direction while Gino and Michelle exchanged glum looks as I made my way over to them.

"I have something to say to you and and I want you to listen," I started.

None of them made an effort to leave or ignore me so I figured they wanted to hear what I had to say.

"The way I've been acting......well, I've been really rude to all of you," I started.

And they knew it too, judging by the agreeing looks on all their faces.

"And there's no excuse for my behavior towards all of you," I replied. "All I can do now is just apologize. So I'm sorry."

It was hard to tell whether or not any of them were willing to forgive me. Their faces at this point were pretty much unreadable.

"But I'm not gonna apologize for choosing to be friends with people you don't like," I replied. "It's none of you guys's decision to make about who I wanna be friends with."

No one said anything.

"And if Ryan's changed, I think you should at least give him a chance," I added, for good measure.

"Well," Alex started, being the first one to speak. "I was never really....I mean, I wasn't trying to force you to choose sides."

"Yeah, me either," Gino replied. "I just wanted to look out for you."

"I understand," I replied.

And I did. I could completely understand their want to protect me after what happened to me.

I noticed Alex and Gino's attention shift over in the direction of Ryan.

"You can be friends with whoever you want," Alex replied. "But it doesn't mean we all have to."

I kind of figured they'd say something like that. And they had every right to. If I had a right to hang out with Ryan, then they had a right not to like him.

"Okay, so now that the ultra gay Dawson's Creek moment is over, why don't we all talk about this birthday party," Michelle spoke, taking a seat.

Everyone else took seats nearby.

"Birthday party?" I asked.

"Yeah, your ex here is turning eighteen next week and I have taken it upon myself to plan the biggest of the biggest birthday parties," Michelle replied.

Adam and I exchanged knowing glances.

I take it I would have known this, DID know this little fact, before I lost my memory. But hearing it made me realize just how much I still had to learn about all of my friends.

"Why cant we just have like a little small get together or something?" Adam asked. "Is a big party really....necessary?"

"Adam, when we were dating, did we ever have any 'small' get togethers?" Michelle asked.

Everyone knew the answer to that one.

"No, this is gonna be the first big party of the year," Michelle replied.

I looked over at Adam who smiled slightly at me.

At least he realized there was no arguing with Michelle when it came to planning parties.

The rest of the week as well as the days leading up to Adam's birthday went a lot more smoothly than the week before.

Everyone was happy again, talking with each other. Doing things together.

Alex, Adam, and Gino still all refused to befriend Chris and Ryan, but they at least didn't bring up their displeasure of me being friendly to them.

Still though, it was Friday, which meant that Adam's big birthday bash was tomorrow.

I had to admit, for some strange reason, I was actually looking forward to his party.

"Ugh!"

"Michelle just calm down," Jade started.

"Calm down? Calm down? God, I swear this SO has not been the best week for me," Michelle ranted.

She was zooming down the halls, Jade and Krystal not far behind her, and it was obvious to anyone and everyone around that she was upset.

"I mean, first there was that thing with that idiot do gooder cop who thought I ran those red lights," Michelle continued as she stopped at her locker, beginning the combination.

"Michelle, we were in the car with you, remember?" Krystal asked. "You DID run those lights."

"Yeah tell that to the million and one other people in the world who do it everyday!" Michelle huffed.

Jade and Krystal exchanged glances.

"And then of course there was that little misunderstanding with the ranch," Michelle replied.

"Michelle, you wanted them to remodel it into a place to hold the party specifically for Adam," Jade countered. "In three days."

"Heaven and earth Jade, heaven and earth," Michelle replied.

Krystal rolled her eyes at Michelle.

"And now they tell me we might have to move the party to tomorrow because the 'special' kids are coming to play with Ronald McDonald. I swear, it's one thing after another," Michelle huffed.

"Michelle you know you're being a bitch right?" Krystal asked.

"More so than usual," Jade added.

"It's just, Adam's turning eighteen," Michelle replied. "He's a man now and....I don't know, I guess I just want everything to be perfect."

"If only you tried this hard when you were actually with him," Jade said, a bit spitefully.

Michelle sighed and looked down.

"Wait a second.....I thought you were over him," Krystal said. "You don't still wanna get back with him, do you?"

Michelle looked up at Jade.

"He was the only guy I ever loved," she replied, sincerely. "I thought I knew him. And he thought he knew me.......we just.....made mistakes."

"But he's in love with Brandon, Michelle," Krystal replied.

"Who's breaking his heart everytime he sees him," she replied. "That's why this all has to be perfect. For him....so he can just be happy for once."

Sure Michelle wanted Adam back. But she had long since realized where Adam's heart belonged. She hated the fact that Brandon continued to treat Adam like shit.

So the party had to be perfect. She still cared about Adam and was willing to do whatever it was going to take to give him just a bit of happiness that he deserved.

"For someone who turns eighteen in a few hours, you sure don't seem too happy," Vanessa said, approaching Adam in the class that they shared together.

It was basically a blow-off class for them, and just about everyone was having their own little conversations.

Except Adam. He was too busy thinking about how he'd spent his 17th year of being alive. He'd gone from being straight and dating the captain of the cheerleading team, to....well in love with a guy.

All that and so much more had happened to him. A lot more than most teens go through in their own lives.

But Adam didn't really care about anything else that had happened to him. He only cared about Brandon. And at the moment, he was realizing that Brandon had moved on.

"Well, I'm not," Adam replied.

There was no point in making up some story to mask how he was feeling if it was so obvious that he was feeling lousy.

No point at all.

"Is this about Brandon?" Vanessa asked.

Adam looked up quickly.

"How did you-"

"Krystal filled me in, sort of," Vanessa replied.

"Oh," Adam replied, lowering his head again.

Vanessa thought for a moment before replying.

"So.....you really love him don't you?" she asked.

Adam nodded.

What could he say besides that?

"But.....he doesn't love you back?" she asked.

"He went through so much last year," Adam replied. "I mean, I understand that I deserve what I'm getting but it still doesn't mean that I don't want it to be happening. Him....not remembering us being together. Really together."

"So.....if he's moved on, don't you think you should too?"

Adam looked up at Vanessa.

"I don't really think.....I mean....."

"What? I mean, it only makes sense......unless...."

"Unless what?"

"Well unless you're not really gay."

"What?" Adam asked, somewhat offended.

"Look, you spent most of your life screwing around with girls right?"

Adam looked down slightly. That was true, yes. But-

"Did you ever think about other guys before Brandon?" Vanessa asked.

Adam thought for a moment. Come to think of it, he hadn't really thought about another guy sexually. Hadn't even looked twice at another guy. Not before. And not now.

"No," he replied.

"So maybe.....maybe you were just in love," Vanessa replied. "With someone who just so happened to be a guy. Take the guy out of the picture and......"

Adam realized where Vanessa was going with the conversation. And she was actually making sense. Mainly because her words had been something he'd thought about before. Especially after meeting her. He had felt something for her. Like attraction, despite still being in love with Brandon. But he was realizing now that there wasn't going to be a future for him and the boy he loved. And without Brandon, it meant that he was free to move on.

Which meant, that he was back to being....straight...if that meant anything.

"You're right," Adam spoke, suddenly feeling a lot better. "I should move on. If I can't have the one guy that I love, then I can move on. To girls again."

Vanessa smiled at Adam smiling.

"Got anyone in mind?" she asked.

"That depends," Adam replied, moving dangerously close to Vanessa's face. "Know any hot visiting cousins?"

Vanessa smiled.

I had to admit that Michelle had really come through once I got a good look at the place she'd managed to secure for Adam's party.

It was called Parkerfield Ranch. Some parts of it was actually a ranch.

But where we were......now that was a different story.

The place looked like it could hold a seriously high amount of people, which was clearly made evident by the amount of people that were at the party already.

There were several large fountains placed at the various corners of the hexagonal shaped room. The ceilings were a good 80 feet or so tall, all of which were sunpaneled. Hanging from those panels were various banners, streamers, and cages filled with different types of birds.

Then there was the humongous fish tank at the far end of the room, which actually had two sharks swimming in them along with other fish and coral. And the walls were built like they were made out of common stone outside, shaped to look like crevices of a waterfall, where running water was actually escaping them and falling into the fountains.

There were two levels, both of which had their own D.J. and serving area for the guest, as well as dance floor and tables with chairs.

Just looking at the place told me that Michelle spent a good pretty penny on this party, which was already at its peak by the time I arrived 'fashionably late' like they did in those movies I'd seen.

I came with Ryan and Chris, and once I ran into Alex and Gino, I realized that maybe it was mistake.

"What the hell did you bring them for?" Alex asked, crossing his arms.

I could tell he was trying to stay calm and contained for my sake but was really struggling to do so as well.

"You said I could invite people," I replied. "And they're my friends."

Alex and Ryan exchanged glances before Ryan broke their gaze to speak to me.

"I'm just gonna go mingle, kay," he spoke, moving past me into the party.

Alex led me to an area where I could put the gift I'd brought for Adam into a room where they'd all be safe until he opened them later.

Jade had helped me pick it out as I wasn't exactly sure what to get him. I wasn't sure if I was the sentimental type or not but I went ahead and got him 5 of the cd's he'd been wanting, a couple of sports games for his PS2, and a football jersey Jade said he'd had his eye on. And that was just what I got him! Who knows what everyone else got him.

Looking into the room, there had to be at least 100 or more gifts all wrapped and waiting for Adam to tear into. Probably because Michelle's rules stated that you bring a gift, or you get the hell out.

I guess he was even more well liked than I originally thought.

"Hey, come on, let's go mingle shall we?" Alex asked, locking his arm with mine as he led me out into the party.

Gino, meanwhile, was at one of the serving area's fixing himself something to drink when Chris approached him carefully.

"You're Kino right?" he asked.

Gino frowned.

"It's Gino, actually."

"Oh," Chris replied. "Close enough."

Gino didn't really have that much of a problem with Chris. Sure, Chris happened to be one of the guys that Brandon had been spending more time with lately. But that didn't really mean anything. After all, Chris was straight.

Or was he?

"You know Brandon's told me a lot about you," Chris started, taking a sip of his Sprite.

"Really?" Gino asked skeptically, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, well he had a lot to say," Chris replied. "I just listened."

Gino couldn't quite see what it was that Brandon saw in Chris exactly. So far, Gino felt however he did when he was around Adam.

Which meant, he couldn't stand the guy already.

"You know, Brandon and I are pretty close," Gino replied.

He wasn't sure what he was doing exactly. Maybe he was marking his territory, who knows. But he felt as though he had to be on the defense against Chris.

"Really?" Chris asked, sounding surprised. "Gosh, he didn't mention anything like that."

Now Gino was really on the defense.

"What are you talking about?"

Chris smirked at Gino's sudden tensing up.

"I said he told me a lot about you," he replied. "I never said they were good things."

"No....Brandon-"

"Is one hot little fuck wouldn't you agree?" Chris asked. "Of course, this is YOU I'm talking to here so I guess that means you already do."

Gino was upset now. What was Chris playing at here? Was he interested in Brandon too?

"I don't have to like you," Gino said. "Just because you're friends with him."

"Friends.......why stop there?" Chris said.

And then he moved over to Gino's ear to whisper into it.

"When I can get what you don't have," he added, before chuckling to himself and walking off.

Gino couldn't quite tell if Chris was gay or not. His guess was that the guy was just being an asshole.

But that didn't matter to him. It just meant that he was going to have to be more careful in how he wanted his relationship with Brandon to go. Before Chris up and ruined everything.

The party seemed to be going well. I still hadn't seen Adam to wish him happy birthday yet. Mainly because Alex kept introducing me to all sorts of people who I got the distinct feeling I never knew even before I lost my memory.

It just seemed like it was Alex's way of saying that he didn't approve of two of my friends and he wanted me to find new ones.

He finally left me be, however, when Jade, bless her heart, convinced him to help her get Adam's cake ready from the kitchen.

Seeing as though Gino was off somewhere and Ryan and Chris were busy somewhere else, I took my time alone to go find Adam for myself.

That was about when I saw them. Together.

Adam laughing and giddy with Krystal's cousin, Vanessa.

He seemed to be enjoying something she was saying a good deal. If I didn't know any better. I could swear that the two were some kind of couple.

Which was fine with me. After all, I'd moved on. So it was only fitting that Adam move on......with another girl.....

"Okay, cake time" Jade exclaimed, wheeling a three foot high cake out of the kitchen with Alex.

Everyone gathered around the cake as the two brought it to the center and Adam moved to it with Vanessa.

"Shit this thing is huge!" Adam exclaimed, examining the cake.

"And it better be good too as much as I paid for it," Michelle added.

I noticed Adam look up at me briefly and smiled faintly, before someone handed him a knife to be the first to cut the cake.

"Let's hope you're alive for eighteen more years," Alex said, as Adam started to cut it.

Once he did everyone started clapping and Vanessa quickly reached over to hug Adam.

Seemed like an awfully long hug to me.

But I was cool with it. After all, if I could move on....

Copyright 2005