Angst

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not write about frank sexual situations, nor do I have any desire to.

This is a story about teen love and discovery. Still though, it is a gay work of fiction.

If such work offends you or you are not old enough to read in your area, then do not continue reading.

Please do not copy and paste onto another website without emailing me first. In most cases I'd be glad to

This chapter is dedicated to John my man Beebs who is the author of the hooking story 'Pair of Queens' here on Nifty. Without you

sticking by me like you have this summer, I don't think I would have made it through all the shit I had to go through. You're my rock and for that I'll always want you around!

Angst Episode 10 "The Go About"

It was hard trying to sleep last night. Knowing that Adam was all alone somewhere trying to piece together his life was next to unbearable.

I decided that I couldn't keep this to myself and do nothing. I had to tell everybody else and try to fight it.

"Hey," Jade greeted me.

I yawned hi back, I think, I was kinda half asleep at my locker.

"Stay up late did we? Let me guess you and Adam were up late discussing the finer points of porn and spray cheese," Jade smiled.

If only she knew I wished that's what would have went down last night.

"Jade, I think there's something I need to tell you," I started.

Jade's smile faded. She now had a serious expression on her face.

"What? Don't tell me you and Adam-"

"Jade, no. But you're right, it is about Adam," I replied.

"Then what?" Jade asked.

"Well-"

"Hey B, Jade. Was up?" Alex greeted us.

"Hey Alex," Jade replied.

"Say man, what was up with you hanging up on me last night? Thought we were supposed to be getting Gino to talk," Alex said.

"Something came up," I replied, off-handedly.

"And it was the perfect plan too. I mean all we had to do was call Gino and you two talked while I stayed on the other end," Alex continued.

"Wait a second, you guys were gonna have Gino tell you stuff without him knowing you were there?" Jade replied shoving Alex.

"Hey, you should see the way Gino's been acting. It's not our fault," Alex replied.

Jade and Alex began to go back and forward on the morals of phone conversation.

Apparently Alex hadn't stayed on the line after I told Gino I'd call him back. Otherwise he'd have known something came up with Adam.

"Brandon, we need to talk," Gino said surprising me out of nowhere.

"Jade, tell me you saw Top Model last night. I missed it," Krystal said, surprising Jade.

"Hey, Alex man, where's Adam?" Ryan asked walking up with Michelle.

"Adam! That's just who I wanted to talk to you about," Gino said.

Once everybody heard the name "Adam," it seemed their own conversations didn't matter even half as much.

"Gino, I told you," I started, through my teeth.

"Look I'm not normally a jealous person, but this has gotta stop. I mean you and Adam see each other more than all of the rest of us combined. It's just really annoying," Gino spoke.

Michelle agreed. Finally, somebody else was beginning to get as fed up with Brandon as she had been all along.

"Look Gino, I really don't think you want to get into this right now," I said.

"Really? Cause the way I see it, Adam ain't around. Which means it's the perfect time. At least this way I know I have your attention," Gino replied.

"Gino, I'm not exactly sure what's bugging you,"

"Of course you aren't. With Adam, you don't know your right from your left foot," Gino taunted.

Ugh. This had to stop. The same bullshit I'd had to hear for two weeks. It was all just so ridiculous at this point.

"Gino, you wanna know where Adam is? Right now?" I asked, anger in my voice.

Gino didn't too much care all that much. To him, Brandon was just once again proving his point. But everyone else seemed thoroughly interested.

"It must have something to do with whatever the hell that important news he had to tell you was right?" Gino asked sardonically.

"Yeah, it does," I replied.

"Well. Where is he then? Permanent leave?" Gino asked.

"Yeah, he is" I replied.

"What?" Michelle asked.

I turned to face everyone else.

"Adam's moving to Florida on Friday," I told them.

Everyone grew quieter than they already were.

"He told me yesterday," I added.

Michelle got so close to me she was practically in my face.

"Listen to me, I know you and Adam are close. Always telling jokes and shit-"

"I'm not joking. Believe me, I wouldn't lie when it comes to something like this.

"I don't believe you. I'm his girlfriend. Adam would have told me first," Michelle said.

"Or me, I'm his best friend," Ryan added.

"Look, I had no idea you all didn't know. I don't know why he only told me. I just know that he did, and he's gone," I replied.

"Gone? What do you mean gone? You said he was leaving on Friday," Michelle said, in a distant yet still angry voice.

"That's the thing. Adam doesn't want to go to Florida. He ran off when I tried to tell him that I could help and I don't know where he went," I replied.

"Oh my god," Michelle whispered.

"You don't think he'd try to kill himself do you?' Krystal asked.

"Adam's not a punk. I know my best friend," Ryan said.

"So if you know your best friend, does that mean you have any idea where he might be?" I asked.

Ryan didn't answer.

The bell rang, and the kids all around us we noticed were gone. Nobody moved.

Ryan looked over at Michelle.

"Hey," he said putting his hand on her shoulder.

"I have to go to class," Michelle said, near tears.

All of us watched her walk off.

Ryan went after her.

Krystal, Jade, Gino, and Alex stared at me.

"I'm gonna go look for him," I said determinedly, turning around.

"You don't even know where to start. Besides we'd be crucifixed if we skipped again," Alex said.

Adam and I had skipped a lot. More than Alex and I had. But the risk was worth it.

"I don't care. I have to go," I said taking off down the hallway.

Alex shrugged at Jade and followed me.

Jade and Krystal gave each other a look.

"Should we go?" Krystal asked.

"I can't. I'm taking my S.A.T preliminary test next period," Jade said, sympathy in her voice.

"But we can go after school right?" Krystal asked.

"Of course. Come on," Jade said, as she and Krystal walked off.

Gino stood in the empty hallway thinking. His wish would have been for Adam just not to exists. But he realized something just now. All this grief he'd been giving Brandon over Adam wasn't gonna help get him what he wanted in any way. What he wanted was for Brandon to be happy, and he wasn't gonna be happy if he kept interfering in his plans with Adam.

He had to give it up. Brandon and Adam were the ones who were better together. And if he wanted to see Brandon happy, he had to make that happen.

I was glad Alex had driven today. It was too cold to walk all the way to a bus station or home for that matter. And too cold for Adam to be outside. We had to find him.........soon....now.

"I shouldn't have let him leave like he did," I said.

"If he wanted to leave, he was gonna anyway, you know that B," Alex replied taking his eyes off the road briefly.

"I just thought he was going to go think about things until he was level headed........you don't think Krystal was right do you? I mean you don't think Adam would ever try to-"

"I wish I could tell you no, never. But we have to look at this from Adam's perspective," Alex started.

"First off, he's a teenager. Teens are already moody enough as it is without news like that. He's captain of the football team and has been since we were in the seventh grade. He's got a great...okay, semi great girlfriend that he's had two years. Great friends," Alex looked over at me.

"And then there's you."

Me? What about me?

"All your life, you've been invisible to Adam. And all Adam's life, he's been just this typical jock. Mean to everyone who used to be you," Alex started.

Where was he going with this?

"The way you guy's really met may not have been ideal, but it's created this bond between you two. You seem like you've been friends since you were born, almost like you're better friends then you and I are," Alex chuckled.

Actually, we sorta were.

"What I'm trying to say is, before you, Adam's life was screwed up. It may not have looked like it, but it was.

Ever since you've been friends Adam's been...happier. Life's not as bad for him I guess. You gave him a little solace from his pops," Alex replied.

"From his dad? What?"

"Adam and his dad had a....falling out you might say. Always used to joke about it to Ryan and me. But I could tell that it was making him unhappy somehow. In his eyes. I don't see that anymore. It's because of you. YOU are the real reason Adam doesn't want to move to Florida. Not Michelle, not his status in school, but you, his real best friend," Alex finished.

Me? I was somehow responsible for bringing happiness to Adam? No wonder he got so upset with me. Adam's life really was changing big time. And not in a good way at all.

"I had no idea," I said softly.

"Now you see what me, Gino, Ryan, even Michelle have been seeing all along. We all know there was a change in Adam, a good one. And the way you two acted around each other......it's not that we thought that you were gay," Alex started.

That's a stretch.

"We were all just worried other people were gonna see what we saw and take it the wrong way," Alex said.

I was understanding Adam more in the past five minutes than I had in the last 3 months. Adam wasn't just another crush for me, I knew that now.

He was the one I was going to have save the way he saved me. Otherwise, he'd be gone to me forever.

She couldn't think. Michelle was too worried about Adam. It was just such a shock to hear that he was moving. But as much as that was a shock to her, it was an even bigger one to hear that her boyfriend of two whole years had decided to tell his friend of three whole months first. The way she saw it, they weren't all that close.....were they?

"Hey," Ryan said.

Michelle looked up, puffy eyed from crying.

Ryan took a seat next to Michelle.

"Wanna talk?" he asked.

Michelle sat all the way up.

"Ryan, this is study hall. Everyone's quiet which means everyone will hear," Michelle replied.

"Come on," Ryan said standing up.

Their teacher, Mrs. Heartly, was so old, she was damn near blind, as well as deaf. Not to mention she was asleep at the current moment.

Michelle got up and left with Ryan.

Jade stood at a pencil sharpener continuously sharpening the same pencil. She'd been doing this without realizing it for about two minutes. Finally Krystal came up to her.

"Jade, come on, there's nothing left to sharpen," she said, snapping Jade back to reality.

Jade looked down. Krystal was right. There was nothing left to sharpen.

"I just, I don't understand why Adam told Brandon first. Not that I wanted him to tell me first or anything. I just expected him to tell Michelle first," Jade said walking back to her seat.

"For an all AP class student, you sure don't catch on easily," Krystal chuckled.

"What?" Jade asked.

"Don't you see what's going on here? Adam and Brandon are so close, they're like brothers. It just figures he'd confide in him first. It'll be harder to tell a girl, we get too emotional," Krystal replied.

Jade was relieved that's all Krystal meant. For a moment there, she almost thought she might have figured Adam was starting to like Brandon as much as Brandon already loved him.

"Yeah but we both know how Michelle gets when it comes to Adam. She was willing to make us all believe that Brandon was gay rather than try to accept him," Jade said, somewhat disgusted.

"Yeah, but she's gotten used to him right?" Krystal asked, uncertain.

Jade was unsure herself. Michelle was a pretty vindictive person when she wanted to be. There was no telling what she might do with Brandon once Adam was gone. But still she had to wonder where her loyalties layed.

"Don't you think it's a little strange that Michelle is so hell bent on trying to prove Brandon is gay? I mean, she knows that Adam and Brandon are like this, so you'd think she'd wanna make Adam happy and keep her mouth shut," Jade spoke, more to herself than Krystal.

"Actually yeah I have wondered that. And she'd be freaking Ryan out with all that talk to. Adam is his best friend, he'd probably start a rumble or something if it were true," Krystal replied.

Jade thought to herself. Where did Ryan come into play in all this? Brandon was Adam's best friend, Alex was Brandon's, Krystal was hers and they were both Michelle's. Suspecting your boyfriends newest best friend of being gay had to be hard on her. There was that added to the fact that the new friend also just so happened to be zapping all of Adam's free time. When did she get to see Adam? Where were all her sexual frustrations going?

This was all too much for Jade to be trying to think about at the moment.

She needed to get a drink of water or something.

"Mr. Guereri, I'm going to get something to drink. I'll be right back," Jade said, getting up to leave.

Really, she knew she didn't have to ask. She'd made nothing less than a 90 on anything she'd done in his class or any other one for that matter not to mention her perfect behavior. Any teacher in the world would have to be crazy not to trust her.

Jade walked down an empty hallway thinking.

What was happening to her and her friends lives lately?

She bent down and started to get a sip of water from a drinking fountain, but stopped when she noticed something slightly disturbing.

Both Ryan and Michelle were talking, Ryan looking as though he was chattering expletives to Michelle. Then the both of them entered the guys restroom nearby. Finally she heard a distinct click, indicating that the pair had locked the door.

Ryan and Michelle? Locking doors at school? They weren't.........they couldn't be............not when Adam was gone. Or had it been going on all along?

The search for Adam wasn't going too well. Mostly because we didn't know where to look. I didn't figure Adam for the type of guy who could disappear easily if he wanted. Now if Gino ever ran off, I knew several places to look. Which was another reason why they were so different.

"You think I've been doing Gino wrong?" I asked.

"What are you talking about?" Alex asked.

"I think he's mad at me because every time he wants to talk, so does Adam. I guess he just feels like the odd man out with all of us," I sighed.

"That's just it. He is. And he knows it. He just decided to take it out on you instead of put up with it anymore," Alex replied.

I looked out the window.

"Wait a second. We've been here before," I spoke.

"No we haven't," Alex rebutted.

"Yes we have. Alex were going in circles," I replied.

"Aw shit," Alex said turning around.

"This is pointless. We've been looking for Adam for 3 hours," I sighed.

"So you wanna give up?' Alex asked.

"No. I think we need to go talk to his parents. They know Adam more than we do," I said.

"Are you kidding?! You know what his dad would do to him when he came back?" Alex asked.

"They haven't met me yet," I started.

Which I found as odd. Then again Adam was over my house almost everyday, all day, and Jaime just now found out that we were friends, so I guess it made sense.

"I think maybe if I talk to them....."

"That what, you'll be able to convince them not to move? Come on Brandon," Alex sighed.

"I'm not saying that Alex. All I'm saying is that maybe they don't know their son anymore. Maybe Adam's dad doesn't know Adam the way he thought he did," I replied.

And yeah, with any hope, maybe, just maybe, I could convince them not to move or something.

Ding dong.

Gino was a little nervous.

He didn't know what he was going to say, but he had to do this. It was the only way he was gonna see Brandon happy. Even if it wasn't going to make himself happy.

Adam's mother answered the door.

"Hello, can I help you?"

Gino stared into her friendly warm looking face. It looked as though Adam had a kind mother.

"Ah, you don't know me. I'm one of Adam's friends," Gino started.

Gino noticed the look on her face change.

"Come in," she said.

Gino did and followed her into the living room.

"Ah, my names Gino. I know Adam isn't here right now, and no I don't know where he is," Gino started.

His mothers look went from loving to concerned to sad. Maybe not the best way to start things off......

"I was hoping maybe I could talk to you about him," Gino started.

"He's a good boy you know. Always had his head on his shoulders right. I don't know what this move is gonna do to him," Adam's mother spoke.

"So you're sure he's going to come home then, Adam I mean?" Gino asked.

His mother looked unsure. That was enough of an answer for him.

"Does Adam talk to you or his dad a lot?" Gino asked.

"Well he talks to me a lot more now. He goes on and on about some boy I've yet to meet who he says changed him," Adam's mother spoke.

Gino knew it had to be Brandon.

"But Adam and his father haven't really gotten along lately. He wants Adam to follow in his footsteps and be a company practitioner. I always thought Adam had his heart set on football, but the way he talks now......it seems like there's more depth to his life," Adam's mother said.

"Then why move?" Gino asked.

"Believe me, it wasn't a decision I wanted. For me or for Adam. Things are just complicated. I just wish Tom would see how much this really is affecting Adam," his mother said.

Gino sat motionless.

"Ah, so how is he? Have you seen him?"

"Not since yesterday at school. But my best friend Brandon and his best friend Alex-"

"The two boys Adam's always talking about?"

"Yeah? They're looking for Adam, right now," Gino replied.

Just then the doorbell rang.

"Oh please let that be Adam," his mother said jumping up to answer the door.

Gino sat waiting for her to come back.

"Hi," I greeted.

"Alex, hi. You must be Brandon, "

"Ah, yeah, I am," I spoke slowly.

"Come in," his mother said.

I did, so did Alex.

"You must be here about Adam,"

"Ah yeah.....I....am, Gino?"

Gino turned around.

"Oh, hey guys,"

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

Gino started to fumble with his hands.

I never expected to see him here. Not after all the grief he gave me about Adam.

"I think it's wonderful that Adam has such caring friends now," his mother spoke.

I decided that if I was gonna do this, it had to be handled with as much care as possible.

"Have a seat," his mother spoke.

Alex and I both took seats on the opposite sides of Gino.

"Alex and I have been looking for Adam for a little while. But then I figured we'd better ask his parents if they had any idea where he might have gone. So......do you?" I started.

"Adam never has really tried anything like this before. I wouldn't know either," his mom replied.

"Look I'm not trying to pry, but I know Adam's been having problems with his dad," I started.

His mother looked almost ashamed.

"They have conflicting issues....yes,"

"Well, I think the only thing that's gonna get Adam to leave with you is if you have Adam have his father listen to him-"

"I do listen to him," Adam's father said coming out of nowhere. "or at least, I try."

Everybody from Adam's mother to Alex looked surprised to see the man.

All of us watched as he took a seat.

"I don't understand my son these days. But from what I hear....he's changed?"

"Honey, Adam's friends say he's a different person. I can see it too. Brandon here is the boy Adam's been talking about lately," his mom spoke soothingly.

Adam's father stared at me hard. It was a little intimidating.

"You're Brandon? You mean Adam hasn't been making things up?"

I wasn't sure what he meant by that, but I was gonna go with it.

"I think if you and Adam could just sit down and talk about everything that's been happening in his life lately, you'll understand why he doesn't want to move," I said.

Adam's father seemed to be processing everything.

"Yeah well, I'm never gonna get that chance now," his father sighed.

Just then we heard the front door shut and Adam walked into the living room.

"Adam honey!"

His mother jumped up to hug him.

"Dad, I think we need to talk about some stuff," Adam said.

"I think so too son," his father said getting up to hug Adam as well.

Friday

"So in short, all my friends will always be my friends. Even if they are grounded until next century," I said.

Everyone clapped. I sat down.

"Well, it seems as though your future is very well planned out. Good job," Ms. Brown spoke.

Of course my future was planned out. I couldn't believe that I came this close to losing Adam. But he and his father had worked things out. For themselves and for me.

"Okay, okay, okay. I got a good one. A guy walks into a bar," Adam started.

"Adam not that one again!" I said throwing a fry at him.

"Let joke-master tell his stale jokes. There's no future in it for him," Alex replied.

"Damn, where is Jade at with the rest of our food. I'm hungry," Ryan said.

"You're always hungry Ryan," Krystal said.

"Come on Ry, let's go check," Michelle said.

Both she and Ryan got up.

"So anyways he walks into the bar and-"

Michelle looked back to make sure Adam wasn't looking before she led Ryan into the girls restroom.

"Come on sexy boy, lock the door," Michelle said.

"Michelle, you sure you wanna do this here?" Ryan asked.

Michelle pushed Ryan into an empty stall.

"Ryan this is me were talking about here," Michelle replied.

"Eh, you're right," Ryan replied unzipping his pants.

Jade sat in the next stall. She'd put her feet up just as soon as she realized what was going on.

She was right. Michelle was cheating on Adam....with Ryan!

Oh god, she thought. How long was she going to have to stay in here?

"Ah, there she is," Ryan said.

Jade put the food on the table and glared at Ryan and Michelle.

"Yeah, we were starting to get worried. Everything alright?" I asked.

Jade continued to glare at Adam and Michelle.

"Well, we'll see won't we?" Jade replied putting on a fake smile