Disclaimer: First and foremost, this story is NOT true and is not meant to imply anything about any of the celebrities mentioned. Secondly, this story is similiar to the story 'Cosmic Companions' written by Shell, Kat, Jackie, and Colleen. I love the story and recommend that you read it, but 'Angelic Damnation' is not meant to be a rip off of their story. To the authors of 'Cosmic Companions' You rock! I love the story and am glad the bad guys got what they had coming. But, I don't want to give away the story so I'll shut up.
Also, my story involves the Backstreet Boys and contains consensual male/male sex. If you are not entertained by stories of this nature, you've stumbled into the wrong site. Please leave now. I know, I know. If you weren't interested, you wouldn't be here, but I'm required to write that anyway.
Questions, comments, and flames can be sent to Expression_of_Truth@hotmail.com ______________________________________________________________________ This chapter is dedicated to Alex12089~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ______________________________________________________________________
Two weeks had passed since the group meeting about Aj's battle with the bottle. Things were just starting to return to the normal routine for the guys.
One situation, however, was severely different; Aj and Howie. Howie had been on autopilot since that night, always deep in thought. Everyone in the group had noticed the change in him and they all worried. Aj had tried to make him talk one night and was met with hostility. Howie had pushed Aj out of his room and locked the door.
Aj had returned to his own room and tried calling Howie but he'd disconnected his room phone. They hadn't spoken since, though Aj went out of his way to be there for Howie, who never seemed to notice.
They were still on tour so at times, their worry for Howie had to be put on the back burner. But at the end of the day, when all was said and done, none of the guys could deny their worry for their brother.
Aj had been feeling unusually weak for the last few days. When he danced, he faltered. He'd fallen on stage twice now. He felt as if his body was punishing him for something. Some mornings, he wondered if he'd be able to make it through the day.
It was becoming more difficult for him to focus. His mind kept drifting back to Howie. It was clear to him that Howie no longer wanted to be with him. He wondered what he'd done. Howie wouldn't even look at him anymore.
And then he worried about himself. He knew he wasn't at his best. He knew something was wrong. But he had no idea what that something was. Nearly all the others had noticed and had inquired about it. Aj didn't know how to answer them. And he didn't understand why Howie was the only one who was not concerned.
He remembered when Howie would watch him like a hawk if he so much as tripped during a practice. Now, Howie seemed to take no note of him, or of himself for that matter. Howie never spoke. It was as if they were working with a ghost. Howie had left them all and no one knew why.
Aj felt as if part of him was missing. He loved Howie terribly and it was hard to see him like this. He wondered if he'd ever see his love smile again. He wondered if he'd ever fall asleep wrapped in his arms again. So much had changed. And Aj's pain was not just emotional. He felt physical pain after a practice. He felt unsteady after dancing for a time. That had never happened before.
Everyone had been watching him intensely. They knew he didn't drink anymore and wondered what could be wrong and why he wasn't himself anymore. Sure, he joked with the guys, he still laughed. His personality hadn't changed. But he'd always been an amazing dancer. When and why had that changed?
Aj decided he just needed to put all his focus into the music again. He wouldn't let himself be the downfall of the band. He knew he could be harmful to the band's image and he wouldn't have it. He would learn to put everything else aside and work his hardest on stage. ______________________________________________________________________
After a few weeks, Aj felt he was finally getting his focus back. He'd broken up with Howie and he felt it was a weight off his shoulders. He hadn't fallen on stage since he'd made the decision to put his all into the music.
In practice and at concerts, he pushed himself to perfection. His dancing was flawless; his voice, strong as ever. But, come the end of a day of practice or the end of a concert, he was exhausted and in pain.
He made a point of never letting the guys know he was hurting. Sometimes, it was really hard for him to hide it. He often felt like he was going to collapse. He found himself shaking at times, weakened. He had no idea what was wrong with him.
He knew they were going to be in Chicago for a little over a week so he made an appointment for himself with a local doctor, who promised confidentiality.
He managed to leave the hotel without running into any of the guys. The doctor's office was only a few blocks away so he was able to walk there. He told the doctor what had been going on lately and that he really had no clue what was causing it. He had no energy anymore and he was sore all over come the end of the day. Why?
The doctor took blood and Aj had to wait while the lab tested it for any sign of a problem. He'd been sitting in the waiting room, reading, for over an hour when he was finally called back to talk to the doctor. The results of his blood test were in. The doctor told him what the tests had revealed.
He returned to the hotel in a daze, not even noticing at first that all the guys were waiting for him when he entered his room. He didn't want to deal with them just then but Kevin, always on top of every problem, gave him no choice.
"Where were you?"
"I went for a walk." It was true enough. He had walked to the doctor's office. He knew it wasn't the whole story but there was no way he could tell them.
"Aj, please. What's wrong?" Nick asked, noticing Aj's expression and worrying even more.
"Nothing. I'm just...I'm just really tired."
"Guys, why don't you just let us talk for a bit, okay?" Aj was shocked to hear Howie speak up. He hadn't spoken at all in the last few weeks. The rest of the guys didn't seem too suprised. Apparently, Howie had snapped out of it earlier today. And now he wanted to talk to Aj. The guys quietly left the room, acknowledging Howie's request and leaving Aj no way out.
Howie looked at him, brown eyes meeting hazel, and asked sincerely, "What's going on, Alex? You lied to them. Something's wrong. I know you. What are you trying to hide?"
"Can you just stay with me tonight? Please, Howie? I don't want to talk about this. I want to sleep."
"Ok." Howie answered without hesitation. It was clear to him that Aj needed someone to be there. It was also clear that there was something very wrong. Howie wouldn't have left him by himself, even if he hadn't been asked to stay. Aj needed a friend and Howie knew this. This made it possible for him to look beyond the rocky ground of what they used to have. ______________________________________________________________________ End chapter three.