And We Struggle On

Published on Aug 3, 2000

Gay

And We Struggle On... - 4

And We Struggle On...

Chapter 4 ...Into The Vicious Circle

By: Scoop

Warning: This is a fictional story, describing erotic relations between consenting adult men. If this makes you uncomfortable, or if it is illegal for you to read something like this, then go find something else to do.

The following story is entirely a work of fiction, and is not intended to imply anything about any real people. All of the characters in the story are fictional, and must not be confused with any real people. The characters in this story may have the same names as some real people, but the characters are in no way supposed to actually represent any real people.


A word from Scoop: It's been a while, but I'm back with chapter 4. I sort of ended this story in chapter 3 inadvertently, so now I have to improvise a new beginning (again). Sorry for taking so long, I hope you enjoy.

Scoop AIM: The Skoop ICQ: 27497085


I opened my eyes and looked around. A noise that seemed familiar yet new at the same time had woke me up. The sun was shining in through the big window in our bedroom and I could feel its warmth. Looking at the clock I saw that it was only 7:30.

Going to be a hot day, I thought to myself.

Chirp, chirp.

That noise again. I instantly knew what it was. The birds that used to be outside our window every morning had returned, signaling also the return of the dry season.

I got out of bed and walked over to the window, stumbling at first until I regained my coordination. I heard a moaning sound coming from the bed. I stopped and looked behind me, afraid my movement had awaken Jeff. Nope, he was still asleep. He had reached over to my side of the bed and was hugging my pillow. I couldn't help but smile. After all these years and all that we have been through, I still love him with all that I am.

I went to the window and opened it. Inhaling deeply, my senses came alive with the fragrant aromas that Costa Rica had to offer. The birds were sitting on the perches attached to the bird feeder Jeff had made last week. He'll be pleased to know they like it.

I heard another moan coming from the bed and looked quickly in that direction. Jeff had rolled completely onto my side of the bed and was hugging my pillow as tight as possible. I sighed to myself without realizing it. Every sound that he makes at night that I am awake to hear frightens me.

Even though it has been five years since our last run in with the Resistance and his near fatal shooting, he still has nightmares about it. Oh not as frequent or as disturbing as they once were, but occasionally he'll wake with a start in the middle of the night with sweat pouring down his face and neck. I used to ask what was wrong, now I simply hold out my hand for him and let him hold it to calm himself down.

He's done that ever since we left office in Ottawa four and a half years ago. Whenever he had a nightmare he would grab my hand firmly in his until his breathing returned to normal. Even then he wouldn't let go. It was only when he was asleep again and he had relaxed his grip that I removed my hand from his.

One time I asked him why he would always do that. He looked me in the eyes, smiled at me, and kissed me gently on the lips. "Whenever something happens that bothers me, I just need to know that the most important person in my life is there with me." Is he great or what?

He doesn't have any pain like he used to either. When we were still in Ottawa, in control of everything, he used to get a lot of pain in his chest. The doctors all said it was the stress of the job. His blood pressure would get too high and his heart would react badly, mostly due to all the scar tissue that was still there. Since I was Grand Commissar I slowly reduced his work load to the point where he had to face no stress at all. One day he came to me and said he had had enough.

"I know what you've been doing, and I appreciate it. But not being able to work is killing me. Why don't we just leave. We'll resign our posts and go away together, just the two of us. No secretaries with meetings and appointments or papers to sign, no security, no media, just us." I couldn't say no to him. I liked the job, but he was more important to me. And the work was a hassle at times... most of the time actually.

So I said yes, emphatically. The next day we both announced our resignations from office. A month later elections were held and new world leaders took over. The new Grand Commissar was a really nice woman who was great with people and knew her way around every situation you could throw at her. The first thing that she did was change the official title. Well actually, she made away with it completely. From then on people were simply to call her Ma'am or Mrs. Blake. The only problem I saw was that she had no combat experience, but since my administration, or rather Jeff's administration, had taken care of the resistance, that shouldn't be a problem.

After a lot of teary good-byes and parties, Jeff and I were off to continue our life together. We knew where we wanted to be. It didn't take us any time to get to Costa Rica and set up our home. The people are great, and although everyone knows who we are, they don't treat us any different than the next guys. We've been here for just over 4 years, and I don't see us leaving any time soon.

"Wil?"

I turned around quickly to see Jeff sitting up in bed looking at me. His hair was a disheveled mess and he had the cutest half-asleep face ever. "Good morning gorgeous."

He looked at the alarm clock and groaned. "It's too early. Come back to bed." He patted the mattress several times as if to entice me.

"Of course, but first I want you to see something."

"What is it?"

"You have to come here and see it."

"Ooh, do I have to?"

"Yes you have to." His pouting face as he got out of bed was too adorable, I just had to laugh.

Jeff made his way over to where I was, walking like a new born lamb on unsteady legs. When he was standing beside me at the window I wrapped my arms around him and kissed the back of his neck. He smiled and snuggled closer to me.

"What is it you want me to see?"

"Just look over there." I motioned with my head in the direction of the bird feeder

As soon as he saw it his eyes lit up and a wide smile appeared on his face. "How about that. They like it."

"Of course they like it, you made it didn't you?"

"Heheheh, yeah, but that doesn't mean anything."

"Of course it does. Everything you do is perfect."

Jeff turned in my arms so that he was facing me. He placed his right hand against my face and slowly caressed it. "I love you Wil."

"And I love you too Jeff. Always have, always will."

That familiar anxious sensation swept through me as we leaned slowly into each other. I closed my eyes and instinctively knew what to do. As his lips caressed mine time seemed to stand still. I never tired of his kisses. Every one just got better than the previous. I felt something rubbing against my thigh and giggled. Jeff broke the kiss and looked at me, his left eyebrow raised in question.

I licked my lips, trying to keep the taste of him with me, and upon seeing the expression on his face I knew I had to explain my giggle. "I see someone is waking up. Or rather I felt someone is waking up." I looked down, and he followed my gaze.

"Oh... yeah. Well, I always wake up when you're around."

"Hmmm, well I guess we should make use of all that energy then, don't you think?"

"Well, I don't know, let me think about it for a bit." He looked up at the ceiling and started tapping his foot. I started to wonder how long he was going to tease me, when he grabbed my arm and pulled me to the bed.

I landed on the bed on my back with Jeff on top of me before I even stopped bouncing. He took my hands in his, our fingers intertwined. We looked each other in the eyes for what felt like an eternity.

Oh those eyes. In those eyes I have seen many things. I have seen fear and pain, indecision and worry, pride and ego, and strength and power. But of all the emotions that those eyes have betrayed to me, none have been as frequent as love. Every time I look at Jeff and see what he is going through, whenever he looks at me, I can see love make its way into his eyes.

"Wil, I was thinking." Jeff's tone had gotten serious.

"About what?"

"It's been almost five years since we last dealt with the resistance, right?"

"Yeah. I think it'll be five years next week."

"Yeah it will. Next Tuesday to be exact."

"OK. Why did this cross your mind?"

"Well, I was thinking how nice it would be if we renewed our vows on that day."

Renew our vows? Not something I had really considered. Not like we've broken them or anything. "I'm not sure I get your reasoning on this one."

"I was thinking... that it would be a symbol of how the world is going, you know? I mean, it was you and I that were in charge when we defeated the resistance, and if we renewed our vows it would be like we were shedding that part of our lives. Getting rid of the horrible memories completely."

"Jeff we can't get rid of the memories like that."

"I know, but symbolically. It would just be a gesture."

I pondered his suggestion as he was tenderly licking at my neck. It was kind of hard to concentrate, but I did come to the conclusion that I liked the idea. Just Jeff, me, and our closest friends and... "This wouldn't have to be public would it?"

Jeff stopped sucking at my neck and licked his lips. "Define public."

"Public as in a world broadcast."

"No way. Just you, me, some friends, and our families. Something small and romantic. It's just for our benefit, no one else's."

"Well in that case I say let's do it."

"Really?" Jeff's face lit up with a smile, his eyes at their brightest.

"Yeah. I think it's the perfect gesture."

"Great, we can do some planning this afternoon."

"Sounds like a plan."

"But now - "

"But now," I interrupted, "it's time that we make the idea official by making some hot, passionate love."

"Now there's a splendid idea."

All of a sudden there were five loud, quick blasts from a horn somewhere in the middle of San Jose. Both Jeff and myself jumped, startled.

"The international alert?"

"Quick, turn on the viewer to the news channel." Jeff's mind was already at full speed.

I turned on the viewer which was already set to the news channel. On the screen was a reporter whose face was so white you'd think he had seen a ghost.

"Ladies and Gentlemen in case you are just joining us, there has been a terrible disaster at the primary world headquarters in Ottawa. A terrorist group has bombed the main building causing heavy structural damage and injuring several people, with one confirmed death. Security was quick to respond, however, and Mrs. Blake was transported to an undisclosed location.

"Jeff could this be the Resistance again?"

"I don't know. We didn't get all of them, but I honestly don't see them coming back now, not after this long."

"Until we have further news we will... wait a second. I'm getting report of another incident, somewhere on the eastern seaboard of North America."

"Now what?"

"Shhh." Jeff moved to the foot of the bed to sit closer to the viewer.

"It has been confirmed that there is a hostage situation in the White House. The museum is being held by a group that calls themselves... the Avengers.

"So far reports say that no one has been killed, but the hostage takers are not acknowledging any attempted contact from World Security force negotiators.

"With only a few days remaining before the fifth anniversary of the last encounter with the Resistance, some analysts are speculating that this is a sign of their return. Reporting for World - "

Jeff turned off the viewer and walked to the window. He stood their with his arms folded, staring blankly at the Costa Rican landscape. I could see worry etched into his face. He had an idea of what was going on, and I was going to find out what he was thinking.

I got off the bed and walked over to stand beside him. When I placed my hand on his shoulder he looked at me and smiled then placed his hand on mine.

"You know what I'm thinking don't you?"

"I have an idea."

"Then you know that I think it is the resistance."

"Yeah. Question is, why did they come back after all this time?"

"If I knew that, I'd still be back in office."

"Jeff, you don't think this has anything to do with us, do you? They are calling themselves the Avengers after all. And we did stop the Resistance."

"I don't know. I wish I did, but I honestly don't know."

Knock, knock, knock. Jeff and I looked at each other, neither of us moving to answer the door.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Who is it," Jeff finally asked.

"Captain Matt Richards, World Security. We'd like to speak with the two of you."

Jeff sighed heavily and looked over at me again. "I guess that answers your question Wil. It does has something to do with us. And if my gut feeling is right, it has a lot to do with us."

"Well I hope for once you're wrong. I don't think these people will be quite so easy to defeat this time."


I would like to thank those who have written to express their opinions of the story as well as any ideas. As usual, any comments (good, bad, or in between) or suggestions are welcomed. Flames will be read and laughed at several times before being deleted (and possibly laughed at some more). Just send an e-mail to Scoop and I'll get back to you ASAP.

Next: Chapter 5


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