Anal Awakenings

Author: wilde_sort@ntlworld.com Story: Anal Awakenings Part Four

(c) wilde sort

m/f/m, m/m/m, m/m

Usual stuff applies: these characters don't have safe sex, cause they're not real. I'm not encouraging or condoning unsafe practices. If you want to get fucked, get out there and enjoy it, but take responsibility for yourself and don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with. If somebody likes you enough to want to fuck you, then they should like you enough to respect your needs (whatever they are). If they don't, it ain't worth it.

I was bereft. In the last few weeks I'd lost my girlfriend, realised I was in love, probably with two different men - who just happened to be in love with each other - and now I probably had no hope of finding happiness with either of them. Worst of all I had been rejected by my best friend. Tom had known me longer than anyone other than my parents. He had held my head countless times as I threw up. He'd stood at my back in bar brawls. He was the man who had put his arm round my shoulder at my father's funeral and soothed me as I sobbed. He had made love to me on the floor of my office.

I needed comfort. I couldn't be alone right now. I needed uncomplicated warmth, and I didn't want to ask for it. I needed to be with someone to whom I mattered. I pointed the Saab towards Docklands and Emma's flat.

I'd still got a key to her place from our early days together before she'd moved in with me. I'd offered to give it back to her recently, but she'd asked me to keep it. It was a symbolic gesture in keeping with our attempts to maintain contact and closeness, and I think it made her feel safe to know that we still had a domestic connection.

She wasn't there when I arrived, so I let myself in. Her flat was small, with a reasonable sized living room overlooking the water. A small vestibule at the back led to the two small bedrooms and the bathroom. Emma's immaculate taste was evident everywhere, and the flat felt cosy. I knew I'd come to the right place. I sloshed a generous measure of scotch into a glass and headed towards the back of the flat. I didn't feel comfortable making myself at home in her bedroom - somehow it would have been an invasion of her privacy. Thankfully the spare room was made up. I dumped my clothes on the floor and snuggled under the duvet. I couldn't even face drinking the scotch. I turned over, and hugging my knees to my chest, I abandoned myself to oblivion.

I don't know how long I slept, but I awoke feeling groggy and disorientated, and the room was dark around me. At first I didn't know where I was, but I'd pulled a sense of dread with me into consciousness, that made me feel uneasy about my dreams. There was a slit of light showing under the door. I needed to piss really badly, so, sleep-drunk, I crawled out of bed and shuffled to the door. I opened it to be dazzled by the light that blazed in the vestibule. Ahead of me was the door into the living room, to the right, Emma's bedroom, and to the left, the bathroom.

I presumed Emma must be in bed, so I cautiously aimed the stream of piss onto the side of the toilet bowl. I looked down at my penis. It was just the soft side of erect, heavy, with the foreskin partially retracted, the glans moistly poking out. It felt comforting in my hand. I shook the last drops off the end and stepped to the side and stood in front of the floor length mirror beside the bath. I hadn't turned on the light, but the Dockside area was never dark and soft light was coming in through the window.

I took stock of what I saw. This was what a bisexual man looked like. I was tall - over six feet - and broad in the shoulders and chest. In the last few years I'd broadened across the waist. I put my hand on my soft tummy and caressed the hairs there. I turned to the side and peered back at my arse. I tried to see what Tom liked in it. It was pretty big, as were my thighs. Years of rugby had made the best of what I'd been born with, and thankfully the slackness in my stomach hadn't crept any lower; my bottom was still pretty taught, my thighs hard. I put my hands on my hairy buttocks; they filled my hands, round and heavy.

I was enjoying looking at myself, taking stock, realising I still had it, would need it if I was ever going to find another man to shag me. My eyes closed as I thought of Tom. However angry I was, I knew how stupid we'd both been, and more than anything I already missed him very badly. What surprised me was that I also missed Jude. I thought of his gorgeous puppy dog smile and my guts twisted in pain to imagine what he'd think of me now. I was sure that Tom would tell him what we'd done - I didn't know how else he was going to explain his broken nose. I remembered his lovely pierced dick and him fucking me in a pool of my own piss on my kitchen floor. Jude was fun; he always seemed to be open to taking the most pleasure from every moment. Having sex with him had been energising, and I couldn't remember the last time I'd laughed so much with a lover.

But as I thought about them I realised that underneath all that, I was also feeling resentful and bitter. They had each other, they'd got it all sorted out; they'd used me, woken me from a sexual slumber, they'd enjoyed me, taken me to a submissive, powerless place, and dumped me. I had a sudden, violent image of me fucking Tom, raping him, over-powering him, shoving him down and slamming him, hearing him moan and scream and sob as I had done so many times with his cock in me. I felt my dick stiffen and thought of Emma, of how much she'd enjoyed me taking her up the arse, of how virile and masculine I had felt with her. I remembered her look of confusion the first time I'd buggered her as she'd tried to make sense of the obscene pleasure that was overwhelming her. I started skinning my cock, relishing its thickness in my hand, and realised I wanted Emma, needed her to want me inside her. I opened the bathroom door.

The hallway was now in darkness, which was odd, until I saw that the bedroom door was slightly ajar, and light was coming from within. She must have come to bed since I'd been in the bathroom - god knows how long I'd been in there feeling sorry for myself. As I stepped towards her doorway I heard muffled sounds, and then a man's voice groan. I felt a rush of excitement and anger as I tried to look round the door.

The lamp at the side of the bed cast a pool of golden light over most of the bed. Emma was being fucked on her side by a tall, slim guy with very dark hair. He'd got her in one of those athletic-looking positions that obviously made him feel like he was in charge. He was banging away with gusto. Emma looked bored. One of her legs was pinned uncomfortably around his shoulder, the other he was holding up round his waist. She was propping her head on her right hand, and with the other she was absently stroking her clit. In between thrusts he was keeping up a constant stream of porno-speak: 'Oh your pussy feels so good.' 'You love that cock, don't you?' 'Yeah baby, tighten that pussy.' 'You fucking slut, you love it.' 'God your tits are amazing.' He didn't sound like he was turning himself on, never mind her. His engagement with her body, with her experience of the fucking, was pretty non-existent. He was playing out a scene; he obviously thought he was impressing her with his patter, his energy and athleticism, but she looked like she wanted to turn the TV on.

His hips were pretty slender, and his body was almost hairless, which made his dark bush look stark and exciting. His cock didn't look especially thick, but from the length of his strokes, it was obviously fairly long. He was handsome, in a kind of off-the-shelf kind of way. You saw thousands of these young white-collar drones milling around Docklands and the City. Sharp suits, trendy hair cuts, cocky 'tude; on the way up and loving it, imagination locked on getting promoted, a better flat, a girl with bigger tits, an Audi TT. Their ambition was like a veneer, shiny, obvious, superficially attractive. This one was better looking than most, but that didn't surprise me; after all, Emma was stunning. As I watched he hauled her body on the bed, bouncing her uncomfortably into another Olympian position before resuming his regular, rapid, pumping.

Emma looked like she'd lost weight, and it didn't suit her. I'd always loved her fleshiness; she was a size 16 and carried it with poise and self-confidence. Now her spectacular tits looked bigger than ever against her slim waist, but she didn't look happy. She groaned in discomfort as he threw her legs back over her head and stood up on the bed. He dick slipped out of her as he moved. It was long and pretty thin, but with a bizarrely plum-shaped head that was covered in the froth of their juices. He crammed his penis back in her and resumed his rhythm, pistoning down on her body. At that angle I knew that she wouldn't have been getting much out of it. She couldn't even reach her own clitoris and his cock would have been nowhere near the G spot at the back of her cunt. As I watched he threw his head back and started playing with his nipples, balancing his thighs on her buttocks. I don't even think he was aware himself of how unexcited he was. At the rate he was fucking you'd have thought he would be cumming by now, but he looked miles off. He reminded me of men at the gymn doing reps, totally unaware of anything other than how they looked and how many circuits they'd done; constantly competing against an ideal notion of who they thought they should be.

However an inept lover Emma's shag might have been, I was nevertheless quite excited watching them. He was pretty good looking; she was stunning, and everything I'd seen validated my own prowess in a way that made my dick throb and salved my battered ego.

He pulled her down with him and knelt between her legs, pulling them ridiculously wide. His rhythm barely varied. I could tell that Emma just wanted him to cum and get his weird-shaped penis out of her. Cupping his pale, smooth arse cheeks, I could see her pushing a finger into his arsehole. I knew that she was trying to bring him off more quickly. She'd done it to me from time to time - it was, after all, a trick I'd taught her.

'Oh Jesus!' he shuddered violently as she stuffed two fingers up his slender arse and fucked him with them. With her other hand she was frigging herself like crazy. She had become much more interested in him, and was watching his face closely as she fingered him. His eyes were closed and the naff patter had stopped. He was feeling something; his strokes were slower but stronger. He dropped her legs, allowing her to get more comfortable, and, coincidentally, further up his arse. He lay down on top of her with his face screwed up tight; he was going to cum.

My cock was very hard, my breath ragged. He cried out in surprise as his orgasm hit him. Emma was violently humping herself on him and I knew that she was cumming too. I wanted to look after her. She deserved her orgasm: she'd worked bloody hard for it.

He'd barely stopped moving when I pushed open the door and stood with my arms folded, leaning against the frame. My cock had dropped, but was still engorged and impressive as I stood there with a shit-eating grin on my face.

'I don't think we've met.' I was affecting a Cary Grant drawl.

'What the fuck - ' He started badly, shoving Emma away as he attempted to put his hands in front of his withering dick.

'Tim! Jesus! What are you doing here?' Emma was taken aback, but clearly not that displeased to see me, given that I'd caught her shagging. She couldn't disguise the glint of pleasure in her eye at seeing me, particularly as I had no clothes on.

'Who the fuck are you?' He'd remembered that he was supposed to be tough, and was trying to adopt a pose of manful authority.

'I'm the boyfriend of the woman who's just had half her hand up your arse.'

Whatever resistance he thought he was going to mount was over. He dropped his gaze, blushing fiercely. We all might have been naked, but it was always bad manners to sleep with another man's girl. And it was never manly and virile to enjoy having anything up your bum; the idea that I'd seen what had happened wasn't something he could deal with.

Emma had got off the bed and padded towards me. She put her arms round my neck.

'Tim, you are naughty to interrupt us. But it's good to see you, looking, erm, so well.' She smiled, dipping her gaze to my distended penis. I kissed her lightly on the mouth.

'I spoke to Jude earlier. He told me that you've fallen out with Tom. Are you okay?'

'Much better for seeing you, Em.' I kissed her properly this time, and she responded. We'd both forgotten the man on the bed, until he coughed, rather nervously.

I broke our kiss, and asked Emma, 'Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?'

'Look,' he said, 'I'm obviously intruding on something, I'll leave you alone.'

'Don't leave on my account.' I said, nuzzling Emma's neck. I kissed her bare skin and murmured in her ear, 'Maybe we could teach him some valuable lessons?'

She pulled back from me, her eyes glittering, a mischievous grin playing at the corners of her mouth. I knew that she loved gay men, had always had lots of queer friends, and that her and Jude had become pretty inseparable. When we'd talked about my being bisexual, I'd suspected that her attraction to gay guys went beyond an appreciation of their apparent sensitivity and great quiche recipes.

'Jason, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Tim. Tim, this is Jason. We work together.'

'Pleased to meet you Jason.' I strode towards him, my cock thickly slapping between my thighs. He took his eyes off it long enough to grasp the hand I was offering him and we shook. I was really enjoying myself. I felt fully in control of the situation. Whatever crap Emma and I were going through, there was enough love and care between us that my position was secure. There'd been a new understanding between us when we'd spoken since I'd come out to her. This man-boy, with his shrivelled cock and his as-yet unrecognised liking for having his bum-hole played with, was no match for me in any way. I needed this.

I put my arm round Emma and dipped my head towards her right tit, teasing her nipple with the end of my tongue for a while before gently sucking it into my mouth as I stroked her heavy breast. She groaned softly and put her hands in my hair. With my other hand I reached between her legs and gently stroked her outer lips; they were still wet with Jason's cum and her juices. I pushed my finger into the sticky interior of her cunt. I felt my cock lift off my thigh and stiffly push itself away from my body.

I lifted my head from her breast and looked at Jason as I licked his cum off my fingers. He dragged his gaze from my cock and his jaw dropped as he saw what I was doing.

'Shall we play?' I grinned at him. He looked like a rabbit trapped in headlights. His own cock was lengthening nicely. I felt sorry for him. He wanted to play, with both of us, but his limited, laddish brain was telling him that a threesome with another man was gay.

But he was no match for Emma. She put her hand between her legs, bending her knees to give him a good view as she fingered herself deeply. Then she held out her hand to him. Like a man coming out of a dream, he leant forward and licked the stickiness from her fingers. Again I put my fingers to her pussy and then held them out to him. We were seducing him. I could almost see him assessing whether he could get away with having sex with us without his mates finding out. He took my fingers into his mouth and sucked his cum off them. Emma giggled lasciviously and I knew we had him. We were going to have fun.

Jason buried his face in Emma's cunt, lapping and sucking excitedly.

'Easy tiger.' She giggled, and turned to kiss me fully. As his tongue probed her more seriously she groaned into my mouth and pushed her tongue fiercely down my throat. When she came up for air a wicked smile played on her lips. There was a cockiness and confidence about her that satisfied me deeply. She winked at me, and put her hand on Jason's head. He was still buried in her pussy. I caught my breath as she moved his head towards my crotch.

'Be a good boy, Jason, and you'll get rewarded.' He looked up at her, his face a model of confusion and excitement.

I exhaled, my breath coming in a long sigh as he faced my erect penis. He was mesmerised by it. I could feel his ragged breath on my exposed, wet glans and I shuddered. He glanced at Emma again; her hand was in her crotch. He'd obviously never been so close to another man's erection. He turned back to my cock and opened his mouth and then I was enveloped in warm softness.

'Oh yes.' Emma gasped, watching Jason take my thick penis between his lips.

He licked my head like it was a lollipop before sucking it enthusiastically. I was very aroused; I must have been flooding his mouth with pre-cum. I moved my hand down to Emma's bottom and slipped my fingers into her crack. I gently rubbed her anus and she groaned.

She turned to me and put her head on my chest, fingering my hairs before whispering.

'Tim. Do you want to fuck my arse?'

Jason's ministrations were making it difficult for me to breath. 'Darling... I would love to... Put my cock up your. Arse.'

I gently eased my penis out of his mouth. It was very hard, and emerged red and wet. I walked over to the bedside cabinet and took a tube of lube from the top drawer.

'Jason, why don't you lie on the bed, and let Emma take a seat?'

She looked at me quizzically but I smiled at her solicitously and put my hand on her arse. I think she had a pretty good idea what I had in mind.

She took his hand and led him to the bed. His cock was bouncing in front of him and he looked like he'd been let loose in a sweet shop after hours. I couldn't help smiling. He had no idea what he was letting himself in for. Emma was game, practically gagging for some kink, and I wasn't going to disappoint her.

She pushed him down on the bed and straddled him. He cried out as she sank herself down on his slender meat, his head rearing up off the pillow. She wriggled around on him, her legs obscenely spread as she presented her arse to me. Any doubts I had about her knowing what I had in mind were deliciously dispelled.

I walked towards them and grabbed Jason's legs and pulled him down the bed. His eyes were wide, but I ignored him until his hips were on the edge, his feet on the floor. His confused, handsome face looked so appealing smeared with my pre-cum and his saliva. Emma was balanced on his torso with his hands on her hips. I stepped between his knees and crouched a little. I could see her cunt lips distended around his shaft as I lubed up my cock.

'Oh Jesus!' Jason looked like he was about to burst into flames when he realised what I was doing, but he had the presence of mind to pull her buttocks apart. Emma was looking over her shoulder, smiling at me. I was going to fuck both of them.

The head of my dick looked especially big against her anus, and above his much skinnier member. I felt powerful and aroused, but also calm and benevolent. Emma deserved to have her fantasies indulged. I nudged my glans against his cock and rubbed her crack with it before easing it into her arsehole. She dropped her head onto his chest, pushing her hips further up towards me. I felt him lift his loins to keep his cock in her pussy. I waited a few moments as her muscles relaxed and then pushed my shaft about halfway up her rectum.

The heat coming off her was incredible. She was making deep, lusty groans into Jason's chest, absently rolling her head from side to side. I leant over her back and cupped her tits as I started fucking her. My hands were sandwiched between their slick, sweaty flesh, and over Emma's head I was face to face with the hapless Jason. His eyes were so wide they could have popped out of his head. I was making slow, strong thrusts up her arse. She was incredibly tight.

'Come on Jason,' I smiled at him, 'fuck her.' I urged him on, rocking their bodies beneath me until I felt him start humping up into her. His firm legs chafed mine as he braced his feet against the floor and I felt the stiff mass of his penis moving against the wall of her bowel.

Emma was tripping out between us, pushing back against me, grunting and panting as we fucked her.

'Are you okay, baby? Does that feel good?'

Her answer was incoherent, but definitely affirmative, as she groaned loudly, moving back against me. Jason was staring at her in disbelief. I wasn't surprised; having seen his earlier performance, he can't have been that used to seeing women lose it in ecstasy.

I've seen a lot of porn featuring double penetrations of women - it's difficult to avoid them. They seem to have become a staple of het videos. I'd always been suspicious about the pleasures such scenes offered supposedly straight male audiences. The ludicrously contrived positions necessary to facilitate double fucking have always struck me as the closest two men can get to fucking each other, without actually fucking each other. Now I knew how impossible it was for two men to fuck a woman at the same time and not have a complete, and completely sexual, awareness of each other. Almost as much of Jason's body was touching mine as Emma's was. My pleasure in being up her rectum was increased by the pressure of Jason's cock against mine inside Emma's body. My identification with her getting fucked was heightened by my recognition of his curiosity about what we were doing to her. And the turn on of subjugating her was, for me, much less acute than the pleasure of topping him. Because that's what I was doing - symbolically at least. And I knew before the night was over that I'd be doing it for real.

I felt incredibly loving towards Emma. I felt proud of her for being so comfortable with her desires. I'd seen how bored she'd been by Jason's earlier attempts at pleasing her, by his complacent machismo. I knew what it felt like to give yourself over to powerlessness, to let yourself be taken, and taken care of by people you trusted to take responsibility for your pleasure, your well-being. It made me sad that our last few weeks of living together had so undermined her, made her whiny and brittle. I'd withheld myself from her emotionally and she hadn't been able to cope. I'd imagined the truth of what I was going through would devastate her, but instead it seemed to make her more at ease with me; I wondered if she'd had bisexual inclinations of her own, and vowed to ask her about it and support her experimentations. We may not end up living together again, but I knew that there was something between us that was important and precious to us both.

I could feel Emma's movements becoming more urgent beneath me, and the sounds she was making became more violent. She was straining against us, frantically managing the waves of sensation, and yet there was a wonderful slackness about her as she started cumming, panting hard, and letting out little high-pitched gasps. Her arms were stretched over Jason's head. His face looked slick and red with strands of her hair stuck to his skin. I stroked her back and softly caressed her tits as she came, murmuring soft words of encouragement to her. I was stunned by the length and intensity of her orgasm. As her shuddering eased, we stopped moving inside her, and she turned her head towards me, closing her eyes. I leaned into her and took her tongue in my mouth. She was gently twisting her loins on our hard cocks as she kissed me with such tenderness that I felt my legs stagger and I clutched her slippery body to my chest. I slid my eyes past Emma's head to Jason. He was watching us with such intensity I wondered if he was okay. I put my hand on his leg and stoked him. He twitched at my touch, and then put his hands on Emma's hips, arching his cock up into her, as we gazed at one another.

I was aware that neither Jason nor I had cum, but that our cocks were still rock hard. I gently withdrew my stiffness from her bowels, gasping as her sphincter tightened against the movement. As Emma and I continued to kiss I pulled her up into my arms, off Jason's penis, and turned her round to face me fully. His naked dick got momentarily pressed against my slack hairy belly, where it burned my skin, before it slapped back onto his body. Emma's arms were wrapped round my neck as I lifted her back onto Jason's torso; she straddled him with her back to his head and gently I removed her arms and slid her backwards until her bottom was in his face. They got the idea and starting 69ing. She took his penis in her mouth and he parted her buttocks with his hands and leaned between them greedily. I watched them for a few minutes, skinning my dick, before I grasped his legs, lifting them off the floor and bending them back towards Emma.

The look of satisfaction on her face was positively feline as she braced his thighs back with her elbows, presenting his arsehole towards me.

I could see Jason's hairy balls drawn up tight to the base of his cock, and below them, a dark hairy line disappeared into his buttocks. Kneeling at the base of the bed, I leant into his body and licked his balls. At first he didn't realise what was happening, but then he raised his head and saw what I was doing. He flinched from my touch, but he didn't have anywhere to go with his cock down Emma's throat, and anyway, it was feeling too good for him to work that hard at resisting me. I started licking and sucking his balls in earnest, my face close to Emma's. Her mouth was stretched reasonably wide around his slim cock, but her eyes were wider still as she watched what I was doing.

Dipping my head lower I parted his buttocks and looked at his anus. I could smell the earthiness of him, the yeasty bitterness of his arse and the salty maleness of his sweat. His sphincter pulsed spasmodically, tickled by the warm movement of my breath. He was very aroused, his arselips slightly parted from the fingering he'd gotten earlier. I wondered if anyone had ever rimmed him before. I felt like I was inducting him into a thrilling fellowship, offering him pleasures unknown as yet in his tender years. He was full of youthful vigour and immaturity and it was very exciting.

His sigh, muffled by Emma's rump, was full of shock and wonder as I pushed my squirming tongue against his anus. His arse hairs were prickly against my lips and nose and his smell strongly filled my nostrils, making my penis throb. The tight pucker pulsed against the point of my tongue before yielding and then I was licking the silky pinkness inside his rectum.

Emma took Jason's penis out of her mouth so she could concentrate on my rimming him, and I could see that he'd dropped his head from her cunt back onto the bed. His eyes were closed and he was groaning like a girl. I had a sudden image from earlier of him fucking Emma, all posturing virility, and pushed my tongue into him as far as it would go, flattening it out and pumping him full of my saliva. He tasted bitter and soft and male and good and I closed my eyes and anticipated shoving my big hard cock into his softness.

He couldn't keep still with my tongue up his bum. He was writhing about the bed, pushing himself into my face. Emma had her hand round the base of his cock and it was rock hard, its oddly distended glans fatter than ever. He kept making a series of little gasped 'oh's, almost as though he was trying to keep from shouting out loud. I sympathised with him, but badly wanted to know what sounds would emanate from him with my dick rammed up his rectum. He was clearly enjoying himself, but wasn't ready, or able, to acknowledge it. In fact he looked completely spaced out, disorientated; horny but overwhelmed.

I stood up between his legs and lined up my fat dick with his hole. He sensed the movement and looked up to see what I was doing. I pressed my glans against his open lips and he gasped loudly.

Emma looked up at me. Her face was sheened in sweat. 'Oh yes, Tim. Fuck him. I want to see it.' The longing in her voice made my dick throb.

'Oh no. No.' He dropped his head back on the bed, eyes tightly shut.

I pressed forward and lodged my dick just inside him. His arse was open. His cock was leaking pre-cum that ran down his shaft and over Emma's hands.

His macho, laddish sensibility was telling him that he didn't want me to fuck him. But his body was telling him something else. As I held still, barely penetrating him, he spread his legs, adjusting the angle of his hips to facilitate my entry. He was still vaguely murmuring 'No', tossing his head on the bed, but as I pressed forward and he felt my penis move inside him he groaned.

'Oh God. Jesus. No. Please.' It wasn't clear whether he wanted me to stop, or was begging me not to. I don't think he knew himself. But I did, and so did Emma. She couldn't take her eyes off my fat shaft as it inched into Jason's belly. She put her hand down under Jason's balls, and encircled my tool. She caressed my cock and traced round the edge of his distended anus. I realised that she'd never seen anal sex from this side before. She leaned up towards me and kissed me, breathing heavily into my mouth.

'Are we having fun, baby?' I murmured into her open mouth.

'Oh yes. I want to see you fuck him. Fuck him for me.'

'Help him out, babes.'

Breaking from our kiss, she turned round to face him. She got hold of his hands and brought them up to her splendid tits. He woke as if from a dream and opened his eyes and started caressed and cupping the handfuls she'd given him to play with. She leant forward and kissed him deeply and he responded passionately. His face was very red and coated in a slick sheen of sweat.

I was only about halfway up him, as I started gently fucking. I grabbed his dick, enjoying its hot hardness in my hand and tossed him off in time to my thrusts in his bum. He started moving against me, involuntarily helping me to fuck him, as he tried to intensify the sensations inside. At this angle, my cock must have been sliding against his prostate with each stroke. Emma came up for air; she had her hands on his face and her tits under his chin, as she spoke to him.

'Do you like that, baby? Does Tim's dick feel good inside you?'

He didn't answer her. He bit his lip, grunting and writhing with the pleasure of getting fucked. She stroked his hair and wriggled against him, letting him feel the womanliness of her soft, curvaceous body.

'Tell me, baby. Turn me on. Tell me how good it feels.'

'Oh god!' He was gasping like a fish out of water, but he couldn't hold back any more.

'Oh shit. It feels... Good. Oh god, it feels good.'

'I know, baby. Tim is very good at this. Just relax baby. You're safe here, just relax. Let Emma take care of you.'

She let her body fall to one side and moved upwards, resting back against the headboard, cradling his head in her hands and against her tits. I let go of his throbbing cock and lifted his legs up onto my shoulders. I started in with deeper thrusts until the full length of my penis was embedded in his tight, hot, twitching hole.

I was staring into his face, but he couldn't look at me; he had his head partially turned towards Emma, resting on her chest. His face displayed the struggle he was having between shame and pleasure. He was ashamed of what was happening to him: getting fucked up the arse by another man, an older, stronger, more masculine man who was using him like a bitch. He was ashamed of how much he was enjoying the fucking he was getting; enjoying the physical sensation, but also the subjugation of submitting to me, and submitting to Emma. As she cradled his head, soothing him whilst he moaned and gasped into her tits, she told me to fuck him harder, to stuff my big cock up him, to show her how much of a man I was. Shame hadn't softened Jason's cock, which now lay, twitching on his belly, oozing pre-cum onto his smooth skin.

I could feel his butthole clamping on my cock and relished how much I was enjoying myself. I could feel my orgasm building somewhere behind my balls and shoved myself into Jason's bowels more urgently, increasing the pace and force of my thrusts. I was gasping, moaning, 'Oh yes, oh yes. Yes, yes.' over and over, all my attention taken by the exquisite, tight friction against my cock.

Emma could see I was close, and started frigging herself. 'Oh baby, are you close? Are you going to cum inside him? Oh yeah, baby, fuck him.'

Her words heightened my excitement, but they pushed Jason well over the edge, and suddenly he was crying out, shoving his face between her tits and grinding his hips onto my penis. Emma leant forward eagerly to watch as his cock started pumping sperm onto his chest and stomach. The contraction of his arse muscles was so strong I thought I'd get pushed out, but the feeling of being intensely squeezed in his bum had me gasping. My orgasm hit and I filled his bowels with my sperm. Emma's face was slack, her hand almost a blur in her crotch. She bent her face down to Jason's and they were kissing deeply as she moaned that she was cumming into his open, slack mouth.

I slowed my thrusts inside him and watched as my sometime girlfriend kissed her lover with a passion I hadn't seen her exhibit towards him when they'd been fucking earlier. She'd taken her hand from out of her cunt and was gently stroking and massaging his tummy, rubbing her fingers in his cum. Pulling away from the kiss I watched as she lifted her hand to my mouth. Jason gazed up at me with a look of greedy gratitude as I licked his cum off her fingers. I looked deep into his eyes as I slowly withdrew my thickness from his rectum. As my fat head cleared his anus he closed his eyes, and softly groaned at the sensation of movement through his sphincter.

Jason's face was glowing with bemused wonder as I left the room to piss. My cock looked red and swollen in my hand. My legs were a little weak, but as I looked at myself again in the mirror I felt good. I turned on the shower and climbed under the scalding spray.

When I padded through the living room to the kitchen area, Emma was sat waiting for me, sipping a cup of tea, wrapped in a big fluffy robe. She looked up at me and smiled.

'How's our friend?'

She grinned, 'Sleeping like a well-fucked baby.'

'It's good to see you Em.'

'Yeah. Tim, I know why you came here today. I'm happy that you still think of me as someone you need when you're in pain.'

'I love you, honey, what can I say? We kind of got to a place where we didn't make each other happy. I kept things from you...'

'Don't go there, Tim. I can't say that I'm not disappointed we won't be tripping into the sunset together. But to be honest I'm not sure how well we'd have done when the passion wore off anyway.'

I looked at her in shock, and she grinned at me before continuing. 'Look, you're a wonderful masculine, man. You're a great fuck. You made me feel alive and sexual and gorgeous. But baby, you weren't that great at understanding me, talking to me, you know?'

I put aside a rising sense of anger and, with effort, recognised the truth in what she was saying. 'Yeah. I know. I've learnt a lot about myself lately. I needed to learn how to enjoy... putting aside my pride, my ego, all that macho crap. You've got a good friend in Jude, you know.'

'I know. So have you.'

'You think?'

'Tim, I'm not going to break any confidences here, but there's a lot that you and Tom don't know about Jude. He's a lot more his own person than I think Tom realises.'

I was surprised to hear the bitterness in her voice as she spoke about Tom. I wondered what Jude had told her. But that wasn't my primary interest right now.

'What happens now, Em?'

'I don't know, Tim. We've got something special here, haven't we?' I nodded. She continued, 'But you're not in a position to commit to me, and I've kind of realised that I'm not ready to play wifey for some bloke right now. Let's be friends... Who play together when it makes us feel nice.'

I laughed at her boldness. 'Sounds like a plan to me, babes. Any more of your boyfriends I can fuck for you?'

'Oh god, Tim. We were really bad! That poor boy will never be the same again!' She giggled deliciously. 'Jesus. I thought I was going to die when you put your penis in him... I knew he'd love it.'

'Just like you, slut!'

We opened her scotch then, and toasted one another's naughtiness. We ended up snuggled up on her couch, dozing amiably. Several hours later, Jason staggered from her bedroom. He'd managed to get dressed and looked sheepish as he said goodbye to us. We waved to him from the nest we'd made on the sofa, and then giggled together as we watched him walk, rather bow-legged, to the front door.

I returned to my own home the next day. I felt a little emotionally fragile, but no longer destitute. My time with Emma, as well as boosting my ego, had made me feel connected: I was significant to someone I cared about. Things weren't the same as they were, but it was enough, for now, to know I wasn't completely alone.

For a few days I enjoyed domestic routines. Going to work, using the gymn at lunchtime, making sure I didn't sit at my desk all day. Coming home, cooking for myself, reading, rediscovering music I loved and listening to it at antisocial levels. Emma and I spoke every day, and I found that I looked forward to hearing her voice. There was a depth and openness to our relationship that I was enjoying. She was still keeping me at a distance, and that suited me. I didn't want her to move back in. I wasn't even sure I was that interested in her sexually. I'd sought refuge in her familiarity, in her attractiveness, when Tom had dumped me. Being able to fuck her had salved me ego, but I'm not sure how hot we'd have got if Jason hadn't been on the scene. I'd been stunned how turned on she'd gotten watching some guy-on-guy action. Maybe straight women had the same thing about gay sex that straight men had about lesbians.

I'd been in from work about half an hour one evening when Jude called round. It was wonderful to see him, but I felt self-conscious. It was the first time I'd seen him since he'd found out about me and Tom. He greeted me enthusiastically as I opened my front door. He looked gorgeous, stood on my doorstep in a beautifully cut suit.

'Hiya, handsome. How are you?'

'I'm fine, Jude. I'm surprised to see you.'

'Why? Because Tom was fucking you behind my back? For god's sake, Tim, he didn't invent shagging around!'

I loved his straightforwardness. As he spoke he tossed his head back and flung his arm in a motion that I think was meant to communicate the extent of the shagging around.

'Listen darling, I can't stop, I've got my friend Dave in the car, but we were passing and I just wanted to see how you are.'

I couldn't help but hear the subtle emphasis he placed on the word 'friend'. 'I'm really pleased you came, Jude. To be honest, you coming makes me feel a lot better. I'm sorry we didn't play by the rules.'

'I think it was a bigger crime for Tom than for me, actually. He had some big idea of us living together, joint accounts, getting a cat, all that.' His tone of dismissal made it clear what he thought of Tom's plans. 'Given that's what he was thinking, fucking you was a little outrageous. But much as I adore him, I don't want all that, you know? And besides, I've got my own plans...'

'And do they include your friend Dave?' I grinned at him, putting the same stress on the word 'friend' that he had.

He put his hand to his chest and gasped in mock horror. 'Whatever do you mean?' His big pretty eyes gazed out at me from under his long lashes, affecting starlet naivety, before giggling. 'Jesus, Tim, he's a sexy fucker.' The stab of jealous pain in my gut shocked me. 'Just thinking about him makes me hard.'

'Oh yeah?' I put my hand on his crotch, and felt the stiffness there. I was trying to be casual, but I could hear the catch in my voice.

Jude was looking at me very directly. 'Sweetie, are you jealous?'

I laughed, awkwardly.

'Oh my god! Tim!' He folded his arms around me and brought his face close up to mine. I could smell the slight milkiness of his breath over the spicey exoticism of his cologne. 'I don't want to marry Dave any more than I want to marry Tom. God knows!' He tossed his head at the absurdity of the idea. 'I think you and I need to spend some time together, maybe over dinner, when I'm not making you do naughty things on your kitchen floor.' He giggled. 'I like you Tim, and I want us to see more of each other.'

My stomach had butterflies in it. I was looking down into his chest, couldn't make eye contact. 'Does that mean you still want to...'

'Sleep with you? Of course it does! You're a very sexy man, Tim.'

I brought my head up and kissed him with such urgency, his eyes widened, and then his tongue was in my mouth and my hands were in his hair. I was moaning into his mouth as I tugged off his jacket and his smooth, dry hands were under my T-shirt, caressing my back strongly. I ripped open the front of his shirt, delighting in the warmth of his body. He slid his hands down the back of my joggers onto my hairy arse. He sighed and ground himself against me. I could feel the stiffness of his cock pressing against mine and I made a little cry of pleasure into his mouth. Our breath was ragged in each others' faces. His hands were cupping my arse-cheeks, pulling them apart and questing into my crack. We were still greedily sucking and probing our mouths as he backed me towards the kitchen table. My hands were in his belt, loosening his trousers and pulling them down. His lovely pierced cock was wedged between us as I kicked off my joggers and rubbed myself against him. I wanted him inside me very badly. I wanted him to take me and use me and fuck me and make me moan and pant and scream his name. I wanted Jude, my lovely queeny Jude to use me like his bitch and treat me like the slutty dog that I was.

He pushed me backwards so I was sat on the edge of the table, and reached behind me to get the olive oil bottle that was stood next to the balsamic with the salt and pepper. He poured some into his hand and roughly slathered his penis with it. My arms were round his slender, toned neck, my legs wrapped round his waist as he found my puckered anus and pushed against it urgently.

'Oh Jesus.' I dropped my head onto his shoulder as his slick cock slid right up inside me. The warmth and friction in my rectum felt obscene and delicious. I rotated my bottom on his cock and groaned at the movement in my belly.

Jude started pounding me, hard and fast, his open shirt flapping against me as he thrust, his breath harsh. I contracted my sphincter round his shaft and heard him gasp. My cock was rubbing between his warm smooth belly and my T-shirt and I was close to cumming. Jude was making desperate groans, panting with the exertion of his fucking. I wanted to feel him cumming inside me.

'You fucking dirty slut.'

It took me a moment to realise that it wasn't Jude who'd spoken.

I felt a stab of fear as I saw the tall, lanky man who was stood in the doorway of the kitchen. His head was shaved, and he was dressed in tatty jeans and T-shirt. His feet looked huge in their enormous black work boots. His arms were covered in densely patterned tattoos. Rows of thick steel rings were pulling on his lobes, and one huge ring hung from his septum. As he walked towards us I saw a crown of thorns tattooed round the sides of his scalp. His face was cute in a rough, wicked kind of way. His eyes were huge and dark, his lips full.

Seeing the look on my face, Jude stopped moving and turned to look at the stranger over his shoulder.

'Oh fuck! Babes, I'm so sorry!' Jude staggered against me, his body convulsing in suppressed laughter and embarrassment.

'I've been fucking waiting 15 fucking minutes.' The stranger's voice was deep and common. 'Guess you got held up.' The guy swaggered towards us with exaggerated thuggishness. He slapped Jude's arse playfully.

Jude gasped, part laugh, part relief. 'Tim, this is Dave.'

Dave was rubbing the bulge in his crotch and looking at us hungrily. I felt cowed by his gaze, recovering from the shock of him appearing in my kitchen, embarrassed by being caught by such a man getting fucked on my own kitchen table. My cock had shrivelled and Jude's dick felt stiff and uncomfortable stuffed in my rectum.

'I know who Tim is.' Dave's lip curled disdainfully and he cast a coldly appraising glance over me as he leaned towards Jude and kissed him on the neck. His eyes were boring into mine as he said, 'Fuck 'im, Jude. Make him pant like a fucking dirty little doggy.'

My cock hardened again at his words, and I shivered at the sense of objectification I felt under Dave's brutal gaze.

Jude and Dave kissed deeply, as Jude started moving inside me; short, lusty stabs into my arse. My cock was oozing onto my hairy belly. I couldn't take my eyes off Dave. His appearance was so contrived, and yet so startling. It was shocking to see someone with such an extreme self presentation. He looked like so brutal, uncompromising; and yet his tattoos and piercings were so indicative of very precise, almost prissily particular tastes. I could smell him strongly, an earthiness that rose off the heat of his body.

Jude broke from their kiss to concentrate on pumping me. Dave stared into my eyes. His gaze was unflinching. He raised his hands to my chest, and grasped my nipples. His fingers were long and blunt, fingernails dirty and chipped. I gasped as he pinched my nipples, and then cried out as he twisted them viciously.

'D'you like gettin' fucked?' I nodded as his gaze drilled into me. Dave's face was close to mine as he spoke and I could smell stale fags on his breath. Jude's movement inside me was tripping me out, and I knew that if I touched my cock I'd cum.

'Look at 'cha. Fuckin' slut. Slack-holed man-cunt. Little boy playing at being a real man. What he needs is sorting out. He needs a good shagging. Doesn't he?' He was speaking softly, his full lips curling disdainfully, his eyes still locked on mine. I nodded, feeling very excited by him referring to me in the third person, like I wasn't worthy of being spoken to directly.

'You queers are all the same. Dirty little doggies who need a real man to scratch your itch. Ain't that right?' He'd turned to Jude and dropped his right hand from its continuing assault on my nipple. I felt Jude flinch and knew that Dave had showed his fingers up my lovers' arsehole. Jude stopped moving and closed his eyes. I could see Dave's arm moving strongly behind Jude.

'Oh Christ! Easy baby!' Jude's plea was full of pain and pleasure.

'You don't want me to stop.' It wasn't a question. Jude grasped my forearms tightly. I didn't know exactly what Dave was doing to him but it was turning me on. Abruptly, Dave removed his hand from Jude's arse and starting freeing himself from his jeans. He stepped back from us as he opened his flies and dragged the denim round his thighs. He wasn't wearing underwear. His cock was fat and greasy. As it was released it slapped up against his flat tummy. The ring through its glans was incredibly thick. It looked obscene, scary and unnatural. I knew immediately that I wanted it very badly.

Dave stepped up behind Jude and pushed on his back, pushed him in towards me. I put my arms round his shoulders and pulled him to me. I kissed him softly as I watched Dave crouching behind him, lining his brutal looking penis up with my lovers' arse. I felt Jude's cock throb in my hole as Dave pushed himself roughly inside. Jude gasped into my mouth, and I swallowed his groans greedily, relishing his being taken by this animalistic stranger.

'Fuck yourself.' Dave grasped Jude's hips and held himself still. As Jude fucked into me, he withdrew himself from Dave's tool; as he pulled out of me, he impaled himself. I looked into his face and saw his eyes, glazed and unfocussed; his mouth was slack.

'Oh fuck. Oh fucking Jesus... Oh baby.'

Jude's movements slowed and Dave started packing him; Jude dropped his head onto my chest. The force of the thrusts was shifting the kitchen table on the floor. Dave put his right hand on Jude's shoulder and gripped it fiercely. His other hand steadied Jude's hip. Dave's lips were drawn back from his teeth in a grimace as he made violent jabs at Jude. I gripped my lovers' cock tightly inside me and I felt him stagger and cry out as he came inside me.

As Jude stood upright, Dave pulled out of him.

'Get out of the way, Jude. I'm gonna fuck your mate raw.'

As Jude obliged, flashing me a quick complicit grin, I felt cum oozing out of my hole. My cock was rock hard. I wanted this rough fucker to take me and use me. He stepped in between my legs, staring down between my buttocks. I felt his fingers between my cheeks, moving in the stickiness there, probing me bluntly, but not ungently. He picked up my heavy cock off my belly and held it in his hand.

'Push it out, mate.' He voice had softened. He was still staring between my buttocks.

His hand felt hot on my dick. My chest was tight, and it was warm and thrilling being enveloped by the rough, dirty smell Dave was giving off. I pushed down with my internal muscles, like I was taking a shit. I felt the warm wetness of Jude's cum pass through my sphincter.

'Oh yes.' Dave sounded almost reverential. His gentleness was as thrilling as his earlier violence. His awe seemed to be containing his immense power. His interest in my fucked hole, oozing cum, was turning me on more than I could have imagined. My cock was throbbing in his hand.

I became aware of Jude standing beside me at the edge of the table. He bent over me and I sucked his tongue into my mouth, moaning at the taste of him.

'Guess it's sloppy seconds for me...' As Dave let go of my penis to focus on getting inside me, I picked it up off my stomach, enjoying the familiar firmness of it in my hand.

Dave crouched a little, holding his slimy cock as he lined it up with my hole. I was slack and aroused, lubed up with sperm. I felt a flash of cold hardness against my arse lips as his ring pushed through them and then his stiffness was right up inside me.

'Aaah. There you go.' His tone was still full of awe. He flexed his hips against me, holding my thighs tightly against his torso as he penetrated me deeply.

I groaned into the back of Jude's throat, relishing the stillness, the hot stuffed feeling inside my belly.

Dave started to pull back and then fucked me full of his stiffness, hard and fast. He quickly established a punishing rhythm, and I could hear his flesh slapping hard against mine. His strokes were violent and unrelenting. I felt a stab of dull pain high up in my rectum as he banged inside me at the end of his stroke and I tried to move off it, but his hands dug painfully into the flesh of my thighs and I settled into the discomfort, tripping on my subjugation. He was hurting me, but I was making sharp little surprised shouts of pleasure and my dick was making my hand slick with pre-cum. The pain of his thrusts had taken the edge off my impending orgasm, but quickly I felt myself reaching that plateau again.

'Look. At. Yourself.' Dave panted between thrusts. 'You. Love it. Filthy. Fucking. Faggot.' With each word he pounded into me with an unrestrained violence. He was frowning with concentration, his rough, thick-lipped face looked menacing and very exciting. I heard him hawk and then he spat a big gob of spit into my face; it landed just under my eye and rolled down my cheek, cooling on my skin as it slid. A wave of disgust rolled through me, a hot pain of humiliation. I felt myself cumming, sperm shooting up onto my neck and chest, arsehole clamping on the meat stuffed inside me. I tossed my head from side to side revelling in my self-disgust. I felt marvellously abandoned, like a kid who's just filled his pants and hasn't yet felt the shame of it.

'Fuck! Fuck!' Dave face was screwed up as he held himself deep inside me. I yelped with pain as I felt his finger nails lacerate my thighs.

Afterwards we sat in my kitchen and got pissed. Dave was a tree surgeon and pretty good company, even though he had some flaky ideas. His earthy, rough machismo was appealing, and it gave me a buzz to hear him laugh at my jokes as I sat in the dampness of his cum soaking into my pants. I felt a pang of loneliness as they left together, the melancholy of too much beer. I staggered up stairs to my bed, hugging the pillow to my chest and smelling the men who'd recently fucked me on my skin, in my hair.

I didn't see Jude for a few weeks after that, although we spoke on the phone often. I was still enjoying the routine of my solitude, of taking care of myself, exercising, eating well. My slack tummy got a little more taut, and my body began to resemble its former rugby-playing state. It felt good to enjoy my vanity.

But the ache for Tom was never far away. My best friend had been taken away from me. There were parts of my life that were cut off from me because I didn't have Tom to share them with. It was like my own feelings weren't real without his wisdom and humour to check them out with. Everything was less bright, less worthwhile. A couple of years back he'd introduced me to Walter Mosley and I'd devoured all his novels with relish. Passing Borders on Oxford Street one day I saw the new Easy Rawlins was out and started into the shop until I realised I wouldn't be able to talk to Tom about it when I'd finished it. There was no point reading it. A wave of depression rolled over me, and I felt exhausted by it.

I'd fallen in love with him. It was the most obvious thing in the world. Like a dream in which you feel the most perfect happiness, and long to bring it with you into consciousness. I'd known him all my adult life. Trusted him, cared for him, known he watched my back. And then, miraculously, discovered he could stimulate the wildest, and the tenderest, passion I'd ever known.

And then he'd gone.

It wasn't going to be all right. I wasn't going to feel that perfect happiness again. But I would go to work. Talk to Emma. Go to the gymn. Do my washing. Wank myself stupid, futilely.

I had no real sense of how much time was passing, of how long it was since I'd seen Tom that terrible afternoon. When I came home from work one day to find him stood on my doorstep, at first I was shocked, not to see him there, but by his nose still strapped and eyes blackened.

Suddenly short of breath, I turned off the ignition, trying to calm the cramps in my belly, and got out of the car. I beeped it locked and stepped towards the front door. I hadn't looked into his face.

'Tim - '

My key was in the lock of my front door. Tom was standing beside me. I had thought I would be ready to see him. My heart thumped in expectation, desire. I could feel my face softening in his presence. But I couldn't look at him, didn't want to give up any power, didn't want to feel the sickness of humiliation.

'Tim, can I come in?'

'Why not?'

I didn't look at him as I held the door open behind me, as I took off my overcoat and draped it over the banister, as I walked into the kitchen and automatically reached for a glass and the open bottle from the fridge. I sloshed the wine into the glass and drank deeply. He was stood in the doorway of the kitchen. I looked into his face over the rim of the glass. There was a trace of sheepishness at the corners of his mouth, but his features were as strong as ever. I had an image of his shiftiness in his hallway the last time I'd seen him and took another gulp of wine and said nothing.

I watched as he calmly took off his coat and draped it over the back of one of the chairs. He took a glass from the shelf and stepped towards me and picked up the bottle from the counter next to my arm. When he'd filled the glass he moved away and sat at the table, taking the only warmth in the room with him. I took another slug of wine.

'All that anger's not good for you, you know.' His gaze was direct, his voice calm, controlled.

'Piss off.' I turned my back on him, leant my bum against the edge of the counter and drank deeply from my glass.

'Ok. Sorry.' His voice softened, and I heard him shift in his seat, the chair scrape on the floor. 'Can we talk?'

I sighed, and turned back towards him. 'I'm listening.'

'I'm sorry that things got so out of hand.' He spoke with a kind of cod earnestness that he'd learnt from his therapist. I thought he would carry on speaking, but he sat back in his chair with an air of self-satisfaction.

'Is that it? Well, thanks, you can go now.'

'You're being very hostile.'

'Get stuffed, Tom.'

'And childish.'

'What the fuck do my expect, you smug mother-fucking cunt?' I slammed the glass down on the counter. 'What do you want me to say? What do you think you've done here? What are you apologising for? What are you giving up, admitting to?' I suddenly ran out of steam; I felt tired. I ran a hand through my hair. 'What do you want?'

'I want us to be reconciled.'

'Jesus! What the fuck does that mean?'

'I want to be friends again, open up a dialogue - '

'Why?' The harshness of my voice surprised me.

His gaze faltered.

'Lost for words?' My tone was taunting. I sloshed some more wine into the glass and drank deeply.

'Look... do you think this is easy for me? To come here?' His composure was slipping, fractionally.

'So? Should it be?'

He tossed his head back, and raised his arms and let them fall back to his sides. 'Oh get over yourself. Cut the martyr crap. Take some fucking responsibility.'

'Well, what the fuck are you admitting to?' I stared him down, hard, for the first time, meeting his gaze with conviction, forcing him to look away first. 'What did you think was going to happen when you came here, I'd let you patronise me like you always did, play at being a good sport and let you be the real man?'

He screwed his face up, but I plowed on.

'You fucking hypocrite tosser. You might fancy men, and come out with all this new age yoga shit, but you're a fucking macho pig. For fucking years we've played this game where you get to have it all your own way cause you're a faggot, and I'm too fucking guilty to call you on it. I mean, Christ! Half the fucking time I didn't know what you were pulling. I used to think you were so bloody cool, the hard man who paints his toenails, who doesn't apologise for being queer. I was fucking well taken in by it all. You're a competitive little fucker, and fucking men is all about your pathetic macho ego, it's all about power -'

'Oh do me a fucking favour!' He interrupted me savagely. 'A straight man who likes playing at being a sub in private is going to fucking lecture me about what it's like to be queer? And just what the fuck do you think you're giving up to the world? Come out as bi at work, have we? Told the blokes down the rugby club that you like taking it up the arse have you? What the fuck do you know about power? Do you know how hard I have to work to make sure nobody shits on me?'

Silence opened up, filling a chasm of despair and confusion between us. I could hear the harshness of my breath. Eventually I said, 'And does that include me and Jude?'

He waved his hand dismissively, 'Oh, what are you talking about?'

'How hard do you think you have to work to keep up this macho front with the people who care about you? You're so busy defending yourself against the world that you can't let down your guard with anybody.'

'What do you know?' He leapt to his feet. His earlier composure was shattered. 'I wanted Jude to live with me, be with me. I thought it was for real, that we had something.'

'And what were you doing with me, then?' I spoke softly, staring down at the counter in front of me. I looked up and saw his face crumpling as he sagged back into the chair and rested his head and arms on the table.

'The truth is that you treated me so badly because you were scared of how you felt about me.' I suddenly saw how much more clearly I saw everything than Tom did. 'Jude complements you, is unthreatening to you. He's such an adorable queen, being with him makes you feel like a man. But what are you so scared of? You've played up my sense of confusion, but really it's you who doesn't feel okay about your sexuality. It's only okay for you to fuck men if you know that you're really the man.'

He looked up. There were tears in his eyes but he gazed at me mockingly. 'Is that supposed to make sense?'

'You bloody know what I mean.'

He raised his eyebrows. 'You never complained.'

I smiled at him. 'I loved what we had. But it wasn't healthy for either of us. I enjoyed being your plaything, but we couldn't carry on ignoring what it all meant.'

'And what did it mean?'

'Oh Tom. I love you. But I'm not competing with you any more. I'm not going to let you fuck me around so that you can feel good about yourself. I care about you too much to facilitate that kind of self-loathing - mine or yours.'

'I'm sorry, Tim.'

I exhaled, and felt my shoulders drop. 'So am I. Does your nose really hurt?'

'You've got a serious right hook. Always did have.'

'You can't keep punishing me for being straight. Even if I'm not quite as straight as we thought.' I snorted, not quite laughter.

Tom looked at me quietly for a while. When he spoke I felt the intimacy opening again between us. 'It was such an incredible turn on for me. You were always so effortlessly masculine, always had such stunning women on your arm, always the bloke the lads looked up to, without you even trying. Jesus!' He laughed, shaking his head. 'We were best mates, I loved that you could handle me, never showed any discomfort with my sexuality, never shut me up. I'd always fancied you, in a kind of distant, safe way. That night with Jude, I could barely contain myself. And since... well, it's been like some kinky fantasy. What gay man doesn't fantasise about taking a butch straight guy up the arse? Fuck! It was such a head-trip! I've never felt so excited. Taking you, punishing you made me feel so powerful. Rape fantasies are weird. You feel so fucking macho, but worthless, disgusting. I was hurting myself, hurting Jude. Christ! What a mess!'

He looked up at me, and his gaze was soft, his eyes moist.

When I spoke, my voice was unsteady. 'I didn't have any way to protect myself from you. You were already so deeply under my skin, you know me better than anyone.'

'I know, I know. In the end I felt like such a shit, I really was just punishing you, for making me feel so bad. And all the time, I couldn't get any perspective, cause you're my best friend and I couldn't talk to you about it. That last time, I really knew I had to stop. I idealised my relationship with Jude. Thought that if I could just hold on to that I couldn't be such a git after all.'

'How is Jude?'

'You tell me. I've spoken to him on the phone, but I think he wants some distance from me.'

'Are you okay?'

'I miss him, sure.' He looked up at me. 'Not as much as I miss you, matey.'

We gazed at each other across the kitchen for what seemed a long time. For the first time since I'd smashed his nose, I felt like everything was going to be okay, but I still didn't know how to approach him. Had we said too much? He looked a little lost himself, like he wasn't sure it was alright to reach out to me.

I walked towards where he was sat, and put my hand on his skinhead. Gently he put his arms round my waist and laid his head against my tummy, as I put mine round his neck, cradling him to me. I heard him sigh. The bulkiness of him felt wonderful, solid.

I don't know how long I stood there; we weren't in any hurry to move. Neither of us knew quite what was going to be okay: our old modus operandi felt too risky after so much soul bearing.

Eventually, I gently disengaged. 'I'm starving. Do you want to eat?' He nodded at me silently. I opened the fridge and started taking out vegetables, cheese. I felt good, clanging pans, chopping and stirring, reaching out from the density of our emotions into the methodical, practical world of the kitchen and our basic need to eat. As the room filled with the hearty smell of frying garlic, Tom stopped watching me silently and went to the fridge.

'D'you want more wine?'

'God, yes.' I smiled at him, and as he held the bottle he leant forward and kissed me on the lips. Our lips parted gently, tentatively probing our new selves. He gently pulled away to get the corkscrew, smiling dopily, and I turned back to my pans, glowing with pleasure at our reprieve. With every delicious domestic intimacy we pulled further back from the abyss. We hadn't puttered round the kitchen together for years; back then he certainly wouldn't have been kissing me. I felt the sudden profound weight of how much I wanted him, not only in my bed, but in my kitchen, in the routine of my life.

By the time we'd eaten, and drunk another bottle of wine, I felt sleepy and happy. We'd chattered our way through the meal, laughing and bitching through the few weeks of our separation. Neither of us spoke of Jude, Emma or each other. We didn't need to, and there were still raw places that we would only be able to come back to when we felt stronger.

As Tom took my hand and led me upstairs, I put my head on his shoulder companionably. I didn't think we'd have sex. I wanted us to get naked and cling to each other. I imagined his arms holding me as I drifted off and looked forward to the best night's sleep I would have had for months.

He paused outside my bedroom door, and we stood facing each other. In the weeks of our illicit passion, we'd never fucked in my bed.

'Are you okay?' I asked.

He nodded, leaning towards me. Gently manoeuvring to protect his strapped nose, we kissed. At first there was reticence; but our melting garlicky kisses became more passionate as we felt each other's tenderness. His hands were in my hair as I sucked his tongue into my mouth, relishing the salty taste of him. He dropped a hand to my neck and caressed me gently there as his tongue wriggled in my mouth. My hands were on his big firm arse, smoothing over the denim, enjoying the weight of him in my palms.

Suddenly sleep was the last thing I was interested in.

Our previous times had been characterised by my willingness to submit to him, by the thrill of my expectation of his desire to have me. Now I wanted to explore him.

When we finally tumbled into my bedroom, his shirt was hanging off and my pants were round my knees. Giggling at our fumbling ineptness, we parted to tug off our remaining clothing. When we came back to each other I felt his warmth radiating strongly and the smell of his excited body filled my head, making me dizzy. Slowly I ran my hands over him, perhaps for the first time assimilating his body for myself. He was solid and meaty, but with an outer layer of softer, yielding flesh. His arms felt powerful but his skin moved under my touch. I traced the outline of the large tattoo that extended over his shoulder and down his left arm and down into the dark hair that shaded his broad, strongly defined forearm. Grasping his hand in mine I lifted his arm over his head and breathed in the saltiness of his armpit. The dense coarseness of his moist hair was beautifully framed by the firm edge of his pec and the back of his shoulder. I dipped my head and rubbed my nose under his arm and licked his sweat as he dropped his hand onto the back of my hair. Inhaling deeply I groaned. I wanted to eat him, devour him, savour all his tastes and smells. His flesh thrilled me, yielding its dormant power under my explorations.

Tom is a beautiful, masculine man. He matches my six and a half feet, although he's maintained a more disciplined exercise regime than me in the last few years and so his rugby player's build hasn't started to turn soft, as mine has. His closely shaved, balding head forms a strong contrast with the acres of unruly dark hair that cover his chest, from his neckline, fanning out across the width of him before tapering down his stomach in a broad line into his dense bush. His legs and arse are also carpeted, but thankfully not his back. At the base of his spine, above his arse crack, he has a patch of hair that's just visible above his Calvins. His face is broad and long, with strong, very horizontal eyebrows and big, wide brown eyes above high cheekbones and a long, thick nose. His mouth, usually framed by a couple of days of rough stubble, is pink and his lips broad and thick.

As I sank to my knees, releasing his arm, he let his hand rest heavily on top of my head, and I faced his awesome cock.

It hung down between his legs, poised in the moment before erection. Engorged and fat, his thick foreskin had partially retracted and his glans were moistly peeking out at me. The smooth soft surface of his shaft was traced with veins, their thick blueness punctuating the ochre creaminess of his skin. The heat of his arousal was generating a strong animal smell in his crotch, salty with a slight tang of piss. I buried my nose in his bush and inhaled him, relishing the gentle caress of his hands on my head. At last I felt that this moment actually belonged to us, two men tentatively recognising their feelings for one another, uncompromised by the churning sickness of guilt or humiliation.

I lowered my head through his crotch, my nose following the crease of his leg, his cock hot and hardening against my cheek. His legs parted as I ducked lower. His balls, encased in a surprisingly dark scrotum, drew up as my breath bathed over them and I felt him shiver above me. Lodging my nose just behind them, I opened my mouth and felt the coarseness of his hair in my mouth and then I was licking the wrinkled, yielding surface. I heard him sigh, and gently traced round the outline of each of his fat balls. My saliva cooled on his skin and I felt the weight of his penis lift off my chin. I moved backwards and breathed in the earthiness of his arse.

I was stretched awkwardly on the floor underneath him, my neck aching upside down. Grasping his high, tight buttocks, I moved him to the bed, where I bent him over the side. He was acquiescent and sprawled on top of the duvet, turning his head to one side and spreading his legs wide. His arms were arced round his head, and his cock pressed down against the side of the bed, poking down between his legs. It looked obscene. He was magnificent, muscled, hairy and docile under my explorations.

His buttocks were so firm that even with his legs spread, his crack wasn't open. As I parted them, breathing in his dense aroma, his sphincter winked at me, tickled by my warm, erratic breath. He moved his legs further apart, making my access easier. His crack was furry, and with my finger I parted the hairs obscuring his hole. It was tightly puckered. I didn't know how many cocks had been up there; from what I knew of Tom's sexual tastes and history, it can't have been many. From the tightness of it, I'd have said it was a long time since anything substantial had been inside him. I felt a strong urge to give him this, to offer him the strength and warmth of my body. I wanted to allow him to feel taken, to lose himself in my desire for him.

I pushed my tongue up against his anus and felt it spasm tightly against the wet intrusion. I moved around it, feeling the little ridges radiating, tightening against my touch, but gradually relaxing as he got used to the intimate contact. My face felt full of the taste and smell of him, and saliva started to run down my chin as I lapped more passionately. I wanted to open him up and eat him, push myself into the heart of him. Gradually I felt the outer layer of his muscle opening. I pulled back and felt the coolness of saliva on my face. Flattened by dampness, the dark curls of hair matted the inner surface of his buttocks, and his anus was displaying a glimpse of its inner pinkness.

I reached up to my bedside drawer and took out the lube. I pumped some onto my forefinger and then more into his crack. I watched as the clear liquid ran through the hairs and over his pucker, which pulsed, widening slightly at its touch. Gently I touched my finger to his centre and felt it tighten against me. I rested it there, firmly, and felt his body shift as it widened and then I was trapped in the thick tightness of his anus. I lodged there, feeling him contract tightly, and then he was open and I pushed my finger fully inside him, into the opening behind. I heard him moan softly above me and he shifted upwards, parting his legs more widely, bending his knees. He was very tight, but as I found his prostate, pushing downwards firmly, I heard him moan in surprise, and his sphincter loosened around my finger. I advanced another and soon both were stroking him as he made soft purring noises into the bedclothes.

Watching my fingers penetrate him got my cock very hard. I glanced down at it, angrily red and throbbing in my crotch. The foreskin was fully retracted and pre-cum was oozing freely. We'd never talked about me fucking him. I hadn't ever imagined it, until after that day when he'd dumped me, when I'd cum many times over thinking about raping him, punishing him, making him beg and plead for my cock as I had done for his. But the fantasies were expressions of my powerlessness: I had never really conceived of taking him. That wasn't how he'd excited me. Now that I was here, with him splayed over the edge of my bed, I didn't want to humiliate him. I wanted to take care of him, to give him my passion, to hold him tightly as I came inside him and felt his body trembling beneath me. I knew that was what he wanted even though I could never have imagined him asking, and we hadn't spoken about sex all evening. Once we'd finished shouting, neither of us was confident enough of the rapprochement we'd achieved to broach the subject of the sexual dynamic between us, but now I knew that he was conceding something important to me, and I felt a strong sense of gratitude for the responsibility he was giving me.

He didn't say anything as I stood up and slathered my cock with lube, nor as I grasped his legs and swivelled him onto the bed, but as he reached up for a pillow and wedged it under his rump, he turned and smiled at me. I leant forward and we kissed, slowly and passionately. I came up behind him on the bed, and our lips parted. His legs were splayed open, his arse tilted up towards me. The high tight mounds of his buttocks were one of the sexiest things I'd ever seen, a thrilling contrast to the soft heaviness of most of the women I'd screwed. Leaning down over his back, with my knees between his, I braced myself on my left elbow and with my right hand I guided my penis into his slippery crack. It wasn't the most comfortable position to try and get into him, but I was so excited my dick hurt and I knew I was so hard we wouldn't have a problem.

I rubbed my stiffness between his cheeks until I felt his pucker against my glans. Tom pushed back against me as he felt me up against his hole. I moved forward and felt him yield and then tighten. My head was lodged just inside, tightly gripped and unable to penetrate further. I knew that he wasn't used to having anything up his back passage, and my cock isn't anywhere as big as his, but it's still pretty thick. I let myself drop down onto his back, my cock throbbing intensely as I felt the deliciously firm cushion of his bum against my loins. I pushed my arms under his armpits and grasped his shoulders, keeping up a steady pressure against his sphincter.

As I felt it open and my penis push into his body he reared up under me.

'Oh. God!'

I held back slightly, not allowing myself to fully penetrate him as he settled back down into the bed.

'Jesus! Hold it. Oh god, hold it.' He was panting, sensations overwhelming him. I could feel the extreme tension of his body beneath me.

'It's okay baby.' I nuzzled his neck gently, holding myself still inside him. His head was turned to one side, his eyes tightly shut. I could only imagine what he was thinking. The urge to fuck was strong, but the restraint was delicious. I felt strong and giving, probing his interior, knowing how I could hurt him and that I'd enjoy it, but choosing to care for him, and enjoying that more.

Slowly the tension in his limbs dissipated and I felt his sphincter dilate. Without pushing into him, my penis slid further inside and I felt more than heard him sigh. Now I was fully inside him, my crotch pressed tightly against his magnificent arse, and I felt a surge of pleasure. I closed my eyes and willed myself back from the brink. I snuggled into his broad back, rotated my hips and gasped at the sensation of my shaft moving inside him.

He opened his eyes and looked back at me.

'Are you okay, Tom?'

He nodded dopily. His face was flushed and sweaty, his stubble damp. His blackened eyes and strapped nose looked adorably pathetic, yet dangerous and rough. I squeezed him tightly and felt him push his arse back onto my stiffness.

He closed his eyes and dropped his head back onto the bed.

'Fuck me baby. Fuck me good.' He murmured sleepily, his deep voice vibrating in my chest, tightly pressed against his back.

I flexed my loins against him and felt myself push deeper into him and watched his brow furrow and his lips part as he groaned softly. I gently withdrew a couple of inches and pushed back into him. Closing my eyes I rested my head between his shoulder blades and starting pumping him, short outward strokes, and then slowly but firmly pushing deeply into his buttocks. As I withdrew he made delicious expectant inhalations, letting them go and softly groaning as I pushed back into him.

His arsehole still felt intensely tight and I had to concentrate not to get too excited. At each push into him I felt the thrill of wanting to go deeper into his bowels than his taut sphincter would allow. My cock felt unbearably stiff. For the first time in my life I wanted a bigger cock, wanted him to feel me in his throat, wanted to fill him completely with my manhood.

Gradually my thrusts became stronger and I felt his arsehole, his whole body, become slack under me. I started pulling almost all the way out of him, then deeply back inside. He picked up my movements, and on the inner stroke, when his arse was as full of my cock as it could be, we wriggled together, relishing the inner contact. His groans, which had been deep, subterranean mumbles, became more urgent, his lips parted, and his brow furrowed deeply with concentration. I knew what he was feeling, that exquisite, intolerable violation, the intense intimate fullness deep inside, and it heightened my pleasure. I was taking him. I was fucking Tom on my bed, making him moan as he had made me moan.

He shifted beneath me, shoving his hand down into his crotch. His breath came in a hiss as he grabbed his dick and started jacking himself in time with my thrusts inside him. I sped up, slamming long, deep thrusts into his slack arse.

Suddenly he cried out, violently, 'Oh fuck! Jesus baby, fuck me!'

Beneath me his movements became more urgent. I held on tightly as his body shifted and convulsed strongly, almost fighting to stay on him, to keep my cock inside. I pushed my hand down between his damp, hairy torso and the dishevelled sheets and pillow. He released his cock and I held it tightly. He was so big that my fingers didn't reach all the way round his shaft. He extended both arms in front of us, grasping the bed frame and flexing his body. His strength was tremendous, his muscles bulging tautly, and I used his immense penis to hold his loins steady against my onslaught. He humped his stiff cock in my hand, pushing back against my hardness inside him. I could no longer sustain my long thrusts, and began rabbit-fucking him. Sweat was pouring off me onto his strained body beneath me as we heaved and bucked against one another.

I felt his arse clamp down on my penis and he cried out, shoving his cock into my hand, into the pillow. I slammed myself deep inside him, gasping as his anus spasmed on my fat dick. I felt his cock pumping, felt the stickiness of his sperm in my hand. I couldn't believe I'd fucked him into cumming, and bit into his neck, momentarily frozen by the onslaught of my orgasm. Quickly I jammed myself into him, three or four violent thrusts as I flooded his rectum with my spunk, before I collapsed onto his back, flexing myself against him as the spasms passed.

My cock was still stiff inside him as he turned his head and found my lips with his. Our mouths were wide open, tongues blunt as saliva flowed between us. I ground myself into him and he moaned into my mouth.

Eventually we shifted onto our sides. My penis was still inside him. I could feel the stickiness of our fluids drying between us. One arm was still wrapped round his shoulder, the other held his cock, which had softened, but which I still couldn't get my fingers all the way round.

When my soft cock slipped out of him he sighed, but snuggled back against me. I don't know how long we dozed like that, but when I awoke, the air felt cool against my skin. Tom slept deeply against me. The sky was deep black against the bare window, and I pulled the duvet over us and nestled back against him.

It was still dark when I next awoke. Tom was shifting in the bed, which sagged as he got out and padded towards the bathroom. I stretched ecstatically, nourished by the warmth of the sheets where his body had been. I'd dozed off again, and awoke as he climbed back in bed. This time he cuddled up behind me, and I drew my legs up to my chest, enveloped in him. I drifted off, deciding that I'd kiss off work the next day, and luxuriated in the idea of us spending all day in bed, talking, eating, fucking. I had my best friend back.

Much later I opened my eyes to see streaks of mauve lightening the sky. I could feel Tom's hard-on poking my back. I stretched in his arms and turned to face him. He was awake.

'Good morning starshine.' He smiled at me and we kissed, gently.

I pulled back and gazed at his face, softened by sleep and fucking. He took hold of my hand, and lifting his leg, touched my fingers to his arse. I could feel the lips of his sphincter, still inflamed and distended, sticky with lube and cum.

'Feel what you've done to me. I'm sore. I keep farting out cum.'

'Perils of being a slut bottom.' We giggled and kissed again, more passionately. I felt my cock rising.

I stroked his cheek. 'Are you okay?'

He looked at me. 'Wonderful, matey. And you?'

I nodded sleepily. We kissed some more. Our breath was stale, our stubble caked with last night's dried saliva, but it didn't matter.

We started caressing each other under the sheets. My hand was splayed across his hard buttocks, finger gently lodged in the stickiness between them. I felt his immense dick poking my belly, smearing the pool of pre-cum it was leaking there. It felt wonderful to be in his arms, but as we made out I had a growing sense of insecurity. We'd thrown out the old rules, ended the dodgy power games, but I didn't want to feel unstable, like I had to give up the thrilling identity I'd just found.

I needn't have worried. Tom started humping himself on my tummy as we kissed. Eventually he pulled away.

'Jesus, Tim. I've got to fuck you.'

I grinned at him. 'Thank Christ for that.'

His smile was cocky. 'Oh yeah? Worried that I wouldn't want to throw you a portion any more?'

'Fuck you!' I laughed.

He stopped smiling, and touched my face. 'But you need me to take care of you, don't you?'

My dick jumped, and I nodded. It wasn't so funny now. I wanted him inside me very badly.

He sat up in the bed, pushing off the covers, and reached for the lube. His dick sprang up, big as ever. I'd felt it inside me often enough, but still it was a shock to think I could take it.

Last night his maleness had been yielding, needy, and I'd found it very exciting. This morning all I wanted was for him to take me and use me. I didn't feel excited by my own humiliation any more. I felt Tom's equal, felt how much he cared for me, and how much he needed me to care for him, but I still wanted him to dominate me, to fuck me into oblivion with his huge cock and make me beg for more.

He slathered lube on his shaft and pulled a pillow down the bed. I positioned it under my hips and drew up my legs. I felt his sticky fingers at my arsehole and pulled open my buttocks. My own cock was heavy and hard on my belly. All trace of drowsiness was gone. We both needed this, both needed to affirm the dynamic between us. Our actions were swift, urgent.

With just a little pressure, my anus was open and very soon Tom had three fingers wriggling inside me. Kneeling between my legs, he was slowly wanking himself with his other hand.

'Tom. Please - '

He looked into my eyes as he brought his cock up against my arsehole and I rested my legs on his shoulders.

'Are you okay?' I loved his care, but I was impatient.

'Yes, please. Just fuck me.' I closed my eyes. 'I need you inside me.' I opened them and felt his broad, spongy head pressing against me. It was too big, even though I was open. I wriggled against him and felt it penetrate me. Tom gasped sharply and grasped my legs tightly against his chest.

'Easy baby, I'm gonna cum' he gasped.

'Sorry' I groaned, pushing, trying to hump myself on him, frustrated by my passivity. I was desperate.

'Okay baby. Here you go.'

He brought his loins forward and I felt his stiffness slide right up inside me. I rolled my head back on the bed and groaned deeply.

'Oh yes. Oh Jesus. That's it.'

The stuffed feeling deep in my bowels made my cock jump on my belly. I could feel my sphincter spasming around his huge girth and a sharp pain high in my tummy, but I didn't care.

I gasped sharply as he slid further inside me and I felt his balls against my bum. I rotated my bottom on his cock and groaned, tossing my head from side to side as I felt the hot stiffness moving inside me.

I wrapped my legs round his waist as he bent over me, tucking his thighs under my hips and hunching his crotch further inside my legs. He kissed me with such passion that I couldn't breathe, pushing his tongue strongly into my mouth and down my throat. I was flooded with his saliva and pulled him to me, tightening my arms round his torso. His hands found my nipples and rolled them strongly between his thick fingers, pinching me until I gasped. I felt my arsehole dilate and I farted round his thick member, and we shifted together, his immensity moving further inside.

I felt my feverishness subside a little and our kissing became less intense. Finally Tom pulled back, and let go of my nipples.

'Is that better, baby?'

I tensed against him, feeling the solidity of his penis in my rectum, and then I relaxed, exhaling deeply.

'Fuck, I needed that.'

'Me too.'

'Really? You still need to fuck me?' I felt rather small.

'You know I do. I wanted you to fuck me last night. You needed it. I need to be taken care of sometimes. I need to let down my guard, stop being competitive. Shit, sometimes I need a bloody good rogering. But it's not who I am. I don't need to get fucked to feel desired, to feel sexual. I know that you do. But you need to know that I'm not going pull any crap on you because that's how it is between us. No more power games. I love you because you're a man.' His face was close to mine, his voice deep and soft and loving. His hand was stroking my hair.

'I love you too, Tom.' I kissed him, softly, then gently pulled back, contracting my sphincter round his cock. 'Now fuck me like a man. I want your spunk in my belly.'

He didn't spare me. He fucked me hard and fast and deep and it felt wonderful. My arse was slack and let out stoppered little farts round his girth. I could smell the rankness of our sex but all I felt was the itch deep in my belly that was abating as I laid myself open and relished the fucking I was getting. His thrusts were so fast they blended together and all I could do was gasp sharp breaths as he slammed me.

'Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.'

'Is that good, baby?' Tom sat back on his haunches, slowing, giving me a respite. Holding my legs up on his shoulders he plunged his shaft all the way in and then all the way out. As he slowed his pace, the feelings inside intensified. I could feel his thick cock rubbing my prostate, and the friction was tripping me out. His strokes felt amazingly long as his incredible penis disappeared inside my belly and then withdrew almost to the tip of his fat glans.

'Oh god...your dick is big...make me cum, Tom.'

'You got it.' He looked down at me hungrily. 'Jesus, you look hot.' He stroked my broad, hairy chest. 'I've never fucked such a butch guy before.' He was panting heavily. 'Did I ever tell you that?'

I knew he'd fucked several married men in his time. Once I'd found his tales unnerving and trilling. Now I only wanted to hear him tell me how special I was.

'Oh Tom, fuck...I'm close. Oh god, I'm close. Don't stop. Please, don't stop.'

'Don't worry, babes, I'm not going anywhere.'

'Oh god, that feels so good. Fuck me. Fuck me.'

His long, unhurried strokes were driving me insane. I grasped my nipples and rolled them between my thumb and forefinger.

'Oh yes. Play with yourself. Shit, you're fucking amazing.' He was breathless, but collected, almost calm. I knew he was close to cumming, but I felt the intensity of his attention focussed upon me, watching the pleasure I was getting from him stuffing me with that fucking mammoth penis.

I watched my cock jumping on my belly as I felt the orgasm hit me. The first pump hit my neck and them ropes of it stuck in my chest hair. Tom's relentless, unhurried strokes continued as I screamed over and over that I was cumming and my arsehole clamped on his thickness.

As the waves of pleasure subsided I wriggled a little in discomfort as he continued to long dick me, but then he slammed deep inside, holding himself rigid as he came.

'God!'

I felt the waves of his orgasm pass over him as he dug his nails into my legs and his cock pressed painfully somewhere deep in my belly.

Gradually his grip loosened and he pulled his cock back. Exhausted, he rested his weight on top of me and I was glad to feel it. I reached down and felt at my arse where we were joined. His thickness had turned the lips of my anus outward, and I traced round them, awed by our connection, how it could feel to have a man inside my body. As he shifted, cum leaked out of me. I brought my fingers to my lips and Tom watched me lick them clean then kissed me deeply. I could strongly smell cum, lube and my arse as our fluids mingled, passing between our mouths.

Tom started to move off me, and I clamped down on him hard.

'No. Don't. Not yet. Don't take it out of me yet.'

He smiled at me, and kissed me again. As his cock softened I milked it inside my arse. Just for now, it was all mine and I wanted to keep it in my belly, where it belonged.

If you've enjoyed this story, let me know. If it's made you cum send me an email and tell me about it. Tell me what your favourite (and not so favourite) bits were. I love hearing people's reactions to my stories. I love hearing about their fantasies. I reply to everyone who makes the effort to get in touch. Don't be shy...

This is the end of the story Anal Awakenings. I'm going to take a break from these characters for a while: I'm planning some shorter pieces featuring different scenarios, but who knows, I may come back to Tim, Emma, Tom and Jude sometime.