Dilemma Day
Warning! The following story is a work of fiction and contains scenes descriptive of sexual encounters and contact between consenting adults. If you are not of legal age to read stories of this nature or you are offended by the subject matter contained herein do not read any further.
Anal Awakening: Dilemma Day
As the sun broke over the eastern horizon of the city there was a slight chill to the air, but I knew by midday that it would be another hot and humid day in the Southeast. No other cars were in the drive-inn parking lot except mine; however, as I looked around I noticed vehicular traffic on the streets starting to pickup a bit. Ian and I had been sitting in the car talking since well after midnight**, now Sunday morning was dawning upon us. A couple times throughout the early morning hours local police cruisers came through the parking area and drive-thru, but I suspect that was more for coffee runs than to check us out. Because the parking lot was in lighted public area I was sure the twenty-four hours drive-inn monitored the area with video cameras, so Ian and I made no attempt at any physical contact. We just sat lazily talking about what had transpired earlier and possibilities of our future. Although we hadn't spoken on the drive back from the lake after our intimate encounter I thought that maybe the drive back to the city had been time for reflecting, processing emotions.**
I had been overcome by the passion Ian showed earlier at the lake. Not only had he taken me by surprise with his aggressive sexual overtures he wasted no time getting a taste of me, something for which I wasn't prepared, however something I was ready to carry to the next level. I would have been thrilled to have Ian take me anally at the lake, but then for some reason he backed off after we ejaculated all over the fronts of each other. Once we creamed each other's abdomens he began to cool towards me. When we stopped at the drive-inn and began engaging in dialogue about where we were headed Ian began pressing me about Jason. Jared seemed to have let that cat out of the bag. I lied to Ian about Jason, telling him that nothing sexual happened between us. Ian seemed to accept my story; however, he indicated to me that if we were to continue our relationship he wanted it to be monogamous one, as he was not prepared to share me with another.
Throughout the early morning conversation Ian made it clear that he was desirous of me, but he would not tolerate a feral cat in his life. He wanted me to know that he was not interested in anything except a monogamous relationship. He went on to say that casual hand jobs were one thing, but anal sex, as far as he was concerned, was sacred and serious business, the ultimate lovemaking act between two consenting adult men. The Scot came across deadly serious about the direction in which a relationship with him would go.
There was no question in Ian's mind exactly where he stood as far as any further relationship between us. My perception was that Ian was far deeper into the same-sex male relationships thing than me. I sensed that he surely had much more experience in the area sexual relations than I did. We pointedly asked each other about any types of sexually transmitted diseases in our past or present. We assured each other that neither of us was infected and discussed the value of safe sex. Needless to say, the conversation was becoming deep, leading and very revealing. I suspected that Ian was definitely interested in a meaningful long-term relationship, but was I? I was just being exposed to this new side of life. For the first time in my life I just wanted to experiment sexually before committing to any long-term liaison. I think Ian had already experimented in Scotland and was now looking for the security of a long-term lover in America**. I was beginning to get a sinking feeling in my stomach Ian and I were not going to make it. I didn't want to lose Ian as a friend or lover, but I wasn't ready to be tied down.**
As the sun rose I ask Ian, "You want to go get some coffee or head back to my apartment?"
"Let's go get coffee. There's a little Korean doughnut and coffee shop in the neighborhood where my uncle lives. It should be open," Ian said.
"Cool, you give me directions," I said as I fired up the Mustang.
"It's in that little strip mall where you turn down the street to my uncle's," Ian directed.
The doughnut shop was not hard to find. I pulled the Mustang up in front of the shop and parked it. Then we went inside and ordered two coffees and two doughnuts. We sat at a table by the window where I could watch my car. Once we finished our coffee and doughnut Ian asked, "Will you drop me off at my uncle's?"
"Sure. Don't you want to go with me to my parent's house to watch the races?" I asked.
"I don't think so I need some time alone to think things through and sort things out," Ian said.
We left the coffee shop driving the short distance to Ian's uncles. I stopped in front of the house. Ian got out of the car and gently closed the door. There was a tear in my eye as I asked, "So, when am I going to see you again?"
"I don't know I'll call you next week. We'll see where thing stand then," Ian said.
I bid Ian a tearful goodbye; whereas, I really wanted him to go with me to my apartment where we could make love. The handsome dark haired Scot walked away from the car up the driveway turning back about half way up he blew me a slight kiss. With a tear in my eye I cranked up the powerful Mustang pulling away from the curb heading towards my apartment complex. I needed to get to my apartment for a much needed shower and a couple hours sleep before brunch at my parent's house where I'd watch races on television with my Dad as well as other family and friends. Sundays at our house was church and family day for my family and had been every since I could remember. Sunday was a time of gathering, socializing, and reuniting as a family unit.
Sunday at the McGowan house was a time to reinforce religion and family values. Mom and her mother would go to church representing our family this morning. The men folk would be excused to watch the races on television. I had my favorite Indianapolis Racing League drivers. Marco Andretti and A.J Foyt IV were two up and coming young and very handsome race car drivers in the IRL that had caught my eye. I felt that Andretti Green Racing had a chance for victory today. Marco, Dario Franchetti, the Scotsman, or the very beautiful Danica Patrick all had a good chance of winning the race. Dad and I were big race fans; he had taken me to the Indy 500 and the Daytona 500 many times before when I was younger.
We enjoyed going to races together, but those were rare occasion of late because of Dad's work schedule and opening the new dealership had taken priority in his life. I opened the door to my apartment heading straight to the bedroom. There sprawled out on my bed was Phil fast asleep. I flopped down on the bed beside him. He didn't even flinch. No sooner had I closed my eyes than the phone began ringing waking me up. I dashed to the living room to answer it. Dad was on the other end telling me that the race would start in about an hour that I'd better hurry up and get over if I wanted to see the start and wanted a fresh doughnut.
Today I knew I was going to pick up a couple pounds eating pastry and other calorie rich food. I hung up the phone and scurried into the bathroom for my shower. As I stood under the warm water cascading down my back I admired my body while my mind began reflecting back on the past week and all that had transpired – a pretty full week all in all. I thought to myself, a week ago I couldn't get fucked or sucked off if my life depended on it. In the past week I'd been proposition more times than a sailor on shore leave, receiving two blowjobs from two different guys and given one back within the past twenty-four hours. Phil and I had played the frottage game, butt crack masturbation. I had four guys pursuing me who were sexually attracted to me in one way or the other. Two of them I felt that wanted to begin some type relationship. Phil was more of a user and I hadn't figured Jared out yet. I finished my shower, dried off and shaved.
Once back in the bedroom I tried to wake Phil to see if he wanted to go with me to watch the races. He mumbled that he'd see me later in the day at my parent's. I dressed and headed to the parking area. When I leased my apartment I was assigned a covered parking stall that I had never used during the past ten months until this morning. Today the Mustang sat in that stall with the top down. I stood there for a couple of minutes admiring my new pony. Who ever owned it before had taken good care of it; there wasn't a blemish on the car and it purred like a domestic house cat. I got in, started it up, backed out and headed toward the race day rendezvous with my Dad for a full day of watching racing. This Sunday was a racing doubleheader. We'd watch the Indy 500 in the morning while we ate doughnuts and drank coffee, and then in the afternoon we'd view the Coca-Cola 600 NASCAR race from Charlotte, North Carolina as we cleaned up all the leftovers from Saturday's party.
I totally enjoyed watching the young guns of NASCAR at racing events and since the first time I had seen him I had a crush on Kasey Kahne the 26 years old driver of the number 9 Dodge. Kasey appeared much younger looking than his age. My head had been filled with more than one dream about him and me in bed together making love. Of course, I'd had dreams about other young drivers too, but Kasey was the one who appeared most frequently in my dreams. I'd always thought of myself as a normal red blooded heterosexual boy, but lately I wasn't sure of my sexual orientation. I had been brought up to believe that homosexuality was wrong; however, I couldn't understand why something was wrong that brought me so much pleasure.
In the past week and more so in the last forty-eight hours I'd come to realize that I had strong emotional feelings for and was sexually attracted to both Jason and Ian. Roseanne and I had become a very distant couple since I first began pressuring her to have sex a while back. I wondered if she might be a lesbian, or was it just that strict Catholic upbringing. I knew one thing for sure I thirst for sex and it seemed to me that sex with boys was going to happen sooner than sex with any girl. Suddenly, a car pulled out in front of me. I slammed on the brakes narrowly missing the other car. I yelled obscenely at the driver, calling him all the names that disparaged his family lineage. I thought to myself, now that I was driving I was going to have to be more attentive, aware of other drivers. I remember my Dad saying the same thing to me years ago before I got my drivers license.
Dad let me get my drivers license at sixteen like most young people, but refused to let me have a car or drive to school and run around with friends. At first I hated him for not letting me drive when other teens were driving, but later realized that it was probably the best thing he ever did for me. Many of my friends had cars however some of them got into trouble with their vehicles. Two boys I'd grown up with had been killed while drinking and driving. Dad and Mom let me drive when we went out together, but they wouldn't let me take their car out by myself until I was a senior in high school. Consequently, I managed to graduate in the top ten percent of my class and received a scholarship to college. Although the scholarship was a modest amount it covered tuition and books.
With books and tuition paid for, my Dad paying the rent on my apartment and buying me a car, my Mom, Grandmother, and other relatives slipping me cash every now and then I was in pretty good shape financially. In high school I worked during the summer and some weekends for my Dad detailing used cars. That job now had been passed down to my younger brother Jerry as it had been passed down to me from my older brother. I also did my fair share of the chores around the house never complaining about anything. That too had now been passed down to my younger brothers. So, I guess I could understand how proud my parent's were of me and why Dad was motivated to gift me a new car. Well, not new, but new to me. Presently, my only concern was what if Dad found out about me having a romantic affair with a boy? I didn't know how he or Mom would react to that type news.
Would I lose my apartment and car? Would they disown me? These were some of the questions that bothered me about entering into a same-sex engagement with another boy. One of my friends at church was forced to leave high school when he was discovered engaging in sexual relations with another boy in one of the school lavatories. Another boy's Mom discovered her son and another boy engaging in mutual oral copulation during a sleep over one night when they were fifteen. The mother freaked out calling the police. Both boys were taken to police headquarters, interrogated, and charged with some bullshit crime. Of course, all of those events made the newspaper and television. The boys caught by the mother ended up committing suicide together, and then so did the mother who turned her son in. I'd always thought it was so tragic. Of course, there were funerals that followed covered by the media. People in the town wanted the one boy's parent's to move out of town. Needless to say the whole ugly situation affected me negatively. The police began sending investigators and counselor into our school to question boys during our gym and health classes about other boys touching them inappropriately, what a witch hunt.
Although I wanted desperately to experiment sexually with other boys during my middle and high school years, after that fucking scenario I wasn't about to approach any boy about having sex. A couple times during my school years I thought that boys were attempting to lure me into experiment sexually, I blew them off immediately. Hell, Phil and I didn't engage in mutual masturbation until after we graduated from high school. I felt that was only because he wasn't getting any pussy and was horny like me. I just dreamed and fantasized about different sexual scenarios experimenting with boys while secretly I hammered my meat nightly and every morning in the shower. I'm sure that I probably overreacted, but I didn't want to get caught as those other boy had and bring disgrace to my family. My family means more to me than anything. I finally arrived at my parent's house, pulling the car into the big circular drive in front of the house parking in one of the empty slots.
I got out of the Mustang staring at the big old white house, admiring its extended portico front porch. The structure consisted of a roof supported by eight carved white columns. Then there was another roof that came off the portico supported by pillars covering the driveway. The portico and driveway cover had been built by my Dad's father so that guests wouldn't get wet when they arrived. The old house was an architectural work of art. Dad inherited the two story five bedroom house before I was born when my grandfather passed away unexpectedly. Dad moved into the house to care for grandmother who was terminally ill after his Dad's death; however, she passed away two years later. So, the big old mansion was the only house I had lived in for the past nineteen years.
Dad also inherited the Lincoln Mercury dealership when his Dad passed away and had expanded it immensely over the past decade. Dad was the one who had the pool put in the backyard and elaborate deck built onto the back of the house. He had also done many other upgrades to our house over the years. Our family was very prominent in the community, so I had to and still have to watch myself and all my actions. I would never do anything to disrespect the memory of my grandparents or parent's legacy. I have to be very careful with every aspect of my life. I'm expected to graduate from college with honors and assume a position of leadership in the family business. Of course, that means I should marry a lady of outstanding character and stature; a fertile woman who would bear grandchildren. That's my dilemma at this juncture in my young life.
The predicament that I faced was, I wasn't sure I wanted a woman, marriage or children; however, I was sure my parent's would frown upon me bringing a boy into the family mix, introducing him as my lover, my domestic life partner. Why does life have to be so fucked up? Why should we have to hide our feelings? These and many other questions had been nagging at me every since I entered college and began living by myself, especially since I took the sex education class the second semester. The later portion of the class was designed and devoted to give a better understanding of gay and lesbian issues. Needless to say I was one frustrated teenager. I'm sure all other teenagers were experiencing some of the same feeling that I was, including Phil, Jason, and Ian. Jared was the only one who I felt had things under control. I wanted to have a sit down with Jared to confide in him about my feelings and find out how he dealt with coming out as a gay man. How he approached his parent's, but that would be later on. Today was designated family day for watching races on television with my Dad and other family members.
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