AN EPIPHANY, Chapter 1 BY WILLIEJESS
Of course this is not my real name but only that of my pen and writing. This story is an awakening for both Juan and myself, Thomas. It is an all too familiar true story with the names of the persons involved changed to protect the loving intimacy between the two. It all started with an email I received from an internet dating service, which stated that a certain Juan has sent me an email. Of course I was curious since I knew no such person. Upon opening the message, he stated that he viewed my profile on the dating service, and wanted me to telephone him if I was interest in making eye to eye contact. Fortunately we both lived in the same rural community, and the time was set for him to come to my home after his work day was completed.
He was handsome and strong looking yet had a gentle bearing. We both engaged in the usual introductory small talk, and then started to get into our personal lives. I asked him what he expected of our first time encounter, and his facial expression changed from the upbeat, hopeful one to a sense of being laid open to a sort of confession. He informed me that what he wrote in his profile was not altogether true, and questioned me if what he would divulge to me would remain forever a secret between the two of us. Immediately I felt the need to reach out to him with a kiss on his cheek, assuring him that anything said between us would only be known to ourselves and God. He truly felt vulnerable, but upon hearing the name of God, he looked into my eyes and recognized in my soul the presence of God. He was quick to associate the Jess in my name with that of Jesus. And so, with a sense of calm, he informed me that he was not single but married, and being the father of four children. His eyes became teary, and holding his crotch, he looked at me saying that he really wanted to engage in oral sex. He did not fully understand what was happening to him, and why he would even consider such a request since he was committed to his wife and family. He went on to say that for two years he harbored such sexual fantasies, but was ashamed to admit it to anyone, let alone know whom he could approach to bring his fantasy to reality. He was even ashamed to approach his wife for a legitimate sexual request and preference since throughout their married lives, their sex had been very conservative and you might say, fulfilling traditional cultural roles. Juan expressed his full commitment to his wife and family but at the same time, he had personal sexual feelings and needs not being fulfilled. Neither did he want to play the blame game. He was truly in the belief that his wife loved him to the best of her ability, although she did not know the unique desires of a man. Juan himself barely understood these desires even though he felt them deeply in his loins. The "normal" way for sexual expression in his marriage did not go deep enough. Juan also recognized his lack of communication skills, and so he wasn't placing any blame on anyone except himself. What he could do was to seek the fulfillment of his sexual desires in manly love or sexual expression with another man. He felt that a man would understand another man's needs.
I suppose all of us expose ourselves at one point or another even though this leaves us vulnerable, and subject to hurt, scorn or even rejection. We crawl up into our fetal position, hoping for some sort of miracle to happen which would make us become acceptable. I truly have to say that my heart cried along with his, and so I sat close to him, also putting my hand over his at his crotch. Looking at his kind eyes, I also shared that this fantasy of his was also mine. Of course I was not married, and shared with Juan a brief sketch of my life. Like his, my life followed traditional cultural roles and I lived according to what was expected of me both in private life as well as in my career. I briefly shared with him my going through a sexual identity change in my later years, and in particular, during my retirement. I let Juan know that I finally reconciled with myself and God that I am gay. In fact, Juan was the first person to whom I came out. I further went on to tell Juan that God accepts me for who I am, and in fact, that sex is a special gift given by God, no matter what is the orientation of our personal human lives. It all made sense to him, even though he couldn't express it to himself in his mind and heart. Juan felt drawn to me, and hesitantly asked if I wanted to do it. Sitting next to me is a straight heterosexual man, obviously entertaining sexual fantasies, and perhaps questioning his orientation. I nodded in compliance to him while my hands found his belt and pants zipper.
Juan lifted his bottom so that I could slide his pants and underwear down to his knees. Before me is a beautiful thick cock, along with a nice foreskin. I leaned down into him, softly pulled back his skin, and kissed the head. Here I was holding a creation of God, and the very physical essence of the most personal part of Juan's body. I kissed again, thanking God for such a gift.
Without any prior experience, I opened my mouth and allowed his cock to slide in as I lowered my head all the way down into his pubic hair. I saw enough of internet porn to know what to do, especially covering my teeth with my lips. His smell was intoxicating, a faint sweat aroma along with his maleness. I was beside myself, and felt the cock swell to full erection in my mouth, yet I still took him all the way deep into the back of my throat. I slowly slid upwards along his shaft, with my saliva filling my mouth and mixing with his copious precum. Juan was now beginning to become sexually aroused and making little mewing sounds which joined in with my slurping noise. I changed from my sitting position to knell down in front of and between his legs after first sliding his clothes completely off his legs. I resumed sucking his cock while one hand started to slide underneath his buttock. My other hand gently caressed his balls, and reaching further back to and along the cord of his perineum. Juan started to raise himself off the seat of the sofa, lifting himself with his feet. I couldn't see him because I was so engaged in sucking his cock and feeling all around him. My fingers started to encroach into his ass crack, making quick passes over his hole. I could feel his slight greasy sweet-smelling sweat, but made no attempt to penetrate. My own cock started to really cause me some discomfort, and so I quickly removed my hands to open and slide down my own clothing, without so much as skipping a beat in my bobbing up and down motion nor in my sucking action. I was so lost into the new experience of exhilarating sex.
It's strange, as much as I became aroused and leaking precum, I did not want to engage in self gratification but was only interested in bringing Juan to his sexual fulfillment and joy. He was the important focus in my heart and mind. It was a combination of Juan starting to make heavy panting noises and having his body stiffen up which signaled to me his approaching climax. I then started to wrap my fingers around his lower shaft, and masturbate him while continuing my sucking action. My other hand started to caress his balls, darting out once in a while to his ass hole, and lightly passing over his hair-covered scrotum. Only once did I let go of his cock and started to suck on each of his balls. When the scrotum started to shrink and bring up his testicles, my mouth quickly resumed sucking in his cock head, rimming the crown and nerve bundle under the head with a very wet tongue. Here I thought his penis was fully erected, but then all of a sudden, the entire shaft became hard as a nail, his cock head swelled even more, and I was rewarded with four wonderful blasts of his semen. I cherished such a wonderful gift, and swallowed the strange-tasting cum, allowing his cock to remain in my mouth without any further bobbing up and down. I could taste the after cum as it slowly came out as a gentle rope.
Juan slowly came down from his orgasmic high while I let go and became separated from his cock. I saw the smile of a contented man brought to a sexual bliss. Getting up, I sat down tightly next to him, and whispered as genuine a thanks as my heart could express, giving Juan a gentle kiss on his lips. I also thanked God for such a wonderful gift and joy. Juan placed his left arm around me, bringing me ever so close to him. I was content to just snuggle up to him, but my left hand started to find its way to my own cock. Soon I was slowly masturbating myself while Juan reached over with his right hand to cup his fingers around my balls. But, after only a few strokes, I turned to Juan and said:
"This can wait; I will have an intimate moment with God when falling asleep tonight, but today, it's all for you Juan."
It was then that I informed Juan my first time ever experience in oral sex, and thanked him for making the initial contact and coming over. I didn't know what to expect initially, and simply opened myself to whatever would naturally take place. I am now more accepting that whatever happens in our lives is permitted by God for some greater good.
Juan dressed himself as I also put back my clothing. We both sat in the quiet presence and after-glow of each other, and finally, Juan turned to me saying: "If you were not comfortable with what just now happened, and isn't what you were looking for in the dating service, I can understand, and will respect your choice. I just want to say how happy you made me, and the sex was truly wonderful."
I responded by telling Juan that I have no regrets, but that we both need to understand that he is a married man with family responsibilities. Also that his marriage affects me as it does him, so that we both share in his marriage, not in any way meaning that I have any claim or desires for his wife. Instead, it is as much my responsibility to preserve the commitment of his marital status. With these final thought, Juan hugged me, and went home to his family. For my part, I had a nice long conversation with God that night, and fell asleep in his arms with a nice wet cock. After all, no matter what is our position in life, namely, single or committed, we are all engaged in a marriage relationship with our Creator.
This concludes the first chapter of Epiphany. Should you wish to make any comments or simply contact me with suggestions, please submit it to my email address at:
wjromero@peoplepc.com
Please be kind and considerate as this is my first attempt in such writing.