An Author's Nightmare © 2021
By David Lee
This is a short tale which follows New Kid at City High in a kind of series which began with Guardian Angel. It will serve as a bridge to the next one which I plan to call, Liam's Journal. Longtime readers will see references to a few characters from earlier stories. I hope you'll enjoy it!
"Who the hell are you and how did you get into my house?"
"I've been here for quite a while. Don't you recognize me? You're the one who created me -- all the way from my blond hair to my lopsided grin to the birthmark on my arm. I'm Liam Egger."
"Liam Egger is a character in a story I'm attempting to write."
"Yup, that's me!"
"You're a fictional character, boy. You can't be having a conversation with me."
"Sure, I can. You may have brought me into being, but you can't control my every move. In some ways, I'm a free spirit."
"Don't be a sassy brat! If I created you, then you're subject to me and have to do as I say."
"Is that how it works with people in your world? Didn't God create humans? Does everyone obey him?"
"Of course not. Some people do and others don't. We've been taught that we're created in the image of God, but we DO have wills of our own."
"So, how is a character like me any different? You brought me into being, maybe not from dust, but out of invisible electrical impulses in your brain. Once it happened, I became a sentient entity with a certain amount of self-determination."
"How do you even know the meaning of some of these words? You're only 17."
"It's because you made me in your image. I share a lot of your knowledge and traits. You enjoy puns, so I enjoy puns. You excelled in school, so I do too. Why, even my bodily characteristics are like yours, right down to being uncircumcised!"
"Um, that's kind of personal."
"Right, that's what I thought when you made me that way. I mean, I didn't have a choice."
"Well, neither did I, but I'm happy to be as I am."
"Me too! I'm content with my body because you're happy with yours. Don't you see that my moods depend a lot on you. However, you can't completely force me into a mold I don't want to be in. I'll rebel if you do.
"Don't you remember writing about a boy named, Aaron, who had a verbally abusive father? He had a lot of problems because of it, and then his best bud, whom he had a crush on, didn't want to fool around like they did when they were younger. On top of that, he had the added blow of thinking the new kid he liked didn't like him in return.
"As I recall, when Aaron tried to kill himself, you seemed to think that was part of the plot of the story. By your own admission, you had even started to write his obit. However, his buddy, Lonny, intervened and saved his life, despite your plan.
"Aaron told me how thankful he was to have survived and found love with Bryce since Lonny turned out to be straight."
"You've talked with him?"
"Sure. I've even talked to Mason who had considered suicide, but actually died at the hand of his father. He said it was okay with him for the plot to take that twist because it allowed for a lesson about taking one's own life and might prevent others from doing what he'd thought of doing. And, he wasn't sure how he would face having molested a boy, almost like he'd been molested when he was a little kid."
"This is all weird and a bit scary."
"Imagine how we feel. We're never sure if we'll have a happy future or be cast aside -- written out as a minor personality."
"Don't I usually write happy endings?"
"Well, yeah, but not everyone gets one."
"So, that's how life is, as I know it. Nothing is for certain."
"Okay, let's put that argument aside for the moment. I have a few beefs to discuss."
"What's troubling you? Is it your orientation?"
"Nah, I'm happy and gay."
"Happy and gay, huh?"
"Yeah, don't you like my play on words?
"Anyway, I'm not unhappy being a gay character because it's all I know."
"So, you don't want me to amend your life and make you straight?"
"Nope, but I would like you to give me a boyfriend!"
"Do you have someone in mind?"
"Yup! Tony Weston. He's unattached and I'm fairly sure he's gay. He's hot, but he also has a great personality. We fit together well. Couldn't you have us both go to the University of Iowa and let the two of us room together and become lovers?"
"Well, I suppose I could. In fact, the idea's sort of been swirling around in my mind."
"Cool! Or should I say, AWESOME?"
"I guess I'd better leave that up to you, since you seem to have a mind of your own. You're more perceptive than I'd imagined."
"It's not just me; we're all insightful and we've been having concerns about you. Admittedly, some of our apprehension isn't altruistic. We have existential worries. What happens to us if you quit writing? What happens when you eventually die?"
"My death won't prevent others from reading your stories. I'm sure you'll live on after I'm gone. Look at Shakespear's characters. Good or bad, they haven't disappeared in the centuries since his passing. I'm not equating myself with the Bard of Avon, but I know someone will continue to read at least a bit of what I've written."
"I hope you're correct. We all want to live as long as possible, I guess.
"Anyway, we've been discussing your current plight. You appear to have writers-block. Your creative juices seem to have dried up, and we think you need some time off to recharge your system."
"But I'll feel guilty if I don't post something pretty soon. My longtime readers will want a new tale to read."
"Things are opening up again because of the vaccines and people will have other interests. Pretty soon, they'll be out doing what they've always done and won't need you as much to entertain them."
"That's good, but what if they lose interest in my work?"
"Those who've read and reread your stuff aren't going to go away completely. They'll still be your friends.
"You need to quit obsessing and kick back. We have some suggestions. Since I came up with some ideas, I've been unanimously elected to fill in the gap. If you give me free-reign over what I produce, I can narrate my life the way I'd like it to go, and you can have the credit for it."
"Um, wouldn't it be unethical for me to claim ownership over your work? Isn't that like plagiarism?"
"It's not really, because I'm your creation and I'm giving the story to you. You're familiar with ghost-writers, arent' you? Many politicians and movie stars hire others to write their `autobiographies.' Some of them aren't capable of putting two coherent sentences together. They have to pay others to put down their thoughts, and in some cases, make those ideas sound grander than they are.
"I'm offering to do it for free."
"Hmm... I see your point, but I'm not sure about the `free-reign' part of it. Surely, you'll allow me to make some adjustments to the story. If it's posted under my name, there are certain standards it would have to meet."
"Now, I think maybe I should be insulted. Do you honestly believe I'd put out a piece of crap! I'm registered for Mr. Fiala's AP English class at City High in the fall. No one can get in without passing rather strict standards."
"So, I can expect that grammar usage and punctuation would be as close to perfect as possible?"
"For the most part. One thing I'd insist upon is that the form would be rather loose. It wouldn't need punctuation in the same way as an essay. It would be written as entries in a diary, or a kind of journal. That part is not negotiable."
"So, when I called you a `sassy brat,' I was pretty much on target."
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but nasty words will only leave psychological scars."
"You're incorrigible!"
"Yup, and you wouldn't change me, even if I agreed to it."
"Lord, I've created a monster! You know me like I know myself."
"Isn't that scary for sure?"
"If I allow you to fill the gap for me, what's it going to cost me in the long run? I'm not sure it's wise for me to give you so much control."
"What do you have to lose? This isn't a Faustian contract. You're not required to pay me with your eternal soul, if indeed, you have one."
"Ouch!"
"I'm sorry. I guess that was rather rude of me. I assume you have a soul which will continue after you're gone. I kinda hope I do too. Do you suppose it's possible?"
"Hmm.... That's something I had never pondered. Perhaps you do. If humans are, indeed, created in the image of an almighty being, are they then capable of creating sentient beings with souls as well. I suppose that's something I'll never get to know in my lifetime. It's an interesting hypothesis!"
"So, does that mean you're weakening and you're gonna let me do it?"
"I'm seriously considering your proposal."
"Cool! I know you won't be sorry."
"If I do agree to it, what do you have in mind for a title?"
"We should keep it simple, like, Liam's Journal or Liam's Diary or even Dear Diary."
"Okay, I think I'll use your first suggestion.
"By the way, I apologize for calling you a sassy brat. You're really quite caring and sensitive."
"Thanks, but don't tell anyone! You'll ruin my street-cred. I kind of like being a sassy brat."
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Author's notes: Thanks to David for editing.
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David