This story is fiction. Any similarities with peoples living or dead are purely coincidence. Please navigate away from this page if it is against the law in your country to view this material. Moreover do not read if you are under the age of majority in your country, state or province. Please do not copy without permission.
Hey Guys! So here is chapter 8. I really hope you like this chapter because I really enjoyed writing it. Here are the links to the songs. Maria Mena 'Sorry' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QS5lJOvtqR4 Sade 'By Your Side' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8QJmI_V3j4
Enjoy the chapter!
"...the boy has it bad for you. He just doesn't know it yet."
If what Eric said was true, then all those times I thought Colby was flirting with me he actually was, he just didn't know it. I walked back into the living room with Eric, my stomach was a jumble of butterflies. It was a complete disaster of good and nervous butterflies. I wanted to puke. Of course, Colby being so protective of me he noticed right away.
"Oliver, is something wrong? Eric didn't hurt you did he?" he said, his eyes suddenly filled with rage, ready to pounce on his brother. Eric just sorta giggled.
"No no, I don't know. I just suddenly feel sick. Maybe it's a stomach flu." I lied to him. "Maybe I should go lie down."
"Yeah," he said as his eyes softened "come, I'll take you to my room." Eric definitely knew why I suddenly felt sick and whispered to Brock who had a worried look on his face. Of course that worried look was replaced with a smile once Eric finished telling him what I can only guess was what he and I had talked about.
"It's ok, I can go by myself."
"No, you're my guest so it's my responsibility to take care of you. And not only that, I genuinely worry about you." geez what a smooth talker. I just nodded getting lost in his eyes. That only made the butterflies worse as they started fluttering around at a fevered pitch. "Come." he said putting his arm around my shoulder, leading me to the staircase. I could still walk, but I wasn't about to tell him otherwise.
We reached his bedroom, which I can say was more of a suite than a teenager's bedroom. He had a large queen-sized bed that looked overly stuffed but comfortable at the same time. The room was a lot different from the rest of the house. While the house was decorated in a more French chateau style, his bedroom was more modern and contemporary with sleek lines and cool grey colours. He walked over to bed and started turn it down. Who knew a bed could have so many throw pillows? When he was done, he walked over to our bags and pulled out my onesie. I noticed a hint of a smile when he did this.
"Here." he said handing me my onesie. He went back to his bag and pulled his out onesie. I wasn't even thinking about being nervous changing around Colby. We both finished changing. "Come on, let's get you to bed." he said grabbing my hand and leading me to the bed. We both got into bed and got comfortable. I didn't know why I was so nervous around him. He didn't even know how I felt about him.
"You don't have to stay with me. I don't want you to be bored." I said turning towards him.
"You couldn't bore me, Oliver." he said almost dreamily. "I want to be here with you anyway. Why else do you think I invited you?"
"I thought I was your personal 'feeder' while you drove." I teased.
"Of course not. I invited you because I really enjoy your company. Do you know how bored I would be if you weren't here. I don't know what it is, but I just want to spend all my time with you. I'm crazy, I know but it's the truth." he said scooting closer to me. He reached his arm over and invited me into his body. His arms quickly enveloped me and even more quickly made my nerves disappear. His sweet Burberry cologne quickly invaded my senses as I fell deeper into his embrace. The light dusting of hair on his arms tickled across my nape as he rubbed my back. "I hope you're feeling better by tomorrow. I really want you to enjoy your time here."
"Mhmm." I mumbled. He was slowly lulling me to sleep. I was already feeling better. More and more my eyes got heavy, my body relaxed and my mind gave way to dreamland.
~~<>~~
The next morning I woke up in the same position, with Colby's arms wrapped around me. His breath softly caressed my forehead as his chest slowly rose and fell. For me, everything was different. Everything. Last nights revelation simplified the situation, but at the same time, made it that much more complicated. I know, complete oxymoron, but that's exactly how it felt. My breathing hitched when his lips touched my face.
"Sorry." he said huskily. Can you say sexy?
"It's ok." He smiled at me.
"Did you sleep well? You feeling better?"
"Yeah. Thanks to you." he gave me a questioning look. "Well when I was younger, my mom and dad would snuggle up in bed with me when I was sick. Every time they did that, I would feel better the next morning."
"I'm glad I could make you feel better. Now come on. Let's go make breakfast." he said getting up. I followed suit, putting on some running shorts over my onesie. Well his parents might be home and I didn't want them to see the outline of my dick. We headed downstairs and sure enough, two people who I hadn't met yet were sitting in the breakfast nook.
"Colby!" a lady about my height said as she came up and hugged Colby. Obviously she was his mother. They had the same chocolate brown hair and the same shaped eyes. Hers were brown though. "How are you baby?"
"I'm good. How are you?"
"I'm well."
"Hey Colbs." his dad said. Colbs...that's new.
"Hey dad."
"How's school son?"
"It's great. Oh mom, dad, this is my best friend Oliver, Oliver this is my mom Jacqueline or Jackie and this is my dad Byron.
"Great to finally meet you Oliver!" his mom said. I shook both their hands.
"Yeah. Colby has been emailing back and forth with us and honestly, about 75% of the time he's talking about you." his dad said with a chuckle. Okay, so maybe they weren't the stone faced professionals I thought they'd be. They really seemed like normal parents and I could see that Colby really was happy to see them. I turned to look at him and he was blushing. Probably from his dad telling me about the emails.
"It's great to finally meet you too." I said as the other boys came down. We had a great breakfast. For most of the day we just lounged around and shot the shit. His mom recruited us boys to help her shine the silverware as they called it. We sat in the dining room doing that as she decorated it for the dinner tomorrow. The cousins just bantered back and forth, not leaving Ozzie and I out of it. When she was done, I can honestly say that I've never seen a table look so spectacular. You'd think you were watching an episode of Martha Stewart Living because the table looked that great.
"Wow! The table looks amazing Dr. Andrews." I said as the other boys chuckled.
"Hey now. Don't laugh at him. At least he can appreciate my hard work." she joked. "And please Oliver, call me Jackie. I think the 'Dr.' title is too snooty." Dinner time rolled around, and since the dinning table was set for tomorrows dinner, we all just stood around the counter and ate. I really was enjoying myself. Colby's family reminded me a lot of my own.
"So who is coming to dinner tomorrow?" Eric asked.
"Well, William and his family were supposed to fly out this morning to Philadelphia but he has a really important surgery the day after tomorrow. So they decided to just stay in town and celebrate with us." she said as Colby almost choked.
"W-why didn't Nancy and Beth just go to Philly?" Colby sputtered out.
"They wanted to spend Thanksgiving as a family and I told Beth that you'd be in town. I was a bit surprised when she told me she had no idea you were coming down." I was becoming more and more curious as to who this Beth person was. And why would Jackie be surprised that Colby didn't tell her.
"I guess it just slipped my mind." he said looking down at his plate. I looked over at him, but he wouldn't meet my eyes. Something was definitely awry. I switched my gaze over to Eric across the counter and he just sighed. After dinner, Colby quickly excused himself and left me with Eric and the boys. Eric pulled me aside.
"He didn't tell you about Beth did he. And from the looks of it, he hasn't done it yet."
"Done what?" I asked.
"I think you should talk to him about it."
"Beth is his girlfriend isn't she?" I said shakily. He didn't respond. I turned away from him and slowly headed upstairs. Where was I supposed to go? I would've given anything to be anywhere but here. My supposed best friend lied to me. Well he didn't really lie to me, just chose not to tell me about Beth. He chose not to tell me something that important. I walked into his room and closed the door. The silence echoed with the force of a thousand thunderstorms. He just looked out the window, saying nothing. I didn't know what to say either.
I quickly got changed and got into bed. I wanted to cry but I just felt so numb. He had a girlfriend and he didn't tell me. I felt the bed shift as he got in.
"I'm sorry Oliver. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Beth."
"You should have told me. I thought I was you best friend." I sort of sobbed out. Man did hurt to say that. He tried to scoot over to hold me but I stopped him. "No. It doesn't feel right Colby, you have a girlfriend. I wouldn't want my boyfriend holding someone else in bed."
"You're not just someone else Oliver, you're my best friend. And she's not my girlfriend. I broke up with her before I left for school but she still thinks there's a chance. I guess I didn't tell you about her because she doesn't matter."
"What do you mean she doesn't matter?"
"Because she didn't make me happy...like you do. Our relationship was over before I even left for school. I don't talk about her because when I'm with you, all I can think about is you. It's like everything else disappears and It's just you and I. God Oliver don't you realize what you do to me? I've never felt this way about anyone before I met you." He paused as if waiting for my to say something.
"Oliver. Look at me please." he said pulling on my shoulder. I turned to face him. My cheeks were stained with tears. "You're like a brother to me. And I love you very much. I'm not gonna let anyone, let alone a girl that I have no feelings for get between. You understand?" I nodded my head.
"I love you too." I said back. But it was different this time. I didn't just say it like you would a brother or a friend. I said it the way you would someone you were in love with.
"I love you too bro." he said pulling me into him.
"No, you don't understand. I'm in love with you, for Christ's sake I'm in love with you! And I'm scared Colby." I said pausing, trying to read his eyes. He just laid there, watching me intently, waiting for me to finish. "I'm scared because I don't know how much more I can take of this." Worry flashed through his eyes.
"What do you mean? Oliver I promise this changes nothing." he said reassuringly rubbing my arm.
"Being around makes me feel so great. I'm so happy when you and I are hanging out. We could be watching paint dry and I would have a good time because I would be doing it with you. At the same time though, It's torture. Knowing that I can't have you and knowing that there is no chance kills me. It kills me Colby. And I don't know how much of this torture I can take." I reiterated. My voice was shaky and my body trembled as I told him this. My eyes flowed tears like a faucet.
"And today, when I found out about Beth. I swear that nearly killed me. And even though you two aren't together, it still hurts to know that she got to know a side of you that I never will. I'm scared because I think the only solution to get over you is to limit my time with you. And I don't want to do that because I'm afraid we'll drift apart."
"Please Oliver, no. I need you. You're my best friend and I don't think I can get through the rest of the year without you. Please. At least think it through. I'm sorry I can't return the feeling you have for me. I would give anything to give you what you want but I can't." I sobbed as he said this and he pulled me in. He didn't realize how torturous this was but I let him do it anyway. I'd let him do anything. "Just promise me you'll think about it." I nodded silently into his chest. He gently pulled my face towards his and placed his lips upon mine. I gently wept, knowing that he would never feel what I felt from that kiss. I fell asleep once again breathing his scent in.
~~<>~~
I woke up the next morning just before the sun crested the horizon. Colby and I were still in the same position we were in when we fell asleep. I slowly and reluctantly untangled myself from him, got up and walked to my bag. I grabbed my Ipod and put my headphones in my ears. Sometimes it's good to listen to music that fit the mood at the moment. At the moment I was feeling sad knowing that the person I was in love with didn't love me back, at least not the way I wanted him to. I put on 'Sorry' by Maria Mena. I trudged to the window to greet the dawn. I rubbed my eyes and gazed out as the first guitar rifts rang through. Maria's soothing voice soon followed. This song had never carried any emotional punch to me before, but now, it couldn't have hit me any harder. The sun slowly crested the horizon as the first tear welled up in my eye and fell. My lips quivered as I took in a ragged breath. The second verse and chorus hit way too close to home and I had to choke back several sobs.
<<...I just poured my heart out. There's bit of it on the floor. And I take what's left of it and rinse it under cold water and call him up for more. And I say baby, yes I feel stupid to call you but I'm lonely, and I don't think you meant it when you said you couldn't love me, and I thought maybe if I kissed the way you do, you'd feel it too. He said I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I am sorry...>>
Last night, all my hopes of Colby loving me the way I loved him died. At that moment, I wished I never met Colby but then realized that he was the best friend I'd ever had and that I would rather be his friend than not have him in my life at all. How many times have you heard that one? The sun shone brightly and my sobs long desisted yet my eyes still flowed with tears.
I just stared out into the landscape, my mind trying to escape the harsh reality. He was never going to be mine. I was so lost in the music and the sky that I didn't notice Colby was awake until his arms snaked around my torso as he pulled me into his body. I flinched and quickly pushed him away, pulling my head phones out. The silence that followed was thunderous.
"Please, Colby. Don't." I said putting up my hand and backing up as he tried to hug me again. The hurt that echoed in his eyes could get God to pity him so I looked down at my feet. And just like that my sobs quickly returned as the reality came crashing back down. "You can't.we can't do that. It hurts Colby and every time you do that.I-I-I just can't handle it Colby." he silently nodded. I hadn't looked up when I said that but I could feel his sad eyes on me. I'm sure we both realized at that point that we would never be as close as we were before last night. There was no going back.
"W-we should get downstairs for breakfast. I'll meet you there." he said and quickly left the room. I stood there for a good minute before I even made an effort to move. I slowly walked to the washroom and splashed water on my face. I looked in the mirror and the face that looked back at me was that of a broken boy. I tried to put on a smile and figured it was convincing enough so headed downstairs.
~~<>~~
The day went by quickly. Colby and I helped his mom with some of the prep for that nights dinner. He and I joked and bantered like we used to, but it wasn't the same. We were both cautious of what we said around each other. Sometime before dinner, Eric pulled me aside once again.
"Something happened huh?" he asked.
"Yeah."
"I know we barely know each other but it's like I've know you my whole life. I've been watching the two of you today and things have changed. My brother just looks sad every time he looks at you. So what happened?"
"I told him I was in love with him." I said quietly.
"Oh. And what did he say?"
"He said he loved me, just not the same way. He said he would give everything to give me what I want but he just can't do that."
"Come here." he said hugging me. Wow these brothers are really affectionate. "He's stupid to not realize he's in love with you."
"I don't think he is." I said letting him go.
"I don't want to give you false hope Oliver but if there is anything I am sure of, it's that my brother is in love with you. Just don't give up on him. He deserves happiness and he deserves someone like you. You deserve to be happy too."
"It's torture though. Being around him hurts so much. I told him last night that I didn't think we should be such close friends. He tried to hug me this morning but I pushed him away."
"What did he do?"
"He tried to hug me again but I told him not to. I told him how much it hurt for him to do it. He just looked at me as if I told him I never wanted to see him again."
"I'm sure this is hurting him just as much as it's hurting you. He'll realize what he is pushing away. Just give him time."
"I hope you're right." I said back, but my heart just wasn't in it.
~~<>~~
Colby and I were in his room, getting dressed for dinner. I brought a pair grey dress pants and paired it with a blue dress shirt and brown wool v-neck sweater.
"Everything has changed hasn't it?" he said stopping what he was doing and walking over to me.
"I think it has. But I don't want to cry right now." I said forcing a smile when I looked up at him. "I wish we could go back to when we first met, when it was simpler. But hey," I said slapping his arm "let's talk about it later okay?"
"Okay." We finished dressing and headed back downstairs. When we got into the living room, a very beautiful blonde girl there. I could only guess her to be Beth and thought of how perfect she was for Colby. An older man and woman say beside her. They were probably her parents. Colby's father sat across from them, engaged in a pretty lively conversation. The blonde looked up when the two of walked into the room and her eyes suddenly lit up.
"Colby!" she said getting up and coming over to Colby to give him a hug. I had a sudden twinge of jealousy as his arms wrapped around her waist. Okay, so it was more like a heart attack of jealousy but whatever. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"
"I guess it slipped my mind." he said, letting her go. He turned to me and smiled shyly. "This is my best friend Oliver, Oliver this is Beth."
"Hi Beth, nice to meet you." I said reluctantly offering my hand.
"Hi Oliver! It's really great to meet you too." she said taking my hand. She was nice enough. Of course she was nice, I don't think Colby would date girls like Amanda.
"Hey everyone dinner is ready!" Jackie said walking in. We all followed her into the dinning. The other three boys came down the stairs and followed. Colby and Beth were ahead of us so they were seated first.
"Oliver," Brock said coming up behind me "why don't you sit between Eric and I?" he said usher me to a seat.
"Sure." so I did. Brock sat beside Jackie who was at one end of the table. Then came Ozzie, me, Eric, Byron at the other end of the table, then Beth, Colby and Beth's parents. My seat was right across from Colby's.
"So I hope your stay hasn't soured too much because of last nights events. Ozzie, Brock and I are really glad that Colby brought you along. Plus, I don't think Colby has been this happy since...I actually don't think he's ever been this happy." that made me look up at Colby who seemed bored but was being polite and entertaining Beth. I couldn't even hate her. She was nice.
"I'm really happy that I got to meet you guys too. I can't say that this trip is going exactly to plan, but it can always be worse right?"
"You know what? Let's have some fun. Why don't you, the two boys and I go skating on the lake after dinner. It'll be nice for you to get away from Colby for a bit since he'll probably be busy entertaining Beth." It was a good idea, but I didn't want to leave Colby unsupervised with Beth. But who was I kidding, it didn't matter what I wanted, he'd do what he wanted and with whom regardless.
"Okay, yeah! That sounds like fun. But I don't have any skates."
"Don't worry. Colby and I got new skates every year up until high school graduation so I'm sure we have your size somewhere."
"Cool. I love skating." I said, a bit more enthusiasm in my voice.
Dinner was delicious and Eric, Ozzie and Brock kept me entertained. I didn't want to ignore Colby but it kinda of seemed I was. He'd try to talk to me but I would just give him short answers and go back to the conversation I was having with the other boys. They made me forget about my situation and for that I was thankful.
~~<>~~
"Hey, why don't you go put some sweats on or something and then we'll head out to the lake." Eric said when dinner was done. The adults, Beth and Colby retired to the living room. Beth was on his arm the whole time. I looked back at Eric.
"Okay, I'll be down right away." I said heading upstairs to change. I could never wear underwear with sweats. I don't know why so don't ask. I put on my University of Manitoba sweats and sweater on, some nice woollen socks on, grabbed my jacket, toque and gloves then headed downstairs.
"Ready!" I said to the boys when I got to the bottom of the stairs.
"Okay, let's go to the garage and get you fitted with some skates." Eric said and we walked to the garage. We passed by the living room on our way. I looked in to see Colby sitting there with Beth by his side. He glanced to the side and met my eyes. He suddenly got up and walked towards us.
"Where you guys going?" he asked almost accusingly at Eric.
"We're just going for a skate bro. We were going to ask you but it seems you're busy with Beth so we didn't bother." Eric said.
"Oh okay." he said walking dejectedly back to Beth.
We got the skates and walked down to the lake. I was a little afraid the ice wouldn't be thick enough. It was only November but it was surprisingly solid.
~~<>~~
After skating for a few hours, I was beat. We headed back to the house which was quiet and still when we got back. There was a note left on the counter for us saying Jackie and Byron had to get back to Mayo for surgeries that night. The guys still wanted to watch a movie and asked me to go fetch Colby who was probably in his room. I gladly agreed and headed upstairs.
His room was quiet and I could smell an unfamiliar odour. It was kind of musky. I headed over to the bed which was in complete disarray. I let my eyes adjust a moment before I saw something that I really didn't want to see.
There was Colby, lying on his stomach, naked. His body, covered in sweat, reflected the light of the moon. The only thing out of place was an arm that was draped across the small of his back. My gaze drifted from the arm to it's source. Beth.
I quietly backed up, grabbed my bags, and left the room. The second the door was closed, I was hit with sobs that rocked my body. I quickly composed myself and headed back downstairs. I walked in, bags in hand.
Eric looked up with smile, which quickly disappeared when he saw my face. "Oliver, what's wrong?" he said walking up to me.
"He's in bed with Beth." is said numbly. The guys just gave each other glances, trying to communicate without words. "Would it be alright if I slept on the couch here?"
"Nope it's not okay. You're going to come and sleep in my bed. The couch may seem comfortable now, but when you wake up in the morning, you'll regret it."
"Is this experience talking Eric?" I asked flatly. They all just looked at each other, wondering if I was being serious. "It was a joke guys."
"Are you okay?" Brock asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"I swear, sometime my brother can an inconsiderate little prick." he said sitting back down. I followed suit and nothing else was said on the subject. Unfortunately, the image of Colby and Beth still lingered in my thoughts. It was almost like an afterimage effect, but this one was seared into my brain. I had to choke back sobs several times. I couldn't even tell you what movie we watch.
By the end of it, Ozzie asked me if I like it. I couldn't remember the title let alone if it was good or not. "Yeah it was okay."
"You didn't really watch it did you?" he asked accusingly. "Because that movie was kick ass!" he super enthusiastically. I couldn't help but smile.
"Slow down boy. We need to conserve that energy. I don't want you falling asleep on me while I'm going dow..." Brock said before getting interrupted by Eric. Ozzie just stared wide eyed at Brock before he turned tomato red.
"TMI! TMI! God guys save it for the bedroom!" Eric said laughing. I chortled in the background. "Come on. Maybe we'll have some fun of our own." Eric said to me jokingly, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
The four of us headed upstairs, said our goodnights, and retired to our bedrooms. Eric's room was a slightly larger bedroom than Colby's and donned a king-sized bed instead of a queen. "See. The bed is big enough for both of us." He said, stripping down to nothing. He turned to face me and I honestly thought I was gonna die because I couldn't breath. He and Colby were definitely brother because their bodies were honestly like sex on legs. "You aren't going to sleep in sweats are you? It's going to get pretty hot under the covers."
"Uh. Yeah sorry." I said turning towards my bag. Unfortunately for me, I took the bag with my day clothes in it, and not the ones with my underwear and pj's. I turned back to face him. He was beside the bed, turning it down. "Um, I grabbed the wrong bag. And I don't want to go back to Colby's room." I said sheepishly.
"That's ok, just wear your underwear." he said like there was no problem.
"Um, well see that's the problem. I'm not wearing any underwear."
"Oh! Well do you want to borrow a pair?"
"Sure." so I stripped down as he grabbed me a pair. I put those on and got into bed. I was completely exhausted so sleep came as soon as snuggled into bed. I faintly remember Eric snuggling up to me and whispering in my ear.
"I know that Eric loves you. And not just like a brother. He really loves you." he said before I fell asleep.
~~<>~~
I snuggled into Eric arms, not wanted to open my eyes. I could feel the sun on my face as Eric's arms held me tight against his naked body. I could feel his morning woody snugly squeezed between my butt cheeks. It was definitely a substantial tool wedged there. The only thing keeping skin touching skin was the thin material of his boxer shorts he lent me. My own wood was straining to stay contained in the loose material.
"Sorry. You know how it is in the morning. That and the fact I haven't had a warm body in my bed in a long time." he said.
"It's okay. We don't have to get up yet do we? Can we stay like this for a bit? It's really comforting." I asked shyly. I didn't like Eric the way I liked Colby, but Eric was a really nice guy and I could see having a great friendship.
"Yeah we can stay here for a while." he said holding me tighter. I tried to snuggle deeper into his body, and in the process, grounding my butt further into his lap. I'd never felt another guy near there before but when I felt it rub against my pucker, it sent shivers down my spine. He let out a strangled moan.
"Careful buddy. We might make a mess of things." he said kind of breathily. I just chuckled. I stopped when his fingers passed over my nipples, sending a shock down south. His hands continued to explore my body. My breathing suddenly hitched when his hand rubbed me through the cloth of the underwear. Unfortunately, he stopped. "Sorry buddy. I just lost control there for a second."
"It's okay. I've never felt anything like that before. It was kind of fun." I said, almost wishing it didn't stop.
"Yeah. Um.I'm gonna go to the bathroom to uh.take care of this." he said getting up and putting on some shorts.
"What I'm supposed to do with...mine?" I asked. My dick was aching for release.
"There's tissue beside the on the night stand there. Just don't leave a mess." he chortled leaving the room. Not more than thirty seconds there was a knock on the door. Damn it, I hadn't even gotten touch myself yet.
"Eric. Come open the door please. I don't know where Oliver is and one of his bags is missing. I don't know if he left or not." Colby's muffled voice came through the door. I got up and opened the door. Standing in front of me was a nervous, fidgety Colby.
"I'm right here Colby. There is no need for you to worry. But I think I'll be staying here for the rest of our stay. It seems you and Beth have a lot of catching up to do. I don't want to be in the way. I'm gonna get the rest of my stuff." I said brushing past him and headed towards his bedroom.
"Oliver wait." he said. I stopped but I didn't turn around. I couldn't blame him for my situation, but I could blame him for him completely disregarding my feelings and doing what he did.
"What?"
"I'm sorry Oliver. I know I hurt you by doing what I did and I don't have an excuse." I turned around to face him and what I saw broke my heart, twofold. I can't stand it when he is sad, let alone almost crying. but it wasn't just that. Seeing his face renewed the feeling of loss. The loss of hope that he'd fall in love with me.
"Look don't worry about it." I said trying to calm him down. "But like you said. Everything is changed. I can't help what I feel and you can't help what you don't. As much as hate the thought of it, I don't know how anything is going to get better if we're friends. I can't stand seeing you with someone else, but I don't want you not to date because it hurts me. I don't want us to drift apart, but it's gonna happen sooner or later. Now that everything is out there, we don't have a choice. Colby, I've never felt this way about anyone before, and I don't think I ever will. And what scares me is that whether or not we stay friends, I'll never get over you. So if I'm gonna be of sane mind, I can't be your friend anymore. I just can't." I said finally breaking down. "I'd rather hurt not being your friend than hurt being so close you but not being able to have you."
"Oliver," he said, slowly walking up to me "You can't really mean that. I need you in my life, Oliver. I can't live without you."
"You'll live Colby. I'm nothing special. Once I'm gone you'll realize that I'm nothing but another guy. And I'm sure you can do without all this drama. I could do without all this drama too. Our lives will be much less complicated if we're not friends. You have to realize that."
"I don't want to realize anything!" he suddenly yelled. "I just want you in my life. I want you to be my best friend." he was silently sobbing at this point. I couldn't handle.
"I'm sorry Colby. I'm sorry that you met me. I'm sorry I'm causing you to hurt. I'm sorry I fell in love with you." I said before walking to his room, grabbing my bag, and heading back into the hallway. Colby was no longer there, so made my way to Eric's room. I closed the door and leaned back on it as my body slowly slid down until I was sitting on the ground with my knees tucked into my chest. The sudden crushing pain of what had just happened hit me all at once. I cried and I cried. My heart was broken. I'd rather have been burned at the stake than feel what I was feeling at that moment. I had rid myself of the most wonderful person in the world and the loss crushed me.
I must have been crying a good ten minutes before an draping around my shoulder startled me. "Are you okay? What happened?" Eric said. I wiped my eyes and looked at him. He looked genuinely worried.
"I told Colby he and I couldn't be friends with him anymore. I told him that sooner or later the situation was gonna make us drift apart. That I planned on not going insane, and that to do that he and I couldn't be friends." I filled him on the other things that I said to Colby.
"Oh Oliver. I don't know what to say. The boys and I are really taken by you. I hope you'll stay in touch."
"I will. I know that I don't not want to ever see him again. Just not at this point. It hurts too much."
"I understand."
~~<>~~
The rest of stay went by like molasses dripping in a Winnipeg winter. I mostly spent my time with Eric, Brock and Ozzie. That was okay, but when Colby would join us, the air suddenly filled with a palpable tension. He and I would exchange a few words here and there. There were several times it was like he'd want to say something more, but stopped before he did.
Finally, Sunday morning came and Colby and I took the boys to the airport before we headed back to Winnipeg. We said our goodbyes, exchanged emails and numbers and then we were off. We shared a word or two the entire way home. It wasn't until we were in my driveway until that changed. Sade's 'By Your Side' came on.
"Oliver wait." he said grabbing my hand as I was about to get out of the car. "wait. I've been wanting to say this to since I realized it. Okay?" I nodded "Oliver, I can't have you walk out of my life. Please. I know now, after not really talking to you for a few days, that this friendship means more to me than anything in this world." he said. His eyes were moist, and when he looked in my eyes for the first time in days, I had to choke back a sob. "Oliver, I really do mean that. You mean everything to me. Not having you in my life," he managed to say before taking in a shuddering breath "you just can't do it Oliver because...because you'd be ripping out my heart. I love you Oliver."
"I know you love me, but it's just not enough. It's not the way that I want.that I need you to love me. I just can't..." I said before he interrupted me.
"I love you Oliver. I'm IN love with you. Can't you see what you do to me? I can't survive a day without seeing you let alone never seeing you again. I can't think straight when you look at me, and my stomach flutters every time you smile. I die every time you say you love me and when I say I love you, I've never meant it more than when I say it to you. I know now that I'm meant to love you, I was put on this earth for you. I've never felt so whole than when I'm holding you in my arms. You belong in my arms. And my lips." he said as he leaned in. Before I knew it, his lips were touching mine, the tears on our cheeks mingling with one another. His hand came around my head and pulled me in further. I moaned into his lips as I put my hand behind his head. He suddenly pulled away. "My lips..." he said giving me a quick peck "my lips were meant to kiss you. I love you Oliver, I'm in love with you. And I need you to be with me. Please. Don't walk out of my life." he said, our foreheads together as he looked at me with sad eyes.
I kissed him again and this time his tongue tickled my lips as if asking for permission to enter. I acquiesced to him and I sobbed into his lips. I wanted to cry because I've wanted to kiss him for so long. I didn't think I could fall deeper in love with him, but at that moment, he took me to another level.
He pulled away again and smiled. "I'll take that as a yes?" he said. I couldn't find my voice at that moment so just nodded. He let go of my hand, and I suddenly found my voice.
"Stay with me tonight? Please? I need you to hold me. I need to wake up in the morning with you holding. I need to know that this isn't a dream. Please?" he nodded and we got out of the car.
I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! Please let me know what you guys think. Getting emails from you guys really motivates me to write so please please please write in. cndoliver@gmail.com
Much Love, Oliver