Ambush

The following fictional story deals with sex among males. If you are offended by such material, are too young, or reside in an area where it is not allowed, depart. Though not observed in this story, care enough about yourself and humankind to practice safe sex.

The author retains all rights. No reproductions or links to other sites are allowed without the author's consent.

EBradley33@Excite.com

Chapter 20 Celebrating, Coming to Terms

As promised, the caterer arrived on time Friday. A young motherly type bursting with energy and efficiency, she set to work with dispatch. I had thought I'd help, but I realized that Donna Merton was so capable that I would be a hindrance. To keep from seeming a nuisance, I went for a walk, leaving the field to her. I knew she thought this was best.

A nip marked the fall air - even in the middle of the afternoon. I loved it. Although I didn't have a lot to be happy about, the briskness in the air made me feel really alive. Here and there were hints of color in the leaves: the promise of deep reds, yellows and coppers in the oaks, and golds, oranges, and brilliant reds in the maples.

My route took me by a neighborhood park, where I stopped to sit on a bench. My coffee chat with Susan was running through my mind. Susan's beauty was both physical and spiritual - I was hooked. Were we twins in a former life? I didn't believe in such possibilities, but our connectedness was uncanny. It was so enriching, so fulfilling. All of a sudden, I realized what she meant when she intimated that our coffee conversation covered her as well as me. We were so linked that discussion of one was also discussion of the other. I felt affirmed not only by Susan's love but also by Troy's obvious love for me. Images of Troy's hot body, dimples, and his sweet, insistent personality filled my mental field.

An earlier thought revisited me. I had been celebrating the beautiful autumn day but thought I didn't have a lot to be happy about. "Evan, what's wrong with you?" that interior voice challenged. "You're giving Jeremy gifts: acceptance, a chance he never would have had, reasons he desperately needed to feel good about himself, a future unimagined by him. You've become a friend who believes in Kenny wholeheartedly, to whom Kenny turns repeatedly. You have this utterly remarkable relationship with Troy and Susan that people would envy. And you have decided not to be happy?" I had to admit that the voice was correct. It was time to count my blessings. So why the gloom and doom?

I allowed feelings to flow through my mind, through me. They informed me fairly quickly what the hitch was. Tim. The feelings Tim evoked in me. The way he had allowed me to see myself as one worthy of love from a man who needed and wanted me. The way he had asked me, when I told him Jeremy was staying with me, if we were over. I'd reassured him, even professed my love for him. I had apologized for rushing that profession, telling him that I didn't want to put any pressure on him. Obviously, I had. It was my fault. I shouldn't have said that. I studied the blades of grass in front of the bench.

Did I drive Tim into the arms of the blond boy, or was he just playing the field with the two of us? Or was he really interested in the blond boy while I was a momentary diversion? If the latter were the case, I had to have been an awfully expensive diversion in terms of time and energy, for Tim had given a lot. I remembered his question about whether we two might make the long haul together. Now why would he have asked that if he hadn't been considering the very possibility? He wasn't being disingenuous. I still thought his question had been sincere. Well where did it all break down then?

I watched a ladybug crawling up my leg, her orange, black-dotted shell glinting in the sun. I put my finger down so that she could climb upon it and then lowered her to the grass, where she began charting new territory. I wish I had new territory to chart. Again, I felt the urge to move far away, start over, wipe out the past. "Oh, come on, Evan," I heard that interior voice say. "Life isn't programmed into Erase-a-Sketch. The past IS you, your present; you can't wipe it out!" Nevertheless, I felt a strong urge to move on. Maybe "flee" was the accurate term. The urge felt as though it were coming from deep within. Didn't that make it real?

My mind leapt back to that scene in the kitchen when Tim held me in his arms, facing Jeremy, telling him I was Tim's man. I could hear Tim's ringing voice, "I've lived too long waiting for someone special to sacrifice happiness because of some living arrangement." That had been real, honest. In the bedroom he'd told me, "Something happened to me after your phone call today. It's like I've come alive, taken charge, found untapped sources of energy and possibilities." So did I push him into that new behavior earlier in the day? Now that I thought about it, all that talk about energy and possibilities could have said plenty about him but nothing about me in his life. Had he misgivings several days later?

This was causing the hurt. Not just that Tim wasn't in my life; rather, I learned belatedly that he had been in my life only briefly, if ever. Something happened between that night and the present. He had found the blond boy better than I. In fact, while he had been professing such sentiments, he was already involved with the blond boy.

I still had never really known true love. People loved me, but I meant the kind of love I thought Tim had given me or a man like Tim could give me. A man loving a man from the depth of his heart! I didn't know why I needed it, but deep within me dwelt the need. It wasn't manufactured or counterfeit, and it wasn't going away.

What about Troy? Troy's love, I knew, wasn't just romantic. It was bound up in his feelings for me as mentor and friend. It didn't make it less than genuine love; in fact, it would promise to be an enduring love. What about Jeremy? Kenny? I was lucky in the love they gave me, yet there was no basis for believing that Kenny's and Jeremy's love was actually romantic. Given the circumstances in their lives, I knew they needed my love. Their gestures were probably more acknowledgements of their own need to be loved than actual responses to me. Reactive, not proactive, love. In short, they needed me but not as a lover. That's what they were becoming for each other. Over time, their need for me in their lives might still exist, but its fulfillment would find other expressions, not likely physical love.

And, from my current vantage, there was no promise of a lover coming along. That frightened me: I had thought being lovers was natural for Tim and me, an event occurring in the fullness of time. But the blond boy proved that wrong.

I had to end this line of thought. I didn't want it affecting me on Jeremy's night. Okay, I should think about what then? Because it should make me happy, I started thinking about the holidays. Would Jeremy be with me at Thanksgiving? Christmas? Memories of past holidays filled my head. I had never gotten used to holidays alone. I wanted to crawl into a closet and hibernate for 24 hours. But the thought of Jeremy spending the holidays with me picked up my spirits. My imagination flooded with images - the two of us putting up a Christmas tree, preparing for the holidays, shopping for gifts, doing holiday things together when he wasn't with his friends, having our friends over. Well that wasn't even realistic, for Kenny would figure largely - and rightly so - in Jeremy's holidays.

Then that line of thought shifted like a treacherous current, darkening my mood. Would the approach of those holidays change his parents' hearts so that they would want him back among them? My heart plummeted. "Evan, you can't stand in the way of a rapprochement between Jeremy and his parents, should that be likely to occur," that voice said. "I know," I replied wistfully. I had to be happy for Jeremy if that transpired.

What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I muster one continual line of happy thought? I arose and continued my walk, slowly, not as rapidly as usual. I had to eat up time so that I didn't return too early.

Jeremy arrived home from school in high spirits. I introduced him to Donna and they chatted for a while. As I left to go dress for the guests, I heard Donna ask him what the occasion was for the gathering.

I luxuriated in being able to shower again, which I could do if I sat on a small plastic patio table, keeping weight off my fractured leg and hanging on to bars in the shower until I could hop around or grab my crutches. A shower took as long as a bath, but I enjoyed it more. After I dressed, I went to the kitchen to see if Donna needed anything.

"Donna, how may I assist you?"

"Everything is ready, Mr. Halsey. Some of the food is already on the tables in the sunroom and the family room. When the first guest arrives, I'll put out the food that we want to be warmer, and I'll start the second batch of cocktail pizzas."

"You have everything under control. By the way, please call me Evan."

"Okay, Evan. Jeremy was telling me how you took him in. Provided him a wardrobe. Told him you'd help him go to college. He seems like such a nice young man. I can't understand how anyone could throw him out."

"Where is Jeremy?"

"He went to shower and dress for the party."

At that moment, the host walked into the kitchen. Donna whistled. "Hey, Hunk. You're a beauty."

Jeremy blushed. I laughed with glee. He looked at me as though to tell me to cool it. He was wearing a pumpkin-colored pullover and dark tan slacks. It made his tan complexion and the gold highlights in his hair stand out. It even seemed to bring out gold flecks in his brown eyes. The sleeves of the pullover were pushed up so that the watch glinted on his wrist.

We stood visiting for a bit. Jeremy and I tried a couple of the pizzas. They were wonderful. We complimented Donna, who clearly enjoyed making people happy with good food. We heard car doors slamming and muted voices. "Party's on!" Jeremy exclaimed, walking to the living room.

Jeremy, having taken a post at the door, was a polished host. Though he had been deprived of just such experiences as those that would occur this evening, his goodness and concern for others made him a natural. He greeted Jarod Paine and Valerie Cunningham, who had arrived with Tony Francini and Angela Walker. Jarod and Valerie were beaming in each other's company, a seasoned couple at last. New as their relationship was, Tony and Angela had been together enough that their comfort with each other was natural.

LaKeisha Green and Roland Jackson arrived with Paul Hartford and Beth Walker. LaKeisha and Roland were so relaxed with each other. Later, I would recall that they were always together, one with an arm around the other, or holding hands, or politely caressing some part of the other. It was like a ballet. Something had sparked between Paul and Beth, for their eyes twinkled when they looked at each other. They were never apart.

Jeremy hugged the women, kissing them on the cheek, evoking miles and blushes, for they recognized his approval. He shook the men's hands, placing his other hand on an arm or shoulder. He flirted with the women and joked with the men. When Kenny arrived, Jeremy hugged him closely, not holding back to protect the others' illusions. I noticed that special look Jeremy and Kenny had for each other.

Troy and Susan followed Kenny in the door, and Jeremy and Kenny hugged Susan, after which she kissed each on the cheek, a symbol of the closeness developing among them, a closeness that was not missed by anyone. Susan and Troy separately sought out my eye, Susan smiling, Troy and his dimples winking.

Rosalie Rodriguez and another fellow were followed by Wendy Fielding and a man I didn't know, but all were warmly greeted by Jeremy.

Even though she was my student, I suddenly felt a little uncomfortable around Wendy, who was Tim Minor's "Susan Connolly." "Evan," I heard that voice say, "be fair." Nevertheless, I moved in the direction of the family room in the back of the house. None of the guests had wandered back that far yet. Having skipped dinner, I helped myself to some refreshments. I was glad for a moment alone.

Rosalie Rodriguez and her date came strolling into the room. When she saw me, she brought him over to meet me. She introduced Luis Mendoza, her boy friend, a freshman at the city college, majoring in business. He had that outgoing personality and self-possession that made one think he'd be a good manager or entrepreneur. He was tall and thin but with good shoulders. He had that angular Hispanic cast to his face that was such a turn-on. Lots of black hair. They were a cute couple, each proud to be in the company of the other.

"Mr. Halsey, I was so glad to visit you here yesterday. I always wondered where you lived. I knew your home must be nice because I have heard from everyone how you spend most of your time here. I can see why. It's so restful - the colors, the rooms, the furniture. You have so many places to relax and read, prepare for class and grade papers."

Luis asked, "Yesterday?" Rosalie explained about the cleaning crew. Luis turned to me. "What's your secret? How can I talk Rosalie into doing that for me?"

With a twinkle in my eye, I replied, "Maybe the secret words for Luis Mendoza are 'will you marry me?'" We laughed and Rosalie blushed, but the remark had hit close to her heart's desire, I could tell.

"Let's see," she said. "What are some of the magic words? 'How about a romantic, candlelight dinner this evening?' 'How about letting me take you to church?' 'How about coming with me to my friends' parties?'"

"Ah-oh," I remarked. "She's got this all figured out. She's farther down the road than you, Luis. It looks like she's ready to bargain. Besides, I thought I heard a couple of winners in there." We laughed.

Kenny sauntered in, heading right for me to give me a hug. "Isn't this great?" he said, smiling, happy, making me wonder about the tenor of his and Jeremy's discussion of the party. Rosalie and Luis wandered over to the refreshment table to sample its offerings. "So how does Jeremy feel about the party?" I asked.

He looked at me a moment, smiling, teasing a little with his pause. "What will you do to me if I tell you?" he asked impishly.

"It starts with tying you down and driving you mad with pleasure," I shot back.

"Well, that settles it," he said. "I'm not telling you anything." I made a grab for him but he bounced back, laughing. He was quicker than I expected. I guess his fraternization with the jocks was rubbing off.

Still laughing, he relented. "He's really happy, Evan. He's never had a party before. Did you know he's hardly even attended a party? I think he was such a lone wolf that it never occurred to anyone to invite him. And then he always thought he would stick out among the guests as though he really didn't belong. But he's loving this gathering. It's safe to say that tonight will rank as one of the most important memories in his life. [Well, we'll just have to see that he has another, I thought, maybe during Christmas break.] Can't you tell just by looking at his face? It's all he's talked about for days. You should have seen how proud he was going around school inviting everyone. I'm not certain I've ever seen him that happy at school."

Cody Saxon and a young woman I didn't know wandered into the family room, along with Jamal Franklin and a young freshman, whose name I didn't know, reminding me that guests were arriving while I was hiding out. "I hope Cody and Jarod don't take exception to each other's company," I said with some concern.

"Oh, no," Kenny answered. "They're friends now. Troy made them make up. He told them that if they couldn't be friends with each other, then they weren't going to be his friends."

"Right after their fight in the men's room?"

"No, it was a couple of weeks later, when Troy started being head man in the group. Before that, he was just one of the guys, even though they all looked up to him. But at some point in there, Troy started acting like the leader of the group. They accepted him. Then Troy and Susan started including Jeremy in their lives, and Troy brought him into the circle of his jock buddies. Then Jeremy and Troy started being close friends. Not long after that, Jeremy became sort of a co-leader. He and Troy started including others - like Jarod. That's when Troy told them to shape up if they wanted him as a friend. Then they brought me in. Being jocks, Jamal and Cody were always part of the group. A few others have joined too. When we're together, we look like a pack. Come on, let me introduce you."

I was surprised that Kenny wanted to play host too. Some of Jeremy's exuberance must have rubbed off on Kenny. I wondered if Kenny's parents had allowed him to host a party. We moved over to the group. Cody, who had been eying me, held out his hand upon being introduced. Kenny introduced me to Mindy Grant, Cody's attractive date. Then to Jamal and Tiffany Jacobs, Jamal's date. Kenny was just as polished and at ease as Jeremy was at the front door. No evidence of shyness. We all chatted a bit. I excused myself from the group with a comment that I probably should check guests in the front of the house.

Just as I arrived in the living room, LaRonda entered as though she had stepped off Cleopatra's barge. Clifton paid court, handsome, winning appreciative looks from the other women. LaRonda accepted even those looks as her due, for Clifton was HER man. But her eye was watchful too, I noted with some amusement.

Kathleen and John Burge arrived, with several couples moving over to greet them. I'd never seen Kathleen come alive so quickly. Right before my eyes she was grooving with the students. John was quite at ease, striking up conversations with men and women alike as though he'd known them for years.

Clearly, the women had networked more than the men, for they moved into twos, fours, and sixes, pulling their men with them, before separating and moving into new configurations. All were alive with laughter, cheer, good feelings. Jeremy's social event would be a significant memory in their lives too.

Suddenly, the living room and then the sunroom quieted. I looked over at the door. I hope my jaw didn't drop. There stood Robert Martin and Lisa Wemberley. Jeremy hugged Lisa and warmly shook Robert's hand. I realized Kenny had to have given his approval; otherwise, Jeremy would never have invited them. After a visual sweep of the rooms, I saw that Kenny had returned from the family room and was visiting in the back of the sunroom, but, along with everyone else, he turned to the front door when the silence descended, seeing Robert and Lisa. His face was impassive. Robert scanned the rooms until his eyes alighted on Kenny. They studied each other, exhibiting no hostility. Hm-m-m-m-m-m. This would bear watching.

There was another stir, and exclamations of surprise, as Kate Williams walked through the door and into Jeremy's arms. They embraced warmly and chatted briefly. I could tell Kate was delighted with the effect wrought by her arrival. The guests weren't quite certain what to make of the principal's presence at their social event. Eventually, they regarded it as explained by Jeremy's charm. I could see myth in the making for Jeremy. Immediately, couples started gravitating to Kate. I laughed out loud. She shot me a smile. It told me there wouldn't be a kid there who wouldn't regard her as a personal friend when the evening was over. This woman knew how to work a room!

I was a little surprised to see Greg Dunwoodie arrive with another fellow, but Jeremy obviously knew both. Not long after, Greg brought the young man, a little older than himself, over to meet me. He introduced Ross Brownlee, an art major at the local college. I wondered if he and Kenny were acquainted. I liked Ross immediately. He and Greg were the same height, but where Greg was slight, Ross was heftier, beefy, with straight black hair, a flannel-shirt fellow. Good looking, Ross was poised and, I discovered in short order, an intellect. I would enjoy spending some time visiting with him. Greg was obviously proud of the connection we made. I asked Ross if he knew Kenny Walters. When he replied in the negative, I asked Greg to lead us to Kenny for introductions. Greg did so handily. Kenny was still in his corner of the sunroom, but he and Ross immediately warmed to each other, starting a line of conversation that must have gone on for half an hour. After visually excusing myself, I moved elsewhere before their conversation was over.

I was delighted to see that Jeremy had grabbed Donna Merton - in her apron - and was taking her around introducing her to everyone. I could tell she was surprised and pleased to be brought into the group. After each clutch of people met her, they began to move to the refreshment tables.

Later, I chatted with Greg, telling him what a jewel Ross was. "I thought you'd be okay with my bringing a guy," Greg stated. Yeah, his Gaydar had revealed that he wouldn't have a problem in Evan Halsey's precincts.

"Greg, you and yours are always welcome here." He hugged me - with some gratitude, I thought. I would have to watch and support Greg whenever I could. I sensed his knuckles had already been rapped, figuratively speaking, because of his sexual orientation. Kenny had come over to tell Greg how much he enjoyed visiting with Ross.

Just then Kate joined us. She grabbed Kenny up in a big hug. Yeah, she'd heard about Robert's break-up with Kenny. She bowled Kenny over with her acceptance of him, for he understood the import of her behavior. I loved it. She hugged Greg too, who was obviously surprised by her approval. I could see he was relieved.

Then she came for me. I felt like running. She clapped her arms around me and laid a smack on my cheek. I colored. She broke out in laughter.

"So what was the word from Dr. Sorenson?" she asked, her chin elevated, for she already imagined the answer. "No splint on my leg," I boasted.

"And?" she pressed.

"Okay - I can't return to school yet," I admitted less brightly.

She didn't say "I told you so," but there was a triumphant look in her eye. She turned to Kenny. "So is he taking care of himself, Kenny?"

"Yeah, he takes walks, gets his rest, exercises his sense of humor."

Kate giggled. "When did he acquire one?" Kenny and Greg snorted. Kate continued, "The Old Iceberg. He'd have to warm up to have a sense of humor. So is Tim Minor responsible for that?"

My smile disappeared, and I blushed. She sensed something wrong immediately but, before she could say anything, Ross Brownlee joined Greg, who introduced him to Kate. I slipped away.

Tony and Angela came over, both hugging me, Tony inquiring when I was going to return to his family's restaurant. I hesitated, for my last visit had been arranged by Tim. "It's okay, Evan," he whispered in my ear. "You're welcome alone or with another date." I looked into his eyes, seeing acceptance, not mockery. "Soon," I replied.

I asked Angela how she liked the restaurant. "Mr. Halsey, I feel as though I have a new family. When I'm at the restaurant, as busy as it is, I feel like I've shed troubles and worries. Tony's parents are so nice to me. If they are really busy, I like to pitch in and wait tables with Tony. It's like we are working as a team." I knew that earned her a special place in Papa and Momma Francini's hearts and most certainly Tony's. That kind of talk told me that her future plans were headed squarely in that direction. I stifled a laugh. Tony was head over heels - he was beaming at Angela while she was relating this experience. I was delighted. Finally, I thought, Angela has found a place to fit in naturally instead of being a tag-along friend. I could tell that it afforded her a degree of self-possession I had not seen before.

Some sixth sense alerted me at that point to the absence of Kenny and Robert. After moving about some, I noticed Jeremy's bedroom door was closed. I suspected a rapprochement, probably verbal only, was occurring behind the door. I scouted the rooms, looking for Jeremy to see if he knew. I found him in the family room. One glance from him told me that he knew about Robert and Kenny. My raised eyebrows inquired if he was okay with it. His smile reassured me. So! They had worked it out beforehand. Good for them.

Later, I had retreated to a corner of the living room. When Susan saw me standing there, she detached herself from Rosalie and Luis, Kathleen and John Burge, to stroll my way. She hugged me.

"Thank you for sharing Troy, Susan."

Her eyes twinkled. "Evan, when are you going to get it?"

"Get what? How many times do you plan to humble me with that question? It's not the first time I've heard it come out of your mouth." She chuckled.

"I'm going to ask it until you believe it. Just as I belong to Troy, you belong to Troy. He has chosen us. It works out well. You and I have unleashed a remarkable man. Sometimes Troy grows so much in character, strength, and poise that I wonder if I can keep track of him. With Troy, you and I are not a threat to each other. He loves us both. And you and I are so simpatico that sometimes to Troy we are one and the same. I think that's true for making love, too," she chuckled. "What I value is how close it draws the three of us. You are part of us, Evan. We hope we are a part of you." In so many ways the trio she described reminded me of a Pride, with Troy as the Lion.

I paused in thought. "Yes," I said slowly. "Until you mentioned it, I hadn't thought about it formally, but I know now that it's felt that way for a long time with you, more recently with Troy, but now both of you equally."

"That's why I tell you, Evan - you are not alone."

LaKeisha and Roland joined us. LaKeisha introduced Roland to me. We shook hands. "Your fame precedes you," I smiled. "LaKeisha told my entire class about your rescue of her at a ballgame."

He laughed. "Oh my, what wild story did she tell?"

"The truth," she retorted, mocking umbrage. "Many of the women in class would have dated you on the spot for your gentlemanly character." Paul and Beth had joined us around the time of the introduction. Beth was fanning her face with her hand. "When LaKeisha told your story, I had the tremors," she laughed. "I was so aroused." Paul looked startled.

"I guess you've got your work cut out for you," LaKeisha giggled, looking at Paul. "Oh, he's already passed that test with flying colors," Beth responded. Paul turned bright red, and the rest of us laughed so loudly that other groups looked our way.

"Put it here, my Man," Roland said to Paul, and they high-fived.

"What are you congratulating yourself for, Roland?" LaKeisha challenged, as though she had a chip on her shoulder. "I didn't say anything about your passing a test!"

"You couldn't, baby. Remember: my moves made you faint with pleasure."

"Roland! Don't be telling our intimate stuff," she huffed indignantly. This time the laughter was a roar.

"Everybody check your watch," I said, looking at my wristwatch. Several did. "At exactly 8:43 p.m. - let's get the time right - a man, our friend Roland, one- upped LaKeisha Green." Laughter again.

"No, no, no, no," LaKeisha broke in. "Roland needed a little confidence-building, so I pretended to faint." No one was buying it.

As the evening wore on, I watched the "dance" of the various couples. I felt myself growing quieter inside. It was starting to hurt. I missed Tim. I missed the look in his eyes when they captured me. I missed his smart-ass demeanor that challenged me to a verbal wrestling match imbued, I had thought, with love. I missed his hot body. Most of all, I missed his quiet, unspoken demand that I submit to him so that he could create HIS love in me. When I realized it, I was surprised. I loved submitting to Tim just as I had to Robert and Kenny.

I was a little tired of leaning on my crutches, so I moved to a corner of the sunroom. When she saw me alone, Kate came over, taking a chair beside mine. She studied me for several seconds. Finally I raised my eyebrows with a "So?" look. "I'm usually pretty good about keeping up with rumors. I know about his job possibility in the state capital, but I guess I missed the one about Tim and you being on the outs."

"He found a cute blond college student, a chem. major to boot," I replied. "Sounds like an ideal situation for him."

She continued studying me. "No, Evan, he'll regret it." Several beats passed. "When do you see Dr. Sorenson again?"

"Next Tuesday. But plan on seeing me in school on Wednesday."

"Oh? When did you earn a medical degree?"

"Kate, I'm coming back to school, no matter what Dr. Sorenson says."

A fledgling smile crossed her face. "I know you're healed now. I hear you took Kenny in recently when he needed it."

"Is there anything you don't know?" She chuckled.

Kathleen Burge joined us. "Evan, this is a wonderful party for Jeremy. He's just glowing. Several times I've gotten misty-eyed just watching him, knowing how happy he is. He's changed, and it's every bit for the better. He holds his head up; he's acquired poise. It's just marvelous and so deserved."

"Yes," Kate chimed in. "Who is responsible for the make-over?"

"Make-over?"

"His looks have changed. He's a handsome man now."

"Susan took him to a salon to rid him of the bowl cut. That's when he came back looking so different. But I agree. In every way, he's like someone new and different."

"He looks so good in his new clothes," Kathleen exclaimed. "I must admit I'm glad to see the modest grunge look go by the way. I always knew there was a better-looking fellow under that facade."

"Where did you find the wonderful caterer?" Kate asked.

"I saw her new business announced in the business supplement of the Saturday paper some weeks ago. There was just something about her and the description of her business that caught my eye. I clipped the article and put it in the back of the phone book, thinking that if I ever needed a caterer, she would be the one I'd try first."

Kate stared at me unbelievingly.

"What?" I asked in some exasperation. I was growing weary of responses I couldn't interpret.

"I'm trying to wrap my mind around the notion that the old Evan Halsey would unbend enough to even consider breaking his self-imposed isolation to have a party."

"I've changed," I said in protest.

"He has," Kathleen assured Kate. "I've seen it happening over the last month or so. I think having Jeremy here with you has changed you, Evan. Aren't you happier."

"Yes, I am. Let me introduce Donna to you. You may want to try her services in the future." I arose, collected my crutches, and moved to the kitchen. Donna was puttering around there, so I asked her to come with me because I wanted her to meet two people. We returned to Kathleen and Kate, where I made introductions. The "women" talk began immediately. I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. Turning my head, I saw that Robert had stepped into the sunroom, waiting for a moment with me. I excused myself and moved over to him.

He hugged me when I reached him. "Evan, remember giving me a homework assignment?"

"Yes."

"I did what you directed. Evan," he said with some excitement; "it was just as you said. Each day, I added a new person. The first day there was this heavy-set freshman girl who always sits alone in the cafeteria, so as I walked by her, I stopped and said hello. I introduced myself, and we visited for a few minutes. The next day Amy was back in her usual place, so I went by again. This time, when I approached, she smiled and her eyes lit up as you predicted. I asked her what her favorite class was, and we visited for about twice as long.

"I also saw this little nerdy freshman, glasses so thick no-one ever saw the person behind them, pen pack in his shirt, plain clothes. I said hello, introducing myself. He just stared at me like something was wrong. I had to ask him his name. Then I shook Todd's hand. I asked him what he was into. When he told me computers, I sat down to visit with him about a problem I'm having with my computer at home. He offered to come over and help me fix it. The next day, I sat down and ate lunch with Amy. She likes computers too. So I went over and asked Todd to join us. He and Amy immediately moved to the same wavelength. After a couple of minutes, I hardly said anything else because they were visiting non-stop.

"The next day I visited them again, but that morning I had stopped to visit a kid in a wheelchair, Lanny Landrum. Great name, huh? He's a really humorous guy. It's fun, Evan. I just kept going, each day connecting with someone new. I'm going to continue adding someone new each day. I know that eventually I can't get to all of them in one day, but I'll be certain to speak to each one sometime during the week."

"Do you realize now the power for good that you have always possessed? Once you moved past your privileged stance, you weren't blind anymore."

He pulled me tight against him. "Thank you, Evan."

"Don't answer if this is too personal, but have you and Kenny started talking?"

"Yes, we had a long talk tonight in Jeremy's room, the talk we might have had if I'd handled the situation better. He doesn't want me to drop Lisa. Jeremy's taken my place," he said with some regret. "But I'm happy for Kenny. He deserves to have someone all the time." He fell quiet. "I miss the Pride, Evan."

"But you have Lisa now. Is that working out well?"

The light in his eyes brightened. "Oh, yes. We are so happy. And we have good times together. We are even making plans for college next year."

"Oh? Where are you going?"

"State U."

Wendy and her date moved over to us. "Mr. Halsey, I'd like you to meet my date, Shane McComber. He's a chem. major at the local college." Shane and I shook hands. Wendy introduced him to Robert next. Shane was good looking. Why were all chem. folks tall? Fumes from the chemicals? Secret midnight formulae in the lab? He had a lot of dark red hair, which set off his pale complexion perfectly. No freckles. The red in his hair and eyebrows was darker, for it had brown in it. Any time I saw a man with red hair, I wondered what his cock hair looked like. It was a turn-on fantasy. Moderate shoulders. Flat stomach. A laid-back demeanor. Yeah, he was scientist material.

"One of Shane's classmates and friends is a good friend of Tim Minor's," Wendy commented, studying me closely. "His name's Alan Frazier. Perhaps you've met him." I just shook my head no, amazed at the pain I immediately felt in my heart. A hot blush suffused my face. Somehow that remark sealed my fate in regard to Tim. Why had Wendy mentioned that? She surely knew that I had heard about the blond guy. She probably knew that Troy had expressed his disappointment about Tim's behavior to Tim. So what was the point? Put me down? Rub it in? Punish me? For what? I gulped, excusing myself with the comment that I needed to check if all was well in the kitchen.

I moved through the kitchen and the family room, opening the sliding door and stepping out on the deck. The air had more of a nip than this afternoon. It seemed to restore me. I moved out of the light from the family room into the shadowed portion of the deck, taking a seat in a patio chair. I was growing weary of tussling with the Tim issue. I was just going to have to get over it or ignore it or do something. I didn't want the issue in my head anymore. "Tell that to your heart," the inner voice challenged. "I can do it," I thought. "I can ignore it."

I heard the patio door sliding open. Cody Saxon stepped out, closing the door behind him. He didn't notice me in the shadows. He walked over to the deck railing, looking out on the lawn. He sipped from a soft drink can. I thought it would be impolite to sit there without his knowing that he wasn't alone. "Hello, Cody. How's life treating you?"

His head turned slowly, looking back over his shoulder at me. He held that stance for perhaps 15 seconds, saying nothing. Then he turned, just standing there looking at me, what he could see of me, that is. What's this, I wondered. It didn't seem friendly.

"Hi," he replied. He slowly walked over, sitting in a patio chair next to me.

"Is anything wrong?" I asked.

Again, maybe 15 seconds of silence. What's up with this guy? It was making me edgy, which was odd, considering that Cody and I had no history at all other than my breaking up his fight with Jarod in the men's room. I grabbed my crutches and rose to go back in the house. When he realized that I was leaving, he blurted out, "That's quite a number you did on Troy."

"What number did I do on Troy?"

"Making him change so much."

"I didn't make Troy do anything. I don't know what change you are talking about." I started to move off toward the patio doors.

"Please stay and talk," he requested.

"Cody, we aren't talking. You are staring at me in these long, rude silences. It seems to me you're pitching attitude for reasons I cannot possibly fathom. And I'm not going to bother myself trying to figure it out. It's all I can do to manage myself and a career, so I'm not managing someone else's life - Troy's, you seem to think. That's not what I am about. If you have an issue with directions Troy's life is taking, I suggest you have this discussion with Susan since she's central to his existence and he to hers. Or better yet, why not the man himself?" I started to move toward the sliding glass doors.

"I'm sorry. Please don't go. I would like to talk to you."

"Please"? Why did that seem like a come-down for him? I turned and looked at him, giving him one of his long silences right back. The problem was that Cody was a major turn-on. That name made him seem like a butch actor in cowboy movies. Tall, well- but not spectacularly built, like a younger, smaller brother of Troy's except that they shared the same age. He wore his dark brown hair long, rather a page-boy cut, quite full, falling to just about a couple of inches above his shoulders. Prince Valiant had nothing on Cody Saxon! I was surprised that the basketball coach would allow him to sport such a hairstyle. It also told me Cody Saxon arrayed himself to meet his own standards, not somebody else's and not fads. He had brown eyes that never revealed what was occurring within. If anything, they seemed rather cool, maybe even slightly hostile when cast upon you. Nice muscles, nice ass. He was one of those people totally in touch with his body, moving gracefully. Reminded me of a panther. It explained his prowess on the basketball court. He was popular among the women students. I never remembered seeing him smile. Surely he must. Probably the one thing anyone could detect was that Cody idolized Troy, making me wonder if Troy knew that. He probably smiled around Troy.

"Talk about what?"

"Troy. The guys. You."

"Cody, I'm not in the best of moods or situations now, and I'm not going to take shit off anybody, including you. If that's what's about to come down, then you can stuff it."

"It's a thing I do," he rushed to explain. "I don't think much about why I do it - staring people down. Making them wait before I say anything. They just pay more attention to me that way. It also gets us past the superficial stuff right to the nitty-gritty. I don't mean it to be unfriendly, but I guess people may take it that way. Sure works on the basketball court with an opposing player. Rattles him. Makes him make mistakes."

"This is a deck."

For the first time he snorted a small laugh. He waited a few beats. "Troy's changed a lot lately. The guys have changed a lot lately. It's left me a little confused. I don't know what to make of it, what it means for me, or what to do. I've always listened to everything Troy says. He talks about you all the time. It's obvious you mean a ton to him. I want to mean that much to him, but I've been feeling that I can't give him anything close to what he's gotten from you. I feel like I don't count with him anymore. I feel like I've lost when I didn't even know I was playing a game. Then he and Jeremy have become tight. Again, it's like I've been edged out. The guys aren't even the guys anymore. New guys have joined us. We used to be just jocks. That was nice. Comfortable. Now we're not."

"Are the guys worse now that the group isn't made up of just jocks?"

He thought for maybe 20 seconds. "No."

"Do you enjoy being with the guys? Or is it that you enjoy being with just Troy even though the guys are along too?"

Again, he thought. I guess I could count on getting careful answers from this fella. "No, I enjoy the guys. Jeremy's funny. He sort of monitors all of us, paying attention to whoever is down about something." More silence. "I realize just now that he spends more time with whoever is not having a good day when we are together, sitting next to him, visiting with him." A silence. "Kenny's a nice guy. He did a sketch of me. [I smiled; I could see it coming.] When I look at it, I see myself the way others see me, I guess."

"And what do you think of that fellow staring out of the sketch at you?" I had been leaning on my crutches, which was no longer entirely comfortable since I had been doing it most of the evening. I moved over and sat down, for I knew Cody would think again before answering.

"Kind of strange. I see myself as friendlier than the guy in the sketch. But I also see that the guy in the sketch needs something, wants something. That shocked me. Bothered me."

"When did Kenny give you the sketch?"

"Yesterday."

"Do you think that the need your sketch reveals is what we are talking about now?"

"Like what?"

"A need to feel that your long-term standing with Troy hasn't changed, even though he and the group with whom you spend time have changed? You've probably been feeling that way for quite a few days, days when you were with the guys and Kenny was there to observe you. That impression shaped his rendering of you in the sketch."

Silence. "Yeah, maybe."

"Of course, that need existed before Troy and the guys changed. Right?"

"Yeah."

"And that need has something to do with you and Troy?"

"Yeah."

"I don't hear in what you have said to me that you can articulate yet what that need regarding Troy is. So you should think about it. In fact, having a chat with Troy about it wouldn't be a bad idea. Troy may be able to tell you exactly what he perceives that need to be."

"It might be embarrassing."

"Not with Troy. You and I are both familiar enough with him to know that whatever you say to him about yourself will be well-received. You seem to be forgetting that he has felt as close to you as you to him. Sounds to me that when you noticed Troy was changing, you regarded that as the end of that old relationship without thinking that a new and better stage in your relationship was now possible. Your relationship with Troy extends right through the changes you have observed in him. Has he given you any indication that the esteem in which he has held you has changed?"

"No."

"Then a cool guy like you doesn't leap to believing that you no longer have a connection with Troy. You are correct about one thing - Troy has changed. It has been by his own choice, Cody. It has been for the better. You are seeing Troy moving into a strong leadership position. You have seen him become a protector of those who need it. You have seen him begin to trust and act out of his intellect. You surely have noted how happy and proud he is of these changes. In fact, you might consider following him in that direction."

Cody's head jerked up from staring at the floor of the deck. "Me be like Troy?" he asked with some skepticism.

"Why not? If you chose Troy as a friend, he chose you too. Why do you think he did that?"

"We're jocks."

I huffed some impatience. "Does Troy automatically like all jocks to the same degree that he likes you?"

Silence. "No, he doesn't care much for Jim Marbury. As you know, Jim's a great power forward, but that doesn't make Troy like him."

"Now please apply that knowledge to this enigma we call Cody Saxon."

He again snorted out a laugh. "Okay, I see what you mean." Silence. "So why do you think I've been bothered about all of this - afraid, I mean?"

"In life, when people are ready to move to a new stage of development, they move rapidly. Troy's change has occurred dramatically - over just about a month, actually. You looked up and realized he was on down the road before you even knew he was moving. You had to play catch-up but you couldn't determine to what you were trying to catch up. It shook you a little because you haven't communicated with Troy, nor he with you, about these changes."

I paused. "When someone moves to a new level of development, he does not leave behind those important to him. He takes them along because they are his moorings, his support. He takes his bearings from them. Has Troy signaled that he is ready to jettison you as a bud?" Silence. I laughed softly. No one would ever say "look before you leap" to this guy.

"No."

"You have mentioned how close Jeremy and Troy have become. Jeremy is changing just as quickly and dramatically as Troy. That's why they are simpatico. Want to be the same? Then move along with them. Troy and Jeremy aren't a threat to you. They can be helpmates to you. The world always needs a new champion of the disadvantaged, the unfortunate, the underdog. The world wants another hero who cares. You can be just like Troy and Jeremy - except that you'll be silent about it," I laughed. He chuckled too.

"You really think they would want to include me?"

"Oh Cody, come on - why not? Have they shown any kind of exclusivity about their company at all?"

Silence. "No."

"Trust your friends, Man. If you can't trust your friends, whom can you trust?"

He stared at me. "You're right."

"Now, since you made a request of me, that I discuss this issue with you, will you grant a request of mine?"

"Yeah. I owe it." Well, a sign of character. Nice.

"Discuss this with Troy."

"How would I do that without seeming like a whiner?"

"Start out by congratulating Troy on the changes you've seen in him. Then move into telling him how you felt that he didn't need you anymore. But then you figured out that you two are the same buddies you were before. Believe me, Troy will add his two cents worth. You both will have a discussion that was necessary but has been a long time coming. It will strengthen the bond between you. Let Troy know you are on his team. That he can count on you and that you intend to count on him."

Silence. "Yeah, I can see how it would work out."

I arose. "I'm going to be watching. If you lag, I'll take you into the men's room and we'll duke it out like you and Jarod until you come to your senses."

He laughed. "Yeah, right!"

"Is that doubt I hear?"

"No, sir."

"Not 'sir' tonight, Cody. Just 'Evan'."

"Okay, Evan."

"By the way - you should know that when Kenny gave you the sketch, in his mind he was giving you a special gift, his unique ability to draw not just a person's surface features but features beneath the surface too. And it WAS a gift, for, by your own admission, you recognized factors about yourself that had been hidden from you. I probably don't need to say this, but I hope you appreciate his gift. And if you do, and you've decided to follow Troy and Jeremy as a leader, you'll express your appreciation to Kenny as a return gift to him." Cody arose and followed me into the family room.

I lurked in the corners of the rooms, watching Jeremy's guests enjoy themselves. I was so happy for Jeremy: his gathering was a success. The buzz about it would be on for at least half the week at school. I noticed Kate talking to groups and couples. They were enjoying her up close and natural - not from afar. I heard other groups talking about how natural Kate seemed, not like a principal at all.

Some couples had departed after expressing to Jeremy what a good time they had. I was glad they didn't seek me out. I wanted this to be Jeremy's party in every way.

Kathleen and John hunted me up before they left. Kathleen hugged me, echoing Kate's hope that I didn't return to school too early, but in the same breath she told me about how she missed me. In my absence, my classes didn't fill our short hall with the spirit that had been there before. John shook my hand, telling me that they saw too little of me.

Kate came up and hugged me, then sailed toward the door. I told her how shocked I was the she had behaved like a dance hall madam. She cackled and threw back the comment over her shoulder that I was lucky that she had reined in her true nature. She said she would tell the substitute teacher that Tuesday would end her stay in my classroom, for I would be returning the next day.

Through this winding down period, a group had begun to form in the sunroom: Troy and Susan, Cody and Mindy, Jamal and Tiffany, Jarod and Valerie, Tony and Angela, Jeremy and Kenny. The couples were staying close to each other, with some sitting in chairs and on the couch but others lounging on the floor. As I passed by on my way to the kitchen to write a check for Donna, I heard snatches of conversations about our basketball team's likely ranking in the preseason polls and the likelihood of various players - like Troy and Cody - receiving league, district, and state honors. Someone was relating what she had expected in Terrors of Calculus only to discover that the teacher was an irreverent wag who always championed the underdog and connected calculus and the kind of thought it built to news stories of the day or students' interests. A new couple had sprung up - an attractive senior woman and a male sophomore! Shocker! What brought them together, but what kept them together? I was certain eyes rolled in response to that question. More talk about what a surprise Kate was. What a great party this was.

Donna was packaging and wrapping leftovers after she had restocked the table in the sunroom. She accepted the check and large tip graciously, thanking me for one of her most comfortable catering experiences. She hoped to do another for Jeremy and me soon. I accompanied her to the door. Then I moved to the family room, extinguishing most of the lights, making certain doors were locked. I heard laughter erupting in the sunroom as Tony and Jeremy verbally jousted. I decided to retire quietly. If I let our remaining guests know I was going to bed, they might feel pressured to leave. This group was a nucleus of warmth and acceptance for Jeremy and Kenny, so I wasn't going to end it prematurely.

After bedtime ablutions, I fell into bed exhausted. In fact, it was a special level of exhaustion rare with me. When it occurred I slept deeply, awakening for nothing. If I dreamed at this stage, I was at the mercy of the dream until it played itself out. On such occasions, I awoke unrefreshed, just as weary as when I went to bed. I knew that if dreams visited me, they would be about Tim. And they would seem quite real. I didn't want to share space with Tim and his boyfriend even in a dream.

While I waited to drift off, I allowed images from the party to flow through my mind. I couldn't help it - my mind turned to Tim. What was I going to do? Should I go elsewhere? How long would I have to wait for me to reach answers? Of course, Tim was with Alan tonight. They were probably making love even now. Ow! It hurt to think of it. Why? Because Alan was getting what I had had, wanted, needed. Why? Because, from Tim's perspective, Alan was better than Evan. Why can't I go to sleep? I want to be done with this kind of thought. Sleep . . . sleep . . . sleep . . .

The bedroom door slowly opened. A shadow stood in the doorway, looking at me in the bed. The figure stepped in, closing the door, walked over to the bed, putting his hands on his slender waist in a sassy posture. Stood looking down at me for the longest time. Why didn't he do something, say something? Of whom did this behavior remind me? Someone I knew. He reached down, turning on the light on the night stand. Cody!

He wasn't smiling. Just staring. More of that silent treatment. Then his hands slid his pullover up over his head, ruffling his page- boy cut. He dropped the shirt, standing still and staring. He had a nice chest - smooth dime-sized nipples on outlines pecs. Gentle abs. Then his hands moved to his belt, which he loosened, sliding the

zipper on his slacks down. He bent over, pulling off his loafers and socks, then sliding his slacks down. No underwear! Good thing I didn't know that out on the patio. I'd have thrown a boner.

He bent down, lifting the covers off of me, sliding my boxers down and off, rolling me over to make room on the bed for him. He gracefully reclined on the bed, looking down at me.

"Couldn't you say something or smile," I asked.

Instead, he leaned over and softly kissed my lips. For as cold as his exterior manner was, Cody's lips felt soft, warm, setting tingling off along the tops of my shoulders. Now why would I feel tingling there? What a weird dream!

He moved down my neck, biting softly. Now biting, however softly, seemed more in character for Cody. Down to my chest, his tongue taking swipes through the hair on my pecs until he located my nipples. He chewed those, somewhat roughly, but it made my cock steely. I reached down for his cock, grabbing it, taking its measure as I moved up to the tip, which was smaller than the barrel, back down the barrel which was amazingly thick, into a small bush around his cock. On down to his balls, which were ordinary in size, caught in a smooth sac. His cock felt about five inches long. I knew, combined with his looks, physique, and manner, that it could be a deadly weapon, deadly for one's composure and equanimity, that is.

He rose and knee-walked up to me, placing his hands gently on either side of my head, moving his cock head over my mouth, leaving precum on my lips. I let my tongue slip out to taste it - slightly salty, smooth. He gently nudged his cock head against my lips, my teeth, until I opened my mouth. He gently slid his dick into my mouth, using the bullet tip to caress my tongue. I'd never imagined anyone authoring such a gesture, nor its feeling so hot. He moved his cock deeply into my throat. My nose was buried in his pubes, which smelled only slightly musky, but I liked it. Gently placing my head on the pillow, he started fucking my mouth while his gentle fingers and hands caressed my cheeks and head.

I slid my hands up his smooth legs and around over his ass, sliding a finger into his crack and gently stroking it. Aha! I was setting up little tremors in his ass cheeks. He wasn't going to get by with this "Steely Dan" act much longer. What a dream! For once I lucked out in this deep sleep stage. Why couldn't I have dreams like this more often?

As he continued to fuck my mouth, I brought my finger up to his mouth, nudging his lips as his dick had mine, then nudging against his teeth in copycat manner. He allowed it to slip in his mouth. He sucked HARD. Cool Cody was heating up! Then I could feel his tongue laving spit over my finger. He opened his mouth. I brought my nearly dripping finger back to his crack, but I used my free hand and fingers to spread his cheeks. I moved my wet finger to his rosebud. Ah! A little whimper. He liked it. I made slow circles around his pucker.

All of a sudden, he pulled his dick from my mouth and wheeled about until his head was over my cock. He gently took it in his finger tips, licking the head. He was lapping up the precum he had caused there.

He lowered his crotch over my face, so I sucked his cock back into my mouth. I moved my finger back to his pucker, nudging ever more insistently against the muscle bundle there. He licked his finger, parted my legs and, without any preliminaries, slid it into my chute. I did the same to him. We both began sucking softly on the other and gently fucking the other with our finger. I was running my tongue all over the barrel of his cock and its head. He was doing the same. Our breaths quickened. We both moaned together, and cum shot out of our cocks, filling the other's mouth. Cody's cum was salty and sweet. We kept sucking until our cocks returned to ordinary size.

Cody slowly turned around, lay atop me, slid his arms under me, and kissed me passionately, his tongue and mine doing gentle battle. He finally arose and dressed again. He came over and looked down at me as he pulled the covers back up. "What a dream," I whispered. He turned and went out the door. He hadn't said a word through it all.

What a gentle dream, I thought, as I drifted off. How can I cause more of these?

I awakened the next morning to the smell of coffee. A Saturday. Probably a lazy Saturday given the previous evening's doings. I visited the bathroom, pulled on a robe, and crutched out to the kitchen.

Jeremy was sitting in his robe reading the morning paper, eating breakfast and having a cup of coffee. "Evan, let me get you some breakfast."

"I'll just have some coffee and yogurt." I replied. In no time at all we were back to our breakfast. He had put the paper aside.

"Evan, last night was great! Everyone had a good time. Thank you for such a memory. It would never have happened if I were still living with my folks."

"I can't tell you how much pleasure I got out of seeing you in your element. You really shine in a situation like that."

"Why didn't you come in and say good night?" Jeremy asked. "I think everyone in the sunroom thought you were back in the family room visiting. Cody went back to find you."

I stopped in mid-sip of coffee. "Cody came to find me?"

"Yeah, he said the two of you had a great visit?"

"When was this? Earlier in the evening?"

"No, about 20 minutes before everyone left. It was late."

I stared, running what I thought was a dream through my mind.

"Refresh my memory. About how long was our visit?"

He looked at me oddly. "Oh, 20 to 30 minutes."

"And everyone left about 20 minutes after that?"

"Yeah, 15 or 20. Funny thing," Jeremy observed, "Cody was grinning big time. You know Cody - he rarely smiles. Even Troy commented on it. Were you guys telling jokes or something?"

No, it couldn't be! Cody and I had sex only in a dream. I ran the dream through my mind, trying to convince myself that what was implicit in Jeremy's information wasn't so.

I looked up at Jeremy. "Cody authored a megajoke on me. He's probably still smiling now," I observed.

Why in the world would Cody do such a thing? Did it mean more trouble? I pondered that for a bit. No, Cody had been anything but unfriendly. In fact, he had been tender at certain times. He had been passionate too. So why did he do that? It didn't seem like something done on the spur of the moment. He'd been quite deliberate in his behavior, no hesitation. Wow! Another ambush! But whereas Robert and Kenny had told me beforehand their motivation for those ambushes, I hadn't a clue about Cody's motivation.

(To be continued.)

Thanks to Scott and to the Cub!