I can clearly remember the day that I first met Seth. It is as permanently etched in my psyche as the ability to speak or tie my shoes. It's not often that you see someone across a busy office and realize that he is the man with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. Special moments like that stay with you forever, whether you want them to or not. Okay, maybe I'm being overdramatic. I didn't known what role Seth would play in my life. All I knew is that I wanted to get to know him -- in a very bad way.
Seth was new to the company -- he had to be. Surely, I would have remembered seeing perfection before. He may have only been 5'4" but his aura was much bigger -- it filled the room and forced you to acknowledge his presence. He exuded confidence like a powerful pheromone that sent a signal straight to my heart and my crotch. And once ensnared by his charisma, it was impossible to ignore him ever again. Who wouldn't want to gaze into his beautiful, light brown eyes; or be blinded by his sparkling smile while listening to his infectious laugh; or watch him run his fingers through his mass of thick, curly, black hair or stroke his neatly trimmed goatee? I certainly couldn't imagine anyone so foolish. I didn't have the will power to avert my eyes from his divine beauty. Only the shame of him catching me staring at him was powerful enough to make me turn my attention the other way.
I grabbed Justin by the arm as he walked by and pulled him aside. Justin is the company's central source of gay information. If you work for the firm and you're queer, he's got the details on you. I usually didn't subscribe to his farcical inter-office gossip, but I was hoping he had some information on the new raven-haired beauty.
"What's the 411 on the hottie in the Armani?"
Once he got over the shock of me approaching him with the question, Justin followed my gaze to the person of interest. Then he turned to me and, in his customary over-the-edge lisp, said, "Oh yes, your taste in men is almost as good as your taste in clothes. That little trinket's name is Seth. He's new, been here for three weeks. He works in Accounting and he's definitely queer... but I hear he's an ice princess. He's already turned down Mike, Eduardo, and Victor in Marketing. Would you like an intro?"
"No. I think I can handle this one. Thanks, Justin."
"Anytime, sweetie... but if it doesn't work out between you and the little stud, I'm always available."
"Maybe in another life," I said to myself. I chuckled and thanked Justin again. He blew me a kiss then skipped off to share his fairy magic with another gay man in distress, leaving me to devise a plan of attack. What was I so worried about? I never had a problem approaching someone; why should he be any different?
I stepped to Seth confidently and introduced myself. He smiled and introduced himself. He said he'd heard a lot about me; that I was a celebrity in the office; and that he was glad to finally meet me. I stopped breathing for a moment and my heart skipped a beat or four. Regaining my composure, I slipped into charm mode and started spitting my game at the new boy in town. We talked for a bit -- you know, the usual introductory bullshit but with my own enchanting spin. It was going well, I guess. He seemed genuinely interested in the conversation, but he didn't seem interested in ME. He was friendly enough, but there was no subtle flirtation; no furtive glances at my crotch; no body language or audio cues that he was into me like I was into him.
I thought that maybe he was shy, or that I'd played it too cool and hadn't thrown out the right signals. So, I decided to just come right out and put it all out on the table. I invited him to lunch, or maybe even dinner -- both of which he politely declined, saying he had other plans. I understood. I also knew it was a lie. He may have had plans, but that wasn't the real reason he turned me down. I could tell. I made up some excuse about a meeting to get the hell out of there while I could still save face.
How humiliating. I'd been turned down before -- not often, mind you -- but Seth's rejection was like a brutal stab through the heart. What was this obsession with him? It wasn't just lust -- I'd experienced that feeling a thousand times in my life and it never felt so all-consuming. And it wasn't love; I hardly knew the guy. Whatever it was, it made rejection that much harder to bear. I would not be denied.
The next day, I left for a week-long assignment in Brazil. My mother went with me -- it was the first time we'd ever traveled together and the first time she'd returned to her native land in over 15 years. Whereas it should have been a chance to share in my mother's emotional homecoming, I spent most of my time brooding and moping over Seth, contemplating what went wrong, and counting the days until I could return home and try again. As only mothers can, my mom noticed the trouble in my heart but she wasn't as forthcoming with her sage advice as she usually is.
"Subconsciously, you're looking for something," she said. "This Seth you keep talking about... you seem to think he, above all others, has what you're looking for."
"What am I looking for?"
"You have to find that out for yourself; Mama doesn't know everything."
I thought about what she said and, when I got back, I decided to try again with Seth. Other than an obvious romp in the hay, I wasn't sure what I wanted from him, but I was willing to find out even if it meant contending with another ego-crushing rejection. Luckily, that's not what I got. Seth happily accepted my invitation to lunch. Maybe I'd been wrong before; maybe he hadn't been making excuses. It didn't matter. All that mattered now was that he said yes. I spent the rest of that morning preparing for lunch. Just because he agreed to have lunch with me didn't mean he was ready to give up the good. He still seemed a bit standoffish, so I knew I had to make a good impression at lunch if I wanted to take this thing to the next level.
I suggested a quiet bistro near the Capitol, but Seth wanted to grab a sandwich and have lunch out on the Mall, by the Reflecting Pool. It sounded almost romantic; how could I resist? So we stopped by Seth's favorite deli and walked a few blocks to the grassy expanse near the foot of the Lincoln Memorial. It was a beautiful spring day. The smell of cherry blossoms wafted on the warm breeze and the park was bustling with life. As we ate, we watched an impromptu rugby game being played on the other side of the pool and commented on the stunning physiques of the players. After we'd stuffed ourselves, we sat back and really started talking.
Lunch was over way too soon that day. I could have spent hours talking to Seth. He was a great guy. There was so much more to him than the outward beauty that first caught my attention. He was smart, funny, confident, and incredibly sweet. And as we talked, I found myself falling for him. It wasn't just about sleeping with him anymore -- although I still wanted to do that too -- but I was genuinely falling in love with him. And just like that, in a matter of an hour, I understood what my mother meant. That thing in my life that I was missing was love -- being loved and being in love. It was a something I hadn't felt since... Adam.
The memory of Adam had always been with me, looming ominously in the back of my mind every time I met someone, keeping me from enjoying a healthy relationship. With Seth, for the first time in years, I forgot about Adam. And it felt good. I put my hand on Seth's and lightly stroked it with my thumb, hoping that he felt the same thing I did.
We went to lunch together the next day, and the day after that, and every day that week. We'd laugh and talk and watch the rugby players. We'd watch the schoolchildren walking hand in hand to one of the museums and talk about our dreams to have a family one day. During one particularly deep and emotional conversation, Seth stopped talking and looked at me. He didn't say anything and his eyes gave no clue as to what he was thinking. Working on pure instinct, I leaned forward to give him a kiss but, instead of the sweetness of his lips, I only tasted the bitter flavor of rejection as he pulled away.
"I have to go," he said, grabbing his trash and running off.
"Seth, wait!" He kept walking away and I didn't bother to chase after him.
I spent the rest of the day sprawled out on the grass hoping the sun would melt away my grief or a runaway rugby player would trample me and put me out of my misery. Neither of those things happened, so I grabbed my trash and what was left of my heart and properly disposed of them both. It was evident, only after making a fool of myself, that Seth had no romantic interest in me; and now he probably wouldn't even talk to me.
I was wrong. That Monday morning, I saw him walking across the floor towards my desk. The boys from Accounting rarely made an appearance on the production floor, so I knew he was coming to see me. I'd had all weekend to think about what had happened the Friday before and to realize how much I really liked him. But he had already rejected me twice -- I wasn't going to be made a fool of again no matter how good he looked. As he drew near, my heart got stuck in my throat and I felt a little faint.
"Hi," he said.
"Hi," I said as unemotionally as possible.
"Can we talk... alone?"
I thought about it, and then said, "Fine. Where?"
He suggested we go to the supply room. I agreed and followed him down the hall to the supply room. He closed and locked the door behind us, which I thought was a bit extreme, but figured he wanted to maintain absolute privacy.
"I just wanted to apologize for running off like that yesterday. It's just that... I can't be with you right now. It's not that I don't want to but, you see... I'm kind of with someone else right now."
"You never mentioned a boyfriend."
"I know. Things haven't been going very well between us lately. In fact, I think he wants to break up with me, but I don't want to do anything to disrespect him. You understand?"
"Yeah, I guess...but why are you telling me this now? I think I would have been happier if I thought you didn't like me. Now you're telling me I just can't have you."
"I know and I'm sorry. You don't know how much I wanted to kiss you this afternoon... and right now."
We were so close together in the tiny storage room. I could feel the heat from his body rising to my face. Why was he doing this to me? Part of me was saying, "Fuck his boyfriend. That's his problem," but it just wasn't my style. I unlocked the door and quickly left the room.
Fuck! He could have been the one. He could have helped me forget about Adam. Instead, he just added himself to the list of men who almost were. I tried, with some degree of success, to put him out of my mind. My grief was temporarily distracted by the arrival of my new protégé, Elliott. I decided to put all of my time and energy into his development as a photographer. The trip to Switzerland put some distance between Seth and me, which also helped ease my misery.
I felt a little better by the time I got back and thought I'd succeeded in getting Seth out of my system -- that is until he showed up, unexpectedly, at Elliott's celebration party. Seeing him again made all of the feelings for him, which were too new to purge, come rushing back. God, he looked beautiful with that five o'clock shadow and his shirt and tie loosened to show off small tufts of chest hair.
Why was he even there? He didn't know Elliott and he hardly ever hung out with people from the office. I tried to get lost in the crowd but, before I could escape, he was standing at the bar beside me.
"I thought you'd be here," he said, paying the bartender for his beer.
"You were looking for me?" He took a sip of his beer and nodded. "Why?"
"I wanted to see you." He put his hand on my back. I felt the heat through my shirt and a tingle in my loins.
"You said you didn't want to get involved, Seth, and I'm cool with that. So why are you here? Why are you doing this?"
"I know what I said, but I also know what I feel. John Paul, you're the best thing that's happened to me in a long time... I'd be a fool to let that go."
"I don't want to be the other man."
"I know, baby, and you shouldn't be. You deserve better than that. But don't tell me you don't feel what I'm feeling right now."
"Nausea?"
"If you don't have feelings for me, tell me right now. I'll walk away and never bother you again... but don't make light of this."
I wanted to tell him that I didn't love him -- it would have made things simpler -- but it would have been a lie. We'd only known each other for a little while, but I felt an undeniable connection with him.
"Dance with me," he said. I shook my head. "C'mon, just one dance... I'll be good; I promise."
I knew he'd be good -- that's what concerned me. I gulped down my gin and tonic. "Okay, but just one dance."
He grabbed my hand and led me to the dance floor. The song playing had a slow, slinky beat -- the kind that warrants close, intimate movements between dance partners. Seth didn't hesitate in taking advantage of it and soon had his body pressed tightly against mine. God, he felt so nice and smelled so good. I felt his breath against my lips just before he kissed me. I don't know how long we were out there, dancing and kissing -- three songs, maybe four -- but it didn't seem long enough. It had been long enough, however, for both of us to know what we wanted to do next.
"Let's get out of here," Seth suggested.
"Okay." I would have followed him over the edge of a cliff.
We left the club in a hurry. We didn't even bother to say goodbye to our friends. We took the subway back to my place and spent the short trip exploring each others body. Our frenzied passion drew the attention of the half dozen other passengers who were on the train with us. I saw them, out of the corner of my eye, staring in shock and even disgust. But I didn't care. Let them stare.
Standing in the lobby of my apartment building, waiting for the elevator, Seth unbuttoned my shirt and started playing with my nipples. I believed he would have undressed me right there if I had let him -- and I seriously considered it. Seth continued to grab and grope my body as we stumbled down the hallway to my condo. My nosey neighbor poked her head out to see what the commotion was all about. She and her poodle got more than an eyeful when they saw Seth fumbling inside my pants while I looked for my keys.
"Hello, Ms. Jenkins. Hello, Fluffy," I said breathlessly as I unlocked the door and opened it.
"Good night, Ms. Jenkins. Good night, Fluffy," Seth moaned then pushed me through the threshold and slammed the door behind us.
We never made it past the foyer. He had me naked and bent over the entry table where I tossed my keys when I came in. I don't know where my keys were, but I knew where Seth's tongue was -- tracing a thin, slimy path down my spine, on its way to my ass crack. I grabbed the table tightly as his tongue snaked its way between my cheeks and into my hole. I loved the feel of his facial hair scratching against my soft ass while his slimy tongue probed my hole. He ate my ass with an urgency that I hadn't felt in a while. I loved every fucking minute of it, knowing what was coming next.
Seth suddenly stopped munching on my shitter. I saw him in the mirror, ripping open his shirt and fumbling with his pants. I looked over my shoulder just in time to see him spit on his thick, six-inch poker. On his small frame it looked obscenely oversized but in my ass it felt just right. It was long and thick enough that I could feel it tunneling into my tight rectum, but small enough that he could really work my ass over for hours -- if he was man enough. Let me tell you: he was man enough.
Seth fucked me with the force of a man twice his size. It's just what I wanted and exactly what I needed. But, with the height difference, his dick rammed into me at an odd angle and hit spots that didn't feel quite right. It couldn't have been very comfortable for him either, so I suggested we take it to the floor. Seth pulled out long enough for me to lie on my stomach then he lied down on top of me and plowed his eager cock back into my ass. He fucked me harder and harder for at least twenty minutes; his pace never slowing and his passion never subsiding. I ooh'd and ah'd as his furry chest and stomach continuously abraded my back. It was when the rhythm of his thrusting became irregular, after half an hour of steady humping, that I knew he was about to cum. I told him I wanted to feel his thick seed coating the inside of my ass. He was only too happy to oblige. A few labored thrusts later, Seth emptied the contents of his bloated nuts into my well-fucked ass. I felt the weight of his body on top of me as he relaxed and let the last drops of cum dribble from his cock.
Then he rolled me over and laid his head on my stomach, beside my throbbing cock. As he took the tip into his mouth, his fingers searched for my asshole. Finding his target, Seth slipped two fingers into my cummy hole. I moaned, he moaned, and his fingers dipped deeper into my sticky chute. I was already worked up and it didn't take long to take me over the top. My balls tightened up against my body and pumped out a healthy dose of sperm into Seth's mouth. He drank it as fast as I sprayed it and nary a drop did he waste. After I'd spent my load and had relaxed on the ground, Seth withdrew his fingers and licked them clean. He shimmied up my body, gave me a cum-scented kiss, and then rested his head on my chest. Exhausted and satisfied, we quickly fell asleep in each others arms.
I was the first to wake up. By my watch, I'd only been asleep for a couple of hours, but my back was stiff and my arm had fallen asleep. I shifted into a more comfortable position and ended up waking Seth. He stroked my fuzzy treasure trail then looked up at me.
"I love you," he said.
"It's just the sex talking," I said. "Guys always say they love you after they fuck you."
"Stop being so cynical... I'm serious. I love you. You're the most incredible man I've ever met and I want to be with you... forever."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying I want to go out with... be your man... be your lover... whatever you want to call it. I just want to be in your life."
"What about your boyfriend?" I sounded like a broken record asking about his boyfriend, but I needed clarification. Call me selfish, but I wasn't willing to share -- not if he was talking about a serious relationship.
"It's over between Travis and me. I'm going to tell him tomorrow." I wanted to believe him. "I'll call him right now if you..."
"No. That wouldn't be right. If you're going to end it, you owe him the respect of telling him to his face."
"Okay... you're right. I just want you to believe me when I say that I'm ready to start my life with you."
"I believe you," I said, giving him a soft kiss and stroking his hair. "I believe you."
We fucked again -- right there in my foyer. It wasn't as hurried as the first time but it was just as intense and twice as good. Seth was an incredible cocksman. He gave my ass an hour-long workout that still makes me break into a cold sweat; then he let me fuck him. It was the first time he'd ever had a dick my size in his tiny ass, but I knew a thing or two about wielding a deadly weapon and soon had him begging for more.
We woke up later that morning, fucked again, and then took a nice, long shower together. It was a Saturday; we were in no rush. I offered to cook him breakfast, but he said he wanted to go and get the breakup over with. I understood and kissed him goodbye. I almost felt bad for Travis. I felt like a home wrecker. I decided to go to the gym to work off the sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. I hated going to the gym so much I quickly forget about all of my problems.
When I got back, Seth was sitting in the lobby with a couple of suitcases.
"What's with the suitcases?" I asked, although I was pretty sure what the answer would be.
"Travis didn't take the breakup very well. He kicked me out of the apartment."
"I didn't know you lived together."
"Yeah... so now I need to find a place to stay."
"You'll stay with me, of course," I said, grabbing one of the suitcases.
"Are you sure? I know this is kind of sudden."
"Yeah, I wasn't expecting a live-in boyfriend so soon, but what the hell. I guess we're official now," I said with a smile.
He smiled back, gave me a kiss and said, "Baby, we were official the first day I met you."
He knew just what to say to make my heart melt, though I must admit, with him, it didn't take much. We took his bags up to my place, got naked and spent the rest of the weekend having sex -- with brief breaks to eat, sleep, and take care of other personal matters.
Seth was the perfect boyfriend. He was sweet, caring, and devoted. He was attentive and loving. And, on top of all that, he was a skilled and insatiable lover. When I was away on a photo shoot, he'd fill my inbox with dozens of emails every day, telling me how much he missed me. As excessive as it was, it made me feel loved and wanted. When I returned, I'd find another one of my moving boxes unpacked and the contents put away right where they belonged. He'd have a meal waiting for me followed by a night of "welcome back" sex.
It wasn't until two months into our relationship that things started to change. He was as sweet and caring as he had always been, but he wasn't there as much as he used to be. When I was away, I was lucky if I got one email from him. When I was home, he didn't have time to go to lunch with me anymore and there were no more early morning quickies before work. As happy as I was to get a break from him constantly being there, emailing and calling, I was concerned with the sudden lack of attention. I shrugged it off because, as they say, the honeymoon was over. We'd been dating for a couple of months and the newness of our relationship had faded. It happens to all relationship; why would ours be any different?
I didn't shrug it off, however, when he didn't show up to see me get my first big journalism award. I'd been talking about it for weeks and he knew how important it was to me. There was no excuse -- short of personal injury or a death in his family -- that would forgive him. He wasn't even at the condo when I got there. I paced around the apartment, waiting for his return. 11:30 rolled around and I heard the key slip into the lock. He knew as soon as he opened the door and saw the expression on my face that he had fucked up.
"Where were you?!" I attacked. "You knew how important tonight was to me; you should have been there! Everybody was there except you!"
"I know, baby! I'm sorry... but... something came up and..."
"Something came up?!? Something? What the fuck is something and why was it more important than my award?"
"I can't talk to you; you're too upset."
"You missed one of the most important events in my life and all you have to say is, `Something came up.' I'm not mad; I'm furious!"
"John Paul, I'm sorry. I can't change the fact that I fucked up; I can only try to make it better. I'd do anything to make it better because I love you. It hurts me so much to see you like this. C'mon baby, don't be mad. I promise I'll never let you down again."
He was stroking my arm. I should have pushed him away right then, but I didn't, and because I didn't, he was able to slide in and kiss me. It was a little kiss, soft and sweet on my pouting lip, followed by another. I was still mad, but all I remember thinking is how much I didn't want him to stop kissing me. And he didn't. He continued to kiss me while his hands slowly unbuttoned my shirt. I didn't try to stop him, nor did I resist when he unbuckled my pants.
In a series of events too vague to remember, I ended up on the bed, hugging the pillows while Seth filled my ass with his beautiful cock. With each exquisite thrust he whispered, "Please forgive me." I moaned his forgiveness over and over again. It was just a stupid journalism award, right? He apologized and promised he'd never do something like that again; what more could he do? I came into all over the sheets just as he blasted his hot semen into me. I fell asleep in my pool of cum with Seth's weight resting on my back and his cock still buried in my ass. And everything was okay.
It was just a stupid award, right? He apologized and promised he'd never do something like that again; that's all that's important, right? It didn't seem so far-fetched at the time, because I loved him and he loved me... right?
A few nights later, I'd just returned from a brief trip to Canada. Seth wasn't home. It was still early yet and he wasn't expecting me back until tomorrow. I figured he'd decided to go to the bar with some friends. That's what he usually did while I was away. I certainly didn't expect him to stay at home and pine away until I returned. Quite honestly, I was glad he wasn't home. I was exhausted and all I wanted to do was take a hot shower and crawl into bed. So that's just what I did.
I slept like a log and didn't even notice Seth come in... that's because he hadn't come in. I rolled over and his side of the bed hadn't been touched. I thought it was a bit odd, but brushed that aside as well. I got out of bed and went to the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. Just as I sat down with the paper and my cup of java, I heard the key in the door then saw Seth strolling in. He looked like he'd had a rough night, but he was still sexy.
He turned the corner and saw me sitting there. "What are you doing home?" he asked. "I thought your flight came in tonight."
"We finished up early, so I changed my flight. I got in last night."
"Did you have a good trip?" he asked, walking over to me and giving me a kiss on the cheek. He reeked of booze.
"Yeah... where the hell have you been? You smell like a brewery."
"I went out drinking with Ben and Stu. I had a little too much so I stayed over Stu's house," he explained. "I wish I'd known you were coming home early; I would've stayed in. I missed you something fierce." He nuzzled my neck and softly kissed the spot just below my ear that drove me wild.
"I missed you too," I said softly, getting lost in the moment. "As much as I'd love to play, shouldn't you get ready for work?"
"I think I'll call in sick."
"I'm not sure that's such a good idea."
"Why not; don't you want me to stay home with you?" His hand slowly slid up my thigh until it came to rest on my still sleeping cock. His touch could do what three cups of coffee couldn't. He showered my neck with kisses and gave my dick a gentle squeeze.
"I guess one day of hooky wouldn't hurt," I mumbled.
Seth spun me around on the stool and threw my robe open. After feasting his eyes on my half-naked body for a while, he slid his fingers into the waistband of my boxers and slid them off. He was bent over and sucking on my cock before my boxers hit the floor. Boy could he suck a cock! Seth was excellent at every aspect of sex. His loving was addictive. Although I'd never admit it at the time, there were nights when we were apart that I couldn't sleep because I hadn't had my daily fix. No matter how bad my day was, when Seth was through fucking me, sucking me, or riding me, everything was alright.
I leaned back against the kitchen counter and let Seth work his oral magic on my aching dick. His tonsils firmly gripped the thick head while his tongue swirled and flickered around the solid shaft. I loved the gagging and slurping sounds he made even though he was nowhere near the limit of how much dick he could swallow. It always amazed me how quickly he could get me off the first time; that day was no exception. It was like he was sucking the cum right out of my nuts. Sensing the tension in my hips, he pulled my dick out of his mouth and started jacking it. He hovered over the angry red tip with his mouth open and ready to accept my load. Seeing him like that was all the incentive I needed. With a savage growl I squirted my nut all over his face, hair, shirt and tie.
"Aw shit, Seth, that's so fucking hot," I said, looking down at his cum-splattered face.
He licked his lips and said, "Yeah, but now I really need a shower."
"You need help scrubbing your back?" I asked.
He grinned and led me by my softening cock to the bathroom where we spent hours exploring each others bodies in every conceivable position. By the end of the day, we were both whipped and cuddled up for bed. As I lay my head on the pillow, I started to think about the things that had happened that day. Something didn't set well with me... but I didn't quite know what it was. I soon forgot about it and drifted off to sleep.
As time passed, Seth became even less attentive and even more irresponsible. He'd come in all times of the night or not at all. When he was home, he didn't want to have sex nearly as much as he used to, and only when he initiated it. There were no more emails while I was away and there were no more "welcome home" fucks when I returned. I questioned him about it a few times and he'd always shrug it off or tell me he was "just feeling stressed." When I tried to help him, he'd say he could manage it himself. Then there were the late night calls on his cell phone while we were asleep. He'd quietly sneak out of the room to take the call, not thinking the ring had woken me up as well.
As much as I tried to deny it, it soon became too obvious to ignore -- Seth was cheating on me. I was more frustrated than angry. I loved him so much and just wanted things back the way they used to be.
It all came to a head one night. Seth and I had a huge argument, cursing and screaming for hours. He finally decided he'd had enough of my "accusations and interrogation," and stormed out of the apartment. I'd had enough too. It was over! I was angry with him, but I was furious with myself; furious for not seeing what was going on and furious for not being strong enough to end it sooner. But no more! I took a shower and went to bed. I figured there was no need to wait up for him -- he wouldn't be back anytime soon.
I lay in bed, tossing and turning, watching the hours slowly creep by. To my horror and surprise, I heard the key in the door. Over the months, I'd grown conditioned to the sound of it; I longed to hear it, knowing that it meant my Seth was home. That night, despite all the fighting and all the hurt feelings, I found myself still happy to hear the distinctive click of the lock.
"No! Not this time!" I said to myself. "This ends now!" But I was struck with paralysis, unable to move or speak as I heard his footsteps on the hardwood floors. I lay silently as he entered the room and slowly undressed. He slipped beneath the covers and cuddled up next to me, his hardness pressed against the small of my back, and I was defenseless. My mind told me to get away, but my body wouldn't obey; it only had one master and he was gently caressing it in all the spots he knew it loved to be caressed.
"I'm sorry," he whispered and, like a guided missile, his dick found my hole. With one thrust he was buried completely in me and I was beyond salvation. He grunted like a pig and fucked me with short, powerful jabs; just the way I liked. It felt good... it felt really good! I came quickly and powerfully, and so did he. When he was done, he held me tight and fell asleep.
I lay awake, in his embrace. It felt so right, but I knew it was wrong. I carefully slipped out of his arms and out of bed. I took a shower to wash away the dirt and shame, got dressed and kneeled by the bed. I watched him sleep. He looked so peaceful... so beautiful.
"Seth. Seth! Wake up!"
Seth's eyes shot open and he sat up in bed. "I'm up, I'm up! What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong," I said calmly. "I'm going to my parents' house for a few days. When I get back, I want you gone."
"But..."
"Don't say anything, Seth... it would just be a lie. Just pack your things and leave."
I stood and walked away before he could think of something sweet to say to lure me back into his trap. The sad thing is that it probably wouldn't have taken much.
The weather in L.A. was wonderful. I spent most of my time in the pool, hoping to swim myself into exhaustion so I'd forget about the heartache. It never worked before, but it was worth another try. I saw my father walking towards the pool and swam to the end where he was standing. He had that stiff-chinned look of concern that all dads learned in father training.
"That Seth guy called again," he said.
"What did you tell him?"
"I told him you weren't here," he answered. His chin got stiffer. "You're going to have to face him eventually, you know."
"I know, dad... just not right now."
Not ever, actually. By the time I got back, Seth had moved out and moved on to the next sorry bastard and, except for an occasional awkward elevator ride, Seth was out of my life. However, that old familiar feeling that rose from the pit of my stomach whenever I saw him reminded me that he would never be out of my system.