Even though I had been temporarily stunned, I was sure this would all blow over in a matter of a few hours – or days at most. Shelly and I were all smiles as we walked hand in hand into the kitchen. Mom was waiting for us, glowing, expecting to hear that she was finally going to be getting another girl into the family. The change in her expression wasn't very subtle as she looked for a ring on Shelly's finger and didn't see one.
"Shelly's agreed to marry me mom," I bubbled.
Her look again changed, this time from concern, to questioning.
"Shelly told me I had to pass a test before she'd wear my ring."
"Oh? And that is?"
"I can't tell you." I felt my face redden, still trying to make myself believe it was just a joke that Shelly was trying to pull on me.
Again her look changed – this time to one of alarm, and I sensed she was thinking the same thing my roommate had thought – that being: that we needed a test drive to know if we were truly compatible.
"Relax, mom. It has nothing to do with the bedroom."
I must have guessed right, because she immediately looked relieved, and pulled us into a group hug.
"Well whatever it is, Phillip, I'm sure you'll pass. Congratulations, Michelle, I can't believe my little boy is going to be getting married. He couldn't have chosen any better. After all the things we went through with you when you were a teenager... I'm so happy for the two of you."
"E-ed," she hollered as she spun around and headed for the living room.
I turned and kissed Shelly.
"Are you sure you won't wear the ring?" I whispered. "I mean like it's a done deal for me. The worst part is gonna be getting up the nerve to actually do it."
Shelly wriggled her eyebrows and smiled, as if to say "we'll see."
She seemed determined, and that scared me.
`
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Dear journal,
Thoughts about today: Shelly really surprised me when I popped the question and she said I had to kiss Elijah first. I can't believe she's serious though. Still, what if she is? I know I told her I'd do anything for her, but this is kind of ridiculous. I may hate it but if that's what it takes, I'm sure God will give me the strength to do it.
Even if she does make me do it, there won't be anything to compare. What we did in the car after dinner was absolutely the best kiss we've ever had. God please don't let Elijah get any crazy ideas about what it means if I end up having to do it.
Honesty time: Just thinking about having to kiss him is scaring me. Dear God, please don't let her force me to do this.
What I learned: I don't really understand women all that well – at least not Shelly.
`
Christmas day broke bright and clear. By the time I dragged myself out of bed, Sam and Arn were sitting at the end of the hallway staring at the Christmas tree. That was as far as they were allowed to go until everyone was up and ready to open gifts.
I had bought Shelly an official Penn State lacrosse jersey with the number "6" displayed prominently on the back. It was the number of her favorite player, Alejandro Pe?a, and I couldn't wait for her to open it.
"You got something for me?" I asked, feigning surprise as she handed me a small package wrapped in golden holiday paper.
I sat and tried to act like I wasn't as excited as Arn was over the gift he had just been handed by carefully trying to undo the tape without destroying the paper.
"Just open it, Carrot Top. It's not like you're going to reuse the paper."
Mom's jaw just about hit her chest when she heard Shelly use that nickname. She knew how much I had despised those words when I was little. ...that I had often resorted to punching the one taunting me with them.
"Will wonders never cease," she said as she turned to Ed.
"Cut it out, Tootsie," I squealed as she dug her fingers into my ribs and tried to wrest the package away from me.
"Will you just open it, already?"
Inside was a gold cross with a small diamond set into the face of it, strung onto a necklace.
My face had to have been beaming as she draped it around my neck and fastened the clasp.
"Gotcha!" she mischievously taunted as I pulled her onto my lap and kissed her.
"All right you two," Ed deadpanned, "there are young eyes present."
Sammy and Aaron were both trying hard not to watch, but I could see that Sammy was bashfully smiling. I wondered to myself if he had a secret girlfriend.
After dinner, where as expected we ate far more than we should have, I pulled Shelly onto my lap again.
"I hope you saved a little room for more dessert," I said patting her stomach lightly. "My real dad and his family want to see me too."
"What do you mean, your real dad and his family?" she asked as she eyed up Ed.
Ed smiled. "I'm sure that's not the last little surprise either of you will spring on each other."
"Remember I told you? Ed's my step-dad. It wasn't until my senior year of high school that I even met my real dad."
"I was a teenage statistic, Michelle," mom began explaining. "I partied a lot in high school, and found myself pregnant with Phillip my senior year. He never knew about it until some people began to ask him about his real father, Gilbert O'Shea. My, but you certainly do look an awful lot like him, Phillip."
We drove across town and pulled up in front of a small Cape Cod, strings of icicle lights hanging off the eaves.
"I'm nervous, Phil. Do they even know I'm coming with you?"
"They won't mind at all," I assured her, running my hand through her sandy blond hair.
"Okay. If you think it's alright."
I walked around the car and opened the door for Shelly, took her hand in mine and walked up the path to the front door. A world of memories brought a sudden smile to my face...
`
It was August of my senior year of high school. I had pretty much settled into our new home in Stirling Heights. We moved there when Ed took a job as head pharmacist of the new chain drugstore that had opened. Unless he had moved recently, I knew my biological dad probably lived in this town too, and wondered if I would eventually run into him.
It happened the first week after we moved. I had gone to dad's store to check it out, and he was standing in the vitamin aisle near the pharmacy counter. We both did a double take when our eyes met. It was almost like we were both standing in front of a mirror. I saw the woman who was standing with him, presumably his wife, raise her eyebrows and sort of catch her breath.
I kept walking toward Ed, to say hi to him, but after I took a few steps I felt my knees go weak, and turned around to look again. He and the woman were both gone. Ed raised his eyebrows when he saw me. Although he never mentioned anything, I think he had witnessed what had taken place. Nothing was ever said about it at home either, but that night, mom did seem a bit more attentive to me, stopping often to squeeze my shoulder or fluff the frizz on top of my head that was badly in need of cutting.
I didn't run into the man again, but on the fourth of January, my eighteenth birthday mom slid two cards across the table to me. The top one was a corny birthday card from the family. We all had a good laugh when I read it. Then when I picked up the second one and looked at the return address, everyone went silent. It was from Mr. Gilbert O'Shea – a birthday card – and inside, a fifty dollar bill and a letter.
Dear, Phillip
I struggle to write this after all these years of pretending like you didn't exist. When my wife and I saw you in the drugstore last year, we had a very difficult time coming to terms with things. She never knew about you, but after laying me eyes on you, there was no denying to her you were my own flesh and blood. Please understand that it's only because life is so complicated that I never sought you out before now. When your grandmother, God bless her, told us all those years ago she thought it was best for all if we didn't make an issue out of youthful indiscretion, I thought I could forget about what had happened.
It wasn't until you called that day three years ago, I knew I would one day have to face up to what I'd done, and take responsibility for it – not only to your mother, but to you as well. Me wife, Alicia, knew the minute she saw ye in the store that there was something I hadn't told her. I tried to convince her it was just one of those weird things in life, but she bloody well knew different than that. A woman seems to have a sixth sense about those things. I finally confessed everything to her, and then we discussed how we might try to make things right for everyone.
First off, I want to ask you to forgive me for not acknowledging you before now. It was so very wrong of me to do that.
Secondly, and I realize this might be very difficult for the both of us, but we want to invite you and your family to dinner someday soon so after all these years, I can finally meet the first son I fathered. I've already spoken to your mother and asked her permission to send you this card, so she knows about what I'm asking you. I understand if you want nothing to do with me, and I won't try to contact ye again if that's the case.
Wishing you the very best,
Happy Birthday, son,
Sincerely,
Gilbert O'Shea
`
The door bursting open and my dad's jolly voice brought my thoughts back to earth.
"Phillip," the short, red-haired man yelled, and immediately pulled me into a tight bear hug. "...and who's the fine looking young lady ya got on yer arm?"
"Dad, I want you to meet a very special person. This is my soon to be fiancé, Michelle Dade."
"Alicia, did ya hear that hon? Phillip's gettin' married."
Gil's wife made her way across the room and took mine and Shelly's hands in hers.
"Don't you look all sweet standing there beside each other. Come in, come in. Make yourselves at home, you two. I hope you saved some room for dessert. I've been baking up a storm all week."
Chad and Liza, my half-brother and sister, were in the next room watching something on the television. We had never really hit it off too well. I guessed, mostly due to the fact that Gil and I had spent so much time together the summer before I left for college. We had had a lot of catching up to do, and I just figured they were jealous that I took up so much of his time.
We talked and laughed into the evening, at which time I had a healthy slice of pecan pie topped with a large scoop of vanilla ice cream just to prove to Alicia that I appreciated her hospitality, and before we knew it, the clock was chiming ten.
"You'll be sure ta tell us when the big day's a comin'?"
"You're at the top of the guest list, dad."
"That's my boy." Then before he hugged me good-bye, tears welled up in his eyes. "Just ta think of all the years we missed b'cause of me bein' a stubborn fool."
"Thanks dad. I love you. Bye Alicia. Thanks for dessert," I called across the room, and we headed home to prepare for stage three of our holiday – a visit to Shelly's parents. They had found super-saver airfare from Allentown to Pittsburg for the day after Christmas, and had bought them for us so we would get there sooner. Oh joy!