All the Ways I Love You
This story is about male/male relationships and contains graphic descriptions of sex.
You should not read this story if it is in any way illegal due to your age or residence.
This is a work of pure fiction. It mixes fictional characters and events with real people. However any real person mentioned in this work is purely an actor playing a part. This story in no way is meant to imply anything about the sexuality, personality, or behavior of the actual person.
Copyright 2003 Jason Calme. This story is the sole property of its author and may not be copied in whole or in part or posted on any website without the permission of the author.
Questions and commentary can be sent to "JasonCalme@yahoo.com".
Chapter 5
It was a little after midnight when we began to tire. We'd drunk a little more than we should have - or at least Tony, Justin and I had - and we were all yawning and starting to lean against the furniture. I was wondering how to end the evening and what would happen next. I was trying to think of a way to ask Justin if he wanted to do something tomorrow, but I was a bit embarrassed with Tony and Abby sitting there. Would my haltering, stuttering effort to ask him casually if he was doing anything tomorrow be so obvious to everyone that I'd be too embarrassed to get through it? What if he said no?
What if he said yes?
Maybe when we left I'd ask him. I'd at least walk him out and stay with him until he found a cab. That'd give us a few moments together. I was trying to think of what to say...how to say it. Maybe we could even share a cab back. But that would depend on where he was staying.
I had to do something tonight. I had to find out if there was any hope. I couldn't just let him walk out of my life again with out knowing. But how to do it?
As it turned out, Abby solved the problem for me.
"Ethan," she said
"Huh," I snapped out of my thoughts.
"I just asked you if you were staying tonight. The beds all made up."
"Oh," I said while trying to think what to do. I often stayed over with them, but that would mean spending less time - even if only ten or fifteen minutes - with Justin. Better to decline.
"Justin," Abby continued before I could answer, "you can stay too. We have a pull-out couch. And then we could all go out for breakfast in the morning."
"Thank you very much," he said politely, "but I can't."
I felt a lurch in my stomach. For a second I had thought I was going to spend a lot more time with him.
"Why not?" Abby persisted.
"It'd be too much trouble for you," Justin answered.
"No trouble at all," Abby shook her head. "You're staying, I insist."
Justin looked unsure of what to say, and he glanced at me nervously, then turned back to Abby. "Well, okay. Thanks," he said.
"Justin," I said, and he turned back to me. "You don't have to stay if you don't want to. Don't let Abby strong arm you into something you don't want to do." I mentally slapped myself; I was talking him out of staying even though that was what I wanted him to do.
"What? You don't want him to stay?" Abby snapped at me.
"I didn't say that," I protested, and Justin smirked at me.
"So you do want him to stay?" she said slowly. She had a huge smile on her face and she was oh-so enjoying this.
"Ah...yeah, but only if he wants to," I answered weakly, though I felt I was being manipulated. If she wasn't conspiring in my favor I would have been really mad at her.
"See Justin, Ethan wants you to stay, so you have to stay...unless you don't want to," Abby smiled triumphantly.
"I'll stay," he said.
"Great! Tony, can you sort out some things for them to sleep in?"
Tony looked at her blankly. Normally I just slept in my shorts and t-shirt. "Sweatpants or something," Abby prompted.
"Oh, sure!" said Tony getting up.
"And see if there's an extra toothbrush for Justin." Then Abby turned back to us. "Okay, so you need to figure out who's sleeping where, and we need to make up the couch, it'll just take a few minutes."
"Justin can have the bedroom," I said.
"No I'll take the couch," said Justin.
"Justin," I protested, "you're the guest. You heard Tony, I practically live here! Come on I'll show you the bedroom."
"Okay," Justin said a little reluctantly. I figured there'd be more discussion later.
Justin followed me down the hall to the room that Tony and Abby used as a spare bedroom, and as a sometime office. Tony had a computer set up on a desk, though I'd never seen him do any work there other than surf the Internet. The bed was simply a queen sized mattress and box spring on concrete blocks. Something Tony had had when he was single. I think Abby wanted to get rid of it and get a proper bed, but Tony didn't. I don't think he was sentimental, he just didn't see the point in spending the money.
"Here you go," I said to Justin waving at the bed.
"How about we toss for it?" Justin said, pulling out a coin. Just then Abby came in looking a little harried.
"Hey guys," she said, "the sheets for the pull-out are in the wash. Can you just share?"
"What?!" I almost fainted, "share the bed?"
"Oh no!" said Justin looking totally embarrassed, and stepping away with his hands up.
"I'll just sleep on the couch without the sheets," I said hastily. "It'll be fine."
Abby looked at us both as though we were nuts. I had the strong suspicion that she was trying to engineer us into the bed together.
"Okay," she said, "I'll put out the blankets," and she stepped out of the room and Justin and I stood there staring at each other, both embarrassed.
"Maybe I should go," Justin said finally.
"No. Don't do that. You sleep here and I'll sleep on the couch...hell I'm half pissed and probably won't notice the difference," and I smiled and Justin smiled back and he nodded an okay. "Come on," I said, "let's see if Tony found you a toothbrush."
Just then Tony appeared at the door with a toothbrush and a couple of pairs of sweatpants and tops for us. So we were all set. I already have a toothbrush in the bathroom; I told you I spend a lot of time there. Tony told Justin to help himself to towels and washcloths in the cupboard in the bathroom and then he disappeared and we were standing alone in the room again.
There was an awkward silence for a couple of seconds.
"Ah Ethan," Justin began.
"Yeah?"
"You know we could..." and he looked away from me shyly, "we could share the bed...there's plenty of room and...I wouldn't mind."
He looked back into my eyes and I felt a rush of fear and excitement running through me.
"You sure it's okay?" I asked. "I don't mind the couch."
"I don't mind," he repeated quietly.
"Okay...you want to use the bathroom first?"
"Sure" he replied, and went off to brush his teeth and what ever else he was going to do.
I closed the door and quickly changed into the sweatpants and top, feeling a little over dressed considering it was still summer. I pulled off the top, deciding to go with just a T-shirt, and was tossing it onto the chair I'd thrown the rest of my clothes on when there was a knock at the door. I opened it to find Tony standing there with a huge smile on his face.
"Need anything?" he asked.
"All set," I said, but he came in and closed the door.
"I brought you this," he said with a huge smile on his face and held up a box of condoms and a tube of something.
"What!"
"Just in case!" he laughed, "I'll put them in the night table, just in case there's an emergency," and he winked, and walked over and opened the drawer in the night table by the bed and dropped them in.
"Tony, will you please take that shit out of here. I'm going to die if he sees it. It's not funny!"
"Hey, I was a boy scout. Be prepared! If you don't need it, you don't need it," he smirked and I was just about to go over and force him to remove them when the door opened and Justin stepped in. Tony had already closed the drawer and he smiled at Justin. "Anything you need Justin?" he asked casually, winking at me.
"I'm okay, thanks," Justin replied.
"Okay, well I'll see you in the morning," said Tony, and with a quick good night he left.
I stood there nervously wondering how to get rid of the time bomb in the nightstand without Justin seeing, and then realized that Justin was probably waiting for me to leave so that he could change.
"I'm going to go brush," I said, and he nodded. I went down to the kitchen and found Abby still finishing tidying up. I saw that there were no blankets on the couch.
"You need a hand?" I asked her.
"All done, thanks," she smiled. "You boys all set?"
"Yeah, we're going to sleep in there," I said hesitantly.
Abby nodded, "I thought you would."
"What does that mean?" I asked accusingly.
"Nothing."
"The sheets aren't really in the wash, are they?"
"Ethan!" she smirked. "What are you suggesting?"
"Oh I don't know, just a feeling I have."
She smiled, "Think of it as an early Christmas present."
"Thanks," I replied dryly, "you'll pay for this."
"Be nice to me," she said, "or I might find the sheets after all."
I figured I wasn't going to get the best of this discussion, so I said good night, grabbed a glass and went to the bathroom.
After brushing my teeth I stood in the bathroom for a moment, collecting my thoughts. Studying myself in the mirror. I didn't look that good. It had been a long day, and I think the large meal and alcohol had taken their toll. I washed my face and brushed my hair.
Not much improvement.
Okay, smile...No, that looks stupid...Smile naturally...That doesn't look very natural...Maybe don't smile...
I'd never been that self-conscious about my looks. I know I'm no super model, but I think I look okay. I've had people interested in me. People said I was attractive. But I just wasn't in the same league as Justin. I was no replacement for Britney.
Shit! What am I thinking about? Why do I even think I have a chance with Justin? I'm getting way ahead of myself. Don't do anything stupid here.
Damn! I'd been thinking of asking him if he wanted to do something with me. Kind of suggest something like a date. See what his reaction was. It wasn't being very brave.
Maybe I should just come out and say something like 'Hey Justin, are you interested in...' uh...well see that was the problem. What did I ask? 'Would you go on a date with me?' But I knew I'd never get up the nerve to say that.
And I couldn't ask him now. Before going to bed. That would be impossible. I'd have to wait until the morning. This was going to be a hard night...
There was a knocking at the door.
"Hey Ethan," Abby called, "are you about done in there?"
"Yeah, just a minute," I called.
I put away my toothbrush and opened the door. Abby was standing there smiling.
"Ah...goodnight," I said again.
"I'm sure you will," she said smirking.
I rolled my eyes and went back to the bedroom, pulling the door closed behind me.
Justin was sitting in the bed wearing a t-shirt, and I noticed that the sweatpants, along with his clothes, were folded and sitting on the desk. I picked up my jeans and shirt that I'd thrown over the chair, and hastily folded them and put them on the chair, along with the other sweat shirt, while Justin watched me with an amused expression on his face.
"What?" I asked finally as I walked towards the bed.
"You don't have to fold them because of me," he said.
"Oh," I said stopping, and then I turned around, picked up the clothes. and slowly and deliberately rearranged them the way they had been when I had come in. Justin was snickering as I did it. When I finished, I turned and held out my hands as though presenting a game show prize, and started walking back.
"Though you should know," he said trying not to laugh, "I don't allow slobs to stay at my house!"
"Great!" I said in an exasperated tone, and turned as though I was going to fold the clothes again. I picked up the sweatshirt and Justin was snickering at me so I threw it at him.
"Hey!" he shouted, and fired it back at me, and we threw it back and forth a couple of times until I said, "That's enough" and chucked it at the chair.
I pulled back the bedclothes and climbed in, for a second seeing the boxer briefs that Justin was wearing. I felt the blood rushing to my other head and shook slightly from the excitement and apprehension. I wasn't sure if Justin noticed.
"You all set?" I asked Justin.
He looked at me and nodded, his eyes bright and shiny. "Yeah," he said, and I reached over and turned out the light on the night table.
It was surprisingly light in the room with the light off. The bedroom has two windows on one wall, and the blinds aren't very thick, so light from the street makes the room glow. I tried to get into a comfortable position, careful not to touch Justin under the covers. I mean I wanted to. The idea of touching even just a bare leg was making my mind spin out of control, but I couldn't do it.
I lay on my right side, which is the side I normally sleep on. But that meant I was facing Justin, and it was so distracting. And it felt wrong. Normally I sleep on the other side of the bed and are facing out. I can't seem to sleep facing into the bed, I have to face out. It's weird, but that's the way I am.
I tried my left side. It had been so long since I'd slept on that side it felt odd. But I lay there, trying to get to sleep.
I could hear Justin fidgeting a little. There was a faint sound. I couldn't quite figure out what it was. But Justin seemed to gulp and then lie very still for a few seconds. Then he started making this hissing noise and I turned over to look at him.
He turned to look at me and it was obvious he was trying not to laugh and he couldn't hold it in any longer. He just seemed to explode. Giggling like made.
"Did you just burp?" I asked.
"No...Yes!" he said, laughing even harder.
"What?" I said. I didn't get the joke. Why was burping so funny?
I moved over to shove him playfully, just to get him to shut up and then...
"Fuck! Was that you!" I demanded, almost choking and Justin half sat up, still giggling uncontrollably. "You bastard!" I said and I shoved him and he fell off the bed.
"Shit! You okay?" I said, leaning over the bed to see where he'd landed.
"Yeah! Think so," he said looking up at me, all serious for a moment. I looked into his eyes and he stared back into mine and then I couldn't help it, I started giggling. He broke into a huge smile and started laughing too and I reached out and shoved him on the shoulder.
"You asshole!" I said, though I said it good naturedly.
We were both laughing now. He was on the floor snickering, and I was...well I couldn't stop laughing either. I slid back away from him.
"Oh God! It stinks in here," I said, pulling the covers back and forth, trying to air the place out. "Someone light a candle."
Justin just cackled on the floor. I think he was so embarrassed he could only laugh.
"Do that again and you're out of here," I said. Justin's head poked up over the side of the bed.
"Sorry," he said between giggles, though he didn't really sound it.
He climbed back into bed and we straightened up the covers and lay back down.
He looked at me with a huge smile on his face and I just shook my head and lay down again.
For the next five minutes we lay there. He'd giggle. Then I'd giggle.
Then he'd giggle.
Then I kicked him. "Will you stop that?" I said, trying to sound mad.
"Okay," he said, still laughing.
Finally we calmed down, but I still couldn't seem to sleep.
I tried the left side again, but it didn't seem right. So then I tried lying on my back with my hands by my sides and staring up at the ceiling. I never fall asleep on my back, but I was getting desperate.
"You okay?" came Justin's voice, quietly through the night.
"Yeah..." I replied, "just having a little difficulty getting comfortable."
"Oh, you want me to go?"
"No! I'll be fine. It sometimes takes me a while to get to sleep...Sorry, am I keeping you up?"
"No, it's okay, I can't sleep either," and I heard him moving and I turned my head and he was right next to me, lying on his side and staring at me. Even in the poor light I could see him blush a little at me when I looked at him. I wondered if he was still a little embarrassed about what happened.
"I like your friends," he said.
"They're great...they're my best friends," I said.
He nodded.
"Sorry about the fifth degree," I apologized, "Abby sometimes acts like my big sister."
"That's okay," Justin smiled at me, and then his eyes went to the night table and back to me. A feeling of panic swept over me. "So what did Tony drop off for us?" Justin asked, in an exaggeratedly curious tone of voice.
"Drop off for us?" I asked, trying to play ignorant.
"In the night table," and before I could do anything Justin lunged over me so that his chest was over mine, and he pulled open the drawer and was grabbing at the contents. The feeling of Justin lying on top of me seemed to cause my brain to overload and I didn't know what to do so I just lay frozen. Justin mean while pulled back and turned slightly so that his upper body was still on top of me, but now his head was above mine and he was looking at the condoms and the tube in his left hand, while supporting some of his weight with his right arm. I just lay there turning all shades of red, though I doubted he could see in the light. He had a huge grin on his face and he looked down at me.
"Looks like Tony thought you were going to get lucky!" Justin teased.
"Oh God! Justin, I'm so sorry," I felt like I was going to cry, I was so embarrassed. This was going to ruin everything! How could Tony have done this stupid, stupid thing? I should have slept on the couch, "I...I...they just got the wrong idea...I'm so, so sorry," and I was struggling to get up, not noticing that Justin was actually holding me down.
"It's okay, Ethan! It's okay," I heard him say, but I couldn't bring myself to face him.
I did realize that he was holding me down though, and I stopped struggling and just lay there, not facing him, breathing heavily and wondering what to do next.
"Ethan, Ethan," Justin repeated, "Look at me," he whispered. But I couldn't, I just lay there. "Please Ethan, it's okay."
I turned slowly to see his eyes staring at me, deep pools that seemed filled with concern.
"I'm sorry Ethan, I shouldn't have kidded you about it...I already knew they were in there."
"You knew?" I gasped.
"Yeah, I heard you and Tony, and when you were in the bathroom I looked in there."
"I'm sorry," I repeated. Oh God! I just wanted a hole to open up and swallow me whole.
"It's okay," he said quietly. "I think it's kind of nice them trying to set us up like this." He smiled at me but I just felt even more embarrassed. "I'm guessing the sheets weren't really in the wash?" he asked ruefully.
"I'm sorry, this was...I don't know why they did this...I guess I'd told Abby how much I liked you and they just assumed it was a sexual thing. They got it wrong, I'm really sorry."
He frowned, "You mean you don't like me...sexually?"
"No...I mean I really like you as a friend, not as..." I was having a lot of trouble lying convincingly, "I mean I don't want to go to bed with you..." and I realized where we were and how silly that sounded, "I mean...oh fuck!"
Justin laughed, "It's okay...they meant well. They weren't to know I don't fuck on a first date," and he grinned and tossed the stuff back into the drawer.
"Right!" I laughed, trying to make light of the events too. Maybe things weren't completely ruined. We could just forget about this and move on. Still be friends.
"We'd have to date a few more times before we did that," Justin went on and I laughed thinking he was joking, but his face had turned serious and now he was staring intently into my eyes. I stared back but couldn't figure out what I was seeing and I looked away nervously. I didn't want him to know how much I'd hoped he was serious. I tried to think of something to say, but couldn't help noticing that Justin was still lying very heavily on top of me.
"Ethan," Justin whispered, and I turned back to face him. His eyes were wide and he slowly leaned toward me, staring, staring, into my eyes as he came closer and closer. His head tilted slightly and his eyes closed just as his soft warm lips touched mine.
Shit!
I mean, shit!
Oh God! What is happening?
I just lay there as his lips slid across mine, and he turned his head a little, groaning into me, and his hands came to wrap around my head.
I kept expecting the joke. For Justin to yell 'psych!' and start tickling me. But it didn't happen. This was going on too long to be a joke.
I had been motionless, but suddenly something snapped and I began kissing him back, and my arms flew up around him, pulling him closer to me, one running across his back and the other moving up to his head and running through his hair, finally feeling his hair. Justin groaned against me and I groaned as his body shifted and he awkwardly moved his left leg between mine so that he could better lie on top of me.
Justin pulled away for a moment and I opened my eyes to see him staring into mine. He smiled and leaned into me again. We kissed, and this time, after a second or two, I felt his mouth open tentatively and his tongue pushed through and touched my lips.
I opened my mouth and his tongue entered, my own tongue slithering up to meet it, the two performing a delicate dance round and round and then thrusting into each others mouths as we pushed against each other. My hand on his head went from exploring his hair to trying to pull his face into mine.
Until that moment my brain had seemed only able to process the feelings from my mouth, but now I could feel his body on top of me, his legs against mine, and his hardness thrusting against me.
God! I had to feel him all over.
My hands were now rubbing up and down his lower back under the T-shirt he was wearing, and going down to his shorts and running over the cheeks of his ass. I so much wanted to slip my fingers under the elastic and feel his skin, but I wondered if that was going too far.
Justin took the lead again, suddenly reaching down with one hand and shoving his underwear down. I took the cue and grabbed them with my hands and helped him out of them. Then I grabbed the bottom of the T-shirt and pulled it up. As I reached his shoulders Justin straightened up and quickly pulled off his T-Shirt, throwing it to the ground before falling back on top of me, back into my embrace, and kissing me desperately.
He was now naked on top of me, and I was even more turned on. He was pulling at my clothes, trying to get me naked. But that was much harder to do as I was lying on my back, and he was on top of me. Finally I pushed him up off me and he pulled back and sat on his haunches as I quickly stripped.
When I'd finished I was sitting naked in front of him and I looked back nervously. He grinned and I got my second look at him naked. He was beautiful. I'd already seen him naked in his bathroom, but now I could really look. I took in his shoulders, the muscles on his chest and legs, and the throbbing penis straining within the nest of hair. I could have looked at him all night, but he moved back toward me. I opened my arms to him and he slowly, delicately came to me. I felt the flesh of his chest against mine, his arms around me, my arms around him, and the onslaught of feelings, the rush of emotion, caused my whole body to shake. I couldn't help it. Justin felt my shaking and squeezed me tightly.
"You okay?" he whispered.
"Yeah...I just...I just...this feels so good," I said, running my arms up and down his back. This was a moment I knew I would never forget, and I just wanted to extend every delicious second. Could we just sit here, holding each other's naked body, for about a day or two?
Justin leaned in and kissed my cheek.
"Yeah, it does," he whispered and I turned to face him and our lips met and we began kissing again. I lay back, pulling him with me so that he was on top, and he started thrusting his hips against me.
We continued kissing and I felt him increase the pace of his humping. I didn't want him to finish too soon. I grabbed hold of him and rolled us both over. He stiffened for a second, not sure what was happening, then relaxed and we rolled, ending up on the other side of the bed with me on top of him. I resumed kissing him, running my hands over him, and I felt him trying to grind his hips up against me again.
"Slow down Turbo," I whispered.
"Oh man, I just want to cum."
"You're going to cum Justin, just slow down, it'll be better if you make it last."
"Oh Ethan..." Justin breathed, "I just want to cum, I've waited so long..."
"It's okay Justin," I whispered, kissing him gently over his face and pushing my body up so that we weren't touching. He jerked upwards, trying to restore the touch, but I teased him a bit.
I kissed him gently some more, slowly working back to his mouth. As I kissed his mouth I thrust my tongue inside and slowly settled back on top of him. He moaned in pleasure and thrust up, trying to grind himself into me.
I rolled to the side so we were lying side by side and reached down with my hand and grasped him, feeling how hot and hard he was. He groaned and thrust his hips forward and I squeezed and gently stroked him. I so much wanted to slow down and explore him. Feel every vein and ridge of him, but he wasn't going to let me. He kept thrusting against me, urging me to squeeze harder and jerk him faster. His hand reached out to grab me and I shook as he took me in his hand and stroked me off.
We hunched ourselves together, stroking and kissing and awkwardly trying to pull ourselves closer with our free hands. Our hips were thrusting and we were both working harder and faster. Justin was making a soft gurgling noise and I knew it would be soon.
"Faster...faster," he whispered breathlessly.
He tensed, the movements of his pelvis pausing momentarily and then thrusting quickly but erratically. He groaned loudly, as though in pain, and then I felt hot liquid streaming onto my hand and my chest. He practically threw his body at me, and I could barely keep my hand moving on him.
"Uh..uh...ah!" he moaned as he shook, then "Stop! Stop!" he begged and I let go of him.
I looked at him as he lay there beside me, his eyes tightly shut, sweating and breathing hard. He made a soft sighing noise that was just so cute I had to hug him and kiss his head. He finally opened his eyes and looked at me and he smiled and looked a little embarrassed.
"Okay?" I whispered.
"Yeah!" he breathed, "that was...wow!" Then he blew out a breath, making a 'phew' sound.
"Glad you liked it," I said, leaning down and kissing him.
His hand, the one that had been holding me, started to stroke me again. He propped himself up on his elbow as he got into his work and I lay back down on my side. He pushed me onto my back and stroked me, while running his other hand over my body. He leaned down and gently kissed and licked at my nipple.
"Faster!" I whispered and his stroking sped up. I was close. He was chewing on my nipple.
He was squeezing me...
...stroking me faster...stroking faster...
...chewing my nipple...
...my whole body tensed up...stroking faster...I was going to cum...
I felt like I was flying. So hard, every muscle stretched taught.
I was going to cum...I was going to cum...he's stroking me...
...God! Oh God! I'm cuming!
I groaned and almost curled up in a ball, squirting cum over both of us. Justin kept pounding on me and the orgasm just wouldn't stop.
...I'm cuming...I'm still cuming...oh sit!
I was shaking and groaning and jerking like crazy and I felt like my head was going to explode...and then it passed...
...and I reached down and grabbed his hand to slow him down.
"Oh man," I said, "you are incredible."
"Thanks Tiger" he joked, pushing me lightly. I lay there catching my breath, collecting my thoughts. Feeling suddenly a little cold and wet.
I hugged him tightly. He didn't resist and we kissed and hugged. Then I hopped up and grabbed a t-shirt off the floor and wiped us down.
Justin smiled at me a little nervously as I wiped his chest and then his fingers. I carefully wrapped the t-shirt into a ball so it wouldn't stick to the floor and dropped it beside the night table.
I turned back to face Justin. Wondering how he'd react. I knew from my own experience that sometimes sexual excitement would make you do things, or be with someone that, in the cold, cold light of post orgasm, kind of turned you off. A lot. Would Justin react that way?
I looked at him, not sure what expression to wear. Should I look at him with love? Companionship? Calm indifference? I didn't know. But he smiled and opened his arms out to me and I slid close to him and we wrapped our arms around each other. Then we carefully lay down side-by-side and he snuggled up beside me and we hugged and kissed a couple more times before finally falling asleep.
I woke up early the next morning. The room still had that eerie night time quiet to it, and I could tell by the light from the windows that the sun wasn't up yet. I heard a little rustling sound and rolled over. Justin was standing by the bed struggling into his pants.
He glanced over at me and startled a little. He looked embarrassed.
"You going?" I asked, my voice croaking a little.
"Yeah, I've got to go," he answered pulling his hooded sweatshirt on.
"I thought you were staying for breakfast," I said sitting up in the bed.
He paused, watching me, and he almost looked panicked standing there, his hands nervously pulling at the bottom of the sweatshirt.
"I...I really have to get going," he said. I guess he couldn't come up with a good excuse this early in the morning.
"Okay," I said, pursing my lips.
"I'll...I'll call you, okay?" he said, though I knew he was just saying that. The old 'don't call me, I'll call you routine.'
Fuck! It was going to end this way. I was tempted to ask him if I was a curiosity or whether he was experimenting.
And if it was an experiment, had he found he'd hated it or hated me, or was he just afraid? I thought about asking him, but figured I wouldn't get an honest answer, so why bother?
I nodded at him and he went to the door. He stopped and half turned back to me, flashing a small, guilty smile.
"Bye," he said softly.
"Bye Justin," I said, and he slipped out, closing the door behind him.
I lay back on the pillow, my eyes watering slightly, an empty pit in my stomach, and pulled the covers over my face.
Sleep didn't come for ages, but I must have fallen asleep at some point, as the next thing I remember was Abby knocking softly on the door.
"You awake?" she called.
"Yeah," I grunted.
She opened the door slowly and leaned her head in.
"You going to get up?" she asked.
"I don't know," I said plaintively.
She came in and walked over to the bed and sat down beside me. She hadn't seemed surprised that Justin wasn't there. Maybe she had looked in earlier and seen he was gone.
"You okay?" she asked.
"Not really," I moaned.
She nodded and just sat there.
"He left," I said, stating the obvious.
"I know," she nodded, "I heard him go."
"Oh," I said.
"You want to talk about it?"
I shrugged and we sat there in silence for a moment. "How about you take a shower," she suggested, "and we go out for breakfast. It looks like a lovely day outside."
"We made out," I said quietly, "we didn't...you know...but we...it was fantastic and he seemed really into it and we fell asleep holding each other and then he just...he cleared out as quickly as he could this morning."
"It happens," she said.
"It's just...I'm so in love with him," and I started to cry, and Abby put her arms around me and drew me into a hug, whispering that it was going to be okay.
To be continued...