All the Ways I Love You
This story is about male/male relationships and contains graphic descriptions of sex.
You should not read this story if it is in any way illegal due to your age or residence.
This is a work of pure fiction. It mixes fictional characters and events with real people. However any real person mentioned in this work is purely an actor playing a part. This story in no way is meant to imply anything about the sexuality, personality, or behavior of the actual person.
Thanks to the many readers who have responded to this story. Thanks to mattvt for reviewing and proofing parts of this story; all errors remain my fault!
Copyright 2003 Jason Calme. This story is the sole property of its author and may not be copied in whole or in part or posted on any website without the permission of the author.
Questions and commentary can be sent to "JasonCalme@yahoo.com".
Chapter 28
I awoke to the sound of my cell phone chirping. It was 11 o'clock. I'd fallen asleep with the television and the lights on. Maybe it was a good thing the phone woke me.
"Hello?" I croaked.
"Ethan?"
"Hi Justin."
"You okay?"
"I fell asleep," I said, still trying to wake up.
"Oh shit! Did I wake you?"
"It's okay J. I fell asleep with the TV on...so it's just as well you woke me up."
"Oh, sorry," Justin apologized.
"It's okay."
There was a long pause.
"I'm sorry about tonight...I want to apologize for the things my Mom said."
"You don't need to," I said. I had suspected something like that would happen, so in a way, I wasn't that upset. I almost felt happy now. I'd survived something I'd been worried about for the past few months, because I knew Justin wanted me to meet her.
"No, I do," Justin continued. "You said it was going to be bad and I didn't believe you and I just feel really bad for putting you through that."
What to say to that? 'Listen to me next time 'cause I know what the fuck I'm talking about?' Instead I took pity on him. "It's okay. Okay?" I said.
"Well, I've got some good news for you," his voice suddenly sounding bright and cheerful.
Oh God! I thought. Dinner with Britney must be back on.
"Mom's going back tomorrow," he said.
"She is?" I said, trying to sound casual. I didn't want to sound too enthusiastic.
"Yeah...she...her meetings were done and we talked a bit and we agreed it didn't seem like a good idea for her to stay any longer."
"I see," I said. So the trip was purely a get to know me event, and now it had been canceled. I wondered who had canceled. Had Justin stood up to his Mother, or had his Mother simply said she wasn't going to hang around to spend more time with me? I really hoped it was the former, but it might be the latter. Well, unless he told me I'd never know, as I wasn't going to ask.
"So you'll come over tomorrow after you're out of your meetings," he said.
I couldn't tell if it was a question or a declarative statement.
"Justin..." I interrupted. Somehow it felt dirty to be slinking back into the house after his Mother had cleared out. For my own self- respect I felt like I needed to stay here as planned; until Friday, and then go up there.
"Please, Ethan," Justin began to beg. "I have to do a lot of apologizing to you and we only have a few days and nights. I'm really going to make it up to you, I promise."
I hate it when Justin begs. I can never refuse him when he gets that tone in his voice and that look in his eyes. And even though he wasn't there, in my mind I could see the expression on his face.
"But Justin..." I tried.
"Please Ethan. Do I have to come down there and beg on my knees?"
I lay there and smiled. "Maybe I'd like that," I whispered to him.
"You would, huh?" he said, his tone brightening again.
"Yes, but you'd have to be naked," I joked.
"Ah...well," he began, a little thrown by my statement. "If you want me naked and begging then you have to come to the house. I don't do that at hotels."
I smiled into the phone. "Then I guess I'll have to come then."
"Yeah...you'll come," he said, accenting the word come.
"I'm tired Justin."
"Then get some rest! You're going to need all your energy tomorrow night!"
"Yeah...well you better rest up too!" I joked back.
"Okay...I love you Tiger," Justin whispered and I couldn't help but smile.
"Love you Turbo."
I arrived at Justin's house a little after 4 in the afternoon. After a hard day of meetings where I had to pretend to be smart, outgoing, hip, and quick, you can get pretty damned exhausted. But as I was putting on my show, I couldn't help but wonder; do they really, honestly think that a writer is any one of those things? Don't they know that real writers tend to be hermit like creatures who hide away from the rest of the world while living in their own fantasy worlds?
The limo dropped me off at the house, and I walked up to the door and knocked, a little surprised that Justin hadn't come out to meet me. After a couple of seconds Justin opened the door wearing a white bathrobe and looked as though he'd just got out of the shower. His hair was still dripping a little.
"Did I interrupt something?" I asked as I stepped inside and dropped my bags. He closed the door and came around to stand in front of me.
"No, the driver called me just before you got here..." he smiled at me. "I wanted to be ready to apologize." And with that he untied the robe and pulled it open, letting it drop to the floor and leaving him standing naked in front of me.
He really didn't have to apologize after that.
But he stepped forward holding open his arms and wrapping them around me, pulling himself close to me and putting his head on my shoulder and kissing my neck. Then he knelt down on his knees and looked up at me with a hopeful expression and I had to do my best not to burst into laughter.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
"Justin," I said trying to keep from throwing him down and having my way with him right there. "You don't have to apologize. I've already forgotten it. Everything's okay." I pulled him up so that he was standing and I hugged him hard.
"I know," he said, and he started kissing on one side of my neck and continued around the front of my neck until he ended up on the other shoulder. "But I'm going to make it up to you now."
He slowly started to unbutton my shirt.
"Justin," I said, interrupting his unbuttoning. "You know I like being with you...we don't have to have sex every minute we're together."
He looked up at me, and for a moment I thought he looked hurt. I pulled him to me and kissed him hard and passionately, my tongue pushing against his and I kneaded the globes of his butt and ground him against me, just so he knew how much I wanted him.
He pulled away, still puzzled.
"I'd just like to take it a little slower..." I said. "You know, kind of an intellectual foreplay."
He still looked puzzled.
"Though I do like having you naked," I said, running my hands up and down his chest. "How about we go into the living room, have a drink, and a little kissing and cuddling. Then let's do something together...not that...and then," and I drew out the 'then', "we'll come back here and fuck each other stupid."
I looked at him, wondering if he understood what I was trying to say.
He nodded and I leaned and kissed him again. I wanted him to be sure I wasn't angry or disappointed in him. He reached down for the bathrobe but I pulled it out of his hand.
"Who said anything about you getting dressed?" I teased.
"I'm staying naked?" he said with a smile on his face. He was getting into this more. "What do you want to drink then?" he asked.
"Got any white wine?" I asked. "I feel like that. Or a beer."
Justin nodded and disappeared out to the kitchen while I went into the living room, took off my shoes, and stretched out on the couch. Justin came in carrying two beers and looked at me with a puzzled expression.
"You're not getting undressed?" he asked.
"It wouldn't be foreplay if we were both naked," I said, and took a beer out of one hand and put it down, and pulled him down on top of me. He somewhat reluctantly lay down on top of me, and I put my arms around him. We both took a drink and then put down the bottles. He looked at me with a mixture of puzzlement and wonder on his face, and I put my arms around him, running them up and down his bare back.
"You warm enough?" I asked.
"Uhh...I don't know," he said hesitantly.
"Want to get a blanket?" I asked.
"Maybe."
"Go grab one," I prompted, and he jumped up and ran out of the room. When he came back he was stilling running and I got to watch his penis flop around as he ran. I was tempted to send him on another errand just to watch some more.
He dropped down on top of me and pulled the comforter over the top of him. I put my hands back onto his bare back and pulled him close and he shook a little and eased into the warmth of my body. He lay his head down on my chest, the top of his head just below my chin. I could kiss the hair of his head easily and I did so. Running my lips back and forth through his hair.
"Cozy?" I asked him.
"Yeah," he murmured.
"So how was your day?" I asked.
He lay there thinking for a moment. "It was okay," he said.
"Your Mom get away okay?"
"Yeah."
"That's good," I said. I wasn't going to ask him any more than that. If he wanted to talk about it then I would, but otherwise I was going to leave it alone.
"How'd your meeting go?" he asked.
I proceeded to tell him, in very abbreviated form, about the meetings.
"Think you'll get any work?" he asked.
"Don't know. If I had to guess I'd say no. They were kind of hard to read."
"How do you mean?"
"Well they were very friendly, but now when people are really friendly here I just take that to mean they're being hospitable," I said.
"Oh."
"You know...'oh that's so wonderful! We love you! Don't call us, we'll call you'"
"Uh huh," he nodded.
I was rubbing my hands slowly over his back. Feeling the muscles in his back and upper arms, as he lay against me. He was hardly moving at all, just occasionally sliding his head on my chest and nipping and kissing at me neck. It was an incredibly intimate and sensual moment, but not really sexual. I'd had an erection when he'd first lain on top of me, but it has slowly deflated as we were lying there. I couldn't tell if he was hard any more, though I suspected he wasn't. We lay there in silence for a moment.
"I like this," he whispered.
"Me to," I said, leaning down to kiss him.
"How come you have all the good ideas?" he asked, pouting.
"You have great ideas too you know."
"About us I meant."
"So did I."
He looked at me and rolled his eyes.
"I really liked the flowers," I said, "thank you," and I kissed him.
"Yeah, flowers" he said, dismissively.
"Hey...there have been other things..."
"Yeah, like this trip...the trip to North Carolina, one of my greatest moments there..."
"Hey!" I said poking him in the stomach. "You know those first few days when I came out to meet you? You showed me a wonderful time. You were so friendly and charming, I kept thinking 'I'm not getting any work done, this is going to screw up the project - oh well I don't mind!' And I was so in love with you when I left."
He grinned at me.
"I did kind of pour it on," he said softly.
"So were you...what were you thinking?" I asked. I'd always wanted to know what he'd been thinking those first couple of days, but had never quite been able to do it.
"About what?" he asked looking up into my eyes.
"Well, why me?"
"You're not that bad!" he said jokingly.
"Huh! You know what I meant."
"Yeah!" he snickered a little and stretched out and then relaxed back against me. "Well to be honest, when Johnny said you were gay I didn't give it a second thought. I don't even know why he told me. I guess because it was on your website so it was common knowledge. You meet a lot of people who are gay, but they don't say 'this guy's gay,' all the time.
"And really I was just focused on not wanting to do the movie. So I was trying to find someone who I thought I could ask to not write a script; who wouldn't be upset about it. We had another guy in and I just knew he wouldn't go for it."
"So I looked like a soft touch," I kidded him.
"No. I thought you were cute," and he looked at me coyly.
"Really?"
"Yeah. And I thought we could be friends. If we were friends I thought it would be easier to ask you..." and he paused, looking guilty.
"Okay, so I guess the becoming friends worked," I smiled.
"Yeah, though kind of faster than I'd expected. Kind of threw me. I guess it was timing too."
"Timing?"
"Well I'd been kind of thinking that...well you know I'd done stuff...but not much...but I was starting to think more and more about it and...you know..." and Justin trailed off.
"What?" I prompted him.
"Uh...trying other things..."
"Oh."
"I mean trying a relationship..." he added hastily.
"Oh...so I was the first one to come along?" I asked, a little surprised. I think surprised at my luck.
"No...no," he said shaking his head as though concerned I thought he hadn't done any comparative shopping. "I'd kind of been looking but not seen anything. I tried talking to a guy at a club once, but that didn't go well," and he rolled his eyes.
"What happened?" I asked, curious.
"Well I went up to him at the bar and we talked for a bit and he was really nice, but it was kind of awkward to...you know..."
I had no idea what he meant and my expression must have showed it.
"...let him know I was interested in him," Justin finished.
"Okay."
Justin pushed himself up with his arms and we were separated. I reached up to him, worrying he was pulling away from me, but he slid over a bit and settled back down on me, leaning in to kiss me and then pulling back to almost curl up on my chest. I leaned down and kissed the top of his head and rubbed my hand up along his back.
"Comfy?" I asked.
"Very."
"So what happened next?"
"He says to me, 'are you with anyone' and I said 'no' and he says, like a joke, 'well you can always come home with me' and I said 'okay.'"
I laughed. "Then what happened?" I asked.
"Well I think he thought I was just kidding with him, and he looked at me and he saw I was serious," and Justin giggled, "and he went to lean against the bar and missed it completely and fell on his ass!"
Justin laughed and I laughed with him, pulling him against me and feeling his chest heaving as he chuckled.
"...And his beer fell on top of him," and Justin waved his hand in pantomime of what happened, "and he was sitting there dazed, covered in beer, and I leaned down and helped him up. But he was so embarrassed about it he literally ran out of the place! I felt so bad for him."
We both laughed a little.
"Lucky for me I guess. Okay, enough about that, I want to hear more about me," I said.
"You? What about you?" Justin asked.
"So were you hitting on me at Disneyland or not?"
Justin looked at me and grinned, blushing a little.
"Maybe," he said innocently. "What do you mean?"
"You kept leaning against me and you were right in my face."
"Oh!" he grinned.
"So why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you say something when I told you I was gay?"
Justin shrugged. "I was scared. I was focusing on the movie, and you were only going to be there for another day. I really liked you. I really, really liked you, and if you hadn't been going away I probably would have done something. But it was just too complicated...and well..." he looked at me shyly, "I liked you so much I didn't want to have a one night stand with you."
I grabbed him in my arms and moved so that I could roll him under me so I could lie on top of him. He figured out what I was doing and helped us move around, then I lay down, with my face right above his, staring into his blue eyes, and I leaned down and kissed him, a short, chaste kiss.
"I love you so much," I whispered, pulling away. "You know you were all I could think about when I got back to New York. I wrote the script because it was like I was close to you. I could conjure you up in my mind and play out little stories with you. I couldn't believe it when you turned up at my door."
"I'm sorry I didn't contact you sooner," he said. "I just didn't think it could work out...but I couldn't stop thinking about you either."
"Yeah?"
"I kept checking out your website to see if there was anything new there. I was so excited when I was coming out and thought I might see you again. Though I was nervous about it."
"I'm just so glad you did..." I said, and we kissed again, holding each other, and I could feel the passion turning into sexual energy. Justin was beginning to stiffen underneath me. I finished the kiss and pulled up from him.
"So what do you want to do tonight?" I asked.
"Huh?"
"Want to go to a movie or something?"
"Uh...oh come on!" he almost yelled in frustration.
"What?" I asked innocently.
"You want to go out and do something...first?" he said, accenting the word first.
"Sure...with you," I said and I reached out and grabbed my beer off the coffee table, and handed his to him. We both took a drink, Justin looking at me with an amused expression.
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing. Just, sometimes you are so weird."
"Thanks. Many people say it's my best quality," I smirked.
"I can't think who!" said Justin laughing, and he was tickling me and I squirmed on top of him.
"Hey! You'll end up getting covered in beer," I giggled.
We went bowling.
We took a couple of security guys and went to a bowling alley and it was a lot of fun. No one bothered us much. Considering I had only bowled about five times before, and hadn't bowled in ages, I did pretty well too. I think one of the security guys actually won.
Oh, and then we went back to his house and made mad passionate love. You know...went at it like wild animals.
And then we went at it nice and slow a couple more times.
That was pretty damn good. Just like the cuddling beforehand. There just wasn't as much talking.
------------------------------- To be continued...
My other stories:
High School: Do What You Can
Celebrity: Boy Bands: Birthday Blues