All the Ways I Love You
This story is about male/male relationships and contains graphic descriptions of sex.
You should not read this story if it is in any way illegal due to your age or residence.
This is a work of pure fiction. It mixes fictional characters and events with real people. However any real person mentioned in this work is purely an actor playing a part. This story in no way is meant to imply anything about the sexuality, personality, or behavior of the actual person.
Copyright 2003 Jason Calme. This story is the sole property of its author and may not be copied in whole or in part or posted on any website without the permission of the author.
Questions and commentary can be sent to "JasonCalme@yahoo.com".
Chapter 27
"Shit!" I said. "Justin," I called through the door.
Justin opened it wearing a robe and drying his hair with a towel.
"There's reporters down stairs looking for you," I almost shouted at him.
"What?" he gasped.
"Jason saw them."
"Shit!" Justin whined. "What am I going to do?"
"Let's just think," I said.
"I better call and get some security," he said, moving to the phone.
"But then they're going to know you're here," I said and he paused. I turned to Jason, "How many are there?"
"I don't know. A couple in the lobby, and a couple by the car in the lot."
"Shit! What am I going to do?" Justin sat down sadly.
"Maybe we could create a diversion? Disguise you maybe?"
Justin shrugged. Then his face brightened. "I've got an idea," he said.
"What?" both Jason and I asked.
"They're with the car at the moment. They might not be sure I'm here. If someone else moves the car then they might think I'm not here after all."
I nodded. It seemed plausible, and was at least worth a try.
"You could just go down stairs and take it," said Justin.
"Don't you think they'll ask who I am?" I said. "Why I'm driving your car?"
"Ah...just tell them you're a friend."
"What if they put us together sometime later? They might think something we don't want them to think."
"I'll drive it," offered Jason.
"You?" I said turning to him.
"Why not?"
"Well what's the cover story?" I asked. Both of them sat there looking puzzled.
"Just say you're a friend," Justin said. "That's all they need to know."
"I have an idea," I said. They both turned to me.
I was down in the parking lot, picking up a bag of items I'd pretended to drop. Justin's car was parked across the way. If something went wrong, then I would be able to intercede, or at least know what happened. But if things went as we hoped, I'd call Justin and Jason to coordinate the pick up.
It was rather exciting. Like being involved in some spy thriller or something. For a moment it occurred to me that celebrities did lead exciting lives!
I saw Jason walking out towards Justin's car. He was whistling casually, and he took the keys out of his pocket and pushed the button to unlock the doors.
As he went to open the door, two men who were standing near by came over.
"Hey!" one of them called, and Jason stopped and turned toward them. He stood with one foot inside the car, just about to get in.
"Is that your car?" the reporter almost demanded. I thought he was kind of rude. Hadn't anyone ever told him you catch more flies with honey?
"You think I drive cars that don't belong to me?" Jason shot back casually.
"That's Justin Timberlake's car," the other said. "What are you doing driving it."
"No it's not," said Jason, and he looked a little nervous and guilty. I wasn't sure if it was acting, or from the situation. Either way it fit perfectly with the plan.
"Yes it is!" the second reporter persisted. "Who are you? If you don't tell us we're calling the cops."
"Fuck off!" Jason retorted.
The guy pulled out the phone and looked as though he was going to call someone.
"No wait!" said Jason. "Don't do that...yeah it's Justin Timberlake's."
The reporter stopped and folded up his phone. He glanced over at his friend and the two smiled at each other. They obviously figured they'd got a live one.
"What are you doing here?" the first guy asked. Again the tone was demanding, not friendly.
"I'm just...I was visiting a friend. He let's me drive his car."
"So where's Justin?" said the second reporter.
"He's away! He gets back today. I have to get the car back! Please don't...I can use the car for errands sometimes...but he'd...he'd fire me if he found out I took the car to come here," Jason was pleading. "...please don't say anything to him!"
Jason was doing a great job. I almost believed him.
"Okay, but what do we get out of this?" said reporter number one.
"What...what do you mean?" Jason stammered.
"Well, if we let you go, what do we get?"
"Uh...I don't..." began Jason.
"You must know something...who's he dating?" asked reporter number two.
"Oh..." said Jason.
"Come on...you tell us something..."
"I can't...it's a secret..." Jason said quietly.
"Come on...just a little."
Jason looked torn. As though he couldn't decide what to do. Suddenly he blurted out "He's seeing Britney tomorrow. That's all I can tell you!" and then he dived in the car and started it up.
The two men didn't seem to care. They didn't try and stop him. They just smiled at one another and watched as the car backed out and left the lot. I watched too, and saw Jason paying the parking fee with the $50 bill Justin had given him.
I finished picking up my stuff and walked back to the hotel quietly. I watched as the two men walked back to the hotel entrance. They seemed to be saying goodbye and then the first one turned and walked back to the lot, while the second one went inside. A few minutes later the second one came back out with two other men.
I went in and sat in the lobby. The second reporter and his two friends hung around for another half hour. I wondered if they suspected that they were being hoodwinked. I called both Justin and Jason to let them know what was going on.
Finally, after a bit more talking, they gave up and left. I watched them get in a car and drive away.
I called Justin and told him I was on my way up to get Jason's bags, and called Jason to find out where he was. It turned out Jason was parked five blocks away in another lot.
With Jason's bags I went out and asked for a cab. The guy in front of the building waved up a taxi and they put the bags in the back. I opened the door of the cab but stood there watching. When the cab driver looked at me questioningly I told him I was also waiting for a friend. Just as I said that, Justin came up and jumped into the cab through the door I was holding open. It was so quick I didn't even get a clear look at him!
I hopped in and the cab driver started off. I looked over at Justin, who was slumped into the corner, his arms up over his face. He was peaking out and his eye caught me and I had to smile. He sat there, watching me, and then slowly the arms came down and he straightened up a little and started to laugh too.
It took us about ten minutes to find Jason and transfer to Justin's car. We were laughing and congratulating ourselves for how successful our little operation had gone when Justin suddenly exclaimed "Oh Shit!"
"What?" I asked.
"Jason's audition!" said Justin.
I looked at my watch. He was already half an hour late.
"Don't worry about it," said Jason. "It's not important."
"No way," said Justin, and he put the pedal to the metal. We squealed out of the parking place and were barreling down the freeway before I had my seat belt on!
Jason had told Justin where it was and Justin seemed to know, but Jason kept saying that it wasn't important and Justin was ignoring him. He just seemed to go faster, and I clung to the arm rest, kind of wishing a cop would pull us over.
We arrived a half an hour later, Justin skidding to a halt and me still praying that someone else was driving. Jason looked at us and shrugged.
"It's not worth going," Jason tried one more time.
"Sure it is, come on," said Justin, and he hopped out, telling me to wait in the car. I just shrugged.
The two of them went off, and I sat there waiting. It was twenty minutes before Justin came back.
"What happened?" I asked.
"I went in and told them it was my fault that Jason was late, and would they please let him have another chance to audition."
"What'd they say?"
"They said he could audition right then," Justin grinned. "And they wanted to talk to me about being in it!" he laughed.
"Not the part that Jason was trying for?" I asked, concerned. That would do nothing for Jason's ego.
"No...no, something else," Said Justin. "I told them I didn't think so, but to call Johnny and say they'd spoken to me."
"Huh. What happened with Jason?"
"They're giving him an audition. They said I could watch," said Justin, suddenly serious, "but I got the idea he was a little nervous with me there."
"I bet he was!"
We sat there waiting. I kept glancing at my watch. I had a meeting I had to get to soon. About the time I was really starting to get nervous Jason came out with a big smile on his face.
"How'd it go?" Justin asked.
"I didn't get it," he said, looking disappointed.
"Oh," I said.
And then he smiled and laughed. "They thought I'd be better for another part. I'm going back on Friday to audition for the Director!" And he let out a yell.
"Way to go!" I yelled and hugged him and Justin joined the hug and Jason kept saying "Thank you!" to us both.
Justin finally waved him off. "I just got you in for the interview. If you sucked they wouldn't have asked you back."
I agreed, though to myself I wondered how much Justin's appearance might have swayed their opinions. Well, it didn't matter. Jason had a chance now, and it'd be up to him.
We dropped Jason off at his new hotel and wished him luck. Then Justin dropped me off just in time for my meeting. He said he'd come back and get me but I said I'd get a cab to his place. He refused to let me do that.
If I'd had the energy, or the attention span, I would have argued the point. Part of me thought he suspected I would make up some excuse for not coming back to his place if he didn't come get me. Another part of me thought he was right.
This meeting went much better. It was with HBO, who were interested in doing something with my novel. But then we started talking about a short story in the first book and suddenly they were off talking about that instead. By the time I left I didn't know what direction they were going in, but they seemed to like me.
As I left they said they were going to get back to 'us' - meaning my agent. I don't know. Maybe they would, or maybe they wouldn't. But at least I felt better after that meeting.
I walked out of the meeting, took out my cell phone and pushed Justin's number. I figured I'd find out where he was and tell him not to bother coming to pick me up. I was going to go back to the hotel to rest, and then I'd get a cab back to his place.
Justin picked up on the second ring.
"Hey!" he said, "How'd it go."
"Great! but I'm tired" I said, this was the set up, "I'm gonna go back to the Hotel to rest for a bit then I'll come out."
"Where are you?" he said.
"I just got out...I'll get a cab..."
"I'm right here," he interrupted.
"Where?" I asked. I had just come out of the elevator and I looked out on the street and saw his car pull up. Shit! He must have been waiting right there for me. "How long have you been waiting?" I asked.
"Not long...just hurry up!" he said, and hung up.
I walked out to his car, opened the door, and got in. When I sat down I looked across at him and Justin gave me this smile that was a self-satisfied 'you ain't getting out of this' grin. I decided to ignore it.
"Can you drop me at the hotel," I said, "I really want to take a nap."
"You can nap at my house," he replied, pulling out into traffic and clearly intending to ignore my request.
"You Mother's there," I countered.
"She's out. Won't be back until later."
"Okay," I said, feeling like a condemned man whose last appeal to the Supreme Court had just been rejected. Justin was determined. For better or worse he was going to see through to the bitter end his plan to bring matter and anti-matter together in the hope of creating a harmonious universe. I was convinced it would only result in total annihilation. I just wasn't too sure for whom.
Well it wasn't going to be me, I told myself. I was going to come out of this with my head held high. I would do the best I could, and behave like a decent human being. I wasn't going to give her one reason to dislike me. I'd be civil, friendly and just plain nice. And if I couldn't be that, I just wouldn't say anything.
If I came out of there minus one boyfriend, well at least I'd have my dignity.
"Are you going to get out of the car?" Justin asked me.
I startled. The car was parked in the driveway and Justin was sitting looking at me. His door was already open and it looked as though he'd been about to get out and then realized that I was off in a dream world.
"Oh, sure," I said, and climbed out of the car.
We went in and he said I could go and nap in the bedroom. I wondered which one, but he took me down the hall to a guest bedroom. We kissed quickly, and then he left me. I pulled the shades, closed and locked the door, and then took off my pants and shirt and got into the bed.
I didn't realize how tired I was. I fell asleep almost immediately.
I had this strange dream. I was working in a factory stuffing little furry creatures into cages. The thing is, the little furry creatures kind of looked like Justin, and my supervisor - who looked like Darth Vader - kept yelling at me that I wasn't doing it fast enough, and I was letting too many of them get away. And the packing machine was pounding away Bang! Bang! And the little creatures, sounding very like Justin, were calling my name. 'Ethan!' 'Ethan!' they were screaming in their little tiny Justin voices, and I was trying to tell them there was nothing I could do! I had to put them in the cages.
I opened my eyes. The room was dark but there was a tapping on the door and Justin was calling "Ethan? Are you awake?"
"Yeah," I said a little shakily.
"It's time to get up buddy," Justin called. He never called me buddy. I wondered if that meant his Mother was here. Shit! I'd hoped we'd have a chance to chat before she arrived; a chance to get our stories straight. There were so many things to worry about. What if she asked about sex, or if we'd been tested, or something like that?
I got up, rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, and pulled on my pants and shirt and opened the door. Justin was standing there all dressed up and looking really hot. He looked at me and kind of missed a beat.
"You look like shit!" he exclaimed.
"I just woke up," I said defensively. I was going to add that it was his idea that I come here. That I had wanted to go to the hotel, so it was his fault if I looked like shit.
But I decided not to.
"Ah...why don't you go and wash up in the bathroom?" he said, pointing me in the direction of the guest bathroom.
"Is your Mother here?" I whispered.
"Yes..." he almost hissed. "Go wash up."
I stumbled down the hallway cursing to myself under my breath. I went into the bathroom and locked the door. After a minute or two I looked at myself and decided I really did look bad. So I hopped in the shower, figuring that even if I looked bad, at least I'd smell pretty good.
After a quick shower I dressed, and then carefully combed my hair. When I looked in the mirror I actually looked a whole lot better.
Well that's a surprise.
I came out of the bathroom and found Justin standing in the hallway, kind of bouncing in his shoes.
"What took you so long?" he whined as I came out. Then he gave me a long look and smiled. "You look much better."
"Thanks," I replied.
"Come on," he said, grabbing my arm and leading me down the hall. I felt like I was a puppy he wanted to show his mother. Had I been like that when we went to my parents? I didn't think I was.
I gently pushed his hands off me as we came into the living room and he called out 'Momma?'
I saw a middle-aged woman stand up, a fake smile plastered on her face. For a second she gave me this cold, appraising glance and I knew it was going to be a miserable experience. Justin seemed to miss it.
"Mom, this is Ethan. Ethan, this is my Mom, Lynn Harliss."
"Pleased to meet you Ethan," she said in a way that made me think she was anything but. She didn't move towards me, and I didn't move towards her. I just kind of nodded to her.
"Nice to meet you Ma'am," I said.
Justin stood there with a big grin on his face and seemed to be trying to think of a way to bring us together, but couldn't think of anything.
"Why don't you two sit down and I'll get the snacks," he said.
We both made agreeing noises, and he went off and Lynn sat back down on the couch. I went and sat on the other couch, about as far as I could from her without being obvious that I wanted to sit in another room.
"So you're out from New York?" she said.
"Yes Ma'am," I replied. I don't know where the ma'am came from. I must have been hanging around Justin too much.
"Do you like it in LA?"
"It's okay," I said, "I can kind of take it or leave it."
"You're not planning to move out here?" she asked.
"No. I don't think so."
Her eyes widened a little at that, and she seemed a little surprised.
"I would have thought you would have wanted to be out here to be close to..." and she paused, and I thought she was going to say Justin, but she said "the movie studios."
"I'm not sure I'm cut out to be a movie writer."
"But Justin said you were out here to talk to studios?" she said, her tone suspicious.
"Well at the moment I can't afford to say no to anyone. If someone wants me I'm there. I just don't think I want to move out here permanently."
"Everyone loved the script he wrote for me," Justin piped up, walking in with a couple of plates of snack food. It looked like he'd had someone cater some stuff for tonight. He couldn't cook to save his life.
"That's the one the studio wouldn't make?" his Mother added in an oh-so-sweet voice. I wanted to force feed her some of those snacks.
"It wasn't his fault they flipped," Justin said. "We told him to write an awesome script and he did." Justin smiled at me and offered me something, but then sat down on the couch his mother was sitting on.
"Didn't you know there was a budget for the movie?" she said to me.
"We never told him," Justin answered for me.
"Then I guess that was Johnny's mistake then," she said.
"No, it was mine," Justin corrected. "I was the one that dealt with Ethan on the script."
That was an interesting way of putting it. He 'dealt' with me. I wasn't sure I liked the sound of that. We sat there in silence for a moment.
"So you've had a book published?" his Mother went on. I wished she'd just shut up and we could end this.
"Two," said Justin. "He's had two published. And he's just finishing a third!"
"You must be doing very well," she observed, though she was not looking at me.
"He's doing fine," said Justin. I felt like saying something, but Justin kept jumping in for me. Probably just as well, the only comments I could think of were flippant.
"Well once word gets out about the two of you, he won't have to worry," she said matter-of-factly.
I sat there and stared at her, thinking of all kinds of things to say. But I knew that if I blew up at her it would only upset Justin, so I just sat there and didn't say anything.
"Mom, don't say that," Justin almost whined. "Ethan's not like that. He's not dating me to boost his career. The only reason he came out on this trip was to see me, he didn't really want to meet with the studios."
I looked at Justin. He was laying it on a bit thick. I mean, yes I'd really wanted to come out and see him, and yes, I wasn't interested in moving out to LA, but I would have come, even had I not known Justin. He knew that, didn't he? I mean, surely he knew I still had my career to think about? I wasn't going to use him for it, but I wasn't just going to ignore it either. Or was he saying that for his Mother's benefit? I'd have to have a chat with him later I decided.
"I didn't mean that," his Mother pretended to apologize. "But it would make a difference to his career if word got out."
We sat there in silence.
"When did you decide to be gay Ethan?" she asked.
I nearly choked on the cracker I was biting.
"Mom!" Justin interjected.
"I'm just trying to understand what it's like Justin," she said to him calmly. I felt like I wasn't even in the room, just some curious exhibit on display. "If you won't tell me I thought maybe Ethan would," she continued.
I smiled weakly at her. What? I was supposed to explain everything about gay life? Where should I start? 'Your sons penis really turns me on?'
"Ah, I didn't decide to be gay," I said evenly. "I've just always been me. In my teens I realized I was different, but I didn't think...well I didn't want to think of myself as gay then. It took a while to come to terms with it."
"Justin," she said turning to him, "is that how it was for you?"
"Mom," he said reddening and clearly uncomfortable. "I don't want to talk about this now."
"I think I'll go get a drink," I said. "Excuse me," and I got up and went out to the kitchen. I didn't want a beer. I looked in the fridge and saw some bottled water, so I opened that and took a long drink. When I turned around, Justin was standing behind me looking a little uncomfortable.
"Sorry about that," he apologized.
I nodded, "That's okay."
"Uh, the cars here if you're ready to go."
Oh shit! I forgot that we were going out to a restaurant. That had been my idea. Justin had planned to have it catered at his place and had it all lined up, but I had balked. I thought going out to a neutral place would at least mean things would remain civil. If we stayed at the house I had foreseen flying plates and accusations. >From everything that had happened so far, I don't think I was wrong. But that had meant that security had been arranged, and we were being escorted to a place.
"Okay," I said.
I went out of the kitchen and found my jacket in the entranceway. Justin came back with his Mother and we stepped outside. A huge SUV was waiting for us. I climbed in the back in the third row, and Justin and his mother sat in the middle row. The two security people sat in the front seats.
We were off.
It was kind of odd riding though the streets of LA in the back of this huge vehicle with tinted windows. I couldn't quite get my head around it. It was so unlike any experience I'd ever had; and there had been some strange ones with Justin. I just sat back there and took it all in. The passing cars, the streets, the sounds of the vehicle. I felt like I wasn't supposed to be there. As though I'd somehow just materialized in the back of this car and I was spying on the people in it. Then I was pretending that I was riding in a Presidential motorcade.
I felt like a kid. It was stupid.
Justin and his mother exchanged a few words on the way, and Justin looked back to check on me every now and again. I just sat there and flashed him a stupid grin.
Maybe the feelings were a defense mechanism against Justin's Mother, and I was trying to imagine I wasn't connected with them.
Dinner was just as bad as the pre-dinner. Justin and his Mother talked about little things, and Justin and I talked about little things, and his Mother asked me how many men I'd 'been with.' That pretty much summed up the whole night.
We finished up dinner surprisingly quickly - we'd all been pretty fast eaters since we weren't talking much. No one ordered dessert, so it was back out to the car, and Justin suggested we go and have drinks somewhere, but his Mother wasn't interested.
Then he suggested we go back to the house and have coffee. Oh Goody! I thought, an intimate little cup of coffee back at the house. What questions would be coming there? Did we use condoms? Was anal intercourse going to affect Justin's dancing?
"I think I'll just go back to the hotel," I said as we walked out to the car.
"What?" said Justin.
"I'm tired. I've got another meeting tomorrow. Thanks for the offer, but I'd rather you just dropped me off."
"Come back for a while and then I'll drive you back," Justin almost begged.
"Justin don't pester him," his Mother interjected. I wasn't surprised she wanted to get rid of me.
As I climbed in I asked the driver to drop me off at the hotel. The driver looked at Justin, who just nodded, and off we went. At the hotel they stopped at the entrance.
"I can't get out," said Justin. "If they see me here again they'll figure something's up."
"I know," I said.
I really wanted to hug or kiss him, or do something, but he just sat there next to his Mom. He glanced nervously at me and our eyes held for a moment, then he looked away. I sighed inside and then rubbed his arm quickly with my hand and hopped out the door. Justin turned away so that no one would see who he was.
Once I was out the security guy closed the door and climbed back in the front seat without even looking at me, and the car drove away.
I felt a little cold and alone. And then I remembered that Jason was gone too. Oh well. That was probably just as well.
I went up to the room and turned on my cell phone. There were a couple of messages; Rob had called with no news, just checking in, and there was a message from Jason thanking Justin and me again for our help that morning.
I stripped down and went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth and then went and lay down.
Shit! What a long day this had been. And what a mess this was with his Mother! And she was supposed to be here until Friday and might even stay longer! This trip was fucked.
I lay down. It was only 9:30, but I fell asleep.
------------------------------- To be continued...
My other stories:
High School: Do What You Can
Celebrity: Boy Bands: Birthday Blues