All the Ways I Love You
This story is about male/male relationships and contains graphic descriptions of sex.
You should not read this story if it is in any way illegal due to your age or residence.
This is a work of pure fiction. It mixes fictional characters and events with real people. However any real person mentioned in this work is purely an actor playing a part. This story in no way is meant to imply anything about the sexuality, personality, or behavior of the actual person.
Copyright 2003 Jason Calme. This story is the sole property of its author and may not be copied in whole or in part or posted on any website without the permission of the author.
Questions and commentary can be sent to "JasonCalme@yahoo.com".
Chapter 23
"So what are we going to do this weekend?" Justin asked, lying on his side and looking at me earnestly.
"I want to just lie in bed and cuddle with you," I said, pulling him towards me. We kissed two or three times.
"We can't do that all weekend," he said.
"Sure I can!"
"Well, I can't."
"Well then maybe I'll have to tie you to the bed!" I joked.
"Huh!" he snorted.
Before he could move I threw myself on top of him, rolling him onto his back, with me lying on his stomach. He giggled. "What do you think you're up to?" he asked.
"Turn about is fair play," I laughed, but his smile froze a bit.
"Uh..." he stammered.
"I'm just kidding."
"No...it's okay," he said nervously. "You should...we should do that," he said, his face paling a little.
I leaned down and kissed him. "One step at a time Turbo. I want you to be comfortable with everything. I want you to want to do something...not think that you're obligated."
"Okay," he nodded, not quite able to look me in the face.
"It's okay baby," I whispered, covering his face with kisses, "I'm having a great time with you. You don't have to do anything more than you have already. Okay?"
"Okay," he nodded again, this time turning to look me in the eyes and smiling.
"So what do you want to do this weekend?" I asked changing the subject.
"What do you want to do?" he parroted back at me.
"Well..." I said thinking, "...it's supposed to be a nice day tomorrow. You want to go out to the Statue of Liberty?"
He looked at me levelly and I could tell he wasn't that excited by the idea. "Security might be a problem," he said finally, "we'd have to take some people," and he trailed off.
I couldn't help but notice that Justin tended to use Security as an excuse when he didn't want to do something. I wish he'd just say he didn't want to do it.
"Okay, your turn," I said.
"My turn?"
"Yeah. I suggested something...now it's your turn."
"Is that the way it works?" he asked smiling and at the same time trying to roll me off him.
"Yes it is," I said grabbing on to him so he couldn't get me off.
"Let's see...what are Abby and Tony doing this weekend? Are we getting together with them?" he asked.
"Don't think so. They're pretty busy with the party."
I leaned down to kiss him and he turned to the left and right, straining to get away from me. Pretending he didn't want to be kissed.
"What party?" he asked, breathing hard.
"Tony's 30th" I said, managing to get a quick kiss on his lips.
"He's 30?" he said, trying to pull his arms out of my grip. I pushed them up above his head, "Wow, I didn't realize he was sooo old," he said giggling.
"Yeah, well to you kids 30 must be old," I said, then I licked my tongue up the side of his cheek. "I've got you now," I whispered in his ear.
"So what's the party?" he said, ignoring what I'd said.
"It's a costume party."
I hadn't been a fan of the idea, but everyone else seemed to think it was a good one.
"Why didn't you tell me?" said Justin, suddenly serious.
"What?" I said letting go of him, the moment passed.
"What am I going to wear?" he said, and he sat up, pushing me backwards and I nearly fell off the bed.
"Hey!" I said, pulling myself back into his lap so we were facing one another.
"Where am I going to get something to wear?" he asked. He looked a little frantic. As though this were some terrible catastrophe that was about to befall us.
"Something to wear? What are you talking about?"
"The party!" he repeated.
"The party? We're not going silly!" I said.
"Huh?" he said, fixing me with a frown. He hated it when I said he was silly or stupid or suggested he wasn't smart. I kept telling myself not to joke about that kind of thing - I'd never say he was stupid if I honestly thought he was - but sometimes I still did it.
"We're not invited?" he said slowly.
"Of course I'm...we're invited," I corrected myself. "But we can't go."
"Why not?" he asked, the confusion evident.
"Ah...Justin...security...and you know...you and me...you're not gay...remember?"
"What's that got to do with the party?"
"There are going to be a lot of people there," I said slowly. Now I really did want to say he was being stupid. What didn't be understand? "If you turn up it's going to lead to awkward questions," I went on. "And we're going to be together. I can't promise that everyone there would keep your secret."
"That's ok. We'll just be 'friends' for the night," he said almost dismissively. It seemed he was already fixated on getting a costume.
"Just friends, huh?"
"Yeah."
"And what about security?" I asked.
"It's just a private party right?"
"Yeah...they've booked a place..."
"So probably just need someone..." he said thinking to himself. "I mean we could probably go without someone, but I'll call."
"You really want to go then?" I was rather surprised.
"Yeah."
"Okay, I'll call Abby." Then I had a thought. "You want to help put up the decorations?"
"What?"
"Abby asked if I would help put up the decorations tomorrow," I explained. "I said I couldn't because you were here, and because I'd said we weren't going, but now, I figure we could go help for a bit."
"Sure," he said smiling. "But what am I going to go as?"
"I have a great idea," I said mischievously.
"Yeah?"
"You could go as Justin Timberlake. That would be funny!" and I laughed.
"Ha ha!" he said, not smiling.
"I'm serious."
"I'm not going as myself. That's stupid!" he said dismissively.
"Okay," I shrugged. "Well I thought it was a good idea. And you already have the costume."
He rolled his eyes.
"Are you going to call Abby?" he asked.
"Yeah, I will," I said.
"I've got to get an outfit," he said and he scooted out from under me and jumped out of the bed. "What are you going to wear?" he asked me.
"Slow down Turbo! One thing at a time."
"I'll get the phone book," he said, and he was gone.
I shrugged to myself and reached out for the phone, punching the speed dial for Abby.
"Hello?"
"Hi Abby, it's me."
"Hi Ethan, what's new?"
"Justin wants to come to the party after all," I said.
"He does? That's great! So you're both coming?" she said, the excitement evident in her voice. She'd been disappointed when I'd told her we wouldn't be coming. I knew she'd tried to understand, but at the same time it was an important event for them and they wanted me - or us - there.
"Yes," I said. "And if you still need help to set up and decorate, the two of us are available for that too."
"Fantastic! When can you get there?" she asked.
"When are you going to be there?"
"We plan to get there at 10."
"Wow, getting a jump on it, aren't you?" I said as Justin came back into the room, paging through the Yellow Pages.
"Well there's a lot to do," Abby said. "We kind of went overboard on the decorations, and it's a big place."
"Okay," I said.
I looked over at Justin and put my hand over the mouthpiece. "They're going to start at 10 tomorrow morning. When do you want to go?" I asked him.
"10? I don't know...it depends on if we can find costumes. What's Abby wearing?"
"Abby?" I said.
"Yes?" she answered.
"Someone here needs costume advice..."
"Ah...okay," she said.
I held out the phone to Justin and he looked at it like it was a loaded gun.
"What?" he asked.
"You want to ask about costumes, you can ask. I'm not being the intermediary."
"Okaaaay," he said a little irritably, and took the phone.
"Hey Abby..." he said. "Yeah...loser boyfriend only just told me about it...course I do! I just don't know where we're going to get stuff to wear."
"I think we should just raid his closet" I called out.
"Ha ha," said Justin to me, crossing his eyes.
"How'd I end up with you?" I asked no one in particular.
Leaving Justin to his wardrobe worries, I struggled out of bed and went into the kitchen. I felt like a drink. Opening the fridge I saw chocolate syrup and milk. Hmm, chocolate milk sounded like a great idea. I grabbed a glass, poured in the milk and then squirted in the chocolate syrup and stirred it till it was a nice even brown color. I took a little sip. It was good.
Justin came padding into the kitchen. I looked him over. He'd taken off his t-shirt - probably to take a shower - and was wearing just some white boxer briefs. He looked delicious.
"That looks good," he said, nodding to the chocolate milk, and he took the glass out of my hand and took a drink. He swallowed, and swallowed, and swallowed, draining the glass, then he stared back at me with a smug expression on his face.
"That was good," he said.
"That was mine," I replied.
"Well, it was good," he smirked.
I looked at him and we were both grinning at each other. Then I picked up the chocolate sauce. "So how am I going to get my daily recommended minimum allowance of chocolate now?" I asked casually.
He shrugged, the grin larger. "Beats me," he replied innocently.
I pulled the top off the bottle and dropped it on the counter, then I pulled up the plastic lug and turned to face him.
"Well, I've got an idea," I said, and I held the bottle up to his chest, just above his left nipple and squeezed. He went to step back at first, thinking perhaps that I was going to squirt it all over him, but when he saw I wasn't going to attack him he stopped.
The chocolate poured onto his chest, and in a large dribble rolled down over his nipple.
"I better get that before it spills," I said, and I leant forward and started licking up the chocolate, starting just below the nipple and working my way up. I licked and sucked at the chocolate nipple and felt it start to harden. I poured a drop on the other nipple, and moved over to repeat the process. Justin groaned and I straightened up and leaned into him, kissing him on the lips and letting some of my chocolate flavored saliva enter his mouth.
"We should move to somewhere more comfortable," I whispered.
"What about costumes?" he asked plaintively.
"That can wait," I said, and taking his hand, lead him back to the bedroom, where I grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him back onto the bed.
Climbing onto the bed I straddled him. I looked down at him and he smiled. Taking the chocolate syrup bottle, I leaked a little onto his nose and his cheeks and then leant down and licked it off in long slow strokes.
"God you taste good," I whispered.
Justin giggled. I don't know if it was because of my joke, or the fact that his penis was now erect and rubbing against me as I leaned over him.
I slowly oozed chocolate over his lips, and then moved down and started to lightly lick it off. Justin groaned and opened his mouth, trying to push his tongue into my mouth, but I pulled back. He lay back and closed his lips and I proceeded to lick them clean. I then took the bottle and held it to my mouth, tipping back and squeezing some into my mouth, before leaning forward and letting it pour out of my mouth and into his.
He sucked and licked at my mouth and our tongues dipped back and forth between us.
Justin pushed up with his arms, sitting up to face me as I sat on his legs. He grabbed the bottle out of my hand, opened his mouth and leaned back and poured some chocolate syrup into his mouth, moving the bottle up in the air as it dribbled out. Then he leaned into me and kissed me, spitting some of the chocolate into my mouth. My arms were wrapped around him and we were giggling together like children as some of the chocolate and saliva dribbled out of our mouths.
We pulled apart, still laughing, and stared into each others eyes, our smiles still there, but the giggling passing as the passion came back. I gently pushed on his chest, pushing him down and breaking from his embrace, I slid down his legs so I could better get to his stomach, slowly pouring chocolate syrup in a long thin line down the middle of his chest and around his belly button. He giggled slightly as the cold liquid hit him. I leaned down and studied his belly button.
"Hey man, you've got some lint in here," I said, and I poked at him with my finger.
"Hey!" he squealed.
"Got it," I said with a huge grin on my face.
He looked at me as though he didn't believe it, but I ignored him, pouring some liquid over his belly button, and then moving up to slowly lick the thin trail from his chest. He giggled some more as I licked his belly, slow circles around the soft region below his ribs.
His hands were sliding over my shoulders and through my hair, gently pushing at me, wanting me to go lower.
I looked up. "You had enough?" I asked.
"Nooo..." he whispered, and I slid a couple of inches lower, my face now over his tented briefs. I ran my free hand over the soft cloth, feeling his hardness, and then slowly circling down and over his balls. He groaned, his erection bouncing and straining against the cloth. Impatient with me, his hands went to the waste band of his shorts and he urgently tried to shove them down. I pushed his hands away and pulled them back up, whispering "Not yet," and then bent down and kissed him softly, smelling his smell and chewing on him.
He groaned, his fingers tightening and slackening around my head.
Continuing to lick and chew at him through his underwear, I reached up and slowly began to peel them down until the head of his penis was uncovered and I ran my tongue slowly over and around the head, feeling him shiver. I pulled the waistband down until his penis was free, waving in front of me, slightly vibrating as the blood coursed through it. I hooked the waistband under his balls, the elastic pushing them up so that they appeared large and prominent. I grabbed at the discarded chocolate syrup bottle and brought it over him, letting it slowly drip over the head of his cock, and over his balls. He shivered as the cold syrup touched him.
I closed the cap and tossed the syrup bottle off the bed, admiring my handy work. It looked good enough to eat.
I looked up at his face to see him gazing down at me, his eyes unfocused, his whole body taut and anticipating what was to come. With my thumb and forefinger I gently grabbed hold of the head and pulled it up so that it was at a 90-degree angle from his body. I leaned in until I was almost touching it...and gently blew. Justin groaned in pleasure and his hips thrust up, an automatic response to get more stimulation.
I slowly straightened up, and he looked at me.
"Well, I'm gonna go take a shower," I said casually, and started to get up.
"Whaaaat?" he croaked, his voice a whine of sexual frustration.
I sat back down on his legs. "Just kidding," I said. And then I looked down and grabbed him again, holding his cock in my fingers and slightly rolling it as though examining it closely. "Now what am I going to do with this?" I said, and then I leant forward and opened my mouth and I heard him groaning as I sucked him in...
"But what are we going to wear?" Justin whined for about the twelfth time.
I was just about ready to slap him.
We'd spent the morning calling places and going on a wild goose chase to find costumes. More accurately, Justin had taken it as his mission to find some 'killer costumes' and he wasn't going to be satisfied until he found the perfect thing.
The only problem was it was Saturday morning and several places weren't even open; go figure. And the two places we actually went to he wasn't impressed with at all.
Justin had a cycle he went through when things weren't going his way. It started off with good natured irritability, then proceeded to whining, annoyance, a bit of anger, then a long bit of sulking, followed by moping around and then he'd perk up and move on. Most people I'd been with did similar things. They just tended to do it over a longer period. Turbo powered through the cycle in such a short period of time that it made him seem mercurial, though really it was just that he could compress things and move on.
Right now he was in whining mode, which meant that anger and sulking would be coming up quickly.
He looked at me, obviously expecting me to say something.
"I'm not going to say anything," I said to him.
"You just did," he replied.
We were sitting in a cab, arguing whether to go to another costume place, or go down and help with the decorations. It was already 10:30.
"I know," I said, "how about you drop me off and I'll go help them, and you can go find a costume."
He frowned. "I said I was going to help."
"You still can when you're done."
"What about your costume?"
"I don't really mind," I said, because I honestly didn't care. "I'm not sure I'll even get dressed up."
"What? No, you've got to get dressed," he said, adamantly. Since when did he get to make wardrobe decisions for me I wondered?
"I'll go throw something together later," I lied. "Maybe I'll just paint my face white and go as a ghost."
Justin rolled his eyes.
"Seriously," I continued. "You go find a costume, and I'll go help. I think we'll both be happier that way."
"But I want to spend time with you," he said leaning close to me and batting his eyelashes at me. I laughed and he giggled too. The cute little bastard knew how to get anything he wanted out of me.
Most of the time.
"Okay," I said reluctantly. "Look we'll go to one more place. Then if that doesn't work out, you can keep looking and I'll go help. Okay?"
"Great," he said, smiling at me happily.
Justin didn't like the next place either. It was becoming apparent to me that he wanted a really great costume. Something that was expensive and fit perfectly. Something you'd plan months ahead to get.
As we were walking out I tried to reason with him. "You know, I don't know exactly what you are looking for, but I'm not sure you're going to find it. Anyway, it's just a casual party thing, you know, it's not a big Hollywood event."
"I know but I just wanted to look good," he whined.
I bit back the urge to say he looked good in anything. But he wasn't getting complements from me while he was in a mood.
We rode in silence to the hall where the party was going to be held. The taxi pulled up and I hopped out. For a brief instant I thought Justin wasn't going to get out, but after a second or two he reluctantly climbed out and followed me in.
Inside we found Abby and Tony and several others busily decorating the large room in a kind of Hawaiian luau theme. Abby was standing at a table stacked with paper bags full of decorations.
When she saw us Abby waved and ran over and gave us both a quick hug and kiss. "I'm glad you came," she whispered, and then quickly introduced us to everyone. A couple of the people I vaguely knew, and there were some relatives. About ten people in all. Quite a crowd; I think I'd thought there'd just be three or four of us.
From the reactions of those present I guessed that Abby had already told them about Justin, as everyone very carefully didn't react to him, even though it was obvious they knew who he was.
"So what can we do?" I asked.
"Why don't you help Tony with the streamers over there," Abby said to me, "and Justin can help me with these lights."
"Okay" I said, wandering over to help Tony.
Tony was at the top of a ladder trying to attach a streamer to a poll. I looked up at him enquiringly and he glanced down and made a face.
"How come you're helping decorate your own party?" I said to him good-naturedly.
"Beats me," he smiled, "I was hoping it would be a surprise party, but there you go," and he shrugged.
So for the next couple of hours Tony and I worked on the streamers. There were a lot of them and it was actually pretty hard work getting them up, getting them attached, not tangling them, and making the place look haphazard but not disorganized.
There's a definite art to effective streamer hanging.
After we finished the streamers I decided to take a break. I noticed that Justin was happily working away taping up some fake grass to the edges of a table. I guessed that his mood had swung back to the positive.
I wandered over to Abby. "How's your little helper working out?" I said.
"Good!" she said. "Are you all done?"
"Yep. What's next?"
She looked at her watch. It was close to 1. "You know everyone's going to be hungry. Do you think you and Justin could go down to...there's a pizza place down the street? Get some pizzas and sodas?"
"Sure. As long as I can steal your helper."
Abby laughed.
"Well I'll see what everyone wants," I said.
I got everyone's pizza preference - a couple of people wanted salads (jeez) - and then I went and rounded up Justin.
"You want to come help carry pizza?" I asked him.
"Sure," he said.
Outside he pulled up his hood and put on the cap and sunglasses. We ambled up the street a block and then turned and walked another short block to the pizza place.
He was quiet and I wondered if he was still sulking about the costume.
"You going to go looking for costumes later?" I asked him. "Are there any more places we could try?" I threw in the 'we' to make him feel I was still interested. It was obvious that it was important to him.
"Don't know," he replied vaguely.
"Why?" I asked.
"Abby said we just had to dress up in something silly, it's not like a big costume event."
"That was kind of what I thought. Sorry if I made you think it was something else."
He looked at me and smiled. "'Kay," he said.
Waiting for the pizzas to cook we sat on a couple of tables, our feet on a chair, looking at each other. We had our hands on our knees, close together, but not quite touching.
"Okay, so what are you planning to do?" I asked him finally.
"Uh...nothing..." he smiled at me, and I figured something was up.
I poked his knee and he grinned.
"Come on," I said poking him again.
"Well," he began. "I was talking to Abby and..." and he paused and glanced nervously towards the counter. He stiffened and then looked back at me. I casually looked over at the counter and saw two young women. They were whispering together and looking at us.
I looked back at Justin and he smiled at me nervously. I suddenly wondered if they had seen us fooling around. I noticed Justin turn a little so we weren't so close and I knew he thought the same thing.
"You think they recognized you?" I whispered.
"Uh huh," he said, as I realized they were coming over to us. Damn, I thought, if he'd only had his back to the counter they probably wouldn't have noticed him.
"The pizza should be ready shortly," I whispered. The girls were now standing a little way away from us.
I looked at Justin and rolled my eyes and he shrugged and then he turned to the girls and smiled.
"Hi!" he said in his Justin Timberlake voice. I don't know whether it was a voice he put on, or whether it just happened because he keyed himself up a bit, but his 'Justin Timberlake' voice as I called it was just a little higher and more boyish than the way he talked casually. I wasn't even sure he was aware he did it. But he was definitely assuming a role; his expression had changed to a huge smile that wasn't there a moment ago.
The girls giggled together and it was kind of obvious at that point they knew who he was. I nearly said something like "Do you know Nick Carter?" but decided to leave it all to Justin. I didn't want to get involved with his fans.
"Could we have your autograph?" one of them asked nervously. They must have been about fourteen or fifteen I thought.
"Sure...ahh," and he smiled, "do you have something you want me to sign?"
They giggled together and it became apparent they didn't even have a pen. Justin looked at me. Often he traveled with some pictures and CDs, but he didn't have anything with him as he'd stuffed them in my backpack that was back at the hall. I tried to think if I had anything on me. I had some pictures of Justin in my wallet, but they weren't getting those. I thought of my business card, but then realized they'd know my address and phone number. Not a good idea if they connected me with Justin. I shrugged. My notebook was also in my pack back at the hall. Damn! Well we couldn't take them back there.
I pulled out a pen and gave it to him, thinking he could write on their hands, then I had an idea and went and grabbed a couple of menus and brought them back to him.
"Best I can do," I shrugged.
He looked at the girls apologetically. "Okay if I use these?"
"Sure!" they nodded.
I left him to it while I went and grabbed sodas out of the fridge and paid for them. The pizzas were now ready, and I saw Justin finishing up writing the second menu and I heard one of the girls asking Justin what he was doing here.
"Just hanging out," he replied, and then he saw me and I thought he would excuse himself but he just sat there as they started asking him another question. I wondered if he wanted me to extract him. He glanced back at me and I decided he did. That way I was the jerk, not him. Well, it couldn't be helped.
Walking over I put on my best 'assistant to the star' attitude. "Hi girls," I smiled sweetly, "I'm sorry but Justin needs to be down town in fifteen minutes."
"Oh sure," one of the girls said. Justin stood up and the girls stood there kind of awkwardly. As he moved past them he quickly hugged each one and they both just about dissolved into a puddle of jelly before us. We gathered up our stuff and left them, giggling together. Oh to be a teenager again.
Out on the street Justin whispered, "Are they following us?"
I glanced back quickly and saw them at the door watching us.
"Maybe," I said.
"Shit!"
"No problem," I said, and stepped out onto the street.
A cab was coming along and I flagged it down. We hopped in and Justin said "What now?"
"Just a little distraction," I said, and directed the driver to take us a few blocks in the opposite direction.
As we sat there Justin looked at me with a smug expression on his face.
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing," he said innocently, still looking at me with the smug expression.
"What?"
He didn't say anything.
And then I knew why he was so pleased with himself.
"Okay, okay," I said, "I was wrong, I admit it, and I bow down to you, 'oh great and all knowledgeable one," and I half bowed and moved my arms down in a fake display of supplication.
Justin had taken off his sunglasses and he rolled his eyes at me.
"Just admit that I can't just go out like you can all the time," he said.
"Yeah, alright, I'm sorry. I'm a dumb ass who had no idea what it's like to be you. Happy now?"
"You don't have to be bitter about it," he said, and he poked me with his finger, a huge grin on his face.
"Okay...I am sorry," I said.
The driver pulled to a stop and I asked him to take us back to the hall. "But that's where you just came from," he said.
"We just wanted to go for a drive," I replied.
He shrugged and turned the car around.
"I guess I just assumed that you were exaggerating how much people notice you," I said to Justin. I suddenly realized how rarely we had gone out to public places or even walked down the street. Justin was always avoiding public places.
He shrugged. "The problem is you never know, you know?" He frowned thoughtfully and glanced out of the window as he spoke. As though he was digesting the situation as he spoke. "You can walk all around and no one notices you, then you're in some odd place and they jump out from nowhere. You just never know."
I nodded. Life with Justin was turning out to be nothing like I had imagined. I realized I hadn't been prepared for it at all.
"So be grateful," he said, "now you might realize you don't want to be a successful author after all!" and he smirked at me.
"Yeah, maybe," I agreed thoughtfully.
Justin's expression froze and he became serious. Maybe he was worried I was having second thoughts about him.
"You know it's not that bad," he started nervously, "I mean it's a little trouble but the benefits are..." and he trailed off as it occurred to him that I didn't really get any of the benefits. I was just hanging out with him.
"You know they were nice," he continued nervously. "It's not like something bad would have happened anyway."
I looked at his face, all-serious looking, and I had to laugh. I put my hand on his and patted it. "It's okay Justin, we were just kidding around. I'm in it for the long haul." He looked into my eyes and smiled nervously. I rolled my eyes at him and then reached out and pulled him into a quick hug.
"Hey!," he said, "watch the pizza!"
We were back at the hall, so I hopped out and quickly scanned around while Justin paid the fare. There was no sign of anyone and Justin jumped out and we walked quickly into the place. We were laughing as we went in.
"Maybe we shouldn't do this," Justin said. He was standing in the bathroom looking at himself for the third time. I wondered whether it would be practical to remove all the mirrors in the apartment. Then it occurred to me I only had the one in the bathroom.
"People will think I'm a cocky bastard," he said.
"Yeah. And they would be wrong because...?" I said walking in to the bathroom and studying him. He was wearing a stage costume that was pretty wild. It was black leather pants, leather jacket, black gloves and bright red shirt. He also had a hat that I didn't like; I didn't like anything that prevented me from running my fingers through his hair, but I could see that the hat completed the outfit. I was going to make a joke about him looking like Michael Jackson but I knew that would upset him so I bit my tongue. Really, he looked great. But then he looked great naked, lying in my bed, and I'd much rather have spent the evening with him there.
But you can't have everything.
"You look great," I said and he turned to face me. I pulled off the hat and ran my fingers through his hair and he rolled his eyes. He accepted that I loved doing it, and put up with it good-naturedly most of the time. "You've got nothing to worry about," I said.
"Really?"
Then I looked at myself in the mirror. "Now me, on the other hand, I'm a mess." I looked at what I was wearing and thought about going back to the jeans and t-shirt plan I'd originally had. I was wearing some multi-colored jeans of Justin's, a shirt that looked like someone had attacked it with a razor blade, and a vest that did nothing to pull the ensemble together. I looked like a refuge from a jumble sale. I'd kind of grabbed some things and put them on as a joke and Justin had thought I looked great, but I was sure he was kidding me.
I looked at Justin.
"You should lose the hat," I said.
"Why?"
"It's too much for this event," I said. And I pulled it off and ran my hands through his hair again.
"You just want to be able to get at my hair. Freak!" he laughed.
"Hey, at least I admit my addictions." I stood in front of the mirror and held out my hand as though about to shake an imaginary person. "My name is Ethan Thompson. I'm a hair freak. I can't help it. Head hair, armpit hair, pubic hair, you name it, I just love to run my fingers through it. Especially if it's attached to my boyfriend." Justin gave me an exasperated look and stepped out of the bathroom.
I looked back at the mirror.
The shirt had to go I decided, and I went back to my room and found a much more conservative shirt. When I came back out Justin looked shocked.
"What happened to the shirt?" he demanded.
"I hated it," I said.
"But you looked great!"
"Huh!" I said. "Ready to go?"
"Oh, please wear it?" he begged.
"No," and I walked out the door with him following reluctantly behind.
We met our bodyguard for the evening downstairs. His name was John and he was a huge white guy with a beard. He looked more like a pirate than a bodyguard. He already had a taxi waiting. He nodded to me, and said hello to Justin, as we hopped in for the drive over.
Justin didn't say anything in the taxi. He was still uncomfortable with me in front of the security guys, and he seemed to avoid talking as much as possible. They obviously knew we were together, but maybe he thought that as long as we didn't do anything 'faggy' then they'd think of him differently. Or something. I made a note to talk to him about it later. I was okay with it; I just wanted to be sure about what was going on.
I paid the fare, my foolish sense of independence striking out. Justin and I walked in together - not holding hands - with John following at a distance behind us. It had been worked out that John was just going to be at the party; he wasn't going to follow Justin around...unless something happened that required him to do so. I didn't really think anything would, as most of Tony and Abby's friends and family were pretty normal. I knew that a few knew he was coming, but most didn't, and we'd kind of agreed to introduce him as my friend 'Randall' and say that he was dressed up as Justin Timberlake. I wondered if we were being too clever for our own good. Anyway, we didn't really care if it turned out everyone knew who he was.
The party was fun. It was catered; lots of hors d'oeuvres and lots to drink and dancing with a live band. I knew a lot of people and introduced Justin to them. I just introduced him as Randall to everyone, even my friend Paul, who knew he was Justin. It was just easier that way. Justin played along, and seemed to have a lot of fun. He danced a bit, though seemed to take care not to draw attention to himself. I couldn't help notice there were a lot of young woman interested in him. At one point I overheard one of them say to another "He's cute, and he really does look like Justin Timberlake, don't you think?"
"He's cuter!" said the other. "Do you think he's gay?"
I just wanted to go up and wrap my arms around him and let them know he was mine, but I couldn't do that.
I'd been there a while and I realized I still hadn't said hello to Tony. I went in search of the birthday boy and found him standing by the bar.
"Hey Tony, happy birthday man!" I called to him.
"Hey Ethan!" he said turning and shaking my outstretched hand.
"So how does the big three-oh feel?" I grinned.
"Pretty good so far," Tony smiled. Then he leaned in close. "Where's your better half?"
"He's off dancing," I said a little wistfully.
"Ah," he nodded. The problem with this place was that it was pretty much all couples dancing, and I couldn't really just get on the dance floor and dance close to Justin. It would be too obvious.
We were standing there waiting for the guy to get our orders when Abby came up to us with a huge smile. "So I'm taking nominations for the best costume award," she said to me.
"There's an award?" I asked a little surprised.
"Just a bottle of Champagne," she said.
"Okay, who are the nominees?" I asked.
"Well you can pretty much nominate anyone," she said, then she grinned, "but I can tell you that the 'guy that looks like that NSYNC guy' is leading in the polls."
"He's going to die," I laughed.
"No he's going to be thrilled," Abby corrected me.
"You think?"
"Come on, he was freaking on what to wear."
"Yeah, but he isn't really winning for what he's wearing is he? It's for being himself...or his stage self."
"Oh...," said Abby thoughtfully. "Well who are you nominating?"
"Like I have a choice? I nominate the NSYNC guy too!" I said smirking at her.
"Oookay!" she said, and walked off to talk to some others.
I turned and saw Justin walking towards me, smiling.
I smiled back at him and ordered another beer from the bartender, which I handed to Justin as he came up to me.
"Thanks," he said.
"Having a good time?"
"Yes. You?"
"Yep!" I said.
We were interrupted as the music stopped and Abby stepped up on stage. Taking a microphone she proceeded to thank everyone for coming to Tony's 30th and we all cheered. Then a friend of Tony's got up and made a short speech and Tony got up and made a very short thank you speech, which I think can be summed up as 'Thanks everyone, let's get back to partying!'
Everyone cheered. But Abby stepped back to the microphone and said that she had some awards to make. She made one to the person who came the farthest distance - some cousin from England - and to the 'most distant relative', then she said there was an award for best costume and I could sense Justin stiffen beside me.
I was wondering what was going to happen and she said, "The award goes to Gary!" and this guy in a costume that looked like a guy riding a penguin came up. It looked ridiculous, but hell if someone was brave enough to wear that, then they should win an award. And then be locked up.
Justin relaxed and I turned to him. "Sorry you didn't win?" I asked and a disappointed expression passed over his face for a second, then was replaced with a smile. "No...I knew I didn't have a chance with this stuff," he said, picking at his shirt dejectedly.
I punched his shoulder.
"So you really wanted to huh?" I laughed.
He grinned even wider, "...well..."
"Ah well," I said, "too bad!"
Just then Abby popped up beside us.
"Hey there!" she said.
"Hey Abbey!" said Justin.
"This is for you," she said handing him a bottle of Champagne.
"What?!"
"You actually got the most votes for best dressed, but I didn't think you wanted to get called up, so here you go," and she put her arms around him and hugged him.
Justin laughed and had this huge grin on his face. "I won!" he said like a little kid.
"Hey," I said to Abby, "I think you just did that so you could get a hug!"
"Oh...you feeling left out?" she laughed, and turned and hugged me.
"That's better!" I said. "Now go hug your hubby before he gets jealous."
"Okay, see you!" and off she went.
I turned back to Justin, who was admiring the bottle of Champagne.
"That okay?" I asked.
"What?" he asked, puzzled.
"Not getting called up? We weren't sure whether you'd want to or not. We knew you wanted to win though!"
"Huh! Yeah, it's fine."
I leaned in, "I overheard a couple of girls saying they thought you were cuter than Justin." I didn't add the part about being gay.
He laughed.
We were still standing there about ten minutes later when Abby came back, followed by a couple of women who looked to be in their early thirties. Abby stepped up to us and said "Ethan, Justin, these are my friends Ellie and Karen."
We both said "Hi." Karen was of about average height with light brown hair. Ellie was tall and thin with striking blond hair. Ellie was definitely the attractive one of the pair, though Karen wasn't the type you'd simply describe as having a good personality. She was quite nice to look at.
Abby leaned in toward us both and whispered, "They're a couple, but they want to dance with you."
"Oh, no...no...thanks...that's okay," I said.
"Why not?" I heard Justin say and I looked at him in surprise.
"Really?" I asked him.
"Why not. Give it a try?" he nodded.
I shrugged, and suddenly the four of us were out on the dance floor in a far corner. They were playing dance music and we were bouncing around and though we were supposedly dancing with the woman next to us I glanced over every now and again to see Justin standing beside me. It was actually pretty fun, and we chatted a bit with Ellie and Karen too. They seemed nice. I mean, you can't really get to know someone dancing on a dance floor when you're really trying to be with your boyfriend, but you kind of get a flavor of them.
After we'd been dancing for some time they started a slow song and we had to pair up. I really wanted to pair up with Justin. But I knew he couldn't do it, so I danced with Karen and it was nice to hold someone and sway slowly to the music. Occasionally Justin bumped against me. I think that just increased my frustration.
Then there was faster numbers and we bounced around again but I felt like I'd had enough. Karen was up for stopping so the two of us went and sat down for a bit chatting about our other halves.
It turned out Karen worked for a textbook publisher as an editor and Ellie was a nutritionist.
"So how long have you two been together?" she asked me.
"Um...not long...he's away a lot too...so if you put it all together maybe only a month," I said and I grinned.
She smiled.
"How long have you been together?" I asked.
"Nine years."
"Wow, that's...wow that's great."
"Yeah, we've beaten the odds," she nodded.
"Well it's a stereotype, but gay women tend to stay together longer than men," I said.
"You giving up already?" she asked me, one eyebrow raised slightly.
"What? No! Just resigned to the inevitability of it."
"If you think that way you won't last."
I shrugged, "I thought it would be difficult...but it's been harder than I thought, and it keeps getting harder...and more difficult."
"Sorry," she said sincerely.
"It's okay. So how'd you meet?" I asked and she proceeded to tell me about how they met, right up to them getting a place together. It was kind of romantic listening to the story, and I started to feel all warm inside. The problem was I couldn't see many parallels between her story and ours. Her's was almost 'straight' or 'normal' compared to ours.
She had just started to ask some details about us when Justin came bounding over.
"You not dancing any more?" he asked squatting down on the floor beside my chair.
"I didn't take all my pills this morning," I said.
"Yeah, yeah, you are so out of shape. I'm gonna have to drag your flabby butt to the gym man!"
I leaned down and whispered "You liked my flabby butt this morning," and Justin grinned nervously and flushed red. "Hey, you want to go?" I asked him. "I've only got you until tomorrow afternoon and I don't want to share you all evening."
He looked into my eyes and we stared for a moment and he nodded with a smile on his face.
"Let's say good bye to the birthday boy," I said standing, and I turned to Karen "Karen, thanks for...the dance...and great to meet you."
Karen stood and said "You're welcome," and leaned over and kissed my cheek and then she did the same to Justin. "Oh," she said, "here's my card," and she gave me her card, and I took out mine and gave it to her.
Ellie came back just at that moment with a couple of drinks in her hands. We quickly said goodbye to her, and then we went over and said goodbye to Tony and Abby. They were sorry we were leaving early. Well Abby was, I think Tony was a little past caring.
I guess you're only thirty once.
We found John hanging out chatting with a very attractive woman and he was kind of reluctant to go. I suggested he stay, but he said no, he had to see us back to the apartment. I told him he could always come back.
We cabbed it back to the apartment, John seeing us to the door and inside, and then he left us. I don't know if he went back to the party or not.
Inside Justin flicked on all the lights as he went in. I followed along behind him, flicking off the lights.
"Hey!" he said stopping and turning to face me as I came up behind him.
"What?" I said.
"Why are you turning off all the lights?"
"It's too bright!" I laughed. "Wait right here" I said, and I went over to the CD player and found some nice soft music to dance to and turned it on. Then I walked back to him, turning on a small lamp in the corner, and turning everything else off. The room seemed warm and cozy, and the sound of David Gray came softly into the room and I went up to Justin and said, "May I have the pleasure of this dance?"
We wrapped ours arms around each other and started to rock back and forth to the music, our heads leaning on each others shoulders.
It was so nice to feel him close to me. To be able to squeeze him and run my arms up and down his back. To smell him and kiss him. To rock back and forth and slowly move around the room.
I could have done it all night.
But then we started kissing and other urges started to take over. We began stripping each other, pawing each other, and I kept wanting to say 'slow down,' but I was fumbling with his clothing just as desperately as he was.
Blindly, we started edging toward the bedroom, the kissing continuing, clothes being discarded as we went. By the time we made it to the bed we were naked except for our underwear. I separated from Justin for a second and he quickly shoved down his boxer briefs and fell back on the bed. I pulled down my boxers and gently lay on top of him, licking up his chest as I went and then leaning in to kiss him, our tongues sliding out to meet each other. I was on top of him, grinding into him and he was clawing at my back as we kissed. He groaned in excitement and then he leaned forward and whispered in my ear.
"Fuck Me!"
------------------------------- To be continued...
My other stories:
High School: Do What You Can
Celebrity: Boy Bands: Birthday Blues