All the Ways I Love You

All the Ways I Love You

This story is about male/male relationships and contains graphic descriptions of sex.

You should not read this story if it is in any way illegal due to your age or residence.

This is a work of pure fiction. It mixes fictional characters and events with real people. However any real person mentioned in this work is purely an actor playing a part. This story in no way is meant to imply anything about the sexuality, personality, or behavior of the actual person.

Copyright 2003 Jason Calme. This story is the sole property of its author and may not be copied in whole or in part or posted on any website without the permission of the author.

Questions and commentary can be sent to "JasonCalme@yahoo.com".

Chapter 13

The next morning, after a slow start, we took a cab to the zoo and walked around for a couple of hours. It was fun to be anywhere with Justin, but I don't think either of us were quit as interested in the animals as we had been in the planes. We still had a blast talking about things and just enjoying being with each other.

At one point we started getting a little silly; pretending to translate what the animals were thinking. I was the voice of a tiger considering which of the visitors would make for good eating. In front of the flamingos Justin got so carried away with his impression that he started flapping his arms and dancing about. It was doubly silly as he was doing it on one leg. I was laughing so hard I couldn't stand straight.

But then I noticed people watching him and I began to worry. Were they looking at this silly guy just because he was dancing about, or were they wondering where they had seen him before? Would they recognize him? I couldn't decide. So I grabbed him in a hug and half carried, half dragged him off to the next exhibit. I was kind of sad that I had to stop him in the middle of it, but I tried to put it out of my mind. The pluses of being with Justin were still more than the minuses.

And I kidded him about his 'chicken' dance for the rest of the day. It was another great day.

That night Justin took Dave and I to dinner at a restaurant. It was a nice place that Dave had suggested. There was talk of going to a club or a bar afterwards, but we were tired and I didn't want to share Justin with anyone right now.

Back at Dave's apartment we decided to watch some TV. Dave and I went into the kitchen to make coffee while Justin flipped through the channels.

"Listen," Dave said as he hunted through the freezer for coffee beans. "Ah...it's about this weekend."

"Yeah?" I said, looking up from the dishwasher. I was trying to figure out if the mugs were clean or not.

"Well I know I said I was going to hang out with you this weekend..."

"Yeah?"

"Well I was wondering if it'd be okay if..." and he trailed off.

"What?"

"Look, there's this girl I met a while back...and we've dated a bit and...well she just asked me if I'd go with her and another couple up to this cabin this weekend."

"Oh I see," I said pretending to sound hurt. "So when it comes down to quality time with cousin, or getting some, you want to get some!"

"It's not like that...well...well I really like her, you know."

"Huh!" I said laying on the hurt.

"You can still stay here."

"Oh, and what am I going to do?" I protested.

"Like you really need some ideas?" Dave said conspiratorially, and poked me in the chest. "Is that okay?"

"Yeah! Yeah," I nodded, "it's okay. Just think of me every time you get laid!"

"Shit! I'd never get laid thinking of you!" he laughed and walked back into the living room.

"So what do you want to do?" I said to Justin as we lay in bed that night. I'd just told him that Dave was going away and we could either stay or go back to New York.

"Uh," Justin said thoughtfully, his brow furrowing as he thought. Then he shrugged. "I don't know."

"Come on! Tell me!"

"I just like being with you," he replied with a big grin on his face.

"Good answer," I said. "But what would you like to do?"

He shrugged again.

I jumped on top of him and started tickling. He squealed and I stopped myself. I guess I was still thinking about what Dave had said. Justin seemed to catch himself too.

I was now sitting on top of Justin's chest and he was looking up at me.

"So watcha wanna?" I asked.

He shrugged. If he kept that up I was going to have to slap him, or tickle him. Or maybe both.

"You don't care?"

He looked thoughtful again.

"Spit it out!" I begged.

"I guess...I like it here, but I'd like to go back to New York. You know, back to your place."

"Hmm," I said, I was finding the bed a little uncomfortable. And we were definitely being a little more restrained after discovering we were both so noisy. And we'd kind of done the touristy bit and, okay, I didn't really care what I did as long as it was with Justin. It sounded like a good idea to me.

"Okay," I said smiling down at him, "we go back. But if you're going to be staying at my place you better know that I charge for the privilege."

"I don't have any money," he shrugged, smiling innocently.

"Well I accept payment in a number of different ways," I whispered to him, and began to run my fingers down his chest. He groaned in anticipation.

I shushed him. "Not so loud. You'll have Dave banging on the walls."

Justin laughed.

We spent the next hour trying to get each other off. We'd get into a frenzy and then one of us would make a noise and the other would go 'shh!' and we'd dissolve into giggles. I don't think we were any quieter, and it dragged out the process a whole lot longer. It's amazingly hard to orgasm while you're giggling.

But it was a lot of fun.

The next morning I told Dave that we were going to go back to New York. He got all upset that we were going because of him, but I kind of laid it on a bit thick about how Justin had some things he had to get done. When that didn't work I finally said I just wanted to take Justin back home so I could really fuck his brains out. Dave said we could use his bed after he left, but I assured him we just wanted to go. We'd had a great time touring around and it had been fun seeing him, but we just wanted to get back home. He finally agreed to let us go.

After Dave left for work we debated touring around some more or leaving. Justin was antsy to just go. I think he liked seeing new things, but got tired of having to worry about being seen. I think, or maybe I hoped, that he just wanted to spend some quiet, comfortable time with me, and somehow it hard to get really comfortable in someone else's apartment. So we packed up our stuff, folded up the bed for the last time, then jumped in the car and headed out just after the morning rush hour had ended.

The drive up was fun. We spent a lot of time arguing over what songs to listen to. I had a stack of CDs and Justin went through them picking out songs he liked. Every now and again he would let me choose a song. He also kept telling me that I had to widen my collection and that he was going to get me some discs to listen to.

'Oh great!' I thought.

It was kind of exciting being back in my apartment. I returned the car and we settled in. Justin hadn't really stayed there before, so it was new to him. I cleared out a drawer in my dresser and told him it was all his. Little did I realize how prophetic that would be.

The next day, Friday, Justin said he wanted to do something 'special'; but it was a secret. So we hoped in a cab and ended up in a rather expensive looking neighborhood in front of a non-descript building.

We clambered out and Justin glanced around, looking a little nervous.

"What's this?" I said not quite sure what we were doing there.

"Blood tests," he said, a big grin on his face.

I was a little shocked. "Blood tests?" I repeated.

"Yeah," he said, then he caught the fact that I was a little shocked. "Is that okay?" he asked, concern in his voice. "I thought we talked about doing that before."

"Ah...yeah...I just...well I guess I hadn't thought we'd go and do it...you know...together."

"You didn't?" Justin seemed surprised. "Oh...well if you don't want to," he shrugged, but he was obviously disappointed.

"No, no, it's okay...I was just surprised, that's all. Sure! Let's do it," and I grabbed him by the arm and we started up the stairs.

It turned out this was a place that catered to very wealthy clients. Inside we were waved into our own private room to wait. It was really over the top. Expensive, but very tasteful decor. I half expected someone to come in and offer us champagne. I guessed that my health insurance wouldn't cover this place.

"I'm paying," Justin said before I could ask about the cost. "They said it'll take a few days for the results to come back," he said, pausing, "but hopefully we'll know by the time I get back."

"When's that going to be?" I asked absently.

"Couple of weeks. I'm going to try and get back the middle of the week after next. Stay through the end of the weekend."

"Huh," I said, thinking. "You know I was thinking of going up to my parents that weekend."

"You were?"

"Yeah."

"Oh," he said, frowning a little.

"You could come too if you want," I offered, though it was only a polite invitation. I didn't really expect him to come. It wasn't like I was making plans to introduce him to the folks. It was only after six months of dating that I took the last boyfriend up to meet the family.

"Uh..."

"I can cancel and go another time," I said, not really concerned. As much as I liked my family, I wasn't going to miss any time with Justin.

"Um...let me think about it, Okay?"

"Sure. No pressure. As I said, I can just move it."

A nurse came in and took us, individually, into another room and took a blood sample. Justin filled out some paperwork, I filled out a form, and we were done.

"What do you want to do now?" I asked Justin as we stepped out.

"Your turn to pick!" said Justin.

"How about we go to a movie?" I said, and Justin nodded, so we caught a cab down town to see what was playing.

Saturday we went to the golf range; of course! Justin had tried to persuade me to go to a golf course with him, but I declined. It would have been costly, difficult to get to, and time consuming. Maybe next time I said.

Sex was still shy, halting, and glorious. I couldn't figure it out. We didn't do much except touching, rubbing, stroking and hugging, but it was some of the best sex I'd ever had. I decided we just must be in perfect tune with one another.

And then there was the sleeping and cuddling with him. That was just as good. I liked to lie awake with him asleep beside me. I was awfully lonely once he left.

Sunday morning I got bagels and cream cheese and we lay in bed eating and reading the paper. Or more accurately, I read the paper while Justin draped himself over me.

He did read for a little while. He paged through the latest issue of Rolling Stone. Then he borrowed my iPod and listened to music and just lay beside me. Whenever one of us got up to do something we'd climb or slid over the other, deliberately rubbing as much as possible against the other.

I was reading a review in the Books section when I noticed that Justin was sliding his body against my side. I ignored him, though I could tell he was trying to get my attention. He moved so that he was almost on top of me, still rubbing his body back and forth. I could feel his erection. I rolled over to face him, papers crumpling around us, and he ended up on top of me.

"Can I help you?" I asked him.

"I'm fine," he said, a smile on his face, as he continued to slide against me.

I was about to say something when the phone rang.

"Hello?" I squeaked as Justin moved on top of me.

"Hi Ethan!"

"Hey Abby!" I said.

"What's up?" Abby asked.

"Justin," I said smirking at him as he reddened a little, then I added, "Justin's up for just about anything right now."

Abby laughed. "Well I don't want to know that. Just called to see if you're going to bring him over for dinner tonight."

"Uh...hang on," I said. I held my hand over the handset. "Want to have dinner with Abby and Tony tonight?" I asked. He nodded.

"Sure," I said just as Justin groped me and I groaned.

"What's going on?" she laughed.

"I have a very horny boy on top of me right now," I said.

"That's disgusting!" Abby laughed.

"You're jealous," I countered.

"Are you kidding me? I've got one here too. I've spent all morning fighting him off."

"That sounds like no fun at all," I said, half distracted by Justin who was really getting into humping against me. "I'm gonna have to talk to you later Abby," I said.

"Okay."

"Hey, what time? Should we bring anything?" I asked.

"How about six? Bring some wine?"

"Okay," I groaned.

"I didn't quite catch that," Abby laughed impishly.

"Bye Abby," I said, and I leaned over and hung up the phone.

When I turned back, Justin's face was only inches from mine, a huge smile on his face.

"Hey," he said to me quietly.

I smiled back. "Hey," I said to him.

He leaned down for a quick kiss, and then pulled back, smiling wide. We stared into each other's eyes. He leaned in and we kissed again, this time with a little more passion. I ran my hands up his back and felt him shiver a little.

He pulled away again, looking down into my eyes and smiling. "So are you still reading?" he asked me. I could feel his pelvis sliding slowly back and forth.

"I think I'm done," I said, and he leaned down and kissed me again. He moved down the side of my face, kissing softly as he went.

"So what would you like to do now?" he whispered into my ear.

"Oh, I don't know," I groaned. "I'm kind of drawing a blank. Do you have any ideas?" I whispered.

"I can think of something," he whispered back, settling down on top of me and starting to grind against me as he chewed on my ear.

I was in heaven.

We went over to Abby and Tony's and had a quiet dinner with them. It was fun. Justin was relaxed, though I was careful not to smother him. A little touching now and again, but I didn't kiss or hug him while we were there. I just didn't think he would be comfortable.

We didn't stay the night.

The next day Justin got his stuff together and I went with him in the taxi to the airport. We kissed and hugged goodbye in the apartment since it wouldn't be safe in the taxi or at the airport.

Saying goodbye was hard. We just stood there for a minute, looking into each other's eyes. Then Justin quickly hugged me and turned and walked away, turning and waving quickly when he was half way down the corridor.

We spoke on the phone almost every day. Sometimes twice a day. One day it seemed we were on the phone all day long for one reason or another. That was the day we got the blood tests back. We were both clean.

There was still no word on my trip to LA, but Justin was coming back in a couple of weeks and we were already planning ahead for that. I was thinking that now we had the blood tests out of the way, sex would proceed in leaps and bounds.

Don't ask why, but I was finding it difficult to concentrate as his arrival drew nearer.

I'd asked him again if he wanted to go up to my parents and he had kind of waffled. I really just wanted him to say yes or no, not drag it out.

I was also doing some thinking about our relationship in the abstract sense. When we'd met, Justin had driven the relationship. Now the relationship had changed and I was leading more while he was following along. I wasn't sure how things would continue, but I didn't think he'd continue to be so submissive. Or be happy if it stayed that way.

Justin arrived Tuesday evening; much earlier than I'd expected. But I didn't object!

He rang the front doorbell and I nervously waited for him to come up. When I opened the door he was standing there with three suitcases, two shoulder bags, a clothes bag, and a large black man that I assumed to be his bodyguard. Justin smiled at me and said "Hi," and walked in carrying a suitcase and one of the shoulder bags. I picked up the other two suitcases, nodding briefly at the other man, who brought in the rest of the stuff. I dropped the bags on the floor and then Justin walked back to the door with the bodyguard, saying something that I didn't catch. Then the man was gone and Justin came back into the living room.

"Lucy! I'm home!" he yelled, opening his arms wide and giving me a huge grin.

I stepped up to him and hugged him tight, kissing him on the mouth, then putting my head on his shoulder just against his neck and smelling him, feeling his body close to me. We stood there for a few moments, gently rocking back and forth, and then he pulled back a little and we untangled.

"How was the flight?" I asked.

"Okay" he said. I knew he was a nervous flyer, so I didn't dwell on it.

"You hungry?" I asked.

He glanced over at the table that I had set with flowers and candles and he grinned.

"Yeah...in a bit. Let me unpack first."

I looked at the bags.

"How long you staying for?" I asked. "You've got enough bags here for three people for a month."

"Well I'm not going back home from here."

"Oh."

"And some of this is to stay here so I have stuff and don't have to bring things every time," he said, picking up one of the bags and heading towards the bedroom.

"That's sounds like a good idea," I said. I'd live to regret that.

It turned out that the two largest bags were filled with stuff he planned to leave here. There were sneakers, new packs of underwear and shirts, and pants of all descriptions. It all looked brand new and I wanted to ask if he'd just bought them, and if so, why? Why not just buy stuff here? But I decided not to say anything. Instead I fought the wars I thought I could win. Like denying him complete control of my dresser and wardrobe.

I ended up giving him a second drawer (the things we do for sex!) and a quarter of the wardrobe. I thought that was more than enough considering a) it was my apartment and b) he wasn't going to be here as much as I was. He didn't see it that way, and we ended up agreeing to disagree. I could foresee that I was going to have to fight for every inch of wardrobe space in the coming months.

After an hour of him carefully folding and rearranging things, and trying to move my stuff, I finally suggested he leave the rest of his things in one of the suitcases and I would 'put it somewhere.' I also let him know that somewhere might be up his ass if he wasn't careful.

I finally left him to it and went to check on the dinner; roast chicken and home made apple pie.

Someone once told me you can impress the hell out of anyone by roasting them a chicken. The theory is that people who can't cook think that roasting a chicken is a big deal. When in reality it isn't. >From my own experience, roasting a chicken is no big deal; though it is hard to get it exactly right. There's nothing worse than an underdone chicken!

The apple pie was for a different reason. I once read about a study of fragrances conducted to find out which ones turned on males the most. It turned out that apple pie was about the strongest. I can't remember why.

Maybe because it reminded them of happy times.

Or Mom.

It's a bit of a worry if it's the latter. And frankly, it might have been pumpkin pie. Well I like apple pie better, so that's what I made. If it didn't turn Justin on, then I'd just have to try covering myself in baby oil and rolling on top of him.

I set about doing the last few things for the dinner. Getting some peas defrosted in the microwave, and mashing the potatoes.

I was just taking out the chicken when Justin padded in. I looked up. He'd showered and his hair was wet and matted to his head. He was wearing some old blue jeans and an old sweatshirt. They looked soft and comfortable and he looked so cozy and delicious I just wanted to scoop him up and cuddle with him for an hour or three. But I just smiled at him and he smiled back, and then I waved him out of the kitchen and told him to go open the bottle of wine.

Dinner was a quiet - and maybe a little nervous - affair. I think we were both thinking of dessert (and I don't mean the pie) and that was causing a lot of thinking. We'd talked on the phone so it wasn't like we actually had a lot of new things to talk about. I did try and find out what he thought about the idea of going up to my parents, and he again tried to put off a decision.

"Justin," I finally said, "if you don't want to go that's perfectly fine. In a way that's probably the best thing to do anyway. We just, we need to decide, and if you can't make up your mind then I'm happy to make the decision for us.

"No. I want to go," he protested.

"You sure?" I said not believing him.

"Yeah. I just...you know, it's a big step," he said, idly running his fork over the mashed potatoes.

"I know. And maybe it's too soon," I agreed.

"No I want to go," he said.

"Okay. Well I'll call them, and Justin..."

"Yeah?" he said, looking up.

"If you change your mind just let me know. There's no obligation and you can pull out if you want to. Okay?"

"Yeah. It's fine."

"Kay."

After dinner I pulled out the surprise I'd bought before he'd arrived. It was a PlayStation 2 and some games. I'd been tempted to get the Xbox, but the idea of contributing to Bill Gates billions just made me nauseas. And I already had a Sony TV!

Justin thought I was a nut. I don't think he understood my logic at all, though I don't think he really cared what I'd bought. In a way, I felt like a fourteen year old again. I wondered if maybe Justin had actually out grown it. But we ended up playing for a couple of hours and having a good evening together.

A little after midnight I was starting to tire, and Justin was feeling a tired too. Probably the trip had worn him out.

"You ready for bed?" I asked him expectantly.

He looked at me for a moment, and nodded. "Yeah," he said.

I told him to go wash up while I finished tidying up, but he hovered about trying to help and generally getting underfoot. I wanted to shoo him away, but I knew he was just trying to be helpful so I just went with it, asking him to do a few things.

Then we went down to the bedroom and I turned to him.

"You want to wash up first?" I asked.

"Okay," he smiled. He stood there for a moment, obviously trying to say something and I thought 'oh no, here it comes.' There's going to be some concern about sex that I'm going to have to deal with before we even get into bed.

He opened his mouth tentatively. "You want to brush your teeth too?"

And I didn't quite get it for a second, but then I understood. He wanted us to brush our teeth together like we had in Washington that time. That was sweet, and I felt all warm towards him.

"Sure," I nodded, and went down to the bathroom together. Justin disappeared for a moment as he grabbed his toiletry bag from the bedroom. I pulled out my brush and he pulled out his and I grabbed his toothpaste and squeezed some onto his brush, then he did the same for me.

"Oh wait!" I said, and rushed down to the kitchen and came back with a glass for him. We filled the two glasses and then we started brushing, standing there side by side, just touching now and again, Justin being careful not to poke me in the eye. We brushed and spat, brushed some more, rinsed. Then Justin brushed some more, and some more and some more. This was definitely a major event for Justin, and it was obvious why he wanted to share it with someone. I'd have gotten seriously lonely brushing for that long.

He finally finished and I wondered if he had any enamel left on his teeth.

"Tooth check!" I said and stepped up to him and kissed him, my tongue snaking into his mouth and I felt around his teeth as best I could, tasting the sweet taste of the toothpaste in his mouth.

"Hmm, not bad, but that molar second in on the top right needs some more brushing young man!" I said to him as seriously as I could.

He raised one eyebrow and ignored me.

"Okay, I'm going now" I said, stepping out of the bathroom and leaving him to finish up. I went down to the bedroom and stood there wondering what I was going to wear. I wasn't sure what kind of party to expect, or how to dress. Was it an au natural party, or did I need pajamas? Well, I had the bathroom second, so I figured if I gave Justin long enough I'd follow his lead.

Just as long as he didn't spend an hour repacking his suitcase.

Justin came back and I slipped out to the bathroom. I idly remembered that Justin had taken a shower before dinner. Maybe that was a good idea. A quick shower. It would fill in a few minutes, and I'd be fresh; in case something happened. So I took a really quick shower, making sure I was clean everywhere.

I dried myself off quickly and brushed my hair before heading to the bedroom, a towel around my waist.

Justin was in bed when I entered, squirreled under the covers. All I could see was his head. I couldn't even see his neck. It looked like he was holding the covers to his neck with his hands, and if I hadn't known better I might have suspected that he was actually hiding from me on purpose.

I wasn't sure what to wear. And there were no signs to help me either. Damn! Now I had to make a decision. And, I had to get dressed in front of him.

I looked at Justin. He was lying there with a very innocent expression on his face.

"Comfortable?" I asked casually, looking around the room and still evaluating my options.

"Very," he said, smiling at me broadly.

He was silent and I was thoughtful, and I almost thought I heard him giggle to himself.

"So what are you wearing to bed?" I finally asked, trying to sound casual.

He looked at me. "I already told you how I like to sleep!" he said grinning. I thought for a second. He had? I couldn't remember that. Then I remembered the phone call when he'd been in LA and he told me he was butt naked in bed.

"Really," I said, and I walked over to stand beside him. He looked up at me, waiting to see what I was going to do.

"I just want to check something," I said, and reached down and grabbed at the bedclothes and pulled them up. Justin tugged at them but I pulled hard and they slipped out of his hand, whipping upwards and revealing him lying naked underneath.

"Hey!" he squealed, but I let the covers fall back into place and walked back to the dresser. I pulled out some boxers and slid them on under the towel so Justin didn't get a peak, then I dropped the towel and went over and climbed into bed.

Justin stared at me, a look of bewilderment on his face.

"What?" I asked casually.

"You're wearing shorts to bed?" he asked.

"Hey, I'm not an exhibitionist like some people I know," I said lying back. Then I rolled over so I was facing him. "Besides," I whispered into his ear, "We might need something to wipe up the mess with afterwards," and I pulled him into a long hard kiss.

Soon we were rolling around and kissing and feeling each other, and really into it. The hesitancy of the first few times was gone, and it was like the last time just before he'd left. Really hot and heavy. And I was out of my shorts pretty damn quick, and we were hard and naked against one another. But after several minutes of rubbing and touching I wanted more.

I started licking down his neck and then over his chest, sliding downward. Licking and kissing, licking and kissing. He was running his fingers through my hair, seemingly pushing me down and pulling me back at the same time. I was close. So close. Past the navel, licking all around and poking my tongue in and out as he giggled. Then slowly, terribly slowly, licking down further. I knew it was there. The hair trail was starting to widen. Soon I would be deep in the nest of his wiry pubic hair. Oh so close.

Don't let him stop me, please God, don't let him stop me.

Justin was groaning in pleasure. I was running my fingers up and down his chest. Just inches now.

Lower and lower.

Smelling him. Licking him. Licking the hair. Slicking it down with my tongue. His penis, hard, was sticking up and I could see it. Just move my head and pop it into my mouth...that was all it would take...but I wanted to start at the base. I was licking ever lower.

Almost there. Please Justin, let me do this.

"Ethan," he whispered.

Just let me do it Justin. I'm almost there. We're both going to love this. Please Justin.

"Ethan," he repeated, his fingers starting to tighten in my hair.

Oh no! Shit! He's going to stop me.

"Mmm?" I moaned, pushing on. Trying to lick some more, but he was pulling me back to him and sitting up.

I turned to face him.

"Ethan," he repeated again and I had to turn back to face him.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing, come back up and kiss me some more," he whispered.

Damn. I turned and slid up to him. He looked a little worried and he pulled me close to him and kissed me passionately. Hard. As though he wanted to prove he loved me.

I didn't know what to do. How to tell him how I was feeling? How to do it without ruining everything? Should I just pretend to be okay and continue on? Could I be okay? Damn! Shit!

I pulled apart from him and smiled at him.

"Are you okay?" I said.

"Yes!" he whispered back.

"Are you sure? Everything's okay?"

"Yeah. It's fine."

"Then," I leaned forward and kissed him, "...why...", I kissed him again, "...don't..." and kissed him again, "...you... (kiss)... want...(kiss)... me...(kiss)... to...(kiss)... blow...(kiss)... you?"

I pulled back and looked into his face and saw worry.

"I...I'm just not ready," he said sadly.

I'd told myself before not to do it. I wasn't going to get mad at Justin over sex things. But for a moment I guess I let the frustration show as I rolled me eyes and hissed out a breath.

Justin recoiled a little, and then he just got up and walked out of the bedroom. He didn't run. He just walked.

I sat there calling his name but he didn't turn back or stop.

"Shit!" I exclaimed, and mentally kicked myself. I knew I should have just not said anything. Shit! Now I was going to have to beg him to forgive me.

I jumped up and was about to go out the door when I wondered if I should be naked when I spoke with him. I decided maybe not. I grabbed a pair of sweatpants off the floor and pulled them on and then went out the door.

Where was Justin? Well it was only a tiny apartment, so there weren't many choices. And he had no clothes on so I doubted he went out.

I walked down to the bathroom. The door was closed. I guessed he was in there.

I tapped on the door lightly. "Justin?" I called.

"What?" said a voice from the living room. I jumped a bit and turned to look into the room. I could just make out his shape on the couch. I walked slowly over to him. I was about to ask him if he was okay, but even in the poor light I could see that he was not. There were tears in his eyes and running down his cheeks. He was sitting with his feet on the couch, this knees under his chin and his arms around his legs. He looked as though he was shivering.

"What's the matter Justin?" I asked quietly.

He looked into my eyes and looked as though he was trying to gain the courage to say something. He opened his mouth, but then his courage failed him and he turned away from me and sobbed lightly, running his arm over his face.

"Wait here a second," I said and I turned and ran back into the bedroom, grabbing a couple of blankets and then scampering back into the living room. As I came back Justin was watching me to see what I was doing. I dropped one blanket onto the floor, but opened the other one out in front of him, and then draped it around his back and over his arms and legs. As I let go of it I ran my hand over his head and he looked up and smiled at me.

I picked up the other blanket and draped it around myself, sitting down on the couch next to him.

"You want to talk about it?" I asked him.

He nodded but he didn't say anything.

"It's okay...whenever you're ready...I'll wait," I said, sitting there and smiling at him.

"I thought..." he began tentatively, "I thought I was okay with it. But I don't think I am."

"Okay with it?" I asked. Okay with oral sex? Well okay, I guess that's okay.

"I just...I don't think I can do this."

"Oral sex?"

"Be gay," he said softly.

Oh shit. We're back to that.

To be continued...