All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language, please exit now.
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"ALL MY TOMORROWS"
Copyright Ritchris 2005
sequel to "As I Remember Him"
A story by
Ritch Christopher
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CHAPTER FIVE
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David hadn't sustained any broken bones injury from the accident, but his muscles were sore as were other parts of his body where he had suffered bruises and abrasions. His emotional state was in much worse condition than his physical situation. In less than three weeks, David had lost his brother to hepatitis C; experienced the shock of recognition of his own homosexuality; fallen in love with a man for the first time, and only one week later, his first and only lover, Luke, was killed in a traffic accident; he had broken off his engagement from his fiancee, Jenny, quit his senior year at college, and had all but been disowned by his father. He had a right to be emotionally and mentally unstable.
The highway patrolmen had saved his luggage, so he at least had clothes to wear. David DID have around three hundred dollars in his checking account. Fortunately, David's father couldn't get access to David's bank account or he surely would have withdrawn David's money, leaving him with nothing. Out of sheer spite, he had cancelled all of David's credit cards. But David DID have a place to stay, a new roommate, Jerry, and a paid 'sitter', Richard, who'd look after his needs while Jerry was at work.
Sunday morning, the day before David moved into his new dwelling, Jerry had taken time to paint and redecorate his spare bedroom to make it look comfortable and appealing to his new boarder. Two days earlier, Jerry had finagled enough money from George Hemphill, Luke's attorney, to buy a new bedroom suite--a dresser, a chest of drawers, an etagere for future books and CD's, two night tables, two bedside lamps, and a queen-sized bed with a upholstered foam-layered mattress, plus bedding---matching sheets, blankets, comforter, bedspread, and curtains. David's room was brand new, through and through.
There was only one bathroom in Jerry's house, connecting the two bedrooms with an entrance from each. So, as long as the lawyer would foot the bill for David's furnishings, Jerry bought new towels, washcloths, shower curtain, and a bath mat. Jerry also thought David needed his own TV and stereo system. A new juicer appeared in the kitchen, on which Richard could prepare nourishing drinks for his new charge. The lawyer, George Hemphill, apparently felt he was over a financial barrel. George realized that David would be staying with a policeman who knew the law, but George was also aware that David might want to sue Luke's estate for a million dollars or more. So in the long run, keeping David happy with new furniture and a few fancy doodads AND a 'sitter' would be a lot cheaper than an automobile accident settlement. should David decide to make a claim. David was to be discharged from UVA Hospital at 10:00 Monday morning, so Jerry had arrived an hour earlier to get David's suitcases, David's medicine and prescriptions, and a copy of David's discharge plan and a handwritten document from David's doctors containing orders for Richard concerning David's physical therapy...how much to give and how often.
David and Jerry arrived home around noon. They had stopped at the nearest Wendy's to buy take-home lunch. When David saw the house, he was not at all disappointed. Jerry was afraid David would think it was too small because David and Mark's house was large and set in an affluent neighborhood. At the time when Jerry leased his house, he was just a rookie, trying to make ends meet on a rookie's salary and this small dwelling was really all he could afford at the time. He didn't date and had never thought he might acquire a roommate. The house could easily accommodate the needs of a single guy, but now it would be shared by two...at least temporarily...maybe longer.
David loved his room, thanking Jerry and complimenting him on the way he had furnished it. Jerry hadn't stopped to think that David had been living in a cubicle no bigger than a jail cell in the UVA dorm for the past three years, so the room with the big bed was more than David could ask for. He thought he was really going to like living here with Jerry. However David kept looking at Jerry, wondering if there might be the slightest chance that maybe...had Jerry been harboring the same feelings that David had kept hidden from himself until three weeks ago? THAT thought David kept to himself since Jerry had not given the tiniest hint that he might be gay. Jerry was straight and David told himself to keep reminding himself of that fact constantly. The last thing David needed was another eviction brought on by his newly found homosexuality. Still, there was Richard...?
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Richard came to the house to begin his new 'sitting' job around two o'clock that afternoon. This gave Jerry the opportunity to show him around, to discuss the doctor's orders, and show Richard where everything was kept in the kitchen. Richard didn't 'let on', but he admitted to himself that he was attracted to Jerry immediately on seeing Jerry in his policeman's uniform. To Richard, Jerry looked very much like Josh Hartnett. Jerry didn't eye Richard in the same way, but with Richard's blonde hair and blue eyes, Jerry DID think that Richard reminded him of Brad Pitt, just a little.
At 2:45, Jerry left for work and now it was time for Richard to go to work. Richard first asked David if he would like a snack and David politely declined. Then he suggested that David should do some light range-of-motion exercises, to which David, begrudgingly, agreed. Richard asked David if he owned a pair of running shorts. David wasn't sure because he really didn't know what Mark's friend in Atlanta had actually bought him. Suits, yes, but what else? When Richard realized that David had not unpacked any of his clothes, plans were changed on the spot and Richard decided to help David view the new clothes and put them in the closet or drawers.
Richard was amazed at the amount of clothes in the three large suitcases. He was even more awestruck by the expensive labels. Randy was a multimillionaire and had spared no expense when buying David's new wardrobe. Richard figured that there must be thousands of dollars of designer duds which had never been worn by David. Richard couldn't understand why anyone would buy such expensive items for an almost total stranger? What had David done to be lavished with such male luxury? Everything was unpacked and put away in less than an hour.
"Now are you ready for some light exercise?" Richard asked.
"I thought we just did it. Unpacking nearly wore me out!" David replied with a rueful glance.
"It's almost four o'clock," Richard said. "Do you ever watch the 'Ellen Show'?"
"Ellen DeGeneres?"
"Uh huh."
"I've never seen it. I didn't have a TV in my dorm room."
"Why don't we sit for an hour and watch it? I think you'll like it."
"I DO like her on the HBO specials."
"I think you'll like her show just as much. Two years in a row, she's won an Emmy for the best talk show."
"She...she's gay, isn't she?" David asked, very unassumingly.
"Yes...she's living proof that the TV academy voters are becoming more liberal. Maybe it's just their way to spite George Bush!"
David laughed. Richard took the TV remote and tuned in channel six, just as Ellen was being introduced. Her guests for the day were Rupert Everett, an eighty-six year old grandmother from San Diego, who had just learned how to skateboard, and Melissa Etheridge who was going to sing a number from her newest CD.
Richard steadied David's gait and settled him down on the sofa in the living room. Richard took a seat on the opposite end of the same sofa.
"Wanna Coke or some fruit?" Richard asked.
"No, thanks, I'm fine."
Ellen began her routine comedy monologue, this one about telemarketers! It was typically hilarious and Richard was quite pleased to see David laughing out loud at some of Ellen's jokes. Ellen followed her opening set with the usual dance through her audience, stopping for a commercial. She said that when the show returned, Rupert Everett would be sitting in the chair opposite her.
Four minutes of commercials came on the TV and David asked, "Rupert Everett? Isn't he that British actor who openly admitted to being gay?"
"The very one..."
"Do you think he did the right thing? I mean, didn't he run a risk of ruining his acting career?"
"Rupert is one of those rare cases; everyone who hired him to do a picture knew about him years ago. It was just that the public didn't know about it. Even before he came out, as handsome as he is, he seldom 'got the girl' at the end of the movie."
"I remember taking my girlfriend Jenny to see a film where he DID get the girl. It was a 'chick flick' called 'An Ideal Husband'."
"That was an exception. Rupert was chasing boys in movies all the way back when he was a teen in 'Another Country'."
"I didn't see that one. I probably wouldn't even have seen 'An Ideal Husband' if Jenny hadn't insisted."
"Maybe Rupert's openness DID hurt him somewhat. I can think of a dozen Hollywood movie stars who are much bigger queers than Rupert, but they just keep denying it so that they can collect five to twenty million dollars per picture! What's YOUR opinion? Do you think he should have 'come out' the way he did?"
"I suppose I admire him for his openness and his honesty. I hate to see anyone living in a lie and trapped by it."
"Oh?"
"I...I suppose Jerry or someone at the hospital told you that I came out to my parents a couple of weeks ago?"
"No, I hadn't heard that..." Richard responded, relieved to hear the truth. Now he could set his mind at ease from wondering.
"I suppose that was the WRONG thing for me to do..."
"Why, David?"
"For one thing, my dad won't talk to me."
"Shit happens!"
"Pardon?"
"I'm just saying that that happens to a lot of guys when they tell their parents."
"Can I ask you a personal question?"
"Sure..."
"If you'd known I was gay, would you still have taken this position to help me?"
"The kind of work I do...I can't put the details on my resume, David. I've worked with clients with all kinds of infectious diseases. I had a job once where the guy had diabetes and the circulation was so bad in his limbs, he got gangrene and his foot actually dropped his leg and onto the floor. I've worked with amputees...guys who returned home from Bush's war...so 'out of it' that I had to watch them constantly to see that they didn't commit suicide. In spite of what people think of me, I'm very dedicated to my clients and the way I decide on accepting an assignment is whether or not I think I can help the ones I work for. So I hope it doesn't offend you when I say, your being gay is the least of my concerns."
"Wow! I suppose my situation seems trite compared to your other clients' problems."
"Your physical wounds will heal. I have no doubt about that. The day we talked during our 'interview', I could see that your troubles which I have to attend to are emotional and...well, mental."
"You think I'm crazy because I'm gay?"
"No. You missed my point! It wouldn't matter to me if you were a transvestite, a cross-dresser, or a potential transsexual. That's of little importance...unless that was the main cause of what's bothering you."
"Then I won't become overbold and ask you if you're gay. It's none of my business."
"Only if I thought you were making a pass at me...which I presume you're not!"
"Uh..no..I..couldn't...you see, I lost my first and only male lover in the accident..."
"I won't lie...I DID know about Luke."
"Then you can understand, I'm not ready for another relationship. Hell, I was gay less than two weeks. I was just discovering what it was like."
"Would you like to talk about it now? I can turn off the TV...?"
"No, I would like to see what Rupert Everett is like OFF camera."
"The commercials are ending. You're about to get to see what he's like."
Rupert Everett was introduced and came from behind the stage, smiling broadly at the audience, walked toward Ellen and kissed her. David found her interview with him informative and humorous. There was nothing fey about Rupert in David's eyes. Rupert was a very articulate, extremely handsome gentleman and David was very impressed by what he saw.
Richard, on the other hand, was thinking about David. David admitted he was gay. Richard had to decide now whether to pursue the beginning of a relationship or to keep everything on a very business-like basis. Richard still wanted to knew how Jerry fit into the picture with David. Jerry appeared to be straight...but then, so did David. Well, this was only Richard's first day on the job. He LOVED the money he was being paid and would like to have the steady income continue for as long as possible. However, if, along the way in the oncoming weeks, a romantic relationship should bud between any of the two out of the three of them, he'd deal with that when and if it should occur.
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On his dinner break, Jerry decided to call Addison Hall at the University of Virginia, the female dorms which housed Jenny Fairbanks. It was 7:30 PM. Jenny had finished eating and was getting ready to take a shower before settling in her room for an all night study session. She had two exams scheduled the next day, one in French and the other in Adolescent Psychology. She answered the phone, thinking it was probably her mother who usually called this time of evening.
"Hello?"
"Jenny?"
"Yes?"
"I don't know if you'll remember me, but my name is Jerry Collins. I used to go to high school in River Oaks with Mark Stanley. I saw you a couple of times with David..."
"Oh, yes, I DO remember you. You were the blonde kid who had the ring pierced through your eyebrow."
Jerry laughed. "It seems that my pierced eyebrow left an impression on most of the people I met."
"Do you still have it?"
"Oh, no. I...I'm a policeman now and I don't think my captain would approve of any piercings which could be seen..."
"Oh, you have others that can't be seen?", she kidded. Her voice was melodic to Jerry.
"No." Jerry laughed again. "Just the one...and I had to get rid of it before I could enter the police academy."
"I remember I used to wonder if it hurt. I would have been scared to death that if I reached down to pick up something I'd dropped, I'd catch the ring on something and pull out my eye...well, my eyebrow at least."
"That's what my mom used to say. I...I always had to remove it whenever my dad was around."
"I'm afraid MOST dads in River Oaks wouldn't've approved of body piercing anywhere!"
"I suppose you're wondering why I called..."
"Well, yes, actually."
"I...I guess you heard about David's auto accident...?"
"Yes, my mother told me all about it...also about Luke. I...I was very sorry to hear about it."
"You know David was in the UVA hospital for nearly two weeks."
"Yes, I did hear something about it..." Jenny replied, a bit cold.
"Did...did you get a chance to go visit him?"
"I...I HAD the chance, but under the circumstances, I just couldn't seem to...to WANT to!"
"I can understand. I...I heard that David broke off your engagement to him."
"Yes, he did."
"Well, I...well, I called for a couple of reasons...first, David had no place to go. He wasn't exactly welcome at his dad's house."
"I can appreciate that! He wouldn't be welcome at my house either."
"I...I'm sorry about whatever happened between the two of you, but I wanted you to know that...well, David is staying at my house in River Oaks. I mean, if you ever get the urge to see him...?"
"I don't think I'll EVER get the urge to see him again."
"But if you do, well, I wanted you to know where he is."
"I'm glad that someone had pity on him...enough to give him some place to go. I suppose you and David have more in common than David and I did..."
"Oh, no! If you're wondering if David and I...well...THINK alike, you're wrong."
"I guess that's your way of telling me that you're not gay?"
"Well, so to speak...I'm NOT gay."
"Aren't you worried about your reputation, I mean... having a homosexual living with you?"
"No...I made my sexual preference clear to David before I asked him to move in with me. I...I didn't want him to get the wrong idea."
"That was very brave of you."
"Jenny...I said that I called for a couple of reasons."
"Yes, you did."
"I...I...well, I...heck! I don't know how to phrase this. Due to my job and the odd hours I work, my...my social life is practically ground zero...and I was wondering if it was possible if you would go out with me sometime...you know, when you're home in River Oaks visiting your folks?"
"You're asking me out on a date?"
"I...yeah, I guess I am..."
"Aren't you a couple or three years younger than I?"
"I suppose. I mean Mark, Luke, and I were all in the same grade at R. O. High...but I was hoping that wouldn't matter. I mean, I...I don't look like a kid any more. I've matured and filled out a lot from my classes at the academy. I...I would hope I didn't look so young as to embarrass you."
"Jerry, can I ask you something straight out?"
"Absolutely."
"Does David know you're asking me out or is this some kind of trick he's put you up to?"
"NO! Definitely not! As a matter of fact, I don't want David to know that I even called you...and if we DO go out, it'll remain a secret from him."
"I really want to believe you, Jerry, but you can understand why I would be suspicious!"
"Of course. It took me days to muster up the courage to call you, let alone, ask you out."
"Jerry, I'm planning on coming home this weekend. I won't say, 'yes' to dating you, but if you want to drop by at my parents' house and chat for a bit...you know, let me get to see you and get a chance to know you a little better?"
"I...I think that's a pretty good idea. I...I usually work on Saturday and Sunday nights, but I can always switch off with one of my fellow officers."
"What about David? Is he well enough for you to leave him alone?"
"Oh, he's not alone. He has someone to stay with him while I'm at work."
"One of his 'GAY' friends?"
"Oh, no. This guy is a professional rehab expert. He was recommended by the social worker at the hospital...and he's paid for the time he spends with David."
"How on earth is David able to afford that? I mean, I know he has no money and I'm certain his dad is not paying for someone to be with him."
Jerry lied. "I...I'm not sure of all the details, but I think Luke's insurance company is paying for David's rehabilitation."
"I was almost afraid you were going to say that YOU were paying for it."
"Ha! You apparently don't know how little policemen make."
"All right, if you can assure me that David has no part in your coming to see me...or asking me out...then I'll make my decision after we've met and talked."
"Which would be better for you...Saturday or Sunday night?"
"Saturday night, of course. I usually return to the university on Sunday night. I DO have Friday and Saturday nights free. That's the only time David and I could..." Jenny stopped. "I...I'd rather not talk about David, if you don't mind. I hope his name won't come up during our time together."
"If that's the way you want it, that'll be fine with me. I...I hope you'll tell your parents not to mention that I came over. I...I don't want David to know just yet."
"If you're telling me the truth, why don't you come by, say, seven o'clock Saturday evening?"
"Hey, that's great! I'll look forward to it."
"Remember, Jerry, it's not a date...just a chat. We can talk about a 'real' date if I'm convinced you're on the up and up."
"I am...I promise."
"All right, then."
"Thanks, Jenny."
"You're quite welcome..."
"Well, good night."
"Good night, Jerry." Jerry was all but leaping with joy as he hung up. He finally had a 'date' with the girl of his dreams. He couldn't tell anyone...especially David...but then, who else was there to tell?
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For dinner, Richard prepared a meal for David consisting of broiled salmon, parboiled broccoli with a butter sauce, and steamed brown rice, followed by a fruit compote. The food was delicious but David had very little appetite and played with the items on his plate while eating less than half of the meal.
"Are you not hungry or perhaps you didn't like my cooking?" Richard asked.
"No, no...everything is fine...I'm just not hungry."
"Sometimes depression can hinder the craving for food."
"I thought that's what those pills were for...to keep me from getting depressed," David replied.
"Most psychotropic medications take about three weeks before they reach their maximum effect."
"You mean there's no such thing as an instant happy pill?"
"Probably, but most of them are illegal...and habit forming!"
"You mean like pot?"
"Well, that's one example."
"You know I've never smoked a joint in my life!"
"Believe me, David, you haven't missed very much."
"Up until a couple of weeks ago, there were many things I'd never tried." After a moment of silence, he continued, "Mark and I were brought up very strictly and it was practically a sin to even discuss things like drugs, drink, or sex around my parents. I guess Mark wised up to the ways of the world after he left home. I left home, too, to go to college, but my dad's way of thinking was hammered too deeply into my psyche for me to go against his wishes...even though I was miles away from him."
"Do you mind if I ask a few personal questions? You know, just to get to know you a bit better?"
"Go ahead. I'm my own person now. I no longer have to answer to my dad...about anything."
"Your fiancee, Jenny...?"
"What about her?"
"Did you ever, well, did the two of you ever..."
"Have sex?"
"Well, yes."
"If you could call it sex, then, yes, we went through the motions of having sex."
"But she did let you...?"
"Yes, but only if I wore double condoms. I knew after the first time, she wasn't enjoying it. She had been taught by her mother, as I'd been taught by my dad, that sex was strictly for procreation, not recreation. I think Jenny allowed me to do it because she realized that after we married she would have kids and so she just sort of went along with it. I always felt I was hurting her or by the expression on her face, that she was bored or even embarrassed. You know, I don't think she EVER saw my penis once! She always looked away or turned her head before I entered her. Even then, I knew she wanted me to hurry up and finish and a couple of times, after looking into her eyes, I lost my erection and faked an orgasm. I've read that it's women who fake orgasms, but I had to fake mine for Jenny." David suddenly heard what he was telling to this person, almost a total stranger. 'How can I be spilling my guts like this?', he asked himself, even while he had to admit that it might help him understand his life during the past weeks and how he'd changed.
"I suppose it was different with Luke?"
At the mention of Luke's name, a thousand pictures flashed through David's mind---pictures of Luke in a hundred different activities, but all of them devoted to making David happy. "Oh, my God, Richard! It was the most wonderful feeling of my life!" Having started talking about Luke seemed to unlock a flood of memories. "I mean, the first time he...he performed oral sex on me, it was like having my very first orgasm when I learned to masturbate. After I climaxed, the only thing I could think of was...I wanted him to feel what I had just felt. It was almost as exciting going down on him as it was when he was doing it to me. I wanted to pleasure him...and I didn't want to stop. Even after he came, I...I just couldn't quit. I wanted him to go again and again!" David realized that the catharsis of talking about Luke was easing some of his inner pain.
"Did you...uh...have anal sex with Luke?"
"I didn't have anal sex with him. I made love to him! It was like I was finally losing my virginity! Doing it with Sandy or Jenny was NOTHING compared to Luke. It was like..it was like I had driven a go-cart all my life and suddenly I found myself behind the steering wheel of a Porsche...fully loaded with all the extras!"
"David, did you ever stop to think that you might not be gay, just that Luke was a 'willing' partner compared to Sandy and Jenny? I mean, suppose there was a woman who desired sex as much as you...one who was eager to do the same things you wanted...would that have been the same? I mean could a woman such as that have pleased you as much as Luke?"
"The idea DID occur to me, but I soon dismissed it when...as I said, it wasn't just sex with Luke...I wanted to make love to him...and I never lost the thought that he was a man...NOT a woman. That's when I came to the resolution I was gay...just as Mark was."
"Do you think...in the future, when you're ready, do you think you'll desire to be with another male and not a female?"
"I...right now, I can't think past Luke. We had pledged our love to one another and had intended on spending the rest of..." That's as far as David could speak before he broke into tears. "Oh GOD! RICHARD! What the fuck am I going to do without him?"
"David, the first thing you have to do is mourn. Go ahead! CRY! GRIEVE! MOURN! Don't hold it inside. I'm sure you know the five stages of grief...denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance."
"Psych 101! Yeah, I had that on a pop quiz," he said through his tears.
"In your situation, you can't deny that Luke is gone. You know that and you're too sensible to think otherwise. 'Anger'? Sure, I know you're angry. You had your whole life planned out with Luke. You were going to move to New York, both of you were going to Columbia...and in a quick New York minute, that was taken away...ALL of it! So you do have a right to be angry. `Bargaining'? Well, that's out of the picture. You can't bargain with God or any higher power about...if you let Luke live, I promise I will...do NOTHING! 'Bargaining' is out of the question. 'Depression'? That's what you're in the middle of, right now! Sure, you're depressed and you have every reason to be! And even though it's hard to admit it, Luke is gone, but you're NOT! You're still here and have to find an alternative in your future. I understand you weren't planning to enter Columbia until January. That's still over three months away. You might STILL decide to go there, but it's too soon to make plans that far ahead. Part of my job is to find some way to get you to stage five...'acceptance'. I'll stay with you as long as it takes or until you no longer want me around, but that's my goal. Once we get to the 'acceptance' level, I'm sure you'll have your future plans made. I don't expect you to do it overnight...or in a week or even a month, but I want you to know, that's why I'm here and I want you to talk about Luke as often as you like. If you miss him...MISS HIM and CRY! Cry it out! Hit the wall! Punch a pillow...hell, punch me, if you feel like it! I'm strong and tough and I can take any punch you want to throw at me and I promise not to hit back!"
In a brief silence, David looked at Richard long and hard before asking, "Why are you doing this?"
"It's what I'm being paid to do...but more importantly, I like you, David, and I'd like one day to see you the way you were before the accident. That's the 'David' I'd like to get to know."
"It might be a long time coming, Richard, if ever."
"Then let it be a long time. Once you're better, I'll go on to my next client...and I'll be with him or her as long as that takes."
"Luke's lawyer is paying you out of Luke's money?"
"If you must know...yes."
"A lot, I imagine."
"Enough."
"I suppose you'll earn every dime of it if you're gonna be around me for a long time."
"Oh, it might not take such a long time...you never know."
"We'll see."
"Look, what would you like to do after I clear the table? I made enough food so that Jerry will have plenty to eat when he gets home."
"He'll probably enjoy your meal more than I did. I'm sorry I didn't eat more."
Richard began picking up the dinner plates, scraping off the remaining food, then he placed them in a sink filled with hot sudsy water.
"You...uh, want to watch television, a DVD, read a book, play cards, what?"
"I think I've done all the talking I want to do for one evening." He finished to himself, "I've probably talked too much."
"So, it's your choice. I forgot the Internet. Wanna surf for a while? Look at some dirty pictures or read a filthy story?"
David smiled briefly. "I don't think I'm quite ready for that. Actually I...I've never done that either."
"Damn, David! What did you do for recreation?"
"Not much! I was always studying for my next class at the university. Before I went to Atlanta, I spent a lot of time in the library reading about what makes a guy gay. I was trying to learn more about Mark's lifestyle, but even that was too late. I found out he was dead before I got the chance to talk with him about it."
"You know, I think what you need most is a big hug! I don't mean in a romantic way...just a friendly embrace."
"Y'know, I think I would like that."
Richard walked slowly toward David and put his arms around him and squeezed him gently. David was rigid at first, then he sighed, relaxed a bit, and quietly cried on Richard's shoulder. Time seemed to stop. Neither of them knew how long the embrace lasted, but neither of them cared. 'Hug Therapy' was now recommended by the AMA and had been written about in many medical journals. At this moment, it was just the right thing to do. Finally, David's crying subsided to a mere whimper and Richard asked quietly, "Feel better?"
"Yes...yes, I do...thanks."
"Anytime you feel you need another hug, let me know."
"I will, I promise."
"Would it be okay if we watched TV for while...Monday night...What do you think about Josh Duhamel?"?"
"Who?"
"A six-foot-four brown-headed hunk on 'Las Vegas'! You're gonna love him. He might not do for you what he does for me, but I can easily get out of a depressed mood looking at him for an hour."
"He turns you on?"
"In a big way!" Richard replied.
"Is that your way of telling me that you're gay?"
"I'll let you find out for yourself. Just don't look at the bulge in my trousers when he comes on screen."
"Were you keeping your sexual preference from me on purpose?"
"Actually, I'm not supposed to say anything about any of my preferences to my clients."
"I know you hate George Bush!"
"Who in their right mind wouldn't? Come on, it's almost nine o'clock. Let's not miss the premise or it will take us half an hour to figure out who murdered whom in the plot!"
"You want to share the couch with me?"
"Only if you'll keep your hands off me and keep your eyes off my crotch when I see Josh."
David almost laughed. "Is that 'bargaining'...step three?"
"No, it's YOU who drives a hard bargain. Just don't say anything and watch the TV screen! 'CSI-Miami' comes on next, then the late news and by that time Jerry should be home!"
"I'm glad you're here, Richard."
"So am I, David."
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When Jerry came home from work at 11:PM, he walked into the living room and was somewhat surprised to see David and Richard on the couch together. David was asleep with his head on Richard's shoulder while Richard's arm was around David in a cradling position. The look in Jerry's eyes held an unmistakable question.
"He...dropped off to sleep during the news," Richard explained in a whisper.
"Has he been all right all evening?" Jerry asked, his quiet voice echoing Richard's volume.
"Yes, I gave him his pills around ten o'clock. We've been watching TV all evening ever since we finished dinner."
"I guess it's time for you to leave," Jerry said. "You mustn't get in the habit of working overtime."
"I think I should help get him into bed."
"No, I've been doing that every night until you started working today. I can manage."
"If you're sure...?"
"I'm positive, so why don't you head for home?"
"All right. Oh, by the way, I saved supper for you. It's in the oven."
"Thanks...but that's another habit you shouldn't start. I can fix my own meals."
Richard sensed a resentment in Jerry's replies, even though they were whispered. 'Could it be that Jerry is jealous, seeing me with my arm around David? I thought Jerry was as straight as an interstate highway. Does he feel some kind of male attachment for David?' These thoughts crowded Richard's mind as he carefully removed his arm from behind David's head and placed it on the back of the sofa.
David was sound asleep as a result of the medication and heard nothing of the conversation between Jerry and Richard.
"All right, then, I'll go," Richard said. "I'll see you tomorrow just before three."
"That's fine. Thanks for all you did today...and please drive carefully on your way home."
Richard got his jacket from the hall closet and left quietly, his mind already racing with his own thoughts and questions. Jerry sat down on the sofa next to David and tried to awaken him gently, so as not to startle him out of a deep sleep.
"Hey, big guy, it's time to put you in bed," Jerry said.
Jerry halfway opened his eyes and managed a, "Huh?".
"Beddy-bye time, big boy."
"Huh...oh, Jerry...what time is it?"
"Around eleven-thirty."
"Where's...where's Richard?"
"He had to leave. He works the same shift as I and he had to go home to get HIS rest."
"I...I'm sorry I didn't get to tell him good-night. I hope I didn't forget to tell him how much I enjoyed dinner."
"You can tell him that tomorrow when he arrives."
"Hmmh? Oh, that's right, he'll be back at the same time. I almost forgot."
"Do you need some help getting up? I mean, can you walk to the bedroom or do you need me to carry you."
"No, Jerry, I can manage. Remember, I have no broken bones. I just get stiff when I sit for a long period of time."
"Let me get you on your feet anyway."
Jerry placed both his arms on David's upper arms and practically lifted David to his feet. In doing so, when David stood up, his face was only a few inches away from Jerry's. For a split second, Jerry thought David was going to kiss him and for half of that split second, Jerry almost wished David had...but Jerry quickly pulled his head back before something happened which shouldn't happen. Placing one of David's arms around his own neck, Jerry put his arm around the back of David's waist to steady him in order to walk from the living room to David's bedroom.
"I CAN walk, you know," David said. "It's just those damned pills that leave me a bit unsteady on my feet."
"You'll get used to them. Do you need to make a trip to the john?"
"I COULD take a leak, I guess."
"I won't help you with that. I mean, I'll stand in the bathroom doorway to make sure you don't fall."
David drained his bladder, all the while being very aware of Jerry's presence behind him, then zipped up his trousers. After David washed his hands, Jerry went to him to guide him toward the bed.
"Do you need some help getting undressed?" Jerry asked.
"I don't think so."
"You got any pajamas in the dresser?"
"No, I usually sleep in my Jockey's. Well, I did until I started sleeping with Luke. We...we always slept in the nude."
"Do whatever makes you the most comfortable," Jerry said.
"I liked sleeping sans clothing...so if you don't want to see me naked...?"
"David, I see men naked every day in the locker room at the station. You know guys don't turn me on, so it's all right if you get naked in front of me, but I WILL stay here until I see you tucked in bed."
Slowly, but steadily, David removed his clothing piece by piece until he was standing nude along side of the bed. In the meanwhile, Jerry had turned down the comforter, bedspread, top sheet, and fluffed up the pillows.
"There, I guess I'm ready," David said, sitting down on the side of the bed. He lay back and lifted his legs and put his feet beneath the bed clothing and Jerry took the top covers and placed them snuggly next under David's neck and chin.
"How does that feel?"
"Wonderful. This mattress is like sleeping on a cloud."
"I actually laid down on it myself when I picked it out. It DOES feel like a cloud. Hey, you want me to turn on your TV and you can watch a movie or David Letterman or Jay Leno before you go to sleep?"
"That would be nice."
"I'll leave the remote on the table next to the bed. If you should fall asleep, I'll stop by and check on you after I've eaten and I can turn off the TV."
"Thanks."
"I'll leave you now. Is there anything else you want or need?"
"You mean...besides Luke?"
"Yes...besides Luke."
"Richard told me that a hug was good therapy. Would it make you uncomfortable to give me a good-night hug?"
"I...I hugged you while you were in the hospital and I didn't suddenly turn gay. I suppose one hug more's not going to do any harm."
Jerry leaned down and placed both arms around David and pulled him next to his chest and held him for a few seconds.
"God, how I miss Luke!" David said, as he stifled his speech into Jerry's shoulder.
"I know you do, David. I know how you miss him, but I'm here for you. I can't do the things Luke did for you, but I'll go as far as I can."
"I...I hugged Richard earlier this evening."
"Oh?"
"It was only briefly. It was only later that I found out Richard was gay..."
"He is? I had no idea or I would have told Maggie, the social worker about it."
"Jerry, you can't protect me from other gay guys..."
"Still, I don't want Richard or anyone to take advantage of you, especially while you're knocked out with those pills. Maybe I should warn him not to try anything or he'll have to answer to me."
"Jerry, if I weren't so convinced that you were straight, I could almost believe you're jealous."
"Well, believe me, I'm not, but I WILL set some restrictions for Richard."
"What if I make the first move on him?"
"That never occurred to me. I know you still love Luke and I don't think you're ready to enter into a new gay relationship, however innocent."
"You're right...but time can change a lot of things."
"We'll face that when it happens, not before. Now go to sleep. I want to see what kind of food Richard made you for dinner. He said he left me a plate."
"He did."
"Have I hugged you long enough?"
"Yes, I'm sorry." David lay back on the pillow. "Go heat your supper and enjoy it."
"Good night, Jerry."
"Night, David."
Jerry left feeling a bit troubled. 'Richard is gay and I'm gonna leave him alone with David every night without a chaperone? I swear if he tries anything with David, I'll arrest him!"
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(To be continued in "All My Tomorrows" chapter six.)