All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language, please exit now.
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"ALL MY TOMORROWS"
Copyright Ritchris 2005
sequel to "As I Remember Him"
A story by
Ritch Christopher
literary enhancement by
Les Martin
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CHAPTER TEN
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Their slow walk in the autumn air had been stimulating for both of them, but the chill of fall was unmistakable. Richard and David shrugged out of their outer clothes and Richard suggested that David go take a hot shower to readjust his body temperature from the outside cold while he went into the kitchen to make them each a cup of hot chocolate. Both of their minds were racing from their talk in the park. Richard suddenly wondered if he had revealed too much to David concerning Tom, not to mention his own feelings for David.
It had only been a few weeks since Luke's death. David had felt he was alone and had no one in his life, but suddenly now he was surrounded by caring people-- Richard, Tom, and even Jerry! David was still unaware that Jenny was plotting with Jerry to win David back and, once again, make him her heterosexual boyfriend. As David was getting undressed to take his shower, the phone rang. Since he was closer to the telephone in the living room, David decided to answer it.
"Hello?"
"David?"
"Yes?"
"This is Chris Curtis."
"Father Chris?---from Atlanta?"
"Yes, but I'm no longer in Atlanta."
"My God! I'm so glad to hear from you but how did you find me?"
"Well, I had almost decided to put out an Amber alert for you, but instead I called the University of Virginia only to learn you had disenrolled. Then I tried to reach Luke's home in River Oaks and found that his phone was no longer in service. So I called back to the university to speak with one of the chaplains there...Barry Fulton, with whom I had gone to seminary . Barry told me all about your auto accident and that the driver of the car had met an unfortunate accident. I could only assume that it was Luke. David, I know how heartbroken you must be. I can only offer you my prayers and condolence. I'm so sorry."
"It was a tragic loss, Chris, and, God knows, I DO miss Luke."
"I'm sure you do. I...uh...well, Barry said he thought you were recuperating in the UVA hospital so I tried to reach you there and discovered you had been discharged. Then I spoke to the hospital director of social services, a Maggie Cutler, and I told a little white lie, saying that I was your priest. The upshot was that she gave me your new address and told me how I could reach you. I was a bit surprised that you weren't staying with your parents, but I remember what you told me about your dad and his feelings about gay people."
"That was quite a scene when I broke the news to Dad and Mom about my being gay and also about Luke."
"I can imagine, David...So, Ms. Cutler told me that you're living with a policeman?"
"Yes, Jerry Collins. He was a friend of Mark's."
"It was nice of him to invite you to live with him."
"Jerry's straight, Chris, but it didn't seem to bother him when I told him I was gay."
"It's nice to learn that not all River Oaks' residents are homophobic. So how are you doing? Recovering nicely, I hope?"
"Physically, I'm almost a hundred percent, but emotionally, Chris, I'm still a wreck."
"That's only natural, David, after losing Mark and then Luke in such a short period of time."
"Chris, tell me about yourself. Where are you and what are you doing?"
"It's a long story, but I almost made a complete fool of myself by falling in love with Andy. My better judgment told me that the difference in our ages made the possibility of a lasting relationship almost impossible, so I wrote him a polite, 'Dear John' letter, packed what I wanted to keep in the back of my car, and left Atlanta for destinations unknown."
"Destination unknown? So did you find your destination?"
"Yes, in a small town called Briarwood. I drove through Briarwood and I saw a church, St. Genesius, and stopped to pray for God's guidance. I'm sure it was God's will because I met the rector, Father Cliff Cole. He's one of the most wonderful people I've ever met. He and his longtime companion, Roger, are practically world-famous. Roger has built one of the largest AIDS research centers and hospitals in the country. The two took me in as if I was a long-lost brother. A few weeks later, Cliff took me to see the bishop of the Diocese. I think Cliff and Roger twisted the Bishop's arm a bit, since the two of them are among his biggest contributors and benefactors. It involved a lot of church politics and remedial studies of the Anglican laws and liturgy, but I was able to transfer from the Roman Catholic faith to the Anglican...and, well, the bishop made me Cliff's assistant here at St. Genesius."
"That sounds wonderful, Chris. You sound very happy."
"I am, David. Not only because of my new-found position---David, I've fallen in love!"
"My God! So soon?"
"You'd like him, David, because you have so much in common with him. He was straight when I first met him."
"How in the world did you get him to change his sexual identity?"
"I didn't, David. I believe it was God's will. He's a doctor, the chief administrator of Roger's institute."
"So you married a doctor! Wouldn't your mother be proud!" David joked.
"I love him, David, and he loves me."
"No wonder you sound so happy!"
"I realize it's too soon after losing Luke, but what next in your life? What are your plans?"
"Luke and I were going to move to New York and enter Columbia University, but that's no longer part of my plan since I no longer have Luke."
"What are you doing for money, if you don't mind my asking?"
"Luke's lawyer, George Hemphill, has paid all my hospital bills and has been supporting me. He even hired a private rehab-therapist to stay with me while Jerry's at work."
"Are you going to receive any kind of financial settlement from the accident?"
"I don't know. Jerry told me that Luke left no will and the lawyer is scared out of his mind that I'm going to sue Luke's estate."
"Why don't you? You know Luke would have wanted you to have his money."
"I...I don't know, Chris. I mean, Luke and I were a couple and he promised to take care of me, but...."
"Have you thought about legal representation?"
"No, Chris. I still haven't decided if that's the right thing to do."
"Look, David, one of Cliff and Roger's best friends is one of the finest lawyers in the country. His name is Walter Clayton. He lives right here in Briarwood and, if you like, I can have Walter give you a call. Walter is gay, with two gay sons, so I know he'd be very sympathetic to your cause. Walter is like family. He's become a good friend of mine as well."
"I just don't know, Chris."
"Just talk to Walter, David, will you? What harm can it do?"
"None, I suppose."
"Then would it be all right if I give Walter your telephone number in River Oaks?"
"I guess I don't see anything wrong with just talking to him, so OK, go ahead."
"I think that's a positive step, David. You'll like Walter. I'd like you to get well enough to come to a service at St. Genesius and meet my Dr. Ed."
"I'd love to, Chris...and I would like to see you again, too."
"Let me give you my home phone number and my number at the church. I want you to call me as often as you like. You DID know that I had, well, rather strong feelings toward you the week you were in Atlanta."
"I suspected as much, but that was before Luke came down there to join me and to change my life."
"In a way, I wish I had been the one who'd changed your way of life. You're a wonderful guy, David...someone who is easy to love. Luke must have sensed it immediately, but only he knew how to bring you out. That must have been part of the Almighty's plan."
"So why did the Almighty take him away from me so quickly?"
"I won't bore you with the adage, 'God moves in mysterious ways', but we don't know why Luke was killed and you weren't. He must have something, or someone else, coming into your life."
"In a sense, that's almost amusing. In my grief, I seemed to be surrounded with romantic offers."
"Oh?"
"Yes---currently there are two and a half on my list."
"SEE? I told you that you were easy to love. Anyone with any sense would like someone like you."
"I'll just have to wait and see."
"I'll let you go, David. I'm just so glad I found you. I only wish it was under happier circumstances, but PLEASE call me and keep in touch?"
"I will, Chris. I promise."
"And PLEASE listen to what Walter has to say. If you decide you want a settlement with Luke's estate, Walter is the one to represent you."
"Thanks, Chris."
"I love you, guy!"
"I love you, too, Chris, and thanks for calling. I MEAN that, from the bottom of my heart!"
"Goodbye, David."
"Bye, Chris...FATHER Chris."
David hung up the phone and went back to the bathroom to shower.
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Jerry came home at the usual time and found David and Richard sitting on the sofa, a cushion apart, watching the eleven o'clock news on TV. There was still a noticeable tension between Jerry and the other two. Jerry spoke to David, but didn't even acknowledge Richard's presence. In response, Richard chose to ignore Jerry as well. He merely got up from the couch to get his jacket to leave, but on the way to the door, Richard walked over to the back of the sofa and patted David on the shoulder. "See you tomorrow, big guy. Tonight before you go to bed, don't forget to do ten of those 'sit-up' exercises I showed you. You know, you're coming along nicely."
"Thanks, Richard," David replied. "I'm really glad you decided to keep working with me. I don't know what I'd have done without you."
"Oh, I'm sure you'd have done nicely."
"And thanks for the walk in the park...and the talk."
"Sure."
The last remark picked up Jerry's ears. "You two went outside for a walk in the park?" Jerry asked.
"Yes, 'Mother'," David said, almost snidely. "I bundled up in my long johns, wore a sweater and a jacket, wrapped a muffler around my neck, and put on my wooly mittens."
"Hey, all I did was ask," Jerry said. "I...I was just surprised to hear you went outside the house. Was this the first time?"
"If you're keeping a journal on my condition, yes, you can mark it down as my first outing," David answered.
"I guess I'd better go, David" Richard said. "Good night."
"Good night, Richard. Maybe tomorrow we can go skateboarding or roller-skating since you can't find two horses for us to ride. I was really looking forward to playing polo in the park, but I guess that'll have to wait until next week." His forced enthusiasm was directed, obviously, toward Jerry.
Richard smiled and gave Jerry a look to observe his reaction to David's sarcasm and then left.
"Is there any dinner left?" Jerry asked, after Richard was gone.
"No, I'm afraid the chateaubriand that Richard made was only enough for two."
"Jesus! He cooked you chateaubriand?"
"We had it after the Oysters Rockefeller appetizers. The dessert was delicious by the way. Richard cooked Bananas Foster."
"Are you shitting me?" Jerry asked, halfway angry.
"I DID put a can of tuna in the refrigerator for you in case you were hungry when you got home from work."
"How nice of you...thanks!"
"You're welcome," David replied, still not looking at Jerry as he focused his complete attention to the weather and sports on TV. "Well, it looks as if the Rangers lost again. So I guess I'll go to bed and read. Richard brought me a couple of magazines, 'Field and Stream', and 'American Rifleman'. You can look at them when I'm finished."
"All right, David, I get the message. This is a bunch of bullshit you're handing me. What do I have to do to get things back the way they were between us? Kiss Richard's ass? Suck his dick?"
"What if I said, 'yes' to both of your propositions?"
"You know damned well I'd never do either."
"Then what concessions ARE you willing to make?"
"Name something within reason!"
"When I moved in here, you were not at all homophobic. But last night when you caught Richard and me in bed, you reminded me so much of my father, I suddenly got a glimpse of how Mark must've felt when my dad caught him in bed with Luke. I would like to know what made you change."
"I don't know. I've been asking myself that question all last night, all day, and all night during my shift. I...I even talked to my new partner about it."
"Oh? Why him?"
"You might as well know. My new partner, Ty, is gay."
"God, you seemed to be surrounded by homosexuality twenty-four-seven. No wonder your psyche is in such turmoil."
"David, you know this is all new to me. I've told you that you're the first gay person I've ever had a close experience with...and now I have to work with a gay partner."
"Do you find him attractive?"
"He's nice-looking, but I'm not about to have sex with him even though he offered."
"HE WHAT?"
"He...he offered to have sex with me so that I'd get a better idea of what gay sex is all about."
"You're THAT curious?"
"Hey, I'm just trying to find out why I got so angry when I found you and Richard together last night!"
"Let me tell you something I learned in Psych 101. 'Anger is just jealousy turned wrong side out...and vice-versa'."
"I've even tried to reason with myself that perhaps I WAS jealous."
"And were you?"
"I think, maybe--a little"
"Of me or of Richard?"
"You know, my partner asked me the same question."
"And your answer...?"
"I guess I was jealous of Richard being with you."
"What about your feelings for Jenny? I thought she was your dream fantasy."
"Fuck! I don't know. Maybe it was because I knew you'd had sex with her."
"Then the next question is...were you jealous because I had had sex with her or was it that she had had sex with me? Jenny was out of the picture when you walked in on me and Richard."
"Maybe it was YOU I wanted."
"Christ, you ARE fucked up, Jerry."
"Don't you think I know it?"
"So do you want to sleep with me tonight?"
"I...I don't know. I guess I'm afraid."
"Afraid of finding out the wrong things about yourself or afraid you'll like it?"
"David, let me put it bluntly...YOU have a DICK, not a pussy. I'm not, nor have I ever been turned on by another man or a man's dick."
"So?"
"I...I can't explain it. I...I just want to hold you. I know it sounds crazy as hell, but I have these feelings for you even I don't understand. I just want to take care of you...the way a man wants to take care of his wife or his girlfriend."
"If holding me is all you want, would you like to sleep with me and just hold me without any kind of sexual involvement?"
"Is that possible?"
"Jerry, I've only been having gay sex for less than a month. I'm not a sex maniac. I won't attack you if that's your chief concern. After all, you ARE a policeman and I'm no match for you physically if you feel you feel you need to defend yourself."
"Shit! Go on to bed! I'll go eat my cold tuna and think it over."
"Fine...but instead of opening the can of tuna, why don't you look in the oven? There's a plate of beef Stroganoff with wild rice and broccoli I saved for your dinner."
"Then that bit about chateaubriand and bananas Foster was...?"
"All a lie. Richard has a delicious recipe for Stroganoff. He made enough for all three of us. And it wouldn't hurt to thank him."
"Thanks. I will."
"I'm still going to bed to read...but not 'Field and Stream'. Richard brought me the new John Grisham and Tom Clancy novels from Barnes and Noble."
"Great! I WOULD like to read those when you're finished."
"Why don't you come lie down with me and start reading one while I start the other. You know, like two roommate-buddies might."
"You make me feel foolish about some of the things I said."
"You don't know about the first rule of relationships?"
"What's that?"
"Never go to bed mad."
Jerry smiled. "Thanks, David. I'll remember that one and put it to good use."
"Now go heat your dinner in the microwave. Enjoy it and remember I'll be waiting in bed for you. You want the Grisham or the Clancy?"
"Grisham, please. I love mysteries and courtroom dramas!"
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Father Chris had wasted no time in calling Walter Clayton, the leading attorney in Briarwood. Chris was assistant to the rector at St. Genesius Church and Jeff Clayton, Walter's youngest son, was acting as Chris' assistant, which made Chris and Walter's relationship almost like family or at least more than just good friends. Chris explained all he knew about David's situation in River Oaks, Virginia. He told Walter about Mark's death in Atlanta and about David meeting Luke there...how David and Luke fell in love and about the tragic accident that occurred only a week after David and Luke became a couple.
"My God," Walter said, "that young man has been through Hell when he should be enjoying bliss with his new lover."
"He's a wonderful guy, Walter. His brother died of Hep C and he wasn't even nineteen years old. I used to take meals to him every night. David and Mark's father is a staunch conservative and from what I learned from David and talking with the social worker at the hospital where David was taken after the wreck, David's father cut off his tuition and all but disowned David, as he had Mark, when learning that David AND Mark were both gay."
"Jesus!"
"So David is on his own. He has his senior year of college to finish. From what I gather, Luke, was financially set for the rest of his and David's lives. They were going to move to New York and enter Columbia together. Now that Luke is dead, he left no will and there's no one to leave his estate to. Luke's lawyer, George Hemphill, was Luke's financial advisor and I suppose he's assumed the duties of executor of Luke's estate. George paid for Luke's hospital bill and is supporting him financially, including an 'at home' rehab-therapist during David's recuperation."
"George Hemphill?...in River Oaks?"
"Yes. Do you know him?"
"I've known George for years. We both served on several committees set up by the American Bar Association. I would think if George is paying for David's care, he must be a bit concerned about David suing Luke's estate."
"David said he wouldn't feel right suing Luke."
"How large an estate do you think Luke had, Chris?"
"His aunt left it to him. I think it was way up in the millions."
"And there's no named heir?"
"From what Luke said to me in Atlanta, he has a father who wanted nothing to do with him after he learned Luke was gay. He even cut Luke out of his will and said he would leave his money to charity."
"Then don't you suppose that Luke would have liked David to inherit his estate or at least a large part of it?"
"That's what I was thinking, Walter. That's the main reason I called. I wanted to see if you'd represent David in getting a settlement for his injuries and accident."
"Chris, if David is a friend of yours, of course I will. I'll call George tomorrow and feel him out and try to find out if he's fearful of a lawsuit from David. Then I'll put a squeeze on George and see just how much he thinks David should be awarded. Since there's no will and George is in charge of Luke's money, this whole thing could be settled without going to court, as long as David's father or no other relative makes a claim. Regardless of that, David SHOULD be awarded something."
"I told David I'd give you his telephone number and I'd suggest that you call him to get ALL the information concerning the accident."
"Should I call David first or do you want me to call George?"
"You're the legal expert. But in my opinion, David would probably tell you he didn't want any of Luke's money...BUT if you call George first and get an offer of a settlement, then it might help change David's mind."
"Chris, let me think this through. I promise to call both David and George in the morning when I've decided in which order I should make the calls. Then I'll get back to you and let you know what happened."
"Thanks, Walter. You know when I arrived at Briarwood, I had practically no friends or family, but with you, Cliff, Walter, Jeff, and all the other Briarwood Boys, I'm surrounded by more love than I've ever known."
"Speaking of love, how are you and Dr. Ed doing?"
"You just said it...speaking of love..."
"I'm glad, Chris, for you and Ed both! You need each other and by the grace of God, you found one another!"
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Jerry tried to finish his dinner--God knows, Richard was a great cook,, but Jerry's stomach was tied up in knots. Spending the night next to David? He trusted David, and if David said there would be no sex, then there wouldn't be, he knew. Still Jerry was filled with confusion. What would he feel, lying next to a man...a gay man, at that! Even though Jerry knew there would be no closeness ,no romanticizing, he thought he should shower and clean up a bit, just for the hell of it, he told himself. He'd worked his shift and probably had sweated enough to produce some body odor. And no doubt his feet smelled from wearing those tight leather shoes all day. At the same time, Jerry didn't want to give David the impression that he was taking a shower just to prepare himself for sleeping in the same bed with David, because David surely knew that Jerry routinely bathed and shaved an hour before going to work every day.
Jerry walked into his own bedroom and then into the bathroom which connected his and David's rooms, closed both his AND David's door and turned on the shower without saying a word to David, who was lying in bed, who had already having read the first three chapters of the new Tom Clancy. Jerry finally assumed an 'ah, the hell with it' attitude by showering, washing his hair, which he followed with a scalp conditioner. He shaved then and afterwards applied a 'Wild Horses' after-shave balm, applied some fresh deodorant and was suddenly faced with a huge decision---what to wear to bed? Pajamas? briefs? boxers? a jock strap UNDER his boxers? Jerry suddenly realized he was as nervous as a virgin bride on her wedding night...BUT WHY? He wasn't going to have sex with David. They were simply going to lie side by side and read until they both became tired enough to go to sleep...and THAT WAS THAT!
Finally, he reached a decision about his bedroom attire. He put on a pair of white Hanes briefs UNDER his pajamas before entering David's bedroom.
"What took you so long?" David asked. "I thought you might have changed your mind or cooked a different meal than the one Richard and I left for you."
"Oh, no, the food was great! I have to hand it to Richard. He IS a good cook."
"He's a good friend, once you get to know him."
"I...I guess I'll NEVER get to know him as well as you do. Ah, I mean..."
"I KNOW what you mean, so you don't have to say it."
"Would you like some water or something to drink before I get into bed?"
"No, thanks. I'm fine."
"Did you take all your medicines?"
"Yep!"
"How's the Clancy book?"
"Like all his novels, you meet about a hundred characters in the first third and they all fit together like pieces of a big puzzle the more you get into the plot. I put the Grisham on your pillow."
"Yeah, I see it."
"Well, are you waiting for me to invite you to hop in bed and start reading?"
"No, I...I think I'd better go check to see if I locked the front and back doors."
"Jerry, you ALWAYS lock them. Are you nervous? Is that why you're hesitating about getting into bed?"
"Heck, no!" Jerry lied. "I...well, no, I'm NOT nervous."
Jerry walked around to the other side of the bed and pulled back the covers. He all but froze when he caught a glimpse of the side of David's naked thigh. David had no clothes on at all while Jerry had all the buttons on his pajamas, secured top to bottom. In his mind, Jerry thanked God that George had bought a queen-sized mattress for David. That would give them at least two feet of separation. Jerry got into bed, picked up the Grisham, opened the book and began to read...'Part One, chapter one, page three.' Grisham's narrative style quickly captivated him and time slipped away.
Each found himself totally absorbed in his new book and read quietly for thirty minutes. Both were sitting up in bed, propped up by their pillows. David was on chapter twelve while Jerry had managed to read only three chapters of his novel. Finally, it was Jerry who broke the silence of the 'library' session.
"Hey, David, you DO know I was serious, you know, about wanting to ask Jenny for a date?"
"Good...and I was serious when I told you to 'go to it'. Jenny is out of my life. I hope we can remain friends, but romantically speaking, she know longer interests me."
"I...uh...have a small confession to make to you..."
"Oh?"
"I, well, sorta lied, and, in a way, deceived you Saturday night."
"Oh? How so?"
"I traded shifts with a guy at work and took Saturday night off to go visit Jenny at her house."
"Oh? Did the two of you go out to dinner or to a movie?"
"No, I'd called her earlier in the week to ask her to go out with me and she said she would see me if I came to her house for a visit, but refused to go anywhere with me."
"I experienced that when we first went out. Tell me, was she wearing clothes from the fifties and had her hair up in a pony tail?"
"How did you know?"
"That's like a time capsule that her father keeps her in. In the fifties, girls didn't have sex before marriage. They remained virgin until their wedding night. Old man Fairbanks thinks that if he keeps Jenny in a fifties' mode, she'll maintain her virginity, along with her fifties' attire."
"She didn't wear clothes like that at UVA, did she?"
"Hell, no! I could never have fucked her while she was dressed like Veronica Lodge and Betty Cooper!"
"Who?"
"You know---the two girls from the old Archie Andrews comic books! They must have been Mr. Fairbanks' icons on how to raise a daughter."
"Christ! Is he some kind of nut?"
"Well, he IS Jenny's dad. I'll let you decide for yourself IF she goes out with you."
"But didn't you think she'd change once you married her?"
"Oh, Jenny was not like Veronica or Betty when we were alone. However, I don't know if it was her dad's influence or her actual feelings, but I could tell Jenny never liked having sex. I thought it was me and maybe it was, but believe me, having sex with her was like having no sex at all. One year on my birthday, Tom, my roommate bought me one of those blow-up life-sized dolls. It had a hole in the mouth, the vagina, and the butt. He told me I would probably get more fulfillment from the doll than I ever would from Jenny."
"Curiosity? Did you ever use the doll?"
"No, I told Tom that since he didn't go out on dates, he probably needed it more than I."
"Did Tom use it?"
"I'm not sure. We called the doll Christy, and kept her inflated in the closet. One night when I came home late, Christy was in the closet but deflated flat as a pancake. I don't know whether Tom fucked it or stuck pins in it like a voodoo doll, pretending Christy was Jenny. God, he really hated Jenny!"
"I guess I'll have to find out why for myself."
"Good luck, Jerry. You're gonna need it."
"So, ah, are you tired of reading?"
"A bit."
"I was just wondering if we were still gonna...you know..."
"Fuck and suck?"
"NO. That wasn't the deal. I said I'd just like to know what it feels like to hold you."
"I'm game."
"You...you've put quite a damper on that by being in bed nude."
"If I'm as bundled up as you are, how will you know you're holding a man? I undressed on purpose."
"David, surely you don't expect me to take my clothes off, too, do you?"
"Jerry, I don't expect you to do anything you don't want to do."
"I...uh, have my briefs on under my pajamas."
"What? Couldn't you find a chastity belt?"
"Get serious! I was just thinking maybe I COULD take off my pajamas and leave my underwear on."
"That's OK as long as you don't ask me to put mine on."
"I won't."
"Want the lights on or off?"
"OFF, DEFINITELY!"
"You cut off your light while I cut off mine, then you can take off your pajamas, although you DO look kinda cute in them? Do you have a pair with bunnies on them?"
"Can it, David! This is difficult for me. Don't make it harder!"
"I'm sorry."
The two turned off the bedside lamps simultaneously. Then Jerry got out of bed, took off his pajamas, and lay back down...still two feet away from David.
"Jerry, are you gonna stay that far away? Remember, I'm the invalid who's receiving physical therapy. I think you should come to my side of the bed."
Slowly and reluctantly, Jerry scooted his body toward David's until they were only inches apart...close enough for Jerry to feel and hear the breath coming from David's nostrils.
"Is this close enough?" Jerry said, just above a whisper.
"A little closer...but I can do that," David replied.
Jerry gasped and shivered when he felt David's thighs touch his own. He was more than aware when their crotches met. David had no sign of an erection, but Jerry certainly did. Slowly, David put his arms around Jerry and let their entire bodies merge together. For the time being, Jerry kept his arms down at his sides.
"Relax, Jerry. Take a deep breath and exhale. I'm not going to attack you or hurt you. Did you bring your gun into the bedroom?"
"No, why?"
"I saw on some TV show that policemen always slept with a gun at their sides."
"That's only on TV, not in River Oaks."
"I suppose that's comforting to know," David said. "So are you going to put your arms around me as well, or am I just supposed to hold YOU?"
"Sorry, David, it's just that I seemed to have developed...an embarrassing problem."
"You mean your erection?"
"You feel it, huh?"
"I'm not paralyzed, Jerry. Of course I can feel it."
"I...uh, I don't feel yours?"
"That's because I don't have an erection."
"But you're gay! Why are you turning me on and I'm doing nothing to excite you?"
"Because I swore to you there would be no sex."
"And you can control your erections like that?"
"When I have to..."
"I feel kinda rejected. I mean, you don't find me sexy or attractive?"
"Jerry, I find you VERY sexy, very handsome, and very, very attractive!"
"I just don't understand why you don't have a hard-on."
"I can get one quickly, if you like."
"No, on second thought, that might be a bad idea. You know, I hadn't noticed, but your working out with Richard has built up your pectorals. If you don't take it the wrong way, you have a very nice chest."
"Thanks for noticing, Officer Collins."
"I didn't mean that in a sexy way. It was just an observation."
"Do you want to feel my chest, Jerry?"
"Would that be gay if I did?"
"Jerry, only you know whether your feelings are gay. I'm not clairvoyant."
Jerry reached toward David's chest and explored the left side with his fingers. He toyed with David's nipple for a few seconds until the nipple hardened.
"God, I didn't know a man's nipples would do that. I mean it's just like a woman's!"
"Don't you feel your nipples when you masturbate?"
"It never occurred to me."
"Watch!"
David reached and tickled Jerry's right nipple and said, "Feel your own!"
"DAMN! God, how could I be THAT naive about my own body?"
"Run your hands up and down my back while I do yours at the same time."
Jerry obliged and put his left hand around David to explore David's back.
"You know, I've had girls do this to me, but this is the first time I ever got goose bumps."
David reached lower until he palmed Jerry's right butt cheek. Jerry stiffened his glutes.
"Want me to try that?" Jerry asked.
"Only if you want to..."
Jerry mimicked David's actions and grabbed David's butt firmly. "If feels hard---not like the softness of a woman's butt."
"I hope not."
"What do you want to do next, David?"
"Why don't you cradle your head just below my neck and lie there quietly? You don't have to move."
Jerry manipulated his body until his forehead was close to David's lips. David began to stroke Jerry's hair and Jerry sighed and nuzzled his head closer. Jerry was completely relaxed now. His apprehension had totally subsided. David touched his lips to Jerry's forehead and kissed it the way a mother would kiss her small son.
"That was nice," Jerry whispered. They lay there silently and still until Jerry uttered, "Want to kiss me on the lips?"
"If you promise not to shoot me."
"Dammit! I'm trying to be serious and you keep cracking jokes!"
"Then, yes, I would love to kiss you."
Barely moving, David lowered his head until their lips met and David kissed him very delicately. Jerry sighed heavier and said, quietly, "Did you do this with Richard?"
"No."
"Then I'm glad."
"Why?"
"Because your kissing me is one thing I won't have to be jealous about over Richard."
"Jerry, would you like to kiss me?"
"I think so...although I'm still not sure if it's the right thing to do."
"Obey your instincts. Do whatever you wish."
"Would it be all right if I kiss you the way I kiss a girl?"
"As long as you don't bite me."
"See, there you go again, making jokes!"
"I'm sorry. I won't say another word."
Jerry placed his lips on David's more firmly and David was stunned when Jerry tried to pry David's lips apart with his tongue. David gave in and opened his lips to let Jerry's tongue enter his mouth until both tongues began dancing together. At this point, Jerry seemed to throw all caution to the wind and put both arms around David and one of his legs over David's. Jerry's erection had gotten bolder and was practically stabbing David's side. David didn't respond to Jerry's affectionate outburst as he didn't want to scare Jerry. He would let Jerry be in control and go as far as his emotions would allow.
Not more than a minute later, Jerry ejaculated all over David's side and Jerry's body stiffened from head to toe.
"OH, MY GOD!" Jerry screamed. "What the fuck happened? JESUS CHRIST! What did I just do? David, I am SO sorry!"
"It's all right, Jerry. Things like that just happen!"
"Yes, but not to me...not while I'm holding onto another man! GOD DAMN! You must think I'm GAY!"
"Jerry, if you had been holding Christy, the blow-up doll, the same thing might have happened. I just happened to be here and not Christy."
"SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! Let me go get some towels and a damp cloth to clean you up! MY GOD! WHY DID THIS HAPPEN?"
"Jerry, will you relax? This is just between you and me. No one will ever know. There's no damage done. No more than there was between Richard and me the other night. We got carried away and both of us climaxed at the same time!"
"Well, at least you climaxed with Richard. You didn't even get a hard on with me."
"It's not too late, it that's what you want."
"IT'S NOT WHAT I WANT! David, I'm NOT gay and yet...I came all over you!"
"What would Richard think if he walked in right now, the way you walked in on us? Do you think he would be as angry as you were?"
"I don't know what to think! Right now, I think I'd better get you cleaned up and go back to my own bed."
"I'll take care of myself. You go to your room if it'll make you feel better."
"Are you sure?"
"Quite."
"OK, then. Look, I'm sorry."
"Good night, Jerry."
"Huh? Oh yeah, good night, David."
Jerry hurried to the bathroom and then into his bed where he lay down, pulled up his covers, and stared at the ceiling in the dark.
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(To be continued in "All My Tomorrows" chapter eleven.)