All Grown Up

By moc.loa@rthgirwyrotS

Published on Oct 27, 1999

Gay

Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction. It contains characters who share names, descriptions, etc., with real-life people (specifically members of the groups *N SYNC and Backstreet Boys); however, this is all fantasy and in no way is to insinuate anything about those people.

Thanks to Eriker for her help and reading--as always! Very much appreciated!

Thanks also to all who send me notes! I really appreciate your encouragement! All comments are welcome--positive or negative! E-mail me at storywrightr@aol.com. Thanks.

All Grown Up 6--Other Grown Ups?

N: Hey sweetie, nice to get a call from you! What's the occasion? Nothing wrong is there?

JC: No--can't I just call my man for no reason?

N: Well, sure, but I just left home about an hour ago--and I'll be back home in another couple hours . . . so unless you want me to pick up something for you or there's an emergency, it's just unexpected.

JC: Well, if you don't want me to call. . . . You ARE alone in that car, aren't you?

N: Yes sir! All alone. Just me and my music--and now my favorite man on the phone.

JC: Good save, basketball boy.

N: Meet you on the court anytime!

JC: That's why we had it built, wasn't it?

N: You got it! But all that practice still hasn't improved your game much!

JC: Hey, watch it! I do all right!

N: Sorry--I know at your age it must be difficult.

JC: Very funny, very funny. Just for that, you're challenged! As soon as you get home!

N: Hey, this is nice getting to chat with you while I drive to the meeting. I like it. A lot better than sitting here alone.

JC: Thanks! I like it too.

N: Want to have phone sex?

JC: WHILE YOU'RE IN THE CAR DRIVING?

N: Well, I can darken the windows . . . you know the car practically drives itself.

JC: Practically! I prefer my sex in person, if you don't mind.

N: Have I ever minded having sex with you in person?

JC: Let's not go there--but for the most part, no you haven't.

N: Not a bad save yourself, music boy!

JC: I'll take that name--not a bad one.

N: You should like it! That's what you spend your life doing.

JC: Well, I spend some of the time with you!

N: And I'm very grateful for that!

JC: So, um, Nicky . . . did you talk to Brian?

N: Ahhhhhhh . . . now the truth comes out! You're curious as shit about what's going on between those two aren't you!

JC: I'm just wondering! Just wondered if you knew anything else.

N: I reported in as soon as I got that message from Brian, didn't I? I'm a good husband--and gossip!

JC: It's not gossiping! We're not telling anyone else. [lower voice] You haven't told anyone else, have you?

N: NO! And I'm not going to. And neither are you!

JC: Yes sir! I love it when you get forceful.

N: I mean it Josh! Brian left me that message and actually slipped up when he mentioned Justin. I doubt he'd be happy knowing that I told you--'cept he should know I tell you everything.

JC: You do? That's sweet.

N: Yeah I do--it would be too hard keeping a secret from you! You're too much of a snoop!

JC: That was the fastest fall from sweet to jerk I've seen in a while.

N: I'm just kidding you sweetie. But still, I think we should give Brian some room--and some privacy. He did leave me another message though.

JC: HE DID? And you haven't played it for me?

N: Calm down. I didn't know I needed to call you from the car to report in; I thought it might wait till I got home! [laughing]

JC: Sorry. But I do want to know. I'm worried about Justin.

N: Did you hear from him?

JC: I got a message back from him--and then left another message for him. I was so pissed at myself for forgetting to take the phone in the studio with me!

N: You are always in another world when you are in there. Even if you had had it, you probably wouldn't have noticed there was a call coming in.

JC: Well, whatever, but I missed his call. I left another message telling him that I was here if he wanted to talk.

N: You didn't say about WHAT did you?!

JC: NO! I'm not stupid . . . You were supposed to take that pause to agree with me.

N: I agree, I agree! You're not stupid!

JC: Thank you. No, I just said that I was here for him if he needed to talk. And that we needed to get together more. It's true too. He's been my best friend most of my life--I mean other than you; I guess maybe that's the difference now. YOU are really my best friend AND my lover. But I miss him. And I've been bad about staying in touch with him.

N: So this is about feeling guilty.

JC: No. Well, maybe a little. I'm just concerned.

N: Yeah, well, so am I. In the last message from Brian he said that he had called Justin last week. That they hadn't talked in a long time. Something about unfinished business. He said it was good and bad--the conversation. Don't know what that means.

JC: Hope it doesn't mean it was good for Brian and bad for Justin!

N: Josh, lay off. If Justin hadn't wanted to talk to him, he could have hung up.

JC: Yeah right, like Justin would do that to Brian after not talking to him for years.

N: Well, he's a grown up man--he can take responsibility for himself.

JC: Yeah, and who's going to take responsibility for Brian? YOU?

N: What's that about? What do I have to do with it? And why can't Brian be responsible for Brian?

JC: Well, he should be, but he doesn't exactly have a great track record on that front.

N: What's that mean? You're talking ancient history here. Brian has been standing on his own two feet for years now.

JC: I guess. But I still don't trust this whole thing. What's with the call?

N: Come on Josh--after all these years--after all they went through--don't you think they should be in touch? Especially with their daughter?

JC: What's she have to do with it? She's practically on her own already. She's off in New York now filming something. Nice time now for Brian to want to be part of that!

N: He's been a part of her life. He's stayed close to her.

JC: Not like Justin. Justin was the one there day in and day out--she lived with him.

N: For the past few years! Don't set up Justin as the all- sacrificing father here! He was gone during her childhood too. Jackie did most of the raising.

JC: And that gives Brian points, I suppose?

N: I didn't know we were adding up a score. . . . I'm sure Brian would be the first to say that he wasn't the kind of father he had planned to be or wanted to be. I think that's one of his greatest sorrows in life. You remember how excited he was about having a daughter. All the plans he made for her. How much he wanted her and wanted to be with her. It just didn't work out.

JC: Well that's pretty dismissive! It didn't work out because he didn't make it work out!

N: And Justin did? Just because when his career slowed down and changed enough for him to be in one place most of the time he had her come live with him? For that he gets sainted?

JC: I'm not making Justin a saint!

N: JC, darling, love of my life . . . you are so full of shit!

JC: I can't believe you just said that to me!

N: I can't believe we are having this conversation where you're acting like the only one who did anything wrong was Brian--like Justin was some perfect person. JUSTIN doesn't believe that!

JC: Justin was always hard on himself.

N: WHAT? Lord you are crazy!

JC: I am not! You just can't see your beloved Brian in a true light!

N: I'm starting to see my beloved Josh in a true light.

[long pause]

N: [quietly] Josh . . . I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean that. You are my beloved, you know? I can't believe how much I love you after all these years and after all we've been through. If I had to face life without you, I don't know that I'd want to. Even arguing with you brings joy to my life!

JC: [softly] You are so good at laying it on thick . . . and you know how to make me cry everytime--you big jerk! But I love you too. I know you love me. . . . [louder] God, look at what's happening! Just like all those years they were together! Watch! They'll get back together, be happy, and everyone else will go crazy! How do they do it? Why do we LET them do it? They make us all crazy!

N: Well, let's not let them make us crazy then. You ARE right. They do seem to get everyone around them going. Everybody has an opinion about them. And we're probably the worst!

JC: Well I can't help it. Justin is like a brother to me. I love the guy--but sometimes he's too stupid to take care of himself.

N: He's been doing all right for some time now. He seems happy with his music and working with those new guys and stuff. Isn't he happy?

JC: Yeah, I think he is. That's why I don't like seeing Brian come waltzing back into his life to screw things up.

N: Josh, we really don't know what happened. We don't know what either of them wants to happen either. Let's trust them to know what's right.

JC: Yeah, but we better be ready with the net to catch the pieces too. You know it'll be back to us if it all falls apart.

N: Well, that's okay. They were there for us plenty of times, weren't they?

JC: Yeah, I guess you're right. . . . What does Brian want? Do you know?

N: All I know is that he called Justin last week and they talked and he invited him to his AA anniversary this Saturday and--

JC: THIS Saturday? The AA anniversary is THIS Saturday? And the meeting is THIS Saturday?

N: Yes, SATURDAY. What's the big deal?

JC: Don't you know what Saturday is? It's THEIR anniversary! WAIT! It's their TWENTIETH anniversary! Shit! What a player!

N: Josh . . .

JC: No really! He calls him up out of the blue after years and years of not talking to him--I mean really not talking--they didn't even ever see each other when he'd come by for "Doodlebug"--God I hate that nickname! So after all this time, he just happens to call for their twentieth anniversary! And uses the AA meeting as an excuse!

N: Well, it seems Justin was into it. He was going to go, I think. Least till Brian called and uninvited him today.

JC: OH GOD! SEE? There he goes again--playing with his emotions like he's some goddamned basketball he can just bounce around and then throw in the garage! I cannot believe this! He invited him, got him to say he'd come, then UNINVITED him?

N: Yeah. Apparently he couldn't get him on the phone either. He left him a message about it.

JC: [really yelling] WHAT? HE LEFT HIM A MESSAGE? I gotta get a gun! Either to use on him, Justin, or me!

N: Very funny.

JC: NO, IT'S NOT FUNNY AT ALL!

N: Josh--please! Calm down!

JC: I cannot believe Justin is falling for all this shit all over again. Right back to being manipulated.

N: You really don't have much respect for Justin at all, do you?

JC: WHAT? What's that supposed to mean?

N: You apparently think Justin is still that little boy from twenty years ago who is just vulnerable and weak and can't resist big old Brian.

JC: No, I don't think that.

N: Apparently you do. You don't think Justin can stand up to some old broken down drunk. One word from Brian and Justin is just putty in his hands again. I seem to recall a very changed Justin when I've been around him. Pretty grown up, actually. . . . Seriously. A man I respect. He's done some good things with his life. With his business. With his career and writing. With his daughter. Even that relationship with Jeremy--

JC: Jason.

N: Whatever--whoever--that guy; never did like him; anyway, he got through that. He survived that. Even took the steps himself to dissolve the whole thing. Christ, he took the steps he needed to dissolve the relationship with Brian. He took control of that situation and ended it. Seems like little Justy can take care of himself.

JC: I wish I believed that. Especially where Brian is concerned.

N: Well, maybe you should believe it. Or at least accept it. It's not like you can do anything about it. You know how these things go--it's a no-winner for you. You say anything against Brian and they do get together, and Justin will just remember that you were against it--and that'll make things uncomfortable between you after that--especially when Brian is around. You can be there if he wants to talk, but you sure as hell better stay neutral! And yeah, if things fall apart--if Justin falls apart--you'll likely be one of the people to have to put things back together again. But that's, as they say, what friends are for!

JC: Great. My friend is considering going into a burning building and I have to stand back and watch!

N: You don't know that that's what's happening! Anyway, they are only talking on the phone. Who knows where it might lead. Maybe it will just be more comfortable when they have to come together for holidays or whatever. It'd be nice to be able to invite them both to things and not have to choose one or the other. And with their daughter, more and more things will be happening that they should both be there for.

JC: So you think Brian's intentions are honorable?

N: [laughing] What a question! You sound like he's asking your sixteen-year-old daughter to the prom or something!

JC: You know what I mean.

N: I don't know. I think Brian is a lonely man a lot of the time. Part of why I feel guilty about not being in touch with him more. He has his AA meetings, his shrink, his music, and the beach. But he really doesn't spend a lot of time with people. And I think his love for Justin was true and real and still exists. It was just never very practical or easy. Who knows, maybe it could be now. Their careers wouldn't be in the way. There's no reason for it to be a secret anymore--it ISN'T a secret anymore. Everyone knows and it's very old news. It would hardly cause a blip on the Web if they ended up together again. Is Justin so happy in his situation?

JC: I don't know. I'm as guilty as you about staying in touch. I think he spends a lot of time alone too. He does still perform some. And seems to really be into helping those kids get started. I think he really loves that.

N: Yeah, but we're just talking about work--not about love. Not about somebody there at night with him. Especially now with the little actress on her way. Wow! Wonder what SHE thinks about all this!

JC: I doubt she'd like it much if she knows about it.

N: Why? You don't like her much, do you?

JC: I LOVE her! I always have. Even when she is difficult! But you know how little girls can be with their fathers--and she's had TWO of them. And even better than that, she's had them individually--never even having to share them with each other--at least not for the past ten years or so. Not sure she'd like that very much--not necessarily being the center of attention for her "Daddy" or her "Papa" every minute of the day.

N: You know, you could very easily turn into a bitter old queen. [bursts into laughter]

JC: Oh! Very funny! You KNOW I hate that term! I am NOT a queen!

N: Well, there was always more speculation about JC than the other members of *N SYNC!

JC: SHUT UP! Little Miss Nicky of the soft face and pretty blond hair! You don't think there were rumors about you!?

N: [still laughing] I love you Josh. You'll always be my KING.

JC: [joining in the laughter] Stop! Don't get me all mushy again!

N: I like you mushy, baby. Actually I like you hard too!

JC: NICK! The things you say! And out in public!

N: Not public. I already dimmed the windows.

JC: You slut! You really do want to do something over the phone, don't you!

N: No, not really. I want to do it with you in person!

JC: Well, you better not be getting all hot and bothered then-- didn't you say I wouldn't see you for a couple hours?

N: Look out the window! I turned around. Fuck the meeting!

JC: NICK! I love you! Get your ass in this house NOW!

N: Yes sir! I love it when YOU get forceful too!

Next: Chapter 7: All Grown Up 7 9


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