This is a new tale with the gorgeous character from the 'All for Terry' story. Its a different tale about thus stunningly beautiful man that passed through my life ever so briefly some years back. And different story with the same people meeting under different circumstances. Again its only fiction as this beautiful man and i never did anything but meet. 'Two ships passing in the night' as it were. But never docking together.
This is for Terry. Where ever he may be.
Enjoy.... ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
All for Terry (A Long Wait (2)
... I knew there was something about Terry that made me like him instantly. I was not sure until later as to why I was somehow drawn to him. Though it would be soon enough for me to find out I was gay. Seeing sports in TV, wrestling mostly. I would watch the shows and see the beefy muscled guys in their tights and be drawn to their looks and the nice bulges they had. Seeing then I was Getting a bit excited from watching it. Feeling a heavy throb in my shorts. It was then that I realized I was indeed gay. But not happy that I was proving everyone right. I was queer, and I hated it. Yes at first I did. But I soon find myself more and more drawn to the images and sights of hit guys in shirts or bare chested and such. Taking longer glances at bulges I had seen before. Really looking at them all. Yes I was indeed gay.
"Fuckk" I huffed in annoyance "Gotta figure how to stop this"
And yes I did try to avoid it all. Trying to be more butch and even setting out to get a girlfriend in school. Just to prove then all wrong. This was my goal. Tina was her name. She was pretty and a bit on the busty side already even at her age. I would find later that she grew to be a full figured woman. With rather large breasts. But for the purposes of my tale I will only mention of the time we dated. Which was not very long. My brother was surprised yet pleased that I had a girlfriend. Glad that I was not a sissy as he had suggested. I did not care what he thought but there was that. And my mother was instantly pleased. Already seeing me married and with kids.
"That is so sweet" she said "You should bring your girlfriend here" "I bet she is very pretty"
Well Tina had been in one of my classes. And I knew she liked me. And she was nice. So I figured she would be a great girlfriend. So I asked her and she accepted. Then we hung out a lot together at school. In the lunch room and with the one or two other people I became friendly with. Outcasts such as myself. And all was going pretty well with Tina. We had the school yard kisses and stuff like that. But I was nervous when touching her anywhere but her arms or waist.
"You are the best girlfriend" I had said to her
Well all this cuteness and happiness was short lived. For as I was talking to my brother one day (something I rarely do). Asking him more about girls and such. He went into a tangent about sex and getting laid. That it was a man duty and right to lay out a girl and prove his manhood. I found his words appalling and wanted nothing to do with it. I was not sure I wanted to have sex with Tina. That was no where near anyplace on my radar. But he kept pushing me to fuck herm that I needed to fuck her. And what made it worse was Tina was inkling that we should move forward in our relationship. That she wanted more than just cute smooches in the school yard. She wanted to get down and dirty with me. I was soon scared and confused as I did not want to go that far, so soon. If at all. So I kept pushing back, telling her I was not ready or just coming up with other excuses.
"Kissing is fun and all" she had said "But we should go further" "You want to go further, right?"
It reached a tipping point when one day when we were sitting in a bench after school, kissing. Tina reach down and grabbed at my crotch. Wanting to feel at my dick. I jerked back in shock of her action.
"What are you doing?" I belted out "Wanna feel it" she said "When are we gonna do it?"
There it was, the question I was hoping she would not ask me. But she did, aided by a feel for all. I pushed back at her. She looked at me with hurt and annoyance. Then proceeded to assault me with questions about us.
"I thought you liked me" She said "Don't you?" "Yes. I do" I said back "Just nervous and this is all knew"
I was going to say more but then she bit back, asking me if I even liked girls. A simple and direct answer that she expected an immediate answer to. But I was stuck in my answer. Unsure of what to say. I did like Tina. She was funny and cool. But sexually, I did not want her. I could not see myself having sex with her. Or any woman for that matter. Their sexual parts just did not appeal to me. But still I tried to answer her
""Are you gay?" She then belted "Some people told me you are. But I didn't believe me" "But maybe you fucking are" "Are you?"
I was feeling sweats building ing my palms. And I was starting to feel a heavy pounding in my chest. I was scared of not answering her or even answering her. But then it just came out. An answer for her to feed on.
"I, I don't know" I said ever so softly. So softly so that she asked me to repeat myself as she was not sure what she heard.
I took in a deep breath and reiterated my statement. Still softly and with my head turned away from her. I just did not know. Her eyes widened a bit and she lost the color in her face for a moment. Shock and maybe some mortification about her. But then she spoke again. He head cocking back in a strange angle. Her face now just a dull pallor. Then she looked around to see if anyone was around. I did not know why. But then she pulled back and then punched me in the face. Hard. I fell to the ground and then she proceeded to barrage me with remarks.
"I should have known better" she belched out " Fucking queer." "I should have fucking known"
Then she kicked me. And curse out that horrible word again. Calling me a faggot and then storming off. Yes she was far from happy with me. She was pissed that I had lead her on. And she was probably right, I had indeed lead her on. Making this fake relationship just to stop the cat calls, and to try and be like everyone else. I placed my hands to my head as I sat there on the ground. Upset at myself more than anything. I had been fake to her. Making her think I wanted something that I really didn't. And I hated myself for it. I brushed myself off and headed home. I saw Terry outside in the front yard if his parents house as I went down the street to my families house. He looked so good as he stood there. I didn't even remembered what he had been doing there, all I saw was him. And he looked fantastic. Tall and in a Tshirt and jeans. Pulling something out of his father's car. I felt a tingle in my loins as I saw him. His biceps flexing as he picked up the item. He saw me and waved at me with one hand, while still holding the item on his other. His face was showing so gns if facial hair now. Around his mouth and chin. He was such a beautiful guy. I smiled back and headed home. Just the sight of Terry made the day that had just turned bad, okay again. I headed home and went inside. Looking back at him along the way.
"He is a good looking guy" I had said under my breath
Went I got into my room I had realized what had happened today. Tina found out I did not like girls and I had left her pissed and fuming about it. She even kicked me about it. But all of that instantly had disappeared when I saw Terry. The nice guy that lived in my neighbor hood. He was like the only bright light in my life now. As I smiled and felt light after seeing him outside. His wave and his smile making me feel good.
"He has so far been very nice to me" I said to myself "Hope that doesn't change"
And I slept well regardless of my day. And it was due to him. He even filled my dreams somehow. Images of a collapse and falling into the ocean. Me trying to swim and keep from being pulled under by a powerful force at my feet. Then looking up and seeing him above me. His handsome face smiling down at me. Then Terry lending out his hand to help me out of the abyss. Pulling me from the darkness. I looked at him in dreamscape. Thanking him in an echoed speech. Then he looked deeply into my eyes. Then he leaned in and tried to kiss me. I pulled back and then woke up. Gasping as I lifted myself out of dreamscape.
"What the?" I shouted as I sat up in my bed.
I took in several breaths. Then my head pulled up images of him, of Terry. I felt a shiver move through me,l. Then an odd ache built up in my chest. And I sighed. It was a heavy sigh filled with many things. But one of them was a need for Terry. To see him again, to be near him again. My God I was infatuated with him....
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To be continued