This is something a little different than i normally write. It's a lovestory. My first.
I was going through some old boxes this week and found some of my old gayadult magazines. I hadn't seen them in years. As I went through them I saw a wrapped paper bag and there were a few more in there. But these were covered in plastic. The guy in the cover of them, I had actually met a few times. Before I knew who he was of course. But I always thought he was the most gorgeous man I had ever seen.
As I mentioned, I had actuallymet him a few times. It turns that we had worked in the same building. And it wasn't until sometime later that I found he was the guy in my magazines. This story is for him. A kind of 'What if' story about a guy I wanted for many years, but fate never made that fantasy come true.
This is for Terry. Where ever he may be.
Enjoy....
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ All for Terry(Chapter 4)...My First...
...... I was dragged home by my brother. He threw the bike in the back and shoved me in the car. But he was silent all the way home. Then when we got there he pulled out the bike and put it in the garage. He went in the house and closed the door on me.
"I am soo screwed" I said to myself"He will tell mom""And then the Bible's will come out"
And I figured I would still get my ass kicked. I opened the door and went inside. Needless to say, all was quiet. My mother did not assault me with terms like 'being gay is a sin' or anything else. It was home time as usual. Save for my brother didn't even look at me. And he refused to even talk to me for a long time. I think maybe he knew I was queer. But he just didn't want to believe it. Until then. And he just couldn't deal with that reality. Needless, I left him alone.
" I haven't heard from Arnold in ages" my mom said some time later"We had a falling out" he answered back
My mother didn't really ask why. She figured it was over a girl.
"Friends come and go" she then said to me later"But family is forever"
Of course she change that tune when came the day I came out to her. But that's for a bit later...
..... I was still living in my moms house when I started to go out and find myself. I was already working at the local fast food place after school. Getting jy ownmoney as i planned on gettimg my first car, and one day get to move out. I was already going to the adult book story at 17 and was finding the magazines of sex and gay guys I was lusting for in the privacy of my bedroom. Let's see, there was Honcho, Playguy, Mandate and others. All had a hothot but I wanted to do in them. I would sit in my room at night, door locked and jerk off to the stud of choice for that month. It was there that I had found the fantasy man of my dreams. There on the cover of that magazine. His beautiful face. Strong physique and blonde and hairy body were a sight I could not get out of my head.
"Wow. You are perfect" I said of the cover image. "Soo beautiful""Just wish I knew your name"
Usually the gay magazines gave the model a name. Something to link them to make you want them. Something to call out as you came from the pleasure of seeing them. But this issue. This perfect man before me had no name. I sighed as I could not place a name to his face. So I made one up.
"You look like a David" I said to the picture. "Yeah. Sounds good. David"
So I stared at each wonderful image of 'David'. Gazing at them intently. Forming a perfect image of him as he would lay next to me in my bed. A fantasy of sitting on him as we had sex. Touching his face and chest. Then leaning down to kiss his mustached mouth. "Yes David. Yes" I would groan as I came for him.
And he seemed to be the one I did so to from then on. I even stopped going to get knew magazines when several months later I had gone to the book shop and found another magazine with this perfect man on the cover.
"David" I called out in the store."It's you again"
The shop keeper gave me an odd look as a called out the name I had given my perfect man. I grabbed it and rushed home with my second magazine with the man I called David. Another night of pleasure as I chirped out his name. And that when I stopped getting magazines. As this man was all consuming to me. I desired him more than anything. This beautiful model on the cover of the two distinct gay adult magazines.
"Wish I could meet you" I said to the face on the pages...
...I was still young and had to keep my desires secret. Especially from my mother. The devot Catholic matriarch. She would condemn my choices.
"It's against God" I would hear her say"An abomination"
So I didn't tell her. Yet. I just kept the secrets to myself and the only one who knew was my best friend at the time. Tina. Tina was a friend I had from my youth. We used to live on the same block when we were kids. Playing stick ball in the streets with the other neighborhood kids. My family had moved away, but we had found each other in high school again. Then were inseparable. It was funny because my mom thought we were a couple. But that was furthest from the truth. The truth was that Tina was also gay. She had confided in me one day as we were hanging out after school.
"I am too" I had said to her with a big smile"When did you know? " came the obvious questions. "That's awesome"
So we of course planned on secrecy from our respective parents on the subject. Making them think what they wished. I had even shown her my magazines as she was curious.
"There are no girl magazines" she would say"You gay guys are lucky" "But us gay girls not so much""We have to look at the Playboy's as such.""It's nice. But not meant for us"
I then showed her my preferred man of the bunch. The man I called David. I let her see it with a soft sigh escaping me. Say how this was my perfect guy.
"Eww!" She said"Hairy is gross"
I pulled it from her as her disgust for him bothered me. But I just figured she was a girl and didn't want hair. Bit as for me, and my fantasies I wanted to lay my head on his chest as I slept.
"You should go for the hot smooth guy like this." She said
She poinetd out the dark hair muscled guy in one of the other magazines I had.he was nice. Chad was his name on the page. Handsome and smooth, with nice balls. But he wasn't my David.
"He is hot too" I said to apease her
As the years went on, we started to go out to bar. Gay bars at that. I was old enough to drink and have fun. My mom was okay with it because I was going out with Tina. She assumed she would be her daughter in law one day.We went out bar hoping alot. I started to meet guys there. Finally getting out and having fun. I met several guys in the coming months. But mostly it was to go drinking with my friend and play some pool.
"I like this place" I had said of one bar we frequented more often
That's where I met my first boyfriend........
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++*
More to come