This story is different than i normally write. It's a love story. My first.
I was going through some old boxes of things and found some adult magazines I used to have. I hadn't seen them in years. As I went through them I saw a wrapped package and there were a few more in there. But these were covered in plastic. The guy in the cover of them, I had actually met a few times. Before I knew who he was of course. But I always thought he was the most gorgeous man I had ever seen.
As I mentioned, I had actually met him a few times. It turns that we had worked in the same building. And it wasn't until sometime later that I found he was the guy in my magazines. This story is for him. A kind of 'What if' story about a guy I wanted for many years, but fate never made that fantasy come true.
This is for Terry. Where ever he may be.
Enjoy.... ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++++++ All for Terry (Chapter 35) ... Trying to Reconnect...
... I got home that evening late. Because of my getting to work late I stayed later. Besides I had a lot if things on my desk. And I wanted to get through all of them. I stopped someplace to pick up some food as I was too roted to cook something at home. And I planned to get to bed early. I was super tired from the night before. The night I had very little sleep. I got home and then ate. I didn't even turn on the TV. U would go to bed early, read a little and hopefully crash out and finally sleep. I got to my room and looked at the shambles that was my bed. I had obviously forgotten to make before I left that morning.
"Oh well" I said "Will make it easy to just crawl into bed."
And I did. I climbed into bed and grabbed a book I had stopped reading some time back. Determined to get back to it. Hoping I could pick it up and remember what the story was about. I knew it was about vampires as I was strangely fascinated with them. I quickly got back into the book and read a dozen pages. But I started to feel slumber begin to creep in.. I put the book down and got up. It was to brush my teeth and get some water. First teeth..back and forth with the electric toothbrush. The buzzing sound filling the bathroom. I glanced at myself for a moment. I did look very tired. I then went to get water. And that's when I saw the box of things I had pulled out the other day for Terry. It was still there. I knew he didn't want the other items. But I hoped (or not hoped) he had taken his shirt.
"Its still here" I said "He forgot it"
I picked up the folded shirt. Then pulled the shirt up to my face. To my nose. Then I inhaled. Taken in his scent. The scent that was still on the shirt, even after all this time. I folded it and places it back next to the box. I then went to get my water for bed. I decided instead to make some tea to calm me. My heart was thumping and aching again. And that's where I saw the note from this morning. I picked it up and saw his writing again. 'Call me' it said at me again. And then I noticed the number on it. Terry's number. At first I wondered why he gave me the number. But then I remembered that I had deleted his phone number some time back.
It had been when I was trying to get myself back together. And my boss suggested I do it.
"You will never be free of his hold until you do it" She had said
I didn't want to, but I sat and stared At my old phone for a while. Just looking at the number that was his. I remembered the last four numbers quite easily for some reason. '5233' but the rest fails me now. But yes I had deleted Terry's number. Dumping in to the trash of my phone. Trying to tell myself I was over it all. That I could move on from him. Even though I was completely wrong. I was never to move past from what i felt for Terry. My heart was his from day one and always would be.
"I did delete it" I said as I grabbed my phone "But here it is again"
And it was the same number too. Those last four numbers that had been burned into my head seemed almost bolder in his script. Then I just looked at the writing. His writing. It was almost beautiful. And the familiar ache returned.
"And there goes my heart again" I said to myself. "Why does he have such a hold on me"
I punched in the numbers one by one. Taking in breaths at each number it seemed. And my heart began to thump in my chest. Like the first time we had started to talk. My nerves at a heightened freak out mode. The phone rang once, twice. And then started a third when he answered. And there was he beautiful voice.
"Hello?" He asked
I was silent. Not able to get any words out. Fear and many other emotions running through me. Then as he asked again I just hung up. I just couldn't. I took on a deep sigh as I put down the phone. Then many hard breaths. I just had no idea what to do. I couldn't seem to talk to him. So I sat there for a bit. Just breathing again..trying Just to calm my heart down. And then my phone rang. I liked at it and then the number. It was the number I just dialed, so it was him. I knew I had to answer it. So on the second ring I did.
"Hello" I said softly "Hello. Did you just call me?" he asked
Then he asked of it was me and I replied with a yes as well. Then he asked if I was okay. That I sounded odd.
"No. Just.. I started to say "Just saw your note and.." "Well I glad you called baby" he replied "I hoped you would."
I wasn't sure what to say as I was still scared and trying to calm myself from this new call. So I just said that I wanted to hear his voice. That I liked that we talked. But he had still forgotten his shirt. He said that he would pick it up when ever I wanted him to. Then he just came out and asked me to dinner.
"Can I take you out to dinner baby?" He asked "I really want to restart what we had" "I really do. So is it okay?"
I thought about it. Was unsure if I was wanting to push it. But I sop missed him. And just hearing his voice on the line reminded me of how much so. And I did want to get back to where we had left off after our trip. Ignoring what happened after. Hoping that he was serious about trying to fix this. So I said yes to it. He said he could come up near me and go anywhere I wanted to go. I said back that whatever he wanted was fine. Just nothing special. I didn't want an expensive meal. I didn't because I really wasn't sure how much I would eat. So he suggested I come down and we could go to that pier were he was me again. There was a pizza place there on the pier. And we could walk the boardwalk and beach
"And if you want.." He continued "You can bring a few things and stay at my place the night"
I heard him and quickly mulled it all over. Not really saying anything
"You don't have to" he then said "Its just so you don't have to drive" "I promise nothing weird" "I just want to see you" "Okay?"
I sighed and then saud okay back. I heard his sigh of relief over the phone. Then he said "good. We will do it Friday. Okay?" I again said okay. Then he suggested I get some sleep. Then said he would see me Friday. I agreed softly and prepared to hang up. But he said that he did care for me just before hanging up
"I care deeply for you you know" he said "I know" I said back. "I do too Terry" "More than you could ever know"
Then he said good night and we both hung up. I sat there and looked at the phone for a bit. Then I grabbed my tea and headed for bed. I grabbed the box and took it into the room with me. I crawled into bed and and brought his shirt up with me. That and the magazine's. I wanted to see his face again. So I opened the one up and looked at the main image. There he was, my Terry. In all his perfect beauty, sitting there in the centerfold image. One of the sexiest images of a man I had ever seen. His body was stunning as ever in it. Even more so as I studied his firm again. His shoulders as he sat the. Strong and manly shoulders. His sexy almost stern and serious look as he gazed at the camera. Letting all know he was pure man. I gotcha the image at his gorgeous chest. The dense but hot heavy blonde furs covered his chest and down his belly. I grabbed his shirt and inhaled him again. It was still there a sift yet distance smell if him from so long ago. When he laid down with me the last time.
"Oh my Terry" I sighed "How I want to feel you again" "To touch you again" "To kiss you again."
I reached down and felt for my dick. It was getting hard at the thought of him, at the uncertain but viable hope that some how we could reconnect and be as one again. I looked at that sexiest if sexiest image as my beautiful man sat there. On the chair he was place upon. One leg up and stretched away as his hands reached down and grabbed at his equipment, his big perfect balls. And his semi arrest cock. It may there next to his strong hand and against his thigh. I pulled the magazine's closer as I wanted to kiss his image. As this was the only closeness I had at the moment. I kissed at his chest and his muscular arm. Licking my lips and I pulled in my hard dick with my other hand.
"Hmm fuckk. Terry. By beautiful Terry" I moaned "I love you soo much"
I felt the tears begin to pool again in my eyes just fir that longing. But even with it I imaged the missed pleasure if feeling him I side me again. No one had ever made me feel so complete in all.my life as the brief time with him. My hand moved faster on myself as I groaned for him. Calling out to the cosmos and out into the heavens to bring me to him again. And all the sensations and smells filling me at that moment. That and just gazing at the man and the entirety of his magnificence pulled me to the edge of no return. And i cried our to him. Begging him to live me again as I blew out a heavy orgasm. All for him.
"Terry. Ohh God Terry" I shouted
The tears exploded from me as I finished my orgasm. And I then lay there on my bed spent from the strange and lonely pleasure I had just given my self in his name. And as I cried softly for him. I knew then and there that I could not even find a love greater than the love i had for Terry. That I knew if he somehow decided in all this that he would not want me. Even though he was trying to fix what was left if our relationship. That if after it all I was not who he wanted that I would be alone and broken as I have been now for some time.
"I cannot love anyone else" I said softly to his image next to me. "For no one can fill my heart as you have" "You are my all Terry" "You are my all"
I then wiped my tears and kissed his image again. A soft oh so loving kiss that no one else could have from me. Then I closed the magazine's and placed then back in the box. His shirt lie next to me in the bed again. So I can smell him next to me, even if he really wasn't. My dreams again filled with his face. The beauty of his face. There just inches from me. My hands reaching to touch him again, to feel his face and lips. But always just put of my reach some how.
"I love you" I called to the image in my dreams.... ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ To be continued