This story is different than i normally write. It's a love story. My first.
I was going through some old boxes of things and found some adult magazines I used to have. I hadn't seen them in years. As I went through them I saw a wrapped package and there were a few more in there. But these were covered in plastic. The guy in the cover of them, I had actually met a few times. Before I knew who he was of course. But I always thought he was the most gorgeous man I had ever seen.
As I mentioned, I had actually met him a few times. It turns that we had worked in the same building. And it wasn't until sometime later that I found he was the guy in my magazines. This story is for him. A kind of 'What if' story about a guy I wanted for many years, but fate never made that fantasy come true.
This is for Terry. Where ever he may be.
Enjoy.... ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ All for Terry (Chapter 34) ... Thank the Thunder...
... The thumping in my chest made me think I was going to have a heart attach. After the earlier phone call with Terry. He was here at my door. He was here to get his things. The things he had left behind. I held his shirt for a bit just to take in his smell one last time as I feared it would be gone soon. That's when I heard the thunder outside. Was it raining? Not something i needed to hear at the moment.
"Shit" I huffed.
But I had to open the door. So i took a deep breath and then opened the door. And there he stood. I felt my heart fall in my chest again.
"My God he is so beautiful" my head screamed "Hi baby" he then said "Is it raining?, I asked him
I knew it had to be as his jacket had moisture on it. So I let him in. I was going to just give him the box, but knew I couldn't leave him to the elements. Then behind him was a bright flash, followed by a loud thunderclap.
"Come in" I said "Get in out of the rain" "Thanks" he said
Then he came in. I took his jacket and told him to sit for a bit. I was hoping the rain would pass soon. The problem was it was quickly getting heavier. I could hear it pattering against the windows.
"Not a good night to be out" he then said "No its not. Maybe you should have waited for another day to come by" i trued to say
He sat down and then I offer him some water or soda.
"Thanks" he said "Water is fine"
I left him there to go get it for him. Then I pondered what a mess my place was. That he would think me a slob. But I couldn't worry about that right now. Then I came back with his water and handed it to him.
"How are you?" He then asked. "I am okay. Just work" I said "Kinda all there is in my life" "Yeah. Me too" he said back
I looked at him. Knowing that he was at least trying to have a social life. I meant I did see him out with someone the other day. "But you are dating? Aren't you?" I asked "Well. Trying" he said back "But very successfully"
He looked back at me with a sad face. Then he lowered his head down a bit.
"And I didn't really know why until the other day" he said "Its because of you" "So are you.. Um . dating?" He then asked me
I looked at my hands and then at his. He was fiddling with them a bit. Then I glanced back up at his face. He was nervous. Like he was worried about what I might say. But he hadn't anything to concern himself for. Because I was a failure there. More So than he seemed to claim he was.
"I tried once. After you.." I started "But he didn't care about me" "He only made me feel worse about myself"
My lower lips pursed to a pit and I said that I really didn't want to be with anyone now. That he needed to get my life together and focus on career.
"Oh. Okay then" he then said
Then he slapped his hands to his knees and got up. He sounded disappointed that I didn't say what I guess he wanted me to say. "I should get going" he then said
And as he said that there was another thunderous boom for outside. At the rain was smashing against the windows pretty hard. I reached for his hand and grabbed for it. I don't want him to go out in that mess. But then again. I didn't want him to leave. Him just being here with me was the best time I had felt in ages. Even if it was a bit uncomfortable.
"No. Don't go Terry" I blurted "I don't want you to go out in this" "Please. Stay"
I heard him sigh and his hand touched mine. He held it for a moment.
"I don't want to put you out sweetheart" he added "No please" I said again "I don't know what I would do if you left out in this and something happened to you" "I have a spare room" "I'll make a bed for you and you can stay here tonight" "Okay?"
He sat back down, closer to me now. Then he reached for my head and stroked my hair. His hand near my face made my heart near stop. And that familiar ache burnes in my chest once more. I wanted just to fall into his arms at that moment. To be lost in the embrace if the man I loved. But I didn't dare be so vulnerable.
"Okay" he finally agreed "I will be out of your hair in the morning"
I told him to wait here and I would get it ready for him. I got up and headed to the hall. The spare room had a futon that I could make into a bed. I grabbed sheets and made a nice place for him to sleep. Terry came up.the hall as I was making it. He stood at the door way and watched me. I looked up and saw him standing there. He was softly smiling at me.
"Are you sure?" He asked "I don't want to make this any more uncomfortable for you"
And then another crash outside. It was so close it startled me.
"I will not have you go out in this Terry" I said firmly "Yes sir" he said back in a light tone
I finished and came back towards him as he stood there almost blocking the door. I said 'excuse me' to him so I could pass.he turned and let me. His wonderful scent infiltrated my nose again. But I passed him as I turned through the doorway. Surprised I did not graze him as I did.
"I have a toothbrush you can use as well" I said
I went to my room and to the main bathroom. In the drawer was some extra toothbrushes. I handed it to him with the toothpaste.
"Here you go" I said "Thanks baby" he said back. "Promise I will be outta here in the morning"
I then left him there next to the doorway to the spare room. I needed to get some water. When I came back I saw the spare room door was opened. Terry was in there and he was already shirtless. I sighed as I gazed at his perfect body. The broad shoulders and full meaty chest. I could see the light blonde fur covering his torso and down to his pants. Thankfully he didn't see me as I stopped and just looked at him. But how could I not. He was so beautiful. He turned and his back was to me. Then he pulled down his pants. I knew I had to leave and head to my room.
"Good night Terry" I said as I turned to go to my room "Good night baby" I heard him say back
I went into my room and pushed the door to close. I crawled into bed and lay there for a while. I stared up at the ceiling while the world exploded outside my window. I sighed a deep almost painful sigh that filled in my chest. Then looked at my door. It wasn't fully closed as I could see the crack of dim light from the hall nightlight I had plunged in. A soft bluish glow that pushed through the crack in the door.
"Oh my Terry" I sighed as I lay there. "You are here, but not here" "I wish you were lying here next to me"
I felt tear begun to well up again. I sucked it up in a sniffle. Then just lay there listening to the thunder outside. I just couldn't sleep though. The rain, the sounds and knowing he was in the next room. My mind was full of thoughts. So many thoughts. And I had no idea what to do about them. The man I loved was in my apartment again. But it wasn't the way I wanted him here. So again I sigh. Realizing I have done that so much. Oh so much. So I got up as sleep would not come. Even as the thunder began to subside and grow more distant. I still felt no such thing as sleep.
"I'll get some water" I said
So I opened my door and headed to the kitchen. I grabbed some water and headed back to my room. As I passed the door to the second room where he was sleeping I hear a soft grumble. Faint yet noticable. I knew it was Terry. He was softly snoring. Something I remembered from laying next to him. His soothing gentle snoring. I looked at the door that was half opened. Then pushed it open more. I then looked in to the room. It was dark save for the light from the flickering lightning still outside. I looked at the sleeping form of Terry in the bed. The sheets covering him up to his pectorals. And as the lights flashed I could see his chest, his face, if for just seconds at a time. His face turned towards me and the door. Again I sighed deeply. He was beautiful even in this dim light. I could see the hairs on his arm and chest. They seemed to sparkle in the flickering light as it danced over his beautiful form.
"I love you Terry" I said to the sleeping man "I won't ever stop"
Then I went to bed again. And again staring up at the ceiling some more. Buy eventually sleep did come. And I fell into its embrace. Floating in seas of quiet. The sounds of the water below me. It filled my head. Calm patterning water under me. Like the water that was under me as I had sat on that pier. Beating against it. It was almost peaceful. So delightfully peaceful. Then a voice seem to float over and above the sounds of the water. A familiar voice that soothed my head.
"I am here" I softly said "I am always here" "I do love you"
It was the l voice of love. The voice of the man that filled my heart. And I thought I felt soft lips kiss my cheek. Tenderly pressed to me. Then the scent, that familiar scent that said it was him. "Terry?" I called out in the darkness
I shot up in my bed as I looked around. It was morning. The light pierced through the shades and drew lines on my face. Then as i looked around the room. It was my bedroom. But some strange location. And then.my eyes fell on the clock next to my bed. It was after 8 am already. At first I just looked at it, not thinking much if the number. But then reality slapped at me. I woke up late. I was going to be late.
"Shiit!" I shouted "Did the alarm go off?" "And how did I miss it"
I flew out of the bed and fan into the shower. Taking a fast one to get going. I got out and dressed. I grabbed my phone and called my boss. Telling her I woke up late.
"I be there as soon as I can" I said
I then stepped out of my room and smelled coffee. I then saw that the spare room was back to normal. The futon was straight back up into a couch and the sheets were folded on the cushion. I went to the kitchen as i remembered Terry had stayed there last night. I told him to because of the rain. I didn't want him out there last night. But something said I just wanted him here. Just to have him here.
"Terry?" I called out
I got to the kitchen and he was not there. But he left a note on the coffee maker. Saying he made the coffee. And that he had to go. He was gone. I closed my eyes as I looked down at the floor. I was going to be sad. But then finished reading his note.
"Call me" it said....