This story is different than i normally write. It's a love story. My first.
I was going through some old boxes of things and found some adult magazines I used to have. I hadn't seen them in years. As I went through them I saw a wrapped package and there were a few more in there. But these were covered in plastic. The guy in the cover of them, I had actually met a few times. Before I knew who he was of course. But I always thought he was the most gorgeous man I had ever seen.
As I mentioned, I had actually met him a few times. It turns that we had worked in the same building. And it wasn't until sometime later that I found he was the guy in my magazines. This story is for him. A kind of 'What if' story about a guy I wanted for many years, but fate never made that fantasy come true.
This is for Terry. Where ever he may be.
Enjoy.... ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ All for Terry (Chapter 31) ...Seeing Him Again..
... It was almost an hour later when I got to my destination. I had forgotten how far I had moved from my old place. The roads were somewhat busy so the drive seemed longer than the near 50 miles I was driving. I got to the restaurant where I was meeting Lisa and went to the greeter. The lovely woman smiled and asked I I was needing a table.
"No I am meeting someone" I said
She asked me for the name and I couldn't remember Lisa's last name for the life of me. So I just looked at her dumbfounded. Then i tried to describe Lisa.
"Female, about yay high.." I the said "Dark hair"
She looked at me like I was mad. Then I heard a familiar voice. I looked in and saw Lisa. She waved me to her.
"That's her" I said
The woman smiled and we nodded at one another. Then I stepped into the place. Lisa grabbed me and hugged me. Then we stepped back to the table she got. We sat down and she quickly told me I looked like Crap.
"Looks like you have been dragged through the streets" she said quite matter if fact. "Your relationship with the hobbit take a toll on you?" "You did say you broke up with him right?"
I nodded in the affirmative. Then saying it had been quite a few years for that break up. That life had been rough after him.
"Why?" She asked "Don't tell me you still love him" "Out God noo!" I blurted "That was just a stupid mistake"
I sat back as we talked a bit. The waiter had brought us some drinks we had ordered and we continued to talk. Telling her that I had given up trying to find love. That all my relationships ended up a disaster
"The last guy told me to get the fuck out because I wouldn't have sex with him on the first date" I huffed "Really!?" She replied in shock "So did you?" "God no!" I huffed "Not something I would do anyways."
I then just said that love and relationship was just not worth all this drama and trouble. I just said to her I was done with giving my heart out I my to have it swatted on by some self centered prick. "Well not sure if you should give up entirely" she said "One day when you least expect it.."
I stopped her and just added that I was not going to put my heart out there again. Because I just didn't want the hurt to come back again. That I would never trust anyone with it.
"Maybe just sex" I finally said "Nothing else." "But not for a long while"
She smiled and placed a hand to mine. Letting me just talk. She promised not to even try and change my mind. She was trying to be a good friend. And I appreciated it. We started to hang out as much as we could. Even though it wasn't alot.mostky because of her being so far away. But once every couple of weeks at least. My life returned to some modicum if normal and I was back to working myself just to keep busy. I was still not going out and my only bits of pleasure were watching wrestling on TV. Porn had somehow not done it for me anymore. Those hot muscle guys stuffed into those tights was hot.
"Something to look at at least" I said
Its because I was trying not to break down and rummage through the closet for that damned box again. And I had been able to do so for the most part. But every once in a while I broke and did so. Staring at that beautiful face again. Then falling into tears before sleep found me. But mostly I was okay and just moved on. It was about a month later that I got together with Lisa again. We were going to to have dinner down there by her and then a club. I was to stay with her for the weekend. And we would do things there. I drove down after a short work day and was to meet her at her place. She would then drive the rest. I was glad as I wanted to relax.
"Hey there mister" she said to me with a hug "Glad you decided to come down to the old hood" "Give me a minute to finish getting gorgeous" "Of course my dear" I said back
I sat down in her place. It hadn't changed much since the last time I had been there it seems forever ago. I waited for Lisa to finish as I pondered the old days for a moment. The days before my exes and before Terry. I think I was actually more content back then. With so little to worry about. Just work and what my friends and I were doing on the weekend. Lisa and Tim.
"How I miss Tim" I softly huffed "Always the funny one"
I sat there a bit longer as I looked around he place again. Wishing I could go back to those old times. Before the pain and heart ache of today. But I knew I could not go back. It was the here and now. And I had lived through everything I had to live through. Lisa came out a few moments later. She was ready to go.
"Do I look fabulous or no?" She asked "Fabulous" I said back
We headed out. Then she drove up to where we were going. It was a cool looking place to eat. Almost fancy. She said we needed to enjoy ourselves and then we could walk down to the pier where they had a carnival and games. I thought that would be great. We sat down and ate. Talking about the past a bit. But she asked how the new job had been going. I said it was good.
"My boss is really cool" I said "And very understanding." "Through all my shit that had happened. She let me keep my job. Sort of" "Well that's good to hear" she said back
I smiled and then asked her how the old job was doing, since she had stayed there. She was one of the group managers that handled large group bookings. If memory served it was groups of 10 or more that that department handled. Bigger parties going together someplace. She said some of her employees were just idiots and wishes she had a crew like we were back in the day. But it was the crew she had. She said that if I was ever needing a job again.she would hire me on the spot.
"That way you can move back here" she said "And we could see each other more often" "I don't know where I will end up" I said "But for now I am pretty happy where I am" "But you never..."
My words were instantly silenced as I looked up. My.mouth hung open in a near gasp and my lower lips started to quiver. Lisa looked at me with concern and asked what's wrong. Then she noticed I want looking at her. But somewhere behind her. She turned and saw the object if my sudden silence.
"Hey isn't that him?" She asked "The fucker that broke yer heart?.."
I looked at him. Yes it was Terry, here. I felt my heart start to pound in my chest and that familiar ache that I thought had left me. But seeing him again only brought it back. And he was as handsome as ever. The most stunning man my eyes had ever looked upon. I sighed with a soft pain that filled me up. I felt lisa tapping at my hand but was oblivious to her as all there was in my eyes was him. But then he saw me. My heart sank as he looked over and smiled. That's when I noticed the guy he was with. Some younger guy that looked like he barely got out of high school. A pretty looking thing that I instantly hated. Terry made the motion to his 'date' or partner or whomever the hell he was that he would be right there. Then he came over to our table.
"Hey you. How are you?" He said lightly "It's been a while.." "Yeah...!" Lisa started to say with her voice raising
I grabbed her hand and squeezed. Urging her to stop. I knew she wanted to rip him a new ass with words. But I could do it. No matter what happened between he and I, I could never attack him verbally or any other matter.
"Okay" I said just getting something out "Good to here" he said
His voice soft and kind like I remembered. It bit into my chest and heart. I felt I would explode more and more as he stood there. "Here with your friend?" He asked "Yup".
He smiled again and said a few other things. Asking if I was with someone. I just nodded 'no'. His face saddened a bit as he heard that. But then he said I would find someone. That I was a sweet guy. Then he said he had to get back to his date. Then he placed a hand on my shoulder. Saying it was nice to see me again.
"Bye" He said with that smiled that melted me. "Bye" I managed to push out.
But I couldn't get much of a breath. I was sure I would just drop in death right there. And as I watched him walk off I felt the tears well up fast. I had to get out of there. I couldn't stand it. Lisa looked at me. Asking if I was okay.
"I gotta get out of here" I almost shouted "I can't" "It's okay. Go" she said "I'll pay for this and meet you outside"
I just nodded. Trying to smile at her. But the emotion was too much. I got up and rushed towards the exit. Almost knocking several people over as I ran to get out of there. I ran outside and to the left passed the outside waiting area. I grabbed a seat and just started to bawl gasping just to get some air into my lungs.
"Why are you doing this to me" I blubbered to some unseen force "Why".
I leaned over and cried into my hands. I felt my heart was going to bust through my chest cavity. Just burst through it like something from a horror movie and I would just fall over in death. But then I would be free of pain. I pondered such a thing. No more pain. An end to my suffering. I know a few people saw me there and looked at me with concern. But I just waved everyone off. I wanted to be left there to myself and what was slowly killing me. I didn't know how long I was sitting there. It could have been hours all I knew. For all there was was the tears that didn't want to stop. But then I heard Lisa's voice.
"Oh my God are you alright?" She asked "What the heck happened in there?"
I looked at her. The tears still filling my eyes. I really didn't know what to say. It was like the explosion of emotion returned from the day he dumped me, all over again. A wave that threatened to drag me down and I could not get air. I just looked at her. Her hand on my back, gently caressing it.
"I don't know" I then blurted "I thought I was okay" "But... But seeing him again"
I turned back away from her. Staring down at the ground. And kept repeating. "I thought I was too. I thought I was okay" trying to ease myself with repeating it. I then felt his hands move around my back and she leaned in to hug me. It was comforting. But I was still broken. And I didn't think I would ever be okay.
"Lets get you home" she then said "Here i have the food left behind" "We will eat it later and drink." "Come on"
She patted my back and helped me up. We walked back to the car and she placed the food boxes in the back. She got in the car and prepared to start it. I just stood there outside of it. Staring at the carnival several blocks away. Then looking up at the clear sky. Seeing the fee stars I could due to the lights if the city. I sighed deeply.
"Come on" she called "Get in"
I looked down through the window and said that I wanted to just walk. Saying we should go to the carnival. That maybe it would clear my head.
"Just don't want to go home right now" I said "Is that okay?"
She smiled back and agreed. Stepping back out if the car and locking it up. Then she came around and grabbed my hand. She gave me another hug.
"I get it" she said "Lets go. Maybe I can win you a teddy bear"
I smiled lightly at the comment. Then she took my hand and we walked the few blocks to the pier and the beach where the carnival was. The cool breeze and smell of the ocean reached me and made me feel a bit better. Then we walked into the crowds and the sounds of the carnival. My mood started to lighten a bit again. And that was good.... ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ To be continued