Alex and Sebastian 41
Hello again guys, this is the final season for Alex and Sebastian. I hope you guys enjoy!
Anyways, please continue to email me so I know someone is reading and liking what I'm writing. I also have a playlist of songs that I listen to while writing the chapters if y'all are interested.
The email you can reach me at is lore.guerra13@gmail.com for questions, comments, concerns or donations ha-ha, just kidding!
A fellow reader made a playlist with most of the songs I've either used or will use in the series. If y'all want to listen to it while reading the chapters the link for it is this:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJZWEUrY9KRSfQ98rYlMYix46VM0CJ7XS
One new song will be added on to the playlist.
Good in Goodbye – Carrie Underwood.
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11 weeks before the wedding
"Come on, Matt. It'll be fun."
"Alright, alright. Let me just get my coat."
As Matt went back to our room to find his coat, I thought about what was waiting for us at El Vaso. It had been years since I had been there. Lea told me that they had a new owner and a few things had changed but I really hoped it wasn't too different than how I left it.
Once Matt came back, we got in his car and drove to El Vaso. Parking in the small parking lot, I tried to have Matt walk inside.
"It's so nice outside, though. Why don't we stay out here, A?"
"Sure," I said. Looking inside, I noticed that it was a little packed anyways so I was okay with staying outside. "Let me just get us something to drink then." I left Matt outside as I walked towards the bar. I found an empty stool next to this one girl so I made my way to it and waved the bartender down.
"Can I get two of those craft beers, please?" I asked the bartender, pointing at a familiar looking craft beer behind him. He nodded and proceeded to hand me the beers. As I paid for them, I accidentally bumped into the girl next to me. "Oh, I'm sorry," I said.
She turned around and offered me a smile. "Don't worry about it. It's fine." I immediately noticed how fine she looked in her mustard colored dress.
Hey, just because I preferred sex with guys didn't mean girls didn't occasionally catch my eye.
I smiled back and began to walk back out with our beers in hand.
"What's going on in your world?
I hope that you're doing fine.
I just called to say there's not a day that you don't cross my mind."
George Strait's What's Going on in Your World caught my attention. No, it wasn't that, really. It was the voice that was singing it. It was so familiar.
I mean, how could it not be?
I stared at Sebastian sitting on that stool upstage. I hadn't been ready to see him tonight – hell, I wasn't ready to see him tomorrow night at dinner like we had planned. He couldn't see me in the small crowd I was in but I could see him. Feelings of melancholy and nostalgia and regret and longing flooded into me the longer I listened to him sing and I realized that, other than recently, the last time I had seen him had been almost five or six years ago. He hadn't seen me then either.
Deciding I should probably leave before he saw me, I walked back out with my two beers still in hand.
"Here you go, Matt." I offered him one of the craft beers I had bought for us and opened the other one.
Matt took the beer in hand and looked at it. "Is this, like, a craft beer or something?"
I took a sip of the beer and sighed, the taste of the beer so familiar to me even after so many years. "Yeah," I said. "It was one of our – one of my favorites," I finished.
Matt didn't notice my abruptness and took a sip. "Whoa," he laughed. "That's really strong, ha."
"Yeah," I smiled. "That's why I liked it so much."
Matt shrugged. "If you like it, I'll give it a try," he smiled. "That guy's pretty good in there, by the way."
I raised my eyebrows as I looked back inside to where Sebastian was playing. "Yeah, he is," I turned around.
Matt's phone began to vibrate and he looked down at it. "Sorry, Alex. It's the office back in Austin. I need to take it."
"Yeah, no problem," I said. "I'll be here."
As Matt walked away to answer his phone, I turned my head back into El Vaso and caught myself looking for Sebastian upstage. I noticed how his hands traveled through the guitar's neck as he played his song. I could barely register his voice much less understand the words but, really, I knew the song by heart.
As Sebastian finished his song, I was left with an uncomfortable emptiness. I couldn't explain it – but it was there. I turned back to see Matt still on his phone. He turned and gave me a pained face and I shot a small smile back at him. His job as a financial advisor involved him putting in a lot of man hours with his clients – even if that meant them calling him at nine at night.
As I looked back into through the window, I saw Sebastian walk back to the bar top and sit next to the girl I had bumped into. I couldn't help it – I kept looking at them as they smiled to each other and talked. From what I could tell, she was getting ready to leave as she leaned forward and kissed Sebastian's cheek. I blinked and turned away from them, realizing whatever was going on inside was none of my business.
By the time Matt was done with his call, I had finished both our beers. "Sorry," I said. "I figured you'd take a while and your beer was going to get warm."
"Don't worry about it," Matt smiled. "Do you want to get some more?"
"Uh, actually, it's getting pretty late. Maybe you want to go back to our place?"
"Yeah, okay, Alex," Matt cocked his head. "Let's go."
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Flashback – Thanksgiving 2020
"How you feeling, Lex?"
I looked over at the driver's seat where Jay was driving. "I'm feeling good," I said, ignoring the small stomach ache that had been brewing since we left Austin.
"Good," he smiled. "My mom said she has a giant turkey waiting for us back home. Hell, even Darren is excited to beat your ass in Madden, ha-ha."
I laughed, "Please, if that little turd is good at anything it's shoving his head up his butt. I'll beat him in Madden, just wait, ha-ha."
Nancy, Jay's mom, and Darren had been coming up to celebrate the holidays with us for the past few years. This was the first time Jay and I had driven down for Thanksgiving since we had left four years ago.
I was nervous to be back.
It took us a few hours to get to Jay's house but when we did, Nancy greeted us with a smile and a hug. A few seconds later, Darren came out and said hi to his brother and me. At 16, I could see that Darren had inherited his family's good genes. Like his older brother, he had medium length blonde hair, light brown eyes, great smile and a lean frame.
After a welcome meal from Nancy, Jay, Darren and I decided to move to the living room to play a little Madden. It took Darren three games before he finally beat me.
"See! Told you I could beat you now," he said.
"Please!" I laughed, "It took you three tries! That doesn't even count!"
While I kept teasing Darren, Jay and his mom had a quiet conversation from the couch they were sitting in. Trying not to eavesdrop, I punched Darren in the arm and challenged him to another game.
After another win by me, Darren was getting tired of playing Madden. "What's wrong?" I laughed. "I thought you said you were going to beat me again." Another laugh escaped me as Darren shot me a look, turned away, and asked his brother if he wanted to play with him for a while. Jay laughed but agreed.
"Jay," Nancy called from the kitchen, "I need some more cranberries! Would you mind going to the store real quick and getting me some?"
Before Jay could speak, I got up. "No worries, Nancy. I'll go."
"Nonsense," she said. "I'll have Jay here go to the store."
"I insist. I haven't been in town for so long, I wouldn't mind driving around a little."
"If that's what you want, hun."
I nodded and walked out to Jay's car as he tossed me his keys. It was a short drive from Jay's mom's house to the store but I took the long way there to just look at the city I used to live in.
I heard you laughing
In a crowd outside a restaurant we used to go to.
I caught a glimpse that stopped me in my tracks.
It took me back.
As I drove, a strong feeling of melancholy rose up in my chest. It had been so long since I had been in this town, seen these familiar houses, and heard the familiar sounds.
I thought back to the time I spent living here, the places I'd been, the people I'd met. I hadn't even realized how hard it had been to leave until I came back.
Why hadn't I come back sooner?
Oh, right.
You looked happy with that little girl up on your shoulders, happy.
I know where she got those crystal eyes of blue.
Time's been sweet to you.
Even as I recalled the heart break I strongly associated with this city, I couldn't genuinely hate it. As terrible as it was, I remember how happy I had been for the short months I had been with Sebastian. I wouldn't have traded that time for anything.
It had been a few years since then but I was happy where I was now. Jay and I were happy. We had a nice place in Austin – a nice life.
I was happy.
Getting to the store, I parked near the front and walked inside. Luckily, it wasn't as packed as it usually was on account of it being a holiday. Only the last minute shoppers were out right now.
I made my way to the isle that held the ingredients Nancy needed and looked around for them.
I don't regret it – the time we had together.
I won't forget it – but we both ended up where we belonged.
I guess, goodbye made us strong.
And yeah, I'm happy.
I found somebody, too, who makes me happy.
And I knew someday I'd see you on the street.
And it'd be bittersweet.
"Baby, stay down!"
My hands froze around the canned cranberries. That voice – it sounded so familiar.
"Lily! Fine, come on."
I blinked. Lily? I could feel my breath get heavier as I stood in that empty isle. The voices were coming from behind the shelves. Slowly, I walked to the edge of my isle and peered into the next.
His back was to me but I could recognize him anywhere.
It was Sebastian.
I saw him pick Lily up from her seat on the cart and carry her on his arms. She looked so big, I'd say four or five years old. I stood at the end of the isle as Lily turned to look at me. Even from here, the hazel in her eyes was so noticeable. She met my gaze and waved at me. Not knowing what to do, I waved back and smiled.
As bad as it was, as bad as it hurt,
I thank God I didn't get what I thought that I deserved.
Sometimes, life leads you down a different road.
When you're holding on to someone that you got to let go.
Someday, you'll see the reason why.
Sometimes, there's good in goodbye.
I debated whether or not to go up to him and say hi. It had been a few years since I'd seen him, surely neither of us was mad at each other anymore. While I stood there debating, I focused on his frame. He was older, he wasn't fat, he was thicker – the way a man is. Had so much time passed since we were both young and stupid? Just as I was going to go up to him, I felt my phone vibrate. As I read it, I saw that it was Jay asking if I was almost back. I sighed and texted him back saying that I was.
I gave Lily a final wave and walked towards the cash register, ready to pay for the groceries and head back. As I got into my car and got ready to leave, I saw Sebastian and Lily reach theirs. For another minute, I debated whether or not to say hi to him but, really, I was leaving back to Austin a day after tomorrow and I didn't see a reason to have each other in our lives. I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath as I turned my ignition and backed up.
One last look in my rearview revealed Lily looking in the direction of my car with Sebastian slowly turning as I drove away.