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After Earth Went Dark: Chapter 3
It was his fault. Elliot knew it was his fault. He wanted to be mad at Tyr for pulling him away, at his mother for not letting him go back, at his sister for not arguing on his side; but deep down, he knew that what had happened to his father was his own fault. And that knowledge hurt more than anything Elliot had ever felt before.
They had spent the entire previous day trying to put as much distance between them and the thugs as possible. Twice, Tyr had split off to `deal' with small groups that had gotten too close. He would simply disappear only to show up several minutes later with fresh blood on his blades or clothing. By the time the sun had finished setting, Tyr seemed to have decided that they were safe for now, and they had made a small camp.
Tyr and their mother had talked in low voices for a while, and Elliot had curled up with his sister. Even the comfort of being so close to her did nothing to ease the grief and guilt he felt. He was even beyond tears, feeling almost like he didn't deserve to cry or to grieve for his father since it was his cowardice that had killed him.
Why didn't he shoot the man? This question rebounded through his mind every few seconds for hours and hours. Tyr had warned him not to hesitate. If he had just done what he had been told, then they all would have made it out safe. Elliot didn't sleep that night.
The next day they moved again but not too far. They set up a camp in the early afternoon and Tyr caught and cooked some squirrels for them. No one talked very much. They were all still shaken.
Elliot sat on the other side of the small fire from his mother and sister. Tyr was sitting against a tree, still finishing his portion of squirrel. Elliot was brooding silently. Blaming himself and hating himself. Wishing he had died instead.
Tyr stood abruptly. He began to walk out of the clearing but stopped next to Elliot.
"Come with me." He instructed, before continuing on his way.
Elliot looked to his mother who shrugged, equally confused. Between rescuing them and the hushed conversation they had had, Tyr had obviously gained her trust. She still, however, had obvious reservations about letting him wander off into the woods with a man she had only met the day before, especially with the grief and loss still so close.
Tyr stopped again and looked over his shoulder.
"Where are you going?" Elliot's mother asked.
It took Tyr a moment to answer as it usually did. He seemed to study her for a second before responding. "Not far. We will return shortly."
Obviously not impressed by this answer, Elliot's mother frowned. Eventually however, she sighed and nodded to Elliot who hopped up and followed; grateful for the distraction from his thoughts.
Tyr led him into the woods about a hundred yards out from the camp site before turning to him and fluidly drawing the knife from his left boot. Elliot flinched and took a step back. Turning the knife over in his hand, Tyr held it out, hilt first, to Elliot.
Cautiously, Elliot reached out and took the knife. It was heavier than it looked, but in a good way that made it feel like a real weapon. He looked back and forth between Tyr and the sharp blade in his hand.
"Make it stick into that tree." Tyr instructed, pointing to a thick trunk several yards away.
It did not look that far away. Elliot thought that it couldn't be that hard. He took a moment to aim, holding the knife the way he had seen Tyr doing it, then lobbed it hard. The knife sank like a stone after only a few feet, sticking straight up in the soft ground. Elliot scowled, embarrassed.
Tyr showed no emotion, but simply bent down to retrieve the knife. As he did, Elliot noticed a long tear in one of his pant legs, with an ugly looking wound underneath.
"You're hurt." He said, more surprised than anything. In the short time he had known him, Elliot had begun to think that Tyr was invincible.
Tyr looked down at his injured leg and shrugged. "It isn't bad." He handed the knife back to Elliot. "Focus. Relax your shoulders."
Elliot tried again. This time the knife almost made it to the tree before taking a dive into the ground. Tyr retrieved it again and this time stood behind Elliot.
"Breathe evenly. Stand up straight." He instructed, placing his strong hands hands on Elliot's shoulders.
Elliot wasn't sure why, but he shuddered a bit on his next inhale. Squaring his shoulders, he drew in a breath before throwing the knife again. It bounced off the tree with a loud thud. Elliot laughed excitedly and looked up at Tyr who nodded his approval.
When Tyr retrieved the knife, he handed it to Elliot and then knelt behind him. Gently he took hold of Elliot's right arm and guided him through the motion.
"Like that." He said, manipulating Elliot's limb once again.
Elliot did not understand why he enjoyed the feeling of Tyr's hand on his arm. He felt a closeness to his protector that he had not felt before. Unconsciously he leaned backward a bit.
"Stand up straight." Tyr ordered, placing a hand in the small of Elliot's back.
Embarrassed, Elliot quickly righted himself. As he did though, he felt the hand on his back slide gently down his spine before pulling away. It had to have been an accident, but it was enough to make him shiver, and distracted him to the point that his next throw went wide and missed the tree altogether.
Tyr cleared his throat before going to get the knife back. "Focus on the throw. Always." He told Elliot as he handed him the knife. This time, Tyr stood back and allowed Elliot to practice on his own. They continued like this for nearly an hour. Each time the knife would either miss the tree, hit with the hilt, or not hit hard enough to stick. After each miss, Tyr offered instruction that Elliot would focus in on. It was frustrating to keep missing, but he did not want to give up. He wanted to make Tyr proud, even though he wasn't fully sure why.
Finally, after dozens of throws and retrievals, Elliot hurled the knife at the tree and the tip of it sank in almost an inch and a half. With a short chopping sound, it vibrated a bit but stuck fast into the tree, about two feet off the ground.
Elliot pumped a fist in the air and cheered. He turned to Tyr and just caught the trace of a smile before his stoic facade returned. That was enough for Elliot though. He had seen the corners of Tyr's mouth move, involuntarily. He knew that his guardian was happy for him.
Suddenly a realization struck him. Ever since Tyr had led him off to practice throwing, his guilt and sorrow had left him almost entirely alone. Recognizing their absence of course brought them back to the forefront of his mind, souring his victory slightly. However, with them came another thought. He realized that Tyr had done this on purpose. The throwing knife exercise had not just been about teaching him to survive. Tyr had purposefully been trying to occupy his mind and body, to relieve him.
Knowing that Tyr not only recognized his suffering but cared enough to do something to ease it brought tears to Elliot's eyes. Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around Tyr's lean torso in a tight hug and began to cry against him.
Startled, Tyr stiffened, but after a moment or two relaxed and put a hand gently on Elliot's back, as the small boy vented his powerful and confused emotions.
Several minutes passed with Elliot clinging to his soft-spoken protection, who though no action at all, radiated strength and confidence. Elliot let out all the pent-up anguish of the past days and they broke on Tyr's comforting stoicism like waves on a rock.
Eventually, Elliot was able to calm himself. He sniffed and looked up at Tyr, who put his hand on Elliot's shoulder. It was impossible to read what was behind the blue-grey eyes, but Elliot thought he saw some kind of emotion deep inside that was guarded carefully. He wondered what it meant.
"We should return." Tyr spoke quietly, removing his hand.
Elliot nodded and the two of them trudged back to the campsite.
It was just beginning to get dark, but Tyr was quickly able to catch and clean a pair of rabbits for them to eat. Now that he knew that Tyr was willing to teach him things, Elliot found himself eager to learn. He did not know if it was just a way to escape from his thoughts, or maybe it was a desire to learn more about this strange man that had entered his life so abruptly. All of this aside, he shied away from learning about the cleaning process; for now, at least. He was not sure that his stomach would handle it well.
While they ate, Elliot's sister Kara finally posed the question that everyone was thinking.
"Now what?"
No one answered for a while, as though they all expected the next person to say something. Finally, their mother spoke up, though her voice was shaky.
"We should continue to your uncle's property." She told them. "It's... what your father would have wanted." The effort she made to keep her voice strong was simultaneously impressive and heartbreaking.
"How?" Kara asked. "We don't know where we are. We don't have the map. We can't go back to the road." She shrugged helplessly.
"Tyr can get us there." Elliot said quietly, and all eyes turned to him. "I mean... if you'll help... again."
Emotionless as usual, Tyr continued to eat his portion of rabbit. The silence stretched on until it seemed like he was not going to answer at all. After slowly chewing and swallowing a bite, Tyr responded with a single gruff word. "Where?"
"North." Elliot's mother told him. "Near the city of Syracuse."
"Syracuse is dead." Tyr said calmly.
"What?" She asked. "What do you mean it's dead?"
Tyr sighed. "Everyone there is either dead or working for people worse than the ones back there."
"He's not in the city though." Elliot's mothing said. "He has a farm. He used to be in the military. He was always planning for something like this."
After a moment of thought, Tyr shrugged. "It's possible."
"Will you help us?" Elliot asked.
Tyr looked at him for a while. Elliot felt like he was being studied closely and looked away. After a while Tyr sighed again. "I'll try."
The group let out a collective sigh of relief. The events of the past days had made it clear to each of them just how much they needed someone like Tyr. Elliot also had to admit that, although he had been unsure of him at first, he had begun to feel an attachment to his quiet guide.
The rest of the night passed by quietly. The mood was still quite somber but having a plan and knowing that Tyr would be with them kept them from despair.
In the morning they were up early and underway. They did not have much of a camp to strike, so it did not take them long to get moving. As Elliot looked at Tyr that morning he noticed a small dusting of stubble beginning to creep in on the edges of his face. He wondered how old Tyr actually was. He had the type of ageless face that could belong to a late teenager or to someone almost ten years older. Elliot wondered if it would be appropriate to ask him but decided he would at least wait until they stopped again.
Tyr laid out a plan for traveling that kept them off most of the main roads. He explained that the thugs probably would not pursue them for long, but that highways and state routes were better to avoid when possible. They would stop in a small town nearby where they could get some supplies, since everything they had been carrying had been taken from them. After that, Tyr had told them about several paths through the Catskill mountain range that they could take.
In the days following the rescue of his family, Elliot had hardly noticed his exhaustion, but now that they weren't constantly on the run it returned in force. That coupled with his barely-contained grief, guilt, and self-doubt made him supremely apathetic. He struggled to keep up with the pace Tyr set, but he was not the only one. It was clear that his sister and their mother were not prepared for such a strenuous trek.
During the evenings, Tyr would often take Elliot aside to help him with his throwing knife skills or teach him new ones. Elliot learned about the best places to stab with a knife, he learned about setting traps, and some of the basics of tracking. One thing that Elliot noticed through all this was that Tyr seemed to end up touching him in some way more frequently.
To be sure, some of the activities needed a guiding hand on a shoulder or arm to help him better understand the motions; but it almost seemed like Tyr would go out of his way to put a hand on him, particularly on his upper arms or even the top of his spine where it was skin-to-skin contact.
This realization made Elliot shiver every time he felt Tyr's touch. He did not know what it meant, or how he felt about it. But he did not think that he wanted it to stop. The attention he received from Tyr helped lift his shattered spirits and made him feel some amount of self-worth again. The subtle touching though made him feel something different though. Something that felt good but wrong. Every time thought, he would push it down and focus on whatever task Tyr was giving him.
They passed through the small town that Tyr had mentioned, and it was strange to see other people. At first Elliot was scared of them. The recent experiences with strangers left him more than a little warry. Eventually though, the fear faded to resentment. These people were going about their lives normally as if nothing was wrong. He was jealous of their peace of mind
Elliot was surprised to see that Tyr had a stash of ammunition and a few small firearms hidden away in his pack. He bartered some of these for three more heavy fur cloaks, more packs, and some supplies. The mountains, he explained, got very cold at night. The heavy furs would keep them warm.
Despite the urging of the other three, Tyr insisted that they not stay in town that night. Instead they made camp several miles outside. Already, as the night started to fall, Elliot noticed a chill in the air. His t-shirt and jeans were meant for the summer weather that he had been expecting, so he was grateful for the cloak Tyr had purchased.
They practiced with throwing knives again that night. After a particularly good through, when Tyr had a hand on Elliot's shoulder, guiding him, Tyr congratulated him before gently allowing his hand to trace down Elliot's spine. Elliot arched his back and gasped quietly, causing Tyr to pull his hand away. Elliot looked up at Tyr's handsome face, but Tyr would not meet his gaze.
Impulsively, Elliot took Tyr's hand and put it back on his shoulder.
Surprised, Tyr searched Elliot's face. A long moment passed, with neither of them knowing what to do. Eventually, Tyr moved his hand slowly to the side of Elliot's neck, caressing his cheek with his thumb.
Elliot felt a rush of emotion and closed his eyes contentedly. He gently nuzzled against his protector's hand. Knowing that Tyr felt this way was... strange. Unexpected. But it also brought other emotions. Elliot felt something like pride, that a man as strong and as attractive as Tyr was interested in him. Above everything else though, he felt safe. He had known since the night that the deer had visited their camp that Tyr would keep him safe, but now he knew why.
He sighed, almost happy for the first time in days. Tyr stepped in close to him and circled his other arm around Elliot's small frame, running a hand through his long hair. Elliot laid his head on Tyr's chest, opening his eyes and admiring Tyr's powerful arms. He wrapped his own much smaller arms around Tyr and squeezed tight. They held each other in silence for a long time.
Finally, Tyr patted his head before separating the two of them. Regretfully, Elliot let Tyr pull away.
"We should... go back." Tyr said in a hoarse whisper.
Elliot blushed as the real world came back to him and nodded, but smiled knowingly up at Tyr as they returned to camp.