Afflecktion

Okay everybody, here it is! The final two chapters of Afflecktion. I'm sorry for the long wait (like usual), but I found that this thing was harder to end than I planned. I've grown quite attached to it over the months. Just to let everyone know, a sequel or spin off in the future is not out of the question, so e-mail me with any thoughts, comments, or opinions at MindPieces samuraisupremo@hotmail.com. Since this is the final installment, I feel I should give thanks where thanks is due. First off I want to thank Allen, the best snatch I know. If it wasn't for his story 'Bad Boy B-Rok', as well as his constant bitching to stop my procrastination, this never would have existed in the first place. I'd also like to thank Jeff, Rick, and Mariette for allowing me to take them and portray them to the best of my ability. You guys mean the world to me. And last, but certainly not least, I have to thank Ben, wherever he may be. For being such a wonderful, beautiful person, and inspiring me to share all my deepest fantasies and desires. I love all you guys. And with those words done, read on!

Afflecktion- Part 9

The buzzing of the alarm woke me up with a start the next morning, causing my eyes to open almost immediately. I reached over and turned off the screeching sound as quickly as possible before collapsing again on to the bed. I looked at the clock: 6 A.M. I'd gone to sleep less than five hours ago, and now I had to get up to prepare for the day when I would go back home. Suddenly falling back to sleep sounded like quite an option.

I rolled over to see if the noise had disturbed Ben's sleep, but to my surprise, he wasn't there. Just a dent in the pillow where his head had been the night before. Maybe this was just a dream after all.

I crawled out of bed, still wearing my briefs from the night before, and walked out of the bedroom to search for him. I checked the bathroom, the kitchen, the front room...not a trace. Unless he was in Matt or Casey's bedroom (which I didn't feel a need to check), he must have gone somewhere. I didn't give much more thought to it as I went in the bathroom and started the shower, knowing he'd be back in two hours so we could leave for the airport.

I came out of the bathroom about forty-five minutes later, fully dressed, washed, shaven, and all that good stuff. I went back in the bedroom, still no sign of Ben or even any clues as to where he might have disappeared to. No notes, just an empty bed in an empty room.

I dragged my empty suitcases out of the closet and went about the wonderful business of packing. It was strange how nothing seemed to fit the same way as when I had arrived. It was like my clothes had multiplied or something. It took another forty-five minutes of fighting with my luggage and cramming all of my belongings in it to finally finish up. I put my suitcases by the bedroom door and sat on the bed, checking the clock one more time: 8:30.

The bedroom looked strange to me now as I glanced around it, with all traces of my stay there packed up in the corner. It didn't look like home anymore, but more like a hotel room waiting to be vacated. My mind wandered and my thoughts trailed, until a minute later when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to see Ben standing there.

"Hey you," I said, smiling as I looked up at him.

"Hey yourself," he replied, sitting on the bed next to me. "I see you got all your packing done and everything."

"Yep," I nodded, trying my best to fake a smile. "And where did you go? Trying to pull another Houdini act on me?"

"Not exactly. I took a walk to the beach and did a lot of thinking," he said as he put his arm around my back. "I didn't sleep too great last night."

"Neither did I," I replied, putting my own arm around him.

"I brought you back a present though. Nothing big really, but it's the best I could think of."

"A present? Now we're talking!" I laughed.

Ben reached in to his pocket and pulled out a small jar, placing it in my hands. I held it up, looking at the contents inside. I wasn't sure if I was wrong on the contents or just missing the meaning...but it looked to be a jar of sand.

"You got me...sand for a present?" I asked, genuinely confused.

"Well, no. I mean yes, it is sand. But it does have significance."

"What is it?"

"Well I was walking along the beach this morning, thinking about how crazy and wonderful these last few weeks have been. I went to that spot where we first made love and I sat there for hours. Before I got up I took this jar and filled it with sand from that spot, so you could take it with you. I thought maybe if you had that and looked at it back home, that it would remind you of all of this. Remind you of me."

I looked back down at the jar, speechless from Ben's explanation.

"You hate it right? It's stupid I know..."

"No it's not stupid. I love it," I whispered, a tear rolling down my cheek. "It's probably the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me."

"You mean that?" Ben asked, breathing a sigh of relief. "I know most guys get a ring or something like that...but it just seemed too conventional. And you've never been the conventional type."

"That's for sure," I said, laughing and wiping the tears from my eyes. "I love you Ben, thank you."

"I love you too David." Ben leaned close, kissing me deeply on the lips as his hand ran along my face, wiping the wetness from my cheek before we pulled apart. "Can I ask you for a favor?"

"Anything, you know that."

"Will you make love to me?" Ben asked, laying down on his back and looking up at me. "One last time before you go."

I smiled and laid my body on top of his, our faces close.

"You really had to ask?"

I leaned down and closed my eyes, pressing my lips to his as our clothed bodies began grinding together. I felt Ben's tongue enter my mouth, probing and exploring until he found my own. I could feel the bulge forming in his jeans as I pressed my crotch harder against his. His hands roamed along my back, finding the bottom of my shirt and pulling it up over my head.

"So much for that good hair day," I said as I sat up, straddling Ben's waist.

"Still looks good to me," he replied, sitting up to kiss me.

"No wait wait wait." I placed my hand on his chest, pushing him down on his back again while I straddled him. "Let me do the work this time okay? You just lay back and relax."

"Are you sure?" he asked, looking up at me with those eyes of his. They still made me want to melt, even after all this time.

"Positive. Now lift up your arms."

Ben did as he was told, lifting up his arms so I could take his shirt and pull it over his head. I leaned down, bringing my lips to his chest, kissing it all over. I stopped at each one of his nipples and took them in my mouth...kissing, sucking, licking them one at a time. I could hear Ben's moans, so close to my ears as I left his nipples and went lower. My lips going down...down...down...

My tongue entered in to his belly button, getting it wet as my mouth neared the waistband of his jeans. Once I came to that barrier I used my hands to unbutton and unzip them, and then began to kiss the outside of Ben's boxers. I could feel his hardness inside, yearning to get out.

"Ohhh David...David you're amazing."

"Lift up your ass Ben, just a little bit."

"Okay," he quickly replied, lifting up and allowing me to pull down his jeans and his boxers. I tossed them on the floor beside the bed, and stared down at his hard, naked body. I could hardly resist him anymore. I stripped off the rest of my clothes and bent down, burying my face and tongue in his pubic hair while he writhed around underneath me.

My mouth opened wide and I took Ben's cock down my throat, causing him to let out a moan that probably could have woken up Matt AND Casey. He ran his hands through my hair as I started an up and down motion, my tongue running along the underside of his eight inches.

"Jesus David...this is like heaven," Ben moaned as he arched his back and let his foot wander into my crotch. I could feel his toes massaging my balls while I sucked him.

After about a minute more of this, when I was sure the both of us were ready to explode, I climbed back up on Ben, kissing him again on the lips and laying on top of him.

"I love this...just feeling you here under me. I wouldn't trade it for anything," I said as I laid my head on his shoulder.

"Neither would I. Not for anything."

I reached over and grabbed the bottle of lube from off the nightstand, opening it as I straddled Ben's waist once again. I poured some in my hand and grabbed his cock, greasing it up while he looked into my eyes. After that I took my finger, pushing it inside my own ass to get it lubed up as well.

I set the lube aside and took Ben's cock, lining it up with my hole as I straddled him. I started to sit down on it very slowly, feeling a little bit of pain mixed with the pleasure.

"You okay?" Ben asked, taking my hand in his. "You sure you want to do this?"

"Definitely sure. I'm just not a pro at this yet, give me a minute."

I took the time and allowed my ass to adjust to the feel of Ben's cock before lowering myself more. Finally, after a bit more work, I could feel it enter all the way in. I started moving myself up and down, slowly at first...relishing the amazing sensation as that secret place inside me was reached.

"Ohhh Ben...ohhh yes."

I started moving myself faster as I leaned down to kiss Ben. Our tongues intertwined, our lips dancing. I felt his hand wrap around my cock and start to stroke me. I knew I wasn't going to last much longer.

"I love you David...I think I'm going to blow pretty soon."

"Me too...do it inside me okay?"

Ben nodded and placed his one free hand on my hip, lifting himself off the bed so he was really pounding me. My body felt like it was a bundle of nerves, with physical, mental, and emotional sensations happening all at once. It was an overwhelming experience.

"Ohhh man...ohhhh David here it comes!"

Ben pulled me down to kiss me just as I felt him begin to unload in my ass. I could feel his warmth shooting deep inside me, and with his hand still stroking me I couldn't take it any longer. I started releasing my own load, drenching Ben's chest, as well as his hand. I collapsed on top of him a moment later, out of breath and completely spent as the intensity of our orgasms died down.

"Does this get better every time or is it just me?" I asked, cracking a smile.

"I think it does," Ben replied, still catching his breath. "Probably because I love you more every day I'm with you."

I rested my head on Ben's chest, wishing I never had to move from that spot. I could have laid there forever.

"I'm going to miss you Ben."

"Hey now," he replied, his hand gently running through my hair. "No goodbyes yet okay? We have a plane to catch."

"You're right. Let's get up."

It took us both about ten minutes to get cleaned up and dressed again, and by that time we only had about two minutes before we had to leave for the airport. I walked out of the room with my suitcases in tow, wondering if Matt and Casey would be up yet. They weren't wandering around in the front room, so I decided to go check their bedrooms so I could say my goodbyes.

I went to Casey's door first, knocking a couple times. There was no response, so I opened the door slowly and crept in where I could see Casey asleep on the bed.

"Hey stud, wake up," I said as I shook him, trying to get him to open his eyes. "Waaaaaake up..."

A moment later he rolled over and opened his eyes slowly, looking up at me.

"Is it that time already?" he muttered.

"Yep, it's about eight o'clock."

Casey sat up next to me on the bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"I've never really been good with goodbyes," he said, giving me a smile. "This has been a crazy few weeks though huh?"

"To say the least, yeah."

"So can I get a hug from my future brother-in-law or what?"

"Yeah of course," I said with a laugh before wrapping my arms around him. "It's been great getting to know you. Thanks for being so good to me and everything."

"Well it was easy. Ben doesn't get involved with just anyone, so I knew you must be pretty special from the get go. I was right."

"Thanks," I replied, breaking the hug slowly and standing back up. "You might as well go back to sleep...that way you don't have quite the hangover when you wake up."

"Yeah, thanks for your concern," he said with a laugh before lying back down. "Make sure to call okay? I want to know how you're doing."

"I definitely will. See ya Casey."

"Bye David."

I left Casey's room and shut the door behind me before walking across the hall to Matt's. I knocked, and was surprisingly greeted with a response.

"Come on in."

I opened the door slowly and saw Matt sitting on the bed in his boxers. I could tell he had been waiting for me to stop by.

"Hey there," I said as I walked in and took a seat on the bed.

"Hey," Matt replied with a smile. "So this is it huh?"

"Yep," I nodded. "I guess so."

"Listen David...I'm sorry how everything started out between us. And for all the lies and confusion..."

"That's all water under the bridge Matt, there's no need to apologize. I feel like we're practically family by now, don't worry about it."

"Well okay, that's a relief. I'm going to miss you a lot though...and Ben I worry about."

"Why?" I asked, sounding concerned.

"I just don't know how he'll handle it when you leave. He might take it pretty hard."

"Well that's what you're here for Matt. You're his best friend, take good care of him for me."

"I will, I promise."

"I'll call, maybe even visit again. This isn't goodbye forever right?"

"It better not be."

Even after assuring Matt of this, it still wasn't something I knew to be true. Our paths could completely split after I left. Ben might find someone else. I didn't know what to expect.

"So give me a hug already," I said, opening my arms wide. Matt came close and wrapped his arms around me, and we stayed just like that for at least thirty seconds or so.

"I love you David, I mean that. You're a great friend."

"I love you too Matt. But you have to do one thing for me after I go."

"What's that?" he asked as we separated.

"Give Rick a call or I'll come back and kick your ass," I replied with a laugh.

"My pleasure," Matt smiled. "He seems like a great guy. Nice of you to set me up like that."

"It's the least I can do for a friend. Besides, I need practice so I can be the future host of Love Connection."

"That's definitely a job to aspire to."

"I think so too," I said as I stood up from the bed. "In case that whole Oscar nomination thing doesn't work out."

"I'll see ya soon David," Matt said, getting up and walking me to his bedroom door. "Keep in touch okay?"

"I will. See ya Matt."

I heard the bedroom door close behind me as I walked out in to the front room where Ben was waiting.

"I already loaded the suitcases in the jeep. Are you ready?" he asked, grabbing my hand and holding it.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

Ben opened the front door and lead me outside into the warm morning air. I took one last look behind me, like I wanted to look inside the house one last time so I could remember what it looked like down the road. I grabbed the knob and pulled the door shut, walking away from the house and hopping in the jeep. It was time to go.

"So exactly what is the plan?" I asked, about twenty minutes into our drive to the airport.

"Well I'm flying to Vegas with you, first class. Then after we land there, I'm catching a plane back to L.A., with a layover of about twenty minutes or so. That way I'll know you're safe and everything."

"You're not going to get airsick or hyperventilate on me or anything right?" I asked with a smile.

"I'm not THAT bad. I just get a little shaky. It can't be more nerve wracking than that first night I asked you out," he laughed.

"You were nervous that night? Could have fooled me."

"Yeah, nervous isn't even a big enough word. I'd never approached a guy like that before, I didn't know what the hell I was doing."

I couldn't help but smile sitting there, thinking back to that first night and how I had literally thrown myself in front of Ben to get his attention. I took his hand and held it in my own.

"You think YOU were nervous, try being asked out to drinks by the hottest celebrity on the planet. I could have shit myself."

"Oh, so that's what that smell was?"

"Shut up and drive," I retorted, smacking Ben's arm lightly.

We arrived at the airport about ten minutes later, and went through the thrill rides known as finding a parking space and getting my baggage checked in. It was a bit surreal for me to be in such a massive public place with Ben, since we'd mainly spent time at the house, on the set, or in clubs. He was approached for autographs twice before we even got to the baggage claim, and he complied easily, turning on that charm for each and every fan. I could still remember the time when I thought of him just like they did: a huge, out of reach movie star. It's a shame that the majority of people would never know how much more to him there actually is.

We got on the plane about ten minutes before departure time, which actually turned into a twenty minute wait, since nothing can ever leave when it's scheduled to. Finally the captain announced that we would be taking off, and the plane started on it's path down the runway.

"You okay?" I asked, looking over at Ben to make sure he hadn't passed out on me yet.

"Oh yeah sure. Where did that flight attendant say the emergency exits were again?"

"Calm down." I couldn't help but laugh at Ben's fear...I even sort of found it cute in a way. "You won't need the emergency exits."

"What about this seat? It's a floatation device right?" He tried pulling up on the cushion of the seat, to make sure it would come with him if there was a water landing.

"Ben, there is no ocean between L.A. and Las Vegas the last time I checked. Unless we crash in the swimming pool of The Mirage I don't think you'll need it."

"Okay you're right. I'm just going to close my eyes now, tell me when take off is done with."

The take off was a success, and I even managed to get Ben to open his eyes for a while during the ninety minute flight. We didn't talk all that much, considering that there were people around us, and neither of us really knew what to say anyway. All I knew was that I never wanted the plane to land. I couldn't just walk off, say goodbye, and then go back to my life as I had left it, like nothing had ever happened. Everything was different now. Everything had changed.

Ben held his eyes shut again and grasped my hand as the plane finally descended. I offered him the airsick bag and told him he better hold on to his floatation device, but I don't think he found it very amusing at the time. Once the plane touched down he was fine, and he was even kind enough to allow some circulation back into my lower arm. We skidded to a stop at the gate, and were two of the first off the plane, ahead of all the coach passengers.

"How long until your flight back?" I asked as we walked away from the crowd of people awaiting their friends and family.

"Ten minutes," Ben replied, checking his watch. "Let's just ummm...find someplace private around here okay?"

"Sure."

We kept walking, Ben ducking his head whenever crowds walked by so he wouldn't get mobbed for autographs. We found a nice spot near one of the gates where people sit and watch out the window as the planes go by. No one was even remotely in sight, so we both stopped, standing by the window.

At first we just looked at each other, neither of us saying a word. I didn't know where to start, what to say. I could feel the tears welling up in me already.

"Come here," Ben said, wrapping his arms around me and holding me tight. I returned the hug just as strongly. We stayed like that, clenched in silence, for a matter of minutes.

Ben leaned his lips close to my ear, without warning, and started singing. Not loudly, but just enough so I could hear.

"All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go. I'm standing here outside your door. I hate to wake you up to say goodbye..."

I immediately recognized it as 'Leaving on a Jet Plane', the same song he had sang in Armageddon. That's when I lost it, the tears started flowing as I stood there, holding him for dear life.

"So kiss me and smile for me...tell me that you'll wait for me. Hold me like you'll never let me go. Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane...I don't know when I'll be back again. Ohhhh babe, I hate to go."

I looked up at Ben and saw the tears in his eyes as he finished. We were both beyond caring if anyone saw us at that moment. It was ours.

"I love you Ben. I don't know if I can ever thank you enough for all that you've given me. I just feel like...Jesus..." I trailed off, the tears overwhelming me again.

"Like you can't say it enough," he continued.

"Right," I whispered.

"I'll wait for you forever if I have to David. Until your done with school, until your old and gray if that's what it takes. And I'm always going to remember you as beautiful as you are today. You know the funny part?"

"What?" I asked, my voice cracking.

"You thought you had to throw yourself in front of me that night," he responded, his own voice cracking as he started to cry more. "But I couldn't have missed you for the world. Even in a crowd of two hundred people."

Suddenly I heard the last call for Ben's flight come over the intercom. It was like the final blow to my heart at that moment.

"That's for me," he said slowly.

"I know," I replied, breaking our hug and standing in front of him. "So this is it huh?"

"You'll call me right?" he asked, still crying. "Promise me you will."

"I promise."

"God David..." he walked over to me and gave me a long kiss on the lips. I kept my eyes open the entire time, afraid to close them and reopen them, only to realize that he wasn't there anymore.

"Don't go Ben," I blurted out between my sobs. One final, pointless, desperate attempt to delay the inevitable.

"I have to. I love you."

"I love you too, more than anything."

"So close your eyes now for me. And open them when I'm gone."

I nodded my head and closed my eyes slowly, the wetness still streaming down my face. I felt one last kiss touch my lips, and then I stood there. I must have stood with my eyes closed for an eternity, but in reality it was only about three minutes or so. I was terrified to open them. Terrified to not see him there with me.

I opened my eyes. He was gone.

"Goodbye Ben," I whispered to myself. I sat down in the nearest chair, the tears not stopping as the planes took off in the distance outside the window.

Afflecktion Part 10

I found Mariette waiting for me in the airport parking garage about thirty minutes later, after I picked up my luggage from the baggage claim. She seemed happy to see me, and I tried to give her the best forced smile that I could, but it was hopeless. I hardly said two words to her the entire ride to my apartment. One thing that I loved about Mariette was that we had known each other long enough to know when we didn't want to talk about something. She knew not to press the issue that was on my mind, and it made the ride home much easier.

The days passed slowly that week, until Monday rolled around and school started back up. I also had to go back to work again that same day, back to the world of checking in the tourists at the Hard Rock Hotel. I didn't want to get out of bed that morning, which really made it no different from the previous nights I had been sleeping alone. I just didn't feel like going out and facing the world...but I knew it was something I'd have to do eventually.

Days turned into weeks as life went back to "normal", once again revolving around work, school, and friends like it always had before. I felt like a totally different person on the inside, walking around in a world that I knew nothing about anymore. I thought maybe the feeling would pass once I got back into the swing of things, but the problem stuck with me, even after three weeks away from L.A. I wasn't sleeping well, I wasn't eating right, but nobody really seemed to notice. Nobody at work or school mentioned anything, and if Mariette did, she was still following our code of conduct about avoiding the touchy topics.

I spent quite a few nights lying in my room, doing nothing but staring at the jar Ben had given to me. It was a beautiful reminder of what we had, and each time I would sit and sift through those memories I would start staring at the telephone, wondering if I should pick it up. I hadn't called Ben since I'd been back, or Jeff and Rick for that matter. Part of me said that not calling was the right thing to do...to just put the past behind me and try to move on and reshape my life. Yet another part of me conflicted with that, telling me to call because I missed him, and talking to him would make everything easier. It was like my mind versus my heart...and for one of the first times in my life I was listening to my mind instead.

I'd noticed that Ben also hadn't tried to call me, which was probably for the better. I was sure he was moving on, hanging out with Matt and Casey and getting back into his acting. It made me feel better to think of him that way, to convince myself that he was happy. It was sure a hell of a lot better than thinking he was feeling the same way I was.

A month had passed, and as September weaned it's way into October things were getting a little easier. I was able to concentrate more on school and work, and even able to truly enjoy myself going out and hanging around with Mariette. The only times I had trouble was when I'd see Ben on Entertainment Tonight, or read about him somewhere in Entertainment Weekly. I also read in there that 'Twisted Innuendo' was set for a release date of November 26th...just in time for the Oscars.

Just as the hole inside me was slowly starting to mend, everything changed again. Mariette and I had just went to the movies and out to dinner, our typical Friday outing. She was driving me home and we were bobbing our heads along, singing to the radio like we always did. It was an addiction we both shared...if we didn't sing off key to every song we loved we'd probably go into withdrawals and keel over.

I was having a great time, bellowing along to Sugar Ray's "Every Morning", a personal favorite of mine. The song faded to an end, and the instant the next song started I knew I was in trouble. This was just my luck...stuck in the car with Mariette when "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" comes on the radio. I went silent, turning my head and staring out the car window, not wanting her to be able to read the thoughts that were going through my mind. The memories were all coming back in a rush as the music continued...the floodgates had been opened.

About halfway through the song, while we were stopped at a stoplight, Mariette did a sudden U-turn, going in the direction opposite my house. I didn't have a clue what she was doing, so I decided to speak up and ask.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see," she replied nonchalantly. "You don't need to be home right away do you?"

"No...I guess not."

The song faded out as we continued our mystery drive into the heart of Las Vegas. After about twenty minutes I realized we were getting close to the downtown area, which couldn't possibly be farther from my destination at home.

"Do you plan to tell me what you're doing? Or are you just kidnapping me?" I asked sarcastically.

"I told you you'll see, just sit back for five more minutes."

I did as she asked, sitting back and zoning out again while I looked out the window. I was completely spaced a few minutes later when I noticed that the car had stopped. We were at the Hard Rock Hotel.

"You're taking me to my work? This is my big surprise?" I asked, completely confused. Mariette knew that I enjoyed going to the Hard Rock after work about as much as she loved eating breakfast at IHOP on her free time.

"Yep, this is it. Great huh?" she replied, smiling at me.

"Okay, what's going on? Have you lost it?"

"No, but it's about time I talked to you about something. Any objections to that?" I watched as she lost her smile and her face grew more serious.

"No...go ahead," I said slowly. She let out a sigh to prepare herself before she let out her words.

"Well to put it simply, you're driving me crazy. I love you like a brother, you know that, but YOU are driving me NUTS."

"I am? Why?" A look of confusion fell over my face... I wasn't sure if she was angry with me or simply exasperated.

"Let me explain. I've known you for years David, since junior high or so. And ever since that time, even before I knew you were gay, there was like this..." she hesitated. "A sadness to you. Even when you were your happiest, I could always see something lacking. And as much as I hated seeing you like that, I eventually grew accustomed to it, realizing it was part of who you were."

"Okay...where is it you're going with this exactly?" I asked, genuinely curious about the point of her psych analysis.

"Well it was obvious that what was missing was a guy. I knew that and you knew it too. You weren't built to face this world by yourself David...some people can and some people can't. But you were never whole during all these years...searching for that person and never finding him, no matter how many dates you went on. It left you even emptier each time."

"Right, that's exactly how it felt," I replied slowly.

"And then, BAM, you go to California, and on that first phone call you make home, you blew me away. I didn't know what it was at first, but you were different. It wasn't obvious enough for anyone to notice, but I could hear it in your voice. You were happy David. I mean REALLY happy. Not just that 'two hours until the Backstreet Boys concert is over' kind of happy. The real thing."

"And....?" I sat there listening intently as Mariette hurdled over the line of touchy topics, and for once it didn't really bother me.

"Well another thing that both of us know is that you're terrified of commitment. For all your talking and wishing about finding the right guy, you were always scared to death to give anyone a fair chance. You'd always ditch them after one date, convinced they weren't right, running in the other direction as quickly as possible. Making yourself vulnerable to someone else was too much for you to handle. So now, here I come with my point."

"Go for it," I replied.

"I think the reason you let yourself get close to Ben is because you KNEW it would end in three weeks. In some subconscious section of your brain, that was your safety net. Open up to him all you want, then it'll end in three weeks, and no scary future to worry about. No fears to face. Well...as your best friend...it's my job to tell you that's bullshit."

"Bullshit?" I asked, wondering how she had managed to lay my subconscious down on the table so easily.

"Complete bullshit. You left Ben because you were scared, because coming back to your life was the easiest thing to do. I think Ben was scared for you to stay too. But if you love him, and I KNOW you do, because I see it written all over your face every second of the day...if you love him, you'd be willing to face those fears."

"I DO love him Mariette...not a second goes by every day when I don't think about him. But what am I supposed to do? It's too late. Whatever my reasons were, I LEFT. That's that."

"It's NOT too late," she barked back at me, trying to get some sense in to my head. "It's never too late for love David, Jesus. Why are you thinking about everything all of a sudden? You've done everything with your heart since I've first known you...and it's what you're going to do now. What does your heart tell you to do?"

I thought for a moment, knowing exactly what my heart was saying. But my mind kept telling me it was ridiculous.

"It tells me I should go back...I should run back as fast as I can and never let him out of my arms again. But that's insane...life isn't a romantic comedy you know."

"Life can be whatever you want it to be, and that's why we're here."

"I don't follow you," I stated, looking at the hotel towering in front of us.

"You're going to go in there and quit your job. After that, you're taking a trip to the college and dropping out. Then you're going home, saying goodbye to your family, packing your shit into your car and getting the hell out of this town."

"WHAT?" I replied, completely shocked. "You're insane! I can't do that. It's already a month into the semester, and you just want me to drop everything and flee the city?"

"All you have to do is tell the registrar at the school that you're moving out of town on an emergency, and that you'd like to be able to have your credits transferred out of state next semester. It's not terribly difficult, and there ARE colleges in California last time I checked."

I sat there looking at her, trying to contemplate all that she was telling me. At first the idea seemed ridiculous. But now...when I thought about it more...

"Stop being scared David. You're my best friend, and I've sat by for weeks watching the pain you're going through. That's why I told you that you're driving me nuts...I see you wallowing in your misery every day and doing nothing about it. So this is what you're doing about it. Go back to him."

"But what about you? I don't want to leave you behind."

"I'll be fine," she replied, smiling. "I'll miss you like hell, but knowing you're happy will be good enough for me. There is one condition though."

"What's that?" I asked, finally resigned to Mariette's idea. It was time for life to get a little crazy.

"I better get a ticket to the Oscars when you get nominated. And your movie premiere. AND a date with Brad Pitt wouldn't hurt either."

"That's like three conditions," I said, laughing.

"Whatever. Now get off your ass and go tell your boss you're leaving. Tell him he can forward your last check to California."

I nodded and rushed out of the car as fast as I could, running inside to tell my boss the news. He didn't seem to understand, especially since I couldn't give him any good reason for why I was quitting. But it didn't matter to me who understood my actions anymore. Mariette was right...life is too short to play it safe, it was time to put it all on the line.

During the remainder of the day we drove around, stopping at the school so I could speak to the registrar. The lady told me that it was no problem, emergencies happen all the time, and that it'd be possible to transfer my previously earned credits to almost any university of my choice. With that hurdle jumped over, we went back to my house to get everything packed.

I couldn't believe how fast everything was moving, and even though doubts crept into my mind, I made sure to keep them at bay. It took the two of us till about midnight to pack all of my major belongings and stuff them in the car. After that we had to break out the map and find the easiest route from Vegas to California, since I was clueless as to how to drive there. Mariette crashed at my apartment after all our work, and we didn't wake up until nearly eleven the next morning.

I hopped in the shower and got ready quickly, feeling scared and excited at the same time. I had to call my parents and tell them I was moving out of state, and needless to say they weren't thrilled with the idea. Neither of them knew I was gay, so I just explained that I had found an acting job while visiting Jeff and Rick and that I was going to pursue a career in the field. It wasn't exactly a lie, just not the whole truth. They bitched me out for about fifteen minutes before realizing that they couldn't stop me, so then they wished me good luck.

It was around one in the afternoon when I went out to my car with Mariette behind me, ready to face the world. This was perhaps the single most terrifying thing I had ever done.

"So...you have everything?" Mariette asked as I stood by the driver's side door.

"I think so. The place is cleaned out with the exception of the furniture, so that must be everything. I paid the landlord this month's AND next month's rent...I guess I'm ready."

"So this is it huh?" she asked.

"I don't know what this is exactly. I mean...what if he's found someone else by now?"

"Doubtful," she retorted, not hesitating for a second.

"What if the acting thing falls through and I go broke? Or what if Ben is pissed at my 'drop everything and run to California' attitude?" The doubts were starting to come at a quicker pace now that I was actually standing outside my car, ready to go.

"David, that's why it's a risk. These are chances you have to take. If worst comes to worst, you just drive your ass back home."

"Yeah...you're right. You know Mariette...I really don't know how to thank you. I'm a stubborn bastard sometimes, and I need to thank you for helping me realize what an idiot I was being."

"Well that's my job. I know you better than you know yourself David...and I like to use my knowledge to your advantage," she said with a laugh.

"I love you girl," I said as I gave her a hug. "I'll try to arrange that date with Brad if you don't find a Tasty boy of your own soon."

"I love you too," she said, breaking away. "And I'll take a date with Brad even if I have a man, so don't worry about that."

I smiled, opening the car door and getting inside, putting the key in the ignition.

"You're sure I shouldn't call him first?" I asked, stalling a little bit.

"No! Throw caution to the wind, you'll thank me for it later."

"Okay, you better be right. See you soon."

"Bye David."

I drove off after that, watching in my rear view mirror as Mariette waved me off. If there was one person who always believed in me it was her...even when I didn't believe in myself.

The drive to California took me about six hours, and that includes the time I spent lost on the insane Los Angeles freeways. I was a whirlwind of emotions during the entire journey. I just prayed that Ben would be happy to see me, that everything would work out, and that this idea wasn't as completely insane as it seemed.

I saw Ben's beach house in the distance just as the sun was beginning to go down, around seven o'clock that evening. I pulled up in the driveway, noticing that his jeep was missing, and there were no other vehicles in sight. With my luck he probably moved out, I thought to myself.

I got out of my car and went up to the door, knocking and ringing the bell. No answer. He was probably just working, or maybe out with Matt. Or maybe out on a date...or maybe out on a date with Matt! No no no, those weren't the thoughts I wanted to be thinking.

I decided to take a walk down the beach to calm my nerves, searching for that exact spot where we had first shared ourselves with each other. I was carrying the jar of sand in the pocket of my shorts...a constant reminder as to why I was making this journey in the first place.

I found our special spot and sat down in the sand, looking out over the ocean and watching the sunset. It was a beautiful sight...so tranquil and peaceful. I managed to lose myself in my thoughts for at least ten minutes or so...until suddenly, I heard a voice behind me.

"David?"

I turned. There was Ben, standing there in shorts and a tank top with a look of shock on his face. I thought that I also saw a little bit of confusion...and maybe even happiness...in that same expression.

"Hi Ben," I replied, standing up and wiping the sand from my back. "Long time no see huh?"

He walked over to me quickly, wrapping his arms around me and holding me tight. I closed my eyes and hugged him back, suddenly feeling all my worries and doubts wash away.

"What are you doing here? I never thought I'd hear from you again...you hadn't called..." he trailed off.

"I know, I'm sorry for that. I just sort of had this crazy idea...and I decided that I wasn't going to let you go."

He pulled away, that beautiful smile on his face as he grabbed my hand and we sat down in the sand.

"Jesus I missed you so much," he said, leaning close to me. "I was a wreck while you were gone."

"That makes two of us," I smiled.

"So what about school? And work? And your friends...your family...everything we discussed?" Ben's expression became more serious as he asked me this, which is the part I was most worried about.

"Just let me explain. I talked to the registrar at school, she said I can have my credits transferred out here. So I can start school again in the spring. I quit my job, it was no big deal. If the acting thing doesn't work out I can always flip burgers or something, I don't care. Said goodbye to my family. And as for friends...well, Mariette is the one who talked me into this in the first place. So if you want to be mad, blame her."

"I think I'll call her up and thank her actually," Ben said, his smile beaming. "So you're telling me you dropped your entire life to move out here and be with me?"

"Basically yes. Pretty crazy huh?"

"Insane actually. How like you," he laughed. "You saved my ass doing it though."

"How's that?" I asked.

"Cause I was about ready to jump on a plane and head to Vegas by myself...and I'm afraid the takeoff would have killed me," he laughed.

"I can see the headline: 'Actor Hyperventilates to Death Before Plane Take Off.'"

"Yeah, wouldn't that be classic?" he replied, both of us laughing our asses off at the thought. "I do have some news of my own actually," Ben said, catching his breath.

"Oh shit, what is it?" I asked, my mind immediately jumping to the worst possibilities. "Did you meet someone? Get married? What?" The paranoia was taking over for me once more.

"No no no," Ben said, laughing. "Nothing even close to that. First off, Matt and Rick are getting along great. They've been going out on the town almost every night. I don't think I've ever seen Matt so happy. He comes back home and tells me these stories about how Rick did this and Rick did that...Rick was so funny, and he wore this and that. And he keeps the goofiest grin on his face the entire time, it's something you have to see."

"Aha! So my job as future Love Connection host is a lock," I said, laughing at the thought of Matt in his lovestruck haze.

"Looks like it Chuck. And one more thing."

"What is it?"

"I broke it off with Gwyneth," he blurted.

"What do you mean broke it off?" I asked, slightly confused.

"Well I didn't actually break anything off. We're still great friends, just like always. But I decided we should tell the press we're breaking up...it'll be all over the papers in a few days."

"You didn't have to do that," I replied.

"I know. But our arrangement wasn't fair to her...she wants to date guys, and as long as we're linked together she's not allowed that. Plus I'm sort of sick of all the deception. I'm certainly not bursting out of the closet anytime soon...but I think I'll let them paint me as a swinging bachelor for a while."

"Bachelor is fine, but you better be doing all your 'swinging' with me," I said, smiling.

"Mmmmm...my pleasure," Ben replied, leaning close and waiting for a kiss.

"Oh wait, one last thing," I interrupted, reaching into my pocket.

"What?"

I pulled out the jar of sand, and held it up, admiring it as Ben looked on. I opened the lid, and tipped it...pouring the sand out in between us and emptying the container.

"I don't think I'll need the memory anymore," I smiled.

"Not when you have the real thing," Ben replied, putting his arm around me. "So can I get my kiss now?" he asked, giving me a sly smile. "I've been waiting over a month."

"You can get a lot more than that," I smiled, leaning close to Ben and pressing my lips to his.

We laid down in the sand, watching the stars as they began peeking out in the nighttime sky. We made love underneath them and I stayed in Ben's arms that entire night, just as I had the first time we met each other. Only this time there was no time limit, no home to rush back to. I was home right there in his arms...and this was forever.

THE END