Affirmation 4
Thanks to everyone who wrote. It means a lot that you're enjoying this story. Keep writing so I know if I should continue! silentkid@angelfire.com Thanks, Amber
disclaimer: This story involves homosexuality. If you shouldn't read it for reasons of age, law, or morality, then don't. This is just a story. The people portrayed may or may not be gay in reality. I am not implying anything either way.
Check out my other story "You Needed Me" which is nothing like this one if you feel like it. On to part 4...
In the morning Darren tried to get up like he usually did--without opening his eyes. He found he couldn't. Something was weighing him down. After an instance of panic, he saw that Robbie's arm was stretched across his chest. The rest of Robbie slept peacefully a few inches away, not touching him at all, with his head turned to the wall. It was just the arm, obviously there because of some unconscious flinging. Robbie's hand hung innocently over Darren's side, only touching him if Darren took a deep breath. Darren laid in bed a while longer. He didn't feel like moving now. He imagined Robbie must be uncomfortable laying like that. His arm would be sore when he woke up and he wouldn't know why. He tentatively touched Robbie's bicep. It flinched. Darren put his whole hand on his forearm, just laid it there, no particular reason for it. He just felt like it. Robbie had a coughing fit. Darren snatched his hand away. Robbie rolled over onto his back. As he did so, his arm slid off Darren. He rolled onto his side and brought his knees up to his chest. His hands clutched the blankets to his chin. Darren sat up and looked at his new friend. Whatever it was in Robbie's room that kept him coming back, he was thankful for it and the chance to see Robbie like this--quiet, angelic, adorable... Darren knew he was one of the few people to see this side of him, and he felt blessed.
In the night Robbie had pulled all the covers over to his side of the bed. He was tangled in them now. Somehow he had managed to cover his legs and his front all the way up to his head leaving his back uncovered. Robbie shivered. Darren gently tugged at the blanket to cover him properly. Robbie's shirt had ridden up just a little so the small of his back was visible between it and the waistband of his shorts. Darren smiled when he noticed. It was a sweet little smile because he found something endearingly innocent about it, especially since Robbie slept so peacefully. He was moved by this revelation and leaned down and softly kissed Robbie on his head, just above his ear. Robbie didn't move. He pulled the blanket over his back and got up. He knew he wouldn't say anything to Robbie about the kiss. He might not understand that there wasn't anything sexual in it. It just struck him as the appropriate thing to do at the time.
When Darren came back into the room after his shower, Robbie was up. He sat on the end of the bed watching television. He turned around and announced,
"Sally Jesse's got pregnant drag kings and the men who love them!"
"Cool." Darren was trying vainly to pull his shorts on without dropping his towel. He hadn't expected Robbie to be awake, so he opted for the towel instead of the robe when he exited the bathroom. Although he was naked in front of Daniel all the time, he felt self conscious in front of Robbie. He put his shirt on immediately so Robbie wouldn't get a good look at his chest. He could see that Robbie was too engrossed in the tv to care that he was taking such precautions, but this didn't lessen the urgency he felt to get into his clothes. Once he was into his jeans, he laid down on the bed next to Robbie to watch the show.
"Are you rehearsing today?"
"No. I'm free all day. You've got your wedding, right?" Robbie said.
"Yeah, it's at 2. You could come if you want. Should be fun."
"Do I have to dress up?"
"Of course," said Darren.
"I'll think about it. I don't know what I'm doing today."
"Did I tell you Stephen's singing in it?" Maybe that would get him to come.
"No. He knows your cousins?"
"They asked him yesterday after they met and he said yes."
"Stephen's a good guy," Robbie said.
"Yeah. Look, I'm a bit hungry. I'm gonna grab some breakfast downstairs."
"I'll be down in a tick. I want to finish the show."
"Aren't you supposed to stay away from addictive substances?"
Robbie grinned. "Mum says I'm unnaturally susceptible."
"See you later then."
"See you," Robbie said. He stopped him as Darren reached the door, "how was I last night?"
"Pardon?" Darren asked, uncertain if he heard correctly.
"I mean, did I disturb you too much, kick you or hog the covers or anything?"
"You had all the covers," Darren replied honestly. "But I don't remember being kicked. Just cold."
"Sorry. I'll do better next time."
"Well I should hope so," Darren said, smiling, though his stomach had just hit his foot. Walking down the hall he pondered this. 'Next time'? Was he becoming Robbie's new Mark? The official Take That book said that Robbie spent all his time in Mark's room because Mark mothered him. Or had Robbie just given up on having a peaceful night in his own room?
Downstairs, he bought a pint of orange juice-Tropicana Homestyle- and a bagel from the shop. He took it to the furniture in the lobby where he found the others already sprawled. He sat on the couch next to Stephen. J sat on the other side of him. Ronan sat in the chair and Shane was perched on one of the arms.
"Hiya, guys," Darren said.
"Hiya," they all responded. Stephen smiled at him.
"We should be at the church at 1, right?" he asked.
"Right."
J leaned up and mumbled something at Darren, a question of some type. Darren nodded.
"Well, if you think we'll have time to do that," Stephen said to him.
Darren shrugged. Do what? He wanted to shake J, yell, "speak clearly, for the love of God! Diction, lad, diction!!"
"Whatever you think," Darren said, taking the easy way out.
"If we go now, there's plenty of time," Shane said from his perch.
"Alright. I do love the park in the morning. I could use a stroll, anyway," said Stephen.
A ha! A walk in the park. That's what this was about. Darren agreed readily. "Are you coming, Ronan?" he asked, looking at him fully for the first time.
Ronan's eyes darted quickly, almost imperceptibly, to each of them before he answered. "Sure." Darren noticed his eyes were a bit red. Maybe he hadn't slept last night.
"It's all settled, then," Shane said.
"What is?" asked Robbie, coming up on their left.
"A morning in the park," Darren answered.
"Cool," said Robbie. He bent down to kiss J good morning. J whispered something in his ear. Robbie said,
"I don't care that this is America. This is how I say good morning, wherever I am!" Robbie declared loudly.
Shane stifled a laugh. Stephen got a kiss and a short hug which he returned graciously. He didn't kiss Darren, instead pointed at him with his fingers in the shape of a gun and said cockily, "I already said good morning to you." Darren started to smile timidly, but before he could decide the proper way to react, Robbie had air kissed Shane and moved on to Ronan. He brushed his lips against Ronan's cheek. Peering into his eyes, Robbie squinted a bit.
"Have you been crying, Ro?" he asked.
"I...had a bad night," Ronan answered, avoiding Robbie's gaze.
Robbie laid a hand on his knee. "Is there anything I can do?"
Ronan stared at the hand. His neck twitched. He was obviously trying not to look at one of them, or perhaps all of them, and he hesitated a fraction before saying, "I'm fine."
"Okay," Robbie said softly. He knew not to press it. He stood. "Right. When are we going, then?"
"Right now!" Stephen said. "We have to get back for a wedding."
"Follow me, lads!" Robbie announced, marching determinedly out the door. He made it three steps before realizing he didn't have the first clue how to get to Central Park. Ronan took over. He led them expertly and soon they were strolling along the west side. Stephen separated himself from the rest of them. His mouth moved rapidly as his head slowly bobbed back and forth, absorbing every bird and squirrel he passed. Curious, Darren caught up with him. Stephen smiled at him and continued his vocal warm up. Darren smiled back, glad Stephen wasn't talking to himself. New York had that effect on people. One day you're relatively normal, the next you're on a corner babbling to no one.
"It's gonna be fun today," Stephen said.
"Can't wait," Darren said, only half lying. "Especially since I'm not singing."
"That's the best part," Stephen said, joking with him.
Darren mock glared at him. Stephen added, "But you'll have ample opportunity to show off at the reception." He started singing, "I Knew I Loved You" and freaked Darren with how similar he sounded to him.
"Shoot, you sound just like me!"
Stephen grinned mischeviously and went back to his warm ups. Darren looked for the others, all spread out now. Ronan walked alone on the grass. His hands buried in his pockets, and his feet trudging heavily, his head bent to the ground seeing nothing but the grass directly before him.
Robbie and Shane were laughing over something ahead of them. Robbie's hand brushed Shane's once, twice, before grabbing it. Shane pulled his hand away and lightly slapped Robbie's arm. Although he couldn't see his face, Darren could tell from the way he turned his head that Robbie was smiling. He grabbed Shane's hand again. This time Shane let him hold it for a minute before he pulled away. Robbie rubbed Shane's head viciously with his freed hand, mussing up Shane's immaculate hair. Shane yelled out "Oi!" and shoved Robbie. He nearly fell off the sidewalk, but regained his balance and came back at Shane, laughing. Shane grabbed Robbie's shoulders from behind and jumped on his back. Robbie wrapped his arms around Shane's legs and took off running for the nearest tree with both Shane and himself laughing hysterically. Robbie pretended to slam Shane against the tree until he yelled "uncle" and Robbie let him down. Robbie gave Shane a peck on the lips and they ran back to the sidewalk, Shane rubbing his mouth furiously.
Darren watched the whole display in a combination of wonder and disbelief. "Did you see that?" he asked Stephen.
"They're always like that," Stephen said.
"Are they a couple?" Darren asked, fearing the answer.
"You know how affectionate Robbie is," Stephen said.
Darren nodded, realizing for the second time that Stephen was an expert at dodging a question. And what did that mean? You know? Did Stephen know that Robbie and he were sharing a room? How could he? Darren's head spun in confusion. He wished he knew Robbie well enough to goof off with him like that, or even with Stephen.
J ran up to Darren and pounded him on the back. Darren smiled at him. J put his arm around Stephen's shoulders and gave him a little squeeze. He said something, held up a football and pointed at two girls behind him who waved happily. Darren waved back, thinking, "am I the only person who can't understand this guy?"
"That's great, Jason," Stephen said. "Now what are those girls going to do?"
J shrugged, still quite pleased with himself.
Stephen said to Darren, "Jason can get a girl to give him anything."
J nodded, trying not to smile.
"Impressive," Darren said, because he thought he should.
J yelled something and Robbie turned around. He put his hands out and caught the ball easily when J threw it. He and Shane tossed it back and forth, gradually moving apart. The ball flew over Ronan's head a few times, but he didn't flinch or even seem to notice.
"What's up with Ronan?" Darren asked.
"It's just one of those things," Stephen said. This boy is good, Darren thought.
"What things?" he asked, wanting more.
"Everyone has a bad day," Stephen said simply.
J caught up with Ronan and put his arm around him. Ronan put his head on J's shoulder for a second before looking back at the ground. They walked along together and didn't appear to say anything, though Darren couldn't be sure. Eventually Ronan picked up his feet a little and didn't look so forlorn. J stayed with him. He didn't take his arm from Ronan's shoulders and Ronan didn't try to shrug him off despite his earlier lecture to Darren about public closeness.
Darren sighed. What he needed right now was a good friend. Maybe he would go home after the wedding. Not back to San Francisco, but back to Australia. He could stay with Daniel for a few weeks. It would be nice.
tbc
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