Affirmation

By Silent Kid

Published on Mar 13, 2000

Gay

Hello everyone, This is my second try on a story here. It's quite different from my first one, You Needed Me. So if you hated that one, there's no need to avoid this one! It's told mainly from the view point of Savage Garden's Darren Hayes. (He's the dark haired singing one.) Even though the main character isn't really part of a boyband, other characters are, so I thought this was the appropriate category for the story. This story is going to be quite light on sex--just telling you in advance.

Reminder--I'm a girl. For anyone who's forgotten :) Please write me with your comments, suggestions, or just to say howdy. silentkid@angelfire.com

Disclaimer: No one under 18 should read this. I'm a fan of everyone in the story and do not mean to defame them in any way. I am not claiming that Robbie Williams, members of Savage Garden, Boyzone, or 5ive are gay, bi, straight, or anything else. This story is entirely fictional. Even some of the facts are made up.

Darren Hayes and New York City were not on speaking terms when he landed here on Tuesday. This city had once been his escape. Here he fled when his wife left him, seeking comfort in the anonymity Gotham offers a star, especially an unexpected star. Who knew that Savage Garden's album would do so well? He hid amidst its skyscrapers and crooked alleys for a year, writing songs and falling in love all over again. The affair didn't last. He wondered how the person he had shared his soul and his body with suddenly refused to even hug him. He had thought the new album would reflect his lost marriage and his new love. He was wrong. Instead, the songs poured out his broken heart. The affair ended badly, but Affirmation was a hit. Even so, Darren was bitter that his heartache made a bestseller. Had he found happiness, the album wouldn't have been nearly so popular. In a way, Darren felt the city had betrayed him. It hid him, yes, inspired him, even, but the punishment it gave in return for the songs was too much. When did he agree to give his heart not once, but twice, in exchange for twelve little ditties? Where did he sign on the line? Who was the executor of the transaction? The cruel city defied him. It maintained a stony silence as he railed against it. Unable to stand its confinement any longer, Darren ran away. He bought a home in San Francisco. He loved the hills and the streetcars. Even so, he couldn't avoid New York forever. An invitation to a wedding brought him back.

When the plane landed, his stomach sank. He knew it was just the airplane food settling, but he felt the city was swallowing him up, ready to spit him out again at the slightest agitation. He checked in at the Radisson. Within moments, he was out of the room, book in hand, bound for Central Park. Here, he settled down on one of the huge, flat rocks to read. He found his place, turned the page over, and had just started when something whacked him in the head.

"Ow!" Darren yelled.

"Sorry, mate!"

He heard rustling, and soon a pair of BK's stood next to him. Darren rolled over slightly so he could look up and up and up into the cheekily worried face of Robbie Williams. Robbie crouched down next to him and touched his head gently.

"Are you okay?" Robbie asked.

"I guess. What hit me?"

"Frisbee. I'm really sorry. I didn't see you there. Otherwise, I'd have tried harder to catch it."

"It's okay. You're Robbie Williams, right?" Darren asked.

Robbie nodded.

"I'm..."

"Darren Hayes. I know." Robbie interrupted him.

"Are you okay?" another voice joined them. Darren turned around. He tried, rather unsuccessfully, to hide his surprise as three members of Boyzone--Ronan, Stephen, and Shane as well as J from Five surrounded him.

"I'm fine." Darren said. "What is this, a U.K. convention?"

"Shane and I are here visiting Ro," Stephen explained. "He's working on his solo album."

"I'm on holiday," J said, smiling. Darren thought his teeth were a little pointy. No wonder he never smiled in pictures.

"I'm doing a concert on Friday," Robbie said.

"This is like a teenage girls dream, all you guys together at once, " Darren said. "Haven't you been mobbed?"

Ronan laughed. "Of course not! No one knows who we are here!"

"It's great!" Stephen added. "Watch this!" He ran a few steps away from the group, stood just off the sidewalk, and began to sing at the top of his lungs:

"And I see a shooting star, go so far across the sky..."

People walked past him without looking twice. A young woman in a business suit threw a coin at him. An old man threw a piece of bread, meant for the pigeons. No one screamed or fainted. Stephen picked up the coin and ran back to them.

"You forgot the bird food, Steo," Shane ribbed.

"Next time, Shanno," Stephen grinned.

"My turn!" Robbie yelled. He ran over to Stephen's spot. He took a breath and started singing:

"I sit and wait, does an angel comtemplate my..."

"Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!"

Robbie looked up just in time to see three teenage girls racing towards him, their fists raised in excitement, mouths emitting that strange adolescent war chant that, roughly translated, means, "Ohmygodheissocuteicouldjustdie!!!!"

Ronan doubled over giggling. Stephen laughed, but looked rather envious. Robbie glared at them both. Then he ran. He sped off behind a tree with the girls in close pursuit.

Ronan shook his head. "He should have known not to do that. People know he's in town."

"Good thing he's in shape again," J said. "Looks like he'll be running for awhile."

"Guys, we need to get going," Stephen said. He looked at Darren. "Are you coming?"

"No, I want to read awhile. Maybe Robbie will come back. " Darren said.

"Okay. Well, if you want to hook up later, we're staying at the Radisson."

"All of you?" Darren asked.

"Yeah, small world, isn't it?" Shane said.

"I'm staying there too." Darren offered.

"Cool! We'll definitely look you up, then," said Ronan.

"Sounds good. Hey, why aren't you staying with your brother, Ro?" Darren asked.

"It's just cuz me boyz are in town. I wanted to stay with them. I'll go back to my bro's after they go."

"Gotcha."

The others said goodbye and Darren was alone with his book again. He couldn't concentrate, though. His eyes wandered to the clearing where Robbie was last seen. He closed his eyes and listened, but the screaming had evaporated. He wondered if Robbie was staying at the Radisson as well. He hoped so, but imagined that would be too big of a coincidence. It sounded silly, but Darren wished he could see Robbie again to tell him how much he enjoyed his songs. Suddenly he felt like one of those girls. He blushed at the rock. He pressed his face to its cold surface until he felt the redness fade away. He thought he could fall asleep right there. He pushed the book under his stomach so no one would steal it. Then he closed his eyes and sighed contentedly as his body absorbed more of the rock's chill.

Darren barely drifted off before Robbie returned, sitting with a thud beside him, still huffing from his run.

"Did they get you?" Darren asked.

Robbie nodded.

"Knew I should have given up smoking," he huffed.

Darren chuckled.

"They wanted an autograph." Robbie said.

"All that just for an autograph?" Darren asked.

"I guess they wanted to feel like they earned it."

"Did they?"

"Oh, yeah. Nearly gave me a heart attack. They cornered me in some trees." Robbie was getting his breath back now. "The little one ran right up to me. I thought she was going to hit me. Hats off to the fat one. She pulled her back before she could touch me. Amazing she even kept up with us."

"Fat ones are wily."

"True." Robbie nodded. "The other one just screamed and screamed. I've got a terrible headache now."

"You deserve it. You were just showing off."

"What was Stephen doing?"

"He was proving a point. Boyzone who?"

Robbie laughed. "Exactly. But I've always said if I don't make it in America, then it'll be a great place to holiday."

"Too true," Darren agreed.

"What are you reading?" Robbie asked.

"Tom Jones."

"I sang with him, you know," Robbie grinned.

"Um, I think this is a different Tom Jones."

"Just messing with you," Robbie said.

"I know."

"Any good?"

"It's alright. As old books go," Darren said.

"Gotcha. Where did you say you're staying?"

"I didn't. But I'm at the Radisson."

"No way! I'm there, too," Robbie said.

"Everyone's there, I guess," said Darren.

"Yeah, no wonder," Robbie said cryptically.

"Sorry?"

Robbie leaned in close to his ear and whispered, "J was there first."

"So?"

Robbie folded his arms over his chest and smiled serenely. Darren thought he resembled a little Buddha.

"Tell me!" Darren pleaded.

Robbie shook his head. "That's all you're getting out of me. So, are you on holiday?"

"Nice subject change. No, my cousin's getting married on Thursday."

"Great! Then you're free on Friday. Come to my concert. It'll be fun. You'll be my only celebrity guest."

"I don't know. I might leave right after the reception. I don't really like New York anymore," Darren said.

"Maybe it doesn't like you," Robbie said.

"Yeah, that's it, too," Darren said. "Look, I have to go to the hotel now. Are you coming?"

"I can't. I have to do a soundcheck. What room are you in?"

"458." Darren said.

"Okay, I'll see you later then."

"Bye."

Robbie touched his hand when he left him and electrically shocked him. Darren rubbed the tingling spot on his palm as he trekked back to the hotel. He called his cousin to check in and get directions to the church for tomorrow's rehearsal. His role was minimal--walk some relative he'd never met up the aisle, but since cousin Alfred was mother's favorite nephew, Darren had agreed without hesitation. Personally, he would rather be an usher or, better yet, a simple spectator. At least he wasn't singing the couple's special song during the ceremony. He had heard through the grapevine that it was The Rose. He asked Alfred about it. He confirmed it. Darren cringed. He convinced Alfred that having a band cover Savage Garden songs at the reception would not be in their best interest as he envisioned the party guests egging him on to take the stage and "show 'em how it's done." Alfred agreed that the "I Knew I Loved You" covers could wait until after Darren left the party. Unless, of course, his famous cousin wanted to sing them himself. Darren didn't. Alfred acquiesced.

Darren went down to the lobby to buy a sandwich, soda, and postcard from the hotel's little store. He looked around for Boyzone or J, but secretly hoped that he wouldn't see them. He wasn't in the mood for company. VH1 was doing a Behind the Music marathon he wanted to see. He went back to his room and settled down on the bed as the first program--Led Zeppelin--started. Darren nibbled at his chicken salad sandwich and sipped his Cherry Coke. He wrote a postcard to Daniel, Savage Garden's other half, in Australia.

"Dear Daniel, Back in NYC, ack! Met RW and 3 of BZ, plus 1 of 5. Watching VH1--behind the beards, all Led Zeppelin, Bette Midler up next. Jealous? Wish you were here, love,

Darren"

p.s. Know anything about J from 5?

He added this last as an afterthought. Darren knew that Daniel wouldn't know anything. Still, it never hurt to ask. The sandwich was hideous. For a five star hotel, it was really really putrid. He wrapped it up carefully and threw it away. He sighed.

"It's just you and me, pal," he said to his soda. He chugged it and binned it as well. He finished watching 3 episodes--Led Zeppelin, Bette, and Melissa Etheridge, before turning the tv off. He brushed his teeth and pulled his clothes off. He climbed into bed wearing only his joe boxers. The stack of blankets felt so good against his skin. The sheets were freezing, that clean, unslept-in feeling. Darren snuggled deeper into them, pulling the blankets over his black hair. Within moments he forgot where he was because in his head he dreamt of open air and oceans and a glorious breeze over a horizon broken by leaping dolphins. He sighed in his sleep.

Someone shot one of the beautiful dolphins! How could he have let this happen? Darren sat up in bed. Wait, that wasn't a shot. It was a knock. Someone at the door. He got up and pulled the complimentary robe on before answering. Robbie stood there, wearing nothing but his t-shirt and boxers and looking rather sheepish.

"Hi." Darren said.

Robbie didn't say anything. Darren waited. He didn't know what to say. Robbie had come to him, after all, so he must have a reason for it.

When Robbie did speak, it all came as a breathless rush. "I'm really sorry, this is very embarrassing, but I'm scared of my room, I mean, I think there's a ghost in there or something because there's all sorts of noise I can't trace, and is it okay if I sleep in here with you?"

Darren looked at him blankly. Then it sank in and he stepped aside so Robbie could enter.

"I just have the one bed," Darren said, still a little shocked.

"I don't mind. Do you?" Robbie asked. He was hugging himself. Darren could see that goosebumps covered his arms.

"No, I don't mind," Darren said. Mentally he kicked himself. 'I said that much too fast!' he thought.

"Can I have the left side?" Robbie asked.

"Whichever."

"Thanks." Robbie slid under the covers. He looked at Darren. "I really appreciate this."

"I have to get a shirt." Darren said because he really didn't know what else to say.

"Why?"

"I'm just wearing my underwear under this."

"I don't care. I don't want to cramp your style," Robbie said.

"I know. I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

"It's your room. Do what you want." Robbie said groggily. He was drifting away already.

Darren went into the bathroom to hang the robe up. He caught his reflection in the mirror. His ears burned red. He took a few deep breaths. 'Robbie Williams is in my bed,' he thought. 'Robbie Williams is in my bed!' No big deal, it's okay, he thought. He had read the official Take That book. He knew that Robbie often shared a room with Mark because he got scared in his own room. That's all this was. Robbie being Robbie. No reason for one to blush or be embarrassed. He should be flattered that Robbie had come to his room, asked to sleep with him. No, not with him--near him. And he was flattered; a little too flattered.

"He's just being himself," Darren said quietly, as though trying to convince himself to calm down.

He went out into the bedroom and slid into bed next to the sleeping Robbie. He had pulled his t-shirt off. Darren's stomach muscles tightened at the sight of his toned chest. He really had gotten back into shape. He looked down at his own thin hairless torso. His chest could double for a fourteen year old's. He wished he had a little hair on his chest like Robbie, or at least a muscle or two. Robbie opened his eyes and caught Darren staring at him. Darren laid back quickly. Robbie's mouth twitched in a half smile.

"Goodnight, Darren." he said, rolling over on his stomach.

"Sleep tight, Robbie," Darren said, as he rolled over the other way, careful not to touch the man lying beside him.

tbc

what do you think? please tell me your comments or ideas, or if you just want to say hi, silentkid@angelfire.com Thanks--Ambep@

Next: Chapter 2


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