*********** Straight Up ***********
"Matt, why are you here?"
"Can't we just talk please?" he begged, throwing the flower to the driveway. I looked away and crossed my arms. A droplet of water trickled down the back of my neck from my hair. I wiped it off and said to him, "Matt, I already told you, I can't do this! Adrien is the guy that I want and need...not you. So please.for the sake of our friendship, just leave, and I'll see you on Monday."
His eyes were clouded with tears as he stood there ready to respond to me, but I shook my head while opening my front door. "Matt, I'm sorry, I don't want to hear whatever you want to say to me."
"Eric please don't shut me out.please!" he begged quietly. I closed the door and turned around. I slumped down on the floor and leaned against the closed door crying while trying to hide my face in case my mom or dad saw me. This is too hard for me! I love Adrien and I feel like a shit being 'done' by someone else behind his back, and I hated myself for hurting Matt's feelings. for not wanting him. It was eating me up inside terribly, but I couldn't do a damn thing! I thought that getting rid of Matt might solve everything, but it just made it worse!
I got up and tried to shake the feeling off. I couldn't show this to anyone, it's hard enough for me to cope with. I put Matt out of my mind and walked back to the kitchen, cooked the sausages and ate. After I cleaned up, I went straight to Adrien's house. On the outside, I looked fine and dandy but inside there was a war going on with my feelings. I knew which side would win, but it still hurt. Adrien opened the door with a morning look in his eyes. His spiky short hair swooped rightwards and his complexion seemed a bit lighter than usual. He had this stoned look in his eyes that disgusted me. But once he looked twice at me, he shot up a smile and said loudly, "Eric HI! I...didn't know you were coming to my house today!"
"Uninvited I see. Well yesterday in school, you wanted me to chill at your house, so I said okay and you said cool. And besides I always come to your house every Saturday," I said holding his hand. He snickered and nodded, "Shucks, how can I ever say no to you? Come in!"
Once again he was alone at home since his mom and dad are either always out shopping or at work, or somewhere having fun without him. He didn't mind though, because this way we got to have the place for ourselves. He took a quick shower with the door wide open and when he came out I could see him completely naked across the 2nd floor hallway. His dick swung left and right giving me the temptation to grab it and suck on that rod of his. My dick was enraged inside my underwear, but I resisted the temptation to do anything about it. I flicked the T.V. from channel to channel until Adrien was at the door leaning with his left arm on the side of the doorframe and his right holding a towel to cover is privates. "Pass me some shorts."
I reached into the drawer and found a pair that felt soft and passed them to him. He dropped the towel down on the carpet showing his circumcised dick to me, but I gazed away trying to concentrate on the television. Then it hit me, I am TRYING to avoid something that I want! I mean it's not like he's not gay or anything, but somehow I just needed to control myself for once! He stared at me peculiarly and asked, "Man, am I turn off to you?"
"Actually, the other way around, I'm just not in the mood right now."
"What? Well that's new for Eric who's always the sex crazed maniac...but I don't mind at all. Last night was pretty hectic for me! I can still feel the pain in my ass from that stupid old mower that wouldn't stop shaking me up and down!" he said rubbing his butt. I put my hand on his chest, turned around, and squeezed my leg between his legs. I kissed him on the cheek and lay my head next to him with his ear touching my forehead. I cuddled close to him while he wrapped his arms around me. "You okay? You look kinda down."
"I'm okay. Just...questioning myself about a lot of things lately."
"Anything that can be talked about?"
"Nothing really. Something for me to solve by myself, not really a big thing," I said kissing his neck. I felt his warm breath blowing my hair and his hand slowly moving down to my waist. "Okay, if you want you know you can talk to me, okay?"
"Yeah...thanks."
"Hey how about it? Let's go somewhere! I have money today."
"I thought you were tired?" I asked. He nodded. "I am, but not too tired to please my little angel."
"Hey, as long as you're treating then it's definitely a yes!" I said giggling. He grinned and got up to grab something to wear from his closet. He picked these cargo pants he rarely wore and this usual sleeveless shirt he wears just to show off his toned muscles. Gym did really pay off for him. I never really liked buff guys, but a few muscles didn't hurt. We both went to downtown and walked around the streets trying to find something to do since it was only two in the afternoon. "Hey Eric, slow down, my back really hurts."
"Okay, let's just stop over Smithbooks and read some magazines," I insisted pulling him by the wrist. It really didn't occur to me that I was doing something guys wouldn't normally do, holding his wrist, until I saw this teenage guy look at us in a funny way. Not a disgusted look, but just...confused. I blushed and took my hand off Adrien's wrist. I turned around to look at him and apologized, "Sorry."
"S'okay. I knew it was an act of instinct anyway so I should be flattered," he said smiling. The store was quiet as always, and the typical faces were there. Teenage girls were browsing the magazine section looking at the latest fashion magazines, while several middle-aged couples were studying books in the travel section, probably dreaming of trips they couldn't afford. I took some girlie and guy magazines and brought them to the second floor where there was a couch specifically for reading. Adrien looked really tired and once every few minutes his head would drop down as he tried to fight sleep from overtaking him. I woke him a few times, but about the fifth time I woke him up, I got up and tugged on his shirt to follow me. Like a drunken old man, he followed me as I returned the magazines and we went back outside again. He was so tired that he didn't even notice that we were going home until he noticed the trees everywhere. "Why are we going home?"
"'Cuz," I said opening my door to go inside. My mom was inside the living room reading the newspaper and waved silently at us without any expression. Adrien greeted my mom like a gentleman and followed me downstairs. I closed the door and locked it before he said, "We're gonna have sex?"
"Better, go to bed," I ordered him. He followed my order without hesitation and sighed when he slowly sank down the soft mattress. "See...isn't that better?" "Eric...thank you. This is why I love you so much," he said closing his eyes. I walked around to other side of the bed and lay beside him. I took off my pants and covered us both with the blanket. He turned around to look at me, his weary blue eyes gazing into mine, hypnotizing me. His finger tips slowly brushed across the surface of my cheeks as he whispered to me, "Eric...you don't know how lucky I am. Here you are trying to comfort me even though the date's..."
"A date isn't everything. Besides, all I need to be happy is to be with you...now for my sake go to sleep before something bad happens."
"Okay..." he whispered before closing his eyes and quickly falling asleep. I laid there for a couple of minutes just looking at him sleep. He snuggled closer to me and laid his head on my chest. I played around with his ungelled hair, and then slid my hands down his smooth back until he moved a bit from being tickled. I grinned and gazed up in the ceiling again. The only thing I could hear was the quiet rustling of the leaves outside and Adrien's breathing pattern. I carefully slid away from Adrien and went upstairs to get something to eat since breakfast never really did anything to me. I turned the T.V. to the cable pulse channel where they show up to the minute news. "And for the news update, this morning a girl named..."
I quickly changed the channel until I saw a new episode of Xena playing. The show was almost ending when Adrien came out of nowhere to find me. As soon as he saw me with sandwich crumbs on my face, he smiled sexily and sat beside me at the table grabbing the sandwich from my hand. "You just missed another one cool kick butt Xena show again."
"That's okay, I'm not really into it, I'm more of a radio kinda guy," he said humming this new song that I've heard before in the radio. "Hey have you heard from Matt?"
"What makes you ask that?" I asked kind of shaking from what I did this morning. He shook his head and placed his legs on the other unused chair in front of him. "Oh, nothing, I guess it's weird not to hear from him for like two days."
"Heh...so you miss him?" I said kind of giggling a bit. He laughed and made a loud 'Eww'. "Heck no, just weird that he's not hollering around right now you know? Usually, by now, your phone's busy with his calls and stuff."
"Oh stop it," I said. "It's true! I'm just telling you what I see."
"You see weird things," I said changing the channel again. He kissed me on the cheek, which scared me since my parents were home. I pushed him away telling him about my parents. "Sorry, I kinda felt like I said something bad."
"It's okay," I said. He looked around and slowly leaned closer to me. Without hesitation, I let his lips brush my strawberry jam filled lips. He licked his lips as I giggled with delight. He kissed me again, and this time his tongue licked off every bit of jam from my lips. I couldn't stop laughing. He smiled, "Sweet!"
"Well...yeah of course I am!" I joked. He grinned sexily and kissed me again. His lips felt so soft against mine, and he sure tasted better than my old sandwich any day. He moved his chair towards mine and soon I was reaching out to hug him. His hand held the back of my head to keep me close to him, fearing that I might escape. I couldn't let go, even though I knew this was very risky since my parents were lingering somewhere.
As soon as I thought about my parents I heard faint footsteps coming closer. I quickly pushed Adrien away, not noticing that I pushed him so hard that there was a loud thump when his back hit the back of the chair. My hands automatically covered my mouth and I asked him in shock, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah...but I could do better!"
"I am so sorry! I heard someone coming!" I apologized. He shook his head. "No really it's okay. I'm okay...just a few broken bones and organ failures."
I started giggling and told him to stop it. He snickered and told me he was really ok. I was relieved to see that I didn't hurt him. He gazed at me and smiled. I looked down at his hands that were holding mine under table. Blushing, I said, "I love you."
"I love you too," he said sincerely. We went back downstairs and made love on top of my squeaky bed, right under my parents' feet! It was blistering hot that night, especially after feeling his body sticking to mine as he hugged me under the thick blanket. Unlike before, we did something new that surprised both of us; we had anal sex. My butt felt so sore that I really wanted to shove tons of ice cubes inside. I could feel cum drip out of my rectum whenever I relaxed my muscles there. Tired and exhausted, he comforted me with kisses on my neck. The room was filled with the stench of sweat and cum and my cock felt weird inside there, filled with sweat, and cum. I turned my back to him while he hugged me from behind. I could feel his chest explode every single time his heart beat. He was kissing my neck passionately, then down my sweaty back. His spike that still remained intact after sex tickled my back, while his kisses went down almost to my butt cheeks. He moved back up as I turned around to look at him. He was sweating badly and he was still breathing fast. I placed my hand on his neck making a circular movement. He grinned and french kissed me. "That was...really awesome."
"Yes...it was," I said still unsure if it was awesome since it hurt like hell. "Now I consider myself virgin-free. It was worth giving it to you."
"You think so?" I asked pecking him on the lips and snuggling closer, even though his body felt like a furnace to me. His exhausted penis laid on my thigh as he whispered, "Yeah...I know so, you're the love of my life."
"Adrien..."
"I mean it...God, you are," he said caressing my face. He continued, "I know now that nothing would keep us apart."
"Uhh...yeah..." I said. Memories flashed in my head. Disgusted at the memories, I got out of the bed, and started putting on my boxers and my shirt. "Where you going?"
"Just out in the backyard. I need to get some fresh air." I said, trying not to punch the wall. The wind felt cold, like it didn't want me to be here, but the stars twinkled majestically up in the sky showing me that it's not going to be the end of everything. I leaned back on the wooden bench as my eyes filled up with tears of shame. The stars blurred and soon all I could see clearly was the fact that I'm a dirtbag. I hugged my legs placing my forehead on my knees. I cried that night...letting everything out. I hated me. I hate the soul that lives in this puny little vessel of mine.
I heard the glass door slide open and I quickly rubbed the tears away from my eyes. Adrien sat down beside me, not noticing that I had been crying. He also looked up in the sky, staring at the beauty of the universe. He leaned on me and said, "It's such a nice night don't you think?"
"It is," I said calmly. He gazed at the stars that twinkled happily up there. I was wondering to myself what would happen if I was one of those twinkling stars? All they do is bring happiness to everyone and shine their light on everyone. My grandma said before that whenever someone dies, if they have completed the task they were given in this world, they would be one of the stars that glitter in the sky. The brightness of your star determines how saintly you were. I bet one day, if I do become one of the stars up there, I would be one who'd be glittering faintly behind the moon. He sang quietly, "I've waited all of my life for the day when love appears. Like a fairy tale in days gone by he will rescue me from my fears. And now I feel him sitting close to me and how can I tell him what he means to me? My heart stands still, has he come? Oh starry night, is this the moment I dream of? Oh starry night. Tell me, is he my own true love?"
Not knowing the words that came after next, he hummed the song as I laid my head on his shoulders. It was soothing really. His voice felt like cool water on a hot summer day. I sighed and hugged him. He said surprised, "You know your parents can see us!"
"So? I don't care!"
"Neither do I...but it's for our own good. They might separate both of us and send you to a military school, you don't want that do you?"
"Will you stop it acting like that?" I said furiously, pulling my arms away from him and sitting quietly on the bench. He said, "What the hell's wrong with you? One minute, you act like you're in heaven, and the next you act like the world's gonna end soon." "Look, nothing's wrong!" I said. He stood and looked at me. "Then why are you acting this way again? I've noticed in the past week that you've been acting a lot weirder than usual! Is it me? Did I do something wrong?"
"You never did anything wrong Adrien," I explained shaking my head. "Then did I forget something?"
"No...no, you didn't do anything!" I explained. He sat down again and faced me. "Then tell me. Why are you acting so down now?"
"It's nothing," I said briefly. "Bull shit! If it's nothing, then why can't you tell me? Jesus Christ, fuck I'm so worried about you lately that I can't think of anything but you. And you cant' even tell me what's wrong!"
"Nothing's wrong!" I said feeling like I just repeated myself. He shook his head, "We're back in square one. Fuck it I'm leaving, I can't even fucking understand you."
"Adrien...I'm really sorry," I said. He stood up and said, "Well sorry doesn't cut it."
He went inside as I sat there unable to decide what I should do next. My head felt like hell as I tried to think of what to do. I wanted to follow him but...I know that he wouldn't accept my lie and if I don't follow him he'd still hate me. I'm so confused! I ended up staying in the back yard sitting on the cold wooden bench. After a few hours, my mom eventually came outside wondering where I was. "Honey, where have you been? For pete's sake come inside, it's freezing here."
It was cold, but I was so numb with pain and nervousness over what to tell Adrien, I didn't even notice the frigid weather was turning my skin blue. I went inside the house with my teeth chattering and my hands rubbing both my arms. My mom made me a hot chocolate since she could tell that I was freezing like hell. I thanked her for the hot chocolate before going back to the basement. I slowly walked down the steps and opened the door. When I turned on the lights, my heart almost skipped a beat at what I saw. Adrien was sitting on my bed looking at the window. It kind of freaked me out; he had been sitting all this time on the edge of my bed. He looked at me when I asked, "Why are you still here?"
"Eric, I can't leave without knowing what's wrong."
"Look...there's nothing wrong" I said, repeating the lie again. He shook his head. "I don't know why, but my instincts don't buy that answer. Why can't you just tell me? I'm your best friend, your lover, the only person who you can tell everything. You know that I will listen, comfort you, and not tell anyone about it. And now you can't even tell me what's wrong." "Because there is nothing to talk about!"
"Please stop repeating yourself. Why are you being so stubborn? You can tell me anything."
"Adrien please stop it. I just want to keep it to myself alright?"
"Fine, if that's what you want...then fine. I'm not gonna force you to say it. It's a free country, but do know this, if you keep it bottled inside it will come out eventually. I just want to know now so I can help you out," he said. Imagining Adrien finding out what I did scared the hell out of me. I shook my head as he grabbed his belongings. "That's the point, you can't help."
"I can listen you know," he said putting his shoes on. I couldn't say anything. I just stood there waiting for him to leave. He stood up checking to see if he left anything. Then he went to me and said, "Part of loving someone is caring about him or her, and when I say I love you, I give a damn about how're you feeling. So please, if you really want to talk this out...just holler. Goodnight, I love you."
I nodded as he grabbed my shoulders and kissed me on the cheek. This time he left my house and went home as I sat down and cried all night.