Absolute Convergence 47**
Absolute Convergence
**
Chapter Forty-seven
By John Yager
This is the forty-seventh chapter of an ongoing series. Thanks again for all your comments on this series. This chapter continues the narrative of Rob Ballinger's summer following his graduation from the University of Mississippi in 1972.
I always appreciate hearing from you and try to answer all messages promptly. If I am slow at times it is only because of the pressure of work or my somewhat demanding travel schedule.
Andrew has continued to give much needed proofing and editorial help, for which I am sincerely grateful. I could not post chapters as quickly as I've been doing without his invaluable assistance.
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It was clear to Rick that my sexual skills had improved and he was full of questions. He wanted to know more about Steve and what he and I had done together. I told Rick about things I'd learned from Steve and he was surprised that he fucked me at least as much as I fucked him.
We were still lying side by side on the sofa bed. We were naked, the cabin was warm and a gentle breeze wafted in from the river. It was early afternoon and we'd still not eaten. I guess we were both getting real hungry but it was just too nice lying there together for us to want to get up.
"I thought I was going to have a stroke when you went down on my ass," Rick grinned. "I couldn't believe you were doing that."
"But you liked it, though."
"I fucking loved it, Rob. I just couldn't believe it." Then there was a long pause during which I sensed he wanted to say more but was having trouble doing it. I just waited, letting him find the words he wanted. Finally he looked at me, squarely in the eyes and asked, "would you want me to fuck you?"
"You did it before, remember?"
"Yeah, but now, would you want me to do it again?"
"Yeah, Rick, I'd love it, but only if you wanted to do it."
"Can I think about it?" he asked.
"Sure."
"I'm not sure I want to do it, Rob, but I will think about it, okay?"
"Sure, Rick," I said, leaning over to kiss his lips softly. "Whatever you want."
"It seems like that's something I do with Deb. I mean something I should keep to do only with her."
"I understand," I said, and I really did. There were things about his life with Debbie which he needed to keep separate, just as there were things in my life I had no intention of sharing with him.
The biggest secret I'd kept from Rick was the real nature of my relationship with Daniel and Sammy and I had no intention of sharing that with him. Rick assumed that Steve and I had had an exclusive relationship during our four years at Ole Miss and I was just going to leave it at that. Besides, I wasn't at all sure how Rick would feel about a relationship like the one I'd had with the Foursome and I figured it was best just to leave that whole thing alone.
I have noticed over the years since then that many married men prefer being the bottom when they are with another man, rather than being the top. In a way I suppose it makes sense. If they want to fuck, they can fuck their wife. If they're with another man, they are looking for something different and getting fucked is a big part of all that.
With Rick I think it went deeper. He saw his relationship with Deb in a particular way. With her, he was the master, the dominant one. She expected that and I think he did, too. In some odd way, for him to play a more dominant role with me would have been a denial of sorts. It was also true that there was a very submissive side to Rick's nature and when he was with me he had a chance to let that part of his personality take over.
In some ways, seeing his relationship with Deb as he did, seeing himself as the dominant member of the pair, as the protector and provider, it must have been all the more difficult for him to deal with his inability to get her pregnant.
Maybe I instinctively understood what Rick was thinking and feeling. I certainly hadn't thought it through at that point, but I understood enough to say, "Buddy, I really understand what you are asking me to do."
"Yeah?" he responded, not knowing where I was heading.
"Yeah, this is a lot more than a physical thing. I mean, contributing some sperm so you and Deb can have a baby is just a physical act, but so far as you and I are concerned, I guess it goes a lot deeper."
"Yeah, for sure."
"I guess I was sort of envisioning it as if it were like a garden," I said. "You want zinnias, you buy zinnia seed, or maybe a friend gives you some of his seeds and you plant them. But they're your flowers, growing in your garden. The flowers don't belong to the friend who gave you the seeds."
"You really feel that way about this?" Rick said rolling over to look more closely at me.
"Yeah, Rick, I do. I'll do what you need me to do, but from there on it will be your child, yours and Deb's. It will be you who takes care of Deb, encouraging her, and you who is the good husband, taking care of all the things she'll need from you during the pregnancy. When the baby is born it will be you who'll be there to be its father, to love it, raise it and support it.
"I know I'll love your baby, too. I am really honored that you've ask me to do this and then to be the baby's Godfather as well. I know I'll love that kid until the day
I die, but I will always think of it as your kid, never, ever as mine."
Rick lowered his lips to mine and kissed me gently.
"You're not only going to be a great Godfather, Rob, you're going to be a great uncle, too."
"I sure hope so," I said. "I like that idea."
"But you said you thought there was more than a physical thing going on here. What did you mean?"
"Well, I guess it's almost spiritual. I feel as if this will make for an even stronger bond between you and me. The baby will be yours and Deb's but, like you said earlier, it's almost as if it were you and I who were making this child."
"Yeah," he whispered, moving in to kiss me again. "That's why when you're ready, I want you to fuck me again."
"Yeah, lover," I said, "we want to be sure we got the job done, really done right."
Eventually we were forced to get up and fix some food. I think by then we were both starving. We made sandwiches and took them out to the dock, where we sat side by side, still naked, our legs dangling off the edge toward the water and our hips touching. The day had gotten hot and very humid and neither of us wanted to go back into the warm cabin. Instead, after we'd eaten, we lay there together, touching a little, just enjoying the sun on our bodies and reaching out for one another when the urge took us.
There was the sound of a dog barking off in the distance and we wondered if there were somebody else around. It didn't bother us enough to think about dressing, though. We swam from time to time, then we lay on the dock, chatting a little as we dried off in the sun.
Rick told me more about the job he'd be starting in a couple of weeks. I'd heard about it from my mom, who always seemed to know all the local news, but Rick went into more detail. He'd done fairly well at Mississippi State and had been interviewed by three or four large companies. He'd been offered jobs by two of them and had chosen one with a large communications company in Memphis. The salary and benefits looked good and there were excellent chances for advancement. The real clincher was their offer to pay for him to go on and work towards a Master of Business Administrations degree.
MBA degrees were a fairly new thing in those days and earning it would give Rick a real advantage, whether he stayed with the same company for his entire career or opted to move on to another company later.
Neither Rick or Deb wanted to come back to Spring River so Memphis was a good compromise. It was close enough to keep their families fairly happy and yet far enough away for them to have their own life.
He asked me more about my own plans and still seemed concerned that I was going to be so far away.
"I can't believe you are going to be going so far," he said, "but I guess you know what you're doing."
"Yeah, Rick," I said, "I think I've got to do it. You know I can never have the life I want around here."
"I know. I just wish you were going to be close enough for us to get together more often, but I always figured you'd end up where the action is."
Eventually Rick led me back up to the stuffy cabin where we lay on the sofa bed again making slow, gentle love. We kissed forever, it seemed, his mouth soft on mine. At some point he began to explore my body with his lips, planting little wet kisses on my neck and chest, over my belly and on down my legs.
When he came to the long scars which ran along my lower left leg he ran his fingers over them, examining them for a while. He looked up at me with a strange sadness in his eyes and then gently kissed them as if he were kissing away the hurt.
"When I heard what had happened to you I wept, Rob."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, I cried like a baby and Deb held me all that night, telling me you'd be okay, that you were strong and that you'd heal. I knew she was right, but I still hurt so badly for you."
I ran my fingers through his soft golden hair, not knowing how to respond.
Eventually he moved back up until his mouth was on my cock and we twisted into a gentle sixty-nine. There was no urgency between us now. We went slowly, just loving each other. Gradually the pressures grew and we just went with the flow. We came together, his seed tasting sweet and fresh, flooding my throat as I came in his.
After an evening swim, we made ourselves some supper and then went back down to the dock. We lay there, touching, watching the stars come out in their amazing profusion and listening to the night noises along the river.
I think we may have dozed a little because it was late when we went back to the cabin. We lay on the sofa bed and made slow, gentle love. I fucked Rick again, with us facing each other, his legs around me and my weight on him, the way we both liked it best. Our passions were spent by then and we felt no urgency. I realized later that I was in him for well over an hour. I eventually came, shooting a somewhat meager load into his bowels, but before we ever got to that point, Rick came three times. I think he'd more or less exhausted his supply of semen so his climaxes were almost dry, but very intense. Each time his body spasmed under me and I thought, I did that, and I felt as if I were master of the universe.
I'd not heard of Tantra sex in those days, but years later when I read about the discipline of controlled and repeated sexual pleasure, I wondered if Rick and I had somehow achieved something like that on our own.
Needless to say, we slept soundly. I woke with Rick sucking my cock. What a wonderful way to start the day! We couldn't stay long, so after breakfast we took one more short swim and then packed up and headed home.
A week later I went with Deb and Rick to Jackson to do my bit for the continuation of the Carlson family line. We told our folks we were going to do some shopping. I wondered about Steve, if he were there at his parent's home, but I didn't call him. It would have been too complicated.
The actual experience of donating my sperm was clinical and uninteresting and I won't bore you with the details. Needless to say, there was no way Rick could have left Deb and gone into the little examining room with me, even if the nurses would have allowed it. In any case, they got called for Deb to see her doctor just about the same time I was paged. So I worked solo, filling the little cup. I thought about my short reunion with Rick, of being with him at the cabin a week earlier, and that was all the encouragement I needed.
I wasn't told the details of what was done with my "specimen," as the nurse called it, and I didn't really want to know.
A week after the Jackson trip, I left Spring River. My new life was about to begin.
To be continued