This is Part IV of "Abduction of the Mind." If you have not read Parts I-III, I recommend it. You will be a little lost if you don't read them in order. to those who commented to me that they wanted me to keep goingÑsorry for the delay.
Abduction of the Mind, Part IV.
Chapter 21
Paula was surprised that John's sister Mandy took the news of her brothers crossdressing so well. She probed her newbie carefully for all the details. She was puzzled as to why he did not admit to his sister his desire to be a full woman. Afterall, it was only a short amount of time before she would find out due to the changes that were inevitable in John's body.
"I could not tell her Paula," John protested. "It was hard enough to tell her that I was wearing panties everyday and that I wanted to dress like a girl at all."
"I understand your difficulty John, but you will have to expose your changes to her, and to everyone before too long."
John was unsure of what Paula meant by that. He knew his body would change someday, but he did not think it would be soon. He also considered that he would stop if things got too out of hand. He could control it. He decided to express some of his thoughts to Paula. "I don't think I could ever tell anyone else Paula. I mean if things start to get to the point where I can't hind it, Ill just stop"
"Stop what?"
"Stop the hormones. The dressing up. I can't do this forever." John was sure this was going to stop someday soon. He figured it could only go so far, and he was going to go to college in a couple of years, and probably would not see Paula much, if ever.
"You really think you are going to stop?" Paula asked cooley. There was no emotion in her voice at all. "You really think I would let you stop after I have brought you this far; wearing my clothes, parading around here as a woman, taking my hormones...you think this is some sort of temporary game Julia?"
John was a little surprised by Paula's words.
"There is no stopping Julia.," Paula continued. "You will not be allowed to stop even if you wanted to."
Paula had experienced this type of behavior before in her subjects. She and Dr. Rice spent time discussing how to work with girls like this, who were having doubt. Each one was individual and had to dealt with a certain way. Some needed a strong-arm approach, others a loving, caring touch of persuasion. She knew that once Julia told Mandy, that the dynamic of what was happening would change and that he may choose to distance himself from the fact that he was crossdressing and turning female.
"I can stop when I want Paula." John found some of his old nerve. "I mean don't think I don't appreciate what you have been doing with me and all. I mean, I have had a great time....and...well..." John did not want to completely insult Paula, after all he was enjoying their time together and did not want it to end deep down. "...well, I want to keep going of course, but I mean at some point...although I guess not for a while..."
Paula saw the conflict within him. She knew he was closing in on the point of no return. She realized that this one would need a combination of some light touch and perhaps a little more severe persuasion down the road. She also realized that some how, his sister Mandy could prove to be a major factor in completing the transformation for John into Julia permanently. She decided to make her play for Mandy.
"Julia, I would like you to tell your sister about what you have been doing here. I want you to let her know that I have been helping you out after I caught you in my things. And Julia....I will give you until the end of the week to tell her....and if you don't...I will."
John was stunned. "But....but .... Paula...."
"Stop!" Paula exclaimed.
The word was definitive and cut John suddenly. After a moment of silence, Paula turned to John and came up to her, close to her face. "Stop you whining and stammering," Paula said almost in a whisper. "You have been coming her for almost 8 months now, dressing as a girl, wearing your sister panties everyday, taking female hormones. Your skin tone is softer, you have been complaining that your nipples are sore and tender...and you think you have only been playing? I did not think you were that simple minded Julia. Perhaps we should stop seeing each other. I want someone strong enough to handle this." Paula started to turn away and show her back to John.
The remarks devastated John. He was upset, almost in tears as the words came out of Paula's mouth. "No....please....please Paula, I'm sorry I did not mean it. I want to keep seeing you....please...."
Paula did not show it, but she was delighted. Delighted that John was more concerned about not seeing her any longer then about all the things she had said to him about the past 8 months.
"Then stop whining, and do as I say." Paula retorted coldly.
John realized what he had to do. "Okay Paula. I will do it. Just please let me keep coming here?" John was begging now. He was tearing up, and very concerned.
"I suppose you can continue to come here, but I want you to tell Mandy about me, and what you are doing here," reminded Paula.
"Yes...I will tell her Paula. I will."
"And, I want you to do something else for me Julia," Paula knew she had him right where she wanted him.
John did not know what else it was that Paula wanted, but he was in a zone he had never been in with her. He would do anything she asked of him to satisfy her. "Sure."
"I want you to begin shaving your legs and underarms every day starting tonight. I do not want to see hair on your legs or arm pits again. Is that clear?" Paula said.
John knew it was not a request. He knew Paula well enough to know. He had no choice. He had to do it or Paula would not see him any longer. "Okay Paula. I will do it tonight."
With that, John was on his way home. Mandy would most definitely be getting a huge surprise.
Chapter 22
Mandy was in her room after dinner, and both John's parents had gone out for the night. John figured this would most likely be a good night to tell Mandy the truth.
It had been 2 weeks since John first admitted to his sister that he was wearing her panties everyday. And for 2 weeks, John would see his sister in the evening after the day was through, and get his sisters panties from that day to put on. It had become part of the routine. But what was Mandy's feeling going to be about what was really going on?
Mandy was sitting on her bed, and filing her nails when John came into the room. He was in his jeans and tee shirt as usual. Mandy had her panties from that day already off and set aside for her brother. She sensed tension in John as he came into the room. She looked up at him from her nails. "Hey John. Are you okay? Here are my panties by the way."
John knew this was going to be difficult and shocking, but he had to do it. "Hi Mandy." He swallowed hard. He had to be brave. Paula did not want any weaklings.
"Look sis...I appreciate the panties and all, but I need to tell you more of what is happening and I really, really need you to be okay with it." John was trying to prime her and soften her up as much as possible.
Mandy sensed the seriousness in his tone. She knew there was more to all of this then what he first admitted to so she was not completely surprised that he was about to tell her more. She was not sure how to handle what ever it was. She figured he was going to come out of the closet and express his homosexuality. She would accept that 100% of course. She did not know that she was going to be hearing something very different. "John you are my brother, and I love you. You can tell me anything. I would hope you would know that by now."
John took a deep breath. He was scared and nervous. His mouth was dry and palms sweaty. But he had to make sure he did this. Paula gave him a week and this was day 5 of 7.
"Remember when you asked me about the panties...that I wear your panties and all?"
"Yes...," replied Mandy.
"Well there is a little more to it then that sis."
Mandy decided to do everything she could to get it all out of her brother. "I'm not surprised John. I mean it has been rather obvious that something else is happening. Its okay...you can talk to me...I'm here for you."
John swallowed hard again. He was still standing by the doorway. His heart was racing and he was almost dizzy.
"John...why don't you come sit here on the bed with me and tell me all about it?" Mandy wanted to hear this and she wanted her brother to be comfortable. She knew once he began, there would be no stopping it from coming out.
John found that he could still walk in a relatively straight line, and sat on the bed. The moment had come for Mandy to learn the truth. He took another deep breath. "Mandy, I don't think I told you how I came across wearing you panties, or should I say where it became an every day thing."
Mandy knew this was it. She was finally going to get some answers. "No John, you never mentioned it. I wanted you to tell me when you were ready, and comfortable."
John was sensing a little more understanding and was beginning to feel more at ease with what he was about to do. "Well, what happened was that as a dare, I was asked to wear a woman's panties, and that's where it began."
Mandy was surprised. "What do you mean by dared John. By whom were you dared?"
"Well....my friend Sam and I. We came across some girls underware, and we dared each other..."
Things began to clear up for Mandy. She knew Sam had no sisters, so the panties had to be Sam's mothers. "Whoa....John, are you telling me you have worn Mrs. Conklin's panties?"
John saw that his sister was very intuitive. "Well....yes....but wait, please don't get upset..." John was concerned he had gone to far, but he also notice his sister had not moved a muscle.
Mandy was trying very hard to stay composed and relaxed although she was very shocked that her brother was wearing another woman's panties, at least someone outside the family, an outside the home. Since her brothers revelation a few weeks back, Mandy had read up some on crossdressers and how they had a propensity to start in their teens with either a mothers or sisters clothing. "Wow John...just wow. I had no idea you would do that, or that you were that brave. Did Sam put them on too or were you the only brave one?"
"No... he was already wearing a different pair of his moms panties, and he basically dared me to put a pair of Paula's on."
Mandy heard something in that statement that drew her eye in tightly. "Paula?" John was not sure what his sister was asking. "What do you mean "`Paula' John. Isn't it Mrs. Conklin?"
She was intuitive and smart John thought. "Well, it kind of went further then just panties Mandy."
John went on slowly and told his sister how Paula Conklin came home finding John wearing her bra and panties. Mandy sat quietly while John explained the events of that first encounter with Paula. she was stunned by the ease at which her brother was caught, and was surprised he would be so easily controlled by this woman.
"John, I just can't believe that you would be so easily swayed into staying their that night, and what's more, staying in Mrs. Conklin's bra and panties, in front of her, and what is even more shocking is that she would strip down to her bra and panties in front of you. that's like abuse isn't it?"
John considered what his sister was saying. she had a point. He should have been out of their the instant he was caught, and never returned. But the truth was he liked it. He actually loved it. And this was something his sister would not know unless he told her. "At the time Mandy, I did want to get away. At least that's what my brain was telling me."
"I sense a `but' coming."
"But...I think deep down, my heart wanted it," replied John.
"You wanted her to see you like that? You wanted to be caught? What?" Mandy was practically out of her skin. At first it was a frustration, anger with her brother. But the more he went on, she admitted it was somehow exciting too.
"I did not want to be caught," John responded. "and I did not want to be seen...at least not at the time. But looking back on it now."
"Does she know what has happened as a result of this? Does she realize you like to wear girls clothes now, although I have only seen you in panties myself so, what could she possibly know?"
With that remark from his sister, John realized she had no idea about how involved Paula was in all of this, or that he was much more interested in this then just clothing. He took another deep breath to tell his sister the most difficult part of this whole encounter with Paula. "Mandy...I go over their pretty much everyday...and when I am their..."
"Oh my god!" Mandy put her hands to her mouth. she realized that her brother had been dressing as a girl everyday, and doing it in front of this strange woman. Her eyes were wide and the breath was almost taken out of her.
John realized his sister was now `getting it' and he decided that this was the time to tell her about the final part of what was happening to him. "...when I'm their I dress up, and I think you can figure out the rest since you can already see I look different..." "What do you mean the rest?" Mandy said in all but a whisper. It was all she could muster.
John had gone this far already, and was almost comfortable just telling his sister at this point. There was no going back. "Well she has been....I have been taking...they are injections. Everyday. And...:
"Hormones?" Mandy interrupted.
"Ummm....yeah....estrogen, I think..."
"Oh John!" Mandy was trying to maintain her composure and remain relaxed, but she was shocked. She felt a little betrayed however, because she thought it was kind of fun that they were sharing panties. The past few weeks, she felt closer to John then ever before and she felt like this is kind of what it would be like if I had a sister.
"John, do you understand that...you will....that you going..." Mandy could not get the words out. "You have to tell mom and dad." That she was able to get out, in almost a normal volume and tone, but it was definitive.
"No!....No....and please Mandy. Please promise me you wont say anything."
"John, you understand that they will see it at some point," Mandy continued. "I mean, you are taking estrogen or whatever. How long have you been doing this, or has that witch been doing this to you?"
John was surprised by his sisters description of Paula. "Okay she is not a witch, and you have to promise me not to tell anyone about this.. Promise me, please?" John was really concerned that he was about to be outed by his own sister, and suddenly he was feeling anger towards her.
"Look John, I have not said anything about you wearing my dirty underwear...underwear that I have worn and that you like to put on after I wear it. You know not for nothing, but what is that all about? I mean if you like to dress as a girl, and are taking hormones to become a girl why don't you buy your own clean panties? Why do they have to be my panties that I have worn all day? You have a thing for me or something?" As the words escaped her lips, her anger towards her brother turned to a bit of excitement again, but in a way she was surprised by and never felt before. The excite was sexual, and Mandy knew it.
John had no answer except the one he could think of which was not right and could not say to his sister. The idea that he wanted to become more like his sister as being the reason to wear her panties, that he enjoyed the fact that her skin was on them earlier and that he would be now taking in that scent, that touch on his pores. He knew Mandy could not accept that. "Maybe I will buy my own things."
"Look John, I don't mind sharing my underware with you." Mandy had soften somewhat. The feeling she was getting her within, had mellowed her quickly. she did not want to hurt her brother and calmed herself down. "The point is, that you are letting Mrs. Conklin do this to you, and I guess I am not sure why other then you must want to be a girl."
That was the real question that John was hoping he would not have to face from his sister, but in reality, it was the inevitable conclusion of this. He would have to answer it to Mandy, his parent, and his friends at some point. Afterall, Mandy and Paula both told him, that he would not be able to hid what was to come. eventually people would know weather he told them or not.
"I suppose that I might want to be a girl," John said looking down at the bed.
Mandy looked at her brother carefully. Since he had been on hormones for more then 6 months, he must be going through some changes of some kind. "Look John, you understand that eventually, you wont be able to hind breasts right? That you will change physically. Not because you do it to yourself manually, like that you are now shaving your legs, but I mean, the other things too. You get that right? You understand that you will not be able to go back, that you will lose...lose your...penis."
John was hearing the words from his sister. He was listen loud and clear and he knew that they were very similar to what he had heard from Paula, even though they were in a different way. He had no answer for her however. He was afraid of the words, even though he knew it was true. He tried to formulate a comment, but all he could do was wonder how it had gone this far.
Mandy was curious of how her brother had been so comfortable to allow this woman to do this to him. She decided she wanted to meet Mrs. Conklin face to face to discuss it with her. She figured that maybe Mrs. Conklin would be able to discuss more details with her.
"John, I want to meet Mrs. Conklin and talk to her about this," Mandy said.
John thought that it might not be a good idea for them to meet. "No way Mandy..."
"Yes way...or I'm telling mom and dad what your doing to yourself."
"Mandy you promised not to do that."
"Yeah well I wont tell as long as I can see Mrs. Conklin this weekend."
John agreed that they could meet and discuss this. In the end, John knew it would make Paula happy to discuss this with Mandy. He knew that he had fulfilled his promise to Paula to tell his sister about everything.
Mandy was still somewhat excited about everything. She realized that she was a little turned on and she knew that was not a good thing, but she could not help the feeling. Perhaps this is what her brother was going through, but in a different way. John got up off the bed to leave when Mandy stopped him.
"Um John....I think you're forgetting something."
John turned around and saw his sister hand extended to him, holding the light green silk french cut panties she had been wearing that day. John thought she must be okay with all of this if she was continuing to give him her underware. For some reason, that thought made his groin stir a little and it puzzled him. He figured he better take the panties and leave before something else became too obvious. He thanked her as he took the panties from her hand.
"Oh, and John," Mandy said as John opened the door. "Is there anything else you did not tell me that you want me to know before I talk with Mrs. Conklin?"
John thought hard for a few seconds about it, and wonder if he had told her everything. After a little while, he remembered a detail that he left out. It was a critical detail that he knew would change everything else from this point on. Something that would effectively end his existence in his sisters eyes, and in many ways to himself as well.
"Yes, there is one other thing," John said as he turned back around to face his sister. He swallowed hard one more time. "My name....my name is not John." He took a breath. "My name is Julia."
He turned and left the room.
More to come....