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"A Tough lesson learned. Part Three"
by Danny D
We went to the beach Saturday afternoon, surfed and met up with friends. There was a party that night. Ryan said we'd be there.
It was a party attended by a lot of guys on different school teams, their girlfriends and cheerleaders. I hung around with friends, smoked some weed, drank a beer. Ryan took off with a two girls and another guy we knew. He said he'd be back in `a few' and I should wait for him.
Later, Jeff showed up. He smiled and nodded toward me, but stayed away. He was hitting on a girl.
Most of the time, I hung out with Michael, my good friend and teammate. He was also a good student and kind of a nerd, but one of the nicest guys I knew and into girls. Unfortunately, the girls he was attracted to (girls like Lisa) weren't into swimmers and nerds. They were mostly into football, baseball and basketball players - the sports that men play.
Other guys from the swim team were hanging out. Later, Kevin showed up. Kevin was the senior on the swim team that Ryan knew and whom he and I thought was gay. I had never been nervous around him before, but I felt my heart quicken as he smiled at me.
I thought most people would think he was attractive. I thought so. He was as tall as me and his body was much like mine Ð smooth, broad shoulders, rounded pecs, tight abs and small waist. And he had a nice ass. But he seemed like, what my dad would call, `full of himself'. A quality my dad thought was a sign of insecurity and low self-esteem. He'd say, "If you have to put on a show for people and remind them how great you are, the only person you're fooling is yourself." That would fit Kevin. But it didn't stop me from wondering what it would be like to be in his arms and in his ass.
I listened to him tell everyone about how he was sure he'd get into Stanford, but wasn't sure he'd go there. His hope was to go Ivy League. I tried to imagine him sucking on my `Ivy League' cock. Then I admonished myself. I'm just being a prick, I thought, because his father was a graduate of Stanford and Kevin would probably get in hands down and I'd never get in. Not a COPs son. Don't envy others what they have, my dad would say. If you want it, fight for it.
"Hey," Kevin said to me. "Is your brother here?" They were classmates and knew each other since grade school. He also surfed.
"He was. He took off. But he'll be back."
"With some girl?"
"Yeah, a couple of girls and a guy."
"Wow, I didn't know he was into that kind of shit."
"I didn't say he was into anything."
"No. I mean, good for him. Sounds hot." He asked a lot more about Ryan. What he did during the summer. Where he was applying to college. Was he dating anyone special. I wondered why he was so interested in Ryan. I quickly became bored with him and looked for a way to make my break.
Michael motioned to me. I said, "Gotta go," to Kevin.
"They're smoking some good shit outside," Michael said.
"Thanks." We walked outside.
"Was he hitting on you?"
"What? Who?"
"Kevin. Someone told me he's gay and that he thought you were hot."
I felt lightheaded. "No. He was asking about Ryan."
Michael laughed. "Yeah, well, he doesn't have much more chance with him than with you."
I was sure my face was bright red.
We walked into the backyard and found friends standing in a tight circle. I bet there are a lot of things guys do standing in a circle and none of them are what they'd tell their parents about. They made room for Michael and me.
"Hey Danny," James said. I was surprised, pleasantly surprised to see James. His parents divorced. He lived with his mother, stepfather and sister. He was originally from the east coast, but his mother remarried and then moved to San Diego. He spent most of the summer with his father. "It's good to see you," he said with that far away look and smile Ð big smile.
"Hey, Jamie," I said. I called him Jamie. He was in my class and a teammate. He was the new guy in the ninth grade. It's a tough thing to come into a high school where everyone knew each other from mid-school. We had algebra and biology together and went out for the swim team. He and I bonded quickly. We're both the shy quiet wallflower kind of guys.
He put his arm around me and pulled me into him. We hugged. He passed me the joint. "It's good shit," he said and smiled. I smiled. He was high. He kept looking at me as I took a hit and then another. I passed the joint to Michael. I glanced at Jamie. He was still looking at me and smiling. "Danny, it is good to see you."
You know how it is when guys are high. They stare, they smile, they repeat themselves. I chuckled. "Good to see you too. You're wasted."
He laughed. "Who me. No. It's just good to see you."
"He's wasted," one of the guys said.
"No more for you," I said, "just for a while."
I took another hit or two and then left the circle with Jamie. We went into the house, grabbed a couple of bottles of water and a handful of chips and sat on the front steps. Jamie rambled on about the time he spent with his father. It was not a good time. And it was `good to see me'. We talked. I laughed. He slowly came down.
"We have to get to the pool. Have you been? I really haven't been for almost six weeks." He and I were on the JV relay team. His best race was the butterfly and mine was freestyle Ð that's what we did on the relay team. He and I would be trying out for the varsity team this year. I was pretty sure we'd make it only because the varsity team was made up of a lot of seniors last year who had graduated. "We can make each other get up and workout like we did last year."
"Yeah, I guess," I said. God, did I hate getting up early. Especially, when it's to get into a cold pool of water.
"You don't want to go with me?"
"It's not you. I just hate getting up at 5:30. You're the only reason I'd do it," I said and then felt my face tingle and warm.
"Good. Let's start Monday."
"I don't think the pool is open on Monday. But we can check on Monday during school to find out when they're going to open the pool."
"Okay, cool." He looked at me. "It's so good to see you."
I laughed.
I saw Ryan drive up. The two girls weren't with them. "Hey Jamie," Ryan said.
"Hey Ryan,"
"What did you do with the girls?" I asked.
David, the guy that Ryan left with, said, "We wore them out." He rubbed my head as he walked by me and went inside.
"I'm going to say good bye to some people. Then you want to leave?" Ryan asked me.
"Yeah, sure."
"Can you drop me off?" James asked.
"No problem," Ryan said.
"Your brother is cool," James said.
We walked to the car. "Are you sober?" I asked Ryan. My dad's most important rule, one never to be broken, was drinking or being high and not driving. He said if we weren't sober we should call a cab and he would pick up the car the next day, no questions asked. "I haven't had anything for the last two hours. I'm fine."
We drove Jamie home. "I'll see you on Monday," he said.
As we drove away, Ryan said, "He's nice." I nodded. "Good looking," he said. "Nice body. What's his package like," he said and smiled.
"Fuck you. Like I check it out."
He laughed and then laughed harder. I laughed too. "Actually, it's kind of nice. He's cut, trimmed and he has a nice butt."
Ryan smiled.
"Shut up."
"Is he dating anyone?"
"No. But he's straight." Ryan looked at me. "At least I'm pretty sure he is."
"Yeah, and I bet he's pretty sure you are."
Silence.
"I felt bad leaving you there," he said.
"Why? You've left me before. I was fine. Jamie and I smoked some good shit and then sat and talked."
"I don't know." He looked at me. "The four of us were in the same room."
"The four of you messed around with each other?"
"No. No, not at all," he insisted. "I mean the lights were out. I really couldn't see much of anything. Just a lot of moaning and groaning and `fuck me baby', shit."
"So why did you feel bad? You've done that before."
"Yeah, I know. I don't know. I think I just liked it more with you there." I glanced at him. "Maybe in a few years when I have a girlfriend and you have a boyfriend we can get together and, well, not fuck the same person, but"
I smiled. "That would be funny. Me fucking some guy and you fucking some girl and them saying, oh yeah, fuck me harder baby."
"Fuck me harder Jamie, fuck me harder," he said. We laughed. "It was kind of fun with Lisa and with Jeff."
"Mostly with Jeff," I said.
He laughed. "Yeah, as soon as I said that I thought you'd think that." Silence. "You going to jerk off when we get home?" he asked, casually. He had never asked me that before.
"I guess, yeah, why?" I said feeling embarrassed.
He chuckled. "Oh Jamie, Oh Jamie."
"Asshole. I'm never telling you anything."
"I'm starved. But after I get something to eat, I could get into my hand." He glanced at me as he pulled into the driveway. "I think there's turkey and stuff. You want to make sandwiches?"
"Yeah, sure. I can always eat."
"Then you want to have a wank?"
"Yeah. I haven't come since last night. That makes me overdue."
He laughed.
We made turkey and cheese sandwiches with lettuce, tomatoes and mayo, sat outside and ate. Harley sat and stared. When I was near done, I tossed her the rest of my sandwich. "Remember three or four years ago we'd play jerk off games," I asked.
"Yeah, sure."
"Then we just stopped. I mean I knew you were still jerking off. I could hear you sometimes and I walked in on you too."
"Yeah, so." Silence. "If you're feeling weird about jerking off together."
"No. Not at all. It was great the other night."
"But?" he said.
"No but. I like that you're okay with it. I think I thought we stopped because you might have figured that I was gay and that it made you feel weird. I had an idea or wondered if you and Jeff jerked off together. Not the other stuff. But I was sure he was straight. So, I thought you stopped with me and started with him because of that."
He stared at me while. I stared into the backyard. I turned my head and looked at him. My stomach roiled. I felt sad. "I guess I thought I kind of creeped you out."
"Creeped me out?" he said sounding angry.
"Not about anything else. Never about anything else at all. I mean you were always the same with everything and we even got to be better friends. I mean you took me every place and you always walked around naked and stuff. So, not really creeped out. But." I sighed.
"I get it," he said. I glanced at him. He said, "I didn't stop because I thought you were gay." He sat silently. "I guess I stopped, or we stopped because I just got into doing it alone or watching porn and doing it." More silence. "Maybe us being brothers had something to do with it too." More silence. "I didn't really ever jerk off with Jeff. It pretty much started with him blowing me on a dare." More silence. "You're still my brother, but you're also more than that. You're like my closest friend. I mean I trust you and you know everything about me and I know pretty much everything about you."
"You know everything."
"Yeah, so, it's like I trust you absolutely. And I guess it just feels comfortable. I mean I still intent to jerk off alone and will probably do it alone a lot when school starts." He smiled. So did I. "But I think we could jerk off together once in a while too. It's kind of nice to share that." More silence. "Yeah, before it was like playing games. Now it feels like we're sharing something very personal. I guess that's weird."
I said, "I don't think it is. I guess it's a little kinky, but no more kinky than jerking off with a friend. I mean you're my best friend too."
"It's always going to be hard for you to believe that I'm comfortable, isn't it?"
"No." Silence. "I guess it is a little for now."
"I'll believe you're comfortable when you suggest we jerk off."
"What do you mean?" I said.
"I did last time and I just did again. I bet you wouldn't have."
He was right.
Silence.
"Let's go jerk off," I said and chuckled.
He laughed.
I went into my room and undressed and then went into his room, my hard cock swinging back and forth. He was naked and sitting at his computer. "I have to show you something. This is really amazing."
I went back to my room and returned with my desk chair and sat beside him. He started a video. A young guy about eighteen was sitting on his bed jerking off. Then he scooted down, threw his legs over his head and licked the head of his dick. "I can do that," I said.
"Watch."
Moments later, half his cock was deep into his mouth. He rocked and sucked. He pulled on his balls and licked them. "Fuck," I said. Ryan was rubbing his cock. I was rubbing mine. The guy started thrusting into his own mouth. He moaned, pulled his cock from his mouth and held it about an inch away and began dropping his load onto his tongue. Then he swallowed and licked cum off his cock.
"Fuck," I said.
Ryan smiled and kept stroking. We watched it again. "There's this other one," he said. "Watch this." A tall, lean attractive guy was standing in a room jerking off.
"He's got a big cock," I said.
"Watch."
The guy moaned and then started shooting his load. It arched across the room and hit the opposite wall. "No way. Fuck," I said. "How the fuck can he do that?" He just kept coming.
"Can you believe that shit?" Ryan said.
"Let me show you one," I said. I went to this gay site where there was free porn and scrolled until I got to a video. I clicked on it. A young guy is in a pool jerking off. He starts to come. "Count the shots," I said.
We counted. "Oh my God, that's over twenty shots and he's still going. How the fuck? That's got to be trick photography. They must have it on a loop."
"I don't think so. Watch it closely. You can see the cum floating in the pool water." We started it again. We watched it closely. Ryan even put his finger to the screen and followed a glob of cum as the guy kept shooting.
"Fuck, Jeff would be in heaven," Ryan said.
We smiled at each other.
I showed him a video of a guy sitting in a chair, jerking off and shooting over his shoulder and then onto his face. "I can do that if I haven't cum in a day or two," Ryan said.
"Yeah, me too."
He smiled at me. "Let's go for it."
I laughed. "So like a game."
"Well, it's not really fair. I just came a while ago. Maybe if I build a load."
"So, build a load. I've got more cool jerk off videos."
We sat and watched video after video. He showed me some of his favorite straight porn. I showed him some of my favorite gay porn. He'd get himself close and stop. I did the same.
"Okay. Who goes first?" I said.
"You," he said.
I sat back in my chair and stroked my cock while I held my balls. As I felt my climax start, I squeezed my butt cheeks, thrust forward and let my cum fly. The first shot hit my face and hair. The second shot went over my shoulder and onto his floor. The third shot hit me on the noise and mouth as did a couple other shots. The rest landed on my chest. I relaxed my body and looked at him.
He chuckled. "You've got it on your mouth and hanging from your noise."
I licked my lips clean and wiped my noise and licked it off my fingers. "Your turn."
He reached over and with his index finger pushed a gob on cum from my right cheek to my mouth. I licked his finger. He smiled. "Tastes good?"
I nodded and scooped up some from my chest and licked my fingers clean.
Ryan got up and said, "I never thought I'd let anyone see me do this."
"What?"
He lay on his bed, threw his feet over his head and against his headboard so that his cock was directly over his mouth. He pressed down. "I can't get any closer than this," he said with his cock about an inch from his mouth. He began stroking. "Have you ever done this?"
"Yes," I said, kneeling beside his bed.
"Some time you'll have to let me see you." He was stroking hard. He moaned and opened his mouth and put out his tongue. My heart pounded with excitement and my cock went from semi hard to fully erect. Streams of cum hit his tongue and rolled down his throat. He swallowed and swallowed again.
"Fuck, that was hot," I said. "I never thought straight guys did that."
He looked at me. "I bet most guys, gay or straight, have tasted their cum. They just won't admit it."
"I can do it now, if you want."
"Now?" he said lying flat on this bed.
"Well, not right now, but if we watch more porn, I can pretty soon." I stood up. He glanced at my hard on and chuckled.
We went from site to site checking out different videos for about a half hour. Then I got on his bed, rolled into a ball with my feet over my head and licked the pre cum from my cock. "Fuck," he said, "I wish I could do that."
"It really doesn't feel like anything," I said. I started stroking. I was close. Then I opened my mouth wide and dropped my load onto my tongue and swallowed.
He smiled at me. "You know all my secrets," he said, getting on the bed beside me. "And I guess I know all of yours."
"No guessing. You do."
We lay beside each other talking for over an hour. When I got up to go to bed, I said, "You still owe me."
"What?"
"Shoot over your head and onto your face," I said and smiled.
He laughed. "Sure. Just let me build a nice big load."
The next morning I got up, put on a pair of boxers, peed, brushed my teeth and walked into the kitchen. Still half asleep, I stared at my dad and Ryan sitting at the table, reading the Sunday paper and drinking coffee.
My dad said, "You hung over?"
"Me?" I stared at him. "No. I really didn't have anything to drink last night."
"He looks like that every morning," Ryan said and smiled. My dad smiled and nodded.
"Eat me," I said. "What's for breakfast?" I heard Harley bark. She was in the backyard. I walked to the door.
"Let her stay outside," my dad said. "She begs."
Ryan looked at me, giving me that `it's because you feed her' look. I gave him the finger.
I poured myself cereal and milk and cut up a banana and sat at the table. As I ate, my dad put down the paper and said, "So, we're back to the school schedule and rules."
"Rules?" I said.
I glanced up and him. He was staring at me. "Oh yeah, rules."
Ryan laughed.
"No beach except one weekend day." He looked at Ryan. "Just because this is your senior year doesn't mean you can screw off. You're applying to colleges and if they're not sure about you, they'll ask to see your senior grades before they decide. You better bring home the grades or no beach."
"Yes, sir," Ryan said.
"And that goes double for you, Mister."
"Double. How do you double A's?" I said, shaking my head
He stared at me.
I shoveled cereal into my mouth. I can be even-tempered and polite, most of the time, but mornings are not one of those times. And there's this thing I've got going with my father. Ryan pushes the limits with getting drunk, hiding weed in the house and bringing girls home when Dad isn't home. Dad really gets on him at times, but Ryan never sasses back. Ryan is always even in his tone and respectful. I, on the other hand, am the good kid but I sass him and give him attitude. And, of course, I give Harley what my dad says is `food that is for humans'.
My father said, "And I don't want dope in the house." I glanced at Ryan. "I've left your stash alone for the summer." I chuckled. "You thought I wouldn't see it in the attic." I laughed and pointed at him. "The camping gear, our ski stuff and my fishing stuff is up there."
"Ah, I,"
"Yeah, well I left it alone, but that ends. No dope in the house and that means not hidden in your dirty socks Ð I do the wash and put the laundry away. No hiding it under your mattress. I change the sheets. Believe me, any hiding place you can think of, I thought of when I was your age. And no going out on school nights. You're in the house by dinnertime and no visitors."
"Visitors?" I said. "Visitors. Really? My friends are visitors now."
He stared at me. "And what would you call them?"
"Friends. So, if I'm studying with Michael or Jamie." I noticed Ryan glance at me. I glared at him. I do that too in the morning. "Does that count as visitors?"
My father said. "Study sessions are fine. But your brother doesn't have people over to study with. You do. If you're going to study, fine, but if it's for another reason, it's a no. Am I clear?" he said directly to me.
"And you. The same goes for you," he said to Ryan.
"Got it." Ryan said.
"Loud and clear," I said and nodded, "Roger dodger, over and out." I didn't look up. I just kept staring at my bowl. He put something in front of me. I looked at it. It was a large box of condoms. I felt my face tingle. I knew I was blushing.
"I gave your brother a box last year and I told him what I'm about to tell you." I looked at him and swallowed hard. "From your face, I take it you either have no need for them yet or have been buying your own." I didn't say a word. He said, "You are to use them. You are not to have sex, other than with your hand, and not have one on. If you use all of them and you feel uncomfortable walking into a drug store and buying more, then ask your brother who I am sure is quit comfortable or ask me. But under no circumstances are you to fuck anyone without one on."
He kept staring at me. I said, "Okay, okay. Thank you."
Ryan picked up the box, looked at it and said, "He got you the good kind. Trojan Ecstasy. They're tight at the base so they stay on and they kind of balloon out so they fit loose and you kind of flop around in them. They have ribbing and they are lubed." He looked at me and smiled. "Do you know how to put one on?"
"Shut up."
"If you need help, I'll show you," Ryan said. He opened the box and looked inside. "There's six boxes in here." He pulled one out. "Each box has ten condoms." He put the box back inside the larger box. "That should last you a month."
My dad stared at me.
"He's bull shitting," I said.
"He better be. That better last you at least two months." He smiled. "Kidding aside. Keep it in your pants, but if not,"
"I got it," I said. "Wrap it in rubber."
"Exactly," my dad said.
I shook my head. "I can't believe we're having this conversation over breakfast."
Ryan, who was sitting beside me, leaned back in his chair and glanced under the table at my crotch. "I bet you're not going to be standing up real soon. He's boned," he said to my dad.
My cock was hard and pressing up against my boxers. I wished I had jeans on or at least boxer briefs. I glared at Ryan.
My dad chuckled. "When I was sixteen, a hole in the wall turned me on."
Ryan laughed.
I said, "You're both gross."
I put my spoon in my bowl and pick it up, stood and walked to the sink. I washed my bowl and put it and the spoon in the dishwasher. I could see them both staring at the tent my cock made in my boxers. I made no effort to hide it. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction. If they wanted to look, let them, I thought.
As I walked across the kitchen, I said, "I'm going to take a shower."
Ryan laughed. "A loooooooong shower."
I heard my dad say to Ryan, "Maybe I should have gotten the larger size."
"Shut up," I yelled.
They laughed.