Sent: Sat, August 4, 2007 4:03 pm
A THOUSAND LOVES, ONE LOVE by Andrej Koymasky (C) 2007 written on October 25, 1993 translated by the author English text kindly revised by John
USUAL DISCLAIMER
"A THOUSAND LOVES, ONE LOVE" is a gay story, with some parts containing graphic scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion, family, opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be better not to read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't care, or because you think you really want to read it, please be my welcomed guest.
CHAPTER 9 - Again together
Matteo, on one of his free days, went to see a rugby match of Dick's boys against another Auckland high school. After the match they met.
"Did you look at number 28 and 52 as I told you?" Dick asked him.
"Yes, handsome boys, both of them."
"They are the two I talked to you about. I have the feeling that both are discretely chasing after me. Of course I don't encourage them, but it is becoming more and more difficult."
"But when they will complete the high school they would be no more your students, so things could also change, couldn't they? So you could also meet, and then..."
"Yes, I also thought of that. One will end his studies in one year and the other in two. They almost certainly will be signed up by Auckland team, both of them. And I'm afraid we'll lose sight of them."
"You can set a bait for them. Tell them to come and see you after they leave. Made them understand you are really interested in them..."
"Yes, possibly. Perhaps a little nearer their graduation... I will see."
"Which one do you like better?"
"The older one, 28. You should see him at the showers. He is a splendour. His name is Devon and he's the son of the chief of city police. And in spite being so beautiful, so virile, he's one of the few not having a girlfriend. On the contrary Neil, 52, has a girlfriend. But that could also just be a... screen. In my opinion they are both gay."
"Do you like only young boys?"
"Well. Not too young. I prefer boys your age. But when they are well developed... And Devon already has the body of an adult. Also his character is more adult than his age."
"In other words, you lost your head over him..." Matteo said, with a smile.
"I really think so. But for now, nothing to be done. I can't afford losing my job again just to have sex with one of my students. And then, at least for the moment, I have you. I feel very good with you, Matteo. I like your way to make love. It is true, Latins are hot just as it is said. Even if I know I will lose you when you find your friend."
"Oh, it's not certain I can succeed. And also if I find him, it's not at all certain he still wants me. Anyway, I too fit well with you. We aren't lovers, that's true, but we are very good friends. I don't know what I would have done, if I didn't meet you. I really owe you a lot."
On the evening they went together to see a movie, then to have supper, and then the went back to the YMCA where they seldom used both rooms for the night. Matteo was spending almost all his nights in his friend Dick's bed, as also that night. They didn't have sex every time, even though quite often. At times they just liked to fall asleep together, in a half embrace, almost so as not to feel too lonely.
The following morning Matteo went to work as usual. Around eleven a.m. the pub started to be crowded, that day even more than usual. Matteo liked doing that work, and he was starting to recognize the habitual patrons. He had learned the small tricks of the trade, he was fast and solicitous and his handsome appearance, his smiling face, made him appreciated by the patrons. Also his English had become much more fluent and he had learned the local idioms.
Around 12:30 the premises were really crowded and Matteo was serving the numerous patrons fast and efficiently. Many were now calling him by his name with the usual familiarity of the habitués. So, when he heard he was called for the umpteenth time, he quietly answered, without looking, "Just a moment!" and finished filling the three beer tankards for the customers he was serving. Then he turned saying "Yes?" searching with his eyes whoever had called him.
And then he remained as if thunderstruck, quite still, looking in Giuliano's eyes.
"You?" he then murmured, in Italian.
"Yes, I came..." Giuliano answered.
"Wait a moment..." Matteo said, his heart on his mouth.
He went near the owner and asked him if he could leave the counter just for five minutes.
"Right now?" the man asked him, annoyed.
"Something really urgent. Just for five minutes. Please..." Matteo insisted.
"Alright. But hurry up. You see how fast we have to run, don't you?"
Matteo went out from the counter and drew near Giuliano, "Let's go outside for a moment... I have just a few minutes, now. So... you received my letter..." he said while they were going out.
"Yes. I came immediately, yesterday, but it was your free day."
"They didn't tell me that yesterday you came."
"No, I didn't ask them to tell you. I just asked if you were there... How long have you been here?"
"In Auckland? About one year, as I wrote to you. And I searched for you all that time..."
"And finally you have found me..."
"Giuliano... I have now very little time, I have to go inside. Can't we meet later?"
"What time do you finish here?"
"At four."
"And I at six. I have now to go back to work. I have skipped lunch to come... Where can I find you at 6:30?"
"Here, if it suits you."
"Alright."
"Are you still... angry with me?" Matteo asked.
"No, but we will talk about that later"
"Thank you for coming to look for me."
"See you later, Matteo." Giuliano said and left.
They had not touched, not even lightly, not even to shake hands. Both had felt a light embarrassment to see each other again. But Matteo was feeling excited, happy, uncertain but eager to meet him again. He saw him get into a black convertible parked nearby, and saw him drive away. He hoped that Giuliano would wave him a good bye gesture, while going away, but the young man didn't even turn back to look at him. Matteo went back into the pub and resumed his work.
Four p.m. arrived quite soon but then, until six thirty time seemed never to pass. Matteo was feeling nervous, tense. And he finally saw Giuliano enter the pub. He stood up and went to meet him.
"Do you want to stay here or to go out?" Matteo asked him, the heart on his mouth.
"No, let's go out. So that we can talk in peace. Come, I've my car here round the corner. Let's go to the park."
Matteo followed him. All long the road they didn't speak. Matteo was spying on Giuliano'e expression. He was serious and seemed intent on driving. He parked along the park. They got out and penetrated its winding paths, until they found an empty and quite secluded bench. So there they sat down.
"Giuliano... you really have forgiven me?" then Matteo asked the heart again in his mouth.
"Yes, sure. But... things have changed. I... I love another boy, now."
"Ah, I see. Therefore... I came for nothing."
"It's not my fault. I thought you had made your choice."
"Yes, sure. And if you love each other... of course there isn't room for me."
"I can't say I don't feel nothing more for you, Matteo. If I was not with Scott, I think I would stay with you again, at once. But now there is Scott, and I love him..."
"And he loves you, differently from me in Rome..."
"Yes, Scott loved me."
"He... loved you? I don't understand... Didn't you tell me that you are now with him?"
"Yes. But the fact is that about seven months ago now... Scott had a very serious car accident and since then... he is in a coma."
"In a coma? You mean that for seven months..."
"Yes, he hasn't yet come to his senses. He is clinically healed. His fractures have joined, his wounds closed, his skin regenerated. But not even the slightest sign after that horrible accident. He has not even the smallest scar, just think... But he's fed through tubes and he's there, on the bed, lifeless. He doesn't absolutely react to any stimulus. And so, I haven't any choice but to wait..."
"Good Lord, it's terrible! What do the doctors say?"
"He could come back to us from one moment to another... as well as in months... or even never. They too are not able to find an explanation. He is healthy, totally healthy, and yet... he isn't here... It is horrible, yes."
"And you, all these seven months..."
"I'm living with him. I hire three nurses so that he is watched day and night. At first I waited for him... now... I'm still waiting but... I miss him. Also physically I miss him. Do you understand? For a while, I resisted, but then couldn't any more. So... every now and then I pay a hustler... Even your closeness, now, is arousing me..."
"Yes, I can understand. It is difficult being for a long time without a physical contact, especially when, as for us both, we have a rather... lively sexuality. I don't think you have to be ashamed of it."
"The first times I felt guilty, it's true. Now... I know I love him, therefore I still wait, but... I don't want, I cannot be bound with another. I still desire you, Matteo, and honestly I would like very much having the possibility to again make love with you. But I cannot tell you any more that I'm in love with you. The day when Scott opens his eyes, I know I would at once be back with him."
"Certainly... but... I desire you too."
"Even after what I just told you?"
"Yes, Giuliano."
"Even knowing that I cannot give you any hope?"
"It's not your fault. It's my fault. But I would like very much if I could stay with you again, at least as long as it is possible. I've been searching for you for months, and I've been wanting you."
"Buy now you... you are in love with me."
"Yes, that's so. But exactly because I love you, I'm ready to accept your conditions. And also for you... why with a hustler? We, at least, we can be friends."
"But... when Scott comes out of his coma?"
"I hope we can remain good friends, even if any physical sex will have to stop."
"You would really be ready, Matteo, to stay with me at these conditions?"
"Yes, sure. Do you still want me with you, at least until he comes out of his coma?"
"Yes... I told you, I desire you. As soon as I saw you again, this morning, I at once felt my desire for you awaken. But... it would not be fair towards you."
"It's me asking you that, Giuliano. At least I will not have abandoned everything for nothing. I will not have waited and hoped one year long, all for nothing..."
"He can even recover his senses tomorrow, for what I know..."
"Well... at least I will have spent one more night with you... I'm game; it's alright with me."
Giuliano looked in his eyes for a long time, in silence.
"So, then... come with me..."
"At his home?"
"Yes. I'm using the other bedroom."
"I have a room at the YMCA."
"You can leave it, if you want. At least as long as we can live together."
"I work there at the pub..."
"I can take you there every morning. The house is out of town. A very beautiful cottage, near the sea shore. If you want we can go now at you place to take all your belongings and to give up the room, then you can move to my place..."
"Then, you really want me?"
"Yes, sure..."
Giuliano drove him to the YMCA. Matteo went first to say goodbye to Dick and briefly told him what had happened. He promised him he would call him, he would stay in touch with him. He went to gather all his belongings from his room, prepared the luggage and loaded it all into Giuliano's car. He went to give up his room and paid the last fees. Then he got into the car and Giuliano drove away.
They stopped along the road to have supper. Then they went to Scott and Giuliano's cottage. Matteo settled his belongings.
"Let's hit the bed..." Giuliano proposed.
"I would... I would like to see you friend, before."
"As you want. Come, then."
Giuliano lead Matteo in Scott's bedroom. He made a greeting gesture to the nurse and asked him if there was something new.
Meanwhile Matteo had drew near the bed and looked at the poor young man. He contemplated him for a long time. He was covered with a sheet and only his pale, serene face was visible, resting on a white pillow. The sheet, well spread, barely outlined his body's shape. It seemed as he was relaxed in a light sleep. His breath was regular and rhythmically raised the white sheet very slightly. The face was beautiful, of a pure and sweet beauty. His long, closed eyelashes, his regular features, hit the boy. After some moments, Giuliano touched Matteo's arm.
"Let's go, now." He said.
"But he feels absolutely nothing?" Matteo asked, unbelieving.
"No, he is totally unconscious. Let's go now, come on..."
"Poor boy... he is so beautiful..."
"Yes... but of a beauty... so distant, now. Let's go..."
They went back to Giuliano's bedroom. They undressed in silence and lied on the bed. Matteo embraced Giuliano.
"You are suffering very much, aren't you?" he gently asked.
"I'm adapting myself. One gets used to everything, it's life."
"Poor Scott... But at least he seems not to suffer."
"Who knows where he is? Who knows if he will ever come back?"
Matteo caressed his friend's body, trying to bring him some comfort. But gradually his caresses became, almost unconsciously, more intimate and their bodies awakened to desire. Giuliano started at his turn to caress Matteo. Their excitement little by little strengthened. They searched for each other, in silence. Giuliano almost clung to Matteo, who kissed him on his mouth, in a sweet and intimate way, for a long while. Their tongues were searching each other, unceasingly, their breaths mixed.
Their erections pushed up each against the other. They had met again, they were mutually recognizing, they desired each other.
They started to kiss the other's body, all over, thirsty for each other, thirsty for the original pleasure they were used to giving each other. They came almost simultaneously to join their firm members with their desirous mouths. They were giving each other and receiving pleasure as in an endless circle, made of their connected bodies.
Then Giuliano began to explore with his gentle and quivering fingers, insistent and determined, his friend's hole, so expressing also the intensity of his desire.
Matteo parted from him and turned on his side, so offering himself. Giuliano, he too on his side behind his newly found friend, inserted his legs between Matteo's and leaning against him, made his shaft slip between Matteo's buttocks and groping his way searched for his hot entrance. Matteo moved slightly to comply with that impetuous search and pushed against him. He felt it show itself, shy but strong, felt it push more and more decidedly and relaxed to receive it. He felt it penetrate, sink inside his hot channel, sink completely inside him.
Giuliano seized his hips and started to move inside him in a calm and self-assured rhythm.
"Yes, I recognize it..." Matteo thought, pleased and excited.
He could recognize the way his former lover used to take him, and was happy. He was again in his arms, again united with him, even if possibly not forever. He would enjoy him as long as it was possible, whether for a short or a long time.
Giuliano occupied him for a long time, with no hurry, enjoying the body he had loved and that was anyway still not at all uninteresting to him. He was rather grateful and, inside his heart, he accepted giving himself to Matteo on his conditions. And he thought that Matteo was way better than the best of the hustlers, because besides sex and enjoyment, Matteo was giving him also human warmth and affection.
While his pleasure was increasing, Giuliano began to lose his calm. He started to give more determined, vigorous strokes but without becoming violent - he was still feeling tenderness for Matteo, as he had felt for Scott...
And when he unloaded inside his friend, trembling and shuddering, the luminous images of Matteo and Scott merged in one in the dazzled mind of Giuliano.
When he retrieved his calm, Giuliano moved so that he could take again in his mouth the still firm member of his friend and worked it until he felt it was again hard as rock, as he knew that the beautiful rod of Matteo could become. He then offered himself on his turn, going first on all fours.
Matteo knelt at his back, between his well-parted knees, and took him with tender determination.
Then Matteo embraced him, leaning with his chest over his back, teasing his already hard nipples with his hands, his cheek on his back, between his shoulder blades, and started to roll his pelvis so that his rock-hard pole started to slip in and out of the welcoming love tunnel.
Giuliano was making his sphincter tighten in a rhythm, so accompanying and exalting his friend's movements and his enjoyment. Giuliano very much liked being taken in that way. But no, he really liked to be taken in every position, by Matteo, as he had liked it with Scott! He had never been aware, until that moment, how much the two boys used the same style of making love with him.
Matteo held on tightly to him with more energy and accelerated his rhythm and Giuliano felt that his friend was almost ready to fill him with his seed. He awaited the magic moment with pleasure, felt his friend shudder with growing intensity, giving him uncoordinated strokes and finally unload inside him in a fast set of vigorous pushes.
They remained still for a long while, Matteo well embedded in his friend, until his heart resumed beating at a regular rhythm and his breath calmed down. They laid on the bed. Matteo's member slipped out of the channel he had just conquered again, but they remained embraced.
"Thank you..." Giuliano murmured.
"Thank you to you for accepting me again." Matteo sweetly answered.
"From the last time with Scott I haven't felt so much pleasure."
"Do you miss him very much?"
"Now that you are here, much less, I think. But I miss him, yes... But you and he, you have such a similar way of making love..."
"Possibly... possibly because we both love you..." Matteo whispered, caressing him.
"But I, now, I love Scott..."
"Yes, I know. He didn't abandon you as I did..."
"In his own way... he too abandoned me..."
"That's different. For me it was a stupid choice, but not for him."
"Aren't you jealous of Scott? Of my love for him?"
"No. I've asked for it. I have only myself to reproach."
"Yes, you have only yourself to reproach." Giuliano repeated, but without hardness or reproach in his voice.
Matteo bought a bike to be able to go back home after work, without having to wait two and a half hours for Giuliano.
When Giuliano was back home, he went to sit near Scott's bed. He talked a little with the nurse to understand what cares the boy needed, and a times helped him.
A month after he started living in the cottage, Matteo got an idea and talked about it with Giuliano.
"Listen, you are paying three nurses to look after Scott. I thought maybe I can replace two of them, from six in the morning to ten in the evening. And you could give me the pay of just one of them, and it would be more than I'm now earning at the pub..."
"Would you do that? Why? Every day confined here for sixteen hours a day... isn't it too much? Moreover, you aren't a nurse..."
"I saw what they have to do. I too would be able. There is very little to do, all the day long. Change the nutro bottles, move him every now and then, wash him... I really can do it and so you could also save the money of a salary... I would do it more than willingly, for poor Scott. Really."
They discussed it. In the end they decided that Giuliano would have two nurses come for six hours each, instead of eight, and Matteo would look after Scott for the remaining twelve hours, from seven in the morning to seven in the evening. Anyway Giuliano wanted to pay him all the twelve hours. So Matteo resigned from the King's Arms and started to look after Scott and to take care of him.
On the first day, he limited himself to contemplating him. Especially when, having to change his position, he pulled away the sheet from him and saw him naked, and when he had to massage his skin with a special lotion to keep it firm and elastic.
He left the bed as little as he could, just to go to the toilet, to fix his meals, to answer at the telephone when, once a day Giuliano, or once in a while some of Scott's family, called to have news.
While he was sitting near the bed, Matteo looked at Scott, contemplated him for a while, then later he read a little. As the room was well heated, he kept him uncovered, both to admire his beautiful body and also to wait for just the slightest movement.
But already on the second day he started to talk to him...
"Good Lord, how beautiful you are, Scott! It seems as if you were just sleeping. But when will you awake? I hope soon, even if this would mean, for me, to lose Giuliano again, and for good. He loves you. I wasn't able to deserve his love, do you know?"
He talked to him telling him what he was thinking, or narrating him parts of his life when, in an association of ideas he recalled them. And he always talked with him in Italian, as he anyway thought that Scott could not hear him.
He started to talk to him more and more often, more and more at length. He too didn't know why he did so; he simply did it on instinct.
"It's a pity you cannot hear me, Scott. I would like being able to tell you all these things getting your reaction, an answer from you. I feel you would understand me... even though I don't know why. Your face is so sweet, so pure... You have to be an exceptional boy, yes. I can understand that Giuliano loves you. Not only for the beauty of your body... I would like being able to see your eyes, they have to be limpid like mountain springs."
He also got the habit to read him newspaper articles and to comment them. Of course he read them in English, but he commented on them in Italian. So he started to talk with him at times in Italian, at times in English, as it happened. It was a long soliloquy. But Matteo gradually became aware he had to go on, and also understood the reason - the boy on the bed, even though unconscious, was a real person.
"You have such a fair skin. When I touch you to change your position, or when I have to massage you, I instead feel like caressing you. If I don't do so, it's only because I would feel like taking advantage of you... Yes, it's true, the body isn't all... it's true, I know it. But it is the visible shape of our essence, of our soul, isn't it? And your soul is here, somewhere. Is sleeping? How can it be awakened? If you are so beautiful, you should also have a beautiful soul... Yes, I know, there are also beautiful bodies enclosing not so beautiful souls, and also ugly bodies enclosing wonderful souls. And that is a mystery, for me. But I can feel that it is not so, in your case - also your soul should be wonderful. And I would like also to be able to caress your soul, together with your body... My god! This is almost a love declaration... But... how not to fall in love with you?"
Matteo was speaking freely, expressing his thoughts with a freedom he would not have had with somebody able to listen to him. He talked about serious matters or about trifles, as they arose.
A little before seven Giuliano came back from work and also the nurse who would take over from him..
Once, when Giuliano was already in Scott's room when the nurse arrived, Matteo, standing up and going out, said to Scott, "Bye. I'm going now. See you tomorrow."
Both the nurse and Giuliano looked at him astounded and Giuliano said, "What are you doing? You talk him? That's nonsense, he cannot understand you!"
"Why does it matter? He is a person, isn't he? Perhaps I talk to him so that I don't forget that, I don't know... But we can't, we shouldn't threat him like an object."
"He's a lifeless body." The nurse said.
"Unhappily it's so, it is just a body..." Giuliano said with an accent of deep sadness in his voice.
"No! He's a human being. He has a soul, possibly asleep, that is just not able to communicate with us... and he can even suffer because of that..."
"You are a romantic." Giuliano muttered as they were leaving the room.
While Matteo was fixing the supper for all three, he resumed his discussion with Giuliano.
"I think, on the contrary, it is important to remember he is a human being, a complete man, I mean. It's too easy thinking of him just as an unconscious body, as a beautiful, lifeless doll."
"But that's the reality. Who knows if he will ever recover his senses, unhappily. Or if one day we will find he is dead..."
"But he is not yet dead! This is the important thing. He is still amongst us."
"Or half in this world and half in the other world?"
"And don't you want to pull him completely into this world, if this is the case?"
"Of course I do, if I only knew how to do. But not even the specialists know how to... It is for sure not by speaking to him that you will heal him... He doesn't hear you."
"I don't claim I can heal him. As I told you, I need to talk to him, it's partly for me, not to lose a sense of humanity. It is somewhat like a newborn - he certainly cannot understand, and yet his mother talks to him as if he could understand everything, is it not so?"
"But a newborn reacts., At least he recognizes the sound of his mother's voice. He turn his eyes, he smiles. He moves his little hands, he kicks his legs about... But with Scott... nothing at all. Not a sign, a single sign, not a minimal, imperceptible reaction! Nothing! At times I ask myself if it wouldn't it better for him to die, rather than remaining as he is, forever."
"Better for him, or for you?" Matteo asked him severely.
CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 10
In my home page I've put some more of my stories. If someone wants to read them, the URL is
http://andrejkoymasky.com
If you want to send me feed-back, or desire to help revising my English translations, so that I can put on-line more of my stories in English please e-mail at
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