A Surprise Visit
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I welcome feedback on this story. Also happy to receive messages on my Tumblr page, which a few of you did. Also have enjoyed the correspondence with other faggots as well as Sirs from all over. Always try to respond to you when you contact this faggot. Please e-mail me at kcamsub@gmail.com Go to my Recon account kcam BDSMLR -- kcolderfaggot https://kcolderfaggot.bdsmlr.com/
Also have written a few other stories on here Scout Rob In Charge https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/authoritarian/scout-rob-in-charge/ The Truckers Inn https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/authoritarian/the-truckers-inn Haven and Hell https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/authoritarian/haven-and-hell/
ADDED NOTE To those that followed my earlier stories, I am so sorry that it has taken me this much time to get back into writing. Several things were just taking priorities over the last 11 months and writing took the back seat. Hopefully I will get to writing soon. Thanks for understanding
Kcamsub
A Surprise Visit
I hadn't had a chance to see my son, Jay, since Christmas Break. He was finishing up his junior year at the state university and with about 3 weeks to go before Spring finals, it seemed like a good reason to surprise him. My business trip this time took me close to Springfield and with detour, I could see him. Jay had turned 21 about 2 weeks ago, and this made another great reason to take him, and probably his roommate Jeromy, out to dinner to celebrate.
Jay was about 6 feet 2 inches tall (just about an inch taller than me) with strawberry blond hair. Being a state qualifying swimmer all through high school, he had a strong swimmer's build, which at Christmas seemed to still be there, even though he did not swim in college. His mother and I divorced when he was 12 and she decided that it would be better for him if I took full custody, since Jay was hitting puberty at that time. Within a couple of years, she found someone else and moved, so Jay saw little of her and it was pretty much him and me since then. We had a good relationship and when he decided to come out his senior year as being gay, I think we handled it well. To be honest, I just want him to be happy.
Jay's roommate was a year ahead of him school, but I had learned a few weeks back that he would have take another semester to finish up his degree, so they planned to stay on as roommates in the dorm. Living in the dorm seemed to work for both of them and it was great on my wallet in terms of putting out money for college. Jay was about 5 feet 9 inches tall with a nice build. The two had become very good friends, which was strange since anytime I was around Jeromy he would only talk about his girlfriends and seemed very straight. I don't try to figure out how friendships work, but this one apparently does.
Arriving on campus, I drove to the dorm he lives in. It was one of the oldest dorms there, but I did kind of like it; reminding me of my days in college. A "U-Shape" building with 5 floors each hall with a community/group bathroom located in the middle of the hall. The rooms were your standard rooms; 2 beds, 2 desks etc. Some of the stuff such as internet and even plumbing had been updated, but the floor plan was the original ideas. Technically it was a co-ed dorm, but each hall was designated to a gender due to the bathroom idea and only that gender was allowed on the hall most of the time. The reason I was glad Jay was in this type of dorm, instead of the newer ones with a suite for 4 or 6 is the fact that when I was in school, this forced me to have to meet people and talk. I liked the idea of sharing the community bathroom, just because it made the whole floor seem more unified.
Once on campus, I parked the car and headed to the dorm. Signing in at the front desk, they did want to see my ID. The guy at the desk asked, "Who are you here to see?" with me responding, "Jay Durham on the third floor in room 320. I'm his father and was in town and I thought I would surprise him." He looked at me with a raised eyebrow; almost like some how telling me that it was going to be a surprise, but for whom.
Reaching Jay's hall, I knew he was in the very last room of the hall. The room was just a bit larger than others and could have 3 people stay in it if necessary, but they enjoyed having the room for the two of them. Walking down the hall, I could tell the first couple of rooms were freshmen. Just by their dorkiness it was so obvious. One freshman was running between rooms in just his tighty whity underwear briefs. Even as a straight man, I was rather taken by the size of bulge that young man was showing, and I was sure he was `popular' at times. When I reached the community bathroom, the door flung open and I bumped into the very nice young man in his early 20s, wearing nothing but the towel over his shoulder. He was naked as a jay bird with a nice cock to add.
"Sorry man," the young man said.
"No problem"
"Can I help ya?"
"Heading to 320. I'm Jay Durham's father."
"Well Mr. Durham, it's at the end of the hall on your left."
"No Mr. Durham', please. Call me Dave and thanks for the info." I already knew where I was going, but he didn't need to know that. And the Mr. Durham' thing; I never liked any of Jay's friends to call me Mr. Durham. It was always Dave.
"Well, nice to meet you Dave," sticking his hand out which I shook. He turned without giving me his name and started walking in the direction of Jay's room. As he walked, I was almost hypnotized by this man's ass. It was so nice and round with just some hair on it; but a great looking crack with hair. He stopped about 2 doors from Jay's and turned to open it. As he started to enter, he turned back to me.
"Hey Dave, enjoy your time with Jay."
Not sure if I heard him, because as he turned, his cock had started to get hard and was about 2/3s erect. It was looking very impressive; even more than before. I just was staring at this man's cock. He then winked at me and said, "have fun."
After coming out of my daze from that cock, I finally reached Jay's door. I did a quick knock on it, because I just didn't want to burst in totally out of the blue. I quickly heard a reply to `come in', but it was Jeromy's voice and not Jay's. I was thinking Jay might not even be here. I opened the door.
"Hey, it's just the old man...", and stopping the statement in mid-sentence, I was just standing there in amazement. Jeromy was sitting on the small sofa by the window, with his legs propped up on one of the desk chairs. He only had on a tank top and was stroking a boner of at least 8 inches long. At his feet, with his back to me, was a naked young man on his knees. I wasn't sure if he was massaging Jeromy's feet or kissing them.
"Dave, what a surprise. Come on in," as he waved me in. "I know it's a little bit of a shock, but I'm just having my feet worked on, after a long day. It always gets me hard."
I'm sure my face was saying "OMG", but I couldn't say a word. My jaw must have hit the floor. I was just staring at the scene in front of me.
"Hey man, take a load off your feet and sit." I started to sit down on one of the beds, when Jeromy's said, in a bit of an order like tone, "No...over here Dave. Sit next to me on the sofa and please take off your shoes."
I didn't even think about refusing the `order', so I sat next to him and slipped off my shoes. What I didn't realize, but Jeromy did, was I was transfixed on his cock that he was slowly stroking.
"Dave, I know you're confused, but I have always been bi. I have enjoyed the ladies, but over the last year plus, I really have started to explore and enjoy my gay side." As he talked, I just kept staring at it; now with some precum at the piss hole. "About a year ago, Jay and I started fooling around a bit and decided why not give it a try. I haven't been with a girl in over a year, and I couldn't be happier, as I am right now. The thing was, `how to determine our relationship?' Over the summer, I read up on stuff and found myself reading about Alpha vs. Beta males and BDSM stuff and I figured out I was an Alpha male. I have always been an Alpha without even knowing it. So, when we returned in the fall, we began to talk about where we saw ourselves and this relationship. Jay at first thought he was a Beta. But reading more as well as having discussions, he realized he was even lower on the totem pole. At this point, he knows that at most he's an Omega male but, more likely just a plain faggot. The thing is, just like me Jay couldn't be happier, isn't that right Jay?"
For the first time since entering the room, I looked down at the naked man working on Jeromy's feet and realized it was my son, Jay, and he was not just massaging his feet, but he was licking and putting his mouth around Jeromy's foot. He was even sucking on his toes and using his tongue on the soles of the feet.
"Yes, Master J, very happy Sir," as he took his mouth away from the feet, but went right back to working on them.
Now part of me was so appalled that I wanted to yell and then take Jay back home; but part of me realized that Jay is 21 and now an adult making his own decisions. However, there was another part of me that found it very erotic. I was surprised how curious and interested I was becoming in all of this.
"Ya see Dave, we have a great relationship. Hey...I don't want you to worry; Jay still goes to classes, studies and is making great grade. I make sure of that, studying every night. Just here in our home' he is naked and at my command. So, what if he studies naked and sometimes tied to his chair; he is still learning. All I know it is great having a faggot around to take care of me and our home.'
I looked around the room and it was `spit shiny' clean, which surprised me since most male dorm rooms resemble locker rooms more, then they do as a living space. Amazing.
Jeromy realized that I was very hypnotized by his hard cock. He was taking his fingers and smearing the glaze over his cock head, knowing I was watching very carefully. Then return to stroking the cock, very slowly. I had never been the kind of man to look at other men's cocks that often, maybe a glance in the gym shower, but not looking at a cock the way I was now.
"So why are you in town, Dave?"
After trying to come out the hypnotic state, I said, "was close by and thought I would take you and Jay out to dinner."
"Sounds great, but we are going to finish this first, understand?" in a tone that was said very direct and had the sound of a superior man. With the same tone he said, "now Dave sit back and relax. You seem to be enjoying the view."
I sat back on the sofa, but still staring at his cock. Looking back, I am amazed at the fact of how little I was paying attention to Jay, who was stilling working on his feet. What brought this to may attention is about this time, Jeromy snapped his fingers and pointed to the other foot. Without hesitation, Jay moved to the other foot and started working on it.
"You see Dave, we both know our place and we are both happy. All I know is the way this faggot works my feet really gets my cock super hard. At the end of these sessions, our boy will usually suck the cum out of my cock and it does it so perfectly. Interesting that Jeromy stopped using the term Jay and instead referred to him as boy', faggot' or `it'. Then Jeromy just laid back and dropped his head on the back of the sofa, like he was in heaven. All I could do is look at that cock and all the precum. Then something happened that was weird, but to me erotic. He took his index finger, got some precum on it and put that finger in his mouth. His moaning sounded like someone had just taken a bite out of their favorite dessert and loved it.
"Have you ever tasted your own precum, Dave? It is amazing."
As a straight man, I never even contemplated the notion of tasting my own cum or even precum. I told Jeromy this and he kind of smiled with his eyes closed, almost like he knew what was going to happen very soon.
"You don't know what you're missing."
Then he raised his head and turned to me with a puzzled look on his face. "Don't tell me you have never had a cock in your mouth."
I didn't want to answer, afraid of a couple of things. One, I didn't want either of them to think I was opposed to cock sucking or being gay. The other is I was afraid of Jeromy's voice...it was so commanding. With this in mind, I answered meekly, "No Sir." I am not sure where the `Sir' came from, but it seemed very appropriate at this point.
"Wow," with a big sigh. "Well I thought you might have once or twice, especially the way you were staring at my manhood." I must have turned 10 shades of red. "Well Dave, let's change somethings." With that he took his finger and put some precum on it and moved it to my mouth. Now you would think I would refuse, but instead, I opened my mouth and he stuck his finger in there. I even started to suck on his finger. It had a unique flavor. "So, what do you think Davy?"
"Different for sure Sir." There was that Sir again.
At this point he looked down at Jay and snapped his fingers. Jay stopped. Then he pushed the chair in front of me and said, "Davy you look kind of tense. I think you need your feet worked on." I laid back and put my legs on the chair with my feet hanging over them. Jeromy snapped and pointed to Jay, who crawled over and started to smell both of my feet. Since I was wearing sneakers that day, I had on the (what I call) sockets, the ones that don't even make it to your ankle. Jay seemed to be engrossed in my feet smelling them with such intensity. Jeromy got some more precum and brought it up to my mouth and I didn't even hesitate. I opened my mouth and took it. Jeromy looked down at Jay and said, "spend about 5 minutes on each foot and repeat until we are getting to close to going...or cumming...to dinner." Jay took off my socks and started to massage, lick and suck on my feet and toes. As I laid back, Jeromy fed me a couple more rounds of precum. Then after a few minutes he said, "Davy, you look to uptight. We need to get you more relaxed." With that he stood up and threw on leg over my legs and was now standing, straddling me, with his 8-inch cock swaying at me. "You are going to take off your shirt, Davy." That was first time that I realized he was calling me Davy instead of Dave. "I'm going to help." All of this was being said with that new commanding tone. He reached down and yanked my tucked shirt and pulled them out of my pants and in one movement my shirt was off.
Now I had a nice hairy chest, but most of the hair was on my pecs with a small happy trail down to my shorts. There I was shirtless, with my son sucking on my big toe then licking all the toes and this 22-year old man straddling over me in just a tank top. The amazing thing to all of this was the fact I was not resisting, and I was starting to enjoy it. Jeromy noticed I was enjoying it too.
"Well lookie, lookie...someone is starting to tent his pants." I looked down at what he was looking at and saw the bulge in my pants. I also felt a small spot forming in my briefs. "Davy nice chest." He started to run his fingers over my pecs and around my nipples. He then squeezed one of the nipples and I winced a bit. "So, you like it when a real man plays with your nipples huh?" He continued to play with my chest and nipples. After a few minutes he twisted both at the same time. Now I should have stopped it right there, but the fact I had a hard-on working and I was enjoying it, I just did a little yelp.
"Did you like that Davy?"
"Yes Sir." There was that Sir again.
He continued to play, then stopped and looked at me. "Davy, you need to see what a real man's chest looks like." With that he took off his tank top and was now standing naked over me. His chest was very firm and had about as much hair on it as mine. The fact is I was not as muscular as Jeromy was. He then moved forward and knelt on the sofa, a knee on each side of me.
"Feel a real man's chest boy." I didn't even think twice and didn't care I was being called boy. I reached up and moved my hands through his chest. I had never done this with a man before and it was turning me on. Here I was shirtless, and naked man straddling me while I play with his chest and my son working my feet. I could feel the spot getting bigger in my briefs.
"You like this, don't you boy?" as he reached down and played with my bulge. "I am thinking you cock might need some release time...huh boy?"
"Yes Sir." Without a doubt, roles were getting weird, but very exciting all at the same time.
He snapped his fingers at Jay, and he stopped. He pointed down and Jay basically went into a totally kneeling on the floor. Jeromy unstraddled me, and then moved the chair. "Get up Davy, let's get you more comfortable." As I stood, both of us could see the bulge in my pants, but even more, Jeromy pointed to a spot on my khaki shorts where my precum had soaked through. He stepped in front of me and started to unbuckle my belt. With that he then unbuttoned the top button and unzipped the pants. They fell to the ground. He made me step out of them and threw over to one of the beds. He then played with the bulge and then reach in my white briefs and grabbed my hard cock, squeezing out some more precum. In my white briefs, I felt like one of those freshmen I saw earlier. He then turned me around and pulled my briefs far enough down to just reveal my butt. He played a little with it and even played in the crack, touching my hole a couple of times. This was some how turning me on even more. He then slapped my ass a couple of times after which pulled up the briefs. Looking back, he wanted to be the first man ever to play with my cock, balls and ass. What happened next surprised me.
"Davy, have you ever had a blow job by a man?"
"No Sir"
"By a woman?"
"A few times Sir."
"Well it is time for you to feel how a faggot does a blow job. You see a faggot knows what it feels like, so it knows what things will please a real man. Faggot, crawl over here and remove Davy's little briefs." I started noticing more and more we were not being referred to as father and son, in fact I felt he was treating Jay more like an object. Jay crawled over and lifted up, taking the top of my briefs and pulling them all the way down, in which I stepped out of them. My cock sprang to attention with some precum there. It was at this moment I realized that Jay's beautiful head of hair was pretty much gone...he was bald.
"Good boy," as he patted Jay on the head like he was some kind of dog. "Boy it is important for Davy here to know how it feels to receive a proper blow job that faggots can only give. You are to give Davy a blow job, but neither of you are to cum. Do both you sluts understand?" We both nodded.
Jay scooted up a bit and then opened his mouth and started to take my cock in. I really couldn't believe it. Here I was naked in front of my son, who is giving me a blow job and his boyfriend in charge of everything. I did look over to see Jeromy stroking his nice cock again. When he saw I was looking he took some precum and brought it up to my mouth. Like before I just took his finger in and sucked it clean. What was really amazing is how well Jay could suck. I could feel the use of his tongue and how he had different sucking levels. He also was paying attending to my balls by playing with them. Jeromy must have sensed that I was getting close and had us stop.
"Okay Davy, could you feel the difference of this one versus the other ones you have received from women?"
"Yes Sir."
"Because it is your turn to be a cock sucker just like your son, boy. But since I do not let a virgin cocksucker ever near my cock, we need to get a little experience before we do this. Faggot, you are going to get a little extra something tonight. Stand up fag."
With that Jay stood up. Wow, 3 men standing naked, and the one in charge is the short one. When Jay stood up, that was the biggest surprise so far. First his cock was in a chastity cage, which Jeromy walked over to unlock it. Second, there was not a bit of hair over any part of Jay's body, except the eyebrows and eyelashes. Third, Jay had nipple rings, and they were about an inch in diameter.
"Okay Davy, you are going to practice on my faggot. Get on your knees," which I did. Jeromy turned Jay towards me and moved him in front of me. Now the fourth surprise. Just above Jay's cock was a tattoo that said, `owned'. Jay's cock got hard right in front of me. "Okay put the cock in your mouth cocksucker...you have to learn." I did this and started to suck. I tried to do what Jay was doing to me earlier. He seemed to be enjoying it. After about 5 minutes and no cum, Jeromy stopped us. Jay knew not to cum.
"Good, I think the cocksucker is ready."
Jeromy moved back to the sofa and sat down kind of in a slumped form.
"Davy, crawl over here and get between my legs." I did this, with such a feeling of humiliation. There I was, naked, crawling on all fours up to Jeromy's cock, which was right in front of me. "Okay faggot, crawl behind Davy, you are going to eat his ass while I enjoy the mouth of this newest faggot." I could see out of the corner of my eye, Jay start to crawl behind me, then he disappeared.
With this, Jeromy took my head and guided towards his cock. I opened my mouth and took it in and started to work. Then I felt Jay's mouth on my ass. I had never had my ass eaten before and it was a different sensation. But I knew I had to concentrate on Jeromy's manhood, so that is what I did. This seemed like forever, but it was probably 5 to 10 minutes top. Jeromy was already to shoot earlier, so it was not going to take much. Through out this time, he would call me names and degraded me with his words. I couldn't believe how turned on I was.
Finally, I heard Jeromy say, "Oh fuck...ya...here I cum.." moaning like crazy. Then I could feel his cock swell in my mouth. I was going to take my first load ever. There was one strong squirt which I could taste. Then quickly he pulled his cock out and gave me a facial of the next 5 squirts. I was covered in his cum. He then stuck his cock back in my mouth and I sucked out the remaining bits. All this time, Jay was just working on my ass. Jeromy slowing pulled my head off his cock and in a surprise, he spit on my face.
"You are just as much a faggot as you boy, (sarcastically say) Mr. Durham." He got up and reach for Jay and said, "You can stop licking you ole man's ass boy."
There I was on my hands and knees next to my son, who was also on his hands and knees, naked. I had never experienced anything that brought my brain and body to such excitement. My cock had never been this hard before. That is the moment I figured out I was a faggot cocksucker.
"Okay, we need to get ready to go, so daddy fag can take us out to dinner."
"Do you have a towel?" I asked.
"While in our home, the `Sir' will still be used boy," as Jeromy looked at me kneeling there.
"Yes Sir, do you have a towel Sir?"
"No boy, you are going to have to go to the bathroom and clean up."
I started to move towards my clothes but was cut off by Jeromy. "No boy you will walk down the hall like that with cum on your face, so everyone knows faggotry runs in the family. Do not wipe any of the cum off your face until you complete the next task boy."
I thought what else could happen. There I was still kneeling looking up at Jeromy. Did he really have that much control over me? It really seemed he did.
"You will stand and walk normally, naked, down the hall to the bathroom. You will go to the middle urinal. Standing there with legs slightly spread apart, you will put your hands behind your head. You can not leave that spot until you have pissed. Once you have pissed, using hands, take off as much cum as you can and eat it. Once completed, you then can wash your face. It doesn't matter who you run into in the hall or in the bathroom, you are to let things just happen. If someone wants to feel your ass or stroke your cock, you will let them. When leaving the bathroom, you will crawl on all fours back to the room. Understand faggot?"
"Yes Sir."
I couldn't believe I was going to do this. I stood up and left the room, walked down the hall with a semi-hard cock bouncing in front of me. Once in the bathroom, I went around the corner to the urinals and toilets and stood at the middle one (of five), just as he said. I was having problems peeing, since my cock was semi-hard. I was just thankful that no one else was in the bathroom at all when I walked in. I must have stood there for 3 to 5 minutes, then I heard the door open. Oh shit, someone is coming in. I heard it close and footsteps towards the toilet side. I didn't look over just kept looking straight ahead. Then I heard those words.
"Well, hello Davy. You're looking used tonight." It was the nameless guy from early. He walked behind me and took the urinal right next to me. This time he was wearing shorts, but that was all. He took out his cock and starting to piss.
"Having problems pissin' man?" he said with a chuckle. "Just got a great pic a few minutes ago, want to see?"
I didn't say anything. I was so humiliated just standing here in this position with this guy next to me pissing with a great looking cock.
"Here let me show it to you." He reached in his short's pocket and pulled out his cell phone. Flipping to the text message, he pulled up a message then tapped on the pic.
"Look Davy."
As I looked, I saw it was me sucking Jeromy's cock and you could see Jay behind me working my ass.
"I knew you had to be as much of a fag as Jay is."
I then heard someone else come in and go the shower side. They turned on the shower and seemed to get in. I was kind of thankful for that, since hearing the running water got my mind back to peeing and then I let go with a long piss.
"Oh Davy, I see your hands are busy, so let me help you with this peeing issue." The guy took my cock and held it. Then while I was in the middle of peeing, he turned it up and sprayed my chest with some piss. "Oh, I'm so sorry Davy. It slipped." I finished peeing...thank god.
"Now Davy, let me help you shake off the last drops." The man started at first just flinging drops, then he started stroking my cock. Damn, my almost soft cock was quickly getting hard, again. While stroking my cock, he walked behind, but did not put away his cock and stood close behind me. He was rubbing his semi-hard cock on my ass while still stroking me.
Then he whispered in my ear, "You see Davy, Bruno knew you were a faggot from the start. Next time we meet, I'm gonna stick this cock of mine up that pretty little ass of yours and you're gonna love it." He was using his other hand to go over my chest and play with my nipples. "Now I know you're not to waste Jeromy's cum, so I'm going to feed it to you." With that he started to wipe off some, then stick his fingers in my mouth. We did this until all was pretty much gone, which was good because I was so close to cumming. He stopped stroking me and whispered, "not now boy."
With that he released my cock, but one last whisper of "remember Bruno", then he stepped back. He took his finger and wiped his precum with it. He then put it in my mouth. "Like?"
I nodded, but he said "what?"
I quickly responded, "yes Sir."
He then did the same thing with his finger, but then, put his finger in front of me he said, "this is for the other hole." He took that finger and reached down and stuck it up my ass. I jumped some, but again found it exciting. As he walked away, with his cock out of shorts, he winked like before and left.
I went to the basins and washed off my face. As I was doing this, the guy from the shower, come out and said, "nice ass" and just left. All of this was so humiliating.
I finished washing, opening the door, I got down on all fours and started to crawl. Crawling back down the hall, Bruno was now standing talking with the guy from the shower. A big smile come over his face as I started to pass them.
He said to the other guy, "yeah, that's faggot Jay's dad, and he is just as good."
"Interesting," the other one said with a big smile.
As I finished passing the, Bruno slapped my ass and said, "But if I'm fucking that ass, it will have to be shaved. And I'm the one who would shave it. In fact, we might have to shave a lot more." They both laughed as I worked my way to room 320.
As I got close to the room, Jeromy stepped out and took a quick pic of me crawling. Once in the room, Jeromy was dressed, but Jay was standing in front of the sofa, naked with his hands on his head.
"Good boy. You do follow orders well daddy faggot. Okay, you will now dress the boy. I will give you what it is wearing then you will put that piece on it." He first handed me a tank top with the word "faggot" on it. Here I was naked, dressing my son and the first thing to put on is a shirt with that word. Then he gave me shorts for him to wear, but no underwear. I looked puzzled.
"Faggots don't wear underwear, just put them on. You might have to tuck him in."
I had Jay step into each leg of the shorts then pulled them up. They were tight. Once in place, I had to take Jay's cock and tuck it into the shorts, then try and zip them up. Really weird. Once on, Jeromy said, "flip flops" and Jay went over and put them on.
"Okay faggot, stand next to Dave." This seemed so weird that my son was wearing clothes and I was naked. "Now grab his cock fag." Then Jeromy started to take pics.
After that was through, he told me to get dressed. I walked over to where my shorts were but did not see my underwear. "I told you, faggots don't wear underwear," and turned and pointed to the top of the window. There, my briefs were hanging off the curtain rod. "Now finish getting dressed. I put the shorts on and then my shirt. Then the shoes and socks.
"Good, we are ready to go." With that we left, with me following Jeromy and Jay following me. It was like the walk of shame as we passed several rooms, including Bruno's, with guys making comments. As I left the dorm heading towards my car, I realized I came for a surprise visit...I just didn't know I was the one that the surprise was on. That surprise was I was a cock-loving `cocksucker faggot'.