A SPY CAN BE IN LOVE by Andrej Koymasky (C) 2008 written on March 4, 1992 translated by the author English text kindly revised by Will Hawkins
USUAL DISCLAIMER
"A SPY CAN BE IN LOVE" is a gay story, with some parts containing graphic scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion, family, opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be better not to read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't care, or because you think you really want to read it, please be my welcomed guest.
CHAPTER 7 - Faithful to his Duty
Yuri was awakened by the first rays of the sunrise. He saw Roger at his side, still asleep. He sat up on the bed, uncovered that beautiful, naked body still relaxed in sleep, and admired him for a long time. The previous evening they had finally made love for the first time. It had been something special, really beautiful and Yuri quivered recalling their union. The more he looked at Roger, the more beautiful he seemed. That body, so surprisingly perfect, with its well defined and proportioned muscles, really worthy to be a statue of a Greek athlete carved by a classical artist, had vibrated with desire and passion for him.
They made love on that hotel bed, and Yuri had felt a peculiar sensation, almost as if it had been his first time. He offered himself to Roger with great spontaneity, he took Roger with naturalness, and everything happened as if they had waited for that moment forever - as if one had been created expressly for the other. Everything simply happened because of how it was destined to happen. Because it couldn't be different. That body that, up to a few hours before, was alien, now belonged to him. Yuri was astounded - what was this magic he was living?
Almost shyly he stretched out a hand and with his fingertips lightly brushed the silky skin of that very beautiful man who had vibrated for him, with him. Roger moved slightly but didn't wake up. Yuri didn't want to wake him, not yet. He wanted to admire him, to enjoy that vision, to delight his eyes and his fantasy with last night's innocent and pure abandon.
When he had had sex with others, before, he had lived his experiences, as good as they were, as something essentially physical, carnal, material. It had been different with Roger. All the others, as agreeable, as desirable as they were, remained always... others. Not Roger. He was not another, he was... what was he? Yuri was not able to understand, to provide his own answer, but he knew, he could feel that Roger was no longer an "other" to him.
Other than his beauty, what did Roger have that was special, was different from the others? Yuri didn't understand it and yet he knew that there really was something special. Was it that face, mature, manly, with the pure eyes and the fresh smile of a child? Or was it how Roger looked at him, touched him? Or was it only the magic of that place? Or was just the fact that both of them had desired that union for so long before surrendering to it?
Yuri didn't know. But he knew that the previous night, with that so beautiful young man, something... special had happened. He couldn't find the right words to describe it.
Now the sun's rays were playing with Roger's hair, creating warm golden highlights, of the same old gold as the ancient icons he had seen in the museums and churches, Yuri was waiting for the man to open his eyes to capture that aquamarine colour into which he could dive, and the limpid smile, pure as spring water. Yuri was waiting for those lips to part to repeat his name. Roger had told him that his name had a good sound, and when the man uttered it, Yuri felt it to be the most beautiful name one could have.
The miracle happened again - Roger opened his eyes, saw Yuri looking at him, his face brightened with his warm smile and he said his name.
"Yuri... why are you so beautiful?"
Yuri smiled and caressed him without answering him. Roger raised his arms, embraced Yuri and pulled him to himself. They kissed. Their bodies searched each other, quivered at the union, each resonating with the other. Their tongues tenderly played and the boy and the young man united again, starting once more to make love. Yuri lost the sensation of time and space. He was feeling as if he were suspended in a new dimension. Roger was absorbing all his thoughts, all his emotions, all his energy. Nothing else existed any more. That anonymous hotel bed was the whole cosmos and their union was the vital essence of that mysterious, wonderful, fascinating and new universe.
Yuri was feeling within himself such irrepressible happiness that tears of joy welled up. Roger recognized the passion of those tears and tasted them with his lips, kissing and caressing Yuri, making him feel all his tenderness. They finally both felt all their energies concentrate, accumulate, grow out of all measure... then sweetly flow away in a majestic and relentless stream, until a sweet calm pervaded them.
"Roger..." Yuri murmured, gently smiling.
"Yes... We came back on earth, as you see."
"But what a journey!"
"Yes, it has been wonderful, Yuri."
"But now it we had better go downstairs. Do you see the time? It's almost ten o'clock."
"The lake is waiting for us. It's a pity we couldn't make love for the first time on the shore of the lake, under the sun."
They went down, paid for the two rooms and went back to the lake. Yuri took out the car the remaining things he had prepared to eat, and they ate their luncheon with great appetite, laughing and joking with each other.
Then Roger said, "Now that we... have broken the ice, can we make love again? I don't want to wait so long next time."
"Nor I, Roger; I want to make love as often as possible. But where can we do it? We cannot go to a hotel in Moscow, as you know. Not I, anyway, as my residence is Moscow."
"It is not possible at my place; I live in the same building with other Embassy staff so I cannot take you there. How about at your apartment?"
"Yes... I could set it up with my roommates and some times, for a few moments, we can be alone. But it would be better if my roommates don't see you... You see, they don't know about my sexual preferences... I would have to tell them I am taking a girl to my bed, as at times they do. At times they ask me not to come back home until a certain hour, just for that reason."
"So it will not be easy doing it as often as we would like..."
"That's so. But on the weekends, they often go to their parent's villages, and at times also during the weekdays. Unless we can meet in the morning... I can skip some lessons..."
"It would not be easy to leave the Embassy during the work day. At times I can, but not very often."
"Roger, I would like making love with you every day..."
"I too, Yuri. But we have to be content with the times we can manage to meet, when our schedules coincide."
Yuri was glad that Roger so easily accepted going to his place. He thought that the people at the listening centre could see and listen to them easily... and he felt at once annoyed and satisfied. Annoyed because it lay heavily on him to let others see the beauty of their union, and satisfied that he would be able to make Roger talk and his KGB superiors would be happy with him. These two feelings were at war.
"What's up, Yuri?" Roger asked, feeling the sudden change in mood of the boy.
"Nothing... just a slight headache."
"Did I exhaust you?"
"No, no... Not at all. I was just thinking where and how we could meet, besides my apartment."
"When we cannot go there, we can be together anyway, go for a walk on the fine days, or to the theatre, to movies, to a museum, if the time is bad... but anyway we can see each other."
"Yes, sure, but I... I would like to make love with you as often as possible and not just once in a while."
"I too, Yuri. But we have to be content with what we can work out."
At the end of the day they had to go back to Moscow. Roger took Yuri home and they said goodbye making a date for the next day. Yuri found Nikita sleeping and Stanislav absorbed in his studies.
"Why is Nikita in bed?"
"He was tired. It seems that his Brazilian last night didn't let him close his eyes, he never got enough, and he fucked Nikita and made him fuck him lots of times... Then this afternoon he could not rest, as I brought here my Australian."
"How' is it going with that target?"
"Fine; I'm squeezing information out of him between one fuck and another. And you, how are you doing with your Canadian?"
"I managed to get into his bed, in a little hotel. I have to start bringing him home now. We need to agree about a schedule. In order to make up for all the time I lost; I need to bring him here rather often..."
"How is he in bed?"
"Very agreeable. He does anything I ask him and does it nicely. In a word, he is skilled. He gave me pleasure and above all he likes me."
"Good! Mine is a little... how to say... of fixed habit. In the long run he becomes a little boring, anyway he's not bad - and above all very talkative. Not as much as Nikita's Brazilian, but enough. Jusichev told Aleksandr that he is quite happy with my work, and this is what counts. But tell me in detail how has it gone between you two... Is his body as beautiful as his face?"
"Oh yes he is very beautiful. So, while we were on the shores of Lake Dubna he made some odd speeches..." Yuri started to tell of what had happened, while Stanislav listened carefully.
Yuri was aware that it was difficult not to talk in superlative terms. As he was narrating the various moments he spent with Roger in those two days, Yuri was living through the beauty of those moments and found difficult not to show his enthusiasm, to remain as cold and detached as he would have liked. Describing the two times they made love, Yuri became aroused and he strongly felt the desire to still be with Roger, in contact with his sexy body, admiring his intimate and sweet smile.
At the end Stanislav commented, "From how you talk about it, it seems that everything was really good. I wish you well with him. At times, at the beginning, they can seem almost like Prince Charming, but then... a little like Nikita's Brazilian, who when he fucks is a satyr, or like mine who is more boring than an old wife. But a job is a job - the important thing is we get to squeeze them well. Ah, by the way, did you hear that it seems that poor Dmitri got assigned an American target with a cock like an elephant, who practically raped him? He asked to leave him but in spite of Ivan and Aleksandr backing him, Jusichev didn't accept, because they are too interested in spying on that American. Timotej says that the poor Dmitri almost needed to get stitches..."
"How is our little Timotej? And the others?"
"Fine. Timotej's target is a black man... I can't remember from which African nation. He says that his black man has a huge tool too, but happily for him, he only likes getting blowjobs, so our Timotej doesn't have the same sort of problem with him that Dmitri has with his target. Pavel had a Chinese target, but he was falling in love with him, so he asked to be replaced. So they passed the Chinese to Valery who was free. Valery is as usual - he just needs to be near a man for him to try to get into his trousers. It seems that Mikail is having difficulty in making him behave. Well, possibly Valery would be satisfied with Nikita's Brazilian. But so many problems, such a mess... When they first proposed for us to work at the NOD, I felt like it was almost a fairy tale, but now..."
"What do you want, after all we are nothing but the homosexual whores of the KGB. They tell us with whom we have to go to bed, and we have to do our best to satisfy our targets, including the risk of having them tear us a new asshole, or to go all night long without a moment of rest. Moreover we absolutely have to not fall in love with one of our targets, or else we would no longer be efficient. A spy cannot fall in love..."
"You sound bitter, Yuri. Yet we have always known it to be so, Aleksandr clearly told us from the very first day. He has been honest with us, you can't deny that."
"Yes, sure, and I'm absolutely not complaining. My three targets were all fine, especially this last one, it seems. But we remain only people paid to fuck. Possibly it is because of that that at times we enjoy having sex amongst ourselves. It is healthy sex made for the pleasure of having it, not as work, not for a salary. Do you know what I mean, Stanislav? Why don't we undress and go in the other room to wake up Nikita? I would really like to make love with no hidden purpose, now."
"A threesome?"
"Why not? Quietly, slowly, just waiting for supper time... Are you game?"
Stanislav smiled and nodded in assent. They undressed and slipped into Nikita's small bed, lying against him, one on each side. As soon as Nikita woke up between their naked and aroused bodies, they started to make love.
But, while he was with his fellows, Yuri kept asking himself what was happening to him. He was always thinking of Roger, he wasn't able to erase him from his mind even for a moment. And, he realized, it was not only the image of the perfect body of the young man, not even the special way he was able to make love, or the way Roger looked and smiled to him... it was all of Roger, his character, his personality, that, together with all the rest, was fascinating. Something like an obsession beat out in his thoughts - my Roger, my Roger...
At that thought Yuri rebelled - the man wasn't his fucking Roger! He was just the prey of the KGB, and Yuri was the spider who had to painstakingly weave his web to lure him by using his body, fucking with him.
And yet... he was now having sex with his friends, like he had before with Jean Pierre and with Olaf... he fucked with them too... but with Roger it had been something more. Or possibly it was for Roger that it had been something more. His Canadian target was in love with him; he was already in love with Yuri. This was better bait to lure him into the web, to hit the target, to fool him completely.
At a one point Nikita asked him, "Hey, where are you, Yuri? I feel you are miles away..."
"No, I'm here fucking with you... and with Stanislav."
"And yet you're oddly pensive and silent. What's up? What are you thinking about?"
"About that I would like you to fuck me in my ass and Stanislav in my mouth. I really would like that a lot..."
"If that is your only problem, we will make you happy at once, right, Stanislav? Get on all fours, go on, Comrade Dudaev!" Nikita said, smiling merrily.
Yuri assumed the position and his two friends took him from both ends... but Yuri was still thinking of Roger... What would his Roger have said if he could now see him in that position, stuffed at both his ends? Would his sweet smile fade away... would his tenderness become cold... would his affection become contempt? Or would he join them in an unrestrained orgy? And what would he feel seeing Roger in his place, fucked at once by two males in rut, the fiery Nikita vigorously hammering into him in a fast rhythm and the sexy Stanislav moving back and fro with his mouth with calm but determination?
Yuri knew the answer. He would go to him and ask him if he weren't enough for him... he would send away his two friends; he would embrace Roger and would ask him - them or me; which do you choose? While his two companions were accelerating their strokes, nearing their orgasm, Yuri told himself - I would feel jealous of Roger... and this was like a revelation.
"Are you satisfied, now, my friend?" Nikita asked him, afterwards.
"Yes, I needed that."
"What's that? Your handsome Canadian is not enough?" Stanislav asked him with a sly smile, caressing Yuri's body all over; while Nikita went down to satisfy Yuri with his mouth.
"I don't want to think of my job, now. I just need to come..." Yuri murmured, feeling his orgasm approach.
Stanislav kissed him on the mouth, going on to caress his body, while Nikita brought to an end his masterwork with his lips and tongue. While finally Yuri was unloading arching his back in a spasm of pleasure, shutting his eyes, he saw again the so sweet smile of Roger who was looking at him during his orgasm, there in that little hotel not far from the lake, both on the previous night and that morning. And he thought that the day after he would see Roger again, but he could not make again love with him... unless...
"Could you let me use the apartment between four and seven p.m. tomorrow?"
"Do you want to bring your Canadian here?" Nikita asked him.
"Right. Have you two a date for tomorrow evening?"
"No, I'm to meet my target between nine p.m. and midnight." Stanislav answered.
"And I don't have to meet mine until the day after tomorrow, between three and eight p.m." added Nikita.
"Now that all three we have our target, it would be better we write down a schedule, possibly fixing shifts in rotation. While you fix our supper, Nikita and I will start to write a draft. What do you think? Let's get up, boys!" Stanislav said.
While they were eating, they established the timetable for a full week so that at certain times one of them would have the apartment at his disposal and the other two would stay away; so they wouldn't have to ask each time. Nikita and Stanislav willingly let Yuri have more time as he was just beginning with his target and at first, they all knew, their targets wanted to meet them more often.
The day after, when Yuri met Roger, his heart gave a sudden leap - God, how beautiful, desirable he seemed him... When the boy said that there would be no one at home until suppertime, Roger had a pleased smile.
He said, "Then, we can go immediately at your place. If you knew how much I missed you in these twenty hours. You are bewitching me, my boy. Today at work I did nothing but think of you."
They went to Yuri's home and immediately started making love. Yuri was thinking about the people at the listening centre who were watching them in that moment or would look at them later on the videotapes where their shows of affection were recorded. For the first time this thought disturbed him. He could feel that what Roger and he were doing was a wonderful thing and the fact they were recording, looking at it made it become something dirty. The people of the listening centre would not tell the difference from any other fuck...
Then a new thought hit him - the people of the listening centre would not understand that this time it was something different. Yuri felt terribly confused.
"What's up, Yuri? You seem different, today. Is something worrying you?"
"No, no, nothing, really nothing..." the boy answered, almost scared, then, trying to put on a more casual tone, he added, "I like very much making love with you, Roger, you know?"
"Yes, Yuri, I like it very much too ... but I feel that today you are somewhat more... distant than yesterday. Can you possibly be upset because today when I came here I at once started to... without first chatting for a while with you? Do you think that I'm only interested in having sex with you? But it is not so, I assure you. I just thought you too desired doing it immediately... For me you are not just a pastime. To me you are important. This is why it took me so long decide to tell you I desired you physically, can you understand that? With the other boys I finished in a twinkling of an eye. I just looked at them and if I liked them I immediately asked them if they had a place... With you it has been different, from the first time I saw you."
"Did you have many boys?"
"Yes, I admit it, more than a few. But all were just banal adventures with no or almost no sequel. You are different, I can feel it."
"Did you ever have a steady boyfriend, a serious relationship?"
"Just once, but there was no real love. We were together for a full school year, our last at the University. We were roommates and we made love practically every night. Until, when we graduated, each of us went his way, without regret."
"Was he your first boy? Was he your first time?"
"No, this time was when I was more or less your age, in the last University year, as I said. My first time happened long before, when I was fifteen. Dad adopted a fourteen-year-old mulatto boy, the illegitimate son of a cousin who died. We slept in the same room. After a couple months of living together, one night he came to my bed and told me that he loved me as I was to him more than a brother... and he started to caress me in a more and more intimate way, and got me aroused... and he taught me to make love. But later I discovered that he did it also with other boys - that was my first big disappointment. So I refused to do it again with him and, for a while, I even tried to steal his boys from him. But then I started to look for my own boys... Until, after I graduated at the University, I enlisted in the Navy."
"And in the Navy, who knows how many adventures, with your mates..."
"No, with just one. But when we were on leave, yes. A young man in uniform always finds lots of men trying with him, in every port. There was an embarrassment of riches!"
"You are also so beautiful... And also here in Moscow..."
"Before meeting you I met four or five other boys, here in Moscow, but none was exceptional as you are. You really are special, Yuri, believe me. And I don't mean just in bed. To me you are special in every context."
"If you had to make a choice between being just friend to me without making love, or to have just sex without being friends, which would you choose?"
"You are asking me to choose between air and food... one without the other would lead to death."
"But if you were bound to make a choice?"
"Friendship, I think, but I would die."
"Come off it!"
"No, Yuri. Since yesterday evening I have thought a lot of you, of us. We still don't know each other deeply, it's true, but... you are the most splendid person I have ever known. I really hope that ours is not only an adventure to forget in a day."
"You don't know me, as you said. As well I don't still know you. I don't even know what work you do at your Embassy."
Yuri said this sentence on purpose, for the benefit of whoever was listening to them. Roger started quietly to tell him about his work as cultural attachŽ. Of course he was just speaking of the official aspect of his work, but this was just a first step. Yuri was listening and asking mostly innocent questions.
Then suddenly, without even knowing the reason, he asked, "Is it true what I've heard, that all those who work in the Embassy are also spies?"
"Not everybody. Just some."
"And you?"
Roger looked at him with a smile, "If I were a spy, my answer would of course be a no. If I weren't, my answer would of course be a no. Therefore your question is useless, Yuri, isn't it?"
The boy smiled in his turn but asked, "What if you instead answered me yes?"
"I will be either a liar or a two bit spy."
"Anyway, do you see, between us there would never be something really deep? Your job, our nationalities... Our story, in the best of worlds, would be just an agreeable adventure, nothing more than an adventure."
"Let time tell Yuri. For the moment let's try to get to know each other better, to feel comfortable together. Let's try to profit from the chance that made us meet, know, discover each other..."
Yuri thought that that "chance" had really another name - KGB. And yet, inside, the boy could feel that Roger was becoming something more than one of his many targets. And he was afraid. It seemed that Roger was really falling for him, and this would allow him to play him like a fiddle. But he was also aware that he was feeling particularly sentimental about that young man, something that he was not allowed to feel, and this was really dangerous.
"Why are you so beautiful, Roger?" he asked, heart-broken.
"For you... As you are beautiful for me."
They went on talking for a long time, lying on the bed, flirting from time to time until their senses were once again awakened.
At a certain point Roger looked at his watch. "I would like making love with you again, before leaving. Would you like it too, my sweet Yuri?"
"Yes. How could I be near you, especially now, both naked, without feeling an overwhelming desire? Answer me, my wonderful man coming from so far away! Afterwards will out take me out for supper?"
"I can't, Yuri. I have a working supper."
"Or possibly, instead, you are going to meet another boy..."
"No, don't worry; he is fat and ugly, and rather elderly. But he is a big wig, and I cannot skip it."
"Is he your boss?"
"No, one of your representatives... and he is even unpleasant."
They started again to make love, and this time Yuri enjoyed it even more than before, as he was able to forget about the bugs and the recording, but thought only of Roger.
Roger perceived the difference, for while they were dressing he said, "I am happy we loved again. I have again found the Yuri of Dubna, the one who conquered me."
They went out and said goodbye. Yuri took the underground and went rapidly to the Lubyanka through one of the secret entrances they used, to avoid being seen if they were followed. Korobilo was not there, but he met Ivan and told him how a last he succeeded in starting his relationship with the Canadian diplomat.
He also told him he felt that his target had a really big crush on him, and that therefore he should give him rope, making him believe he too was in love with Roger. Ivan approved, gave him some advice then told him he would check the recording, after it was gone over by the specialists, to be able to give him more pertinent advice.
"If you really get him to love you, you have to try to bind him tightly to you, so that you can squeeze out good information from him. Give him enough rope and you will see that he will hang himself. If he is a romantic type as you say, the more you show you are in love with him, the more you will have him in the palm of your hand. You know that our superiors are very keen about him, as he surely works in close contact with the CIA. Please, Yuri, play your cards carefully; we count on you a lot. This target is one of the most important we have been assigned up to now."
Yuri assured him he would play all his cards in the best way and that they would be proud of him. He asked for news about the new cadets, especially the ones he had known, and about his old mates. Then he also asked him how was proceeding his relationship with Aleksandr. Ivan said it was going better and better and that they were looking for a nicer apartment, now that both of them were getting a best pay.
They said goodbye, then Yuri went to see a movie, to wait for the time when he could go back home.
CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 8
In my home page I've put some more of my stories. If someone wants to read them, the URL is
http://andrejkoymasky.com
If you want to send me feed-back, or desire to help revising my English translations, so that I can put on-line more of my stories in English please e-mail at
andrej@andrejkoymasky.com