A SPY CAN BE IN LOVE by Andrej Koymasky (C) 2008 written on March 4, 1992 translated by the author English text kindly revised by Will Hawkins
USUAL DISCLAIMER
"A SPY CAN BE IN LOVE" is a gay story, with some parts containing graphic scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion, family, opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be better not to read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't care, or because you think you really want to read it, please be my welcomed guest.
CHAPTER 2 - First Difficult Steps
He put down the pen, folded the sheet of paper, put it in an envelope without sealing it and gave it to the orderly to take to the censor who would then send it on to his parents just as he had done every month. Back in the dorm, he lay on his bed. He had more than half an hour to rest before changing into his warm-ups. He closed his eyes, but tried not to fall asleep. After a few minutes he heard somebody enter the room and come over to his bed.
"Yuri... are you sleeping?" the newcomer asked in a low voice.
"No, Nikolaj. What's up?"
"May I have your notes for the Technology class?"
"They are in my locker. It's the green copybook. Take it."
"Thank you. I really don't know how you always manage to write such complete notes. I am always lost. The Technology Professor talks too fast for me to take notes... or perhaps it is just that I am too slow."
"It's just a problem of training, as you do with your shooting. You learned how to shoot from childhood thanks to you father. I learned to write from my father, and to do it fast."
"Yes Yuri, but you are improving in shooting and weapons use, but I... I'm afraid that at the end of the course you will be a well-rounded agent, and I will be just a crack shot."
"Hey Nikolaj, crack shots are needed too, aren't they? Go copy my notes; now I would like to rest a little more!"
Nikolaj sat down and started to copy the notes. He liked Nikolaj; when they had their showers together he had to be careful not to look at him too much, and not to fantasize too much about him, or else he would get an embarrassing erection. He had adopted the habit of masturbating in the toilet stall just before taking his shower to avoid just such an accident.
But he sorely missed having a man...
When he was back to his village he had often amused himself with Gavril, the son of the Party Secretary, or with Lev, the young policeman or perhaps with Ilic, his cousin. Recalling Lev's big member, Yuri started to get a hard-on. Nikolaj was also well endowed and he would really like to taste it. He fantasized about proposing a trade for his notes... But Nikolaj always talked about girls... It was true that he too always told the same sorts of tales, for him, lies to hide his true preferences... Of course there in the Agent's school there had to be others like him, he could not be the only one. Possibly Gregory, the elegant Gregory... or Nikita the intellectual... or perhaps even the odious Piotr... Why not the handsome and so sexy Nikolaj?
Yuri got up and went to the toilet to masturbate, closing his eyes and fantasizing about having Nikolaj there kneeling in front of him, between his legs, begging him to allow him to suck it... and he after letting Nikolaj beg him long enough, would spread his legs to give him room and his greedy mouth would take it all inside and greedily suck it... and Yuri came copiously. He had to clean carefully around with toilet paper, not to leave any traces. Then he tidied his clothes.
Finally feeling calmer, he waited until his member softened and went to his room to change. He was finishing putting on his tracksuit when Nikolaj started to change also. Yuri stared at him from the corner of his eye but then some other cadets came to change their clothes, so Yuri went to the window in order to overcome his desire to stare at the bodies of his companions.
After training, in the shower, for Yuri there was another critical moment but happily he managed to keep everything in control without too much trouble. They all went to the classroom for the afternoon lessons. As the teacher of the first lesson came in he had with him somebody new; a man in his thirties or a little less, tall, distinguished, elegant in his shiny new Lieutenant's uniform, with a decidedly beautiful and interesting face. The Professor introduced him to the cadets as Lieutenant Aleksandr Korobilo, Special Counsellor for Academy Cadets.
The young Lieutenant explained to them that his role was to help the students with their psychological problems and so he would, from time to time, have them take some special tests and have private conversations with him. Yuri listened carefully to his words, but even more, listened to his warm, deep, sensual voice that made him feel quivers of pleasure all long his spine. The Lieutenant's eyes, while he was speaking, seemed to gauge the cadets one by one. They were brown eyes, piercing but not cold.
Yuri tried to imagine what Lieutenant Korobilo would look like naked... and asked himself why a uniform seems to make a man look sexier.
When the Lieutenant had finished his explanation, he asked if there were any questions, answering the few that were asked, he saluted and went out. Yuri followed him with his eyes, until he disappeared through the door, thinking that he would really enjoy having sex with that handsome man.
After Korobilo ended his tour of all the classes, he went to his new office in the Academy. It was made up of four interconnected rooms. From the corridor one entered an antechamber with two doors, one leading to a bedroom and the second to an office. From the office there were three doors, one to the bathroom, one to the bedroom and a third to the control room
Korobilo entered the control room, donned a set of headphones and scanned the row of small monitors on a shelf. The rooms under surveillance were now empty, as all the students were in their classrooms. He took the videotape off the recorder for the toilets and put a blank one in its place, then put the tape in the VCR. He saw several students enter, do what they had to and then leave. Then he saw one of the students go into a stall, lower his trousers, sit on the seat, his legs parted, and slowly masturbate. He changed the speed of that part to slow motion and recognized the cadet - it was Yuri Dudaev. A handsome boy, he thought. But how could one be sure if the young man was fantasizing about a girl or a boy?
He transferred all the sequence to a new tape where he wrote: "Dudaev: May 23 - 3:42/3:59PM - men's room - M." The time he remembered was just before Yuri had gone to the gym for training and to take a shower before returning to his dorm room. He took out the tape of Dudaev's dorm and checked that also. He saw the boy writing a letter, then lying on his bed, talking with Nikolaj Zasulich. They were saying nothing special. Then Dudaev went out to go to the toilet.
He rewound that part in slow motion and examined the figure of Dudaev lying on his bed - he was looking at his roommate... and something was starting to swell under his trousers fly, betraying the beginning of an erection. Was it absolutely casual, or was it related to his companion? Was Yuri feeling attracted to Nikolaj? Korobilo wrote a new note on the card and also transferred to Dudaev's tape the sequence in the dorm showing his beginning erection. He will have to look carefully at all the tapes where Dudaev and Zasulich were together and alone.
He checked the tape of the showers but didn't find anything interesting there, except for the pleasure of being able to look at all those totally naked young bodies. He mentally called himself a voyeur and smiled, amused. He ended his examination of the tapes, exchanged the tapes with new ones, erased the ones he had replaced, put Dudaev's file on the shelf and went back to his office. Here he took out Dudaev's dossier and read it carefully. There wasn't the least hint he had had a girlfriend before becoming a KGB cadet. But this also was nothing but a really weak clue. While he was putting away Dudaev's dossier, he asked himself what could be written in his own dossier. Possibly nothing about his sexuality, in fact who ever had compiled it probably wasn't watching for any symptoms. Searching for appropriate subjects would be a long and difficult task, he said to himself, primarily because, as was true when he was a cadet, hardly any one of the boys would dared to let his sexual preferences leak out in those surroundings. He must rely only on clues like those he was gathering about Dudaev.
He decided to go to the KGB Psychological Section, to see if there were any tests appropriate in analysing a person's sexuality. The female psychologist on duty gave him a list of books to read. He went to the KGB central library and browsed through them, but found very little, however he photocopied some pages and a set of tests.
Back at the Academy and in his office he went to the control room and checked some more tapes. Then, when his work day was over, he changed to plain clothes and went home, taking with him the material he had photocopied that day.
He stopped at the Sadko CafŽ where he had a date with Ivan. The boy had already been waiting for a few minutes. They left together for his home. He really liked Ivan. They at once made love then stayed on the bed to chat, while lightly caressing each other.
Ivan told him how he came to realize his orientation about five years before. His widowed mother married for a second time a man who had a son two years older than Ivan. As they lived in a small apartment, the two boys had to sleep together in a sofa-bed in the living room, and their privacy was provided only by a curtain pulled diagonally across the room.
His stepbrother, night after night, played with him, bringing him to arousal and to a desire to go farther. Until one night Ivan had agreed to be screwed by his stepbrother. But to him Ivan was nothing but a diversion, a palliative, in fact, as soon as he got a girl friend; he stopped the night activities with Ivan.
At this point, however, Ivan had come to like that kind of sex, so he started to look for other males with similar inclinations. For a period of some months he met frequently with a taxi driver who had cruised him at a movie theatre. The man was married and had a little baby. His wife worked in a factory and their baby was at day care so the man was able to take Ivan to his home. They had sex frequently after that first afternoon. When he enrolled at the university, Ivan discovered that it was easy to meet people with his same urges at the nearby park. He met other students and men cruising the park to hook up with a student. It was there that he met Aleksandr.
"Do you like being with me?" Korobilo asked him.
"Yes, very much; you really know how to make love. A lot better that all the men with whom I did it up to now. You also have a really wonderful body. I like being with you, even just cuddling as we are now... Not the way the majority of the others I met, who, as soon as they got off, wanted to escape, who knows why?"
"Possibly they are people not yet able to fully accept themselves, don't you think? They need a man; they satisfy their need, but then feel ashamed..."
"That could be true. In fact it is not easy to accept oneself, to be different, because of all the pressures that society and the system exerts on us. Who knows why we are persecuted, we do no harm if we do it with adult and consenting men?"
"We don't make children..."
"But the government fills our heads with propaganda about birth control!" Ivan exclaimed. "We should be honoured citizens in that case."
Aleksandr smiled. "I totally agree. But you see, the image of the new socialist man is that of Comrade Average, among other traits, a heterosexual man."
"What bullshit! The average man doesn't exist. There only exists a set of individuals, each different from the others."
"This is not an orthodox statement under the Marxist-Leninist point o view. You are aware of that."
"Yes, I know - the individual has no value, but only the masses. But a part of this mass is made of people like us, that is of men loving men. Why do they go on being blind?"
"Any minority, struggling for their survival, becomes a menace to majority values. Therefore each majority, from time immemorial, tries to eliminate all the minorities."
"Alright, but the fact is that a common majority doesn't exist. There are different majorities forming each time about a different matter. If a majority succeeded in eliminating a minority, later would discover that another minority exists within itself... another to eliminate, and so on, until only two persons remain. And with two individuals there cannot be a majority or a minority, but only unanimity or fifty-fifty... But let's stop with this discussion. Do you feel like preparing tea?"
"Yes, of course. Wait I'll just put something on..."
"No, please, stay as you are. I like seeing you naked." Ivan said with a mischievous smile.
Aleksandr grinned and went to the kitchen without dressing. Ivan followed him.
"How would you like to remain here for supper, and spend the night with me?"
"I would really like to, Aleksandr. But If I'm not home, without my preparing them for my absence, my parents would worry."
"It's a pity. I would have liked falling asleep with you at my side and then wake up with you still there..."
"It would be beautiful. I never could with anyone but my stepbrother. But except for the first few times when he was trying to seduce me he just screwed me, without any tenderness..."
Ivan left just as it was beginning to get dark, making a date for the next day. When he was alone, Korobilo read and re-read the tests. He didn't know if and how much they could be of use, but they could be one more element to use... and anyway provided a very good pretext to summon the cadets in his office, one by one. He recalled Yuri - who knows if he could really be one of the prospective candidates for the New Dacha Operation? And who else might there be? Unhappily he was still wandering in the dark.
The following morning he went to the control room and examined the new tapes at high speed, stopping each time he got the feeling there was something interesting. Again he copied some sequences and filled out the personal cards of other cadets.
Nothing new about Yuri; something interesting about Stanislav however; Gregory alone in the showers was arousing himself washing and lasciviously massaging his body and genitals with the foam, his eyes closed; Nikita in the dorm looking with ill-hidden interest at his companions while they were undressing to go to bed; Boris changing in the locker room and trying to hide from his companions his remarkable erection... But nothing certain, nothing that was acceptable as proof. This work took him the entire morning.
Back in his office, he wrote down a program to summon the cadets for a first personal contact, brought it at the Academy Director to have it initialled, then hung it on the bulletin board. He then went to his Lubyanka office. Here he found a memorandum from Jusichev that he read and put in his briefcase. He watered his plants then went to eat. Later he went back to his office at the Academy. In twenty minutes he would have the interview with the first of the cadets. He read the young man's dossier. Before being enrolled by the KGB he had a girlfriend. Was that just a cover, or did he really like girls? It was not yet possible to know. And it would be hard to get a truthful answer from the cadet.
After the boy completed the interview and left, Korobilo filled in the cadet's form with his observations and notes. He paused just a moment thinking he would have willingly taken that boy to his bed but, he told himself, he had better not mix his desires with reality. He took another cadet's dossier and started to read it.
One after another, over a period of two weeks he met all the students for a first contact. He brought all the material he had gathered to his Lubyanka office and carefully went through it again. From the secret filming and from the first interview he got a first evaluation of each boy that he wrote on the alphabetical list of cadets, writing near each name a number between zero, for the boys he judged to be heterosexual, and five for the boys who gave him the feeling they were probably homosexual. In one hundred and three students, he wrote only three fives
He was astounded at the great number of cadets who masturbated in the toilets or the showers. But never two together, as he had already guessed. The one who masturbated most frequently was the cadet Evgenj Ilarianov - he already had three tapes full. But the only one who, while masturbating, was fingering his asshole was Stanislav Solvei. This was an important clue, even though not decisive. He had assigned the third five to Gregory Lisov for his way of taking a shower. He had assigned only a four to Yuri Dudaev.
He studied the new cards of the boys and then wrote down the schedule for the following week. He was almost finished when his phone rang.
"Jusichev here. So, Comrade Lieutenant, do you have some results?"
"Not yet, Comrade. I'm gathering some interesting clues but nothing certain yet."
"You have to hurry. Zhitnikov wants the first results in a couple weeks, you know."
"I for sure cannot gather them together and ask them to raise their hand if they are homosexual! And unhappily there is no established test to discover the sexual preferences of a subject, or at least I didn't find any. I need more time; I cannot do more than I'm doing."
"Then just try to take them in your bed!"
"Who? All the students in the Academy? I would have to try seven or eight boys a day to check them all in two weeks. And almost certainly they all would refuse. If we just had a truly homosexual cadet planted among them, it would be easier. Among them, possibly, they would dare to risk a little more. The fault is in the militant repression exerted against homosexuals, and you are well aware of that, comrade."
"This is not the moment to indulge in ideological discussions, useless ideological discussions anyway. If you discover one cadet having the right requirements you can ask him to help you... What the hell, think up something!"
Aleksandr got an idea at once. "Don't you think if we had a truly homosexual boy enrolled... it would all be a lot easier?"
"Do you have someone in mind?"
"Yes... but I don't know if he would be willing to work for the KGB. And I don't know if the KGB would accept him."
"Give me the data on this youngster - I will have him checked out and eventually contacted via the usual channels. If he is cut from the right cloth to become an agent, and if he accepts, we will assign him to you and you can instruct him, so you can get his help."
"I would test him first..."
"Alright, alright as long as it is done quickly - I want your answer before the day after tomorrow. Otherwise, even if you have to really fuck eight cadets each day, it will be up to you!"
Korobilo smiled and assured his superior he would do his best. But how to ask Ivan if he would like to work for the KGB without telling him he, Aleksandr, already worked there? On the other hand he wouldn't like Ivan being contacted directly by the KGB and have him discover afterwards that it was he who gave his name to them. He was afraid that the boy would have a really negative reaction. He thought about it until it was time to go to meet Ivan again.
Ivan came towards him with a big grin, "I have good news, Aleksandr. I told my parents I'm going on a trip organized by the University, so I can stay at your place, tonight. Would you like that?"
"Of course, this is really good news. What do you want to do now, go at once to my apartment or to do something else before?"
"What do you think of taking a walk before supper?"
While walking, each of them told the other episodes in his life in order to get to know his companion better. Then they went to Korobilo's apartment and he prepared their supper. While they were eating, Ivan from time to time reached out his hand to touch Aleksandr intimately, awakening his desire. Then, sitting half embraced, they watched TV for a while, but besides the news, there was nothing interesting. Thus, between kissing and caressing, they gradually undressed each other and started making love.
"Do you like being with me, Aleksandr?"
"Yes, I do. But why do you ask me each time? Don't you have enough self-confidence, or don't I show it enough?"
"No, it's just that... that I like hearing you say you enjoy it. You are different from the others, you know? You are not interested just in screwing, and I like that. And I like knowing that you are interested in me, not just in my body. Don't think I am too romantic, and don't laugh at me."
"No, I won't laugh at you. But... are you by chance... getting a crush on me?"
"I don't know; possibly yes, possibly no. I really like you a lot. But I don't think I'm getting a crush on you. If I met a boy who attracted me and who is interested, I would go in bed with him without feeling I'm cheating on you. Therefore, I guess I'm not falling in love with you. I really dig you very much, that's all."
"Would you like having adventures with many different boys? Beautiful boys? And being able to try it with them without running any risk?"
"Well, sure - why not! Being able to try without worry, as one can with a girl... it would be great. But these are just daydreams."
Korobilo changed the subject asking him, "Do you like the course you are studying at the University?"
"At the beginning I really did - now, maybe not so much. But I think it always happens that way. One starts something thinking that a certain area of study or a certain kind of work is his ideal but then, as he continues, he discovers all its negative aspects. In the end I think that one choice is about as good as another. The only good point is that attending the University gives me the hope that one day I will be able to get a job with more responsibility and allowing more creativity. I don't think I am deceiving myself about this. By the way, what is it you do? You haven't told me."
"I will tell you, no problem... But would you like working for the government?"
"More or less, directly or indirectly, all the jobs are for the government, aren't they?"
"Some are so in a more institutional way than others, like in the army, or working in a Ministry, in the Police or in teaching..."
"I think that I will simply accept anything that is offered, when the time comes."
Korobilo changed the course of their conversation, asking him, "Ivan, wouldn't you like finding a job where you could express your sexuality without fear, without controls, without subterfuge?"
Ivan laughed, "Does such a job exist?"
"Well, if does exist?"
"I would sign up for it at once! Wouldn't you?"
"Sure. As a matter of fact I have already signed for it..."
"What? What do you mean?"
"I can't tell you now. But my bosses know I am a homosexual and leave me in peace. No discrimination, no pressure, no risks."
"Tell me where are you are working, and I will apply at once for a job there." Ivan said, laughing again, as if it were just a joke.
"I can tell my boss you are interested in joining us and if he is interested in you, he will contact you..."
"But you are serious aren't you! What is your job?"
"My chief knows I need help and he also knows I need somebody like you. So he asked me to find him somebody."
"What heck kind of a job are you doing? You aren't by chance in the Police Morality squad, are you?"
"No, my duty is not to root out and report homosexuals; I would never accept such a job."
"I can't be sure, but... all this makes me really curious. What kind of job can be one where a homosexual is needed as an aide?"
"Do you want me to tell my boss about you then?"
"Well... as I told you, I'm really curious..."
"Before contacting you, he will surely want carry out an investigation of your background. Therefore, if you have something to hide it could be better if I didn't give him your name. I don't want to get you into any trouble."
"The only thing I have to hide, as you know, is my homosexuality. But if you say that this wouldn't be a problem..."
"Also in your family, there are no problems?"
"Absolutely not; both my parents were simple but honest folk, and my stepfather has been a member of the Communist Party for ages."
"Do you then authorize me to talk about you to my superiors? Would you like coming to work with me as my personal assistant?"
"Well, of course I would. But what has all that to do with our sexuality? I really cannot even guess... Is it possibly a study, some research by the Psychological Department or something like that?"
"If they hire you, you will be told and it will be me to explain everything to you. Put down on this paper all your personal information, name, address, the courses you are taking and anything you can think of that would be useful to know about you."
Ivan took the sheet Aleksandr gave him and started to write. Then, before giving it back to his friend, he asked, "Are you really sure there will not be bad consequences for being homosexual?"
"If there were problems from that, I would automatically be in the same boat. Do you trust me?"
"I think I can... I just... wouldn't like to end up in a re-education camp in Siberia..."
"Neither would I, be sure. But I really believe that if my boss hires you, you will be agreeably surprised with your work."
"We have known each other only about two weeks ... and now I've the feeling you are going to totally change my life. Anyway... yes, I trust you. Here is my data."
Korobilo read the sheet, nodded, and then said, "I think you will hear quite soon whether we will work together or not. I hope we will. I think that your help could be decisive for my work. And I also think that you will enjoy the work you may be doing with me a great deal."
CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 3
In my home page I've put some more of my stories. If someone wants to read them, the URL is
http://andrejkoymasky.com
If you want to send me feed-back, or desire to help revising my English translations, so that I can put on-line more of my stories in English please e-mail at
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